I Hate You, Kiss Me
by BittenBee
Summary: Bella's given up on dating but has a one night stand w/mystery guy Edward. Both are surprised when he gets a job at her law firm! Coworkers Alice and Jasper, best bud Emmett & sultry boss Rose play a role in Bella's love life. Humor, UST. AU/AH OOC ExB
1. Chapter 1

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

_"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her." - Oscar Wilde_

**Chapter One**

_Men._

They never say what they mean and when they do, it wasn't what you wanted to hear. When you get that call back a week later you realize it was just a booty call. They didn't care about the real you. What happened to getting to know someone? Well I'm done with that too. I'm done with the awkward blind dates, sweating in my bra while asking the usual polite questions and wondering if he likes me and do I like him and are these answers he's giving me the truth? Palms sweaty and stomach knotted. The awkward end-of-the-night-walk to the door, hugging ass out, hesitant kiss goodbye and—no you can't come up to my apartment.

Then there's playing the field: pick up a guy at the bar and it's not hard to guess how that night will end. Sometimes that was easier, no expectations. But it's not lasting. Not real. And there's no need to be hopeful; ironically there is a man in my life that teaches me not to picture men on a white horse. My best friend and the biggest player of them all. Emmett Chase.

Women are much more sensible.

I could play the game. I considered myself to already have formal training in telling lies with confidence and following through with finesse. It was part of being a lawyer and not so coincidently, I loved it.

I lived in a nice apartment townhouse style building near downtown Seattle. I didn't usually see my neighbors except Marc, who lived down the hall from me. This morning he was washing his car on the street. God knows it rained enough in Seattle but it was his hobby. As I headed down the front steps to my car, Marc waved at me from across the street, sponge in hand and soapy water dripping down his lanky arm. He cheekily smiled at me through his large bifocals and I gave him a polite but hurried wave back and hopped into my car.

Glancing at the clock on the dashboard and I revved the engine. _When you live in a city you get good at driving._ I honked and sped past traffic, down side streets, officially making it to work with two minutes to spare. Pulling into my designated parking spot in the garage below the office building, the car lights flashed as I locked the black Mercedes and attempted to juggle my purse, briefcase, and coffee cup. Wearing brown dress slacks, a cream colored blouse with quarter length sleeves, and a violet sweater vest that was snug at my curves, I boarded the elevator. I worked for Lawrence Associates law firm and was really enjoying my job for the last few years.

I could already hear the humming of computers, people chatting and barking orders, paperwork everywhere, phones ringing off the hook, and in general the bustling of an office where we all worked under a constant deadline for the good of the people. Not five seconds after the elevator doors opened did I hear those familiar heels clicking. It was like a countdown to something unsavory awaiting me.

"Isabella I need you to take a look at this file, stat." I never liked the use of my full name that only my boss addressed me by. I was sure she did it just to annoy me.

The sultry, professional hard-ass Rosalie Lawrence towered over me in all of her commanding glory. As the Office Manager of the litigation department, Rosalie was climbing to the top of the firm that her father and uncle owned together.

"Good morning Rosalie," I greeted with a bite to my cheerful smile and accepted the file she handed me. I wondered why she couldn't have just left it on my desk with a note as I rearranged everything I was carrying.

When I sat down at my desk I groaned at the large stack of folders and papers. Well no wonder, there wasn't any room on my desk. Emmett wanted to start the weekend early and now Karma was giving me payback.

"Why the sad face, Bella?" My coworker and friend Alice peeked her head over the adjoining wall of our oversized cubicle. It was more of a small office opened to the rest of the department and each of our desks were separated by a half-wall that sectioned off our working space.

I rearranged my expression into a smile. "I don't think I'll ever get the hang of Mondays," I sighed.

"Well I had a great weekend. Jasper and I went on a date to spice things up. It was so romantic," she squealed happily.

"That's great Alice. You guys have been together for almost a year now."

"And a fantastic year it's been. I remember it like yesterday, he was part of that group of interns." She grinned devilishly.

I smirked. "You robbed that cradle pretty fast."

"Jasper is not that much younger than me! And when you meet _the one_, you just know," she replied smartly. "Although I find it incredibly sexy that he's my office assistant."

I rolled my eyes. Jasper was one of many office assistants and he wasn't specifically for Alice, but he might as well have been. He was very _attentive_ to her and she never passed up the chance to send him on errands or request favors.

We heard Rosalie's four-inch pin heels clicking and immediately ducked back into our respective desks. I shrugged off my jacket, hid my face in my coffee, and opened the file. The clicking heels passed us.

During lunch I hastily munched on a bagel and cream cheese while trying to catch up on the extra paper work. I was so deep in concentration that when the phone rang at my desk, I almost choked on my food in surprise.

"Good afternoon, this is Bella," I garbled into the receiver, looking under my papers for my soda.

"Bells what's up!"

I lodged the bite of bagel to the side of my cheek. "Emmett, I told you not to call me at work unless it was important." I finally found my soda behind a binder and took a greedy swig, forcing the food down.

"Bad time?" he asked, amused.

"Yes, I'm working double time after your steal-Bella-from-work-at-three-on-a-Friday stunt."

"Hey we had fun."

"Right, watching you scope out chicks at the bar was a great time." It _was_ a great time but I was in no mood to agree.

"Before that..." I imagined Emmett pouting his lower lip out playfully. "And you're the only girl that's cool enough to be my sidekick."

I sighed heavily. "Fair enough. Now is there a point to this call?" I barked. The mountain of folders threatened to swallow me with every break.

"Whoa, is it that time of the month?"

"Emmett!" I hissed.

He chuckled.

"I swear to—"

"Alright, alright." He sobered. "One of the guys I train at the gym was asking about you. Interested?"

Anytime I swung by after work to see Emmett, all the sweaty guys at the gym would stare open-mouthed at me. One time a guy dropped a weight on his foot. I tried to keep my visits rare after that or many more men would injure themselves. "I don't know, what's he like?" I asked tiredly. I envisioned another awkward, unpleasant evening. I was over the whole dating thing.

I heard Emmett shrug on the other end. "Seems nice enough. Pretty serious guy though. I've only seen him recently, so he either just moved here or he's suddenly obsessed with body building."

"Can you tell me anything useful?" I asked in a bored tone.

"He can bench one hundred twenty-five," he stated proudly.

Of course Emmett thought that was an important quality. "Goodbye Emmett. And stop calling me at work." I hung up with a click, politely but decidedly.

I breathed in the rest of my lunch and tried to concentrate again. Once I was in the zone, I loathed interruptions. Plowing through my workload under a deadline was a better motivator than coffee sometimes.

Not long after, Rosalie approached my desk, expectantly. I handed her the file back from this morning. I had already filled out the remaining paperwork for it and typed it up for our computer archives. "It's an interesting case, when should I schedule the next hearing?"

"The sooner the better, we don't want this boy's issue to be drawn out." Her red lips pressed into a line, making her look even stricter in manner. The only thing that softened Rosalie's appearance was her golden hair, flowing down her shoulders in soft waves.

"I can schedule Wednesday morning at nine-thirty."

"Good. I'll confirm the time slot with the judge and Mr. Lawrence." At work Rosalie never addressed Mr. Lawrence by 'uncle' or 'daddy'. Sometimes it was hard to tell which 'Mr. Lawrence' she was referring to.

I was typing it in as she spoke. Rosalie left swaying like she was on a runway in her tight, black pencil skirt. She never had to request anything twice.

Another hour went by and thankfully, it was almost four o'clock. I was more than halfway through my stack of folders which was quite an achievement considering the usual interruptions that came up during a day at a busy law firm. One could get easily sidetracked.

Rosalie came clicking her way over again. _Ah, the clicking sound of doom._

"Listen up everybody." Activity in the room stopped mid-stride. Papers floated in the air and nothing but the sound of computer monitors hummed under the newly strained silence. "Staff meeting in five," she informed us, and briskly turned away.

Everyone jumped back into action like a Broadway set. I hated to leave my work unfinished, nevertheless Alice and I shambled to the conference room. We found a smiling Jasper who held out the seats next to him for Alice and I. He always dressed in khaki pants and white collared shirts, but the oddity of this plain style was that he usually had some band t-shirt peeking from the neck of his collar.

Everyone else filed in looking curious and confused. We usually only had these meetings if corporations got involved in one of our lawsuits or budgeting the money.

Rosalie took her usual seat beside her uncle as her father stood at the head of the room to speak. He was a short, broad shouldered man in a snappy suit and cufflinks and his voice was deep with years of whiskey drinking. He could command the room with just his presence. We settled down to attention and I began fidgeting impatiently, envisioning the work at my desk.

"Richard, from our department of legal documents who has been our main communicator with J. Jenks & Associates will be moving on from us. He's getting married and has taken up a job in California," he announced, gesturing to the sandy haired man seated near him. "Let us wish him the best of luck and a safe trip," he said warmly.

We all politely nodded and some who knew him better than others gave Richard their heartfelt congratulations. As the chatter died down Mr. Lawrence continued. "Next week we will have a new member joining our team from our New York offices at J. Jenks & Associates. As you know, J. Jenks & Associates has handled our legal documents for years. They have been a valued partner to this company since our father founded Lawrence Associates."

I stifled a yawn. I hoped there wasn't going to be a PowerPoint presentation on the founding fathers of Lawrence Associates.

"It'll be hard to replace you Richard, but this newbie is going to be a great asset, working in-house to help us with our more urgent cases and maintaining our partnership with J. Jenks."

A buzz went around the room as people commented on this news.

Unfazed, Mr. Lawrence continued. "Ms. Stanley, I want you and your planning committee to start preparations. I want a small office party to welcome the newcomer on Monday."

Jessica was already taking notes and hastily left the room to make some calls. Mr. Lawrence clapped his hands excitedly. "Dismissed!"

Leaving the conference room, there was a new, excited buzz about the office. I stuffed my head back into my folders and tried cramming for the rest of the hour but it was difficult. I kept getting easily distracted. I heard Alice on her phone text messaging Jasper. They did that all day and usually it didn't bother me. In any case, I gave up and closed the folder in front of me. I packed up my briefcase and gathered my things at a quarter to five.

"I'm gonna take off," I said tiredly, standing at the entrance of Alice's side of our office.

Her back was facing me as she typed a hundred words a minute, her keyboard rattling. Without stopping she replied, "Alright, have a good night, Bella. And it's your turn to bring in donuts tomorrow!" she called as I walked towards the elevator.

"Oh right," I said to myself.

Everyone usually volunteered to bring in donuts or baked good in the mornings. It was a nice office communal thing, each person taking their turn. With almost thirty people in the office, we were put on a rotating schedule.

I trudged to my car and drove home, wanting to settle into my comfy couch. Skipping most of my lunch break left me tired and a bit ravenous. When I walked into my nice open apartment, I threw my bags on the nearest chair and shrugged out of my jacket.

I lived in a simple one-bedroom with a decent sized living room consisting of an elegant micro-suede, beige couch and matching chair. I wasn't much of a decorator, so it was simple with only white and light blue curtains and soft beige carpeting. The few things I had hanging up were photos of my friends and family—though my collection was sparse. Renee had insisted on brightly colored eclectic throw pillows and I had to admit, they grew on me over time. I also had a small office, which I used to work extra hours and write letters.

As I brought my to-go coffee mug to the sink, I groaned. My sink was filled with coffee mugs and a dish or two. I drank way too much coffee. People didn't believe me when I said I really did enjoy getting mugs as presents. I turned on my answering machine when I saw the blinking light. I decided not to deal with my kitchen tonight and took out a frozen microwave dinner. I viciously stabbed a fork into the plastic and waited impatiently for those four long minutes.

"Bella!" I jumped with a yelp before I realized it was just the machine. "You haven't called me in three weeks. What have you been doing? Phil says hello. Your father called me because he hasn't heard from you either. How's the job? Any men in your life? You know you're turning twenty-five soon... I want to hear all about it." The message ended with an irritated click.

_Renee, my mother._ She was always full of energy and always _always_ wanted to talk with me on the phone—except she would usually be doing most of the chatting about her travels or Phil's baseball gigs. They traveled around a lot together and Renee loved every moment of it. I sighed and erased the message.

"Hey Bella." I smiled at hearing Angela's sweet voice. It was the very opposite of my mother. "How are you? Ben and I will be making a trip to Forks to visit our families soon and I thought it would nice if we stopped for a night in Seattle to see you. Call me."

I would call Angela before I dealt with my mother. Just then the microwave beeped and I sat down on my couch, eating and flipping through the channels. I contemplated what I would tell my mother about men. _Nothing to tell._ I hated when she implied how I was getting "old" and still single. I was perfectly comfortable though. I liked living alone, hanging out with friends, my job. I didn't need a relationship to complicate my already busy life.

~/~/~/~

The week went by fast and busy, just how I liked it. The buzz about the 'new comer' from New York gradually escalated and by Friday and that was all anybody would talk about. Jessica whisked around in her chunky platform shoes and low cut blouse, making sure everything was planned correctly for Monday. She ordered her lackeys in her high-pitched bark and they scattered amongst themselves like pigeons, giving lots of us headaches by the afternoon.

Alice peeked around the wall in her rolling desk chair at me and imitated Jessica dramatically. "John! I wanted real caviar not liver pate! Oh my nerves..." she finished, looking faint and fanning herself with her hand.

"That sounds just like her," I whispered through fits of laughter. "Maybe she got into some helium from the balloons."

Alice muffled her giggles and returned to her desk as soon as we heard the clicking heels nearby.

Rosalie tried not to like anybody, but I was pretty sure she did not care for Jessica at all. Her lips were in a tight red line of disfavor ever time Jessica and her committee started a ruckus of planning.

When her clicking heels were out of earshot, I peeked over the wall to Alice's desk. "So Emmett wants to go to Monty's tonight. Are you and Jasper in?"

"Definitely. We'll meet you there around nine," she replied cheerfully.

So with Jessica trilling and me trying to get the rest of my work done before the weekend, the day passed unusually quickly.

Later that evening I felt my spurt of energy that I usually had at the end of the week. I buzzed Emmett in from downstairs, tidying up my place a bit while I waited for him to waltz in (as was his habit).

"Whoa lookin' hot, Bells," he commented, looking me up and down appreciatively from my royal blue top, dark skinny jeans, to my black petite heels.

I grinned at him. "Well aren't we the gentleman tonight," I replied with a smirk, putting my coat on.

He chuckled with a bow and held the door open for me.

Monty's was a casual, relaxing bar with a dance floor that we went to every so often. Emmett liked to rotate, otherwise he wouldn't be able to meet any new girls he hadn't already been with. I estimated when he would have to leave Seattle if he wanted to find more new faces. Emmett was kind of a pig, but at least he didn't make any pretenses or false promises for something other than casual sex.

We sat at the bar, Emmett with a beer and me swirling my gin and tonic.

"So any interesting cases come up this week?"

"Actually yes. Now remember I don't mention names, and this one is kind of delicate."

He sipped his beer and eagerly leaned in.

"This one is a family and school district case. This married couple has an eight-year-old boy who believes himself to be a girl. His school system finds him to be a problem because it's confusing the other children and some boys have been beating him up."

Emmett's eyes widened.

"Yup. His parents knew he had girlish tendencies, behavior-wise, but things really broke loose when he started dressing as a girl for school. His school is unformed so the difference was really obvious. I'm not talking jeans and hair clips."

"Jeez, so what was the verdict? Was it something the parents did?"

I shook my head. "The parents raised him normal and they're very confused, mostly at their wits end because they couldn't break him of what they thought was just a habit. The boy told the judge that he really feels that he was meant to be a girl and he was tired of pretending to be like the other boys."

Emmett shook his head with pity and took a swig of his beer.

"So the judge, bless her, convinced him that he should keep pretending to be a boy just for school and then he could go back to his female appearance outside of his education. Meanwhile she also scheduled him for a once a week appointment with a shrink to help him cope with the rest of society."

"Man that's got to be tough for the parents."

"Definitely, I can't even imagine. Anyway that's the strangest one lately." I finished and sipped my cocktail.

That's when Alice and Jasper joined us and ordered drinks too. Alice was always dressed to the nines. Outside of work we were the silliest pair and she was one of my closest friends other than Emmett and Angela.

The four of us chatted for a bit, Emmett and Jasper making bets on winning sports teams while Alice always told funny work stories.

Finally Jasper nudged his girlfriend with a wink and they left us for the dance floor. Jasper was actually a very smooth dancer, twirling Alice's petite body around skillfully. I was on my third drink when I caught Emmett making eyes at a woman across the room.

I looked at the random girl completely coming on to him with her own suggestive looks. She was eating her maraschino cherry very slowly from her fruity cocktail.

"God, I almost feel bad her."

Barely listening to me Emmett replied, "Hey I give them no expectations other than a good night." He finished his beer in one drawn out gulp and made his way over to her.

Well that was the last of Emmett I was going to see for the rest of the night. I watched with a smile as Alice and Jasper laughed and sang the words to the music overhead. Someone replaced Emmett at the seat next to me and I turned my body away so they wouldn't try to start up a conversation. If you're not looking to pick up a guy then you definitely don't want to make eye contact. As ridiculous as it is, the guy will immediately think you want to have sex with him.

"I'll have what she's having," said a smooth voice.

I kept my eyes on the dancing couples while the bar tender handed him his drink. We sipped and I enjoyed the silence.

"So are you having a nice night so far?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes trained ahead in an effort to dissuade him

"Do you come here a lot?"

I continued to ignore him and concentrated on my drink. _Couldn't the guy take a hint?_

"That color shirt looks lovely with your skin."

I should have walked away, but I didn't want him to follow me. He needed to be knocked down a peg or two to get the hint that I wasn't interested.

"Listen pal," I turned angrily to him.

My little speech I had prepared died on my lips. I was faced with a painfully gorgeous man of bronze messy sex hair and deep green eyes. He seemed to tower over me. My gaze dropped down to his lips, perfectly shaped and smirking at me. Seeing my stare, his lips curved into a smile, crooked on one side.

My eyes narrowed and I put my face back into my drink. Unfortunately my glass was empty and I made a loud slurping sound. The man took out a money clip with bills and ordered another round of drinks for both of us.

"Don't bother, I'm not going to sleep with you."

He just grinned at me and tipped the bartender. I refused to be dazzled by his staring and smiling so I just guzzled my new drink down for something to do.

"'My name is Edward," he said and positioned his body so that he subtly leaned closer to me. This guy was smooth, but I knew all the tricks.

"Bella."

"I didn't expect a young woman to like gin and tonics."

Pleasantries and introductions. I could handle that.

"It's the only drink I usually prefer." I gratefully took another sip.

He turned to the side and drank deeply. I felt my eyes wander to the muscles moving at his throat. I looked away quickly and focused on Emmett and his new girl across the room for another distraction. I wasn't easily affected by men. Maybe I've had too many drinks already.

"I take it that guy isn't your boyfriend," he stated, following my gaze to the couple's shameless flirting.

I looked back to him and tried not to focus on his eyes. "No, but you better be careful, he's very protective of me," I threatened lightly.

He laughed a rich velvety sound and I couldn't help smiling a little.

He eyed Emmett's formidable frame of muscles. "I saw you sitting with him earlier and was still brave enough to come over." He flashed me a wide smile.

Now it was my turn to laugh out loud. "True, I suppose you do get some brownie points for that."

He finished his drink and ordered two more. I was starting to feel pleasantly relaxed from my alcohol consumption. "So you act like this is your first time to Monty's."

"Yes, it is. I recently moved here and thought I should check out the nightlife."

"And are you enjoying Seattle so far?"

"I am now," he said with that crooked smile.

I looked away as he carefully continued talking about the city more. We talked lightly about certain shops and coffee places downtown. "You should try the Palisade, it's one of the best seafood restaurants in Seattle."

"Would you care to have dinner with me there sometime?"

I turned to look at him. His eyes were dark emerald and intense on my face. His eyebrows were raised slightly and he wasn't smirking anymore. He appeared very genuine and I hesitated... I didn't want to start something or be let down and that was definitely a possibility with Edward. He was gorgeous, charming, and interesting. Tearing my eyes away, I rested my glass on the bar and hopped down from my stool.

He shifted in his stool and put his own glass down, confused and apprehensive. Instead of answering, I grabbed his hand and lead him on the dance floor. The music was blaring and we danced, keeping with the beat. After a moment he grabbed my swaying hips and brought them closer to him so our bodies were rubbing up against each other. My wide eyes met his amused ones. I decided I wasn't going down without a fight.

I smiled devilishly and put my arms around him and we continued swaying and grinding to the music. He was a great dancer, but that shouldn't have surprised me. He was probably perfect at everything. After several songs we went back to the bar for another drink, joining Alice and Jasper for a bit. We caught our breath and Edward ordered the four of us a round of tequila shots and we laughed and chatted about anything.

_Three hours later._

Edward pushed the door to Monty's open carrying me on his back and running down the street. We were laughing hysterically as the cool wind hit our faces.

We were extremely drunk.

Suddenly, he stopped running and I slid of his back. My legs were wobbly so I leaned against him for support and saw with my dizzying vision that we were in front a large skyscraper apartment building. Edward spun me around to face him and sank his lips on mine.

"I told you I wouldn't sleep with you." I spoke with glazed eyes.

"I don't plan on sleeping tonight," he replied against my lips.

I put my arms around him and kissed him back eagerly. Our lips moved in unison, the kiss growing deeper by the second as his mouth pulled mine. He tasted of alcohol, mint, and something sweet. We stumbled through the door and into the elevator, our hands continuously roaming over each other.

Somehow Edward managed to unlock his door and I was in a lustful, drunken haze that I could barely keep up. We burst inside his apartment and he shut the door, pressing me up against it as we continued our hungry conquest.

My hands slid to his neck, grabbing at his hair as he explored my curves. His tongue slipped into my mouth, causing me to moan against him. Our breathing grew heavy and I thought I would never fully catch my breath, but I didn't care. I pushed my hips into him and he groaned low in his throat.

It spurred something delicious from him. He lifted me in his strong arms that felt like a metal vice, never breaking the kiss and my legs wrapped around his waist of their own volition.

The inebriated fog clouded my mind that I acted on impulse alone. Edward's teeth grazed and nipped my heated skin as I clawed his back for more. We moved around the room, bumping into things and tearing at each other's clothes. Nothing else seemed relevant except to have him completely, inside me and all around me.

Somewhere in the deepest parts of my psyche, I allowed myself to unleash my instinctual need, opening myself up to the raw pleasure of his thrusts. Each of us tried to dominate without losing ourselves completely.

~/~/~/~

My head was throbbing painfully, even my hair hurt. I tried swallowing my dry throat but my mouth felt like it had grown moss overnight. I rolled away from the window not ready for the sunshine, breathing a sigh and snuggled deeper into the pillows. I inhaled vanilla, soap, and spice.

After a minute my eyes snapped open at the unfamiliar yet familiar scent in the bed. I sat up in a rush and held my head, wincing at the pain. My stomach felt like a solid weight of sick. I looked around at the sheet tangled in my limbs. I followed the sheet trail and almost gasped aloud when I found someone sleeping next to me. It was Edward, lying on his stomach with his arms cradling the pillow at his head. The sheet modestly covered the middle of his body and his muscled back rose and fell as he breathed in a deep sleep. I realized I was also naked and stood up shakily, still not sure how I ended up in this apartment, much less this bed.

I looked around and searched under the bed for my clothes. I couldn't find them anywhere in the room and started to feel rising panic. I tip toed out the door and my mouth dropped open at the sight of the living room. A blush rushed up my cheeks all the way past my hairline.

Things were knocked over in a vicious trail along the once elegant room. Magazines and books were strewn on the floor along with coasters, TV remotes, papers... the desk was the most disastrous with clutter and its matching chair overturned, and the black leather couch had it's cushions dismembered. Amongst all the rubble were our scattered clothes.

I lunged for mine like a drowning victim reaching for a rope. I put on my undergarments and jeans and then picked up my shirt to inspect it. It was ripped at the edges but I threw it on and located my shoes. I found one right away, the other was lodged under a couch cushion. Feeling even dizzier from my scavenger hunt, I crept to the spacious kitchen with black marble counter tops and the latest appliances. I picked up a glass from the drying rack next to the sink and filled it with water from the faucet. After chugging two large glasses, I grabbed my jacket that was caught around the overturned desk chair and my purse wedged under the kitchen table. I tingled with giddiness and another blush when I saw the buttons of Edward's dress shirt scattered along the polished wood floor on my way out.

The sun had just started peeking through the clouds and fresh air did me a lot of good. Once I figured out where I was, the twelve blocks of walking helped sober me up. I peeled off my clothes when I got home, sighing happily to be back at my place. Shower, a change of clothes, and back to sleep I went.

I woke up to a ringing and wrenched my groggy eyes open, blindly reaching for the phone on my night table.

"Hello?" I croaked.

"Bella! Oh. My. God. Tell me everything, I saw you leave the bar with that gorgeous man."

I glanced at the clock. Eleven in the A.M. _I guess it wasn't a completely unreasonable hour to call on a Saturday._ I sat up a little and made sure I was in the right bed this time. Stretching and waking up, I almost forgot I was on the phone.

"Hey Alice," I yawned.

"Well? Give me some dirt."

I groaned and tried to clear my fogged brain. "Um, well we left the bar and… walked to his place..." _Piggyback running and laughing._ My mind was still fuzzy. "We talked..." _I don't plan on sleeping tonight._ "And then we slept together and I left this morning."

I knew that probably wouldn't suffice. At this moment I immediately regretted spilling every horrific story of blind dates and one-night stands to Alice. "Details Bella. How was he in the sack? He looked rich too, I bet his place was lavish... is it decorated or does it look like a bachelor pad?"

"Aliiiice, I don't know, he was fine. His place was… fine." A flashback hit me of Edward ripping my shirt off and trailing heated kissing along the curve of my neck.

"FINE?" Alice snapped me back to our conversation.

I remained silent, thinking of some more appropriate adjectives.

"Oh my goodness you like him! You actually had a fantastic time!"

"Now wait just a sec, Alice—"

"You always have some flaw to complain about it. The guy snores, his eyes are too close together, he chews with his mouth open, etc, etc."

"Oh alright," I hissed. "He is unbelievably gorgeous, he looks better with his clothes off. I don't remember half of last night but the parts I do remember where the best I've ever had and I don't know what his apartment looks like because we crashed around it until we finally made it to the bed!" I exhaled a whoosh of breath.

Alice started laughing hysterically into the phone and I flopped back down into my pillows. "So there you have it, end of story."

Her laughing stopped short. "What? You mean you aren't going out again with this amazing man?"

"No Alice, it was a one time thing and I don't plan on seeing him again," I grumbled. My head was starting to throb again.

Alice sighed with disappointment though I couldn't imagine why.

"Anyway, I was sleeping."

"Alright Bella, I hope you don't regret not giving him your number. See you on Monday," she said cheerfully and hung up.

I put the phone back on the nightstand and rolled over. But I couldn't get back to sleep.

Another flashback hit me.

_I sat on his kitchen table as he stood between my legs, leaning into me. My hands ran through his hair and down his shoulders impatiently. His lips seemed to be everywhere, my skin was flushed and tingling with all the different sensations his tongue was giving me. My fingertips played along the indent of muscle in his shoulders as he shoved down the black lacy bra to my waist while his other arm supported my arching back. I moaned when he cupped one of my breasts, trailing his mouth lower. He became gentle, touching and nibbling at my taut nipples. My fingers dug into his hair, eyes rolling to the back of my head as a throaty moan escaped my lips._

I growled in frustration and grabbed the phone. Speed dial number three.

"What's up?"

"Breakfast."

As a tradition, Emmett and I got breakfast a lot when we had hangovers or a wild night—except I was the only one with a hangover this time. Our waitress was very attentive, constantly re-filling our coffee mugs and casting smiles after Emmett had looked her over like his next meal. He didn't even come up for air while I was still recovering from my excursion! The gap between the sexes seemed endless.

Emmett poured syrup over his large stack of pancakes and we munched quietly on our food for a bit. "You look terrible," he observed as he cut a forkful of pancake and shoveled it into his mouth.

I scarfed down my eggs and toast with equal gusto. "I know. You look fine, surprisingly."

Emmett swallowed his food and loaded up another forkful. "Well one, I can hold my liquor. Two, my wounds aren't where anyone can see them."

I made a face as he chuckled blackly.

He leaned forward. "Get this, I actually made her purr."

"Like a kitten?" I raised an eyebrow as he leaned back triumphantly finishing his breakfast. "She was probably faking."

At this he looked deeply insulted. "No one fakes with Emmett Chase," he said smugly. "And what about your night?"

I bit into a slice of toast and purposely chewed slowly. It was bad enough Alice already squeezed some details out of me.

Emmett just shrugged and went back to his food. That's what I liked about him the most. A person could just sit in contented silence and eat. No questions. No explanations.

I relaxed for the rest of the weekend and occasionally my mind wandered to sweeter things from that passionate night. Thankfully Monday morning rose with a bright sunrise and I was eager to get back to work. I sped through rush hour traffic and guzzled down my coffee. As I stepped out of the elevator, I soaked up the buzz of the office with soothing familiarity. I plunked my bags down on my desk and shrugged off my jacket.

Alice greeted me in the doorway. "Ready to get to the conference room?"

"Oh right, I forgot about our little welcoming office party," I said unenthusiastically as I mentally counted the stacks of files on my desk.

We headed through the double doors and down the hall.

"Where's Jasper?"

"He's being an office assistant. Jessica wants all the lackeys involved." She rolled her eyes.

Everyone was standing in small groups chatting and eating from the food table Jessica had tirelessly put together. There was even a banner with 'Welcome' printed across it. We walked over to greet Rosalie.

"Hi girls." The sultry blond looked down her perfect nose at us with an almost smile.

"Good morning, Rosalie."

"Morning Rose!" Alice chirped. Only Alice could get away with being informal to her it seemed.

"So I guess Mr. Lawrence is happy with how the party turned out?" she asked.

"Jessica is… astute." Rosalie said reluctantly.

I grinned.

"Speaking of... I'm going to go look for Jasper, he might need saving." Alice danced off, leaving Rosalie and I to small talk.

When I heard Alice's surprised giggle from across the room, I glanced over to see her with Jasper and—

A familiar head of tousled bronze hair.

The universe hates me.

* * *

**So, inspirational songs for the scenes at the bar and at Edward's place are Paralyzer by Finger Eleven and No Sleep Tonight by The Faders. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Twilight owns me.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." – Ernest Hemingway_

**Chapter Two**

My surroundings seemed to turn gray as that distinguishable bright bronze hair rose apart from the rest of the heads—like a giant bonfire on a cloudy day.

This was one of those moments when you want to scream, run, or fall into a hole. I could not do any of that. I was rooted in place by frozen disbelief. I tried to hide my expression from Rosalie, but too late. My initial and continuing shock was plain on my face.

But he hadn't seen me. _Yet._

Mr. Lawrence stepped to the front of the room and cleared his throat. That gesture was enough to get everyone to take their seats. When my feet finally obeyed my panicked mind, I shuffled to the back of the room, keeping my head down. Alice was sitting further up with Jasper and she kept casting surprised looks and questioning glances.

Mr. Lawrence put a casual arm around _him_ and beamed. "Everyone, I'm pleased to announce the newest member of our team at Lawrence Associates, Head of Department in legal documents... Mr. Edward Cullen!" Everybody clapped on cue, smiled in greeting, whispered, and the women batted their lashes.

This was like a bad dream.

"Alright! Let's get the introductions going, we've got a long day ahead of us."

Introductions? Damn straight this was going to be a long day. This bad dream was turning nightmarish.

Everybody stood when their name was called and Mr. Lawrence gave a brief summary consisting of full name and job title. I hoped Edward wouldn't remember any of them, including mine. My heart was slamming against my rib cage and I prayed that I wouldn't faint as I tried to control my breathing. I was uncharacteristically nervous; no one-night stand should end like this. Usually they just end.

He went through the office assistants, secretaries, managers...

"And this is Ms. Jessica Stanley, head of our planning committee." Jessica gave him a demure smile like so many other women.

"And Ms. Rosalie Lawrence, Office Manager and my daughter," he introduced with pride. "And her two Administrators are…" _I think I'm going to be sick._ "Ms. Alice Brandon." Alice stood and waved to him like he was already an old friend. I stood up shakily with my head bent down, my legs numb. "And Ms. Isabella Swan."

I slowly raised my eyes to his. Edward was even more breathtaking in his suit and tie, a model straight from Armani. Surprise flashed, recognition blinked, lips twitched at the corners, but he smoothed his expression quickly.

_Ah, those soft and well shaped lips._ They were all over me forty-eight hours ago. My face grew warm and I ungracefully sat back down.

Unaware of our tense exchange, Mr. Lawrence continued around the room. I wanted to slip out the door, but that would have been much too obvious. And cowardly.

Coming to a close Mr. Lawrence finished with, "So enjoy the rest of the food that Ms. Stanley graciously brought together and at half-past ten we'll get back to the phones." He sidled up to the smoked cheese and meats, eager to taste the assortment of fine catering.

As everyone stood and filed into groups like a colony of bees, I slipped out the door with weak knees and headed to the ladies restroom—the one haven that men were banned from.

Hell, I was a coward.

I leaned against the sink in front of the mirror and concentrated on breathing. And of course, Alice popped in looking amused and concerned.

"Bella, what are you—"

"Why me? I have the worst luck."

"Umm…"

"That was rhetorical."

"Oh."

"What am I supposed to do now? How do I behave?"

Alice just looked at me.

"That wasn't rhetorical!"

"Sorry! Well... if you want to pretend nothing happened two days ago then just say hi like this is your first time meeting him."

"Yeah right, that won't possibly work. I saw his face, he recognized me right away."

"Then acknowledge it privately so the two of you can move on."

I nodded, mulling this choice over.

"Or... you could _not_ move on," she suggested meaningfully.

"No way. It's called a _one_-night stand for a reason."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest like a parent losing patience with a child. "So then what have you decided?"

"Do you think Rosalie would mind if I worked in the bathroom today?"

She threw her hands up. "And what about tomorrow? And the day after that?"

"So I haven't thought my plan through..." Alice arched a brow and I didn't feel like arguing with her anymore. I would have to figure something out. I fixed my outfit and examined my face in the mirror. "Okay, I'm ready," I lied.

"Good! I want to try some of the food before its gone," she said excitedly.

I followed her out of the bathroom and we walked down the hall in silence. As she pushed through the double doors I veered left.

"Wha—Bella!" she hissed.

I made a beeline to my desk and was grateful that Alice didn't follow me this time. I plopped down in my chair and rested my forehead on my folded arms. Thoughts of _this can't be happening to me_ hummed like a skipping CD in my mind. I stayed like that until I heard people file back into the office. I jerked upright and pretended to work, logging into my computer and started typing.

Alice didn't say anything as she walked to her desk, but I knew she was staring at me and I refused to meet her disapproving scowl.

The office returned to normalcy and I concentrated extra hard on my work like a dedicated student. After two hours I couldn't take it anymore. Inside, I was simmering with curiosity. What was Edward thinking? What did he possibly think of seeing me again? Was he happy or just as distressed as myself? Does he think I'm a slut who just leaves people's apartments ransacked? I was furiously regretful that I didn't at least straighten a few things out in his living room. I honestly didn't think I would ever see him again... But now he was here and there was nothing I could change about that.

I shot up from my chair and walked in the direction of the Legal Department. Time to man-up. The anger was the real factor moving me forward step by step.

I brushed past his secretary, Lauren who was about to protest. I shot her a dark look and she immediately turned back to her computer. Richard's plaque was already replaced with his name. Without knocking, I swung the door to his office open.

Edward was certainly startled by my entrance and jumped up from his chair behind his desk.

"What the heck are you doing here?!" I couldn't stop the words from flying out of my mouth.

He sat back down slowly, never taking his eyes from my furious ones. "There's no rule or law that states that I can't work here. Did it occur to you that you're not the only one surprised?"

"Well you should have told me you were working here, yet you conveniently left that out of all our conversations on Friday."

"And what about you? You could have mentioned something about your job." He was much calmer than me and I realized I should do the same. I didn't want to have a heart attack in his office—that would have topped my embarrassment.

I folded my arms and huffed. "Well anyway, I just came to say I'm sorry about your... apartment. I don't want you to think I'm the type of person to make disasters like that and leave them behind and I'd like to just forget the whole thing."

He leaned back in his high leather chair with an amused smirk. "And why would you care about what I think?"

_Stupid lawyer toying with my words._ "I don't. But now we work together." My hands were on my hips and I towered over his desk. "And it's your turn to apologize."

He raised an eyebrow. "Apologize for what?" The condescending smirk played on his lips and I had the urge to smack him. He stood up and leaned across the desk until he was inches from my face. My lips involuntarily parted. "I'm not sorry for anything." His voice was low and his hot breath blew across my face.

I abruptly straightened, glaring at him. We stared at each other for a moment, his patronizing smile infuriating me by the second. I was angry that I let myself be affected by him so easily.

_Don't let Edward-freaking-Cullen get a rise out of you._

I turned on my heel and left his office, restraining myself from slamming his door.

Everyone loved Edward. Working with him, lunching with him, he met every expectation Lawrence Associates had. Judges trusted him, lawyers confided in him, women were smitten with him, even families gave him their "regards".

And I stayed in a bad mood.

Several times Alice tried to smooth things over and get the four of us to go out to Monty's again but I kept refusing.

"Aww c'mon Bella. Him and Jasper are buddies now and you're my best friend. We can just go as friends."

Friends? Impossible since Alice and Jasper were clearly dating! I shook my head for the umpteenth time. Ever since his first day at work and our second encounter, I avoided Edward like the plague and he made no attempt to talk to me again.

It was almost pleasant.

Three weeks later, I was in our little office kitchenette waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to brew. I tapped my foot, watching it drip.

Laughing and chatter near the doorway caught my attention. "Sounds good Jack, we'll figure out the details this afternoon." Before I was prepared, Edward strolled in with his empty coffee mug in hand. His smile immediately vanished when he saw me by myself in the room. Tension turned instantly thick. I ducked back to the coffee pot, keeping my hair in my face like a curtain.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Edward sighed every now and then and my foot tapped louder, my fingers drumming on the counter. My eyes followed the coffee drip hypnotically.

The clicking heels startled me out of my trance and I stood up with a jerk.

"Isabella, I need—"

"It's Bella," Edward corrected automatically.

Rosalie's eyebrow twitched, annoyed more by the interruption than by the correction. "Isabella, I need you to call the Lindenmyers, get them in here for a meeting next Tuesday." She walked out before I could reply.

I detached the coffee pot from the machine and poured myself a large mug full. Glancing at Edward, I almost smiled in appreciation for his correction even though we both knew Rosalie would always use my full name. He returned the smile so I conceded to filling his mug, too. But his smile turned into a triumphant smirk and I instantly regretted my nice gesture. I plunked the coffee pot back into its holder and moved along the counter to the cream and sugar, turning my back on him.

"Are you really going to ignore me forever?"

I didn't respond but the packet I was opening, ripped and the sugar smattered across the counter. I growled and huffed to myself as I tore off a paper towel to sweep up the mess. And of course I just had to be clumsy under his vigilant eye.

"Watch me," I answered through my teeth.

"Oh I will, Bella." I wish he hadn't said my name in that velvety tone or I might trip on my way out.

I shot him a scowl and he chuckled into his coffee and walked out before I could retort.

At the time I didn't realize he was really challenging me, but I should have. Rule number one: Never trust a man. Rule number two: Especially one who's a lawyer.

_If you didn't even trust yourself and you were a damned lawyer too then that was the biggest red flag._ But somehow I missed it waving in my face because I was so used to Edward ignoring me.

And I was just becoming comfortable with the whole thing.

Edward had gone out of his way to bother me, now. He frequently buzzed me for favors and errands, turning the job that I loved into a place I was beginning to dread. Hell, even Mother Theresa would be angry. I was still seething as I recalled the first occurrence.

I was going through another stack of folders, making calls, scheduling appointments, typing up closed cases, filling out reports for opened lawsuits, etc. My phone rang and I picked it up expecting a call back from one of the many voicemails I left earlier for clients.

"Hello, this is Bella."

"Hello Bella," said a voice of silk and cream.

"How can I help you, Mr. Cullen?" I asked curtly. Alice perked up with interest.

"I need to see you in my office for a moment," he instructed in a business-like manner.

"Why can't you tell me what you want over the phone?"

He laughed lightly and hung up. Now I had no choice but to go. Irritated, I pushed away from my desk and marched off. Alice was grinning at me from her desk. I held back the urge to stick my tongue out at her.

I knocked on _Mr. Cullen's_ door and he bid me to enter. He remained in his serious, professional manner as he stacked a bunch of papers together on his desk and handed them to me. "I need you to make copies of these documents and file them under their respective cases."

My eyes narrowed at him. "We have office assistants for making copies," I ground out.

"Yes, but these documents are important. I can't trust anyone else with them," he replied smoothly.

"You are unbelievable. Manipulating me isn't going to work," I said in hushed, angry tones.

"Then what will work on you, hmm?" His patronizing smile was back on his perfect face.

"Nothing," I replied confidently and crossed my arms over my chest.

He folded his hands in his lap, undisturbed. "Well then the way I see it, I'm in a higher position than you. I'm not Ms. Rosalie Lawrence but I'm still your boss too."

_Ugh, he got me there._

I closed my eyes for a moment to steady my breathing—and my temper. "Fine," I said looking up and snatched the papers out of his hand.

I knew after that instance it would happen again. After you let someone get away with something the first time, it opens the door to many more times. I was almost positive Rosalie knew what was up. After all, she was the Office Manager, but she never interfered with him. I wasn't sure how low Edward would stoop, but I would be damned before bringing him his morning coffee like an intern.

I didn't think I could loathe any one person more than I did Edward Cullen.

It was a Friday afternoon and we were thankfully closing up a particularly sticky case: a lawsuit against a man who was reported by his in-laws for beating his wife for years. Not long ago they had gotten pregnant, yet he continued to beat her once in awhile. The last time, he had punched her stomach and she ended up with a miscarriage. As if that wasn't horrible enough, the courts had been arguing about the age of the fetus because legally, after thirteen weeks the fetus is considered a life, but her exact date of conception is impossible to know by fact—only by conjecture. Therefore the husband could not only go to jail for abuse, but possibly murder.

This controversial crime made all the women in the office upset and the men feeling disgusted. Rosalie was particularly angered by it and we had been working overtime as Mr. and Mr. Lawrence were up to their necks in bullshit from the husband's lawyer about "inconclusive statements" from testified gynecologists. Reasonable doubt is a powerful thing.

By six o'clock we were exhausted and more than ready to leave work. Alice sidled up next to me on our way out. "So there's this new bar that opened up recently called Jupiter. Want to check it out and blow off this weeks steam?"

"Definitely. I could really use a drink after today."

"Ok, I'll meet you there at eight?"

"Sounds good, I'll bring Emmett. I have a feeling he needs a new scene," I added, rolling my eyes. Alice giggled knowingly.

When I arrived home the exhaustion started kicking in and I almost took a rain check on Jupiter. Almost.

So I decided not to go all out and dress up—hopefully this place wasn't too fancy. I threw on a pair of skin tight black corduroys, a red cotton blouse, a long silver necklace flowing down in between my breasts, and simple black and silver heels. I didn't bother with my hair and left it down around my shoulders.

I joined Emmett downstairs in my apartment lobby and we headed out. He wore the usual jeans and button down dark shirts, keeping his first two buttons undone. Emmett seemed to only care a lot about his hair—which was strange because he didn't have much—consisting of very short curls.

"Man I am so pumped for tonight! Can't wait to meet all the new ladies." He rubbed his large hands together excitedly.

"You're like a bull moving on to greener pastures," I scoffed.

He chuckled wickedly.

I smacked him in the arm playfully as we continued walking the next few blocks. Companionably, I caught him up on the current prosecutions at work. Emmett enjoyed all the boring events in my life.

Jupiter was a bit more refined than Monty's. It still smelled new, not like stale beer. And the music wasn't pounding against the walls, but loud enough that one still had to raise their voice. It was dimly lit with small lights at tables and colored bulbs on the ceiling. It was already a little crowded but I spotted Alice and Jasper and.....

_Damn it_—they invited Edward.

I swallowed the lump of anxiety in my throat. There was no foreseeable way I could have fun tonight. Oblivious, Emmett waved and started towards their table.

As we approached I gave Alice a sharp look, knowing that this arrangement had more to do with her than Jasper. "I didn't know we would be an odd number tonight," I said bitter-sweetly.

"Actually it's my fault. We just got to talking after work and they invited me along," Edward interrupted smoothly. Curse him for looking incredibly gorgeous in his black button down and dark jeans. His hair looked like he just rolled out of bed and mussed it.

Emmett motioned me to sit down before him and it was right next to Edward who sat next to Jasper and Alice was on the end. This was one of those large, half-circle booth tables so I would be sitting right up against him.

"Small bladder tonight." I feebly grasped for an excuse. "You should go in first Emmett."

"Naw, I'm probably not going to be sitting with you guys for long." He winked at me, not comprehending my facial expressions and eye-hinting.

I reluctantly sat down with as much dignity as I could, but made sure our bodies weren't touching. Then Emmett sidled in, his massive frame bumping me till I was squished up against Edward's solid frame. He smelled amazing. I looked at my friends faces around the table suspiciously and they all seemed to be concentrating extra hard on drink menus.

A waitress came over to take our orders, starting with Emmett who ordered his beer and the waitress moved onto to me.

"Highball." Whiskey was my calling tonight.

Edward raised a brow at me before saying, "I'll have the same."

Jasper ordered a beer and Alice ordered some fluffy girly drink of vodka and passion fruit.

Emmett reached over and introduced himself to Edward. "And how do you know everyone here?" he asked friendly.

"I work at Lawrence Associates with these three," Edward answered, keeping his face expressionless.

Emmett raised his brows in surprise. "Hmm, Bella's never mentioned you before. Well it's nice to meet you man."

I couldn't help the small smirk that floated onto my face.

Silence fell on the table for a bit. I kept casting glares at Alice who just returned them with a cheerful smile. Emmett was scoping the room like a trained guard. He nudged me on the shoulder and pointed to a brunette sitting at a table with some of her girlfriends.

"What do you think of her?" he whispered to me.

I observed her for a moment. "Nah, she's too easy."

"What makes you say that?" Emmett knew I was always right about these things, he just liked to know why. He enjoyed this part of his education.

"She's got a butterfly tattoo on her lower back. That's screaming for attention and it's unoriginal."

Edward chuckled beside me, his body shaking against mine.

"Don't mind these two, it's their little routine when Emmett is feeling undecided," Alice explained ruefully.

Jasper craned his neck to look at the brunette, receiving a light jab in the ribs from Alice's elbow.

"What? I just wanted to see the tattoo... it's interesting from an artistic point of view." He grinned and kissed Alice atop her head. "You're cute when you're jealous."

Alice replied by sticking her tongue out at him.

We chuckled as our drinks arrived, and clanked our glasses together in a light toast.

"Here's to you, here's to me, may we never disagree. But if we do fuck you, here's to me!" Jasper quoted eloquently and we all cracked up.

Emmett raised his glass with, "Here's to you, here's to me, here's to sex, when it's free."

We laughed harder and the guys high-fived in the center of the table.

"Ok I've got one. Be good and if you can't be good, be bad. If you can't be bad, then name it after me."

"Good one Alice!" I clinked glasses with her while the guys sang "Ohhhhhhh."

"Here's to being single, drinking doubles, and seeing triple!" I exclaimed proudly and every one laughed, finally gulping down their poison.

Edward clinked his glass to mine. "I second that."

I gave him a hesitant smile and we drank again. Before we knew it we needed to order another round.

"Ok enough toasts, I'd like to actually taste my drink tonight," Alice scolded in mock annoyance.

Emmett finally decided on a girl in a halter top dress sitting at the bar. "See ya guys next week." He winked and bounded off.

Alice and I exchanged grins. We sipped at our drinks, continuing to chit-chat.

"I noticed Jessica has been scoping you out Edward since your first day," Alice began with a sly look.

Edward barked a laugh, shaking his head.

"What, you don't want a pretty girl who's smitten with you?" Alice probed playfully. I wondered what the heck she was getting at.

"I'm sure most guys do. Jessica isn't bad to look at but her voice is whiny." He paused, letting the attention around him deepen. "Plus she's too easy. I like a challenge."

Alice giggled and glanced at me while my face flamed red. I slurped my drink. "You should have heard her around the office the week before you arrived. Squawking like a parakeet for your welcoming party. Asking her to plan something is like unlocking all the cages at the zoo."

We all laughed till we cried, imitating bird sounds.

When Alice and I wiped our tears away, Jasper looked down at her affectionately. "Ready to dance, gorgeous?"

"You betcha!" They scooted out of the booth leaving me and my one-night-stand-gone-wrong-to-evil-boss-to-downright-jerk alone with each other. _Alice, you are such a traitor!_

I concentrated on my drink and Edward shifted away from me now that we had room to spread out a bit more. However, he continued to face me as he stirred his drink.

"You surprise me," he started.

I looked up confused. "What?"

"You and Emmett. I didn't think you were the type of single girl that was chill with Emmett, well....another guy."

I laughed dryly. "I'm not any type of girl, but I don't know why that would surprise you."

"You seem uptight at work." He looked at me with amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Oh yeah, I have this boss Mr. Cullen and he's a real jerk," I said casually. If I was perfectly sober my response would probably have been harsher, but I found myself enjoying the night which didn't look promising when it began.

Edward broke into a real smile and I blinked back. "Maybe Mr. Cullen is mean because he likes you."

"Why would someone be mean to a person they like?" I asked sarcastically.

Edward pretended to look thoughtful, fingering his chin. "Maybe it's just an excuse to talk."

"We're talking right now and you aren't mean," I countered.

"Yet," was all he said.

"And why is that?" I was getting annoyed now.

"Your reactions amuse me."

I rolled my eyes with the last gulp of my drink and left the table. I didn't want to keep up with his game. I navigated over to the dance floor and meshed with the crowd, trying to lose myself in the moving bodies. A guy with blond, spiky hair and blue eyes danced over to me within the crowd, smiling. He looked rather innocent and friendly so I allowed him to keep dancing with me.

"What's you name?!" he shouted over the music.

"Bella!"

"Mike!"

"Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to dance with you!"

He showed off some dance moves making me laugh before spinning me. After a few minutes he shouted, "I'm going to get a drink, you want one?!"

"No thanks!"

Mike shimmied out of the crowd and I continued dancing, enjoying myself.

As the song changed, Edward appeared in front of me dancing along with me. When I didn't protest he pulled me in so our bodies were close and we swayed and moved our hips together. I had forgotten what a sensual dancer he was. It wasn't rough, drunk dancing like the first time. It was more careful and we were very aware of each other. Without fully realizing, I put my arms around his neck, feeling the silky soft shirt and his muscles beneath my sensitive fingertips.

The song ended, flowing into the next one and the music became slower. Couples began to slow dance around us and it suddenly felt like an awkward prom night. We both stopped and I stiffened in his embrace. I was about to release my arms from his shoulders when he pulled me close to him again and we swayed slowly to the music. I'd never danced to a slow song with him before but it felt good to lean against his chest. I refastened my arms around his neck and he leaned his head down to my ear.

"Sorry for being a jerk," he whispered.

"Forgiven," I whispered back.

"I'm not saying it will be the last time."

"I know. That's why I expect cupcakes on my desk Monday."

* * *

**Songs for this chapter are ****Around the Bend by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour**** and ****Go With The Flow by Queens of the Stone Age****. Thank you for the reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them." - Pierre Beaumarchais_

**Chapter Three**

Mondays seemed to be my significant day of the week—the day the tides turn so to speak. I ignored my emails, I ignored my morning coffee. I ignored these morning rituals at the office like playing hooky instead of going to school.

I snuggled deeper into my chair and propped my feet up on my desk because the only way to enjoy something sinful is to go all the way. I ran my index finger through the creamiest white frosting, slowly to enjoy the suspense. Edward was as good as his word, and did not skimp on delivering. That's right, a box of six cupcakes and from a high end bakery, not the kind sitting at the grocery store that taste like sponges. I looked at the dollop of frosting on my finger with triumph and then enjoyed it. My eyes rolled up in dessert ecstasy and I closed them with a moan.

"Enjoying yourself?"

I peeked an eye open to Alice standing in the doorway, still with her coat and bag on. I closed my eyes again for a moment, resisting the interruption.

"Ya know, people might get the wrong idea," she said with a grin as she dropped her coat and bag in her chair and half sat on a corner of my desk.

Instead of replying, I handed her one of these little cakes of heaven. She sampled one and moaned too. I giggled and continued eating mine. Alice got more comfortable and fully sat on my desk with her legs swinging over the edge like a kid at the playground.

"I'll never go back to low-fat sugar-free anything ever again," she sighed. "Where did you buy these?"

I finished chewing my last bite slowly and tossed the wax wrapper in the garbage before answering. "Mr. Cullen bought them for me," I replied casually over my coffee mug.

"Well that was very nice of _Mr. Cullen_," she said slowly and significantly.

"Oh please Alice, it's not like he sent flowers. Besides, it's called bargaining." I gulped down my coffee more quickly.

"Bargaining?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, I'm evening the odds. If he thinks he's going to keep treating me like his personal lackey and rule the day, then he's never dealt with a Bella Swan."

"You're going to teach him a lesson by gaining weight?" Alice eyed the box of cupcakes.

I laughed dryly. "No, the cupcakes were for his ego. Men always think gift giving will clear them of responsibility and guilt. And that's when I make my move." I felt like I was giving Rocky a pep talk at the boxing ring.

Alice cackled gleefully. "Genius. Or you can just sleep with him again and get it over with. That should relax both of you."

"That is not what this is about and for God sakes lower your voice," I said irritably.

"You two seemed to have a good time Friday night."

I glared at her, preparing my lecture. "Yeah about that Alice—"

"I hear the clicking heels!" She jumped off my desk and scooted back to her chair.

I angled my head. "I don't hear anything," I hissed with a scowl and I rolled my chair around the half-wall to her. "Nice try."

She grinned like a sly elf at me. "So did anything happen after we left Jupiter?"

_The four of us left the bar, stepping outside into the chilly air. Alice and Jasper were going in the opposite direction and said goodnight. I caught Alice wink at me as they turned to leave. I pretended it was more of a group goodbye so I ignored Edward and started walking in the direction of my apartment. He followed me at my elbow, easily keeping pace with me._

"_There's no need to feel obligated, I can find my way home." I walked a bit hurriedly keeping my head held high but my eyes scanned the path before me. Admittedly, I'd had a few cocktails and tried to my head clear._

_"Don't be absurd Bella." He faked a hurt look as if I had offended his chivalrous nature. "Your place is on the way to mine, I don't mind dropping you off." I couldn't guess how he knew where I lived._

_When we walked further from the bar and restaurant scene, it quieted except for cars passing and our footsteps. Normally I would welcome the silence between us but tonight it was more of an annoying buzz, making my ears strain uncomfortably. Edward did not initiate any conversation and I certainly wasn't going to either. I breathed a sigh of relief as my apartment building finally came into view. The outside lights quietly illuminated the street. _

_I walked up the steps to the front door and heard Edward's footsteps on the pavement follow. I turned around with the intention of telling him I was fine and he could go home now, but he was so close that I almost slammed my face into his chest._

_He looked down at me with amusement and steadied me with two firm hands on my arms. Before I could speak he leaned down toward my face and my breath hitched in surprise. I leaned away, biting my lower lip, unsure what a moment of weakness would mean tomorrow. His gaze dropped to my biting lips for a moment and then he leaned past them, grazing the bridge of his nose along my jaw slowly, light as a butterfly, leaving a path of sensations on my skin. I shivered as he paused right below my ear, his breath tickling my skin and whispered, "Goodnight Ms. Swan."_

_My pelvis fluttered and I swallowed nervously. Edward straightened reluctantly as his simmering eyes instantly changed back to complacent. He then smiled and walked back down the front steps. When my trembling body caught up with my brain, I jammed my keys in the lock and wrenched the door open. I shut it with a slam, my face flushed and my desires unsatisfied._

"Nothing happened," I said truthfully. I didn't know what kind of game Edward was playing but I was determined not to be played. I turned Alice's thoughts elsewhere. "In all seriousness, how am I supposed to behave around him? It's not everyday I rub up dancing against a coworker who happens to be higher up on the food chain than me."

"Well if you're that uncomfortable about the amazing chemistry you two share, then pretend the night didn't exist."

I ignored her implications. "And what if he brings it up?"

"Easy. Pretend _he_ doesn't exist," she answered with a smile.

To my relief, Edward did not bring up the night at Jupiter though he seemed even more smug than usual. I was sure he thought those cupcakes had buttered me up real nice and I would suddenly wag my tail whenever he sent me on an errand.

I found a deep satisfaction in enjoying those cupcakes as I plotted his demise.

"Why don't you just get a dinner bell instead of interrupting my phone calls?" I asked through gritted teeth. I had plenty of work to do and was agitated more so when Edward called me into his office on the next afternoon.

Instead of the usual "here's a task" "there's an errand" and me stalking off with a string of curses under my breath, Edward called me into a cluttered office that resembled a paper factory.

Ignoring my temper he just said, "Sit."

My lips tightened. "I'm not a dog."

He sighed and moved a pile of papers off one of the chairs. "Please sit down Bella. I need you to help me organize all of this," he said in gentler tone, his eyes softened slightly.

I stood over the desk ogling at all the piles spanning across the surface of his work area. "I think we need a second desk. What is all this?"

He smiled at my little remark and sat down in his chair. "Conversations." I sat down across from him in the chair that he cleaned off. "So start with a pile and we'll need to skim all these conversations and high light the ones that are dated August 23rd." He tossed me a highlighter.

I reached across his desk for the phone. Edward looked startled. "What are you—"

I had already punched in Alice's extension. When she answered I told her where I was and what I was doing. "I'm not sure how long this will take, can you take over a few things for me?"

"_Sure what do you need?"_

"Great. I need you to FedEx the briefing report for the Quinn case, the address is on my desk written on the pink Post-it note. And then can you call Joel Madison to confirm his appointment with Mr. Lawrence?"

"_Rose's father?"_

"The other Mr. Lawrence. That's for tomorrow."

"_You got it!"_

"Thank you," I breathed.

"_Haaaaave fun and don't do anything I wouldn't," she sang sweetly._

I made a face and hung up. Knowing Alice, there wasn't a whole lot she wouldn't do. When her and Jasper first started things up I would catch them making out or nuzzling each other in our office. I felt my cheeks burn a little at the memory.

Edward was staring at me, looking very satisfied. I ignored him and sat back down to work, hoping he hadn't overheard Alice's implications.

Edward would take a phone call occasionally but we worked mostly in silence. After awhile I glanced at my wrist watch. It was only half-past three, the hours moving at a snails pace. I tried to stifle a yawn.

Suddenly, Edward picked up his phone and dialed a code. "Lauren, can you please bring two large coffees to my office with creams and sugars. Thank you."

I thought he was ignoring me like I was him. "Thanks..." I muttered.

He laid his stack of papers on the table, stretched and loosened his tie, rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, exposing his forearms. My gaze wandered a bit to the well sculpted everything. Edward breathed a small chuckle. My eyes snapped to his smirking face, my expression souring.

"Why the hell do you always do that?" I grumbled in annoyance.

"Do what?" he taunted.

"_That._ Acting like an arrogant, egotistic, superior specimen of the male sex."

"Is that what you've been stewing about for the last hour?" His eyes were guarded and the smile didn't reach them, but it wasn't an unfriendly expression. I couldn't understand it.

"No, but you make it impossible just to be nice and friendly. And I'm not stewing."

"Nice or not—what does it matter? Men and women aren't supposed to be friends in any case."

There was a small knock at the door and Lauren came in with our coffees. She looked at me enviously, but she didn't know I would have switched our places if I could. I anxiously grabbed mine, letting the fresh roast dance over my senses. Opening a packet of sugar I protested, "Where do you get off thinking that?"

He took his coffee carefully and sipped it black. "It's simple. There's always the sex factor. It gets in the way of true friendship," he answered matter-of-factly.

"That's ridiculous. Emmett and I are the best of friends and we've never...we would never let it lead to anything else."

"Just because you haven't doesn't mean he never wanted to."

I blinked back with a frown and dumped the cream in my coffee. "Wow, she must have done a number on you." I shook my head, pitying him.

"Who?"

"Who ever she was that screwed your head up. Men and women can be friends without sexual tension. Just you and I can't be friends." I took a gulp of my coffee.

"Because of the sexual tension?" he quirked an eyebrow.

"Because you're a jerk."

We sat in silence for a bit sipping our coffee, shooting glares at each other.

"Is that even good?" Edward asked in distaste.

"Yes, it's the only good way to drink coffee. Clearly you don't want to keep your stomach lining."

"It's coffee in its natural form, the way it's supposed to taste. Your concoction is meant to transform it altogether." Extending a slender index finger, he pointed to my cup. "Whatever that is, it isn't coffee anymore."

To disprove him, I gulped the rest down.

~/~/~/~

I decided that looking for ways to get back at Edward wouldn't work because he usually had the upper hand. I also didn't want to be childish and leave whoopee cushions on his chair and super glue quarters to his desk—as tempting as that was. I figured whenever the opportunity presented itself, I would take advantage of it. Sure enough, two weeks later my opportunity came knocking in the form of Jessica Stanley.

I sat at my desk scheduling court hearings, trying to compromise on dates and times between the judge's office and Rosalie. The process was tedious until an agreement was made and by the afternoon things were finally settled. After that I headed to Edward's office with a folder of original documents he had asked me to make copies of and file. _The evil bastard._

His office door was ajar so I knocked lightly and opened it all the way to find Mr. Lawrence seated across Edward's desk. They were discussing a project so I stepped backward preparing to close the door.

"Hold on there Ms. Swan." Even if Edward wasn't my boss, his voice could still make me pause. With the beckoning of his hand, he invited me in. "I think Ms. Swan would be great for the job actually," he suggested, turning back to Mr. Lawrence.

Approaching cautiously, I wondered what Edward had just signed me up for. "That would be fine. Ms. Swan, would you like to work with Edward this week on putting together a presentation for the Rodriguez case?"

I looked back to Edward who was smirking like he had a royal flush at a poker game. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction and it was clear they weren't really giving me a choice. I heard Jessica pass by the doorway giggling about something to a coworker, and that's when the light bulb went on in my head.

I put on my most angelic smile and turned to Mr. Lawrence. "Actually I think Ms. Stanley would be perfect for the job. You know how good she is planning things out and I wouldn't want to leave Rosalie and Alice swamped." I batted my eye lashes for the added affect.

Mr. Lawrence beamed at me. "Oh that's perfect! Ms. Stanley would really bring some character to the project and win over the jury. And we don't want my daughter left high and dry..." he continued babbling and I turned my fixed smile to Edward.

"Mr. Cullen, why don't you buzz Ms. Stanley in right now and you can tell her the good news." I urged innocently.

Edward looked at me with murder in his eyes as he slowly picked up the phone. Mr. Lawrence clapped his hands together. "Yes! Tell Ms. Stanley - gracious girl she is - and I'll inform my brother of the good news."

Jessica came bouncing into the room. "You wanted to see me sir?" she asked eagerly.

Edward shot a glare my way and my smile widened. Before he could change his mind now that we weren't under Mr. Lawrence's watchful eye, I took the liberty. "Yes Jessica, I thought it would be great if you helped Mr. Cullen on a project this week. You're so good at organizing things and he's really going to need a lot help."

Her whole face lit up like she was about to meet Brad Pitt.

"Well I've got to get back to work so I'll leave the rest to you, Edward." Mr. Lawrence muttered excitedly on his way out.

As soon as he was gone, Jessica turned to me. "Thank you Bella, I'm glad you acknowledged my qualifications for the job this all sounds great! I'll need to see everything so I know what colors to choose, oh there's so many details we should talk it over at dinner, I won't let you down, Mr. Cullen." She left the room squealing and telling anyone who would listen.

I glanced back to Edward who had turned pale, his brow worried, his eyes frightened. The formidable, self-important Edward Cullen was cowering and at a loss for words! I threw my head back laughing uncontrollably. He snapped a pencil in half at his desk. The sound immediately sobered me up. His murderous countenance was back on his perfect face, giving him a dangerous look. I fought the urge to pounce on him in a fit of angry passion. Averting my gaze, I swallowed back a nervous cackle as I left my folder on his desk and strutted out of his office.

It rains in Seattle all the time but this week it was particularly bad; people were bulking up with trench coats and umbrellas. Not even the weather could put a damper on my humor. I floated to work every morning like a twirling professional figure skater in triumph. I didn't hear from Edward all week and I had a feeling Jessica had bolted the door to his office from the inside.

I almost felt guilty. Almost.

Alice tisked with disapproval, claiming that no one deserved that much of Jessica Stanley. But my resentment for Edward had been piling for weeks and my outlet came in the form of the most annoying gal in the office.

I had more time now to catch up with the rest of my work. My desk had started resembling a storage closet of piled folders and bankers boxes. Once I caught up, I even got to leave work a little early and get a lot of personal errands out of the way.

I hit the grocery store, eager to get a large trip done instead of my usual 'grab a few things for the week and scram'. I took my time reading ingredients, examining fruit, and envisioning all the dinners I wanted to make. The automated doors opened and the cold air rushed inside, disturbing my deep thoughts on chicken piccata. A familiar bronze head caught my eye.

Edward wheeled his grocery cart in and I almost died. I ducked behind the apples hastily and a few tumbled to the ground. People were looking at me like I was a crazy person, but I didn't care. _Why the hell am I the bearer of bad luck?_ I guess only living twelve blocks from each other we were bound to use the same grocery store... I poked my head over the fruit venue and didn't see him anymore. Fumbling, I picked up the apples on the ground pretending to buy them and smiled sheepishly at rudely staring customers.

I pushed my cart forward, casting furtive glances behind me. I decided to wrap up my shopping trip sooner than later and rounded the corner. There he was, his back facing me, picking a box of mac n' cheese off the shelf. I made a quick U-turn and darted down the next aisle.

"Hey!" an old lady snapped at me as my cart missed her by mere inches.

Suddenly, it was the perfect time to call my mother back. If Edward saw me he wouldn't be able to approach me if I was on the phone. That is...if he wasn't still furious with me over the Jessica thing.

After five rings I was about to give up when Renee finally answered. "Hi mom!" I greeted a little too anxiously.

"Bella sweetie! How are you? I won't say I'm not disappointed that you never call me but while I've got you here....." I let her prattle on as she updated me on every insignificant detail from her last meal to the neighbor's new curtains. I wheeled the cart through a few more aisles picking things out and tossing them in with less consideration than before. "And Phil might have a signing in Florida, I've already shopped for new clothes. They all wear the color salmon down there, don't they? And white wicker sandals! I saw the cutest pair and said to myself 'Renee you just have to buy those'..."

As I headed for the checkout, I thought I saw Edward a few lanes up waiting in line. "That sounds great mom! Err—what was the last thing you said? Um, I bet Phil is really excited." I tried to sound convincing as I loaded my items onto the conveyer belt. My mother wasn't impressed.

"Sweetie, you alright? Is it a boy that's got you all worked up?" she asked, sounding hopeful. A nervous giggle burst through my lips.

"Boys? Oh mom you know me…" I wheedled and glanced in Edward's direction. He bagged his groceries and to my relief, walked out through the automated exit. Before she could interrogate me I interrupted with, "Mom I'm in line at the grocery store so I'll talk to you later. Say Hi to Phil."

"Byeeeee!" she sang and I flipped my phone shut. I took a deep breath and smiled at the cashier. Maybe I wouldn't take long grocery trips anymore, or I would find another store further away from my apartment. The stress wasn't worth it, I contemplated, bagging my items.

Monday came up fast and I saw that Jessica had finally resurfaced. She was still smiling dreamily and I wondered if she had actually gotten more from Edward than just doing the project. I frowned at my lap and battered away my jealousy. I didn't want a man like Edward, arrogant, snarky, flirtatious, gorgeous...

But I didn't see or hear from him at all Monday. Or Tuesday. Or even Wednesday. I hated to admit it but I was starting to get worried that I had really offended him. Maybe after working with Jessica he was unable to forgive me. This is what I wanted all along, for Edward to just leave me alone, right?

If Edward hated me... for some reason that bothered me now.

I debated on whether to go to his office with some lame excuse of giving him a file folder. Then Edward's triumphant grin surfaced in my mind. _Hell no! I was not that girl._ I kept my ass glued in my chair and worked for the rest of the day.

"Something wrong Bella?" Alice inquired behind the half-wall. She must have heard me huffing or sighing.

"Nothing," I muttered.

Thursday came and I didn't expect much change. Edward was at the courthouse today. I settled into my desk with coffee in hand, staring blankly at my monitor. I did some work here and there but still felt spaced out. A hand waved in front of my face.

"Bella, what the heck is wrong with you today?" Alice was bent over, hands on hips, her expression full of concern and annoyance.

"Huh?"

"Did you see a three legged dog on your way to work this morning?"

I cleared my throat self-consciously. "No, I'm fine. What's up Alice?"

"I said, the museum is having an exhibition on Da Vinci's pencil drawings November twenty-first. You want to go?"

I sat up in my chair and flipped through my planner. "Can't. That's the weekend before Thanksgiving. My friends from high school, Ben and Angela are coming for a visit."

"They're the married high school sweethearts you've mentioned before."

"Yup," I confirmed with a smile. "When they visit their families in Forks for the holidays, they usually make it a point to see me in Seattle."

"Well the exhibit will be out for a month so we can plan another date to see it."

"Sure thing." My spirits already felt lighter. Alice had a way of cheering me up with simply her presence.

Suddenly, Jessica skidded to a halt across the room right outside of Rosalie's office in a panic. The commotion drew my attention and I briskly approached her doorway to see what was wrong.

"And he's already at the courthouse!" Jessica yelped.

"You better get there and deliver before Edward has to request a recess and wait for you," Rosalie snapped as she walked from around her desk.

"What's the problem?" I asked a little panicky myself.

"Jessica forgot to put this last presentation board in the pile that Edward took off with." She glared at the trembling girl.

"Give it to me I'll take care of it."

"But it's my fault," Jessica whimpered stubbornly.

"I'm the one that suggested you for the project. If you screw up, I get into trouble too," I bit back.

With a confirming nod from Rosalie, I snatched it out of Jessica's hands and scurried out the door.

"I just wanted it to be perfect!" Jessica's wail floated from behind.

I grabbed my keys and coat.

"What—"

"Later Alice," I called and ran down the staircase.

_Use stairways in case of fire or emergency._

This was an emergency.

~/~/~/~

I drove fast down the obstacle course that was downtown Seattle. I almost broke a heel off my Franco Sartos on the stone steps while balancing the darn presentation board and my purse. I must have resembled a sheep on its hind legs and a string of curses fluttered under my breath. _Why do court houses always have lots of stairs?_

I went through security screening and obtained which court room the trial was held from the personnel at the front desk.

"Ma'am, the court is in session," the guard at the door reminded me.

"It won't be for much longer if they don't have this." I pointed to the presentation board.

Wordlessly he opened the door and I quietly snuck in. The room wasn't packed but there were a few families and friends on the defendant's side. It wasn't difficult to spot the bronze hair sitting at the front with Mr. Lawrence. The other Mr. Lawrence—Rose's quiet uncle—sat in the first row. Other than the few reporters scribbling notes and some other businessmen I didn't recognize, there weren't a ton of people on our side of the courtroom.

I crept to a row and sat down behind Edward. He heard the small noise of paper sliding and looked behind him to see me push the board in so it rested against his chair with the others. When he saw me he looked very surprised and then understanding flooded his features. He gave me a quick smile and turned back to face the judge.

Maybe he wasn't mad at me. Maybe he had just been busy.

Instead of going back to work I decided I wanted to see the trial. It was a case on document fraud and the defendant was accused of making fake marriage certificates to get immigrants into the country. Mr. Lawrence questioned a few witnesses who purchased or saw a business exchange from the defendant. I didn't even want to know how many deals were struck just to get witnesses to testify for this. These people didn't want to give up their freedom here and possibly get deported back to their respective countries.

When the social circumstances were verified, Mr. Lawrence humbly announced, "Your Honor, my co-counselor Mr. Cullen has further evidence that these documents are fraudulent and is ready to question the defendant."

The Judge was perched up in her seat like a vulture. "Proceed counselor."

Edward gracefully stood, not an ounce of nervous sweat on him, and efficiently set up the presentation boards on a makeshift easel for the jury and defendant to view.

"Mr. Rodriguez," he started and pulled a few samples of the documents that were in plastic evidence bags from the table. "Did you create all of these?"

Mr. Rodriguez, a heavy set man with olive skin and black short hair resembled the elephant terrified of the mouse. He pointed a shaky finger to the bag in Edward's left hand. "Only that one."

Edward placed them back on the table and approached the boards. Jessica's work wasn't bad to look at, but the borders seemed a little frivolous. They were all black and beveled with a strip of color around the edge between the beveled angle and the white of the page. Every board had two photos on each. On the left was the real document and on the right was the fake. He pointed out distinctions between the two and then the similarities between all the fake certificates. "And here you can see the same line, off by two millimeters where—"

"Objection! Your Honor, how are these miniscule details relevant?" The defendant's lawyer, Mr. Scott had the complexion of tomato red.

"Overruled. Mr. Cullen I hope you have a point."

"And I'm getting to it right now," he answered cheerfully.

The defendant had beads of sweat breaking out on his brow by this point.

"Mr. Rodriguez, every artist has a style in his work. Every single one of these documents on the table has the same flaws, the same trademark, the same _signature_ if you will allow the term. We only have one witness who admits dealing with you first hand but the trail is clear that all of these certificates were made by the same person. So I ask you again Mr. Rodriguez, did you create all of these?"

"How in the—!" Mr. Scott blurted in disbelief.

"No further questions your Honor," Edward stated calmly.

Murmuring went around the room and Mr. Lawrence and Mr. Scott started bickering. Amidst the commotion Edward coolly packed up everything and went back to his seat next to Mr. Lawrence. He looked very satisfied with himself and actually winked at my awestruck expression.

The judge's bellow halted everyone. "This court is still in session! Anyone I have to reprimand again will be detained." She glared at Mr. Scott threateningly.

Silence fell on the room and the proceedings continued. Mr. Scott was losing his case when enough evidence was conclusive and other professional statements confirmed Edward's reasoning. The jury found Mr. Rodriguez guilty; he was sentenced to ten months in jail and released only under observation for the two years after that. Some family members were whimpering and sniffling on the other side of the room.

With a final tap the judge announced, "This court is adjourned."

Everyone stood up respectfully until the judge walked out of the room to her chambers. The rest of us started filing out as Edward and Mr. Lawrence shook hands and then shook hands with their opponent, Mr. Scott.

I despised Edward's arrogance, but I could see that it wasn't completely undeserved. He had a way of owning the room and his arguments were based on real reasoning from the evidence, not reverse psychology and badgering the witness like other lawyers did. I waited outside the court room, hoping to catch him up on his way out.

"A job well done kid. See you back at the office," Mr. Lawrence said in his deep, raspy voice and winked at Edward. When Edward caught my eye he bid Mr. Lawrence good bye and walked over diagonally down the stone steps, still carrying his things. The setting sun made his hair glow fiery tones.

"Thanks for bringing that last board, it was the most important one," he said, smiling a contagious smile.

"I didn't know that. I saved both our asses today I guess," I replied with wide eyes.

"You did. I didn't realize it was missing until you brought it. That's scarier than just forgetting it." He cringed at what the disaster could have been and ran a hand through his hair to quell the nerves.

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it. It all turned out well."

"Thanks to you," he reminded with reverence.

I looked away embarrassed and we continued walking down the steps again. I sensed a new mood between us. We were back on equal levels again.

"I'm sorry I paired you up with Miss Disaster Stanley..."

"I deserved it. Well not all of it. She is one determined flirt."

"But you survived I see." A smile played on my lips.

"Barely."

"You are so dramatic." I rolled my eyes at him, trying to not envision Jessica's brazen attempts.

"So I was thinking of how horrible it was last week working with her. I know you were on a quest for revenge but..." He paused.

I looked at him quizzically. I'd never heard Edward sound unsure with words before. "But what?" I urged.

"Do you really loathe working with me the way I loathed working with Jessica?" He was curiously staring at the side of my face as we walked.

I was thinking, choosing my words carefully because I was still confused about my own feelings. Instead, I answered with another question. "Why didn't you bother me this week? I thought you enjoyed tormenting me to death."

He looked frustrated by my tactic but smiled a little. Then he gave a one shouldered shrug as he was carrying the boards in his other arm. "Did you miss being tormented?"

"Why are you avoiding the question?" I huffed.

"Why are you?" he asked calmly.

"Well I did miss arguing with you," I replied sardonically.

He laughed deep and throaty at that. "Let's just call it a truce then. You're not bad Ms. Swan."

"Fair enough Mr. Cullen," I teased.

Edward had really impressed me today, even if he was a thorn in my thigh. We walked towards my car together as the sun set behind the foggy horizon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and gave feedback and in general, enjoys this story so far! So I hope you like this chapter, I admit I hit a few bumps in the road putting it together. The writing was easy but getting all these ideas to flow nicely was a bit of a challenge. **

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love." - Jane Austen, Nothanger Abbey _

**Chapter Four**

With our truce instated, _Mr. Cullen_ didn't demand errands from me anymore—well not as frequently anyway. But sometimes we worked on small projects or paperwork together and it turned advantageous to us both. He was able to avoid Jessica's further attempts to "work" with him and I got free lunches. A girl's got to eat right? We were forming a tentative "friendship", still in the rocky and vulnerable stages. Anything right now could make it or break it.

Some days our tempers got the better of us. I think mine was particularly heated with the combination of deadlines and Edward's patronizing smirks.

I thundered in, pacing back and forth in front of his desk with exaggerated hand gestures like a puppet. "Seriously, Edward! These documents for Lindenmeyer were supposed to be faxed thirty-five minutes ago and Rosalie is breathing down my neck and I can't schedule this meeting until they look over the entire report and why the hell are you laughing at me?!" I stopped abruptly at seeing the small smile playing at his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him and put my hands on my hips.

He muffled his laugh, grinning and slid a folder of said documents forward. My shoulders relaxed and I was prepared to take them when he stopped my movement with his index finger pressed on the folder. I raised my confused eyes to look at him only to see his other hand offering me individually wrapped chocolates from an elegant candy dish.

I looked him straight in the eye, trying to read him as I took a chocolate from the crystal dish. Viciously unwrapping the chocolate, I popped it in my mouth, chewing quickly. As I swallowed, I realized my temper had dissipated and I took a deep breath.

"Better?" Edward asked, already knowing the answer and released his index finger from the folder.

"Much. Now hand it over Cullen or you'll need a lot more chocolates."

"I'll be sure to keep this dish restocked." He set the bowl down gently.

Snatching the folder off his desk and hiding my smile, I stalked out of his office. I swore I heard his soft chuckle on my way out.

Despite the amused smirks, he knew little ways to calm me down—mostly with desserts—and he himself managed to remain level-headed most of the time. Aside from that project with Jessica, I rarely saw him frustrated and sometimes I wondered if anything ever made him angry. It was almost, inhuman. No matter what I was stressing about, I took the opportunity to barge into Edward's office whenever I felt like it and would grab a chocolate out of the candy dish on his desk. Then I would leave the room just as suddenly like I had dropped a letter into a mailbox.

It wasn't the most professional behavior I'd ever exuded, but the offices were so busy more than not, it didn't seem that out of the ordinary.

The know-it-all-Alice sensed my mood changes, too. She would give me meaningful looks and little satisfied smiles, but I was relieved that she didn't ask for details or interrogate me. Whatever was going on with Edward, I didn't feel like bringing in the rest of the world to see.

On a particularly rainy afternoon we worked in Edward's office with papers surrounding us. I had suggested we work on his floor because as large as his desk was, it just wasn't large enough for the mess. He was opposed to the idea at first because he didn't want to ruin his suit.

"Maintenance cleans the floors twice a week, stop being uptight," I complained.

"Well excuse me for caring about my clothes, this is a good suit."

I shot him a disapproving look.

"I'm not uptight," he grumbled as he slowly knelt on the floor across from me.

I was flopped on my stomach with my lower legs raised and crossed at the ankles, concentrating on a briefing report. Admittedly, I was working in a relaxed, informal state but we weren't disturbed most of the time. Legal documents were fairly boring and a necessary pain—yet Edward enjoyed studying them like he was picking the details of a Monet painting apart.

As soon as five o'clock ticked by, I looked up at the window. There was a terrible rain storm still and it was dark outside so I wasn't in any hurry to run into it. I was a little nervous as this was considered the after hours of work, a time frame we didn't spend together. For some reason, neither of us got up to leave and go home. Everyone eventually left the office so I kicked my shoes off. Edward also got more comfortable as he pulled his tie off and unbuttoned the first button of his shirt.

We were completely alone together.

I snuck glances at him and sometimes he caught me, giving me a curious raised eyebrow. Sometimes I would catch him looking at me too and we both buried our faces back into the documents. The silence was becoming uncomfortable as this new aura permeated the room and I was debating on whether to leave. I fantasized about what might occur if I didn't. _Grab him by the shoulders, locking my lips to his soft, full ones as I undid his shirt... He would push everything off his desk with one arm and take me sweet and rough. Our sounds would mingle with the heavy pattered raindrops against the window pane._

Edward stood, snapping me out of my day dream and I thought he was about to kick me out. He reached his computer monitor and with a few mouse clicks the room was filled with instrumental music. We grinned at each other.

"A fan of the classics?" he asked.

"My mother would listen to music like this a lot when I was growing up. I'm not an avid fan but I enjoy it," I replied with a reminiscent smile.

He gave me an odd look of contemplation. With the blink of his eyelids, the thought vanished. He walked from around his desk and joined me on the floor, lying on his stomach across from me.

I raised an eyebrow. "What happened to protecting your fancy clothes?"

He shrugged but didn't reply so I left it alone. It was like a perfect movie setting and I could just see a fireplace kindling and a dog sleeping beside us as we lounged on the floor working.

When another symphony came on Edward started tapping his pencil and highlighter like a drummer, keeping with the melody but still looking down at his documents in concentration. I giggled, completely entertained by this new relaxed Edward. Smiling at my reaction, he closed his eyes and started some light head banging to the music and I found myself humming and doing the same. We made a pretty ridiculous picture.

As the last violin chord hung in the air, we both opened our eyes and relaxed our tapping hands.

"I didn't realize instrumental music could be so... rockin'," I said, biting my lip with a smile.

"That would be Beethoven's first symphony." He chuckled and slowly shook his head at me like I had been missing out on an era of greatness. When I narrowed my eyes at him, he cleared his throat and bent down to his papers again.

All of a sudden my ears were assaulted with loud heavy metal music as a zip of initial fright went up my spine. Edward jumped to his feet to turn the atrocity off at the computer.

"Uh, sorry about that. I guess my computer switched to another playlist when the first was over..."

We stared at each other in stunned silence for a moment. The look of horrific surprise on his face was priceless. I rolled on my side towards him laughing uncontrollably. I was almost hysterical, a reaction from being so shocked. "Truly an interesting variety of music tastes you have," I said flushed and amused.

His jaw tightened like I had insulted him or he was embarrassed further by my bursts of laughter. "Now your reactions amuse me Mr. Cullen," I teased and sat up trying to sober myself.

"Are you almost finished?" he said, ignoring my jabs and rolled his eyes with a tight smile. I was sure he was referring to my laughing fit but decided we had been working late enough tonight.

I looked outside the window again, covering my yawn. The weather just wasn't going to let up and I would have to drive extra carefully tonight. I sighed resignedly and glanced at my wristwatch. Six-thirty. "I suppose. It will just keep raining like this all night." I stood, brushing the wrinkles from my skirt and blouse.

He nodded, fixing his tie reluctantly and put his coat on while I turned to slip my heels on. When I looked up Edward was staring at me from his desk.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I brushed along my lips and chin with my fingertips.

He paused for a moment before answering and I thought I really did have something on my face. "No, it's nothing. I'll wait for you to get your things," he replied, looking down to get his briefcase together.

I nodded and swept out of the room still readjusting my blouse. It was strange seeing the office empty with half the ceiling lights off. I hurried to my desk, shrugged my coat on and gathered my things before I met him standing at the elevators.

As we stepped into the cart both our fingers pressed the G button at once and we pulled back, laughing nervously. Then he turned to me and said, "Thanks for sticking around late tonight."

"It's fine. I'm sure we'll finish the report by the end of the week," I said lightly with a sidelong glance. His face betrayed nothing.

He nodded and we both lost ourselves in thought for a moment. When we got to the garage, we parted awkwardly.

"Goodnight Edward."

"Have a good night Bella," he said in a soft voice.

I gave a hesitant smile and turned to get into my car.

~/~/~/~

Sometimes at night I dreamt of Edward. They had started as flashbacks and fantasies from our first night together and I would wake up chilly from the wet dream. Then they turned into me banging his head with a stapler or getting the courage to tell him to make his own damn Xerox copies. Since we had gotten friendlier, I was trapped again in my sexual dreams, but they were heated foreplay and before we joined our bodies together, I would wake up surprised. Of all things, I had never been sexually frustrated before—let alone from my dreams.

I really had a problem and his name was Edward Cullen.

At work I hid it well except for the traitorous blushes that sometimes flooded my face. When he wasn't a jerk it was even harder to hate him and I hated that even more.

After another dream-filled night, I dragged myself to work feeling giddy and tired. I was typing up something for Rosalie and having major tunnel vision with my computer screen today.

"Having a good morning?" A voice cut in close by.

I yelped, accidentally knocking over my coffee all over my desk. I mumbled a curse and lifted my keyboard with one hand while grabbing tissues from the box nearby, trying to stem the flow of my utterly delicious medium roast.

Edward leaned against the door frame looking like a model posing for a catalog. He straightened and helped me clean up the coffee puddle. My face was warm with embarrassment and I was relieved he didn't crack some sarcastic joke.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't realize you were in the zone," he murmured with amusement as he tossed the disintegrating tissues in my small waste basket.

Alice poked her head around the wall, snickering when she saw who I was with and my clumsy mess.

"Ugh, it's my fault. Usually I have fair warning with Rosalie's clicking heels or you usually call me at my phone," I lied. _It was just you Edward, and my dreams having an affect on me._ I wasn't about to admit any of that.

"I still can call if you prefer," he offered.

"No! I mean no, its fine." I looked at my empty coffee cup in the trash regrettably and sat down in my chair.

"So what's up?" I asked, with a little more composure.

Clearing his throat, he asked, "There's this new pizza place that opened up down the street. Do you want to try it with me for lunch?"

My mouth hung open like a fish. I snapped it shut. "Yeah sure, sounds good actually," I answered brightly, pushing back some of my skepticism. Since the constant down poor of rain lately, I had subjected myself to more food deliveries and less grocery shopping and therefore, hadn't figured out my lunches this week.

"It's really good! Jasper and I tried it yesterday," Alice chirped as she continued typing at her desk.

"Great," Edward and I replied in unison.

As I neatly stacked some papers against the desk, Edward walked over and leaned down across me, reaching for my phone. His dress shirt lightly tickled my nose as his chest hovered in front of my face. Before I could stumble over my words, he dialed an extension. "Lauren can you get a large medium roast coffee with cream and sugar from the bakery next door? Thanks. No it's not for me, please deliver it to Ms. Swan's desk." He hung up with a polite click.

When he stood up, I instantly missed his scent of soap, fresh laundry, and vanilla smothering my senses.

"See you at lunch," he called over his shoulder with a smirk and walked out of our cubicles.

The days went by in a similar fashion. When we weren't working on projects together we still found ways of seeing each other during the day. The ways we behaved were so subtle at first, I hadn't realized we were setting ourselves up in a pleasant routine.

I was slowly storing all the new things I had learned about him in my mind. When I was annoyed he smiled, he didn't like waiting in lines, he didn't eat mayonnaise, really liked car commercials, never took medication if he could help it, and had six different laughs. So far I liked what I knew but it was a striking difference compared to the other two Edwards I had witnessed. First the provocative, flirty Edward at the bar, second the jerk boss who made my life miserable. And now this charismatic and witty, (still arrogant), but more approachable person.

~/~/~/~

We lunched at a nice sandwich place on a fine Thursday afternoon. The rain had turned into a light drizzle and wasn't smacking against the windows anymore. We pleasantly munched with our elbows propped up on the table. I had a mozzarella, tomato, and mixed greens sandwich while Edward had a roasted beef panini with caramelized onions. When I just about drooled he broke off a piece for me to try but refused when I offered a bit of mine in return.

"So how's Jessica?" I asked evilly as we settled into our meal.

Edward put his sandwich down and brushed his hands with a napkin. He clasped his hands together to the side of his chin and said in a high pitched voice of imitation, "Good morning Mr. Cullen! Is there anything I can get you today? _Anything at all?_"

I almost choked on my sandwich from laughter.

He glared at me and picked up his sandwich to resume eating. "Sometimes I find heart shaped cookies on my desk in the mornings. I swear Lauren is in on it, letting Jessica into my office before work starts," he grumbled in between bites.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Don't tell me anymore, my stomach hurts from laughing and I don't want to throw up my lunch," I pleaded between giggles.

"It would serve you right for making sport of my misery," he said sternly, fighting a smirk.

I narrowed my eyes at him as I chugged my coke.

He changed the subject conversationally. "So what are you going to be for Alice's Halloween party?"

Since Lawrence Associates had an annual Christmas party, Alice threw a Halloween party for everybody instead. "Not sure. Last year Alice and I were flapper girls but this year I want to do something totally different and more adventurous. Maybe I'll try out a super-heroine or some mythical creature this year."

"What, like from comic books?"

I nodded happily.

"I would be selective if I were you, not all super-heroes are grand. Superwoman would be attractive, but Aqua girl is just stupid," he pointed out.

I nodded trying to keep up. "I could be Spidergirl too..."

"What! Spidergirl is lame. She's just a knock off of Spiderman for women that want to steal male heroism."

"That is so not true. I'm sure Spidergirl's missions are just as valid," I retorted sourly.

He just rolled his eyes with another bite of his sandwich.

"Chauvinist..." I muttered under my breath.

"Feminist," he countered, grinning at my scowl. "What about Cat Woman," he ventured.

"A villain? Ha ha nice try. Well what about you?"

"I haven't settled yet. A superhero sounds good, but I'm a bit old fashioned for that," he said thoughtfully.

"I think you would look great as a vampire."

"You mean Dracula with the widows peek and cape?" he asked horrified.

I laughed. "No, a modern day vampire who finds his prey at clubs and on the streets."

"And you can be my next victim?" he teased.

"Not a chance, I would be the Slayer that would hunt you down," I boasted and took another bite.

He chuckled darkly as if he were secretly hoping for that.

Later that evening I invited Emmett over for dinner. He didn't have a woman to cook for him and I shuddered to think what he made for himself at his bachelor pad. He was just like my father Charlie in that respect. Half-way through high school I lived with Charlie in Forks and was appalled that he lived off of steak from the local restaurant or whatever fish he caught on the weekends. Though I was only a junior at the time, I rolled up my sleeves and prepared to convert his diet.

Emmett sat on my couch watching a football game while I stirred the meat for the enchiladas I was cooking tonight. Once in awhile Emmett would shout at the TV and I giggled at his seriousness over a silly game. I was never interested in sports but Emmett said I had enough stubbornness for an entire football team and if I didn't I would argue my way into winning the game. I didn't think I was _that_ bad.

After arranging the enchiladas in a baking dish with cheese, I joined Emmett on the couch and he put his arm around me. I took the opportunity to steal the remote and flipped the channel to watch _Bridezillas_.

"Geez Bella, are you trying to torture me before we eat?"

"It's fun to watch reality shows. Don't they make you feel better about your own normal life?"

"Well... yeah but this one just reminds me why I'll never settle down," he said with a shudder.

I laughed. "That makes two of us."

It was total white trash, but we couldn't resist the drama. We watched intently, waiting for the next outbreak of hormones, whining, and demanding from the bride to be. Emmett watched anxiously for two women to get into a cat fight, ripping dresses off each other and such. A guy could always hope.

"Emmett?"

"Yeah?" he asked distractedly.

I turned to face him. "Can men and women be friends?"

He boomed a laugh and my shoulders shook with the movement of his broad chest. "What the hell have we been doing for the last three years?" he asked incredulously.

I tried not laughing at the ridiculousness of my question and scrunched my eyebrows in concentration. "No, it's just one of my bosses at work, you remember Edward right?"

He nodded, still looking confused as to my point.

"He said men and women couldn't really be friends because... there's always the sex factor. Have you ever felt that way about me?" I probably wanted to die as much as Emmett right about now.

He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and took his arm out from around me. He looked like a guilty school boy squirming under my inquisitive, innocent brown gaze.

"Maybe at first… on occasion, I mean Bella you're one good lookin' woman. Beautiful face, slender and curvy, and a killer attitude." Then his eyes narrowed and he wagged one of his sausage fingers at me. "But you listen here, I would never disrespect you like that, you're my best friend and I'd rather have your friendship than a one-night stand. Don't you forget that," he said sternly.

I smiled genuinely at Emmett's serious face—which was slipping by the second.

"I know Em, don't worry. I was just curious." _Curse Edward to the fiery pits of hell._ "Dinner's ready, why don't you come to the kitchen now."

Emmett had a one track mind when it came to food and women. With the previous conversation forgotten, he rubbed his belly happily and bounded into the kitchen behind me. We loaded our plates and topped it with sour cream and extra salsa. I switched the football game back on and we propped our feet on the coffee table.

Chewing, he loaded a second large forkful, which was the equivalent of three of my bites and sighed loudly. "Man, this is excellent. If I ever do settle, may she cook as well as you do."

"Aww shucks Em, that's sweet," I sang.

He chuckled and we turned our attention to the game, eating happily and sipping our beers. I only half listened as thoughts gnawed at my mind.

So Edward's theory had been proven right. I could kill him for making me paranoid about every guy friend I had now. In spite of our newfound friendship, if he was completely right, did that mean he fantasized about me the way I still did him?

~/~/~/~

The elevator doors parted and I stalked to my desk holding a box of donuts (today was my turn) only to find Alice and Jasper together in an intimate moment. Alice was sitting at her computer with Jasper leaning over from behind and resting his chin on her tiny shoulder.

"Picking out china patterns?" I asked sarcastically from the doorway.

Jasper immediately straightened, but didn't move from his spot and squeezed her shoulders affectionately.

"We're looking at Halloween costumes online for ideas. Alice wants us to look authentic," he answered with a smile.

She turned to look at him over her shoulder. "Plus, I already picked out our china patterns," she crooned.

We laughed at Jasper's startled and uneasy expression. I offered them each a donut, which they greedily accepted.

"What are you two going to be this year?" I asked as I slumped my things on my chair.

"A classic Hollywood couple! We're leaning towards Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn from _Funny Face_. With Jasper being a smooth dancer it seemed fitting, though I don't think I can pull off Ginger Rogers or Judy Garland in Fred Astaire's other movies," Alice rambled on cheerfully.

"No, it sounds perfect actually," I said with a huge smile.

"What about you, Bella?" Jasper asked.

"I keep switching between super-heroine or mythical creature," I answered wearily.

At the same time they each shouted, "Superhero!" was Jasper's deeper voice. "Mythical creature!" Alice squealed.

We all laughed and I slowly shook my head at them. "Well that narrows it down."

"Oh, Bella I have the perfect idea for you! A fairy!" She just about jumped up in her chair, almost knocking her head into Jasper's chin.

"That's random…" I started.

"Not at all! Fairies do good things for people like super-heroes. Plus, don't you want to look glamorous instead of butch? It'll be perfect," she stated like this was obvious to everyone else except me.

I don't know, Alice…" I said hesitantly. I knew Alice could get carried away as I remembered our past shopping trips. Truly tiresome.

"I'll take care of it! You won't have to worry about a thing!" she declared.

"Umm—"

"I won't have you coming to my party in a half-assed costume or a cheap one-piece from Party City," she shrieked.

I put my hands up in surrender. "Okay, chill out Alice, this obviously means more to you than it does to me," I reassured her.

"Yes!" She clapped her hands, already in planning mode and not the least bit offended by my less than enthusiastic reactions.

I rolled my eyes while Jasper snickered fondly, looking on.

"Oh also, I gave Rosalie a special invitation. I hope having your boss there doesn't make you feel uncomfortable," she hedged.

"She's your boss too," I reminded her. "And since you already invited Edward I'm sure I can deal with another one of my bosses being there." I scowled and sat in my chair with a heavy sigh.

Speak of the devil, Edward came strolling in with two cups of coffee. He handed me the one filled with cream and sugar as he sipped his black one, leaning against the doorway.

My eyes followed up his navy slacks, to the thin knit gray sweater over his white dress shirt, to his disheveled hair and intense green eyes. I cleared my throat self-consciously and held up the box of donuts to his face. "Want to pick one before I bring them to the kitchen?"

He smiled and concentrated on deciding which one to choose, which made me laugh because they were all the same. Finally he chose one and took a delicate bite. "Thanks. How's your morning so far?"

"It hasn't even started yet but so far so good," I said, raising the cup of steaming coffee to my lips.

We heard a polite cough nearby from Jasper. Forgetting that they were still there, we turned to face them. Jasper raised his eyebrows questioningly while Alice grinned.

"It's a friend thing we do now," Edward said casually. I stifled a laugh, creating ripples along the coffee's surface.

"So, what are you being for Halloween?" Alice asked, preparing to critique his choice.

"My secret," he said over the brim of his mug, watching my friend with his green cat-like eyes.

"Then I'm not telling you what I have planned for Bella!" she shot back deviously.

Edward looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "No more superhero stuff?"

Before I could answer, Alice shot a slender finger out in warning. "Don't say a word Bella!"

I shrugged. "Couldn't if I wanted to. I don't even know what you have planned," I mumbled, though Alice wasn't listening to me anymore as she turned her attention to Edward's now innocent expression.

She folded her arms with a smirk. "Just don't half-ass it Cullen, the parties I throw are always spectacular."

"That's _Mr. Cullen_ to you," he corrected in a fake, stern tone. He winked at me on his way out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all very much for the reviews, it keeps me writing this :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." - Carl Jung_

**Chapter Five**

Alice practically kidnapped me all weekend for costume fittings. I stood still, reading the newspaper as Alice compared color swatches to my skin and took minor measurements..

"Okay Bella, say goodbye to the newspaper for now. I need to figure out the sleeves of your dress."

"What exactly are you doing?"

"I'm going to buy a nice dress and then alter it with pretty fabrics. You're not going to be at the prom, this is a fairy costume," she added in answer to my questioning brow.

"Is all this work really necessary?"

Alice looked at me through the mirror. "What a silly question. If I didn't go into law, I would have studied fashion design. So humor me," she said with a final tug of her measuring tape.

"How much do you need for the dress?"

She scoffed. "Don't you worry about the money; you can repay me by not making a fuss and being my guinea pig."

"Just don't go too over the top," I said, feeling a little bit scared by the gleam in her eyes.

She also took me to this shop where people buy and rent costumes for plays and movies. It was a small store across town that smelled like moths and potpourri. But it really had tons of everything: clothes and accessories from almost every decade since Roman times. Alice led me to one of the walls filled with numerous masks.

"So look carefully, think it through, and choose a mask that you adore," she instructed before disappearing further into the shop.

I stood alone, observing the countless masks. Some were too frilly and some were too plain, some ghoulish and some dainty. I went through them, touching and trying on. After almost twenty tries I picked one that caught my eye. It had blue and silver glass jewels with white pearls embedded and small white swan feathers fanned the edges. It was beautiful. I tried it on, adjusting it to my face. Luckily I could see through the eye holes since it covered from my forehead to cheekbones. I pulled it off carefully and admired the jewels and details. Then I flipped it over for the price and gasped. Two hundred dollars. I groaned, thinking of how many sweaters I could buy instead.

Just then Alice approached me, looking around my shoulder. "Oh that's a beauty." She was carrying several accessories and jewelry, including a pair of suspenders which I assumed were for Jasper.

"I know, isn't it? But it's so expensive."

"I'll take care of it." Alice tried grabbing it from me but I shot my hand out of her reach.

"Don't be ridiculous," I scolded. I gathered my dignity and went to the counter to pay for it myself. I just tried not thinking of the dent in my checking account as the transaction went through.

~/~/~/~

As the work week went by, people were getting excited about Halloween. It wasn't just the holiday in particular that was exciting for adults, but it was the start of many holidays to come. Before one knew it they were hit with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then New Years. Luckily this year Halloween was on a Friday—this Friday in fact—and some children came to work with their parents. Most of the day they would stay in the play lounge we had downstairs while someone was paid to keep an eye on things—or parents would occasionally volunteer and chit chat. Every couple of hours they would come upstairs to greet us, all dressed in the cutest costumes.

The first time, I watched from afar as their little parade filed out of the elevator. Edward approached them with a giant bowl of candy, squatting down at their eye level and asking them their names. They were shy at first, but warmed up to him almost immediately. Some even pulled on his tie or asked for second helpings of candy.

I felt my chest flutter and my throat tighten at the adorable sight. I heard someone stand next to me and glanced to see Rosalie with crossed arms, staring at the scene, too.

"Just when you think he's a callous jerk, he shows his soft spot for children," she murmured thoughtfully.

It was interesting that Rosalie was the one to make this observation to me. Nevertheless, I nodded, looking on.

As usual, Mr. Cullen was loved by all of his coworkers and took full advantage of this as he went around the office giving out candy from his large bowl. Several of the women—both single and married—would reach for candy only to expose their cleavage or slowly draw pieces of chocolate to their lips in hopes of catching his eye. How shameless!

I critically examined my brown turtleneck sweater and hair thrown up into a messy bun.

"Candy for a pretty woman?"

Edward leaned the bowl out towards me. I gave him a skeptical look as I reached for the candy. As he was about to pull away I grabbed more handfuls.

"You don't want to put pounds on Swan, how will you ever fit into your costume?" he taunted with a raised eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"This is for the large man-child that eats my food weekly," I replied scornfully.

"Now is that any way to talk about your best friend?" he asked, pretending to be affronted.

"You and I both know Emmett is most definitely a large child when it comes to food." I scowled and opened my fist to let the candy rain down into my purse.

He retracted the bowl. "At least save some for the children."

"Since when did you become so good with children anyway?" I asked suspiciously and folded my arms across my chest.

"You think I'm good with children?" he teased.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to my computer.

He set the bowl down on a table nearby and leaned against the corner of my desk. I looked up startled by his sudden close proximity. "My father died at a young age and I remember how I felt. I guess that just makes me want to be extra nice to children." His voice lowered with each word, letting me in on more personal information. "All of them are young and innocent, so they haven't tasted the bitterness in this world yet." He started to drift off into his own thoughts.

I stared at him interestedly. He didn't look sad or troubled in the slightest, but he seemed sincere.

"I'm sorry about your father, I didn't realize—"

He stopped me with a raised hand. "I'm not looking for sympathy. My mother is happily remarried. Your frowns just drew a seriously honest answer from me."

"I'll be sure to frown at you more often then," I stated.

"Is that a challenge?" He straightened with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"There will always be a challenge where I'm concerned, _Mr. Cullen_," I replied, reaching for the pen I had stuck in my bun earlier and prepared to get back to work. I tugged and fumbled as the pen knotted further into my hair.

Edward sighed and reached over me. "Let me see," he offered, attempting to retrieve the pen. My eyes glanced up to his lips that were hovered near my forehead as he leaned in front of me. I gulped nervously and focused on the flowery pattern of my tissue box on my desk. "This is a snarled mess you've created." I heard the smile in his voice.

I turned as if the movement would allow me to see the back of my head.

"Hold still," he said sharply, lightly batting my hands away.

I sighed impatiently but sat still like an obedient child. His expression turned more frustrated by the second, but his fingers were very gentle as he tried not to hurt my scalp.

After a few moments he softly said, "There," and triumphantly extracted my pen.

Looking up at his grin, my toes curled. I needed to diffuse this sudden closeness. "Why thank you, oh noble sir. Now I can write to my heart's content." I exhaled happily in sweet, sarcastic tones.

Catching my sarcasm, his grin evaporated and his green eyes narrowed. "I hear birds look for new homes when the winter kicks in, your hair should suite nicely for them. Oh wait, I think I hear them coming now." He angled his ear towards the window with a wicked grin.

My hair was a straggly tumble of brown knotted tresses coming undone from the elastic. I glowered and threw a piece of candy at him before fixing my hair.

He looked down at the mini Snickers bar that fell to his lap, scooped it up and threw it back at me.

"Why you…" I growled and threw it back at him with a bit more force.

He had long since left the corner of my desk and effortlessly dodged it.

Still midair, it hit Alice's chest instead as she happened to be in the doorway at that precise moment with a fresh cup of coffee. It slid down her blouse as she tried grabbing at it. "Just what is going on here?" she gasped appallingly.

Edward childishly pointed an accusing finger at me.

Surprise crossed my face and I put my hands on my hips indignantly. "Mr. Cullen has very ungentlemanly manners."

"Ms. Swan is a poor excuse for a damsel in distress," he said pointedly and eyed the pen in my hand.

"Bella, we have a meeting with Rosalie now so finish up the flirting. Edward, I'll take two _KitKats_ but I politely decline your other _attentions_." She fought a smile, fishing the piece of candy out of her shirt.

Edward gathered the candy bowl wordlessly, offered the _KitKats_ to Alice politely, which she accepted graciously, and left our office. I watched his retreating form and noticed that his shoulders were shaking with laughter.

And so the day went as such. When I heard the children visit, I dropped everything and wheeled my chair to the doorway of my office just to catch a glimpse of Edward giving out more candy to them. Parents approached with smiles and questions about their day, but they always went to Edward before and after.

Alice sat at her desk typing away and sighing. "I can't wait to have children," she confessed dreamily. "Then I can design all their costumes and send them off to Edward." She paused with another dramatic sigh. "They'll be so happy and I can have the night off."

I laughed loudly, eyeing Edward with Alice's newly painted picture in mind.

A tiny hand tapped his shoulder and he looked down at a little zombie. The boy had his mask pulled up so that it rested on the top of his head. Edward leaned down to the boy's small, beckoning hand and whispered in Edward's ear. I saw his lips move and he pointed to me with his little finger.

Edward processed the information and glanced back at me while he answered the boy's words. Edward almost appeared… _shy_ and gave me a peculiar look.

I pushed off the wall with a foot and skidded back to my desk, almost knocking things over in the process. I wondered what the little boy was saying about me and it suddenly made me uneasy. Children were highly perceptive about people.

The day went on busily and I didn't get a chance to ask Edward about it. I was also feeling nervous about what Alice had planned for me tonight.

By the end of the afternoon, people packed up their things as children came pouring out of the elevator, hyper from their hourly candy visits.

As I was gathering my coat and bag together Alice said, "Don't forget Bella, you need to be at my apartment by six o' clock to get ready." Her tone brooked no argument so I nodded resignedly. She gave me a satisfied smile as she skipped over to Jasper and they walked to the elevators together.

"Ready for tonight?" An amused velvety voice called from the door way.

I looked up and shrugged my coat on. Edward had his coat and briefcase with him. "If you mean ready for Alice's torture then no, I'm not ready." I grimaced with a sigh.

Edward laughed and I smacked him in the arm lightly. "Seriously, you don't know how Alice can get. I'm actually afraid." I gathered my bags and we walked to the elevators together.

"You're right, I don't. But I have several scenarios running though my head already." He put a finger to his chin in thought. "Giant chicken suite? An 80's get-up? Zombie prom queen?"

I laughed nervously. "Okay stop, now you're trying to freak me out on purpose."

"She's your friend, I'm sure she won't do anything too terrible to you," he reassured, still looking highly amused. "If it doesn't work out you can always scotch tape green balloons all over yourself and come as a twig of grapes."

"Ha ha, if that's the best suggestion you've got, I think Alice has one up on you. She's too classy to let me get away with that."

He chuckled in agreement. "If any of my guesses become your reality, I promise to join you in drinking away your sorrows."

The last few times I drank with Edward led to naughty, dangerously seductive situations. "You still haven't told me what your costume is yet."

He shrugged and it was clear he wasn't about to disclose any information.

I hit the G button and grumbled.

"I'm curious to see what everyone else will be. You know Alice invited almost the entire office." His smooth change of subject succeeded in distracting me.

"Are you serious?"

"Pretty sure." Edward's nose wrinkled with his next words. "Jessica would have found a way to attend even if she wasn't invited. She overhead Jasper and I discussing it."

My thoughts were circling and my sympathy for Edward barely registered this time. I was really nervous now. It was strange enough having Edward and Rosalie invited but now the entire office was probably going and I really hoped Alice wouldn't make me look like a fool. My hands started to feel clammy.

"Bella?"

My head snapped up to see Edward holding the elevator door open for me. Clouded by my thoughts I didn't realize we had reached the garage already. I tried smiling and walked past him to my car.

He followed me, concentrating on my face. "What's wrong ? What did I say?" he asked anxiously.

"Nothing's wrong. So I'll see you later?" I tried to sound as cheerful as possible.

We reached my car and the lights flashed as I unlocked it. I turned to say goodbye and was startled by the look of frustration on his face. I pasted on a smile as he continued to probe my expression with his eyes. I just stared back at him innocently which was difficult under those intense orbs.

"Tell me what your costume is and I'll tell you what's on my mind." I knew it was unfair, but I was curious by his reaction.

He blinked back in surprise. After another moment I thought he would give in—he looked sorely tempted to. Instead he sighed in annoyance, running a hand through his hair.

"Fine, see you later," he said and stalked off to his car.

~/~/~/~

I drove to Alice's apartment with continued anxiety, but was a little satisfied at winning my argument with Edward—or rather, just keeping him from winning. It was a rare occurrence so I allowed myself a mental pat on the back. I really couldn't confide in him completely since he was one of the reasons for my newfound anxiety. If he hadn't teased about Alice's costume plans for me and mentioned how many coworkers were attending, I might have been just fine. There's nothing like getting drunk in front of the people you work with and then facing them on Monday…

I pulled into a spot in front of Alice's building and killed the engine. I rested my head on the steering wheel and took deep breathes, closing my eyes. This wasn't so bad, I would be among friends. And hopefully there would be so many people there that I could get lost in the crowd. And I would be wearing my mask.

With those thoughts in mind, I kicked my car door open. After Alice buzzed me in, she yanked me into her apartment by my arm. She already had her make up and hair done. It was short dark hair and she got the Audrey Hepburn style perfectly.

"Hi Alice—"

She cut off my greeting by stripping my coat down and plunked me in front of her vanity. "You barely made it before six-thirty, but there's no time to complain about that now. You're going to look fabulous when I'm through," she said gleefully.

She turned her stereo on for us to listen to and began tugging and separating my hair into sections. It would be healthier for me not to pay attention to everything she did, but it was hard to concentrate on anything else. My newspaper from last week was nowhere in sight. Alice styled my hair with a curling iron and pinned it up in places atop my head. She kept all the tendrils in place with spray and screwed in pins with blue diamonds and small flowers on them. I had to admit my mass of swept up hair and curls was looking great and not at all like a prom queen.

Then she took out several tubes and containers of lotions and make-up. My eyes almost bulged at her collection. "Wow, you are really prepared," I whispered.

She just giggled and titled my head back. "I'm going to moisturize your skin first so the paints I apply won't dry you out later."

"Paints?!" My head jerked up a little.

She sighed and pulled my face back down and rubbed a think layer of cream all over my face and neck. "This stuff is going to make your skin feel like rose petals. That's why I use the smaller container of it on my nipples."

"Too much information, Alice."

I already had fair skin, but Alice applied white foundation and powders to my face, neck, and shoulders, making the difference in skin tones gradually blend. She also added shimmer powder to my skin and arms. She painted my nails ice blue and while the polish dried she continued the rest of my make-up. Violets and pale blues were applied, making my eyelids have that smokey affect and my brown eyes looked like deep pools of chocolate in comparison. Mascara, liquid liner, and pale pink lip gloss were the final touches.

"Alice, you're transforming me right before my eyes. I'm impressed."

She laughed loudly. "You haven't even seen your actual costume yet. Wait here." She dashed out of her large marble bathroom. While she was gone I kept blinking at myself in the mirror and pinching my arm. _Yes, this person in my reflection is definitely me._

Alice came back with a silky light blue and lavender colored dress. It was low cut with spaghetti straps and the skirt of it flowed to my knees in different shades of layers made of silks and lace.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"I knew you'd love it. Sexy, but not slutty." She took it off the hanger and handed it to me, beaming. "I'll help you slip it on, there's a zipper in the back." I nodded, still admiring the fabric and colors.

It fit perfectly. "You see, I added this sparkly lace in between the layers and gave the edges a distressed look. I left the top simple so it doesn't compete with the mask."

"Alice, I can't believe you dolled up this dress. Thank you. I hate to say it, but maybe you should quit the firm and go into fashion design for real."

"I would, but I like it as a hobby better. You know I love my job the way you do."

Most of the time it was a huge headache, but it was worth it. I grinned knowingly as I continued to admire my dress.

"So now I'm going to get dressed in my costume and I'll bring you the rest of your things. Heels, wings..." She spun out of the room, still talking.

I put on the shimmer sheer stockings while I waited. In fifteen minutes she returned looking like she had just stepped right out of the 1950s.

"Alice! You look positively gorgeous," I breathed. She wore a cream strapless dress that fanned out to her ankles with chiffon layers underneath. The pattern of the dress had a continuous string of brown and teal pokadots, matching white elbow length gloves, and white satin shoes with petite heels.

"You like?!" she squealed. She twirled over to me and I just then realized she had a handful of my accessories. "I bought these tiny butterfly wings and attached two long pieces of sheer silver fabric to them," she said, clipping the wings to the small of my back.

"I love them. They're pretty and small so I won't be hitting anyone with them if I walk or turn sharply," I observed.

"Precisely." She smoothed the sheer fabric until it tumbled down the back of my legs. "And here's the most important." She smiled handing me my mask and a pair of silver satin pumps.

I stared at my mask appreciatively. Alice snatched it out of my hands. "Oh, I'll do it. I don't want you messing up your hair," she said critically, and gently placed the mask around my head, fixing my tendrils.

The doorbell rang. "Perfect timing! That'll be Jazz and Emmett." She clapped once and went over to the intercom, buzzing them in. Alice and I met with a tuxedo and a lion's suite at the door.

I burst out laughing as they entered. "Is this James Bond befriends Lionheart the Carebear?" I asked with amusement.

Jasper chuckled in his tuxedo as Alice fixed his bow tie. His blond wavy locks were brushed back but still curled a little at his neck. They looked perfectly debonair together.

"Hey, I resent that," Emmett declared, folding his arms across his chest. "I'm the lion from The Wizard of Oz."

"I think you look great actually. Where'd you get the costume?" I looked over his furry one piece suit, tail and all. He wore a fuzzy golden brown afro-type wig and had brown whiskers drawn on his face from what I guessed was with an eyeliner pencil. I leaned forward, examining the handiwork.

"I borrowed it off a guy from the gym," he said, smiling broadly.

"You know this party is going to be fancy, Emmett," Alice accused.

"I can dance in this," he said, undisturbed by her critical observation.

She rolled her eyes as Jasper and I laughed.

"Okay! Let's get going, I have to meet with the caterer at the front desk to touch base." She grabbed her long, silk blue cloak that looked exactly like the one Audrey Hepburn wore in the movie. Then she handed me a blue shawl, seeing as a jacket would have bunched up my wings and frills.

We hailed a cab and cozied in the back seat as Alice raved about the room. Alice really took her parties seriously. Weeks ago she had booked a banquet room at an upscale hotel downtown and insisted on having all the appetizers catered with small buffet tables where guests could munch all night. At least she had enough sense to have a full working bar where guests still had to pay for their drinks.

"This room has large windows and I had them decorate it with blood red velvet curtains and candlestick holders on all the tables, black table cloths, and I bought all these cute spiders, webs, and little ghosts that hang from the ceiling."

"Is there gonna be a volcano punch bowl too?" Emmett asked eagerly from the front passenger seat.

"Of course. Don't you know me at all?!"

We arrived in style, and had our coats tagged and hung in the coat room. Alice began greeting guests and many of them looked familiar. Some were acquaintances, some I didn't recognize. It was just like Alice to attract tons of people. She was the fun-loving party girl who had lived in Seattle a lot longer than me. Socially, she was very contagious and always ended up making lot's of friends. Jasper was quiet, polite, and easy going, a far cry from Alice's personality, but they seemed compliment each other. If he could keep up with Alice, he could keep up with her crowds.

I was already feeling more relaxed as Emmett put a big paw around me. "Have I told you that you look fantastic tonight?" He grinned down at me.

"Why thank you, Emmett. You can also thank Alice who has been working her magic for the last two hours."

"Well she had a beautiful person to start with." He chuckled and gave me a squeeze.

"You really know how to charm a woman."

More groups of people were entering the lobby behind us so we all decided it was time to head over to the banquet hall. The party was already getting started, surprisingly. The two bartenders were shaking cocktails, food was being passed around, guests lingered in groups, drinking and talking.

I knew Alice would be gone for awhile mingling around the room. There were already at least fifty people here so I assumed I wouldn't see her for awhile. It was when the party was full and Emmett and I had been talking and drinking for a bit that Rosalie came up to us. She was dressed as Marilyn Monroe in the classic white dress, golden hair swept up, and full red lips. I closed my gaping mouth and elbowed Emmett to do the same.

"Wow, Rosalie you look fantastic," I remarked sincerely.

Rosalie actually smiled wide herself and inclined her head towards me. "You look extraordinary yourself, Isabella." She then looked to Emmett with questioning brows.

"Oh, this is my friend Emmett Chase." I looked to him and gestured, "This is Rosalie Lawrence, my boss."

Rosalie offered her hand to Emmett and he quickly gave it a polite kiss, his eyes still wide.

"It's nice to meet a friend of Isabella's." She smiled sweetly.

Emmett looked like he hadn't heard a word she said but just kept rudely staring at her. I nudged one of his paws. Snapping out of his spell, Emmett whipped his head to me and then back to Rosalie. "Uhh, would you like a drink?" he asked and then realized she was already holding a flute of champagne. "I mean, would you like to dance?

She eyed him in his lion costume with amused skepticism and looked back up to his eyes. "I would love to," she agreed and downed the rest of her champagne. Rosalie handed me her empty glass before they left arm in arm into the mass of people.

I sighed and dropped the glass off at the bar. Emmett was such a sucker for a pretty face and great tits. I moseyed my way over to the punch bowl that was smoking from dry ice. I ladled myself a glass and sipped, eyeing the crowd. I tried looking for Edward but my chances of spotting him weren't good among the sea of people. It looked like a cross between Hocus Pocus and The Fifth Element movie set. People were dancing and socializing with witches, goblins, starlets, aliens, etc.

"Hi there," said a voice beside me.

I looked up to a goofy grin and blue eyes.

"Hi?" I replied in uncertainty. I didn't recognize this person. Then it slowly dawned on me. I think we had danced all of fifteen minutes at the most before my charming boss had cut in and I had forgotten about everything else around me. "Wait, you're Mike right?"

He nodded though his grin wavered and he seemed unsure now.

"We danced at Jupiter awhile back. Remember?"

"Right, you're..."

"Bella."

"I didn't recognize you with your mask on I guess."

I just smiled.

"I see we both have wings on tonight," he commented, shifting into a flirtatious tone.

His cherub costume was... interesting—for lack of a better word. At first I thought he was a tennis player in his bright white shorts and t-shirt with matching sneakers and high ribbed socks. Instead of having a cardigan drape his shoulders, he had a halo and wings attached. I eyed the crooked ensemble.

"So we do," I replied, sipping my punch again.

"Can I have directions?"

"To where?"

"To your heart." He flashed his white teeth, intensified by his costume.

_What a line... that was really cheesy._ "Ha ha, aren't you Cupid? Figure it out," I challenged and gulped down more of the punch.

When I looked up he was leaning closer to me and I smelled scotch on his breath. Making a pass at me wasn't what I had in mind "Are you drunk?" I asked in surprise.

"I'm just intoxicated by you."

I took a step back, my eyes darting around the room for Emmett. And where was Edward?

And then my gaze stopped on a man across the room looking at me, making thoughts of Edward fly away. Or I thought he was looking at me, it was difficult to tell because he was also wearing a mask that covered his eyes and the right side of his face. Through the sea of dancing, drunk, oblivious people, he started walking towards me. Without taking my eyes off him, I thrust my drink into Mike's hands and cautiously walked over to meet him.

As we neared each other, I saw that he was wearing a black tuxedo that fit him perfectly, white gloves, and a white mask. His hair was combed black and then I put it all together. He was the phantom from _Phantom of the Opera_ and my brain grew foggy, casting everyone but him into a blur. Normally I wouldn't just walk up to complete strangers, but this felt like it was right out of a dream. I imagined the smoke from a fog machine blistering around him and Andrew Lloyd Webber's tempo completing the picture.

We finally met at the edge of the dance floor and I looked up at him with wide eyes. The music and chatter were too loud so we couldn't exactly hold a conversation, but I couldn't wait to get to know him. He cocked his head to the side and held a hand out to me, wordlessly asking me to dance. I put my hand in his and we turned onto the dance floor. The music was classy jazz, and I had a feeling Alice had requested a lot of this type of music for tonight. We danced in each others arms and he slowly twirled me, catching me on my way back to him with a careful hand on the side of my ribcage. It felt nice to be carefree, hiding behind the image of my costume and casually dancing with a stranger. It was fun and I realized I was smiling the whole time. This was the man that would help me get Edward off the brain.

Songs blurred into one after the other and we slowed our dance. Most people left the dance floor sweating and went for a cocktail break. The phantom gave me tight-lipped smiles and I returned them eagerly with a curl of my lip. I squinted up at my dance partner trying to imagine what he looked like under the mask. He misinterpreted my action and leaned closer until his face was inches from mine. Involuntarily my lips parted and my lids felt heavier. We were so close, his breath tickled my glossed lips, making them quiver.

This embrace felt familiar, creeping up on me, unlocking my instinct. I had never felt content and aroused like this except with one person. As all of this registered, he lips brushed mine light as a butterfly the same instant I jerked us apart with a frown.

"Edward?" I squeaked loudly over the music.

He straightened up. "Bella?" he guessed in a hoarse voice.

We stopped dancing, standing in the middle of the floor among the moving bodies around us. I pushed off his chest and he let go of me. My body trembled from the realization and I grabbed his arm, leading us to the edge of the dance floor.

I stopped short and rounded on him. "You are unbelievable! Playing this trick on me..." I accused furiously.

"Trick? You're the one with the tricks!" he said heatedly, recovering himself.

"Nonsense." was all I could manage to say and stalked off.

He kept pace with me easily. "Are you saying you had no idea it was me?" We stopped near the bar and he slipped his mask off.

There was no more doubt—Edward was definitely the phantom. He had sprayed his hair black and combed it down. "How could I know it was you, your hair is different." I pointed at the locks in question accusingly. "And duh! You're wearing the phantom's mask that covers three quarters of a person's face. And don't even tell me you had no idea it was me either," I added, hailing the bartender.

"That is completely unfair. Have you seen _you_?" He waved at me with the back of his hand like it was obvious. His cheeks were pinked and his jaw tight.

I looked down at myself in confusion. The bartender approached. "I'll have a—"

Edward cut me off. "Two gin and tonics please." He almost ran a hand through his hair but stopped abruptly and put his elbows on the bar instead.

"What do you mean? Explain," I demanded and pulled my mask off too, like it would help me breathe easier.

"You look like a wintry fairy of seduction who stepped right out of Labyrinth or something," he answered like he was explaining a simple math problem to a dull student. "The only trait remotely resembling Bella Swan is your stubbornness."

Our drinks arrived and Edward tossed a bill to the bartender who tucked it gratefully in his apron.

We chugged our gin and tonics, avoiding eye contact. As I put my fingers at my temple, trying to clear my mind, my empty glass was replaced with a new drink. Edward didn't say anything and I hoped he had left. When I picked my head up he was still leaning against the bar, delicately sipping his second drink and watching me.

"You're not going to let this go are you?" he asked in a bored tone.

I made a face at him and turned my focus to the party. My attempts at ignoring him failed because he relentlessly kept staring at me. "I apologize for making a pass at you. I assure you it was intended for the stranger I thought I was dancing with instead."

I was offended and relieved by his strange apology. "Yeah, I forgot how you make passes at total strangers on a dance floor." Bitterness colored my tone.

He looked sharply at me, his blazing green eyes reflecting his temper. "If I was reading the signals correctly, I was under the impression you wanted the same thing," he replied scathingly.

"I think you imagined the chemistry. Let's just forget the whole thing," I said coldly, turning back to watch the party. I hoped that my make-up concealed my angry flushed complexion.

"Sounds good to me." His lips formed a tight line and he turned to face the rest of the party too.

After several long minutes he edged closer to me and lazily leaned back against the bar. I breathed a sigh of relief as I sensed the change in his body language. We were back to our normal/abnormal friendship. The good thing about our little arguments was that we bounced back somewhat quickly from them.

"You weren't kidding about being old fashioned," I commented, gesturing to his handsome attire.

"You weren't kidding about Alice dressing you over the top. But I like it." He smirked down at me.

"So why wouldn't you tell me about your costume?" I asked curiously.

He shrugged, though failed at his attempt to seem casual. "I didn't want Alice finding out. After realizing how much zeal she had about the whole thing, I didn't want Jessica or Lauren getting wind of it."

"Oh…" I said, feeling stupid.

"If you hadn't noticed, I've been trying to beat away their attempts at bedding me. If they found me tonight I would have been at their mercy like a running rabbit to a wild pack of dogs." He grimaced at the thought.

"I thought men preferred it that way. What are you, a timid maiden lady?" I felt a smile spread on my face.

He shot me a dark look. "I run my own game."

Of course he did, and made up his own rules too. "I haven't seen Jessica tonight," I amended, in hopes of keeping the conversation light.

He gestured with his chin. "She's over there with Cupid," he said, slipping his mask back on.

I looked in that direction to see Jessica dressed in a cheerleading costume with copious amounts of make up on her face. Part of her skirt was mistakenly tucked inside her underwear from the back. She was flirting and laughing loudly with Mike's arm lazily around her shoulders. His socks were at uneven lengths up his shins and his halo was crooked. He looked more drunk then when I'd left him at the punch bowl earlier.

"Well at least she's occupied now," I confirmed, turning back to Edward. I almost choked, my breath catching in my throat. It was very difficult to talk to him when he had his mask on and looked down at me with that air of mysteriousness. I pushed away that uneasy feeling and put my own mask back on.

"I wouldn't have blabbed if you wanted to keep your costume a secret." I wished he had confided in me.

"I know that now. It certainly would have prevented our little mix up." He seemed genuinely regretful.

I was surprised and a little bit hurt by his tone. But there was always a silver lining to every mishap I supposed. Whatever might have happened with him would have complicated my life more so. I turned to him and asked incredulously, "Wait, are you agreeing with me?"

He smiled grimly. "There's a first for everything."

We continued leaning against the bar side by side and watched the dancing couples in silence for a bit.

He finished his drink before asking, "So why wouldn't Alice tell me what your costume was?"

"That's a very good question," I murmured, my eyes searching the room for my devious friend.

* * *

**I know there were quite a lot of expectations for the Halloween party so I hope this chapter met with most of them. I know the Phantom's mask only covers half of his face, but I had to tweak that detail for my purposes. **

**Songs for this chapter are: Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Thriller by MJ, and most importantly, Spooky by The Classics IV. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Fear not those who argue but those who dodge." - Marie Ebner von Eschenbach, Aphorisms, 1905_

**Chapter Six**

Things at work picked up to a busy schedule. After Halloween we had exactly two and a half weeks before Thanksgiving. Many people usually took a few extra days off for traveling purposes so there were tight deadlines to be met.

Coworkers were still raving about Alice's party and she had been drunk on compliments for days.

"I'll never forget your party, Alice! I met the cutest guy there and we really hit it off. I think it could really go somewhere. And it's all thanks to your Halloween party." Jessica bubbled in the doorway. She looked back to her old self, all signs of the drunken cheerleader vanished.

"Thanks. That's great Jess, I'm glad you had fun," Alice said from my desk, looking truly touched by Jessica's exuberant compliment.

Jessica trilled away, still smiling. She was practically glowing and it wasn't just the florescent office lights brightening all the jewelry that adorned her.

I mentioned to Alice about the 'little mix-up' Edward and I had had that night. Alice matched my disappointment with confusion, but didn't add any insight to the situation. I questioned her about what Edward said as to her motives for keeping my costume a secret. She evaded my questions with blank innocence or giggled excuses, and eventually I was too tired of prodding.

Edward and I didn't refer to our little encounter since the party. I don't know about him but I was still embarrassed by it. I was embarrassed, but equally mad at myself for letting things even get that far. I touched my lips, remembering the feeling of the almost kiss. Or was it a kiss? His lips touched mine so softly, for the briefest moment before we broke apart.

I pushed the romantic thought aside because it was a mistake. If I was really being honest with myself, I'll admit that I had pulled away first, but he took no pains to disagree with my action afterward. In fact, it was the first time we truly seemed to agree on anything, yet the feeling of it didn't sit well with me.

All this time a small voice had been telling me that he wanted me, watching me squirm under his flirty and aggravating attentions until I gave in to him. It was humiliating that once he realized it was me in his arms on that dance floor, he had wanted to forget the whole thing. That subtle rejection stirred feelings within me that I wasn't aware of possessing.

Before Edward came into my life I never had to worry about who I was meeting, who I was dancing with, and who I was sleeping with. And now, he just kept popping up in all those places when I attempted to replace him.

I kept things friendly between us because I didn't want to complicate anything—we still had to work together regardless. I put on my fake smiles and we continued our easy going, light-hearted, argumentative interactions. We still exchanged file folders or reports, took coffee and lunch breaks together, and I kept our conversations on work-related subjects. And the next few days passed just like that.

Well, it was for the best.

By Thursday, things were almost unbearable. My mounting tension was subconsciously putting space between Edward and I. Unfortunately, when I realized this, it furthered my awareness of it and by the end of the week it had snowballed into a vicious cycle. Edward didn't seem to notice and munched happily on his cobb salad—or so I thought.

"Bella..."

I tore my eyes from the window where I had been people watching. "Hmm?"

"You're not even listening to me, are you?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

He wasn't amused and put his fork down. "What is up with you this week?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied smoothly and continued eating my raspberry goat cheese salad.

"You've been spaced out and distant," he countered.

"I've been distracted with the Perkin's case. It's been busy this week and—"

"Distracted, yes but not from work. You've barely paid attention at the meetings concerning the Perkin's case. So out with it, you're not fooling me." He pointed to his chest to emphasize his point. "Lawyer."

_Or rather detective!_ Exceptionally observant, he could see my uneasiness plain as day, reading my body language and trying to decipher my countenance. He could usually tell when I was mad or bothered by something, but I think he preferred when I yelled at him than let my thoughts stew in distracted silence. There was no way he could win an argument without the opposing participant and that frustrated him more than losing.

"I'll not have you, Edward Cullen, lecture me the way a lawyer does a guilty witness," I said firmly, putting down my own fork.

He took a deep breathe. "I'm not lecturing. I just wish you would confide in me about what's bothering you."

"Like I said, I don't know what you're talking about." I didn't want to succumb to his probing stare and averted my eyes.

"If nothing is wrong, why are you reacting so defensively to a simple question?" he pressed.

"I don't know why you have to be so cynical," I accused, taking out a few bills from my purse. It was unfair to say but he was cornering me. Edward leaned back in his chair with an angry sigh.

"I wish I could read your mind Bella because I just don't get you sometimes." His locked gaze intensified as if he could lift the thoughts from my mind.

"You don't want to know everything I'm thinking. Trust me on that," I said through my teeth. I tossed the money on the table and left the restaurant. Once past the door, I inhaled a burst of cold air outside, freeing myself from the smothering conversation.

I hadn't heard from Edward all afternoon. He probably thought I owed him an apology and maybe I did. He should have assumed that things couldn't resume where we left off after Alice's party, but I was too stubborn to openly admit it. We didn't see each other at the office for the rest of the afternoon and I rushed out the door as soon as my work was finished.

The following morning I was in meetings with Rosalie and Alice. Rosalie was prepping us for the next lawsuit Mr. and Mr. Lawrence were taking on. She crossed her graceful long legs with red pin heel pumps as she read off key points of the case. Alice and I scribbled notes of our own and phone calls we would have to make. I noticed Rosalie wore her hair down a lot more recently instead of pulling it back in her neat bun or smoothed ponytail that ended in a single curl. Her golden mass of hair was long and flowing, the silky waves framed her beautiful face, making her look even more sultry than usual.

We adjourned the meeting right before noon. "See you in an hour Bella," Alice called from the doorway as her and Jasper left for lunch.

I smiled distractedly with a nod. Yesterday's conversation with Edward was still floating to the front of my mind.

Before I could continue my brooding, Edward came to my cubicle and leaned against the doorway. I was surprised by how much I had missed him. He looked at me with apologetic eyes and a small smile.

"I suppose I shouldn't have interrogated you so harshly yesterday."

"I suppose." I nodded and eyed him seriously.

"Perhaps we should bypass all the evasiveness," he said and slowly walked over to my desk.

My eyes widened with a mixture of hope and alarm. _Was he going to admit something to me about that Halloween night?_

"Bella…"

"Yes?" I urged a little breathlessly.

He looked down at my curious eyes. "Whatever that's been bothering you, it is your business, it was wrong of me to pry. I had no right to." My spirits deflated but I kept my expression polite. His eyes looked me over, still desperately searching for a truth. It made me feel guilty.

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you. There is nothing to forgive." I dismissed it all offhandedly.

He tried hiding a smile like I had confirmed his assumptions. "So you admit something is wrong then?"

My lips formed a line as I arched a brow.

"Right, sorry." He stood up straight and made his way out.

I was about to lean back in my chair and flick my pen at the computer when he stopped at the doorway. Turning around he said, "Bella?"

"Yes?" I asked, feeling like he was setting up another trap for me.

"If it had anything to do with me, would you tell me?"

_No._ "Of course I would. Not that that's even an issue, it's not," I added quickly.

"Of course not. If that were the case I would insist on knowing. I'd hate not to have the chance to make things right." He smiled a little, tilting his head to the side as if measuring my honesty. I gave nothing away.

"Do you have plans for lunch?" I inquired, desperate to change the subject and keep him from leaving.

"I have a business lunch with one of Mr. Lawrence's clients," he replied tiredly, rubbing a hand down his face.

Disappointment and relief washed through me. "I've got plans also... so I'd better leave soon," I lied, glancing at my wristwatch.

He took the hint and departed.

~/~/~/~

The difference in our reactions just proved to me that we weren't on the same page, and I would most certainly get hurt. It was clear by his behavior that the incident just wasn't an issue to him. I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but these feelings inside wouldn't let me move on. I could feel new emotions blossoming when I thought of his absence, or rather, when I just thought of him in general.

From his good looks that were painfully unfair to every man, woman, and child, to his irresistible yet irritating personality, and those enticing smiles he gave... there was no doubt that the attraction was there. He interacted with children on friendly levels, yet maintained his air of mysteriousness. The whole conundrum left me intrigued, and he admirably kept up with my arguments every step of the way. Not to mention how good he was in bed... _let's not go there, Swan._

Thinking of all this at once left me feeling lightheaded and I slumped into my chair, staring at my computer screen.

There was one thing I was sure about, he was still just a man, and men were a disappointment to me. My opinions on the opposite sex were solid and I couldn't have Edward chipping away at them. I did what any sensible woman would do. I picked up my phone and dialed, waiting nervously with each ring. I realized I was breathing heavy, fogging up the receiver.

"Bells! What's up?"

"Emmett, hi."

"Now who's calling who at work?" he teased.

I was about to correct his language with 'it's whom not who' but decided it wasn't the proper time for that. "Very funny. You remember that guy you told me about months ago? Are you still his trainer?"

"Uh yeah, he's here right now in fact," Emmett said, surprised. I could hear his head angle away from the phone, revealing the noise of weightlifting machines and music in the background.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I think I'll give him a chance."

"What's with your interest all of a sudden?"

"You made him sound interesting and I've had time to think it over," I lied casually. I didn't like lying to Emmett because it was so easy to get away with it. Guilt washed over me.

"Alright, I'll give him your number then."

"Thanks, Em."

"No problem, I'll see ya later," he said, hanging up.

"Right, see ya later," I mumbled into the dead phone.

~/~/~/~

When I came home from work that evening I already had a message waiting for me.

_"Hi Bella, this is James, Emmett's buddy at the gym. When Emmett gave me your number I thought I would give you a call right away in hopes that you'll have dinner with me tomorrow night. Give me a call, my number is 843-9001."_

Finally, a man that is straight forward! Dinner seemed harmless enough and I already felt the burdens of rejection and indecision float off my shoulders. I dialed him back and we arranged the time and place tomorrow. He seemed nice enough on the phone and I was looking forward to the distraction.

After my past date disasters I had been burnt out so without hesitation, took myself off the market. But Saturday afternoon I looked through my closet with a new, mounting trepidation. None of my clothes seemed good enough anymore. I would've asked Alice for a short stop shopping trip but… well, I didn't feel like explaining to her my decision to go on this date.

I settled for a simple royal blue strapless dress that flowed to just above the knee, and a matching light gray cardigan. The only adornment I chose were silver earrings and a small jeweled clip to keep my hair out of my face. I applied minimal makeup and slipped on a pair of black two-inch heels. I was going for sophisticated and pretty.

After locking my apartment door, I met my neighbor Marc on the way out. He tried making conversation as his eyes kept wandering over me, but I sidled into the elevator with a hurried farewell. Luckily it wasn't raining tonight but the clouds were still dark and heavy. I made it to the restaurant a little early and the host pointed to an intimate table for two where a man—who I assumed was James—was already seated.

I put on my best smile as he stood up to greet me with a handshake. "You must be Bella. You look very pretty tonight," he said offering me the chair opposite him.

I was grateful that his dark brown eyes stayed on my face when he said this. "Thank you," I replied with a reserved smile.

James had wavy hair, a little longer than Jasper's. It was a mixture of dark blond and light brown. A few strands had escaped from behind his ear and rested on his forehead right above his eyebrow. His features were not unpleasant with his deep set eyes, tanned skin, and full bottom lip. He was a bit muscular, probably from working out at the gym, and was of average height.

We sat down making ourselves comfortable as a waiter came over to fill our glasses with ice water and lemon.

"I'm glad we finally got the chance to meet. Emmett speaks of you often," he said with ease.

"Yes, I'm glad too," I agreed politely.

"I admit, I've wanted to go out with you for awhile," he stated boldly with a curl of his lip.

I allowed my lips to part in a smile. "I'm flattered."

I looked over the menu interestedly, but thought I could feel his gaze penetrating me. When I looked up at him I had been correct. The intensity of his dark eyes were startling and after staring back at him for a moment, his expression smoothed to an easy-going smile.

The waiter came back and took our orders and our menus. James wanted to order a bottle of wine, but I politely declined, preferring not to commit myself, and decided on ordering by the glass instead.

I cleared my throat. "So James, tell me what you do for a living?" I started with the usual questions in hopes of keeping conversation light.

He smiled, showing all of his large square white teeth. "I'm in real estate. I search for any available land or property in the state and if it's promising, my firm can get quite a lot of money for it."

"And how does that work exactly?"

"Well for example, if someone can't pay their land taxes anymore and needs to downsize their estate or farm, we convince them to sell to us instead of the state directly. That way we can build homes and make triple on what the land was originally worth."

"That doesn't seem fair to the state."

"They get their share in taxes. Besides, we're also doing the original property owner a favor. Many times they don't want to deal with hiring contractors and selling to resident buyers. And they won't get that much from the state either," he remarked with a satisfied smile.

"And do you enjoy it?" I asked, swirling my wine in its glass.

He shrugged. "I just fell into it, but I like it enough. They call me a tracker because I'm very meticulous at searching the land, finding available properties," he remarked with fake modestly.

"A tracker? Hmm that's interesting." I recalled how good Edward was at his job but he actually enjoyed doing it. I pushed the thoughts away. If I compared every guy to Edward, I would never find one I liked…

When our food arrived, I dug in a bit eagerly.

"I really wanted to be a famous actor before I got into real estate," he admitted.

"Really?" My curiosity pricked.

"Yup. I've been in a few films, too."

"No kidding, what roles have you been in?" I asked leaning forward.

"I was one of the victims in Titanic." He shrugged and went back to eating. "Nothing important really. I've been extras in films and on soap operas. But tell me about yourself. Emmett says you work for a law firm?" he prompted.

"Oh, yes…" I proceeded to tell him about my job and the company while we ate. However, I omitted details on all the lawsuits and refrained from mentioning them when possible. He seemed interested enough and nodded at certain intervals.

When our plates were cleared we idly chit chatted while we waited for the bill. He asked if I wanted dessert, but I declined. No need to glut myself on a first date.

"Tell me James, how do you feel about children?" I asked casually, eyeing him to gauge his reaction.

He smiled wide. "Can't stand them."

I barked a laugh. "Yeah kids can be really annoying sometimes," I agreed half-heartedly and downed the rest of my wine.

I wasn't the type to want children, but at least I liked them. He was being truthful so I could hardly reproach him. We gathered our coats to leave. James gestured with a hand for me to walk in front, which is customary when a man wants to check you out from behind. He even held the door for me and the chill of the night air prickled my exposed face and legs. We faced each other outside and this was the moment at the end of a date that I least cared for.

"Shall we share a cab?" he asked, friendly.

I felt a moment of unease, glancing into his dark eyes. Perhaps it was as Emmett had said long ago, he was just an intense person. "Sure," I agreed.

We rode in silence, exchanging smiles and periodically looking out the window. When the taxi pulled over in front of my apartment both of us got out of the car.

"It's really not necessary for you to walk me to my door," I assured him.

"I insist," he said, smiling and gave a signal to the cab driver.

Well at least the cab was waiting for him so he didn't expect an invitation upstairs. Lingering at my door, he spoke first. "I had a good time tonight. May I call you again sometime?" He had dark, hopeful eyes.

I gave him a small smile. "That would be nice."

He leaned in to place a kiss on my lips. It was brief and small, but lingered for a moment longer than I was expecting. His eyes were dancing when he gave me a small wave by the cab before getting in. After it disappeared around the corner, I let out a heavy breath of relief and turned to go inside.

Ninety percent of women believe that the first kiss tells them everything they need to know about a man sexually. I put myself in that percentile. His kiss hadn't stirred a fire deep inside the pit of my being or made my extremities tingle with electricity. It was... forgettable.

Only one person truly excited my body in that way.

~/~/~/~

On Monday I was feeling more chipper. My date with James hadn't been a total disaster so I figured we would go out again. I didn't know when that would be, but it was customary for him the call me if he wanted to. I felt a lot better about seeing Edward now, like the ball was in my court. I refused to be pathetic and feel sorry for myself just because Edward and I had had an awkward, embarrassing ordeal which he was clearly moving past without regret. I bet he slept well at night and took long showers in the morning, too.

"Good morning!" I sang with enthusiasm to Alice who was sitting at her desk. Since it was her turn to bring in donuts, she offered me the box from her chair.

"And what puts you in such a good mood this morning?" she asked with a mischievous smile.

"I went on a date last night," I replied reaching for a donut.

Alice jerked in her chair and skidded the donuts on her desk, thus out of my reach. We both stared at each other in surprise. She was surprised by my news and I was surprised by her surprise.

"A date?!" she squawked.

I nodded slowly. "Yes Alice, a date. You know when single adults go out to get to know each other—"

"Don't be flippant with me, Isabella Marie Swan," she snapped. "Why would you be going on dates? I thought after my party..." she trailed off, too confused to speak anymore.

"You thought what? That Edward would magically profess feelings of interest toward me at your Halloween party?" I snapped back. "Yeah, that sounds a lot like him, Alice. He suddenly stopped being an insensitive jerk and won me over," I finished bitterly.

She slowly sat back in her chair and handed me a donut which I accepted and took an angry bite.

"You're right. You're certainly free to go out on dates. But after weeks of flirting I figured it was in the bag."

"We have not been flirting. We can barely get along in the same room for more than five minutes," I said, throwing my coat and bags into my chair before rejoining Alice at her desk. I sat on the corner of it and folded my arms across my chest.

"Maybe you're reading the signs wrong," she suggested tentatively.

"I don't think so. He's made it clear that he would rather we be friendly coworkers."

"Maybe." She let the subject drop. "So what's this new guy like?" she asked critically.

I smiled at her for being my friend again and not matchmaker elf. "His name is James and he's actually quite normal. Not bad to look at, charming, stable in his career. And we're going out again." This was usually enough information for her.

Alice took a bite of donut thoughtfully. "Kiss on the first date?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just a peck," I confirmed.

"And?"

"It wasn't terrible," I answered mildly.

"How did you meet him?" she asked, skepticism dripping with each word.

"Not at a bar. He works out with Emmett at the gym." I knew I had her on that one.

"Oh alright, nothing about him screams sketchy so far." Though, she still didn't look convinced.

I rolled my eyes and went to my desk to start working. At lunch time Edward moseyed over to my cubicle with a crooked smile. My heart started pounding as my gaze rose from his lips up to his bright amused eyes.

"Chinese food?" he asked, folding his arms and leaned in the doorway.

I was weak. "Sure."

As I was pulling on my jacket a delivery man came in through the doorway.

"Are you Isabella Swan?" he asked in a muffled, squeaky voice behind a bouquet of flowers.

"Um yes, that's me," I answered, my eyebrows drawing together.

"These are for you." He gingerly carried the arrangement of lilies and carnations to my desk. "Enjoy!"

"Thanks..." I mumbled, fishing for the card.

_I look forward to seeing you again. -James_

"From someone you know?" Edward had straightened in the doorway to make room for the delivery man, but his body looked rigid like he was expecting an attack from either side.

I almost forgot he was there and slapped my face back to its usual solemn expression. "Just a follow up from a date I had on Saturday," I said in a nonchalant tone while looking Edward square in the eye as I buttoned my coat.

He was very surprised—no use hiding that. He rearranged his face very quickly and focused on me with watchful, dubious eyes. He swallowed and his jaw flexed. It wasn't just because of his eye color that he suddenly resembled the green-eyed monster.

"You've never mentioned him before," he said, matching my casual tone.

"Well, I just met him."

He snorted.

"What?"

"Nothing. Are you ready?"

"No, tell me what's so funny." I rooted myself to the spot.

He let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm surprised to hear that you're on the dating scene."

My calm was under tight strain as my defensive nature surfaced. I passed him out of the room toward the elevators. He followed me easily and we jumped inside the cart.

He pushed the button for the lobby. "Bella I—"

"So I'm not dateable? Is that what you're saying?" I interrupted, my voice rising. I got in his face a little, taking steps toward him. He took a few steps back until he was up against the wall. He didn't answer right away, his eyes concentrated on my lips. When he looked back to my eyes, his had darkened a bit and I backed out of his personal space feeling a bit shaken. I had seen traces of lust in his eyes before when he looked at me sometimes, but never up close.

The elevator opened, breaking the tension. We pushed through the doors and into the brisk weather. Edward put a hand on the small of my back, guiding me in the direction of the Chinese restaurant.

"Before you start jumping to conclusions," he said heatedly, leaning down to speak in my ear as we walked, "I'm not saying you aren't dateable, I'm just surprised you would waste your time on someone who's not right for you."

I turned my face to him but ended up speaking to his shoulder. "You don't even know him," I argued indignantly.

Edward pushed the door open to the restaurant, allowing me less than a second to enter in front of him. We seated ourselves at a table as a waiter handed us menus and iced waters.

Edward perused the menu, keeping his face carefully expressionless, but his flexed jaw was inclined towards me so I knew he wasn't ignoring our conversation. I pretended to look through my own menu while casting glances his way. The waiter came back and we ordered, he took the menus from the table and left.

I laced my hands together on the table and looked at him expectantly. "How do you know he's not right for me?"

He took his time shrugging his coat off and folded it on the seat next to him. I had thrown mine in a crumpled pile beside me.

"None of them are good enough for you, Bella. I doubt he's different from the rest." He paused before adding, "He sent you flowers," and gave me a look, daring me to dispute his words. And of course, I did.

"Last I heard, a man gives flowers to a woman because he's showing interest in her and they make her happy. Just because you've got the disposition of a six year old—"

"Let me guess, this was your first date with him?" Edward interrupted, smirking at me.

My brow furrowed. "Well, yes..."

"That's what I thought," he said smugly over his glass of water and took a gratifying gulp.

"What is what that you thought?!" I leaned forward across the table, exasperated.

"He's obviously not convinced that you had a good time and sent those flowers so you'll keep him on the brain until his next call. He's trying to rack up brownie points with you."

"Or maybe I'll be awaiting his next call because I like him, not because I've been tricked into it. I don't know where you get these ridiculous ideas from, but you've certainly made it clear what you think of my intellect."

"It's not your intellect that concerns me. You analyze almost everything, but somehow miss what's right in front of you." He sighed tiredly. "This conversation is not going where I wanted it to."

It was my turn to snort. I put my elbows on the table, folding my arms.

He looked at me, his thoughts debating on something.

Finally he said, "Did you have a good time on Saturday?" There was no sign of a smirk and he looked very curiously into my eyes, leaning closer.

I stared back into his green depths, his question echoing in my mind and... I hesitated.

That was all the answer he needed. His lips curled into a smug smile and he sat back in his chair.

Before I could argue further, the waiter brought our food. I chewed continuously to keep myself from saying anything I would regret. Edward was munching happily like he had just won an entire poker game, bets and all. My shooting glares didn't have any effect on him this time, but only reinforced his satisfaction.

~/~/~/~

For the rest of the week I was determined to not let Edward's conversation have an affect on me. Any time Edward approached my desk to share coffee or ask me a work-related question, he shot scornful looks at my bouquet of flowers. I kept them there to disprove his theories. If I removed them after our conversation he would think he was right even though I never gave him a verbal answer. Edward's mood proceeded to get worse through out the week.

I went out with James again on Thursday night. There was no harm in testing the waters and I wasn't going to pass up a chance to prove Edward wrong. We had another pleasant dinner and exchanged opinions on recent movies, celebrities, and the occasional family story. We were getting along nicely and admittedly, I was glad he distracted me from my irritating and gorgeous bronze haired coworker. It was a nice, safe second date.

The restaurant he chose this time wasn't that many blocks away from where I lived. He walked me to my door like last time and smiled down at me.

"I had a nice time tonight."

"Me too," I agreed and started to shiver from the cold air. I was anxious to get into my warm apartment.

"I'm going to call you again, if that's alright."

I thought about it for a moment too long. "That would be alright."

He flashed me an alluring smile. "Just alright?"

"Sure, why not?" My gaze wandered a little to my surroundings.

He stepped closer and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. His kiss was deeper this time. When I returned it his lips moved against mine more firmly and I put a hand on his chest to push him back a little. He didn't understand or maybe he was ignoring my attempts to free myself, so I reared my face backward, detaching us. He looked down at me with dark eyes, seeming almost black in the night.

"I'm tired James, and I have work tomorrow," I whispered shakily.

He straightened with an easy smile, his face unreadable. "Right, me too. I guess you better get to sleep then," he said in a low voice, making no move to leave.

I put my keys in the door and slithered from around his muscled chest, letting myself inside.

"Have a good night," he said, making me stop in my tracks for a moment.

"Good night James," I replied and shut the door.

Friday finally came and I was practically jumping in my seat for Angela and Ben to arrive tomorrow. My life was getting a little too stressful and Angela was the perfect antidote. She was understanding, mellow, and felt like home.

Alice had asked me every question in the book about my date with James last night. She was in interrogation mode, trying to find a flaw or uncertainty.

I edited.

I didn't want to confess that his kiss had been too vigorous for a second date. I knew she would immediately launch into a lecture and push me into Edward's arms.

I could already hear the trumpets of the Spanish Inquisition.

* * *

**What do you all think about these new developments so far?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch." - Robert Orben_

**Chapter Seven**

I paced back and forth in my living room, glancing out the window every five seconds to the street. In between glances, I hurried around the room fluffing couch cushions and adjusting the framed photos on the walls to make sure they were at ninety degree angles.

As soon as I heard car tires against pavement, my ears perked up and I pushed my curtain aside. I recognized that green Nissan Sentra and rushed out my apartment door.

"Ang!" I called excitedly, waving my hands and jogging over to their car. Ben had barely put the car in park when Angela pushed her door open and ran to me.

"Bella!" We threw our arms around one another, almost cackling wildly with unhindered joy. When we broke apart she exclaimed, "Where have you been all my life?!"

I giggled. It was our little joke when we hadn't seen each other in a long time. "Twice a year really isn't enough time for best friends, is it?"

"How are you, Bella?" Ben greeted, giving me a lanky one-armed hug.

"I'm great," I answered as I helped them unload their bags.

"Nonsense, Bella don't lift a finger, that's what husbands are for," she scolded with a smile and put her arm around my waist. "Now I want to know everything. Update me on your life and um... you know who," she prodded gently. We walked inside with Ben in tow carrying two duffel bags.

In my moments of frustration I had called Angela and vented to her about Edward. This was before he and I had become friendly, well sort of. I still managed to find things to vent about when it came to the subject of my distressing and enticing once lover now coworker.

"The little dramas in my life can't be that exciting, Ang. Besides don't you two want to get settled first? And as tradition calls for, I'm going to make you my double lasagna dinner tonight."

I always turned my office into a guest room when they visited. I tidied up my papers earlier and set up the futon in the corner with fresh sheets and pillows. It wasn't a large room but they had enough space and light coming in through the windows, overlooking the street.

Like the sweet person Angela was, she didn't force a confession out of me until I was ready to spill. After they lounged in the apartment for a bit to rest from their travels, we loaded into my car to go grocery shopping. With the busy weeks at work I only had peanut butter and a sad looking onion in my refrigerator. Not until we comfortably strolled down the grocery aisles did I plague them with my stories.

I described the night at Alice's Halloween party in vivid detail. I hoped I wasn't boring Ben to death, but I needed Angela to understand the situation.

"And so there you have it. It was utterly embarrassing," I concluded with a sigh and picked jars of tomato sauce off a shelf.

Angela took a few boxes of lasagna pasta noodles off the shelf thoughtfully. "Maybe he just behaved like that because of how you reacted."

"Edward is nothing but confident to the point of pompous, whatever he wants he gets. My actions have never influenced him before." I thought of all the times he infuriated me at work by being a jerk and then when he played nice I found myself joining him for lunch. Ugh!

"Well, I've never met him so I guess I can't give you any well-based assumptions. I'm just going off of men in general. Ben hunny, you remember how we behaved before we got together?"

Ben looked up with a small blush from a box of fruit roll-ups he was holding. "How could I forget?" Ben was the only adult man I knew who still blushed as much as a high school girl.

He fixed his glasses with an index finger and grinned. "We were so shy that it took us forever it seemed to finally blurt out our feelings. Anytime I thought I had the courage, I abruptly changed the subject to something boring like the hibernation of beetles." He blushed again and looked back down to the box of fruit roll-ups.

Angela and I laughed loudly, wheeling the grocery cart around the corner. I slammed into another cart, my teeth clanked together and the impact tingled from my hands on the bar up to my elbows. I opened my eyes that I hadn't realized were squeezed shut, preparing to be yelled at by an old lady.

My eyes connected with those painfully beautiful green eyes that were so familiar to me, except now they were wide with surprise. I blinked several times, thinking this must be a dream. Maybe I fainted on the ground or died from a grocery cart collision and went to heaven.

"Bella?"

"Hi," I said in a small voice. I remembered our last conversation at lunch yesterday and my cheeks flamed up. We hadn't exactly parted on friendly terms.

He looked between the three of us.

"Oh, excuse me." I could feel my cheeks growing redder by the second. "Guys this is Edward Cullen, a coworker and friend," I introduced, pretending this was their first time hearing about him. Angela played along perfectly and gave a small wave.

"Edward, these are my friends from high school, Angela and Ben Cheney." I finished the introductions with a squeak.

Ben and Edward shook hands like men do.

"Are you okay? I hope I didn't knock over anything in your cart..." Edward said, bringing our attention back to our original cause for meeting.

I rubbed my elbows as the tingle faded. "I think everything managed to survive," I replied, looking over the jars of tomato sauce. "Are your things okay?"

"Nothing destroyed on my end. Are you making lasagna tonight?" He observed my ingredients with a friendly smile, yesterday's conversation forgotten apparently.

"Do you like lasagna?" Angela asked, friendly. I looked at her with a frown.

"I do. It's one of the best comfort foods," he answered, even-tempered.

"Bella makes the best lasagna. Why don't you join us for dinner tonight?" She cast a sly look at my now bulging eyes.

"Thank you, but I don't want to rearrange your plans," he answered politely.

"Oh we don't have set plans, isn't that right Bella?" Angela turned to me innocently. I wanted to glare at her and shout _"YES WE DO!",_ but she was usually so sweet that it was impossible for me to ever be mad at her. But this was pushing it.

"No, we don't have set plans…"

"See?" Angela urged.

Edward looked to me, trying to read my face. Whatever he saw, he then said, "I don't want to impose." Just as I was about to relax, he continued with, "But I've always wanted to taste the _best_ lasagna." He gave me a sly, lopsided smirk.

Before I could think of another excuse, Angela jumped in. "Great! Why don't you come by at five-thirty? Bella's address is..." she looked at me to continue.

"Forty Lenox Avenue, unit eighteen," I mumbled, knowing full well that he already knew where I lived.

"I look forward to it. I'll see you later then, Bella," he said with an unreadable expression. He backed up his cart and wheeled past us saying goodbye to us.

"See ya…" I was still registering the last five minutes of the conversation. I whipped around like a cobra snake to Angela's satisfied face. "What…!?" I lowered my voice. "What was that all about?"

"He wouldn't have agreed if he didn't want to spend time with you."

"Edward agreed because you kept insisting."

"Exactly. Bella, men need encouragement." She glanced at Ben, referring to him as the perfect example. "I saw the hesitant, but hopeful look in his eyes when I offered," she said, a little disturbed by my reddened face.

I breathed a heavy sigh, trying to calm myself. "I don't know how you managed to observe all that and if I didn't know any better, I could have sworn you're making it all up. But I know you're a terrible liar so that means your observation must be correct or you yourself are deceived."

They chuckled at my line of thought and speeding rambles.

"Crap! I've got to clean my apartment before he comes over."

"Bella, it already looked clean," Angela said soothingly.

"Right, you haven't seen Edward's place." I fought another blush. "He lives in a rich condo uptown. It's a vacation getaway compared to my hole in the wall," I said over my shoulder, rushing through the aisles with Angela and Ben tailgating me.

~/~/~/~

I tore through the door of my apartment at a quarter to four, all of us weighed down by grocery bags.

"Ben! I need you to put the food in the fridge," I hurriedly instructed. He obeyed, stifling a laugh as he flung the refrigerator door open.

"Ang can you—"

"I'll wash your coffee mugs in the sink."

"Thanks." I flung the cabinets below my sink open, blew the cobwebs off the cleaning products, and eyed them speculatively for a moment. It's not that I didn't clean, it's that I hadn't done a deep, down, and thorough cleaning job in months. I grabbed the lemon soap, bucket, and mop and scrubbed the floor of the kitchen. I vacuumed the soft carpet while Ben and Angela tidied up small piles of clutter like books and pens. I wiped down the tops of furniture and as forty-five minutes rolled by, Angela tapped me on the shoulder.

"Bella, you're over doing it. It's already sparkling clean." She gestured with a hand to all the rooms.

"Angela's right. You don't want this place to smell like a bleach factory, do you?" Ben rhetorically asked, washing his hands at the sink.

"I'm going crazy, aren't I?" I wiped sweat off my forehead with the back of a yellow gloved hand.

Angela nodded and peeled my hand off the feather duster with a smile.

At half-past five I was showered, dressed and prepping the food. My hair was blown dry to a smooth, silky sheen and I clothed myself in casual jeans, a thin black t-shirt that gently clung to my curves, and fuzzy striped socks.

Edward was right on time and my hand shakily buzzed him into my building. When he knocked on the door, I took a deep breath to calm myself before opening it.

A pleasant tingle pooled at the pit of my stomach. He smelled like he had just taken a shower, damp unruly hair and a clean shaven jaw. He wore a gray, thin knit shirt under his jacket and dark fitted jeans. His eyes were bright and fixed on my face.

"Hi," I greeted a bit breathlessly.

"Hello." His lips curled in a small, lopsided smile.

While hanging his coat up on a hook behind the door, I took the opportunity to inhale his scent on his jacket, which befuddled my mind momentarily.

Breaking from the brief, private moment, I turned back to the room, only to be faced with a bottle of red wine. "I wanted to contribute to your dinner," he clarified, answering my questioning gaze.

"Thank you. You really didn't have to." But my pleased smile said otherwise.

"Hi Edward, how are you?" Angela greeted with Ben at her side.

"I'm great." The three of them small talked about the drive from Forks to Seattle and Seattle weather for a bit.

"Why don't you boys go relax in the living room while we finish prepping in here," Angela suggested as she took the wine from Edward's hands and shooed them out of the room like the pre-school teacher she was.

My shoulders relaxed and we turned to the counter. Angela chopped the vegetables and I prepared the cheeses. I always made two sauces, one meat and one vegetable for the double lasagna dinner.

"So, are things going well so far do you think?" she asked carefully.

"I think so. It's hard to tell, he's always so cryptic about his feelings."

She giggled and shook her head with a sweet smile as she started on the mushrooms.

When the sauces were stewing and the noodles were boiling, Angela and I joined Edward and Ben in the living room.

Ben sat in the large plush chair while Edward was seated beside him at the end of the couch perpendicular. Ben was explaining his _Nintendo DS_ to Edward who looked very interested in the little gadget. Angela squished next to Ben and rolled her eyes at the _DS_.

I sat next to Edward since it was the only spot left vacant and listened to Ben teach him how to play _MarioKart._ I leaned over his shoulder to watch, too. He wasn't very good at first and kept slipping on the banana peels along the trail. I couldn't help snickering every time that happened, which only made him try harder to win.

"How about you try—since you think I'm no good at it," Edward teased after he came in last place again.

"No thanks, I've got to check on the food," I replied smugly and got up to go to the kitchen.

Edward loomed up behind me when I reached the stove.

"Need any help?" he offered.

"Uh sure, why don't you stir the sauces," I suggested, handing him a wooden spoon before I drained the noodles, preparing them into the two baking dishes.

"So, how's the dating scene?" he asked lightly. The interested look he gave me betrayed his off-handed tone.

"It's going well thank-you-very-much," I answered, my chin rising a notch as I concentrated on my ingredients.

"What's his name? Jerome? John?"

"It's James," I corrected.

"Whatever," he said casually with a shrug.

I huffed a laugh at his tactics of poorly disguised interest and elbowed him in the ribs. Realizing the intimate friendliness of my action, I reined myself in.

Changing the subject, he commented, "This is a nice place you have here."

"You think?" I glanced at him for signs of sarcasm.

"Yeah it's... soft."

"That's exactly what I was going for. It's no condo paradise like your place, but I think it suits me."

"Condo paradise?" He chuckled. "I've never thought of it like that. It does have a lot of nice amenities though," he said cheerfully.

"Like what?" I was curious about his lifestyle.

"Well for one, it has a cleaning service." He smirked down at me. "That came in real handy after the night you stayed over."

I looked away, but not fast enough to hide my face. "I already told you how sorry I was about that. I don't know why you have to bring it up and embarrass me."

"I don't understand why you're embarrassed by it," he remarked, fighting a smile.

"Of course you don't, you're a man," I retorted. _You're just happy you got laid. _I started layering the ingredients in the baking dish methodically, preparing one with the vegetable sauce and one with the meat sauce, including cheese in between.

He ignored the jab, not deterring from his point. "I can understand surprise, but people that are embarrassed are ashamed. Which is why I never felt the need to apologize when you asked me to," he argued matter-of-factly and looked over at my working process. I think he was fascinated that I took my lasagnas very seriously.

"Hell, I'm not ashamed. I was trying to be respectful and nice. If anything went broken you know I would've paid for the damage."

"That was never an issue, Bella. Besides, I helped you knock everything over." He chuckled again.

I didn't want to know what he was picturing as I started to feel a dull ache between my legs. "But the way you tease me makes me want to retract any apology I offered you in the first place."

"Good." He grinned wickedly. Somehow he had tricked me into agreeing. He always managed to do that before I realized what I'd said.

"Why are we even talking about this? I was commenting on your extravagant apartment." Edward helped me top the lasagnas with mozzarella cheese and load them in the preheated oven.

"Well then thank you, I think. It suits me," he said, mimicking my earlier comment.

"Well that's all there is to it," I said, referring to the food as a means of changing the subject completely. As we washed our hands in the sink, he stood right up next to me, our bodies touching shoulder to shoulder.

Being with him in my apartment was a lot more intimate than being with him at work. He was in my personal space and I had to admit, I enjoyed it as much as it made me uneasy. Clearing my throat, I reached for the drying towel. Our fingers brushed together when I handed it to him, causing a static shock of electricity between us. He noticed too and looked up at me with bright, questioning eyes, holding my confused gaze with his stare like two endless galaxies pulling me in. We had somehow unconsciously moved closer to each other and his lips parted as if he were about to speak.

"Something smells amazing in here," Angela breathed as her and Ben entered the kitchen, looking around for the source of the delicious smell.

Our gazes snapped apart. My face felt hot and I snuck a glance at Edward who was busy drying his hands with the towel, his face already retreating behind the expressionless mask. Perhaps I had imagined that look of fleeting, passionate inquiry.

"It's already in the oven," I answered, recovering myself with some much needed throat clearing.

"Wow, that was fast," Angela commented.

"Edward makes an excellent sous-chef," I replied without looking at him. "How about you guys set the table while I finish things up in here?"

"Sounds good," they all said in unison and laughed lightly.

I prepared a simple mixed green salad and then checked on the lasagnas. They were ready—melting and bubbling. Grabbing several oven mitts from a drawer, I was caught off guard when a second pair of hands reached for a set, too.

I gave Edward a grateful smile as he helped me take out the heavy baking dishes and set them on the stovetop to cool.

When I turned around, I saw that the table was set and Ben and Angela were already helping themselves to salad and bread. Edward and I joined the pair across the table and he unscrewed the cork of the wine bottle. We passed our wine glasses and he filled them, giving us all a generous portion.

After toasting to health and happiness, I took a curious sip. The wine was sweet and tingled with spice down my throat. It settled in my stomach with a nice, burning sensation. We eagerly began passing the food around, Edward and I bumped the salad bowl and bread basket together in our haste.

"So I hope you won't spread the secrets to Bella's lasagna recipe around," Angela said to Edward jokingly.

"Bella arranges them all with such precision, I don't think anyone could steal that kind of cooking secret," he mused.

"I should have copyrighted it just incase," I replied while buttering my bread.

They all chuckled at my seriousness.

We ate contentedly while swapping work stories. Angela always had the cutest stories about the children in her pre-school class. Ben worked as a video game developer for _Sony_ and liked to discuss the new games coming out every season. Edward surprised me by taking a real interest in both of their careers.

As we settled down again I cleared the salad bowls and brought out the lasagnas on hot plates. Edward, the gentleman he was being tonight, offered to help me.

We all cut squares and loaded our plates hungrily. It was quite a challenge as the melted cheese would stretch from the baking dish to the plate every time.

"This is delicious, Bella. We need to visit you more often," Ben said in between mouthfuls. Angela nodded with bright eyes, but was also unable to speak as her mouth was busy, too.

I turned to Edward expectantly. His face was solemn as he studied his plate and my eyes widened with worry. "Just kidding, Angela was right. This is by far the best lasagna I've ever tasted." He gave a tight-lipped smile as he chewed.

I sighed with relief before glaring at him for his little not so funny joke. He just smirked cheekily at me and sipped his wine.

"So Angela, how did you and Ben meet? Bella mentioned you all went to high school together."

"Yup, that's right. Bella joined our school junior year and we became friends instantly." She glanced at me with a sweet smile. "Ben and I got off to a rocky start. Neither of us were exactly the assertive type." I laughed at the memory as she turned to Ben with a special smile. "Ben, why don't you start off the story."

He swallowed and cleared his throat, already blushing. "I was so shy that I never had the guts to ask her out. I pretended I was indifferent, but she would complain about math class so I asked her if she needed help with Algebra."

"And I was really good at math, but I pretended I wasn't so I could study with you."

"Being together just felt right," Ben said, taking her hand in his.

"And so after months of studying together, one day after school I marched over to him and said, 'So when are you going to stop talking about the quantum mechanics of the square route of Pi and ask me out?!'" she said, laughing. "And so we've been together ever since and got married two years ago."

"You never would have been so bold if I hadn't convinced you that you were a strong, confident woman," I added.

The two of us high-fived at the table and Ben pulled her to him, planting a small kiss on her cheek.

"It was a really beautiful wedding, too." I leaned my chin in my hand, propping my elbow on the table. If there was any hope for lasting true love, Ben and Angela were sheer proof of it. I had every ounce of faith that they would always be happily married.

After dinner, we sipped our wine for a bit until I decided to clear things up. I didn't want the food to sit out and spoil. Everybody stood up from their chairs, offering to help. I laughed and resigned myself to their offers.

Angela covered the food and made room in the refrigerator while Ben helped clear the table. Edward and I stood together at the sink washing dishes. I washed and rinsed and he dried with a dishtowel as I pointed out to him which cabinets everything belonged in.

"Well, we're finished, we'll see you in the living room," Angela called.

"Great, thanks guys! Maybe you can find a movie on TV while you're in there."

I hummed while I scrubbed the remainder of the plates. I hadn't realized I was doing so until Edward joined me, humming in his deeper, velvety voice.

"Are you making fun of me?" I asked teasingly.

"Not at all," he answered innocently.

We continued humming again for a bit, washing and drying, elbows touching and hands brushing in the process.

"Thanks for coming over and helping out. You were the perfect guest."

"You are welcome Ms. Swan. Thanks for baking the best lasagna ever," he said formally.

"Ya know, you're very difficult to hate when you're being nice," I remarked, finishing the last dish.

He chuckled at my childish comment.

It seemed fitting for Edward to sit here at my table and help me in the kitchen. It turned out that it wasn't as awkward as I initially thought it would be. I suddenly imagined us many years down the road, working and quarreling together. Strangely, it was a happy picture.

"Bella?"

I focused on Edward standing in the kitchen doorway. "Huh?"

"You coming?"

I nodded, pushing the thoughts away and skipped over to join him.

We took the empty couch as Angela and Ben were occupying the large chair. Ben had his arm around her and their legs were intertwined.

"So what are we watching?" I asked as I settled into a cushion.

"_Sleepless In Seattle_," Angela replied, putting the TV remote on the coffee table.

"Oh, I just love this movie," I said excitedly.

"I know!" Angela agreed.

It had just started and I pushed myself further into the couch, hugging a throw pillow. Angela and I commented and sighed appropriately at all the adorable scenes. We yelled as if were watching a football game when Meg Ryan saw Tom Hanks for the first time across the street but leaves after he says hi to her. Ben and Edward kept making fun of us, but we didn't care.

I think the work week was finally catching up to me. I nestled down into the couch and yawned sleepily. "Oh sorry," I muttered as I felt my head droop against Edward's shoulder. I pulled away automatically, but he put an arm around me and hesitantly gathered me to his chest. Too sleepy to protest, I sighed, absorbing the softness of his shirt and fresh soap and vanilla fragrance. My eyelids felt like heavy weights and the even breathing of his chest made me drift off that much faster.

~/~/~/~

I woke up completely startled and out of touch. I was in my bed, which should have been nothing but familiar to me except I was freezing. I looked around to find my blankets kicked off and sprawled at the end by my feet.

The scent of coffee wafted into my room, stirring my senses. When I smelled coffee, nothing could deter me from the hunt. I realized I was still in my jeans and black t-shirt, which were sadly wrinkled from sleep. I slipped on my violet plaid pajama pants, a fresh t-shirt, and my old college hooded sweatshirt.

I opened my bedroom door a crack and peaked out to see Angela in the kitchen filling her coffee mug.

"Morning sunshine," she greeted as I joined her in a cup.

"Where is everybody?"

"Everybody? Oh you mean... well Ben is still sleeping and Edward went home last night," she clarified.

"Oh," I said disappointedly.

"It was very sweet actually. We didn't realize you were asleep until the credits started rolling. Edward carefully picked you up and carried you to your room."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fallen asleep with company here."

Ignoring my apology, Angela went on. "I think he even tucked you in too because when I went to check on you later after he left, you were still completely out but were nestled in a cocoon of blankets."

"Really?"

She smiled over the rim of her mug.

"What do you do when you're interested in someone, but you don't think they feel the same way, but you want to find out… but they keep switching from hot to cold and you're not even sure of your own feelings—um you know what I mean?" I felt like I was sixteen again.

"When you speak in third person it's difficult, but I think I understand you. I think it's important to figure out one's own feelings before declaring anything," she answered slowly. "You—I mean, a _person_, wouldn't want to lead another person on

"Well I did forget to mention one other thing..."

"Let's hear it," she said, resting her coffee mug on the counter, giving me her full attention.

"I sort of started dating this other guy, James. I thought it would be more bearable to be around Edward since he brushed me off at Alice's party."

"Well that does complicate things..."

"Yeah." I frowned into my coffee.

"Edward is very nice, I like him a lot."

I snorted a laugh. "He was nice last night, sure, but he's quite infuriating to be around at work. That's the hot and cold part I was referring to."

"He could barely keep his eyes off you last night. Every little movement you made, his body adjusted to it. If you crossed your legs, he inclined himself toward you. Didn't you notice how he helped you all those times in the kitchen, too?"

I stared at her like a bullfrog. "Actually I hadn't noticed all that, I was too busy being hostess." I replayed bits of last night in my mind, trying to see what Angela saw. Another thought occurred to me. "Do you think I should keep dating James to provoke Edward into an admission?" That kind of thinking would certainly get me into trouble. Wearing my heart on my sleeve wasn't an option, though.

Angela gave me a disapproving look and picked up her coffee again. "I think it's best just to be honest with him."

"If he laughs at me then I could ruin our whole working relationship, not to mention our tentative friendship." My stomach churned at the very thought.

"Well, perhaps you should find out what he thinks first. And then be honest," she added.

I nodded, mulling things over.

"Remember what you told me? 'You're a strong, confident woman,'" she said knowingly.

I cracked a smile in return, but it faded quickly. We sipped our coffee in a contemplative silence for a bit.

"Ang?"

"Yes?"

"How did you know Ben was 'the one'?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well, there's lot's of reasons. We have fun together, feel comfortable doing nothing together, and I can tell him anything because he's my best friend."

None of that coincided with how I felt about Edward, though I wasn't exactly sure _what_ I felt. "No I mean, how do you _know_, without a doubt that he's it for you." I pleaded for an answer with scrunched eyebrows and desperation in my voice.

"I don't want to live in this world without him," she answered quietly, tilting her head to peer at me.

I sipped my coffee thoughtfully. "I'm really going to miss you," I sulked.

"Me too. We'll have to plan a visit this summer," she agreed, putting a slender arm around me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, my number of reviews is in the 3 digits! That's a FIRST for me. I've been enjoying the moment so I'll never take it for granted. Thank you everyone who reviewed :)**

**Song for this chapter is **_**Caring is Creepy**_** by The Shins**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

_"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You cannot escape the results of your thoughts." - Author Unknown_

**Chapter Eight**

Monday through Wednesday was agonizingly slow. Only three days until Thanksgiving and the office felt empty. People left early to travel to their families that didn't live nearby and Edward was one of those people. He told me last week he was flying to Chicago to spend the next five days with his family.

_"You don't have relatives that are closer to Seattle?" I asked over lunch._

_"I have cousins in California, but my mother would be upset if I didn't come home. She has a particular pleasure in feeding me." _

_I giggled. The confident teasing lawyer suddenly looked like a young boy. It was rather endearing. "That doesn't sound like my mother at all. She can't cook anything except toast."_

_"Is that why you're so good at cooking?" His eyes were alight with curiosity. I didn't miss his subtle compliment, but I felt it wasn't exactly an exciting talent like flame throwing batons._

_"Well, it was a skill born out of necessity. Growing up, Renee was always more like the child and me the adult. I needed to eat real food, not her experiments."_

_He laughed loudly at that. "She sounds like an interesting parent, I'd like to meet her." He shook his head, still chuckling as he went back to his food._

_I'm sure Edward's comment was harmless enough, but I swallowed loudly at the thought of introducing Edward to my parents—ever. Any man I brought to Renee would start up a whole tizzy of wedding planning. The thought of her floundering over him as Charlie loaded his shotgun was mortifying._

_"Bella? Why do you look scared?"_

_I refocused on Edward's face. "Do I?" I asked, laughing belatedly._

_He looked at me, confused. I ducked down into my food, using my fork to stab my salad with a new urgency._

With his absence, I was able to avoid seeing him after Saturday night's dinner with Ben and Angela. Trying to figure out how to behave around him after snuggling in his arms... it was another headache. But I missed him too, the office felt like a dungeon without his presence brightening my doorway.

Thanksgiving came and went. It was always a short holiday where I attempted to be very busy cooking and eating to avoid Renee's questions about my love life. I would have been all right with it if the conversations hadn't always led to me "being single and heading into my late twenties."

Emmett also joined us as both of his parents were already deceased. I had thought it best to give my customary lecture to Emmett before Renee arrived. Over the last three years, Renee managed to wheedle information out of him about her only daughter. The poor guy never saw it coming until he was caught in the clutches of female manipulation. I had done my best to give him pointers.

Last years lesson was, _"And don't fall for the whole 'I don't want my daughter to die an old maid' mumbo jumbo."_ That was her favorite guilt tactic and Emmett would blurt out the name of my last disaster date.

This year, I gave him explicit instructions not to mention the subject of James. My two dates with him weren't leading to anything serious and I didn't think it right to get Renee's hopes up.

Thanksgiving morning I spoke with Charlie on the phone briefly.

"I'll be spending the holiday with the Blacks as usual. Jacob is real tall, I swear that kid keeps shooting up every year."

"Dad he's hardly a kid anymore, isn't he in college?"

Charlie stuttered a bit. "Well yeah... but a fine student he is. Acing all of classes on auto body and collision touch-ups," he said proudly.

Charlie didn't care too much for change, but viewing Jake as the son he never had helped him cope with me growing up I think. I remembered his eyes watering when I moved out.

I smiled into the phone. "Well, be sure to give them all my hellos and best wishes."

"Sure thing, Bells. We miss you. See you at Christmas and give my regards to Renee, too," he said gruffly.

And that was usually the extent of it. Neither of us was very good at holding a conversation over the phone.

I went to pick up my mother and Phil at the airport shortly after. She rushed to me, screaming excitedly in bright magenta while Phil grinned, carrying their luggage.

"Hi Mom," I choked out through her rib crushing squeeze.

"Bella my darling!" I barely got to greet Phil as she launched into live streaming news coverage about their flight.

I knew it was going to be a long three days, but I had survived like I did every year. I always got Phil and Emmett settled in with the TV, keeping a college game or the Thanksgiving day parade on while Renee attempted to be my sous-chef in the kitchen.

"Have you been dating anyone recently?" she prodded. _Subtle just wasn't her thing._

I gave her a negative and kept dodging on details. I looked enviously at Phil and Emmett chatting on the couch talking about manly subjects like new trucks on the market, Phil's baseball games, the President, etc. I managed to distract Renee for awhile with my story of Angela's visit—minus the mention of Edward.

"Angela is such a sweet girl, glad to hear her and Ben are still happily married..." I saw too late where that subject was going. I loudly chopped the vegetables on the cutting board to short circuit her questions on the subject any further.

Hours later the four of sat down at the table with a glorious giant turkey on a platter and steaming side dishes, completing a picture Martha Stewart would be proud of. I knew Phil would enjoy being the man of the house and asked him to slice the turkey while we passed around dishes.

Other than commenting on how delicious the food was, Emmett was unusually quiet at the table. Rarely did his booming laugh filter through the chit chat. I was eyeing him suspiciously when Renee commented, "Emmett dear, you're getting brawnier by the year, I'm surprised you haven't captured some young woman's heart by now." She plopped a second helping of mashed potatoes onto her plate.

Instead of the usual "my heart is far too big for only one fish in the sea" joke, Emmett shifted uneasily in his chair. "Well…uh...ahem…it's about the woman capturing a man's heart as well..."

I dropped the serving spoon back in the bowl of peas with shock. It made a noisy clatter.

"Bella, watch your clumsiness," Renee scolded playfully.

Emmett looked down to concentrate on his food, avoiding my eye. I didn't pursue the subject just yet, but he ate more than usual as if chewing the whole night would save him from having to answer my frequent questioning looks.

We had stuffed ourselves to the brim and I didn't think I could move for awhile. Phil continued talking about the details of his current signing in Florida while my mother jumped in with flattering comments on his wonderful coach or friendly team mates. Eventually, my curiosities were burning and I managed to lift myself out of my chair with the posture of a very pregnant woman.

"Emmett, why don't you help me clean up in the kitchen." I shot him a significant look while he squirmed like a guilty school boy in his seat. If my suspicions were correct, Emmett was in deep trouble.

He could hardly refuse in front of our guests so he swallowed a lump in his throat and grabbed some plates with his large hands. I marched off in front of him as he shadowed my steps into the kitchen. We placed the dirty dishes on the counter and I turned on the water to fill the sink with soap suds. The water filling the sink mirrored my rising anger as Emmett kept silent. I grabbed the soapy sponge and attacked the dishes, scrubbing vigorously.

"Um Bells... that vein in your forehead looks unhealthy," he said tentatively and placed a giant paw on my shoulder.

I whirled, brandishing a sponge and ladle, showering suds in my wake. "You're having an affair with a married woman!" I hissed into his face.

For a large man, Emmett was surprisingly light and quick on his feet. He jumped back, using the dish towel as a shield. "What?!" he stuttered with wide eyes.

"That's why you're keeping her a secret isn't it? Isn't it?!" The watery soap tapped down my arm, making a small puddle on the floor.

Emmett and I stared at each other as the dripping water echoed in the silence. Then he boomed his laugh at my astonished face. He kept laughing, in fact he threw his head back and roared while I stood there, dumbfounded. Minutes went by till he tried catching his breath and wiped tears from his eyes.

"Geez Bells, you're killin' me here," he finally said through gasps. He eyed the vein in my forehead and I could feel it twitching with impatience. He leaned against the counter, undisturbed. "No, I'm not involved in an affair. I can't believe you would think that." He grinned stupidly and I turned back to washing the dishes, my shoulders sagging with relief.

"Sorry," I said, feeling embarrassed by my accusation.

Feeling safe to approach me again, he came to stand beside me and dried the dishes.

"Usually you tell me about your latest conquest…" I said sorely.

He shrugged. "Well this is different. She wants to keep the relationship all hush hush for now."

He spoke of her with such familiarity that I suddenly felt excluded. "Since when are you in a relationship? What happened to roaming greener pastures? What happened to Emmett 'who the ladies' Chase?!"

He chuckled at our little joke. "Well, we aren't sure what we are yet but until things get more serious, she wants to keep it quiet and I have to respect that for now."

"You can't even tell _me_?" I asked, noting that he had evaded all my other questions.

He looked at me apologetically. "Sorry Bells. It's not that I don't want to..."

"No, it's fine. I understand your... commitment?" _Committed to keeping the secret or committed to her?_

"Thanks." He gave me the sweetest smile that I huffed a laugh in defeat.

"But explain this to me because I just don't get it. How can you give up your lifestyle so easily?"

He actually thought about it for a moment. "I haven't thought of anyone else since I met her, or even had the urge to. If I couldn't take a chance on someone that incredible, my lifestyle would suddenly seem mediocre."

"But aren't you worried about things not working out? What if it all turns out differently than you thought it would?" Of all people, I couldn't believe I was asking Emmett for advice on this subject.

"You know I'm never one to hesitate getting to know a beautiful face. I've learned that when you let a person pass you by, you let the moment pass with them. If it doesn't work out, then at least I had those moments with her. You act like I'm like deluding myself when in fact I'm embracing reality."

I couldn't quite empathize with him or agree with his reasoning. There seemed too much at stake, keeping all of one's eggs in one's basket. "You just better not get married before me," I warned, my stomach hitting rock bottom at the thought of the biggest player in town getting hitched before me.

~/~/~/~

Friday was Black Friday and Renee wanted to go shopping in Seattle very badly. This also meant she wanted to shower me with new things and I had never liked that since I was old enough to pay for myself. It was sort of a guilt thing; I didn't want to be spoiled.

"C'mon Bella, I only get to do this once a year!" she urged, fixing her scarf in the mirror under her raincoat.

"What about Phil?" He was currently waiting downstairs in the lobby for her.

"He'll find stores to go to in the mall while we go off to girly shops!" She turned to me and frowned that I wasn't ready yet.

"Oh alright, let's get mowed down by angry shoppers."

It was a long tiring day, not exactly what I pictured one of my days off from work to be. Phil had been more than happy to leave us and went in search of a _BrookStone_. Renee "oohed" and "aahed" at almost everything while I dragged along beside her. After endless suggestions, I finally allowed her to buy me a pair of slippers.

I thought of Edward frequently.

I brought my mother and Phil back to the airport on Saturday. Phil gave me a one armed squeeze with their bags in his other hand. Hugging him back, I wished him luck with all of his future baseball games. Then he left me and Renee to say our goodbyes privately.

She put her hands on my shoulders. Now that it was just the two of us for the moment, she felt the need to talk to me seriously. "Bella darling, I worry about you. Are things really alright? You seemed a bit distracted this weekend."

My shoulders relaxed a little in her hands and I looked back at her with a smile. "Mom, really I'm good. Don't worry yourself, please?"

She nodded, unconvinced and reluctant to leave me now.

"I have great friends, a good job, I'm happy here. If a man comes along who I'm serious about, you'll be the first to know," I promised reassuringly.

She hugged me tightly and glanced behind her to Phil waiting with the bags. "You're right, I'm sorry I can be overbearing sometimes. We'll see each other again soon!" She kissed my cheek and skipped off, feeling proud again to be doing her motherly duties. I waved them goodbye till they were out of sight.

As soon as the holiday was over, Alice jumped on my now free schedule come Monday morning. I was sitting at my desk trying to get back into the swing of my normal schedule. I spotted Edward across the office speaking with Jasper. It was refreshing to see him again and I smiled wistfully. Alice slashed into my weepy, forlorn gazing, suggesting we go to that museum exhibition.

"Ya know Alice, I didn't realize you were a fan of DaVinci's drawings."

"I've always been a fan of fine art." She said, sounding offended. "Plus the bouncer from Jupiter's cousin's friend Marissa is hosting opening night of the exhibition."

"Really Alice, I don't know how you meet these people."

"Never mind that. But I think it's also a good opportunity to meet James."

_Ah, there it is._

"Well, when is this opening anyway?"

"Friday. All art openings are held on Fridays," she stated, proving she was an avid fan of the arts.

"But I already made plans with him on Wednesday. Don't you think that's a bit sudden for me to see him again?" I tried recalling proper dating protocol.

"If you really like him then don't you want your friends to meet him?"

I knew she just wanted to see if James could pass her tests. Basically, she would assess his character by slyly getting his info through polite conversation and intense observation. Alice had some high expectations when it came to men that were interested in me. She had scared off a number of my suitors in the past and usually that was a convenient way for me to wash my hands of them.

Just then, the phone at my desk rang and I was grateful for the interruption.

However, with much insistence from her throughout the day, I agreed begrudgingly. I knew once she got it out of her system I would be off the hook. Alice got a jump on the planning and invited a few friends, including Edward. I was a bit nervous introducing James to this part of my life, but he was delighted when I invited him out to this shindig.

During the rest of the week, Edward almost felt like my shadow. Whenever I turned around he seemed to be looming over my desk or somewhere nearby. He brought me coffee just the way I liked it and lingered in my office to drink his with me. He stopped over to Jasper's cubicle several times and kept casting glances my way, too. And of course, I caught him because I was doing the same.

Though some of the things Edward did seemed out of the ordinary. I gaped when I saw him at the Xerox machine—which used to be a task considered beneath his job position. I wasn't complaining since I could admire his form appreciatively when his back was turned.

I wondered how he was getting any of his own work done. When I asked him this, he said, "It's been slow in my department lately and I like staying busy." I thought that was a pretty vague answer but like I said, I wasn't complaining.

We also had a lot of chit-chatting to catch up on after the long week. The rain and snow had let up for the afternoon and we took our time during our lunch hour, strolling on the sidewalk, letting the sun's light behind the clouds warm our faces.

"How was Chicago?" I asked, kicking a pebble as we walked.

He shrugged with his hands in his pockets. His scarf was wound securely around his neck and his cheeks were pink from the chilly temperature. "It was nice to be with my family, but I'm very glad to be back. My mother tends to bother me about settling down."

I laughed, my breath fogging the air. "Yours too?"

"I don't think I'm very old, but my parents got married quite young and always seemed insanely in love like newlyweds," he said ruefully.

"That's awfully sweet. I wish my parents' marriage could have lasted, but Renee is too much of a free spirit and Charlie doesn't care much for change."

He hummed thoughtfully. "I see. Well I only plan on doing it all once. That's why... I'm not the type to rush into anything unless I was sure the feeling was mutual." He kept his eyes straight ahead on the path before us.

It occurred to me that if we ever got past this sexual tension, Edward might be looking for something more. For months I had been fantasizing about him and definitely considered a-friends-with-benefits arrangement. It really was torturous being around such a good-looking person who inflamed my passions simply by arguing. But I knew in that type of arrangement one person always gets hurt. I didn't want to be that person who reciprocated his _I love you_ with _I love spending time with you_. I wasn't ready to give my heart away to a man.

We strolled in silence for a bit until an antique window display caught my attention. Edward noticed that I stopped walking and joined my side.

"I'm just looking at the cameo necklace in the corner there." I pointed to the pale pink oval with the beautiful woman's profile etched in ivory, the pendant encased in a silver intricate border. "My grandmother had one just like it, but Renee lost it years ago," I murmured with a regrettable sigh.

I looked over to see Edward glancing at his wristwatch and looking bored. "Sorry if I'm boring you," I said sharply, a bit put out by his lack of attention to my sad family memory.

"Hmm?" he inquired, looking up. We still had fifteen minutes until we were due back at the office. Was he annoyed that I had changed the subject? He started walking again, not bothering to hide his impatience.

"Nothing," I grumbled, shoving my hands in my pockets and hurried to catch up to him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Songs for this chapter are **_**I Will Possess Your Heart**_** by Death Cab for Cutie and Michael Buble's **_**Kissing a Fool**_** (love this song). **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

_"Our doubts are traitors,_

_And make us lose the good we oft might win_

_By fearing to attempt." - William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure_

**Chapter Nine**

As the week progressed, Edward's little changes in his work schedule (a.k.a. eager to please Bella Swan) kept him always nearby. He pulled off all his attentions with a strange coolness like he was trying to be unassuming. Before, he was merely helpful, perhaps a bit anxious, but now I sensed an underlying urgency beneath his actions.

Was I clueless to the notion that my lasagna dinner had been a turning point in our bizarre relationship? "_Well, I only plan on doing it all once, like my parents"_, he had said. Angela's words also surfaced in my mind. _"I think its best just to be honest with him."_ Not getting a real answer from myself, I thought it best to receive Edward's attentions with caution from now on—until I figured out what to do. I didn't take real commitment lightly, but the more I resisted the more determined Edward became.

He even had the audacity to place his hands on my hips from behind when I stood on a chair looking through boxes stored on high shelves. I looked down with surprise and then glared at his smirking face. As my luck went, I almost fell backward if it hadn't been for those guiding hands.

The few times Edward wasn't hovering nearby (I think he actually had some work to catch up on), I took the opportunity to call Emmett. This was the second time I was 'breaking my own rule' as Emmett would say. I seemed to breaking a lot of my own rules lately.

He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey Emmett, Alice is getting a lot of us together for opening night at the museum Friday. Interested?"

"Eh, doesn't sound too fun. Who's going?" I figured as much. I didn't think Emmett was into the art scene.

"Well, Alice and a few of her other friends, Jasper, me, James, Edward, and probably Rosalie. Alice has been including her a lot lately," I rambled, thinking of anyone else I knew.

"Sure, sounds good actually," he agreed quickly.

"Okay... glad you've had a change of mind."

As I hung up, Edward came into my cubicle with two coffee cups and handed me one. I immediately stopped all work and gratefully accepted it. With his free hand, he traced a tendril of my hair that had fallen in my face and slowly tucked it behind my ear. I think I had forgotten to breathe until he retracted his hand and smiled.

~/~/~/~

Before I knew it, it was the night of that Da Vinci exhibition. It was a city event around Seattle and the art scene was buzzing. People even brought magnifying glasses with them to study the drawings up close. I arrived with Emmett as James was working late and said he would meet me at the museum later on. Emmett seemed nervous tonight, casting glances around and rubbing his hands together. He even checked his short hair in the reflection of a parked car a couple times.

"You're very jumpy tonight," I commented as we approached the front doors of the museum. Many people were standing outside smoking and chatting while fliers were passed around.

"Jumpy?" Emmett choked out.

I pounded him on the back a few times, which was the equivalent of tiny Princess Fiona helping out Shrek. He eventually inhaled a ragged breath, smiling gratefully with a reddened face.

"Bella!" Alice called over the crowd, her slender arm waving in the air beside Jasper.

I hugged them in greeting and started to feel the excitement of the exhibit. Alice's excitement had the affect of being very contagious. I suddenly wanted to absorb every framed masterpiece.

"I wonder how long this will last for," Jasper said to Emmett's wandering gaze.

"I thought you 'like all forms of art'" Alice quoted from the night at Jupiter and looked up at him with an evil grin.

"Of course I do," he replied innocently with a salute and kissed the top of her head. "You're a work of art."

She gave him a playful smack, but couldn't hide the loving blush on her face.

"Let's hit the champagne table before we scope out the room." I grabbed Alice's arm, leaving Jasper and Emmett to their man-talk.

We downed our flutes with as much elegance as we could manage.

"I wish I brought a magnifying glass to this event. I feel underdressed in a way," I said, looking around the room.

"Oh I brought extras!" She unzipped her purse and handed me one, beaming.

"It's so small," I observed critically. The entire thing was no larger than the palm of my hand.

"Beggars can't be choosers," she said, offended.

"Thanks Alice." I gave her a grateful smile and she instantly brightened. _Weird how she could be a scary parent one second and switch to bubbly, cheerful the next._

We started at a corner and went through the framed drawings and sketches in order. Alice went through them a lot faster than I did and was already in the second room. I preferred to go at a slower pace, examining the light and shadow and downright skill.

"What do you see…?" a voice breathed in my ear.

I straightened, startled out of my concentration. "You scared me." I let out a breath of relief.

Edward smiled lopsided at me and leaned closer to the drawing I had been looking at. I leaned in next to him, picking up my line of sight where I left off. I used the magnifying glass along the details of the portrait's hair. The lines were incredibly fine and intricate.

He eyed the tiny instrument. "Does that even work?"

I turned to face him with a smile and flashed it expertly. "You get used to it. Would you like to try?"

He smiled and closed his fingers over mine before my hand fully released it. I watched him study the portrait with the magnifying glass and he looked like he was working back at the office again, examining documents. He straightened and looked over his shoulder at me, catching my stare of admiration. I looked away embarrassed and moved on to the next drawing.

It wasn't long until he joined my side. "Fascinating isn't it?" he murmured, his eyes locked on the framed piece. "Table cloths are boring, yet Da Vinci made this table cloth appear beautiful just by rendering it in half tones with one light source."

I tore my eyes away from his profile and looked to the drawing. "You're right, it's beautiful. Even though it's just a table cloth," I agreed.

"See that line to the right, the way it thickens and turns?" His index finger hovered over the glass that protected the drawing. I leaned in to get a better look. "He didn't use it to outline the shape, but the values of light and dark to create the shape itself. That line is actually representing a sharp shadow," he said quietly into my ear, his breath tickling my skin.

We looked at it for awhile in appreciation. I turned to face him, wondering if he wanted to move on to the next piece. We were so close our noses almost bumped and my eyes widened. I hadn't realized how much closer he was standing next to me, my shoulder almost rested in the crook of his arm. He looked equally surprised, but made no move to back away. His eyes softened and brightened with that look of passionate inquiry again as we stared at each other. The buzz of people around us disappeared and we were in our own snow globe filled with silence and the beating of our hearts.

"Sorry I'm late," a voice cut in and I felt like a bucket of cold water had been spilled over me. I blinked and saw that Edward was already a few feet away from me.

"James, hi. I'm glad you could make it." I tried smiling and recovered myself.

"And just in time too." He shot a glare at Edward.

I looked at Edward and then back to James. "Allow me to introduce a friend and coworker, James. This is Edward. Edward this is James."

They shook hands stiffly. Edward was rigid with a flexed jaw and dark blazing eyes through his solemn expression. I had never seen him look so angry, which could only be noticed by a keen observer such as myself. He was keeping his temper under tight strain while seeming calm. They kept slowly shaking hands and I realized their knuckles were white with force. I panicked a little. Putting a stop to this, I placed a gentle hand on James's arm and asked him if he wanted to look at the rest of the artwork with me.

His brown eyes flickered to mine as if he had forgotten I was there. Releasing Edward's hand, he said, "Nice to meet you."

"I guess I'll see you later, Edward," I said, a bit forlorn as James led me away.

Edward gave a slight nod of his head, still watching us.

"Bella." I heard his voice call from behind me and turned.

He held out the small magnifying glass in his hand.

I walked back to him and he dropped it in my palm. As he did this, he briefly covered my closed hand with his own while looking at me intently.

"Thanks," I said quietly, looking from his green eyes down to our hands. He let go suddenly and I returned to James's waiting form. He put an arm around my waist and we went into the second room.

James smiled a lot at me while we observed the drawings. We had had fun on our last date consisting of dinner and a movie, laughing here and there. Therefore, I felt bad only half-listening to him talk about his day at work as Edward's intense eyes flashed in my head from before.

"It seems like there were a lot of ugly people back in Da Vinci's day," he commented, breaking my thoughts.

I couldn't help giggling. A lot of the portraits were of many old wrinkly people with hooked or snout noses. "Perhaps refined lords and ladies wouldn't sit for his drawings. They just wanted oil portraits I think," I guessed thoughtfully while examining the swirl of an old man's ear with my magnifying glass.

James declined the use of the instrument when I offered, preferring to look at the whole drawing with his arms crossed over his chest.

My eyes darted around the room hoping to spot Edward, but I didn't see him at all. I also wondered where Emmett disappeared to. I assumed Alice found Jasper again and were probably finished with the gallery.

I finally spotted her loud laugh and followed the trail to the end of the exhibition. Waving to get her attention, we walked over to her and Jasper. After brief introductions, Alice began to politely interrogate James on his job, hobbies, and his opinions on politics. I sidled up to Jasper and we chit-chatted as Alice excluded us from her conversation.

"Have you seen Edward?" he asked, leaning down to me so he could speak quietly.

I shook my head and cast glances around for that wild bronze hair. "I haven't seen him since James and I parted with him over an hour ago."

Jasper furrowed his brow, his blue eyes slanting. "Odd. I haven't seen him since he first arrived. It's not like him to take off without saying goodbye…"

I didn't think anything of it until Jasper thought it was odd. I started to feel a strange sense of foreboding and looked around again.

Before we parted, Alice stepped close to my shoulder and whispered, "Don't leave without saying goodbye." Her hazel eyes gave me a meaningful look.

I frowned down at her in some confusion, but agreed.

As the night went on, more and more people were arriving and gathering at the exhibit. There really wasn't any point in examining the drawings anymore, but to observe them from a small distance with the rest of the huddling crowds. There were so many visitors that people were bumping drinks just trying to walk across the lobby where they served the arrangement of food.

James grabbed my hand so we wouldn't lose each other and whispered into my ear, "Hey, do you want to step outside for some air?"

I nodded, feeling a bit claustrophobic.

We forced our way outside, walking to the corner of the building and I instantly felt better. There were a few people already outside talking and strolling on the streets. The buzz of voices from inside still echoed in my ears so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the night air. When I opened them, James was smiling and staring at me with those dark-jeweled eyes.

"Better?"

"Much, thank you." I sighed and leaned against the brick wall of the building.

James did the same. "I had a good time on Wednesday."

"Me too, I liked the movie."

He inched closer to me, looking down at my face with a friendly gleam in his eye. "How about we ditch this joint, hmm?"

"It's still early," I said with a frown. "Plus, I should tell Alice if I'm going anywhere."

It was his turn to frown. "You need her permission?" he asked, stroking my arm with his hand as a means to further convince me.

"No it's not that, but she's my best friend. I should at least see her before I go so she doesn't worry."

"Why would she worry, you're with me," he said huskily and kissed my smiling lips.

I was a little taken aback by his insistence to leave, but kissed him anyway in hopes that he would stay put. Despite the moment, doubt pricked my mind as to the whereabouts of Edward. _Jasper was just making me worry for no reason… Edward was a big boy and if he decided to leave then... but why didn't he say goodbye?_ I almost growled against James's lips, completely annoyed with my internal argument.

We kissed for awhile until his tongue started hitting my teeth, fighting for entrance. I tried to wind things down a notch. After all, we were still in a public area. He only became more eager by my withdrawal and snaked an arm around my waist, pressing me close between him and the wall. I was wedged in as James's lips kept repeatedly crashing into mine and I was running out of my air supply. I squirmed away a little and broke off, breathing hard.

"I like you a lot Bella, I know you like me, too," he said in a heavy voice, kissing me hard again.

"Yeah, but you need to calm down. This isn't the proper time for all this," I gasped, my eyes wide and flickering to the small social groups further up by the entrance.

"It's never the right time for you, well you can stop playing hard to get tonight." He kissed me again and I shrieked into his mouth, pushing at his chest with my small hands.

Realizing that I must have misjudged James' character was just as terrifying as my current predicament. I tried kneeing him in the groin, but he turned his leg in, blocking me. The attempt only spurred him on and he pressed my spine into the brick wall painfully.

"No—!" He cut me off with his mouth on mine again as I squirmed. My insides clenched with panic and adrenaline.

I tried hiding in the blackest part of mind, blocking out what was happening as my hopes deflated into ever being free of him. _How far would this go?_

And then my silent prayers were answered as James was wrenched away by a pair of hands and the cold air rushed onto my body in place of his violation. My wet eyes blinked open to Jasper putting his arms around me comfortingly, asking if I was alright.

I nodded meekly, throwing my arms around him as my anxiety lessened. I looked past his shoulder to see James being held by Edward while Emmett began rough-housing him, getting in a punch or two before they sent him off.

Edward caught my eye and the emotions in them mirrored my own of scare and relief.

"You better not show your face around us again," Emmett growled dangerously as James limped off like a wounded animal. His dark eyes—or rather eye as one was already swelling shut—flashed at me with betrayal before he disappeared into the dark streets.

Jasper continued to comfort me with soothing words and a tight arm around my shoulders.

I looked up at him with a shaky smile though it came out more as a grimace. "How did you…"

He shushed me as Emmett and Edward tentatively came over. "I was outside taking a smoke break when I saw you. Are you okay now?"

I nodded, afraid to speak anymore as I felt my chest belatedly swell with a sob. Edward took one of my hands in his and caressed it soothingly.

"He's gone Bells. He won't be back," Emmett stated, still burning with angry testosterone. "That son of a bitch...to think I introduced you two... I say we go after him just to make sure." He punched a fist into his hand.

"Forget him, Emmett," Edward said with authority, keeping his eyes on me. "Jasper, why don't you get Alice and let her know what's up. I'll stay with Bella."

Jasper nodded and handed me into Edward's embrace.

"I need to tell my uh, date where I am so she doesn't worry, or do you need me to stay?" he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head. "I'll be right back then." His gaze flickered around for any other signs of danger as he bounded off.

I hadn't realized I was shaking until Edward led me to a bench nearby, supporting my wobbly legs. He held me closer tucking my head under his chin and caressing the side of my face. He kept whispering, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry."

I pulled away to look up at him. "Why are you sorry?"

He sighed to rein in his own temper. "I was almost too late," he said, rubbing a hand through his hair in agitation, making it stick up. "I owe Jasper. If anything happened to you...asst." He broke off, unable to finish the thought aloud and snapped his teeth.

"Where have you been all night?" I couldn't help it sound like an accusation.

His lips parted to speak staring at me for a moment, weighing his options. "I didn't like the feeling I was getting from him, so I followed you ever since he picked you up. When it got crowded, I lost sight of you. If I had been paying better attention it wouldn't have been so close," he admitted regrettably.

I should have been creeped-out that he trailed me, but I was overwhelmed with a surge of pleasure. I put a hand to his face and cradled his cheek. "It's my fault, not yours. I was too blind-sided to see him for the threat that he is." My voice was thick and I blinked back tears.

He sighed heavily, trying to calm himself and took my hand off his cheek to kiss my knuckles. A warm tingle was left at the spot and my stomach fluttered. "It was never your fault, no one deserves to be treated that way. Especially you," he said quietly.

I inched closer in his arms and played with his shirt collar with my fingers. "Thank you," I whispered, looking up to his eyes. They were a dark emerald, filled with fading anger and concern for me.

I needed him.

I leaned up, placing lingering kiss at the base of his throat. He breathed in sharply and closed his eyes as I lightly kissed a trail up his neck, jaw and chin. He opened his eyes slowly through heavy lids and I saw that he wanted me. I paused, wanting to savor the moment. Then I placed my lips on his with a sigh, moving them shakily. He kissed me back gently, cautiously as if he were afraid to hurt me. I pressed myself closer to him and he placed a hand at the back of my neck, holding my face to his with the gentlest pressure. My lips moved with his more deeply, desperately. His mouth was soft and warm and I wanted to lose myself in him after months of dreaming about it.

After several minutes he braced his hands on my shoulders, keeping me in place as he pulled back a few inches from my face. I opened my eyes in confusion. His expression was desperate and unsure, and something else I couldn't figure out.

"I don't think this is the best idea right now," he said in a hoarse voice. I felt like I had been slapped. Seeing my expression he rushed on. "You must be in shock and… tired. I understand your upset and need someone right now but—"

"You kissed me out of pity?" I whispered, slowly but firmly unhooking myself from his arms.

"No!" His face grew alarmed as he tried to reach for me. "I just want to make sure you know what you're doing. I don't want to be your leftovers, your cushion."

I stood up, fighting to regain my balance. So this is what he thought my kiss meant to him. "No, you could never be that to me Edward Cullen." And because I was hurt and angry I added, "You're too damn cold as stone to be a cushion."

His face fell, but he made another attempt to draw me back to him. I didn't need him to comfort me anymore while sugar coating another rejection. I couldn't stand it stalked off.

"Bella, wait! The others will be back soon and—"

"Just stop Edward!" I shouted at him. "Give it a rest, I get it," I said more quietly and I ran off down the street, letting the wind hit my lungs.

When I was out of sight, I stopped behind a building and let out a sob, my chest constricting painfully. A pattering rain started to fall and I welcomed it. _What was wrong with me? Why did I keep screwing up?_ My spine was sore from the brick wall, my lips felt swollen, but my chest hurt most of all, stabbing and aching with the feeling of loss and regret. I walked the rest of the way home, hugging myself and letting the droplets wash away my feelings, begging for numbness.

* * *

**Don't hate me! But did you really think I would wrap up all these complications up in a pretty package? **

**All things shall be explained in time—I'm a hopeless romantic deep down. Please review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Songs: Hello/Goodbye by Erin McCarley **

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it." - Krishnamurti_

**Chapter Ten**

My room was dark and gray and silent. I tried drifting into unconsciousness, putting everything out of my mind and the stupid thing I had done. I tossed and turned in between dreams, slipping in and out of sleep. My phone beeped, the muted sound stirring my hazy state of avoidance. At first, I looked at the screen through heavy eyes, noticing that I had messages. I slid the phone across the room into a pile of laundry and went back to sleep.

Hugging my pillow tightly, I wrapped my blankets around me, forming a cave where I could peacefully wallow. Hours went by as I intermittently slept, having no sense of what time it was. But I didn't care—my curtains stayed shut. Anything I could do to escape from reliving last night could be endurable. Somewhat.

James? Who's James? Just some guy I could barely recall. He's not _him._

I didn't want to think about his smirks and lopsided smiles. The way his slender hands ran through his unruly hair. His soft chuckles and simmering green eyes, knocking down every little brick that protected my heart. When I'd wanted him to be nice, he played the bad guy that drove me to frustration. Now he played the good guy when I wanted him to be bad, to take advantage of me when I needed mindless sex and his comfort.

So I slept, inviting the comfort of darkness, allowing it to plant seeds of bitterness.

Before long, I was swimming deep under water, my hair floating around me and passing in front of my eyes. I thought it was strange that I could breathe without oxygen, but I didn't wonder beyond that. I kept picking up shells and corals, turning them over to see what was inside. I was searching, but not finding and not knowing what I was looking for. It seemed to go on for hours. I kicked my feet, skimming through the water, turning over every last coral on the sea floor.

Then a whisper floated to my ears, muffled and quiet.

I strained to hear it and curiously floated towards the darkness ahead of me. It was whispered and enchanting, calling to me. I approached closer, enveloped in the dark water as it cast blue shadows on my pale skin.

_Here_. The ghostly voice called close by, the sound was spoken in my mind.

I whirled around against the water's current and froze to see two glowing green eyes from the blackness.

_Who are you?_ my mind asked.

He shook his head in the shadows, only his eyes moved from side to side with the action.

I tried another question, asking telepathically again. _What do you want?_

_What do you want?_ he mimicked in a hauntingly beautiful voice.

Confusion spread over. _What are you talking about?_

A small orange fish swam around, circling his hidden form. His eyes beckoned me closer and the water's current dragged me forward.

_Wholoobore. _

That's exactly what it sounded like. A muffled word. _What?_

He spoke louder and more forceful, but the words only sounded like more choked and stifled echoes.

_I can't understand. _The voice in my mind pleaded with him.

His glowing, green eyes narrowed. All of a sudden the core of my chest began to freeze, the cold prickle spreading out from the center.

_Stop that!_ I clawed frantically at my chest.

_Stop that,_ he mimicked in a scolding tone like I was inflicting this upon myself. He retreated into the darkness, every inch of space that grew between us made my chest colder.

'Wait!' I shouted, but it was gurgled as a stream of bubbles flew from my lips. I kicked at the water, wading through it with my arms. After the green eyes dimmed, I tried keeping the little orange fish in sight, but my limbs were heavy and my chest started to completely freeze over. I didn't need to breathe underwater, but the coldness dragged me down, chasing the life right out of me.

I sunk to the ocean floor cradling my chest, my hair falling and floating in front of my face. I pushed it away with a jerk of my head and saw an old decrepit form sitting nearby on the ground. She lifted her head slowly against the water's weight and looked up at me with my brown eyes.

I gasped.

I looked down at my hands; they were also wrinkled and withering. _She's me! That's me! My reflection! My—! _A scream churned up my throat and a shower of bubbles burst from my lips.

Consciousness slapped me in the face. My frightened eyes snapped open and I sat up, my torso flinging upright in my bed. I must have looked like an asylum escapee with my sweaty hair and wild eyes.

I had a visitor sitting at the end of my bed, watching me.

"What are you doing here?" I croaked, catching my breath.

"If you had answered your phone, you would know."

I sorely wished it had been Emmett instead.

"I left you eight messages, twenty missed calls, and sixteen text messages," she started out in a steely calm voice that had risen with each word.

"Only Emmett has my spare key, how did you get in here?" I accused.

Her anger cut out for a moment as she replied to my tangent. "Well I started hollering at the side of the building for a neighbor to come out and lower the fire escape. Then an old man opened his window and threw an apple core at me! Can you believe it?!" she asked me, completely affronted by the gesture.

I just stared at her with bulging eyes and my jaw hanging slightly.

Alice looked like she was about to roll up her sleeves. "Well I showed him! I threw the apple core back at his window and ran away. I decided to play the waiting game instead and sat outside on the doorstep till a neighbor let me in on his way out. Easy. And highly unsafe, you should really get that checked out." She folded her arms across her chest with a huff. "Stupid old man, that ought to show him. I hope his next apple breaks his dentures."

I laid back down, letting my head hit the pillows with a small groan, though it came out more like a whine. Was I so distressed last night that I didn't even lock my apartment door, too? Or maybe she had her own lock picking set—that seemed more likely.

Alice moved to sit on the bed next to my rag doll form. "Bella, you scared the crap out of all of us!" she finally exploded.

I winced a little. I'd never seen her so upset before.

"Jasper told me what happened and when I come outside you'd suddenly disappeared and Edward wouldn't say what happened except that you ran away.

In the dark. By yourself. In the city.

After what happened, I'm surprised James didn't tail you home! And then we didn't hear from you all night."

The weight of her words hit me hard. I sat up a little, rubbing my sweaty forehead and mouth with the back of my hand, making sure I hadn't foamed at the mouth during my bizarre dream. "I don't know what to say, but I know sorry isn't going to cut it. I'm a terrible person, aren't I?" I mumbled with my head hanging in shame.

Alice stood up and left the room. My head snapped up in surprise. Would Alice not forgive me? As the seconds ticked by my level of uneasiness grew. I shifted uncomfortably in my bed. It had become so dead silent that I heard the tick of my digital clock on the night stand.

Suddenly she came back in and set a glass of water down on my night table. I let out a heavy sigh of relief and gulped it down gratefully. She then jumped in the bed, all was forgiven, and squished herself in next to me.

"I should call Emmett and tell him I'm alright," I said, still feeling terrible.

"No need. Once I saw you I texted everyone."

"Everyone?" I asked, thinking of Edward.

"Everyone," she confirmed.

"How long have you been here for?" I asked grouchily.

"Only a few minutes before you woke up."

"Hmph."

"So what happened last night?" she asked in a gentler tone, getting right down to business.

"I messed up everything. I completely overlooked James's character and failed to pick up on his strange quirks. We had laughs and a few good times hanging out, but I should have sensed his demons bubbling beneath the surface. Perhaps part of me suspected," I admitted, remembering his dark stares, "I just didn't want to believe it. No one ever thinks something bad will happen to them until it actually does."

"You remember me asking you not to leave without saying goodbye?" I nodded, understanding. "Yeah well, I thought we could all leave together as a precaution. He was jumpy ya know. When you and Jazz were talking closely, he kept looking at you like you were his property. I didn't like it even though he was friendly. His words didn't match his body language," Alice concluded.

"I should send every guy to you before even considering a first date." I sighed tiredly, but managed a weak smile.

She giggled. "There is one person I approve of. But you already knew that."

My face scrunched up, knowing she was referring to Edward.

"So what happened with him? He looked upset after you ran off but wouldn't say why exactly. He's the first person I couldn't force a confession out of. This has never happened to me before." She crossed her arms, disgruntled by this new revelation.

My smile faded as I realized she could force one out of me and I didn't want to relive last night. I focused on my fidgeting hands in my lap.

"When Jasper and Emmett left, Edward stayed behind with me. He was so unbelievably nice and caring." I fingered the spot on my knuckle where he had placed his lips. "I thought I was reading the signals correctly and I kissed him."

Alice gasped with a smile and covered her mouth with her hands, almost squealing.

"Yes, it was like heaven," I admitted. "I don't know how far that kiss would have gone but after awhile he stopped it." I looked up into Alice's eyes. "He told me he didn't want to be used as just any guy because I was upset."

Her eyes widened like twin cobra snakes. "He said what?!"

"He was right," I said, swatting my hand in the air and looking down glumly. "From his perspective that's exactly what it looked like and he was right to say it."

Alice's mouth snapped shut.

"Later on, I began to understand his words. He didn't want to be just a fling." I turned back to her face. "But… something more." _Did I look as terrified as I felt?_

"I thought that's what you wanted." She looked at me evenly.

"I... I don't know." I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks and I had to release the building pressure in my chest or I would cease to breathe.

Before I knew it, words continued spilling out of my mouth. "All we do is argue about stupid things, but when we get along its how it should be and then somewhere along the way our bickering changed, stirring these feelings in me and it's even better than getting along. How fucked up is that? What used to be unpleasant is now appealing somehow. I think about him all the time, even when I'm fuming about something annoying he did, and my schedule at work revolves around him. And it's sick because I can't get enough of it all."

"Bella, that's great! You need to tell him!" Alice exclaimed, sitting upright.

I blinked back my tears. "What? No! You heard what he said last night. It's Edward-freakin-Cullen. Gorgeous, irritating Edward Cullen. _All or nothing_ Edward Cullen." I sighed shakily and wiped my tears away.

Alice politely offered the box of tissues from my night table and I mopped my face. I hugged myself and sunk back into my pillows. "He's not going to say 'Gee Bella I think you're swell. How bout we exchange digits and I'll take you on a date.' It's too late for that."

"Why?" she asked with a frown.

"Why would a guy turn down a vulnerable, pretty woman that clearly wanted him? I think he wants something real and lasting. I can't give him that."

"Of course you can," Alice said firmly, but soothingly.

"I can't. My own parents were never a shining example and every guy I've met was no good. How am I supposed to just put all of my trust into a man that's been confusing me for months? And now...I'm scared shitless, even if I am inspired to try."

We sat in silence for a bit while I regulated my breathing and continued to mop my face, which was currently swollen red. Alice patiently rubbed my back in comfort. The pressure in my chest dissipated when my words escaped, leaving a dull ache in its place.

Alice finally got up and thrust my curtains open, the sunlight blinded me with its merciless rays. When my sniffles subsided she asked quietly, "Can I tell you something?"

I shrugged, knowing she was going to anyway.

She joined me back on the bed. "Last night we searched for you on the streets nearby, after you disappeared. After an hour we gave up but Edward wouldn't stop looking for you. We had to convince him for a long time and I think he only gave in just to shut us all up." Alice sighed at my owl-eyed stare, dismissing the subject for now. She grabbed her purse from the floor and took out a bag of chocolates. "Just what the doctor ordered," she said cheerfully and tore it open.

I laughed and thought of Edward's delicate dish of chocolates, bringing on a wave of more hiccupping tears. "How did you know?" I asked, unwrapping a piece.

"Well I'm no psychic, but I had a funny feeling."

~/~/~/~

I trudged to work Monday morning feeling terrible still. I cast furtive glances here and there with my raccoon eyes (not having a good night sleep can do that) trying to steer clear of that one person.

When I had dug through my laundry for my phone on Sunday, I diligently went through all my messages. Most were from Alice, two from Emmett, and one from Edward. I listened to his voicemail with my heart slamming against my ribs.

"_Bella, its Edward. Alice gave me your number. Look, we need to talk and... and I hope you're okay. Call me when you get this."_

But I didn't. Instead, I saved the message just so I could hear his voice whenever I wanted to. _Pathetic!_

The office environment was the usual of phone calls and papers faxed, filed, printed, and signed. People talking and barking orders. Deadlines and deadlines. I skirted through it all and plunked myself down in my desk chair with a sigh, though I felt anything but relief. I wondered how I was going to make it through the entire day.

I looked down at my desk to see lots of chocolates arranged into a giant happy face.

"Good morning!" Alice exclaimed, making me jump. "You like my creation?" she asked, referring to the chocolate.

"I've told you that you're wonderful, right?"

"And! I brought you this plant to brighten up your desk," she announced and handed me a little banzai tree.

I laughed a little. "Something low maintenance. Thanks," and lightly petted the leaves.

"So, can we go shopping this week?"

"Ugh, I knew there was something! Alice...." I grumbled.

"Please Bella, I'm on the hunt for the prefect dress for the office Christmas party."

"Alice, that's not for another two and half weeks."

"You know how picky I am. I'll probably have to get the dress altered, too because of my height. Plus, I know it'll get your mind off things," she added.

"With such compelling arguments I don't see how I can resist."

"That's your problem Bella, you resist too much," she said with a giggle and playfully nudged my slumped shoulder.

"One of them," I mumbled.

I was on edge all day, anxiety attacks are never good for the heart. I kept looking up every time someone passed in the doorway with a twisted stomach, praying that Edward would stay away.

Eventually I got up, stretching my stiff limbs. I needed to ask Rosalie about a case and this was as good a time as any. As in, there probably would never be a good time anymore but I couldn't hide in my office and get all my work done, it was impossible. I walked over to her office with my memo pad. Her door was ajar.

Edward was in there talking with her and Mr. Lawrence when I gently pushed the door open. I could feel a fresh wave of anxiety and immediately turned around to leave.

"Isabella," Rosalie called.

I closed my eyes briefly and turned around in the doorway. "I just had a question, but it can wait," I said quickly, avoiding Edward's gaze.

"Actually, we've hit a snag in the Madison case."

"It's a real pain, too," Mr. Lawrence added gruffly.

Rosalie handed me a slip of paper with a phone number scratched on it along with the case folder. "I was just going to buzz you. We're having trouble getting a previous case file opened, it's got a red seal."

I looked up surprised. Red sealed files were usually completely off limits.

"We need the mother to give us authorization to access it. The father won't budge. It's got documents in there of utmost confidentiality concerning a similar past incident with their son. But without it we don't have a good foundation for our current case against him," she explained.

I nodded already intrigued and determined. Mr. Lawrence gave me a hopeful smile. I returned it and let my gaze slip to Edward's for a second. He was staring at me anxiously. I had to get out of there.

"I'll do my best," I said to Mr. Lawrence and left the room. My heart was pounding, matching each of my quick footsteps across the floor.

As the lunch hour approached I was relieved to learn that Edward was out at some business lunch with Mr. and Mr. Lawrence and a client. The afternoon was just as unbearable.

Falling asleep was becoming a bad habit. It was how my mind tried escaping reality today. I pinched myself several times and even stuck my head out the window with eyes glued open. I did whatever I could do to stay at my desk because I knew Edward wouldn't approach me as we were now. My desk was my territory and he would want to talk in a communal space, on equal ground. That was the respectful thing to do, though he would probably corner me like giant winged bat on our equal ground anyway.

My efforts of staying awake were in vain. I shut the window with irritation. I strummed my fingers on my desk, debating. I was never a patient sort of person. I picked up my empty coffee mug and willed myself to stand up. I stretched and yawned and... almost fell asleep on my feet. Like a backstage conspirator at a play, I edged my way to the door and peered around the wall.

My gaze combed the area for that bronze head of hair. Everything seemed normal enough. I held my breath and half-jogged half-tiptoed to the kitchenette. I exhaled with small relief, but there was no time to relax. I grabbed the coffee pot, splashed the dark liquid in my mug, and skidded across the counter to messily douse it in cream and sugars.

"I thought I'd find you here," a voice loomed up behind me.

I whirled around, clenching the countertop with my lower back pressed against it. My chest rose and fell rapidly like a skittish rodent pursued by that winged bat I had imagined him to be moments ago.

"I didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright?" he asked, but it sounded like he was really asking, _why are you afraid of me?_ Even so, whether he was referring to my heart rate or Friday night, I wasn't sure.

I straightened with as much dignity as I could manage and turned my back on him, pretending to salvage my coffee. Of all things, I didn't want to break down and cry in front of Edward. But I was also angry. We had a safe if not strange relationship and then he went and ruined it all.

"Why do you care?" I asked in a tight voice.

He placed a hand on the edge of the counter, but was wary of invading my personal space. "You look like you hate me."

"I do hate you," I blurted, knowing full well that I didn't mean it and looked up to his face. Big mistake.

"You're lying." His eyes didn't even have to search mine, he just knew. His hand on the counter balled into a fist at his side and he looked angry now, too. His green eyes probed at me from under his brows as his jaw flexed. He was about to say something more when a loud voice suddenly floated through the doorway.

"And Marge! If Mike calls just send him through! I'll change my appointment for tomorrow." Jessica was all brightness and bubbly as she sashayed into the room with her own empty mug.

Unaware of the tension in the room, she greeted me with a nod. Then she glanced at Edward with a smile. "Hi, Edward." Her smile dripped with honey as his name rolled off her tongue.

I could survive on black coffee. I picked up my mug and walked out of the room.

A couple hours later my stomach felt deteriorated. I didn't know how Edward could drink this stuff without the cream and sugar. The bitterness lingered in my mouth and the acid was seriously giving me heartburn. But at least I was awake.

I thought the end of the day would never come. As I was packing up my things, Alice came to my desk already dressed in her coat and bag.

"Don't forget about our shopping trip this week," she reminded.

I nodded and continued gathering my stuff together. She gave me a comforting squeeze on my arm before departing.

I hurriedly took the stairs down to the parking garage. It was only six floors, round and round each flight swirled my thoughts into a blender. I was racing to the finish line which took the form of the last heavy door. I yanked it open expecting release. _Freedom!_

I stopped short a few feet away from my black Mercedes when I was confronted with Edward's form lazily leaning against the door of the driver's side.

Just his presence made me uneasy. Within one moment, one confrontation, Edward Cullen turned me into a weak person. Bella Swan cowers in the face of commitment.

He uncrossed one of arms and looked at his wristwatch. "Not bad Ms. Swan. Two minutes and thirty-six seconds since dismissal."

I glared at him, my mouth tightening into a frown. So he was going to play it up like that was he? Trying to get under my skin and provoke me with his sarcasm.

"What are you running from?" he inquired with a raised brow.

"Running _to_," I corrected. "I'm running to my car."

"You're running to your car," he repeated flatly.

I raised my chin a notch as we glared at each other.

His arms were cross over his chest and he looked anxious and determined at me. "You never called me back."

I didn't answer, my eyes darting to the car as thoughts of escape entertained my mind.

He noticed my averting glance and straightened, walking toward me slowly like a lion stalking his prey. My stubbornness wavered. I gulped loudly and I was sure he could hear my heart hammering wildly like a hummingbird trapped.

"We need to talk about Friday night," he said evenly, stopping right in front of me, our chests almost touching.

"There's nothing to talk about," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. As I started to walk past him, he grabbed me by the shoulders to prevent me.

"You have no idea what this weekend has been like, worrying about you." His voice was heated now and I was forced to meet his gaze. I saw beneath his anger that he looked tired, too, but his blazing eyes kept trying to find a path into my very soul. To find that opening in the brick wall he had created.

"Alice told you where I was," I answered curtly.

"But I didn't hear from _you_. I've been thinking about that night, going over and over it in my head. If I had just been honest with you instead of letting my pride get in the way," he said with a new urgency, his words flowing out low and rough, "everything could have turned out differently."

"I'm sorry for kissing you, okay? Is that what you want? I'm sorry for throwing myself at you? For using you?" I rushed out, getting hypnotized by his stare.

I felt increased pressure on my shoulders as his hands tightened perceptively. "No, that's not what I want. I mean yes, it's what I want." He inhaled a frustrated breath. "_You_ is what I want. Not your apologies anymore."

"Me," I repeated in disbelief.

'Yes. You. All of you." He was inches from me that I could see the hair follicles of his reddish, brown, blonde? stubble and the flecks of green in his eyes. They were a grass green in the center to emerald fanning out to the edges with a thin yellow ring around his pupil.

He continued to study my face. Whatever he saw made his eyes change, the feelings in them unraveled behind the conviction of his words. His face remained solemn and tight and then his eyes became guarded again. He knew I wasn't ready, that I would reject him.

My shoulders slumped in his grasp. "I can't," I whispered. "Please Edward, I need to go…" I pleaded in a cracked voice as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. This was exactly what I had feared, that one of us would get hurt somehow. I refused to meet his gaze anymore and concentrated on the door handle to my car.

One by one his fingers released me gently.

If I hadn't been desperate to leave, my bones would have turned into a puddle on the ground. I got into my car and started the engine with fumbling fingers, tears threatening to spill over. It seemed like I couldn't catch my breath fast enough, but I wiped my eyes in order to drive. _Who was this man to be changing all of these feelings inside me?_ Confused and scared, I panicked, not knowing what to do yet.

When I pulled out of my parking space, Edward was gone.

~/~/~/~

"What do you think of this one?" Alice asked, holding up a sequined dress.

Startled out of my brooding thoughts of yesterday in the garage, I answered, "Nice."

"I knew you weren't paying attention. This is absolutely hideous," she remarked, shoving the dress back on the rack.

"Sorry. I was—"

"Wallowing in self pity," she interrupted. "Well I won't let you do that. Since you won't fix your personal life, you'll have to muster your strength and be useful for me. What do you think about this one?" she asked, grabbing another dress off the rack.

"It's ugly," I answered, observing the sea-foam-green fabric.

"Good. We're making progress."

I followed her around the department store as she filled her cart with dresses of all kinds.

"Geez Alice, how many are you planning to try on?"

"Half is for you," she replied casually.

"Alice... I don't want to try on any of this," I said, feeling cranky.

She sighed. "Bella, remember how we talked about you resisting too much?"

"And remember what happened the last time you dressed me?"

"That was a Halloween costume, completely different than what I have in mind this time," she stated, completely undisturbed by my mood.

"If you're planning on dolling me up for Edward, you can think again."

"Well there won't be any masks this time. Can't use the same trick on you twice." She put a finger to her chin thoughtfully.

"That was one of your tricks?!" I sputtered, stopping short in my tracks.

"And a good one it was, too. I got Jasper to convince Edward in choosing a costume with a mask also," she cheerfully admitted. Then her expression darkened. "If only you two hadn't screwed it up, it was the perfect plan." She sighed wistfully and pushed her cart forward to another rack.

I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose to calm myself. I didn't think I could handle hearing the details of that plan—or any other. I hurried to catch up to her.

"You're trying to give me gray hairs, aren't you?" I accused, defeated by her unstoppable force.

"Gosh no, how unfashionable to be prematurely gray," she replied offhanded, eyeing another dress and glancing at my body type.

I put my hands on my hips. "Alice, be serious. You know my current predicament. The last thing I want to do is interest Edward any further."

Continuing to examine the dress, she countered, "Well if you won't do it for Edward than do it for you. It's about time you felt good about yourself again."

She had a point. "Fine. But that's the last dress." I snatched it out of her hands and plunked it in the cart.

"Fine." She pretended to be hurt, but the corner of her lips curled into a smile. She looked rather satisfied with herself.

We tried on dresses for over an hour. The good thing about shopping with a girlfriend is that you have a second pair of hands to zip you up. I conceded to picking out a handful that I liked, but Alice disapproved of all my choices.

"I thought this was about me feeling good about myself, so why can't I buy one that I want?" I asked irritably in a pretty white dress.

"Yes, but trust on me this. You can't wear white to an evening party, plus it makes you look all washed out. And this green one here," she referred to the dress draped over the door, "makes your pale complexion sallow." She barged into my changing room, pulling away more dresses from my sad collection.

Then she rummaged through the pile overflowing from the cart. I was afraid her tiny form would be swallowed alive in the mass of fabrics. It would be a fitting end.

"What are you smiling about?" She looked over her shoulder at me skeptically.

I rearranged my face into pure innocence. "Nothing."

"Here." She shoved a new dress into my hands, spun me around, and pushed me back in the dressing room.

I scowled as I slipped the dress on. I came out and Alice's ready hands zipped me up.

"We have a winner!" she exclaimed.

I went to the tri-paneled mirror to see for myself. It was black, simple, and the fabric was exquisite.

"You may be right about that," I agreed and turned to check out my form from other angles. "Um, you don't think it's a bit vivacious do you?" It certainly showed off a lot of my curves.

Alice laughed high pitched. "It's only showing off what God gave you. Plus Rose will be there outshining us all anyway."

"I suppose." I turned to face her. "Alright, can we go now?"

* * *

**Mdots did an amazing thing and started a thread for this story on Twilighted where some discussion has already taken place. You can go support, analyze, vent, whateva on the thread. I'll also be posting teasers for next chapters there, too. Link is on my profile :)**

**Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. **


	11. Chapter 11

Well, we are all so in love with Edward Cullen that when it comes to IHYKM we forget that there is more going on here than just 'happily ever after'. When we look at their character development, we see two strong similar personalities that clash. If Bella just took the plunge because Edward is suddenly ready, well that seems like a weak quality in comparison to her strong ideals. She has her theories and bad experiences with men, which is a reoccurring theme throughout the story starting with chapter one. Bella is just beginning to become aware of these deeper feelings for Edward beyond the argumentative/friendly/flirting. And even though Bella understands why Edward stopped their kiss at the museum, he basically ruined their friendly bantering relationship by declaring himself, and she just isn't ready for that after months of mixed signals. Persistence doesn't make Edward qualified, but it sure does help. I need Bella to be 100% in love with Edward, don't you?

I don't intentionally leave readers in the dark or wriggling in frustration but since you've kept up with me for ten chapters, I owe ya! Most of you that did get it, congrats! Here's another chappy. =)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

_"Use soft words and hard arguments." - English Proverb_

_"I know love and lust don't always keep the same company." - Stephenie Meyer_

**Chapter Eleven**

All weekend I stared at my phone. I even tried rubbing it like a magic genie lamp for answers to life's mysteries. I wasn't waiting for a call but...debating on doing the calling. I needed to talk to Edward but...not on the phone.

After last Monday in the garage, Edward had disappeared. And I don't just mean in the garage, he actually disappeared for the rest of the week. Apparently he was on a business trip, which I found just a little too convenient. Even if he was, I suspected his true intentions were to avoid me. And why wouldn't he?

Still, I thought of calling him.

Being patient was never my strong suit. _Remember what happens when you act on impulse?_ Yeah, I'd rather not think about James right now.

I scrolled through the numbers on my phone until the highlighted bar rested on his name. I sighed, feeling pathetic again. But my thumb rested on the Send button. Just a little pressure and--

_knock knock_

Who the hell makes house calls on a Sunday morning? I flung the blanket aside and sluggishly rolled off the couch. When I got to the door I peered through the peep hole. I sighed again and unbolted it.

"Hey Marc," I said, forcing a smile on my face.

"Mornin' Bella!" He greeted, looking down at me through his magnified bifocals. They made his eyes look like a pair of giant alien fly eyes.

I shunned his cheeriness away like daylight. "Can I help you with something?"

"Uh yeah, sorry to bother you on a weekend but I thought you would be a good neighbor and let me borrow a bit of sugar for my morning coffee, I ran out," he explained, looking hopeful and rubbing the back of his neck with a gangly arm.

"Oh! Yeah sure wait right here," I replied quickly and began feeling more alert. I poured half a cup of sugar into a Ziplock bag for him.

When I came back to the doorway I caught Marc rubber-necking, trying to observe the inside of my apartment. He had an eager and curious expression like he was going through a woman's underwear drawer. He craned his neck back inside the doorway when I handed him the sugar and thanked me profusely as if he owed me a debt in the future or something. I told him it really wasn't necessary since it was just a 'neighbor thing', and closed my door with a few last hasty goodbyes.

Alice's shopping trip had cheered me up a bit. I wasn't going to admit that to her, otherwise it would go to her head.

I tried not to mope come Monday morning. I bumped my forehead to my desk with a frustrated groan. Edward chose the one person that didn't want to give it up. Sure, I could start a relationship just because I was dying to run my tongue all over him again and wake up to his sleeping face without that smirk, but hell, that wouldn't really be fair to him when things didn't work out—like I knew they wouldn't.

How "emo" was he anyway? Didn't guys usually just want non-committal sex?

I shook my head, rolling it side to side on my forearm. _Nah, Edward was anything but Mr. Sensitive._ What kind of man would put up with my shit for this long when he wasn't even reaping the sexual benefits? He was either a genuinely good guy--and they're pretty much an endangered species today--or it was all a power struggle and he wanted to win it. And when I continued to fight he would finally see me as the 'beautiful bitter bachelorette' that I am. He probably had some fiesty, lovable image in his head of me, but eventually it would fade like fog parting, and there would be just me. The triple B. What a let down.

I tried to shake off my moment of weakness and self-pity.

I may have cowardly tendencies when it came to... well just Edward.

And bungee jumping.

_Just go talk to him..._

"Bella, if you sigh heavily one more time, I'm gonna wheel over there and kick your ass," Alice said, annoyed behind the half-wall.

I sat up with a start and grabbed the next file folder, but was unable to concentrate on the documents before me.

"Alice?"

She stopped typing, giving me a chance to talk.

"How is he?" I asked tentatively.

"He's fine Bella. It's you I've actually been worrying about."

Huh?

Here I was moping, sweating, losing sleep, agonizing over everything all week and he was FINE?!

All of a sudden, I could just see him in his office with his legs propped up on his desk, swirling scotch in a crystal glass, and smoking a big fat cigar, smiling maniacally and twirling his mustache while he contemplates the next female.

_Oh, hell no._

I pushed off my from desk and stomped out of my office. I saw Alice's alarmed face and scrunched eyebrows completely taken aback by my sudden mood change. For days I had been a lump of clay, but just the thought of Edward deceiving me, pretending with me, or even changing his mind, gave me back my energy. I wasn't going to sit in my puddle of pity if he was _fine_. I made a straight path to his door.

I stood there for a moment, ignoring Lauren and told myself to just stay calm and figure out what was going on.

I knocked lightly.

"Come in." Hearing his voice within made my stomach jump once. I hadn't heard that voice in days.

I slowly opened the door and peered inside.

Edward was standing contrapposto next to his desk, facing the giant bookshelf that took up the entire wall, his perfectly disheveled bronze head bent into a folder in concentration. He wore my favorite navy slacks and a crisp white collared dress shirt and tie. Only he could look so tempting in common work attire. Hearing me come in, his striking green eyes snapped up, completing the picture.

I could just cross the room in three strides, rip those clothes to pieces, pull at his hair, and devour every inch of him. This must be what happens when I don't see him for several days—I turn into a raging sex fiend.

"Um, hi," I started, leaning my hand on the doorknob. The site of him deflated my temper from the evil picture I had painted him in, and I couldn't quite remember the words to my accusatory speech.

"Hi," he greeted with surprise.

"Can we talk for a few minutes?" I asked, unsure now and shifted in the doorway.

He snapped the folder closed like a clamshell and continued to look at me enigmatically.

"Close the door," he said with a small jerk of his chin.

I did so immediately and approached his desk like a bad student in a principal's office. I was feeling very self-conscious now because we did in fact have to talk at some point.

He cast aside the folder on his desk and gracefully fell into his chair, lacing his fingers on the table and looked questioningly at me under a heavy arched brow. "What can I do for you today Ms. Swan?"

Back to formalities are we?

I took the chair across from him to hide my fidgeting fingers and the shifting of my weight from one foot to the other. For living in the bubble of a law firm, I was strangely not feeling very confident right now.

I didn't know how to begin so I lamely stated, "You were gone last week."

"Yes. I was on a business trip for Mr. Lawrence," he answered, waiting for me to get to the point of my visit.

"Where?" I asked, trying to see if he would make up a destination. I still didn't believe he had been on a business trip.

"Just dropped down to San Francisco to draw up some contracts for an important client," he replied easily.

Since I ran out of useless questions, we stared at each other for a moment.

"Was there something else?" he asked quietly, expectantly. His head tilted, eyeing me with apprehension.

I mustered my courage. "Actually yes. Um, about last Monday..." I anticipated an interruption from him, but he remained silent. His stare was pushing at the seams of my intestinal fortitude.

"I'm…" No, he didn't want to hear any more apologies. "I'm not the relationship type of person," I offered. I bit my lower lip trying to phrase what I needed to say to him. _I'll have the No Commitment for my main dish, but can I have an order of Edward on the side?_

His lips twitched. "Let me guess, 'it's not you it's me'."

My brows scrunched a little at that. "Well... it's not like we're dating so I wouldn't use a break-up line, especially one so cliché." I felt myself smile a little.

"My mistake," he said, his lips on the verge of a smirk.

"I'm really not ready to get into anything uh, sticky...and it would be unfair to just jump your bone— I mean start anything other than...and I'd hate to plummet your expectations when things don't work out..."

_Stop. Rambling. Now. Did you just say jump his bone? Swan you idiot!_

Trying to fight off my embarrassment, I cleared my throat and tried again. "Everything just suddenly seems complicated between us, we both want different things and I think it would be better if we could go back to the way they were," I said, my eyes wandering to objects on his desk.

He didn't speak right away and I didn't dare look at him. I focused on paperweights, pens, and boring documents that had been printed at a zoomed in level to at least two hundred percent

"Then why don't we just forget about last Monday," he finally answered in a casual, light tone.

My eyes flew to his face. Well fuck me, he really did look fine as Alice had said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Forget it? Just like that?"

"Sure," he said, offering me a too innocent expression.

I should be rejoicing at getting my way, but why did the ball suddenly feel like it was in his court now? "Okay." I stood awkwardly and turned to leave now that things were all settled.

"Great!" Edward said standing up with renewed enthusiasm.

Startled by his sudden burst of energy, I turned to see him opening a large filing drawer across the room opposite the bookshelf. He cranked it open with a bit of effort, making the old metal whine unpleasantly and dust particles to float up.

"I'll need you to start with this drawer here and work your way down," he said to me with an ingenuous smile, his eyes lighting up with mischief. "These are old case files from 1962 to 78'. It's about time they were put in our computer system." He dusted off his hands and put them on his hips with satisfaction.

"Huh?" I said stupidly.

"Ya know, another project," he said with wiggling eyebrows.

My thoughts just about smacked into themselves as I caught up with this turn of events. Did I just sign over my rights? My life? "Wha... we do not even need those!"

"What's with the surprised look? I always give you little projects." His grin widened.

"Little?" I sputtered. "Half the people in those files are already deceased. This is a waste of time." I put my hands firmly on my hips.

He tisked away my concerns with the clicking of his tongue. "I'm sure Rosalie would agree with me. Gotta keep the company well managed and organized," he said suddenly all business like.

"Is this your idea of revenge or something?"

"Just going back to the way things were," he mocked.

"You're punishing me now. Really I thought you were above this, _Mr. Cullen_," I said acidly.

The more I looked at the outdated filing cabinet and its contents, the more frustrated I became. A million insults went through my mind.

Edward burst out laughing, a deep throaty musical sound.

"What the hell is so funny," I demand indignantly. I saw nothing funny about any of this, only my own demise—or his if he pushed my buttons further.

He kept laughing that he had to sit back down in his chair to recover. Then he noticed the vein in my forehead twitching. Emmett liked to refer to it as a separate entity of evil attributed only to females.

He finally sobered and leaned over his desk on his elbows. "Just look at yourself, Bella."

I glanced down, confused and twice as annoyed. Did I pop a button off my blouse during my furious chest heaving?

Um, Yes.

I was not about to get on all fours and go searching for the damn thing. But he totally deserved a cruel tease like that. His gaze lingered on my newly exposed skin for a moment. I was only revealing a little cleavage, which wasn't much because I didn't have a large chest. To top it off I knew he was about to voice his long-winded opinions right after laughing at me.

"Aside from your button escaping, you're hilarious Bella. You come in here like you're about to get in line at the guillotine. You sit down and ask me about my recent whereabouts. Then you look all guilty, squirming in your chair and putting up this strong front about never getting involved." He got real serious now and stood up to walk around his desk to half sit on the corner of it. "But so far, it's obvious that you still can't keep away from me. Whether you like it or not, you care about me," he said pointedly.

Words failed me momentarily. He was more observant than I was expecting, but he nailed it and I had failed at really recovering myself. I crossed my arms over my chest.

He cocked his head to the side. "Feelings defensive?"

"Stop reading my body language." I uncrossed my arms and stood up straighter. "How can you be really nice sometimes and a jerk almost always every other time. I'm getting serious whiplash."

"You're getting whiplash?!" He leaned back and barked a dry laugh. "I'm just keeping up with your mood swings. Let's face it Swan, you have issues. That's the only reason a beautiful woman like you would still be single."

_Oh he went too far._ "That is unbelievably sexist to assume a woman has a problem just because she chooses to be single. But if a man is single it's okay for him to ride out his glory bachelor days, using women like ATM machines."

His expression darkened. "I don't use women like ATM machines, so you can stop forming opinions about me based on your disappointment for rest of the male population. I meant what I said, I want you, but I don't force myself on women either." He looked offended at the very thought. "I've already made it my mission to disprove your theories on men, even if it means cage fighting with the feistiest woman on the market." He gave me a broad, smug smile.

"This is all a big game to you isn't it." I gave him a scathing look.

He straightened and looked at me evenly with that mischief in his eyes again. "If it's a game then you've been playing it, too. And I always get what I want Ms. Swan."

My face was furiously hot now. Was that a threat or a promise? The man's ego was insufferable, which currently overshadowed his chivalrous qualities.

"There is no way I am letting the devil incarnate masked as his former angelic self make it his 'heroic' mission to fix me, while really inching me closer to the pits of hell. So you can halt your crusade to reform Bella Swan." My chest was rising rapidly again with pent up agitation and loathing for this beautiful, pompous bastard.

"That's a nice speech," he said in a calm tight voice. Probably because I compared him to the devil.

"Why did you come here then?" he asked, leaning to pick up his small candy dish from his desk and offering me a chocolate.

This subtle way of him taking back control of the conversation barely registered as I grabbed a chocolate and unwrapped it. "No matter what I say, I'm sure you'll just pick it apart and resume your critique of me anyway," I said testily and popped the candy in my mouth, chewing and breathing out of my flaring nostrils.

He chuckled and placed the dish back on his desk, unwrapping a piece for himself. "Probably. Or I'll just form my own opinions. So?" he asked again and tossed the candy in his mouth chewing with enjoyment and surveying me.

"You do that anyway," I stated, deflecting.

"Yeah, but you don't hesitate to kick a guy to the curb when you're not interested, yet here you are," he said grinning, asking me for the third time.

I deflected again. "I'd rather let you live in your own ignorant world where you're the King of Right." I folded my arms leaning my weight on a hip and gave him a bittersweet, tight-lipped smile.

He rolled his eyes and put a hand to his heart. "Please save me from my terrible kingdom of misapprehensions."

I almost laughed.

Suddenly his phone buzzed on his desk and without breaking eye contact with me, he slowly reached behind himself for the receiver. The phone cord wrapped around his side and pulled at his shirt. "Yes?" He paused to listen. "Put him on hold, I'll be with him shortly," and unwound the cord to hang the phone up just as slowly, still watching me.

He turned serious. "Now answer the damn question."

Ordering me like that sort of added an aroused tingle to my already hot and bothered state. It had the desired affect. I let out a frustrated breath and looked at him hatefully. "Okay Edward, I do care about you. But that doesn't mean I trust you. You probably tricked me into it because you're a complete jerk."

He sat back and gave me a real smile. "Thank you. Was that so hard?"

Way to rub it in. He must have a sixth sense for turning my resistance into an admission because he always used it to his advantage. From the start of our conversation he accused me of caring for him and somehow we had made a full circle.

As if reading my mind he remarked with satisfaction, "It's not about whose right or wrong, it's about who wins the argument."

Seriously, we could argue past starvation. Except the Hold button on his phone was still blinking red.

"I'll be back to that filing cabinet later," I said with a scowl and turned to leave.

As I opened the door he said, "See you at lunch," and smiled faintly.

~/~/~/~

Disgusting old file folders that crackled when I opened them and smelled like moth balls. The pages were peppered with rusty dust from forty year old staples and paper clips. I never knew the steel coating could curl off and turn to powder. As I opened the first one I was presented with a dead flattened spider pressed like a flower between the pages. I stood up with a frightened yelp and gingerly transferred it the garbage. What a great start I thought with another disgusted sigh and began entering the info into the Lawrence Associates database.

Before I could pawn off this absurd project to an office assistant, Rosalie had gotten wind of it and agreed that it was a good idea. So I just had to suck it up for now and maybe beat Edward on the head with something heavy later on. Super gluing quarters to his desk seemed like a fantastic idea right now.

Our work flow adjusted whenever I got projects from him so Alice was used to taking on a few extra things. I kept working on some of my usual tasks or I would go insane with these mundane projects.

I had a few follow up questions about a silly lawsuit over SAT cheating at an all girls boarding school and parents trying to sue each other over it. I couldn't ask Rosalie because she was out for the afternoon at a meeting. I decided to just leave a note for her about it on her desk and move on. I scribbled some questions on Post-its and tagged them to the documents. When I walked over to her office I found the door locked.

That was odd, she never locked her door. Luckily, as her administrators, only Alice and I had the spare key. I went back to my desk and fished for it in my bottom drawer. It's not like I would snoop through her things, this was work related. I went back and unlocked it, turned the key, and opened the door.

I knew she wasn't here so why was the light on? I had an eerie feeling like a ghost or some presence just disappeared from the room. I shook off the absurd vibe. My imagination tended to get out of hand sometimes—like picturing Edward as an evil bachelor with a mustache and cigar.

Lost in these thoughts, I hummed an idle tune and put the folder on her desk. I scanned the surface for her Post-its just to add an extra note that the folder was from "Isabella." So as not to mess with the order of her things, I carefully peeled one off and stuck it to the folder and scribbled my note.

I felt a hand close over my ankle.

I choked on my scream in fright and the pen on the page almost scrawled onto the actual documents.

I stepped back clumsily, knocking into the desk chair. The wall caught me from behind and I wildly looked down.

Emmett was crouched under Rosalie's desk in nothing but his underwear and socks.

"Oh my god Emmett what are you doing in here?! And where are your clothes?" My voice had risen to a squeak, my heart pounding heart.

He looked at me with mirrored shock. "Bells, you gotta help me!" he said in hushed, urgent tones.

It took me another moment to regain my voice. "Holy hell it's Rosalie Lawrence," I said with belated realization.

"Bells, you gotta get me out of here." Emmett pleaded again, letting go of my ankle. He began to unfold himself from under the desk and it was difficult to imagine how he had shrunk himself to fit in the claustrophobic space in the first place.

"Seriously, what the hell are you doing in here? Don't you have a day job?" My eyebrows still crinkled in confusion by this latest development.

"Isn't it obvious?! I was waiting for Rose to come back so she can have her way with me some more." I shot him a withering scowl. He looked slightly apologetic. "She said she was only going to a short meeting and she would be back. It's been two hours!"

"So? That's not my fault!" I glanced at the door hoping no one heard our raised voices. I dropped down to a whisper but it came out more like a hiss. "How long has this been going on for?" I asked, incredulous.

Never mind the fact that he was stripped to his boxers, now he started to look really uncomfortable. "Um, since Alice's Halloween party." He unstuck himself from underneath the desk and sat with folded crossed legs on the floor.

I tried not to look at his bulging package resting beneath his underwear. There was a giant green four leaf clover perfectly printed over the area with the words 'kiss me I'm Irish' printed around it.

"Are you going to tell me what happened to your clothes or not?" I asked, towering over him.

"She locked them up in the filing cabinet so I wouldn't leave till she got back." He didn't even look upset about it, just inconvenienced and a little bit proud of his saucy woman.

I felt the need to give him a disciplinary lecture. "Emmett, I can't believe you're screwing around like this. She's my boss, you're my best friend, if this doesn't work out, this could become a very uncomfortable situation for me at work. Did you even think of that?"

"Hey, we're not just fooling around, we're together." he said seriously. It was rather hard to take him seriously when he was barely dressed and on the floor. I guess being in lust does make a person do stupid things.

"Bells, are you going to help me or not? I think she hid the key in her desk somewhere." He bent himself over to stand up. Now he was the one towering over me as the tall muscled weight trainer I knew, despite the funny boxers and socks. He really created a formidable picture.

I stepped back a little and fought the heat in my cheeks. "You got yourself into this mess and you can get yourself out," I said firmly. "Just please don't go streaking through the office. That will open up a whole new can of worms and I don't want our department to get into trouble because of a horndog like you."

"But it's been hours and I'm starving," he whined and shuffled impatiently. His stomach also growled, adding its two cents.

"Wait here," I said, already annoyed. If only he hadn't given me those pug dog eyes.

I opened the door and peaked out to make sure no one was paying attention, my heart thumping. I tiptoed quickly to my desk and looked for a candy bar or something in my drawers.

"Bella Swan, you are up to no good." Alice's voice floated over to me and she wheeled her chair around the corner of the half wall.

"What makes you say that?" I asked innocently.

"You're tiptoeing around which by the way doesn't look stealthy in the slightest. You're shoulders are all tense and you're eyebrows are doing that scrunchy thing."

Can people please stop analyzing my body language today???

"Oh alright, fine. You won't stop bugging me until I tell you anyway." I partially wanted to get some of it off my chest. Alice was the perfect person to confide in about this. I told her everything and her hazel eyes grew wider by the second as my words flowed in an unbreakable stream from my lips.

"Oh. My. God." she finally said.

"I know!" I chimed.

"And he's still in there?" she asked quietly with disbelief.

"Obviously."

We both turned and eyed the office door across the room for a moment.

"What should we do?" she asked with a mixture of sympathy and deviousness.

"I don't know, he's hungry," I grumbled. I hadn't found anything in my desk that was edible.

"Well we can't just leave him in there hungry," she said and went to rummage in her own drawers. I thought she was looking for food too but instead she came back with none other than her locking picking set. I wasn't too surprised that she owned one. "We'll just have to unlock his clothes." Alice smiled at my frown.

"Wouldn't it be better to just go buy him some food?"

"Which is more of a hassle? Picking one lock or running down the street to buy him a meal? Once we free him we can wash our hands of the whole business."

"I guess so." And there was no way I was going to snoop through Rosalie's desk for that key anyway.

I tailed Alice as we made our way back to Rosalie's office. When I unlocked it again we stepped inside to the empty room with the lights still on.

"Emmett, you can come out from under the desk. It's just me and Alice," I said impatiently.

He bumped his head on the underside of the desk and cursed on his way out. He was still completely unabashed that he was only in his boxers, looking so overjoyed to see us, licking his lips like he could already taste his freedom and his next meal. Alice giggled beside me. He pointed to the filing cabinet and Alice dug out her set from her pocket and went to eagerly fiddle with the lock.

"I owe you big time. Anything you girls want, a present, a favor, anything for putting up with my bullshit, just name it. So what'll it be?"

"I will let you know," I said through my teeth, deciding to keep the favor for the future and maybe use it at the most inconvenient time to get back at him.

I could see Alice envisioning all the things she wanted to buy like clothes, shoes, makeup... maybe even tickets to a show with Jasper.

She finally squealed happily as the lock clicked open. I joined her side and we dipped our eyes down into the drawer to see Emmett's clothes stuffed messily inside, crunching some folders. How could Rosalie be so careless? Alice grabbed his shirt and playfully tossed it at him, silently twirling around the room in triumph.

He chuckled and slipped it on easily, buttoning it up the front. He looked even more ridiculous with his socks on now. His huge grin started annoying me, too. I swear Emmett could get away with anything. If he's in a pickle, he miraculously finds a way out without gathering enemies. I picked up his tan, cargo pants with my thumb and index finger holding them away from me and throwing them at his face.

"Oof!" he exclaimed behind the fabric. He grabbed them eagerly in his meaty hands and went to slip them on.

Suddenly, a horrible scenario played out in my head. "Um, Alice? What would Rosalie think when she comes back to find him gone?"

We both looked at Emmett.

"I'll talk to her, she'll understand. I'll just say I busted the lock because I was hungry."

"Yeah right, she'll see right through you," I argued.

"And it doesn't take much to squeeze the truth out of you. Rosalie just has to smile and I bet you're putty in her hands," Alice added.

"I'll bust the lock right now." And he inched toward it.

Alice and I bump our shoulders together to make a wall in front of him. "You'll do no such thing Em, someone will hear us."

"Bells, you're too uptight."

"Bella and I need to talk about this." Alice grabbed my shoulders and we huddled in whispers with our foreheads together, turning our backs to Emmett. We quickly agreed on a plan of action.

We turned back to face him and smiled. Emmett smiled back, unaware of what was about to happen. Simultaneously, we lunged at him from each side like Velociraptors on the hunt. He let out another "OOF!" as both of our weight slammed him back onto the floor.

"What are you--"

I cut him off by hissing, "Alice!" She shoved him down and sat on his chest.

"Ow!" He grunted in pain, still shocked by our sudden action. Alice may be small, but she was really strong. It was kind of scary sometimes…

While Alice was securing him on top, I grabbed the ends of his pants and dragged them off. He wiggled and tried bending his knees to prevent me, but I managed to slide them off and flung them in the cabinet like shooting a basketball in its hoop.

"Bells, what the hell are you doing!" he expostulated.

"Change of plans, Emmett."

"Bella, a little help here," Alice growled, trying to keep him from wriggling out from under her. This might be easier than I thought… Emmett would never hit a woman and he had no where to run now that his pants were gone.

I sat on his legs firmly, distracting him enough while Alice almost ripped his shirt in two.

"A little tact Alice, how are we going to explain the buttons everywhere?"

"Are you hormonal or something you crazy women!" He tried to heave himself up halfway into a sitting position.

_knock knock_

The three of us instantly froze in half-motion. I was about to grab Emmett's hands to further restrain him, still sitting on his legs and Alice had his shirt collar fisted in one hand, the other smooshed into the side of his face. Emmett's short curls were frazzled.

Then we heard someone fidgeting with the doorknob and all of our bulging eyes snapped to the door.

We heard footsteps and someone telling the knocker that Rosalie was out at a meeting. The footsteps went away.

We breathed out sighs and looked at each other with relief.

In an instant we were back in action, Alice and I faster than Emmett and the shirt got peeled off him. Alice tossed it to me and I threw it in the cabinet atop his pants. 3-point shot.

I climbed off Emmett's legs and made my way to the cabinet to lock it shut. Within three steps I got pinned to the ground by Emmett's heavy weight, the wind knocked out of me. "Sorry," he said, hoping he didn't hurt me and anxiously scrambled passed me to his clothes.

His hand was about to reach them when Alice, bless her, daintily sprinted over to him and kicked his giant hand out of the way with her tiny foot, slamming the cabinet shut.

I groaned with relief. Emmett groaned in defeat. Alice tinkled a laugh and patted her pocket containing her lock picking set.

"If we let you go, Rosalie will know we were in here which normally isn't a problem except now _you're_ in here and then she'll know we saw you and then we'll definitely get fired," Alice informed him, staring down at him on the floor.

"If you try to break the lock off you'll make too much noise and someone will find out, getting us all into trouble," I added.

Emmett's eyes filled with full realization of how this silly situation put Alice and I in a bad position. He rested his head onto the floor and let out another groan. One of his socks was halfway off his foot and drooping. "Why didn't you just say so instead of attacking me?"

"Good question," Alice said with a finger to her chin thoughtfully. I couldn't help but laugh and got up to smooth my clothing out, checking for bruises.

I thought I would die if Rosalie walked in right now. "We need to get back to work."

As we were leaving, Emmett sat up looking like a puppy saddened that his master was leaving for the day. "But I'm still hungry."

I hissed at him with a flailing arm. "Rosalie will be back soon!"

"And pick up every last button!" Alice whispered urgently.

I closed the door, locked it, and we stiffly strolled back to our adjoining cubicles ready to burst from our muffled giggling.

_Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie and Emmett._

"Wow, Rosalie with Emmett…" Alice echoed my thoughts once we were safely back to our desks. "Who knew that the wildest bull in the pen would leave his harem behind and settle down." she mused thoughtfully.

"Don't remind me." I started typing furiously, still feeling on edge.

"He just better not get hitched before me or I'll twist his balls off," she said darkly.

I snorted. With the time and love Alice and Jasper put into their relationship, I had to agree with her.

Rosalie didn't return for another hour and I almost felt sorry for Emmett. Almost.

Observing her more closely, she definitely looked impatient and kind of excited. She hurriedly unlocked her office and slipped inside. Alice and I were typing and working away while keeping one ear open.

Another half hour went by. _Ewwwww._ I'd never touch anything in Rosalie's office again.

How she had snuck him in and out unnoticed was beyond my creative thought process. How long had these secret office visits been going on for?

Another realization suddenly dawned on me. _Oh crap, I left my folder with the Post-it notes on her desk!_


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you everyone for reviewing, it makes me unbelievably happy. So so much.**

**Songs for this chapter are: **_**Should I Stay Or Should I Go**_** by The Clash, **_**I Think I'm Paranoid**_** by Garbage, and **_**All For Swinging You Around**_** by The New Pornographers.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

_"Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply within you that you cannot believe it." - Margaret Cho_

**Chapter Twelve**

"Good morning Ms. Swan. I took the liberty of bringing you coffee on this bright lovely day." Edward spoke in his utmost polite manner on the verge of overkill and smiled cheekily at me.

Standing over my desk reading a briefing report, I looked at the to-go cup he held out to me. It smelled amazing and I imagined the warm liquid glide silkily down my throat. But how could I accept treats from him when I resisted him in so many other ways?

"What's with the hesitant look? It's not like I spiked your morning coffee," he joked. He leaned forward and waved the cup under my nose tantalizingly.

"I'm sure you did spike it. What is it, a love potion?" I teased.

"Like I would need a love potion…" he scoffed in a honeyed voice and gave me a tiny lopsided smirk.

"You will with that attitude," I remarked.

I took the to-go cup careful to keep my fingers from touching his. I purposely bumped his nose with it a little as I lifted it up before bringing the cup to my lips.

He straightened and gave me an annoyed look somewhere between a glare and a half-smile. "Don't forget about that filing cabinet in my office."

I breathed a soft snort and rolled my eyes. "You mean that metal cube from the Stone Age. Sure, can't wait," I grumbled as he walked away. I stared a second longer at his retreating form, hoping my scowl would prick him painfully in the back or trip him.

When someone says anything, it will always be out in the atmosphere from then on. It can never be retracted and it becomes part of history. His declaration broke the surface of our awkward silences and inexplicit exchanges. Edward's words had been haunting my shadow ever since, but seemed to lift a burden from his shoulders. Once it was 'out there' he spoke more freely about it and not hindered in the slightest to bring it up. If anything, he seemed bolder in his favors and suggestive looks.

_That was just like him too_, I thought as I watched his office door and sipped my coffee contemplatively. Never out of control, making choices with deliberation, and once the deed was done, he never looked back. He never felt the need to apologize because he truly didn't regret his actions. From his work to his personal life, everything he did was premeditated and with careful consideration.

If Edward was the kid who colored inside the lines meticulously, filling in flat, even, color, I was the girl that scribbled all over the page and maybe even a little onto the floor too. He made me look like a total mess in comparison. Flustered flaring temper, making quick decisions, and acting on impulse. These qualities of mine did not come at full force until he came into my life. I'd hate to think it was he who brought out this side of me.

No matter what our process was, we both stopped at nothing to get our way.

Our little verbal tug of war in his office only seemed to encourage him. Once the cards were finally laid out on the table, he was ready to play. And I was that woman that said 'hit me again' we'll see who has the upper hand this time. It was becoming a ridiculous catch22. He enjoyed our game of cat and mouse immensely. He would also enjoy it if I gave into him completely. I chose the lesser of two evils.

I mulled this all over as I opened another disintegrating folder from 1964. My skin crawled again as the mothball scent and rusty dust assailed my senses. I sneezed into the folder. I was only on the second drawer and it was a damn tedious job. I could see Alice starting to feel bad for me. She had that same sympathetic, disapproving expression when Edward was forced to work with Jessica for a week.

"I can't believe how fast the holidays are going by," she exclaimed in an effort to distract me.

The Lawrence Associates Annual Christmas Party was this Friday. It was hard to believe how quickly the days went by when I was stuck doing such tiresome work.

"Did you get your dress fitted?"

"Yes, I have a great relationship with my seamstress the way men do with their barbers. Celeste did a rush job on it for the regular price." Alice sighed with admiration for the woman.

"Wow, that was nice of your seamstress to do that." But if anyone could finagle a deal, it was Alice.

"Yeah, I love Celeste but I would rather have a perfect figure like yours and I would never have to adjust my clothes."

"Har har," I said sarcastically and sneezed into the folder again. This time my head felt a little hazy. I shook my head to clear it and moved onto the next folder.

I was feeling kind of giddy about Friday and definitely nervous about my dress. I still couldn't believe Alice convinced me to buy it. Admittedly, it was a very nice dress but I must have been pitiful on that shopping day. The more I looked at it the more I realized it was rather strappy and tight. If I wore high boots with it I was sure strangers would approach me on a street corner getting the wrong idea. But Alice still swears by that dress.

"You need me to spruce you up before the party?" she asked hopefully.

"No thanks Alice, I'm perfectly capable of slipping on a dress and doing my hair. No more of your 'secret touches'," I said, referring to the Halloween mask or any other tricks she kept up her sleeve

"Fine. But don't call me at the last minute if you're having trouble with your make-up," she said, feeling snubbed. "I don't think Edward would appreciate your fumbling efforts if your face resembled either a mannequin or a clown."

"Jeez, way to twist the knife Alice. I already told you that I'm looking nice...just to look nice. I don't cater myself to one individual unless that individual is_ me_."

"All right, just tryin' to help," she sang and printed out a bunch of documents. I heard her bang them on her desk to organize them in a neat stack. She came around the wall and said, "Well I've got to meet with Rose for a bit." She paused to wince at my pile of dusty folders with sympathy. "Umm, good luck with all that."

I smiled at her tiny retreating form. I knew she would help me if she wasn't already taking on part of my normal work and I really felt grateful to have her as a coworker and best friend. Not a lot of people have a great combination like that in their work and personal lives. These thoughts kept me happy as I busied myself.

A thud on the edge of my desk startled me. And just like that, my happy mood was ruined by the green eyed villain. Edward eased a dusty box onto the surface to keep it from tipping.

"God, put it on the floor you buffoon," I snapped as a small cloud of dust floated toward me.

"I forgot one small detail," Edward said, ignoring my request. He propped an elbow up on the corner of the box like it was his favorite child.

I backed up in my chair to give him my full angry glare. "What is this? And what detail?" I asked through my teeth, tapping my pen quickly with agitation.

"I found this pile of great newspaper clippings that pertain to some of the court cases. They should be scanned and added to their respective case numbers in the database. You haven't gotten too far yet have you?" He raised his eyebrow inquiringly.

The bastard knew how far I'd gotten; the filing cabinet was in his office! And now he expected me to go through all these newspaper articles, scan them, and revisit every filed case they belonged too and add them to the archives? If I was to ever cry in front of him, now might be one of those times. But I was too angry to cry.

"You listen here _Mr. Cullen_, that will take days and I have other things to do. Despite what you may think, the litigation department is a lot busier than your legal documents," I said with a sour edge. "I am not doing this without an office assistant." _I shouldn't be doing this at all._

"Why are you always difficult with me Ms. Swan?" He leaned on the edge of my desk and now gave me his full attention, looking down at me like a gargoyle.

"You're the one purposely trying to annoy me with your _tasks_." I air quoted the word _tasks_. "I am not difficult, usually I'm easy to get along with. Everyone in this office knows I'm easy." I realized too late how my words could take on a different meaning.

"Easy? Like dressing in tight skirts and sleeping around 'easy'?" His teasing tone did not reach his eyes.

"And if I am?" I taunted. "Are you trying to figure out how willing I am, to see if you have a chance?"

"You can't imply that I don't have a chance when I've already been there," he corrected in a lowered voice, looking me over appreciatively. "But if it will make you less difficult, you should get back on the horse." His eyes suddenly glowed maliciously.

"You have the affect of making me difficult no matter how many times I 'get back on the horse'."

"Oh, is that so?" He was almost in my face at this point.

"Yes, that's so!" I threw my pen at the dusty box behind him.

"Fine, I'll get you an office assistant," he challenged and leaned back a little.

"Great. That is just great. Spending time with him will make me less stressed so I can do my job, as you say. He'll be a great comfort to me and I can _loosen up_," I countered, my voice thick with implications.

"That sounds like the exact opposite of working," he replied, suddenly flipping his angle in the conversation.

"Anything to keep the company updated and running smoothly," I quoted his words from yesterday.

We glared at each other warily. I decided to goad him a little more, test the waters. I turned my glare into a coy smile, delicious and secretive.

His eyes widened a little at the change and subtly his body language turned into something more inviting. My temper dissipated a bit as I studied him more closely, careful to shine my innocent brown eyes up at him. Once I got locked in his gaze, it was difficult to drag mine away from his and resist the slow, magnetic pull.

He slowly looked me over and finally, his gaze dropped down to my lips. "Do you really need an office assistant?" he asked in very soft voice now, and I didn't miss the double meaning in his tone.

I caught up with his change in demeanor and felt myself lean in closer to him. "Well, that depends," I answered in an equally low voice like we were about to trade secrets. I slowly licked my lips for the full affect.

His body relaxed and leaned in closer until our noses were a couple of inches apart. "What does it depend on?" His voice was just above a whisper and his eyelids started to look a little heavy. His warm breath tickled my lips.

I slowly grabbed his tie, feeling the smooth fabric between my fingers. "My performance…" I answered breathlessly, my chest rose and fell more prominently. I gently stroked his tie, moving my hand down the length of it.

"That shouldn't be a problem. Is there anything else?" he whispered with the corner of his lip quirking into an almost smile.

His shoulders were blocking my view of the doorway, my vision focused only on his face and eyes, his scent filling my nose of fresh laundry and vanilla, and his lips a mere inch from my own. He seemed to be breathing more quickly too.

I angled my head as one does, preparing to kiss. "Just one more thing…" I whispered as my wandering fingers stopped, holding his tie in place. My gaze fell to his slightly parted mouth that was beckoning me. I stared at it, resisting the urge to suck on his bottom lip.

"Mm?" He made the sound low in his throat, urging me to continue my words or kiss him. Or both. Using the most self-control I'd ever had to muster in my life, my other hand wandered to my desired object like finding a condom in the dark.

My eyes flickered back to his dark green ones. "Time," I said in a regular voice, using the stapler in my other hand to punch staples into his tie.

His eyes widened and when he tried to pull away I held onto his tie more firmly, still stapling. "_Time_ is what I need Mr. Cullen," I stated, continuing to staple a line down the center that attached the smaller flap behind the larger one into a single thick lumpy piece of cloth. "The more you bother me, the less time I have to finish this project." With each word my stapling had become more forceful. He was completely flustered and caught off guard, but I yanked his destroyed tie forward so his face was an inch from mine again. "With or without an assistant," I said with finality and released him and the stapler. It made a loud thud on my desk.

I got up from my chair energetically—to which my chest almost smacked into him if he hadn't moved out of the way in time—and walked out of my office, leaving Edward gaping, surly, and speechless with thirty-something staples in his now frumpy ravaged tie. It hung, swinging a little in mid air from his dropped jaw and hunched shoulders.

Once I had left the room with a sweeping dramatic exit, my legs started to feel weak. I went to the bathroom to cool off and splash some water onto my face. After patting my face dry I looked down with surprise when I felt my underwear was a wet, soggy mess.

~/~/~/~

The next morning I woke up with my sinuses clogged and my skin feeling itchy all over. Even though it was the middle of winter, this was a really bad time for my body to decide on getting sick. I took a hot shower in hopes that the steam would clear my nasal canal. I also downed a few pain meds and guzzled some hot tea before swinging my coat on. I couldn't afford to be sick now, I had too much work to do thanks to Edward-jackass-Cullen.

To continue my morning of bad luck, I found that things were not right with my working station. After I dropped my bag on the floor, shrugged my coat off, and sat down, I saw that my keyboard was blank. I looked down more closely at it.

Someone had painted all of the letters and symbols on the keys with white-out.

I looked over my shoulder through the doorway. This seemed like a harsh payback for a stapled tie. If it was office pranks he wanted, then that's what he was going to get. My teeth gritted together as my forehead vein started forming evil plans.

But first, I needed to remedy this current problem before waving my sword with a battle cry. I thought of nail polish remover to clean off the white-out but that might erase the original symbols on the keys. I sighed grouchily and grabbed my envelope opener; I would just have to unplug the keyboard and scrape off every little button. And after that there would be hell to pay.

Of course, things did not go as smoothly as I planned. Once the white-out was scraped off, I had to turn the keyboard upside down and use a can of air-spray to blow the white flakes out of the crevices.

"Snowing much in here, Bella?"

"Ugh, don't even ask Jasper."

He walked past me more cautiously on his way to Alice.

By the time I fixed my keyboard with my temper still smoldering, I was way behind on my work and rushed into my stack of dusty file folders. I was now determined to just get as much done as I could so I would have the free time later to do my own pranking on a particular gorgeous bronze-haired demon from hell.

By lunchtime, I hadn't gotten through as much as I had hoped and started feeling sluggish. My skin was feeling itchier, which could have been from my stress and irritation since there was no sign of a rash or anything. It felt like my clothes were weaved from a Brillo-pad. And whatever cold that my body was fighting kept making me sneeze and my mind go fuzzy.

"How's the project going? I see you're able to type again and—" Edward's sentence cut off when I turned to look at him. "Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly concerned with his heavy eyebrows slanted down and a frown formed the lower half of his face.

I rubbed my eye with the back of my hand. "I'm fine. I'll be better without your interruptions if you'll—"

"Bella." He was in front of me in the next second, which annoyed me further. "You're not even close to fine. You're face is splotchy and your eyes are puffy and bloodshot."

He looked like he would have taken my chin in his hand except I sneezed into my lap. The movement disturbed a bit of dust from the folder before me. I was about to continue typing when he shot a hand out and threw the folder back onto the pile like it was a poisonous snake.

"Hey! I was in the middle of working on that one," I snapped.

Before I knew it, I was rolled away from my desk and lifted to my feet. For a moment I dangled on his arm in a very undignified fashion. My bag and jacket were somehow already draped over Edward's other arm as he held me. He gathered me by the waist and I tried not to trip as he walked at a fast pace through the office. I thought it best not to make a scene; if I hadn't complied to walk he probably would have thrown me over his shoulder.

Alice stopped talking mid-sentence at Jasper's cubicle and skidded over to us with an alarmed, concerned expression.

"She's having some sort of allergy attack. Tell Rosalie she's sick and won't be back for the rest of the day." His tone was short of barking as we continued our clumsy walking to the elevators.

Inside the elevator, Edward helped me into my jacket with more force than politeness while his eyes darted over my facial skin in examination. When we entered the garage level, I shrieked as he swung me into his arms bridal style.

"Edward, I know how to walk," I said in annoyance.

"Shut up, Swan," was all he said, walking more briskly than I would have been able to. I heard his car beep as it unlocked and he carefully, but swiftly plunked my body into the passenger seat. Though I was a little disoriented and felt another wave of sneezing rise, I managed to buckle myself in.

Edward was already putting the car in reverse and exiting the garage with speed. I had never been in his car before but I could still faintly smell the new leather. While he maneuvered down the busy streets—and did it very well I might add—he made a phone call to a doctor's office with a hands free voice dialing system installed in his dashboard. Other than the phone call, neither of us spoke. I rested my head against the seat, listening to the muffled sounds of the city interpreted through my increasingly hazy brain.

As soon as he pulled into a parking spot, I felt the wintry air rush to my face as he flung the car door open. Immediately, I let out squeaky sneeze. And another. _Gross._ Edward waited a moment till my mini sneeze episode was finished before helping me out of the car. It was really cold outside so I was glad he hastily steered me into the huge medical building.

Through out the waiting and sitting and hazy itching and sneezing, Edward seemed to be concentrating on his thoughts more and I still had nothing to say.

Dr. Coleman was a middle aged man who immediately knew what was wrong with me with one quick inspection. My puffy eyes (I didn't know if they looked puffy but they felt funny) bulged when he turned around from my chart with a syringe attached to a giant needle. Before I could scream, he injected the fluid into my arm and handed me a prescription with some free samples of allergy medication. I was rubbing my arm with the taped cotton ball on our way out, still wondering how it all happened so fast.

I was a groggy mess on the ride back and was thankful the itchy feeling through out my skin was temporarily muted from the injection.

"Do you have your keys?" Edward asked next to me in a low voice. After so much silence, I was startled by the sound breaking through.

"Um, yes," I mumbled as we pulled up in front of my apartment building.

Edward helped me out the car for the second time today and guided me up the front steps with a firm hold under my elbows. Even though I had already seen a doctor, Edward was still on a one track mind. He grabbed the keys out of my slow-reflexed hands to unlock the door and urged me inside to my apartment. Now that we were talking again, I felt more at ease to question him.

"How did you get me a doctor's appointment on short notice? Is he your doctor?" I asked, my words slightly slurred, my curiosity was evident.

For some reason he chuckled as we entered my apartment. This wasn't how I envisioned him coming over again after my lasagna night. "Dr. Coleman has had a few sticky lawsuits in the past. He owes me some favors," he answered cryptically.

"What kind of sticky lawsuits? Malpractice?" I suddenly felt alarmed. "And in the past? Didn't you just move to Seattle a few months ago?"

"Bella, your questions are hitting me right and left. Dr. Coleman is a brilliant doctor, it's just sometimes his methods are unorthodox, but really it's his brisk rudeness that offends patients." He chuckled again like he was remembering a past incident. "I wouldn't bring you to a wack doctor, don't you trust me?"

I left the question rhetorical as he peeled my jacket off and urged me to my bedroom. I had to sigh through my thick sinuses with the anticipated comfort of curling into my bed. It was a little unkempt from this morning but I didn't care. I lay down and smiled into my pillow. I felt Edward pull the blankets over me, tucking me in.

_Wait, Edward was in my apartment tucking me in my bed._

I tried focusing my puffed eyes, hoping the sight of them hadn't repulsed him too much. "Why are you being nice to me?"

He grimaced. "I guess you're not used to that, huh?"

"It's nice… but I never delude myself into thinking it will last."

"How could you let this allergic reaction go for this long? Or did it just start up this morning?" he inquired with a parental tone, changing the subject effortlessly.

"I felt a little strange yesterday," I admitted. "I thought my skin was itchy crawly from your irritating presence."

"Very funny," he said bitterly and shrunk away a little. "Why do you have to be such a bitchy shrew sometimes?"

I was surprised that I had actually hurt his feelings and felt guilty at my bad manners. I wasn't used to him caring for me like he did today. But he also whited-out my keyboard. "You bring it out in me. I don't know why you're offended all of a sudden. You can dish it but you can't take it?" I half-joked, hoping to ease the tension.

"It's difficult to warm up to a frigid woman," he said sorely, but I sensed he was teasing me a little by the quirk of his mouth.

I couldn't help but let out a wheezing giggle. "It's difficult to warm up to an arrogant jerk."

"Stop arguing for once, you're sick and you sneeze like a surly kitten."

"If you want me to stop arguing then you'll have to leave," I slurred, fighting the drowsy side affects of the medication.

Edward glanced at his wristwatch. "I'll have to tell the doctor to give you a heavier dose next time," he murmured to himself.

My eyes drooped shut and I felt his body weight lean forward to tuck me in more securely. Forgetting myself, I smiled and snuggled further into my pillow. I didn't feel the mattress move anymore so I assumed he was still sitting beside me.

"Edward?" I mumbled in my sleepy state.

His body shifted. "What it is Bella?" he asked quietly.

"Thank you."

He sighed heavily. "You're welcome."

~/~/~/~

Birds chirping, sun streaming through the windows, and the only thing ruining such a pleasant scene was the sound of my phone ringing. I rolled over and inhaled deeply to wake up. Belatedly, I realized I could actually _breathe_ and my head wasn't fuzzy. I inspected my skin as I sat up and there wasn't that strange itchy feeling anymore.

Meanwhile my phone was still ringing.

I stiffly reached for it. "Hello?" I croaked into the receiver with bewilderment.

"Good morning, Ms. Swan. How are you today?"

"Ed- Edward?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella, feeling better this morning?"

"Um yes, thank you." I readjusted myself in my bed to fully wake up. "Why are you calling me at home?" Maybe I forgot to do something at the office yesterday or he had a work related question.

"Your car is still in Lawrence Associates' parking garage," he answered carefully. "I'm here to drive you—us, to work."

He was here to pick me up for work because he's nice?

"Its half-past seven, will you be ready soon? That is, if you're feeling up to it..." I could sense he was starting to feel awkward.

I sat upright and flung my legs over the edge of my bed. "Right! I'll be down in uhh, fifteen. I mean ten."

He laughed lightly into the phone. "It's alright. I'll be waiting outside in my car."

The call ended and I rushed into action. I took a quick shower to rinse off, brushed my teeth and hair simultaneously thinking _FuckShitDamn Edward Cullen is waiting downstairs for me! _Rifling through my closet furiously, I settled for a light blue sweater and chocolate brown dress pants. I twirled my hair into a bun and slipped on a pair of flats. Before I headed out the door I grabbed my free sample allergy meds for the day, just incase.

When I stepped outside I looked around not sure which car belonged to Edward. I didn't really see much of it yesterday when my sinuses almost clamped my face in. Parked right in front of me, a passenger window rolled down revealing his beautiful face.

I stopped in my tracks at the silver Jaguar_. This is Edward Cullen's car?!_ Now I could understand why he liked car commercials, he was a shopper. I'm not particularly car crazy, but I almost drooled on the spot and didn't feel my legs as I walked over to the passenger door. Edward in a Jaguar was quite a delicious over the top eye candy sight.

Jaguar's tagline is _Muscular. Beautiful. Bold._ Were they talking about their cars or their drivers?

I slid into the passenger seat and placed my briefcase on my lap, feeling anxious again. Edward smelled freshly showered and shaved and gave me a tight lipped curling smile. _Oh so sexy._ If only he never opened his mouth to speak.

"Bella?"

"What?"

He reached across me, drawing the seat belt strap along my torso, his jaw so close to my lips. "Seat belt," he instructed and clicked it.

When I breathed out, a bit red-faced by his close proximity, I shot him a weak glare. The little devil did that on purpose and I was drunk on his scent, his car, his eyes…

The game was back on.

He snickered and pulled onto the main road.

"I feel much better. Those drugs worked really well." That was my way of saying 'thanks again' without kissing his feet.

"So I see," he replied, giving me a sidelong glance. "You looked terrible yesterday. The contrast is quite astounding."

I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not and shot him an annoyed look.

He returned my scowl with a grin. "In any case, you should stop working on those folders."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Of course." He looked offended. "You think I would have you continue? Swan, you may be gorgeous, but you're a scary woman. I'd hate to see your raging allergies mix with your raging hormones again."

I ignored his childish tone. "You know allergic reactions can flare up as quickly as they go away. I just have delicate skin," I mumbled.

Edward glanced down at me through his lashes. "Yes, you do."

I turned to him with a quizzical expression.

He cleared his throat and remarked, "Which is why I'm assigning an office assistant to finish the job."

I smiled a little, but I didn't want him to think he was doing me a huge favor. I had my pride.

After a moment he asked, "So tell me. What's with your aversion to men?" I sensed he was teasing me, but he sounded like he was commenting on the weather.

"It's not an aversion, obviously," I replied somewhat acidly.

"Did you have your heart broken?" he asked more seriously.

"No, I'd never be stupid enough to let myself get that close." I admit my tone was a little detached.

"Ouch, Ice Queen."

"I'm not being cold-hearted, I'm being smart. It's not solely about men… I don't want to get locked down in a relationship with no back door."

"Backdoor?"

"A way out."

"There's always a way out. It's about finding the reason to stay in," he said pointedly.

"Why do you even care so much?" I argued heatedly.

"Was it your parents then who planted the seed for your current state of mind?" he persisted rudely.

His interrogations were always so tenacious and unrelenting.

"Not intentionally," I answered more calmly. "My home in Forks…it's exactly the same as my mother left it years ago before they divorced. Charlie has left everything the same, even the furniture. I never blamed her for leaving but I see how lonely he can get, like he was abandoned. I don't want to end up like that. I know that's not accurate but…I don't expect you to understand." I wasn't sure I wanted to be discussing the subject of marriage either.

Thankfully we pulled into the garage and I was anxious to get away. I did not envision my morning this way. I liked riding with Edward, but I should have realized it was also his perfect opportunity to corner me. He turned the engine off and shifted in his seat to look at me. Before I could press the door handle, he locked the car. I twisted around to look at him with a frown. I also became aware of the close confines of the cabin and how quiet it had suddenly become without the noise of the street.

"That can't be the only reason," he stated knowingly.

"I've had my share of bad boyfriends and dates. It's a waste of time and I've already found a way around the mess," I answered vaguely, referring to the occasional one-night stands and non-committal dates. I liked skipping home afterward with my independence and worry-free lifestyle.

"You haven't dated me." His eyes bored into mine.

"I didn't realize you had a death wish. You know we would end up killing each other at some point," I argued dryly.

"You know, I've had my share of bad dates, too."

"Oh really?" I asked with a skeptical arched brow.

He smiled ruefully. "Sure. My mother would find ways of setting me up before I moved to New York. Sometimes I complied just to appease her, other times I flatly refused and she would trick me into it."

I couldn't help giggling a little. If his mother tortured him like that (and I had the urge to send her a gift basket for it) then no wonder he thought our interactions were mild in comparison. "Give me some examples." I couldn't help it, I was achingly curious now.

His smile widened and he tapped a graceful finger to his chin in thought. "One woman had a very large head, I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying because I kept contemplating on the abnormal size of it. One was as quiet and cold as a fish, very uncomfortable night. One woman actually had a glass eye, which she adjusted several times during dinner. It made a strange squeaking sound, I thought I would throw up my appetizer. Patricia was the worst. She would ask me questions and then talk over my answer. Anything I managed to say she would laugh high-pitched like I had made a joke." He rolled his eyes toward me. "Shall I go on?"

At this point I wasn't even trying to stifle my laughs. They had come bursting out in strangled fits until I was full blown laughing shamelessly. _The glass eye wasn't as bad as being talked over? Oh Edward... _When I thought my fit would subside, I imagined the smirking composed Edward Cullen sitting through each torturous date with these horrid, eager women while his face alternated between pale and green.

Eventually I had to wipe tears from my eyes and felt the need to reciprocate some painful experiences. "One guy I dated had a hair transplant and kept asking me to touch his head. Another had a gold tooth! One guy worked for an ad agency and had the nerve to ask me to pose nude for one of his projects."

At this point we were both cracking up and red in the face.

"Then you can see how I'd find you extremely refreshing," he said between laughs. The man was constantly surprising me. It seemed only natural that his experiences would have turned him off from relationships completely…

I sobered and glanced at the clock on his dashboard. _Damn, we were already late for work._ Following my gaze to the digital clock, he unlocked the doors. Despite my freedom I looked back at him with intensity. "Aside from dating, you can have almost any woman. They practically throw themselves at your feet."

"Jealous?" he teased.

I smiled bitter-sweetly at him. "Not at all. But why settle for one when you can have many and still sleep at night, guilt-free?"

"I don't think I'd be sleeping much at night." He grinned.

I huffed irritably and swung myself out of his sleek car. I was fishing for a reason, any reason why he was so interested in me. I wasn't any good at interrogating the way he was, at least not on this subject. I felt a little embarrassed and liked avoiding this type of conversation, but part of me really wanted to understand it all.

Edward silently tailed me into the elevators. I kept shooting him annoyed glances, but his lips kept smugly curling at the corners. When the doors parted I said, "Thanks for the ride," which sounded pretty lame to my ears, and I frowned a little as I went to my desk to start my day.

Another interruption prevented me from a smooth morning. Alice jumped on me before I could shrug out of my coat.

"Why are you late?" she asked accusingly.

"Traffic," I lied.

"But you're never late. And I saw you come in with Edward." Her eyes brightened at the possibilities. She scrutinized my face and neck, probably looking for traces of smudged lipstick or bite marks.

"Pure coincidence." I didn't know why I was lying, it's not like I had anything to hide.

~/~/~/~

On a whole other level I was going to give Edward a taste of his own medicine. After carefully contemplating the evil things I would do to him, I settled on the perfect prank. I decided to tap into Edward's _doubt_. He was always so sure of himself to an irritating degree.

During lunch, I left the garage and parked my car on the street. I wanted it to look like I had already left the office when Edward made his way to his car at the end of the day. By early evening I peaked out my doorway, waiting for him to leave. He was looking confident and damn sexy, striding out of his office with coat and bag, I didn't feel a bit of uncertainty.

"Still here, Bella?" Alice asked as she shouldered her bag.

I inconspicuously continued typing at my computer. "Yup. Just finishing up a few last minute things," I told her, staring extra hard at my monitor.

"Okay. See you tomorrow," she chirped on her way out.

As soon as she and Jasper disappeared into the elevator, I looked down at my extra bag with a devious smile. There were still a few people working in the office but most were packing up to leave. I slowly pulled on my coat, shut off my computer, and grabbed my things. I saw Lauren has already left too. Perfect.

Alice's lock picking set really came in handy—I'll admit that as I fiddled the metal pick in Edward's office door. When I heard the click I cast a few glances around before slipping in, closing the door behind me. Not needing to keep up my stealthy pretense, I rushed to Edward's desk, setting my bag down on top of it.

Earlier, I'd bought ten small yellow rubber ducks and numbered them one through ten with a black marker. It wasn't a good idea to take my time, but I wanted to make the most of this opportunity. I took nine of the ducks out of the bag and strategically placed them around his office. One in his bottom desk drawer, on top of his garbage can, squeezed in his book shelf, in a box of folders, in his tall cylindrical pen holder, filing drawer, another box of folders, behind a book so when he pulled it off the shelf the duck would appear, and last but not least in his top drawer where he kept his highlighters—his favorite tool.

Before gathering my things I peeked into my bag to see one last duck, number six. I cackled quietly to myself, knowing he would be searching for number six relentlessly. Without drawing attention to myself, I quickly exited the office and drove home with a malicious, triumphant smile plastered on my face the whole way.

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**Don't forget to give the thread on Twilighted some love :) It's under Alternate Universe - All Human. http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?t=2582**


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter is the longest one yet. Over 11K. It's heavier and we get inside Bella's head more. And yeah, it's a big 'ol Christmas Party. I hope you enjoy. I really do.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously.... Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us." - Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice_

"_I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up." - Tom Lehrer_

**Chapter Thirteen**

I had a strange feeling that I was being followed.

My skin prickled, the hairs on my back and neck stood up, even my scalp tingled. Instinctively, my hearing strained to farther distances all around me. Past the city sounds, my paranoid brain heard nothing except buzzing to the silence. I bundled into my winter coat more and quickened my walking pace down 6th Ave.

It wasn't a busy main street, but it wasn't a lone alleyway either. I admit my nerves were a little on edge.

Usually Emmett and I walked together to social events and he was my 'friend date' last year. If he hadn't found a girl by the end of the night, I would tease him for losing his groove or getting saddle sore on that horse. I remembered within a half-hour of my teasing, he had disappeared from the party with a random pretty female out of the bunch. Now that he found a woman to keep him fully satisfied and secured all of his attention, he probably didn't mind my lack of attempts to contact him.

I hoped I would see him with Rosalie tonight, as a couple. It had been tense for me, communicating with her at the office all the time and wondering if Emmett was locked up a few yards away. I didn't mind if he was, though I wouldn't touch anything in her office ever again. It was the secrecy of it all, brewing beneath my interactions with her.

With the holiday cheer sprinkling the air and my two best friends paired off, I felt like something was expected of me during this happy time. Christmas felt like a second Valentine's Day somehow, but I knew it was completely irrational for me to think that. I wasn't looking for a date, or a cheesy holiday miracle. In fact, I really enjoyed the quiet time in Forks with Charlie. My emotions felt strung out for the last few months and I wasn't oblivious to the fact that Edward had a lot to do with it.

Just thinking of his gloating smirk brought on a new wave of determination and I decided to have fun at this party and not worry about the pressures of dating—holiday season or not. I admit sometimes flirting came to me as naturally as breathing, but I have no expectations of finding love on this wintry night. I wasn't expecting to cozy up on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace with my beloved, as he watched me open a gift box containing a diamond necklace while our matching Dalmatians play on the floor. I almost laughed aloud at the very idea.

I was feeling pretty good about taking Edward on a rickety roller coaster ride for the last few days too. Maybe it was the right pair of shoes or ducky number 6, but I felt sure I could keep him from getting the upper hand tonight. I was confident that any remark he threw at me would come from his partially distracted brain.

Indeed, Edward had been very distracted the last few days. On Wednesday he had been all smirky and amused like he was in on a secret joke. I had never seen him behave so smug in my life and I thought my prank had failed miserably. Was I the joke and he was silently laughing at me? That was my first impression. He didn't mention the duckies at all though. He pretended like everything was normal, but it was obvious he had discovered them. Perhaps he thought they were cute. I had returned his smug smiles with confused frowns as we went through our routine of sipping coffee and bickering until Alice arrived.

Yesterday, he spent an unreasonable amount of time out of sight. I had decided to drop off a file to his office, partially as an excuse to check on him. When I entered, he had barely acknowledged my presence.

He sat in his chair deep in thought and was not his usual relaxed self with his fingers laced atop his desk.

I needed to test if he was mentally all there or if his brain had turned into a giant hollow yellow duck. The image almost made me giggle if it hadn't been for his unfocused green eyes. All of his glinting amusement was clouded over. That had been the most disconcerting change.

"So Edward, about those marriage certificates for the Wineburgh case..." His head tipped slightly in my general direction, but he continued to look around, randomly lifting objects off his desk in a seemingly casual manner. The stiffness of his posture said otherwise.

When I had stopped speaking, he finally looked up.

"For the Wineburgh case," I enunciated slowly. "You won't mind if I get those marriage certificates to you by three o' clock, will you?"

He lowered his head back down to continue his less than subtle search. "That's fine," he mumbled.

_Mr. Cullen_ would call and bug me about getting legal documents to him from any current lawsuit as early as possible. Hell, sometimes he made me wait by the fax machine until it arrived. I had even put a chair next to the machine and read a book to pass the time. On one occasion he had even suggested I buy walkie talkies for me and the FedEx carrier when documents were over-nighted to the office.

Goodness, had I crippled the man's spirit? Surely not...

When I had recovered from my dubious thoughts, his head was bent down, looking at the floor and peeking around the furniture. He was almost halfway out of his chair on his one-track-minded search, mumbling to himself like a crazy person.

I felt like the one responsible to snap him out of his little spell. And despite his distraction, a little politeness wouldn't kill him. When I had slammed the file on his desk, I noticed that it took him a second longer to react.

Nine duckies could not do this to a man of his character!

"Edward," I said harshly, and stomped my foot on the floor. Only he could drive me to behave so childishly.

His slightly ruffled hair snapped up at the noise. His green eyes were more focused and had filled with a look of irritation. "Slacking today, Swan? I'm sure you have plenty of work to catch up on," he said rudely, referring to all my work I hadn't been doing because of _him_ and his stupid dusty documents from the Stone Age. Not to mention they were a serious health hazard in my opinion and should be promptly lit on fire.

"What the hell are you doing bent over like an orangutan?" I couldn't resist returning the jab; he'd always brought the quality out in me.

He abruptly straightened in his chair. "Bent over?" His heavy eyebrows rose quizzically for a moment but then his lips had spread into a small, secretive, pleased smile. I guess I wasn't the only one with a dirty mind.

Just as I was about to roll my eyes at his expression, it had soon faded as I saw the wheels turning and thoughts flicker across his eyes briefly. Finally his lips pouted up into a frown and he'd said, "I'm looking for my pen. It's nothing."

As he continued eyeing his familiar office like it was a strange environment, he kept one hand on the desk and started tapping his fingers impatiently. Whether it was his frustration in not finding his desired object (ducky number 6) which was currently on my bedside table at home, or sending me a signal to leave, I wasn't sure. I had decided to take the hint and get back to my work.

Earlier today we did not drink coffee together. He was a no show by nine-thirty so I had gone next door and bought my own venti triple shot soy latte with extra foam by myself. I had never expected him to wait on me, but the least he could've done was give me notice that he had other plans. Sometimes we didn't drink our coffee together or get lunch, which was rare, but he usually told me in passing. Sometimes he was away on business or had a meeting in the morning, whatever. His brush off and the slow-working caffeine had put me in an irritable mood this morning.

When he hadn't shown up for lunch either, my foul mood turned into one of concern. One would think THE Edward Cullen would be passing out candy canes, all laughs and holiday smiles around the office. Why was it that his teasing and pranks left him smug but mine left me feeling guilty? It just wasn't fair. I had grudgingly made my way over to his office.

When I had leaned my ear against his door, I heard bumping around and moving of heavy objects. I knocked but there was no answer. Naturally I had let myself in to survey the damage. I entered into chaos and mess. If I hadn't known any better I would have thought Edward was packing up and leaving.

All of his books were cleared off the giant shelves and stacked into neat perfectly aligned piles on the floor. His desk was crookedly moved to the side and I could see the marks and unused space on the floor. His chair was placed upside down on the desk and all of his desk objects like paperweights and metal file bins were categorized in the center of the room. All the drawers of the filing cabinet were flung open, its contents also taken out and stacked beside it. Off to the side was Edward rifling through a bankers box of folders impatiently but carefully. And again, he did not look up when I entered the room.

I'd shut the door behind me to contain the disaster. I didn't know where to begin as I silently walked up to him. I kept my distance though. I wasn't sure if he was going to freak out at me in a burst of anger or continue to ignore me. Edward never had random bursts of anger but I had never seen him this determined before over something so silly. I knew the duckies would bother him, but I hadn't foreseen him uncover every crevice of his office with such unwavering diligence and tenacity. I had partially misunderstood his arrogance for his need to stay focused and be in control.

In hopes of distracting him, I seated myself on the desk and scooted so I was in front of him. I leaned back and rested my weight on the palms of my hands and stared at him intently.

Nothing.

I had even crossed my legs so my skirt rode higher to my upper thigh. A man never failed to think with his other head.

Nothing.

Once the papers were neatly piled to the side, Edward turned the empty box upside down above his head and searched where there was nothing.

I lifted my crossed leg and nudged his stomach with the toe of my Charles Davids. _Hey you, pay attention. _I had to suppress a thrill in my gut when I felt the firm abdominal muscles beneath his dress shirt.

His eyes had flown to the feel of my toe nudging and finally looked up at me, surprised by my presence. He put the box down reluctantly on the floor beside him.

"You know we get to leave soon right?" I had asked with an arched brow. The company locked up early so everyone could go home and get ready for the holiday party later.

He glanced at his wristwatch in mild surprise. "I don't feel like going to the holiday party," he said grumpily as his gaze dropped down to his desk, pretending to neatly fix the already stacked papers. I had thought his melancholy mood suspicious and not just caused by the last duck. So much for holiday cheer.

"Why not?" I asked with the tilt of my head to get a better look at his face.

He shrugged. "Mr. Lawrence has me working during the party." He'd emphasized _working_ with dry sarcasm and another tone I couldn't distinguish, but he'd clearly been disgruntled by it.

"So you're doing this instead?" I asked disbelievingly and gestured to the entire room with a sweeping arm.

He looked up at me again. "I was just—"

"Making a mess," I finished. And I would not help him clean his office if he tried to pass it off as another 'project'.

"An organized mess." He smiled for the first time in two days. It was soft and tight-lipped. I had missed it.

I forgot that my toe was still pressing against him until his gaze trailed from my shoe and followed up my leg toward the hem of my skirt. His eyes brightened with partially concealed interest as if he were imagining the rest. Or rather, _remembering._ Not having a box or anything else in his hands, he reached up and snaked a hand around my ankle. My whole leg twitched with the unexpected touch. His hand was warm and his fingers were gentle but firm.

He was taking hold of my leg to put it down, right?

I met his gaze, unsure of this strange moment of debating in silence. Then his hand brushed up the side of my calf at the same time I had quickly retracted my foot. It wasn't clear to me if my leg had moved against his hand when I pulled away or if his hand purposely slid along my skin with intention. I broke our eye contact when I felt my face grow warm and sat up to smooth my skirt back in place for something to do other than meet his gaze.

The silence had become so uncomfortable as the uncertainty continued to hang heavy in the air. Despite my throat clearing, I felt the need to slice through it.

"Wow, Edward Cullen hasn't made a snarky remark in over ten minutes," I said flippantly. "I must make a note of this in my diary." My eyes rolled to the ceiling as I tapped a finger to my chin, pretending to ponder my next entry.

He shot me a contemptuous scowl and put the papers back into the box forcefully with a loud _thump_.

I hopped off the desk with a smirk and walked to the door, counting down in my mind with each step.

_Four. Three. Two. And…_

"You might want to save those clever one-liners for the party, because I'll be there," he stated with a tightly locked jaw.

I had choked on my laugh as I shut the door behind me.

So here I was walking by myself on the bustling streets of downtown Seattle. I cast another paranoid glance behind me to assure myself that I wasn't being followed. I'd been told by many that I had a wild imagination sometimes, so I shook off the bad feeling. I concentrated on happier thoughts—like my dress. My initial worry over it had proved to be a waste of time. Once it was no longer laughing at me from the hanger, it felt really nice against my curves. I didn't feel choked or squeezed like I was wearing a corset or girdle. My heels were easy to walk in too. That didn't used to be the case though. Lawrence Associates required its employees to look nice, so Alice had insisted I try heels. I learned quickly.

Alice also insisted on critiquing my appearance before we entered the hotel. I had blown my hair dry to a shiny mass and applied minimal makeup for my eyes. She was still feeling a bit sore that I wouldn't let her have an active role in getting me ready. I let Alice get her way most of the time, but I needed to put my foot down when it came to Edward, and she took no pains in hiding her motives for trying primp me for him.

Not that my firmness on the subject really mattered to her, she always had her tricks. I knew first and foremost though, that she was my friend before matchmaker. I just had to keep reminding myself of that fact.

"Look Jazz, the Bella of the ball has finally arrived," Alice teased with a huge smile. "Did you replace me with a professional beautician? I can't believe how amazing we look!" she gushed at my shoulder.

I had barely approached the hotel outside when she sidled up to me, hyper in her excitement. She looked beautiful in her short pink and black sparkled dress and now that she was spending the holiday with Jasper, she was practically glowing. I was startled for a moment by the wide happiness in her eyes. Angela's pretty face on her wedding day had had the same expression.

I scoffed modestly at her compliment, but couldn't hide my own grin. "No one helped me Alice."

Her eyes widened slightly in confirmation. "Oh, well you must have gone all out for this party and the people here…" she sang slowly with her knowing hazel eyes and being terribly obvious in her assumptions.

Before I could argue, Jasper put a lazy arm around my shoulders. "Yeah Bella, really you look great. Dressed to impress, aye?" His tone also seemed grateful for my efforts laced with his casual friendly manner. I could understand Alice but they were both absurdly over attentive as to how I looked tonight.

"It's the dress mostly… Alice wouldn't take no for an answer," I teased half-heartedly, trying to deny my hard work.

"I knew it would be perfect. And just look at yourself, you're gorgeous. I'm impressed with your efforts."

"Alice, I didn't put that much effort into this," I lied shamelessly.

She ignored my protests and continued to assess my appearance. I always shifted in place uncomfortably when she did this. Jasper was of no help and found her highly amusing. Then suddenly her eyes lit up with inspiration. She dug through her small shell-sized purse for something. I gave Jasper a sidelong glance and he smiled with raised eyebrows. This was an Alice moment, so we let her be in her element without complaint.

She pulled out a stick of lip-gloss and handed it to me. "Keep it," she insisted when I almost refused.

"Why do I need this?"

"You need that extra shine for a man." She wigged her fingers playfully in front of her lips. "It's like instant seduction."

I cracked up a little but did as I was told. I only dabbed a tiny bit on, though. I didn't want my lips to be over-gooed and sticky like most women.

Jasper chuckled at the two of us. "Where's Emmett?" he asked seriously.

Alice and I shared a glance. We hadn't told anyone about the incident in Rosalie's office. I was really impressed that she hadn't spilled her guts to Jasper about it.

"You know Emmett, he lives by the Gals Before Pals rule," I answered quickly in an offhanded tone and a smile fixed on my face.

"Right." Jasper shook his head with a grin. "If a guy has a chance to get laid he has the right to ditch his friends at any time."

"Yeah, it's his Golden Rule," I confirmed, relieved that the conversation had taken a lighter tone.

He barked a laugh. "I'm still surprised he doesn't have the entire city of angry women and fathers after his life yet."

Alice and I answered him with a nervous giggle. We both knew Rosalie would come back with a vengeance if Emmett tried to play her like all the other girls. I vividly imagined her cutting his balls off and then feeding them to him. Frightening. And that would happen before Mr. Lawrence got a hold of him. I feared for my friend's life and secretly hoped he and Rosalie worked out now.

When Inspector Alice was finished with me, we made our way inside the hotel and checked our coats. The hotel was buzzing with life and smelled like hot chocolate and peppermint inside. _Must be scented candles or something._ There was a giant lavishly decorated Christmas tree in the center of the lobby and tiny sprigs of mistletoe hung everywhere.

I would mingle, snack, drink, and try to force non-work related conversation out of coworkers. Even when you put a bunch of us together—and the rumors are true—no one can get along with lawyers, we can only really get along with each other. It seemed the most arrogant or successful of us remained single or stayed in relationships with partners that were submissive and worshipped the stronger personality to a degree. But despite all of our minor differences, we are generally on the same wavelength. We could describe riveting stories of past court room cases with cheer and clinking glasses. We told ourselves that we did it for the families, divorces, and child custody battles. We also did it for the money and called it noble. We pat ourselves on the back for serving bullshit on a silver platter, but we really care about what we do too.

We entered the party room and my cynical musings fled my mind as I took in the atmosphere. It sounded like a giant beehive laced with laughter and chatter. Holiday music was playing and the food table was being taken advantage of.

Out of habit, I scanned for the flaming bronze hair. After a moment my eyes landed on him. His back partially faced me and I felt my breath silently catch in my throat. Sure, Edward had always looked like an exceptionally gorgeous man. I'd seen him at work in his slacks, tie and dress shirt and at the bars in dark jeans and buttoned-down shirts. But I had never seen him _dressed up_. My eyes glued to his form and I didn't berate myself for openly ogling. This trance of mine overshadowed every other time I got caught looking or snuck glances at him. He was wearing charcoal gray dress pants and a dark green collared shirt tucked in with a thin black leather belt adorning a flashy buckle. The first button was left open and exposed the hollow of his throat while the silky tailored fabric clung to him in ways that left hardly anything to the imagination. His hair, _oh his hair_, wasn't just messy, but carefully crafted messy.

My glossed lips had nothing on his hair.

He hadn't seen me yet as he spoke to a few people—two other men and a pretty blonde woman. I watched his hands move gracefully, articulating his words and dancing in sync with his smile. I knew him well enough to recognize his expression of keen enthusiasm and authority when he was talking about his boring documents, which he thought were incredibly exciting.

"Wow, it is happening in here!" Alice squealed within earshot of twenty people.

Jasper chuckled at his girlfriend with adoration as the three of us caught Edward's attention. His eyes darted to me and a mixture of tortured and amazed crossed his face.

As my body felt a flutter radiate from the pit of my abdomen, my spirits lowered too. I wouldn't be able to resist him confidently like I'd planned.

His gaze snapped away as one of the men he'd been talking to, repeated his question. He turned to them reluctantly, but apologetically and continued his conversation.

I followed Alice and Jasper to a group that included Jessica and Mike with a few others. I acknowledged Mike with polite indifference while Alice chatted up a storm. Whatever she was talking about made Jasper laugh really hard and he constantly gazed at her with fondness.

I tried concentrating after the introductions and small talk were made, but I couldn't latch on to their deeper conversations. I kept thinking about was Edward's presence in the room, which I had become very aware of in an irrational and overwhelming way. I didn't look at him across the room but seemed to feel his every chuckle and movement, despite the noise.

I wondered if I should approach him but I also didn't want to interrupt his conversations with other people. Our silly interactions weren't known to the entire company, even though that had never stopped me before from barging into his office for chocolate whenever I felt like it. We shared our lunch hours together frequently, that much was known, but I didn't want to be assuming or presumptuous in my relationship with him. I suddenly felt like our joking and teasing could mean more when the words were backed by drinking, the holiday, strong attraction, and meaningful glances.

Eventually Jessica and Mike left our group with Lauren, who shot me an annoyed look on their way. I kept pace with Alice and Jasper, speaking to Jasper mostly while Alice became the social butterfly extraordinaire. After awhile I decided to check out the food table and left them with a few parting words.

The company wasn't going to break out the alcohol until after the holiday speeches from Mr. and Mr. Lawrence. I suffered in silence with a glass of cranberry juice until then.

"Lawrence Associates certainly indulges for their annual Christmas party." Edward's musing voice loomed up behind me.

His eyes were gentle and humorous and a bit guarded when I turned around. He looked down at me with a lopsided smile. I tried smiling back, but my eyes caught the muscles in his shoulders flex beneath his shirt. Then my gaze trailed down, observing the way his belt fastened around his trim waist. My mouth watered and it wasn't from the food on the table. Seeing him up close was almost too much for me to handle as the vanilla, fresh laundry, and his own musk scent assailed my senses. My eyelids almost drooped from this new high.

_Swan, respond_.

I swallowed hard. "And aren't you glad I insisted you attend?"

His smile broadened into that smooth smirk of his. "Like I would miss our tit for tat."

"You don't win as often as you think." I couldn't help my own spreading smile. _Number 6 ducky, I love you._

"You have a strange pleasure in dueling it out with me," he teased.

"Quit bullshitting me, that's the pot reprimanding the kettle. You're the one that just said you didn't want to miss our tit for tat," I said with fake outrage and sipped my juice. _Were we seriously arguing about arguing?_

"Such sharp words coming from a beautiful mouth." He sighed dramatically with a chuckle.

"That should be the least of your worries. I've got a stapler strapped to my inner thigh. And your name is inscribed on the handle," I joked.

"Now that sounds like the least of my worries. No doubt you've got a sizable collection of weapons to keep off the average interested male."

I snorted dryly. "True enough. I've got souvenirs of male parts hung around my apartment from all of my victims."

"Then what are you doing here? You should be at home sharpening your tools."

I looked at him pointedly. "Don't you know? I'm here to scope out my next victim."

"You flatter me," he said sarcastically and wistfully put a hand to his heart.

I shook my head, smiling at him. He was so infectious tonight. The way he could pull off that adorable attitude in the midst of his insufferable arrogance was beyond me.

"You look stunning tonight, by the way." He was watching the party when he spoke.

He would smile at me when he teased, but had a solemn face when he was nice. Sometimes I could barely keep up with his mood changes.

"Thank you. I stun you tonight?" I asked playfully.

"Yes. You really are exquisite. It hasn't escaped the notice of every man in this room since you arrived."

I was flattered in a strange way by the indirect part of his compliment. He had been watching me all night to make that assumption.

"You look really nice tonight too. It would be such a shame to use my weapon on you," I said, leaning toward him.

"I'm not wearing a tie tonight for a reason." His smile curled beautifully at the corners.

We laughed together. The deep green of his eyes were bright with mischief and humor. No one was paying attention to us amidst the loud chatter and dancing. I could just grab his collar and kiss him and take him home with me right now. I wouldn't be able to blame it on the liquor either.

"Edward, I almost lost you," a sugary voice said beside him, interrupting our giggles and transfixed smiles.

She was a very pretty woman, and laid a small hand on his forearm. I noticed her earlier talking in his group when I'd first arrived. She had long silky blonde curls atop her head with tendrils framing her cheeks. Her lips were light shimmery pink and her blue eyes were bright and sharp.

Edward stiffened beside her and looked down at her hand on his arm with a frown. _Who was she to be touching him with such familiarity? _Maybe his cousin came into town on short notice so he invited her along. Yes, that must be it...

Edward seemed lost for words, not even bothering to introduce us. That wasn't a good sign. The blonde offered her hand to me. "Hello, I'm Tanya Lawrence."

I shook her hand automatically. "Bella Swan."

"Nice to meet you," she said sincerely.

"And how do you know each other?" I asked with raised eyebrows. I shot Edward a questioning look, but he avoided my gaze uncharacteristically.

"Daddy owns half of the firm and I just love mingling with everyone. Edward was so nice to bring me tonight and I can never turn down a party." She went on conversationally and leaned into him, her hand still on his arm.

His date? It was hard to believe at first, but I couldn't deny what I was hearing and seeing right in front of me. I felt my whole face tighten and somehow kept my polite smile fixed in place. As friendly as Tanya was, she clearly stepped in to assert her territory. I was lost for words myself, trying to understand. If I kept blinking like an idiot maybe she would disappear the next time my eyelids opened.

She didn't.

That strange familiar ache spread inside my chest and my stomach felt queasy. Why would Edward act this way with me if he brought a date? Was it guilt? Had I been misinterpreting him all along? Did ducky number six and my new chastity belt drive him to move on? My brain scrambled to understand, but it was no use with my anger tainting these thoughts. I was too nauseated to stand there when Edward refused to talk to me or at least have the consideration to defend his new decision.

"It's nice to meet you. If you'll excuse me, there are other people worth catching up with too," I said quickly and gave Edward a venomous look. He had paled, his shoulders turned rigid, and I thought I saw beads of sweat on his brow. Served him right.

I walked away with a forced smile as the anger boiled inside and rolled off of me over and over. Edward was the evilest of men, the very devil incarnate. If it hadn't been for a room full of people I would have beat the living crap out of him with the heel of my shoe. Well, maybe not.

I finally spotted Alice and Rosalie and walked straight up to join them. Unaware of my recent exchange with Edward, Alice smiled at me as she kept talking to Rosalie about her dress. Rosalie out-shined us easily in her red sumptuous party gown and flowing blonde hair around her shoulders.

I was still steaming from my ears and rudely interrupted them. "When are they going to break out the liquor yet, God!"

"I know right? We should hit the bars after this," Alice agreed. Then she looked at me more closely and back toward Edward _with his date_. I could practically see horns protruding from his forehead and his devilish tail idly floating behind him. "Who is that woman all over Edward?" she asked incredulously.

Rosalie looked in the direction of Alice's gaze with a tight-lipped frown like the one she usually gave Jessica. "That's Tanya," she said with a reluctant sigh. "She's one of my many cousins, but the most irritating of them all. She begged my uncle to come and he just gives her whatever she wants," she explained with disapproval.

"Ugh," was all Alice said because she wasn't rude enough to insult our boss's relation. However, she continued to look at Tanya distastefully and with calculating eyes. I really hoped she wasn't forming any plans of demise for the woman; it would just worsen the situation.

Rosalie gave me a knowing and apologetic look. "I'll apologize in advance for her behavior tonight, Isabella."

I scoffed bitterly, deciding not to concede the fact that Rosalie just subtly acknowledged an attachment between Edward and I. "No need, what is Edward Cullen to me? Nothing except an evil pain in the ass. Now that I know how he treats women, it makes me feel lucky in my escape." I crossed my arms stubbornly, still fuming.

Mr. and Mr. Lawrence made their holiday speech about another good year, the company's integrity 'thanks to us', and best wishes for the coming new year. Like the chiming bells of a church, the bar opened up. Everybody herded in that direction like a group of hyenas running after a kill. The three of us fought our way through and ordered a few shots and cocktails so we wouldn't have to go through this process again for some time. Stocking up was key.

I downed two shots, letting the happy burn glaze my stomach. As the drinks were passed around, people grew louder, more animated, and the dancing became frequent wild. Mistletoe hung sporadically from the ceiling under the dance floor causing people to enjoy themselves even more.

I found a partner and danced away my angry sorrows so to speak. I barely acknowledged the man's name as he spun me around. I would catch glimpses of Edward across the room sipping his drink and staring at me over the rim of his glass. His fawning Tanya was still trying her best to get his attention. I grabbed my dance partner more tightly and pretended to laugh at some joke he never made. Confused, he laughed nervously in return, hoping that would score him brownie points for later. Dance after dance I spun into many pairs of arms and enjoyed the darkening cloud over Edward's head. Tanya looked completely affronted after awhile since he had been ignoring her for at least an hour.

If only I could tango on the dance floor, I would be running my leg up my dance partner and asking him to dip me. I would smile at Edward through a rose's stem between my teeth.

I looked again to Edward's spot where he had been last but the space was now empty. Perhaps he and Tanya had left to enjoy the rest of their night together… I felt even worse just thinking about their long night ahead and how this evening had turned sour between us. I blamed him entirely.

Caught up in switching dance partners, a new pair of hands grabbed me firmly.

"Very mature, Swan," Edward growled into my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. He spun me out with our hands linked together as I looked at him with a new wave of fury. But hell, he was an excellent dancer as always.

"So now you're done sulking and want to join my immature game?" I instigated.

He crushed me against him on my way back from twirling. As I slammed into his hard chest, he looked down at me with his blazing green eyes. They were clouded at the corners from drinking. "If it keeps you from rubbing up against anything on two legs, then so be it," he answered in a gruff voice.

We kept dancing to keep up appearances. There was no way I was going to make a scene on the dance floor in front everyone I worked with. That happened to one of our office assistants, Daniel, two years ago. He got so drunk that he put his arm around everyone including the Mr. Lawrences and slurred, "I love you man" over and over. Later on he was caught peeing into a fake plant right outside the party room. Every year he was made fun of for it.

"I don't have to justify my ways to you. I'll rub up against anyone I choose to."

He snorted a laugh and held me tighter by the waist. "You're going to get yourself into trouble again," he said seriously.

I laughed dryly. "You flirt with me for months and then bring a date and think you have the right to judge who I dance with? That is so rich," I exclaimed with mounting sarcasm.

"If you didn't behave like a careless idiot I wouldn't feel the need to," he said through his teeth.

Even our dancing was a battle. Both of us were too proud to stop and give in, trying to out-dance each other. Determined not to look up at him anymore, I stared to the side of his arm and caught Jasper and Alice sharing a deep kiss while swaying side to side in a safe dance. I thought that was a bit too much public display of affection, but when I looked above them I saw a large sprig of mistletoe hanging.

Suddenly we began to dance off-course as Edward pulled me firmly to the left in our steps, toward the happy couple. I realized he was slowly dragging me toward the mistletoe and the cold smirk he gave me confirmed my suspicions. I pulled back and geared us to where we were dancing before.

Tugging stiffly and pulling firmly, we danced in small circles between other people as he dragged me closer to the mistletoe. I repeatedly yanked us in the opposite direction. He was much stronger than me and it seemed he purposely used the opportunity to press me against him with each pull. He even spun me around a few times to interrupt my withstanding movements and held me in his arms as I tried to keep up with our footwork. My face was getting flushed from the exercise, but Edward's energy was steady and unrelenting in his efforts.

We were almost under the mistletoe now and I saw Edward's smirk spread like he was about to unmask a winning hand of poker. His hand that held mine pressed my fingers together almost painfully and I dug my nails into his shoulder. We slowed our dancing, he pressed me close, and I knew what was to come. I was breathing with rage through my nose while simultaneously biting my lower lip. His green eyes pierced me under his glare, daring me to openly protest. His hot breath blew across my biting lip, ticking my skin. I almost whimpered and curled my toes. I held my breath as Edward leaned closer to my lips.

His mouth parted and hovered above mine. The blood pumped in my ears, drowning out the noise of the room. My brain started to cloud over but I knew the situation continued to bring more questions to mind that I tried to ignore yet couldn't. My eyes blinked hard to alertness, fighting the haze. He felt the need to lecture me on getting into trouble and grinding up against countless dance partners and here he was making his own pass at me. And with his date somewhere in the room?

I ground my heel into the toe of his shoe.

His eyes fluttered opened as he muffled a curse of outrage. My breathing was heavy and my face still flushed, but my eyes were sure and focused. I took advantage of his stumbling distraction and stomped off the dance floor to the bar. Edward wasn't far behind me, trying not to limp on his way over.

I sucked on my gin and tonic and entered a small group of conversation so he wouldn't be able to talk to me. It was the equivalent of hiding behind Charlie's leg as a child while I stuck my tongue out at a bully on the playground.

Edward ordered his drink from the bar while casting angry looks at me over his shoulder. When he tried to inch closer to me, I moved away, keeping the same amount of distance between us. I didn't think he deserved to justify himself after everything he had pulled on me tonight.

No, Edward Cullen would not be getting the last word.

It was getting ridiculous moving around the small circle of talking people while we snarled at each other. Luckily, they were laughing too loud and drinking to really notice us.

I finished my cocktail and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, continuing to scowl at him. He was a tenacious bastard and nothing bothered him more than not being able to state his opinions. I was practically wriggling with delight as the vein running down the center of his forehead became more prominent with his growing annoyance.

The group we were merry-go-rounding dispersed eventually and I clutched at the chance to follow a few people to the bar again. I looked around myself to make sure there were no sprigs of mistletoe conveniently hanging nearby. Edward rudely pushed past a few tipsy drinkers and bumped up against me.

"Running away, you're so good at that," he ground out beside my shoulder.

"You have a date here and then have the nerve to make a pass at me!" I whispered furiously.

He whispered back at me angrily. "I told you, I was working tonight." He caught himself when I slowly turned to look at him with utter disapproval. He looked like he regretted the words instantly.

"And you had ample opportunity to mention what your _job_ actually entailed when we were alone in your office!" My whispers were becoming ragged. This was just like the first time in his office all over again on the day he arrived at Lawrence Associates.

"I didn't even want to come tonight because of it and then you waltz into my office and put your leg on my—"

I shushed him with a hiss and pulled at his sleeve to leave the bar. The last thing I wanted was for people to get the wrong idea about anything. I stalked my way past the crowds and out the side door to the hallway. I was looking for a more private area to rip him into two. I found myself walking in the direction of the restrooms, my heels banging against the marble floor. I heard Edward stomping behind me and I could feel his glare burning the back of my neck.

He caught up with me and grabbed my wrist, tugging me toward the men's bathroom.

_No way I'm voluntarily going to urinal land._

I pushed him a little and then yanked my arm back. I saw a corridor near the water fountains and proceeded to the semi-private area. The noise of the surrounding rooms and lobby were muffled considerably. Satisfied, I launched into my angry tirade.

"You are the complete picture of the male pig, bringing a woman as a date for a job like she's a thing to be bought and traded and you have the nerve to be sore about it like you had nothing to do with the decision. Well don't pedal me your sap story and excuses because—"

"I told you I didn't want to have any part of it. Mr. Lawrence asked me to and I could hardly tell him "No, I've got my eyes set on one of your insane employees." It was just a favor to bring his daughter tonight—"

"Well congratulations on your Christmas bonus. A big fat paycheck and an easy lay!" I shouted into his face. I pushed him aside to stalk off to the ladies bathroom. It was always a haven for women, male-free.

"I just told you it was a God damn favor. No strings attached!" he yelled after me, pursuing me in my steps.

I swung the ladies room door open and Edward barely had time to squeeze through. He shot me a dark look and presumptuously flipped the bolt on the door to lock us in. Now I was really angry that he was invading the female haven and checked to make sure all the stalls were empty in order to spare innocent people the onslaught of wrath I was about to inflict.

"You don't believe a word I say do you?" he continued, angry and accusatory. He gestured to the room with a hand. "Instead of even trying, here you are running again."

I turned to face him. "You think I'm running away just because I don't want to be dominated by you? You are such a fucking egotist."

"And you are such a fucking escapist!"

The jerk and his word lingo. "Stop rhyming!"

His voice dropped to a normal pitch as his eyes pierced me. "Stop lying." And he walked closer to me as I backed up against the wall.

"I don't lie to anybody," I ground out, breathing heavily.

"Only to yourself." His voice was biting and his eyes raked over my face.

"Whatever I thought doesn't matter, I knew you'd show your true self eventually." My voice had quieted, but still had a harsh streak to it. "I'm only surprised it took you this long," I sneered.

He ripped his gaze away from my face and started to pace, looking like he had the urge to punch a hole in the wall. "Damn it Bella, you're an infuriating wench! This is not about me, this is about you. Your head is screwed on backwards that you're not even seeing straight. You're not seeing that I—"

"What I see is that your head is far too big! Why don't you just admit that you were excited and enticed at the prospect of bringing your boss's daughter? Are you tired of my refusals? You need the next fix?" I taunted icily.

He ran a hand through his hair, grabbing the ends in frustration. The strands stuck up in every direction. He stopped pacing and turned to face me, completely backing me against the wall with nowhere to escape.

"You are such a lunatic spewing your self-righteous wacked out code of relationship atheism!" he roared into my face.

"And what would you know about relationships? You're a man who misleads women while dipping his cock between the next pair of legs—"

"And what the hell have you been doing?! Have you ever not skipped out after a one-night stand the moment the sun rises?!"

I had never been so angry in my life. I screamed between my teeth in frustration and raised a hand to slap him.

His head leaned to the side reflexively and he caught my hand in his before it made contact with his cheek. The prevention left a reverberating tingle down my wrist.

His expression was one of initial shock before it darkened. His jaw tightened and flexed and his eyes blazed with his temper. My own eyes widened with surprise as he gripped my hand firmly, enveloping its tiny form in the heat of his and slowly continued its journey to his face. Instead of keeping it positioned into the slap it was meant for, he turned it over and brought it close to his lips. He stared at me from under his furious brows and pressed his lips to the top of my hand for several seconds.

I stared back at him, unable to break from the moment. I was still so angry and upset, but this change in energy left me stunned and breathless. I didn't know what to think.

After another moment I dragged my shaky hand out of his and he followed it like I had beckoned him with it, moving his body even closer to me. He gripped my shoulders with curling fingers and stared down at my biting lip and owl glare. "I've never wanted to force myself onto a woman, but you drive my patience off a cliff," he growled in hushed angry tones. Before I could react, he pressed his lips to mine firmly. The heat of his skin against my own spread like wildfire over my cheeks, down my neck, and straight to my fingertips with a jolt.

I pushed at his chest with renewed anger. He immediately detached himself from me—not because I hurt him, but to obey—yet his chest was still lightly against mine. "Mistletoe, forcing yourself on me, it's sad that you have to resort to those methods," I said in a hoarse voice, gasping.

We both tried to catch our breath in the silence and it almost stifled us as we both struggled for control over the situation. My body already missed his heat.

"I could go back to Tanya right now if I wanted, or any other woman," he said angrily.

"But you won't," I whispered.

He plundered my mouth with urgency. Easy as falling, I gave in and kissed him back hard. As soon as he felt my reciprocation, I was pressed up against the bathroom wall. Our lips moved together, viciously, ravaging our skin. All the times I'd stared at his lips: when he spoke, smirked, wrapped them around the edge of a coffee mug, I'd wanted to kiss and lick them as much as I'd wanted to smack him.

My hands drew up to the sides of his neck and roughly pulled him closer. I felt the muscles of his shoulders and chest beneath his silk shirt pressed against me. One of his hands moved to clasp my jaw to him, the other wrapped around my waist and I could feel every inch of definition to his body.

A tremor of desire ran through me from the pit of my being. His hot wet tongue stroked mine and explored the interior of my mouth. It passed over my teeth and tongue while his lips slid back and forth with mine, slanting against me over and over. It was feverish, desperate, and violent. We explored each other as if we were starving.

One of my hands came up to grip the edge of the paper towel dispenser near my head for leverage as I arched away from the wall and into his body with more pressure. He groaned into my mouth and held me tighter around the waist. The wetness of his tongue, the softness of his lips, and the tight grip of his hands on me had worked me up into frenzy, an uncontrollable need to feel more of him. I heaved my chest into him harder and dove my fingers into his hair, fisting the strands as I moaned softly against his lips.

He wasn't prepared for my sudden enthusiasm and we stumbled around the bathroom like a single person with eight tangled limbs, breathing and moaning and sucking. Suddenly I found myself pressed against the door with Edward trying to get at bare skin with equal fervor. I noticed he liked doing that. He'd pressed me up against the door of his apartment that first night, and now in the bathroom. Maybe he would do it against his office door too...

His heated kisses moved down my neck impatiently, scraping his teeth along my skin. _God, he was so good at this._

Another breathless moan escaped me and I wrapped a leg around his thigh. He rode my dress higher to my hips and pressed his body against me further, yet it still wasn't enough for me. Despite initiating the kiss, he'd let me lead every crazed passionate step of the way, only reacting and reciprocating to my actions. I captured his lips with mine again, diving into the heat and softness of his mouth. My lips enclosed his bottom one and I sucked it slowly like I'd always wanted to. I felt his breath catch and he instantly deepened the kiss.

He groaned softly, the sound coming somewhere deep from his throat—that sound that I loved. His hands wandered down my sides and cupped me.

I wanted him so badly. My heart didn't just want to try and understand him, I physically ached for him. A fleeting image of him bending me over the sink counter made me start grinding into his hips, unrestrained and desperate. Touching and kissing wildly, our sounds of moaning and sighing came more frequently. We kept rubbing against each other in a bruising fashion and panting heavily. We were on the path between relief and frustration.

I heard bits of chatter and a low thump on the door. My eyes flew open, the cloud of lust parting.

A banging sound from someone's fist was heard right near my head from the other side.

I fought the whine rising in my throat as we reluctantly pulled away from each other, completely unnerved by the interruption. I'm sure my face mirrored his. Dissipating anger, unsatisfied needs, flushed, uncontrolled breathing, heavy eyelids... My body sagged against the door for a moment. Edward also leaned against it with his palm beside my head to support his weight. We took a short moment to compose ourselves.

"You should hide in one of the stalls until the coast is clear," I said, catching my breath and standing up. He moved his arm out of the way as I went to the sinks and mirror to inspect myself quickly.

"That's ridiculous, we're all adults—"

"Adults gossip." I gingerly touched my lips. The flesh was bruised and sore, but not bleeding. I reapplied the lip-gloss Alice had given me earlier, smoothed out my dress, and untangled my hair.

When I faced Edward again he was watching me curiously like he wanted to say something. The lust was so evident on his expression I almost thought of ignoring the disturbance outside. He had already fixed his shirt, but not his other problem down below. It looked semi-hard still, resting slightly toward his left leg in his pants. I was sure a bitter joke of mine would fix that problem immediately, but it would be in bad taste right now. His attempts to flatten his hair were also useless. His lips were swollen like mine, especially the bottom one. His cheekbones were faintly flushed and his eyes werea striking green from our intense encounter.

He was even more beautiful.

I desired him more than I'd ever desired anybody in my life. It scared me. In a way I saw that as my weakness. He was reducing me to this unrestrained state. I'd already had him once, and instead of moving on I wanted him more, again. And because I couldn't fully remember that drunken night, it was a strange need that left me feeling beyond mere dissatisfaction.

But he prodded me little by little, bringing up issues I didn't realize were worth arguing about. And he shoved them in my face, demanding his opinions to be true, analyzing the complexities of the heart. I knew he cared for me, but he was arrogant, determined, self-reliant, sarcastic, unrelenting, a fucking beautiful irresistible man that can easily irritate the hell out of me as much as he can make my knees go weak. And on rare occasions he does something sweet and nice, confusing me.

Unaware of my brooding thoughts, he tried again to flatten his hair—and his other problem. I sighed and ran my hands under the water. "Come here," I murmured.

To my surprise he came without a sarcastic comment or smirk and stood next to me, a little closer than necessary. I reached up and ran my wet fingers through his thick strands, carefully sculpting and moving his hair back into place. His eyes were fixed on me the entire time and I avoided looking directly into them, concentrating on my task. When I finished, my hand lingered at his temple longer than I intended it to.

He smiled and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "Now get into the stall," I ordered again.

He chuckled and gave my rear a playful whack. I turned and scowled at him but he was already locking the stall door behind him. "You better hurry up before the felines tear the door to woodchips," he called from within.

I had to agree with him. I unlocked the door with an innocent expression as I was confronted with a small mob of fidgety tipsy woman. I giggled nervously. "My mistake, I think this door locks itself from the inside. Someone should really get that checked out." My tone turned all concerned and accusatory of bad maintenance running the hotel. Before they could throw questions and comments at me like a press conference, I slipped away, leaving Edward to his possible demise or creative strategy of escaping unscathed.

I had to shake this feeling off.

I wasn't sure what I was feeling precisely because my hormones were at war with my better judgment. The one thing I had been sure of was getting out of that restroom. The interruption was a bucket of cold water thrown at me and I hadn't realized how fogged my mind had become. Even now I wanted to rush back to him just so I could feel his hands riding up my leg and his hot kisses on my neck. And his hard body pressed against me…

But I wouldn't.

Without resolving our fight, throwing in sexual mishaps would just complicate the situation further.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize I was bombarding in on a couple necking behind the stairwell to the second floor of the hotel. I had been walking back in the direction of the lobby to find Alice and must have taken a wrong turn.

Rosalie and Emmett were all over each other in the shadows, partially covered by a giant potted plant. Even though I was several yards from them, the heat in my face that had finally dissipated from the bathroom session rose at full force again.

I quickly turned around and went back in the direction I came from. At least I knew Emmett was still alive, but my embarrassment was muddling my thoughts and I tried to think straight as I went in search of the turn I missed.

"Isabella."

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

I stopped in my tracks at the sound of Rosalie's voice not far behind me. I froze in place for a second, unsure how I should confront her. Clearly she had seen me somehow and I cringed at the possibility of getting fired or ruining my complacent relationship with her.

"Bella," she said more gently.

For the first time, I heard her address me by the shortened version of my name that I always preferred. I turned around curiously.

Her dress hung a little crooked and her hair was tangled. But her eyes had no trace of hostility like I was expecting. She finished walking over to me, fixing her smudged lipstick with her fingers.

"I didn't mean to walk in on you both like that, I'm—"

"We weren't exactly hiding it well. Don't apologize."

I nodded, but my face still felt warm and I knew I was standing awkwardly abashed in her presence even though it seemed more fitting for her to be embarrassed for getting caught.

She paused, concentrating on how to form her next words. I waited patiently. "I hope you don't feel like I'm driving a wedge in your friendship between you and Emmett." Her thin arched eyebrows rose slightly in question. Despite her skewed dress she was calm and steady, still maintaining her usual air of authority.

"Not at all. You are...very good for him in fact. It's what he needs," I said, trying to produce a warm smile through my unease.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. Very much…" she replied softly and gave me the tiniest shy, grateful smile.

I nodded again and offered her a true smile so she would know there were no hard feelings between us. Because there weren't. I wanted Emmett to be happy, I just hoped he didn't do anything stupid.

"I know I can trust you not to say anything around the office…?" Her statement came out more like a question at the end and when I looked into her knowing, pleading blue eyes, I suddenly felt like she knew that I had known about her and Emmett for awhile.

"Of course," I said with wide eyes.

"Thank you Is—Bella," she corrected with a faint curl of her lip.

I smiled back a little and turned to leave. I had less on my plate to worry about, but much more to contemplate as I retraced my steps. Rosalie and I were okay, but I had crossed the line with Edward. I was overwhelmed. I really needed a drink to slow the clockwork in my mind.

The humming noise grew louder by the second as I got closer to the lobby. I pulled the door to the party room open with a new spurt of energy, driven with purpose, and made a beeline straight for Alice. Instead of the usual crowds she got caught in, it was just she and Jasper smiling and talking together.

"Alice," I interrupted urgently. She turned to me with a lazy smile. "I think this party is winding down. I think it's time to hit the bars." I smiled at her with a hopeful expression.

She giggled and wasn't entirely inebriated. "I couldn't agree more."

Jasper lent her his arm as they started walking further through the lobby. At the coat check closet, Alice tapped me on the arm. "I'll just make a quick trip to the bathroom before we go."

"No!" I burst out before I could stop myself.

She looked at me with surprise, which quickly turned into suspicion. "Why not?"

"No reason in particular," I answered in a more composed voice. "I want to find a seat at the bar before it gets too late and crowded," I offered lamely, trying to grapple for a better reason.

She stared at me for a moment with her calculating eyes before finally answering, "Okay. Then let's go."

I tried to hide my desperation and thankfully she didn't press me. Jasper helped us put our coats on and we exited the hotel.

* * *

**A/N: If I didn't make you alternate between teeth clenching and smiling hugely, I haven't done my job.**

**I want to briefly touch on a few things without becoming long-winded. Edward is not OCD or anything, he just has his quirks like the rest of us, which were shown more clearly on his hunt for ducky#6. He runs his life with careful planning and strong opinions and he needs to control his environment to ultimately get what he wants. **

**This love/hate relationship is not generic entirely. Sweet, caring moments pop up here and there, i.e. Edward taking Bella to the doctor, Bella fixing Edward's hair in the bathroom. Under the fighting, they still have their 'strange tentative friendship'.**

**Lastly, friendly reminder that this story is Rated M for a reason. I don't want some of you to feel hit in the face with later chapters since we are used to the playfulness and UST. Sex, intimacy, affection, these are all part of adult situations and relationships. I know most of you are lookin' forward to it, pervs. =)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Greetings...**

**Songs for this chapter are: Panic Switch by Silversun Pickups and Karma Payment Plan by Modest Mouse. **

**SO, since we left off....Lawward was stuck in a ladies bathroom stall. I think it's time we let him out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony." – Robert Benchley_

"_There is no calamity greater than lavish desires._

_There is no greater guilt than discontentment._

_And there is no greater disaster than greed" – Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher. _

**Chapter Fourteen**

I admit I was walking rather briskly and it was not entirely due to the chilly air. Jasper could've easily kept up with me, but he continued to wait for Alice so they both lagged a few steps behind with confused, quiet glances. I pretended to be cold and rubbed my arms for the added warmth. The gesture was actually to reassure myself. I didn't feel completely okay with the way Edward and I parted.

I had panicked. Simple as that.

Women had been about to bombard the bathroom, I could hardly have him casually walk out the door with myself right behind him. Neither of us would live it down at the office. I suppose we could have gotten some slack since it's that holiday time of year, but I didn't want everyone knowing. It was private. People whispering and gossiping would add too much pressure to whatever was between us. If things didn't work out, I would have to look for another job. These were legitimate concerns of mine.

As I pulled the door to the bar open, the warm air rushed against the three of us in welcome. We snagged a table to peel our coats off and order drinks. After combing the room twice, I spotted Emmett sitting at the bar. He was off to the side and for once, not blatantly hitting on a fresh young thing.

"I'll be right back," I told Alice and Jasper over the music and chatter.

They nodded and Alice raised her eyebrow at me with one of those I-know-you've-been-up-to-something looks.

"Hey stranger," I greeted Emmett and took the stool next to him.

"Well look who decides to show up." Emmett grinned at me and took a deep swig of his beer.

I ordered my gin and tonic from the bartender. "I should say the same to you," I challenged with narrowed eyes.

Emmett turned sheepish and took another long gulp. He wasn't going to get off that easily so I waited for him to finish his long drawn out beer chugging. He caught my eye and set his bottle down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"And where's the lovely lady tonight?" I hedged.

"So you saw that earlier huh?"

I nodded slightly, feeling my cheeks grow warm and gladly accepted my drink from the bartender as an excuse to turn my face away. I didn't know why I felt embarrassed, we used to talk about our flings and wild nights frequently.

Emmett spoke, pretending not to notice my sudden discomfort. "Rose had to stay behind and make sure the company tab was closed and everything squared away." He glanced at the door, looking a bit forlorn by her absence.

I rolled my eyes. "Why didn't you join the party more?"

He shrugged. "I was up for it and Rose agreed, but I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable about it."

My brows furrowed at that. "Why? I can understand around the office, but this was a huge party."

Emmett smiled at me like I was a mentally challenged child. "We've just barely come up for air and I haven't exactly introduced myself to her father yet and with the party—"

"She doesn't want to be seen with you in public?"

"That's not it."

"One of your past lovers is suing you for abandonment and Mr. Lawrence is the lawyer?!"

"Just chill! Don't get me started on that imagination of yours. You're not going to analyze anything this time." He breathed out in exasperation and smiled at me before swigging the last of his beer. I watched him, silently. "Haven't you ever wanted to keep something a secret, even though you're not ashamed? Just because?"

Yeah, I did. I certainly wasn't ashamed of my chemistry with Edward, but I wasn't about to jeopardize our working environment with public displays of…anything. "Well if we're talking about trying to keep things private, you and Rose haven't exactly been in hiding."

"Not my fault you keep catching us." He smirked and ordered another beer.

I snorted into my drink before sipping.

Emmett sighed heavily again and rubbed the back of his head. "Nah, you're right."

"I know I'm right." I smiled cheekily though I didn't feel any satisfaction.

It was his turn to snort. "Arrogant lawyer," he muttered. "I've been a real ass lately haven't I?" He smiled grimly and began peeling the label off his beer bottle just for something to do.

I nodded, feeling morose by the serious tone our conversation was taking.

He turned to me, looking like a sad dog. "I'm really sorry, Bells."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not fine." His hand that rested next to his beer curled into a fist. "You've always been a really strong person and I guess I just got used to that. But I know you've been having a hard time lately and I've been MIA a lot. That night with James -- who by the way hasn't shown his face at the gym since…" Emmett cracked his knuckles for good measure. "And then the day you attacked me in Rose's office, we haven't really hung out until now. It's been a crazy month of December."

I really didn't know what to say at first. I admitted to myself that I had also been busy by a certain someone. But I felt bad that Emmett had felt guilty and laid my hand on his fist. "Em, thank you. It's nice to have you back. I've missed you but I'm okay. I guess I've been preoccupied too." His fist relaxed under my hand and I retracted it back to my cocktail.

"Preoccupied?"

"Err…yeah, you know work stuff. Mr. Cullen's been giving me lots of projects at the office," I answered mildly.

"Right, preoccupied," he repeated with a leering smile. "You mind telling me what happened between you two that night at the museum?"

I shifted in my seat. That night had been a source of pain and discomfort for me.

"I know I know, you and me just leave things alone when we don't want to tell. But I know something is up." His wiggling eyebrows clashed with his serious expression.

I tried not to laugh at that. "What do you mean?"

"Well I almost gave him a punch or two for letting you walk home by yourself and with James still roaming the streets..."

"Oh my gosh, Emmett—"

"I didn't. I said _almost_."

"What did he say?" I was dying to know what Edward might have said to Emmett about me.

He shrugged unnaturally. "Just that you were upset and wanted to be by yourself. He said he tried following you but you ran away. Of course, I didn't believe him until Alice convinced him to stop wandering and go home."

That certainly coincided with what Alice had relayed to me. He continued with, "Besides, it's all in what he didn't say."

"What do you mean?"

"By the way he was acting, I would say the guy has a big thing for you…"

I choked on my drink and began coughing, my face flaming.

Emmett ignored my sputters, looking real thoughtful for a moment. He's never been a 'dumb as a rock' football player or a skeezy frat boy. He's always known what he is - a man that loves to be with women. He doesn't treat them badly other than skip out on them and he makes no pretenses about it either. But I get nervous when Emmett starts to seriously ponder things.

"You two were acting very cozy that night we went to Jupiter," he recalled, pointing his sausage finger at me. "Strange, but cozy." He raised one of his thick eyebrows at me in question. "What's been going on between you two?"

Great. All of a sudden Emmett decides to gives a shit and put some pieces together. "Since when did you become detective?" I asked, putting my glass down.

"Please, I know how to read people."

"You know how to read flirtatious women," I countered with a laugh.

"My point exactly."

"It was not flirting. We've never really gotten along."

"Well if you want him off your case - no pun intended - just bag him." He rolled his eyes at my confused expression. "Ya know, fuck him. Clean his pipes out. He'll get what he's been missing and move on."

"That won't work," I said confidently and then immediately regretted it.

"Why not? It worked for me. Works for most guys."

"It just won't."

He hunched forward to look at me more closely. "There's something else you're not telling me Miss Bells."

I was just never going to get out of this. "Okay Emmett, you win," I said in a sing-song tone. "Remember that night you made a girl purr like a kitten?" He nodded with a foolish grin. "That night…I had been with Edward. We met at Monty's. But I didn't know he'd be working with me at the time."

Shock was written across Emmett's face and he just stopped everything he was doing. I was frozen too, waiting impatiently, unsure what he was thinking now.

He suddenly boomed a roaring laugh, making my hair fly around my face wildly. He slammed his fist on the bar causing our drinks to shake on the table's surface. He laughed past the ability to breathe, ending on a rich throaty chuckle.

I looked around, wondering if people nearby were staring at us.

"Jeez Bella," he gasped, red-faced and eyes bulging. "That's so fucking hilarious. I have a girl for a night and I never want to see her again but you've had to work with him everyday." He laughed wickedly again, pounding his own chest.

"Yeah, it's been candy in the sky," I deadpanned humorlessly.

Emmett gulped down his beer through more chuckles. I took a large sip of my gin and tonic for good measure. "And now he likes you. What a nightmare."

"You're really not helping, Emmett." I was getting annoyed with him now.

"You want me to get Rose to fire him?" he asked eagerly with an amused glint in his eyes, testing me.

"Stop using your girlfriend like that. And no, that's not necessary."

"Are you sure?"

I sighed. "Given your new track record on secrecy, I'd appreciate you not sharing any of this with my boss," I requested through my teeth. With anything work-related, I had to refer to Rose as 'my boss' rather than 'his girlfriend'.

He conceded by casually shrugging it off.

I resumed drinking, trying to salvage my dignity while Emmett continued to snicker at the whole business.

"He's not all that terrible. He brings me coffee." I tried playing it off with humor. I didn't want Emmett to go all Papa Bear on me.

"I guess that redeems him. But if he starts groping…" The betraying heat trickled up my cheeks. "Kidding Bella." He barked a laugh with a shake of his head and guzzled his beer.

His phone buzzed loudly in his pocket and we both looked down at it.

He answered it with a, "Hey Babe," and began talking in lower tones. I turned away politely and sipped my drink. After a minute he snapped the phone shut and forced it back into the pocket of his jeans.

"Well, looks like my lovely lady is finally free." His smile turned down at the corners. "I hope you don't think I'm being an ass, leaving you here," he said as he started to get up and put on his coat.

I rolled my eyes. "If I cared at all about being ditched we would never have lasted as friends. Besides, you're always an ass. At least it's not to the entire female population anymore."

He laughed and put his paw around me, squeezing my shoulders in a hug. "Love ya Bells, you've always been awesome." He chugged down the last of his beer. "Dinner after New Years?"

"You bet," I agreed. "Now go to your lady."

"And quite a lady she is. She's a tiger in the bed—"

"I don't want to know," I interrupted curtly.

He laughed again and left the bar.

I sighed and stared at the door for a few moments. There goes Emmett on his happy way. The door swung several times till it was about to close completely, but was flung open at the last second by the devil himself with bronze hair.

My initial reaction was to duck my head out of sight but I caught myself, growing more annoyed from that natural impulse. Bella Swan does not shy away from anyone, especially a man. Plus, we still needed to work things out. At this point it wasn't simply avoiding an encounter at the grocery story, we had…well, we had done some kissing.

I ordered a second drink and caught his eye.

My brain started to scramble up, I didn't know what or which to say first. We had said some pretty horrible things to each other in the heat of the moment. Somehow that had ended with an incredible sexually physical situation. Would we be going back to our dry banter or continue…well, kissing? My hands were already starting to fidget with unease and excitement. I warred internally with securing my job, protecting my heart, and being inexplicably drawn to him.

Just seeing his mouth reminded me of how he had kissed my hand and ravaged my lips. Fuck, I already felt like a sinking ship as he started closing the distance between us.

I did a head to toe inspection of him as he walked over. He looked very presentable with his hair in that state of carefully crafted messy, his shirt smooth and buttoned nicely under his coat, no problem in the pants anymore, and…I choked back a laugh into my new gin and tonic.

He had a scrap of toilet paper on his shoe.

He took Emmett's seat, pulled his coat off, and was about to greet me when I stomped on his toe.

"Ow!"

"Damn it I missed," I muttered. "Hold still."

"What? No!" He stood, but was blocked in between his stool and myself. "Bella, you're crazy. Would you stop doing that?!"

I stood too and placed my hands on his shoulders to stop him from wiggling away. He looked confused again as I brought my face close to his. "You have toilet paper on your shoe."

"Oh." His jaw tightened and his ears pinked with embarrassment at his belated realization.

Once he held still, I firmly planted my toe onto the paper and ripped it away from his shoe.

"Thanks," he said quietly, his deep voice sounding right above my head.

As soon as I felt his hands slide up my arms in a gentle light touch, I sat back down on my stool. It made my body a shiver and it wasn't at all unpleasant.

He copied me, resuming his seat and ordered a gin and tonic too. It reminded me of the first time we'd spoken at Monty's. I watched his throat muscles and Adam's apple move up and down as he drank from his glass. He never sipped from the straw.

I squirmed a little in my seat and tried to concentrate on my own drink.

"So, about earlier in the restroom…" he began without beating around the bush.

"Yes, how did you manage to escape?"

"Actually I was referring to before that." He leaned closer to me. "You've been very bad tonight Ms. Swan," he said in a low voice and brushed his hand along the top of my leg.

"Stop it," I hissed. I could already feel heat between my legs. What was this man doing to me?

"You were pretty eager earlier, even _you_ are not that good of a liar." His fingers trailed further up my thigh.

I swallowed loudly. "Or you're easily fooled."

His eyes flew to my face. "Not likely."

I scowled but didn't inch away anymore. "I would throw my gin at you if I didn't want to drink it so badly."

"Do you want to know why you're angry?"

I didn't answer him. He'd only been here for five minutes and was already getting me worked up. I was having a difficult time forming words with his hand trailing up my leg.

"I'll tell you why," he continued quietly in his silken voice. "You're not mad that I'm touching you, you're mad that you keep responding to me."

I blew out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and I shut my eyes for a moment, trying to regain my composure. When I felt his hand stop moving, I opened my eyes to focus on him. "And what about you? Nothing I do makes you mad."

His hand fell away. "Not true, I get angry enough. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy it." He smirked.

I was a little unnerved. I had been truly furious before and I thought he had been too. To him, my anger meant I was enjoying his attentions. How messed up was that? I wasn't sure what fazed him anymore. No matter what I did, he was enjoying himself. I began to overanalyze his real motives for bringing Tanya. Had he done it to get another rise out of me? That didn't seem to fit well with his behavior in his office earlier.

"Tell me, where is Tanya?" I asked, genuinely curious.

Edward took another deep swill from his glass. "I said goodnight to her."

"That's all? She didn't put up a fuss? Lure you back to her place?" I admit I was fishing for more information.

He turned to me in annoyance. "Yes, she found me in the bathroom, joined me in my stall, and we had a quick bunny fuck before I came here. I'm going to have my way with you next and then meet up with her later for round two. Is that what you expected?"

I peered at him in surprise. I'd seen sarcasm undoubtedly, arrogance, frustration, but never had I seen him show such weary bitterness before.

"I didn't add her to my Christmas bonus," he continued with faint amusement. "I found her in the lobby and yes, she offered. I politely refused and apologized for disappearing on her. She was disappointed of course, but we parted our separate ways to which she promptly broke the heel of her shoe and fell into another man's arms."

"I guess everybody wins," I commented mildly.

"Yes," he agreed as the corner of his mouth twitched. "I only hope she doesn't complain of my rude behavior to Mr. Lawrence." He gulped down the last of his drink.

It seemed that Edward was finished arguing for the night and my fury had also dissipated from earlier. Our fight had definitely been ridiculously out of control. It had escalated from Tanya to criticizing each other's character. Were we so different?

"You're drinking awfully fast tonight," I observed, watching his neck muscles gloriously contract as he swallowed.

"Too late to get it out of my system now," he sighed, quirking his brow at me.

I suddenly thought about what Emmett had said.

"_Ya know, fuck him. Clean his pipes out. He'll know what he's been missing and move on."_

And just like that, the light bulb in my head turned on. I had gone down the wrong path, using James to distract myself from Edward. What I needed to do was sleep with Edward again, and get him out of _my_ system. I was sure a lot of the sexual tension came from not remembering our one-night stand very well. If we re-created it—with myself being much less inebriated—I could try to move on. I could play it off as a _second_ one-night stand, if there was such a thing. The Achilles heel of this plan was the surmounting fact that my attraction grew for him everyday. Would I be able to stop myself after this? I also knew that for this to have a chance at working I had to get him drunk, otherwise he would put the pressures of a relationship on me. I'd never been in this predicament before so I had to tread carefully.

"I'll get the next round of drinks," I cut in before Edward could wave for the bartender. I slapped my money down, hollered at the bar and ordered more gin and tonics. I also ordered an extra shot for Edward.

He raised his eyebrows at me.

"What? I can be nice." I pretended to pout.

"What's the occasion?" he asked suspiciously.

"I don't need an occasion to be nice. But it is that holiday time of year too," I answered innocently like it was obvious.

He still wasn't entirely convinced but accepted his fresh glass.

"You did abandon me in the restroom..." he reminded.

"Well, I could hardly let you march out behind me in front of all those women," I countered.

"I now know the ladies room should be completely off limits to men. I've heard things in there I never want to hear again. Women are extremely vicious when they gossip," he pronounced with a look of disgust.

"Well I warned you didn't I?"

"You did."

I raised my drink to his in a toast. "Consider it made up." I clanked his glass with mine and drank eagerly.

He didn't drink as readily as me but more slowly, watching me from above the rim. I knew that look, he was trying to read me. I gave him a friendly smile in return. I wasn't going to let him put me up on his platform for further study.

So we drank. We bickered here and there too.

I kept ordering Edward gin and tonics and surprisingly, he went along with it. Perhaps he thought he would be able to figure it all out if he played along. Eventually he picked up my glass and shook it side to side. "You're letting your ice melt."

I giggled nervously and sipped my watered down beverage through the straw. I was currently three drinks behind Edward and tried to keep it that way. I was getting worried, though. He didn't look that intoxicated after six and my cash was dwindling.

He stood suddenly, and to my delight, swayed on his feet. I also stood and placed my hands on his arms to steady him. He leaned into me and smiled. "Thank you, Bella," he said softly into my ear.

Having a few drinks since the Christmas party, I couldn't help myself. I rubbed my hands up his shoulders playfully. "Where are you going?"

"The restroom." He leaned down and nipped my ear between his lips. I gasped and shivered against him. He chuckled quietly and said, "Not the ladies room." His pelvis slid along mine as he maneuvered himself out between the stools.

My knees felt weak so I sat down and thought of putting my perspired glass to my cheek to try and cool down.

"Well hello there," an early bird chirped.

"Hi Alice," I replied as she took Edward's seat. I did a double-take at her. "Alice?! What are you still doing here?" My eyes darted around for Jasper.

"Watching you two of course. I only wish I'd brought popcorn."

I groaned. "And what is your review on the show?"

"Two thumbs up. I'm wondering why you haven't taken him home yet," she admonished. "Don't you want a riveting performance?"

"I'm working on it," I said tiredly. I was in fact, exhausted.

"Really?" Alice asked with genuine surprise on her pretty face.

"Does that surprise you?"

"It shouldn't. Did anything happen with you two earlier?" She eyed me with a grin.

"Maybe."

"Let me guess, Mr. Cullen in the ladies room with a wrench."

"If by 'wrench' you mean me, then yes."

"The toilet paper on his shoe was some hard evidence. You're terrible at covering your tracks."

"Apparently," I sighed. "Thanks for going along with it anyway."

"How was it?" She smiled wide like a Cheshire cat, exposing all of her little chicklet-shaped teeth.

I looked down at my empty glass trying to think how to phrase and evade.

"My my, Bella Swan, look at you blushing becomingly."

"I never used to blush," I grumbled and put the cold glass to my cheek.

"I've noticed. So tell," she demanded excitedly.

I put the glass down but continued to stare at it. "We…might have done some kissing."

Alice pumped her fist like my personal cheerleader. "Oh I bet it was good. Well I can see that it was," she said, observing me more thoroughly. "You poor damsel, getting all hot and bothered since he came into the picture."

I made no comment. I was pretty sure she was tipsy enough for the both of us.

Startling us, Edward loomed up behind me with Jasper. "Hey Alice."

"Hi Edward," she greeted while casting glances between the two of us.

"I think it's time we left these two and headed home. What do ya say?" Jasper directed at his girlfriend with another meaningful look.

_Thanks for being obvious guys._

Alice hopped off the stool and gave me a goodbye hug. They grabbed their coats and hurried out the door with idiotic smiles and more meaningful looks.

Edward turned to me with his lips curling at the corners. "Shall we follow their example?"

Though he swayed a little, he was still much too coherent. I ran my hand up the side of his leg, enjoying the feel of his muscle beneath his charcoal-colored slacks. "One more drink?"

His smile broadened and he conceded by gracefully falling back onto his stool. "One more."

Of course one more became two more and two more became three more.

I was still three drinks behind him but with the amount of cocktails we ordered, it didn't matter anymore. We were both intoxicated by alcohol and with each other. I was still trying my best to stay afloat but we kept giggling and snickering at anything and everything. Our interactions had also become more playful throughout the night. It started out with casual knee bumping as we inched closer together on our stools. Now our legs were woven, his knee between mine. I vaguely noticed myself touching his arm here and there while enjoying his fingers brushing circles on my leg.

This was it, I was going to take him home.

I didn't even want to think about how much I'd spent just to get to this point and hurriedly paid off the last of our bill. With our legs still laced together, I tried standing up by leaning a hand on the bar to steady myself.

In one swift movement Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and brought us both upright as he stood. He squeezed the breath out of me, pressing me to him with our legs still partially tangled. His arms were an unwavering vice, my limbs dangled and fought for surface in a very undignified fashion. And then I felt something grow hard against my hip.

I let out a squeak and he laughed quietly at my ear. A shiver ran up my spine as I breathed excitedly. His wonderful hair tickled my cheek as he placed a burning kiss on my neck just below the corner of my jaw. Goosebumps instantly spread along my skin, causing my nipples to perk up against his chest.

"I think it's time to go now," I forced out.

His heated lips dragged to the spot behind my ear and he kissed again. My head started to roll back as my body went limp in his arms.

"Edward…I…"

He hummed questioningly from my neck.

"I can't breathe," I said in a strangled voice.

He loosened his grip, letting my body slide down the length of him till my feet came into contact with the floor again. He wasn't smirking like I had been expecting him to. His lids were heavy and his face was drawn serious with parted lips. He stared at me like he was caught in a spell of some sort. I smiled nervously, unsure of what he was thinking or if he was thinking at all. To my relief his mood broke when he smiled back.

Though I wasn't completely coherent, I knew Edward was quite drunk. We fumbled with our coats and clumsily stepped away from our stools to make our way outside.

The air was chilly, bringing with it a new wave of excitement. It burst our quiet giggling bubble of drinking and touching. Edward put his arm around me lazily as we walked in a zigzagging fashion down the street. I leaned into him, grateful for the warmth.

"Cold?" he spoke into my shoulder. I nodded and bundled closer, causing us to trip over each other. "You need to get your blood moving." Though he spoke slowly, slurring his consonants, his tone was thick with sexual implications.

I breathed a thrill of excitement, my breath fogging the wintry air." Like this?" I teased, breaking away from his hold and started skipping down the sidewalk.

He skipped along side me with a tipsy smirk. "Sure."

As we laughed and skipped, he closed the gap between us and snaked an arm around me again. Our legs moved at the same galloping rhythm for a while before I noticed Edward's hand moving up my side.

When I turned to look at him, his eyes were dark and heavy, his lips spread in a small smile. He caught my glance and grabbed me, pulling us around the side of a building.

"I can think of other ways to get your blood moving," he mumbled, cradling me in his arms against the brick wall.

With the heat of his body pressed to mine and speaking to me in his husky voice, he was irresistible. He always was. We were still riled up from earlier and the alcohol freed our previous restraints. We had gotten a taste of something really good in the ladies room and it was clear neither of us were ready to let go. He had been correct. I couldn't help the way my body responded to him. I knew my mind was undisciplined at the moment as my body gave in to him willingly and without hesitation.

My fingers ran through his hair starting at the nape of his neck, trailing up the sides of his head, enjoying the feel of the thick, soft strands. I pulled him to me and we kissed soft and deep. I moaned as our lips angled for a deeper kiss, fervently moving against each other. The burning heat and softness of his mouth overwhelmed me.

I curled my fingers in his hair and Edward breathed in sharply. As his mouth opened I slid my tongue in and slowly brushed it along his. He tasted of gin and limes and a faint flavor of peppermint from earlier. He groaned from deep within his throat as our kiss grew slow and heavy.

We heard a large group of people coming down the street, loud, laughing, and drunk. We were startled out of our make-out session by their ruckus.

Edward grinned crookedly and put a finger to my lips to keep me quiet. Meanwhile, his other hand began clumsily unzipping my coat. He chuckled at my surprised face before slipping a hand inside, groping and rubbing along the side of my dress. What a bastard.

Trying to keep us quiet and arousing me at the same time just wasn't fair. I was always up for his challenges and in a more coherent mindset to win. I pulled his finger that rested on my lips into my mouth and sucked. His glazed eyes became mesmerized by the action so I swirled my tongue around his finger. He whined softly with pleasure and swayed closer with his other hand gliding up to my satin covered breast. My hands roamed over his chest and settled on his waistband to bring him even closer.

The crowd stumbled near us in a rush with their chatter and noise. We were hidden behind the wall of the building but that didn't mean they wouldn't be able to hear us when they got close enough. It seemed Edward had come to the same conclusion. Just as they were passing he squeezed my breast while my hand flew to his hard bulge and rubbed down on it.

I don't know what had gotten into us but we both moaned a long heavy sigh. The crowd quieted after they passed us and then roared in laughter.

Edward's finger slipped out of my mouth and he cradled my cheek in his palm.

"Does this get your blood flowing too?" I asked in a ragged whisper and an idiotic smile.

His forehead fell to mine. "You're going to pay for that Ms. Swan," he slurred, his breath blowing across my lips.

I laughed and released him. "You're going to have to catch me first," I said excitedly and moved away from him again.

I giggled more as I skipped away, feeling the cold air rush on my face. The alcohol and hormones left me in a dizzying and lustful state. _Come on Edward, follow me to my apartment!_

He jogged after me awkwardly, trying to flatten his stiffy with a hand.

I zipped my coat up to my neck as I continued galloping down the sidewalk. "Come on Mr. Cullen! Don't you want a Merry Christmas?!" I called over my shoulder playfully as I crossed the empty street.

I looked back when I heard his jogging footsteps. He was catching up to me so my initial reaction was to outrun him. The faster we got to my apartment, the sooner we could continue this. He called after me and I screamed and ran faster which was an amazing feat in heels.

Suddenly, I felt a hand snake around my waist. "Gotcha," he said in a low voice and chuckled into my ear from behind.

I shrieked as he turned me into his arms. His eyes were barely opened and he grinned at me goofily. "You know what I love about you? You're silly."

"You know what I love about you?" I giggled, leaning into him.

He smirked lazily. "What?"

"Your dancing." We both snorted into our laughter.

He took both my hands in his and laced them tightly. "Then dance with me!" He spun us in a circle with our arms spread out, using our pulled weight for leverage. All the while we laughed hysterically.

Flakes of snow fell from the sky. I could see past Edward's head that snow peppered the ground like it had been falling for at least a half-hour. I refocused on Edward, who was still laughing and smiling. I'd never seen his face this carefree before. The snowflakes landed in his hair and he looked so glazed and happy, I didn't have the heart to stop spinning. Then he started glowing with this blinding light like a beautiful archangel. I gasped through my laughter.

"You're glowing!" he yelled to me.

"No you're glowing!" I yelled back, confused and happy.

"Excuse me," a deep voice cut in beside us.

As Edward and I went round and round I saw a new face popping up in my line of vision. I slowed to a stop, catching my breath and Edward leaned into my shoulder with his fit of chuckles.

I was not in fact seeing Edward glow. Behind him was a police car parked, the headlights shining in our direction. The red lights atop the vehicle were also blinking and blaring at us.

"They need to turn up the music," Edward mumbled as he grabbed me by the arms and waist. He started grinding into me and dancing to the lights thinking we'd hit another club.

The cop cleared his throat. "Uh Marty, a little help here." To further my mortification, another policeman opened the passenger door and stepped out of the vehicle to approach us.

I was slowly coming off my happy high but I still couldn't think straight. I tried disentangling myself from Edward who was becoming increasingly touchy in front of Officer No Name and his partner Marty.

"This is a public disturbance. You're loud, holding up traffic, not to mention a car could hit you. You mind telling me what you two are doing in the middle of the street?" Officer No Name asked, shining a flashlight in our faces.

"Just…we…I…"

"I'm going to get a Merry Christmas!" Edward cut in and gave my ass a squeeze.

I couldn't help laughing through my embarrassment.

"Let's get out of here, they won't play music," Edward mumbled again into my neck and licked, trailing his wet tongue up to my ear.

I caught the disapproving eye of the officers, who had come much closer to us.

"They don't even know where they are. Pick 'em up," he ordered gruffly.

Marty nodded and they both unhooked Edward and I from each other. I felt very annoyed with the universe. All I'd been trying to do tonight was have drunken sex for all the wrong reasons. Officer No Name put his large, hairy, and meaty hands on my shoulders in restraint. I was subject to caprices but very tipsy so my attempts to shrug him off were feeble as he clicked a pair of handcuffs on me.

"Hey there Mr. Officer," I greeted with a coy smile through my heavy eyelids. "Isn't this all a little unnecessary?"

"It's Officer Stevenson to you. And no need to try any of that on me," he reprimanded.

Edward did not resist arrest but merely smiled in a bewildered state while he tried not to pass out on his feet. We were ushered to their vehicle with our rights read and our heads protected as we were forced in backwards.

The officers resumed their front seats and drove leisurely back to their precinct. Other then the front radio going off in the background, it was silent and uncomfortable. I leaned my head back against the seat, trying to shake off the alcohol clouding my brain. Noises of Edward fidgeting caught my slowed attention span.

He slouched against the seat with a tired grin and kept clawing at his back pocket. "Mercer and 5th please," he said, completely befuddled.

"Edward, this isn't a taxi," I muttered in annoyance.

Marty guffawed from the passenger seat.

As the car made a sharp turn, Edward fell against me and started whispering unintelligible words into my shoulder. I tried pushing him off but it was impossible with my hands behind my back. Officer Stevenson glared at us every few moments in the rear view mirror, probably making sure we weren't up to any shenanigans. I peered down at Edward resting on me. His eyes were closed and his lips still moved in silent words that I couldn't understand. I sighed. I didn't have the heart to move away from him and rested my head atop his wild strands.

Upon arrival, we were ushered out of the police car. Officer Stevenson was stronger and burly so he carried Edward's passed out form inside, asking him to "pick up yer feet". Marty was quiet and polite, giving me apologetic prods into the jail cell.

Once I saw those bars lock us in, a new wave of mortification washed over me that no amount of handcuff releasing could assuage. "This is outrageous," I protested to Officer Stevenson.

"A public disturbance of noise and misbehavior is punishable. You two may have been harmless in yer intentions but the action is not exempted."

"Why can't you just drive us home with a warning instead?" I asked indignantly.

He smiled grimly at me from the other side. "Miss Swan, judgin' from yer records yer clean and yer job evokes a commendable service to the people and state, but I can't make exceptions under the law. Somethin' you should understand."

"Fine. But I get my phone call."

He sighed and crossed his hairy arms over his chest. "You sure do. I'd suggest waitin' till morning when everyone's awake or you'll waste it." As I was about to argue, his voice rose with angry impatience. "I'm not going to penalize you with a fine, consider that yer warning. Jus' cool off and sober up for the night. You'll get yer phone call."

He marched away, shaking his head. Now that he'd yelled at me and I was in this stupid predicament, tears threatened to spill. _Officer Stupidson._ I huffed and wiped a tear that escaped down my cheek. Thank God Chief Swan couldn't see me now. I could handle the humiliation but not the disappointment Charlie would feel if he knew.

_Just breathe. It'll be okay._

I realized I'd completely forgotten about Edward. I turned around to see him lying on his back, passed out on the cot. His face was solemn and peaceful looking and he snored softly. Despite his uselessness, I was greatly comforted by his presence.

I tiptoed around the toilet seat in the cell and stumbled onto the cot. With a sad and desperate need, I lay down and kicked my heels off to curl up into Edward's side. I used his warmth for comfort and pulled his limp arm to wrap around me. With a tight throat I fought back more tears and succumbed to a dizzying sleep.

~/~/~/~

My cheek was stuck to Edward's shoulder and I fought the urge to move away from his warm body as the stiffness assaulted my limbs from an uncomfortable sleep. I lifted my heavy eyelids when I heard a pleasant whistling sound and rolled over. The cheap metal springs dug into my sides, adding pain to the stiffness. I sat up slowly and looked for the source.

I was struck dumb by the policeman sitting at his desk with his feet up, whistling behind his morning newspaper. And then it all hit me.

I cradled my head in my hands.

We weren't rowdy teenagers, escapees from an AA meeting, and there hadn't been a bachelor party.

_What the hell had gotten into us last night?_

Drinking, skipping, kissing, running, and dancing. In general, behaving ridiculous.

It was time for my damn phone call now.

I stood to regain what little dignity I had left and was prepared to march over to Officer Stupidson. I felt sick being in a room where Lawrence Associates sent the city criminals. I didn't get more than two steps before falling like a cripple on the cold cement floor, going down with a yelp. My stupid foot was still asleep and I winced at that prickly needles feeling as the extremity regained its flow of blood.

He put the morning paper aside to look at me as I growled with exasperation while wiggling my toes back to life.

It was not Stevenson. He stood up with a cheerful grin, his hair a sandy color and a large walrus mustache drooped over his lip. His tag read "Owen Murray" and the fifty-something year old officer observed me with amusement.

"Mornin'"

I regained my balance, slipped on my heels, and limped over to the bars. "Good Morning, I need my phone call. What time is it?" I asked with my hands on my hips, fighting a headache. I heard Edward stir behind me with tired grumbles.

"'Bout seven-thirty. I'll show you to the pay phone." He unlocked the cell and chaperoned me to the phone.

I dialed Alice's number with heavy butterflies in my stomach. I had no idea how to explain.

"_Mmm…Hello?" _she answered groggily.

"Alice, Hi," I started carefully.

"_Bella? What the heck, it's too early to function,"_ she said irritably.

"I know, I'm sorry. I need a favor…" I went on hesitantly. I heard her sitting up in bed, the blankets rustling in the background.

"_What kind of favor? Are you okay?"_ she asked, more concerned and alert.

"Er…the best friend kind of favor. The bail me out of jail kind of favor."

"_Okay, what is it?"_

"No Alice, that's the favor. I'm at the police station with Edward. Can you come bail us out?" I clenched my teeth and winced, knowing what was to come.

"_OH MY GOD YOU'RE IN JAIL?!"_ Her voice went shrill with disbelief.

I angled the phone away from my ear. I heard Jasper talking to her in the background now.

"It's not what you think!" I argued back about four inches from the receiver. To be honest I didn't know what Alice was thinking but I was sure her imagination conjured up anything worse than what had actually happened. The chatter stopped abruptly as the phone went dead. "Hello? Hello? Alice?" Nothing. I hung up with a mixture of relief and uneasy forebodings. Alice would never let me live this down.

Officer Murray accompanied me back to the cell and I went silently without complaint. Edward was still sleeping on the cot like a babe. I approached his form precariously debating on whether to wake him.

I looked at his sleeping face, tired and calm. His clothes were crumpled like mine but his hair was feathered out and mussed. His lips parted slightly as he inhaled and exhaled and signs of stubble lined his jaw. My fingers curled in my lap, aching to touch him.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I continued to gaze at him. The amused eyes, smirking mouth, and sarcastic words were gone. Seeing him like this, unknowingly vulnerable to me in his sleep brought on a strong wave of remorse.

I felt exceedingly disappointed in myself for how things turned out and since both of us had wanted another night together, I felt like I disappointed him too. I didn't like that at all.

I suddenly realized that there was a part of me that sought approval from Edward. If I truly didn't care, I would never have felt guilty about any of our mishaps. Yes, we teased and pranked, but beyond the heated arguments, sometimes we bickered companionably. No matter how many times he'd bothered me, I couldn't imagine not seeing him in the picture.

And yet, what if we had actually woken up together without the arrest? What then? _Nice having sex with you, see ya at lunch?_ But we didn't have sex last night and the only thing I gave him was a terrible hangover.

I was afraid that whenever he did wake up and realize what happened last night, he'd feel misled and disappointed in me. His words from earlier surfaced in my mind.

"_You don't believe a word I say do you? Instead of even trying, here you are running again."_

My disastrous methods had only proved his point. I hadn't wanted to face his expectations and hid behind my 'brilliant plan' instead, always trying to get around the one issue that made us clash every time. And here we were, in a grimy jail cell.

Despite the reactions he brought forth from me, I was a responsible person and I cared about him. I wanted to apologize to him privately, in my own way, before he woke and I would have to answer to his calculating eyes.

I leaned closer to his face, staring at him intently, soaking up details. I hadn't realized how long his lashes were. They started reddish auburn at the roots which, turned to a deep brown fanning out at the tips. He was a beautiful man; there was no denying that. I pressed my lips to his, soft and gentle, feeling them mold to the shape of his. After a moment he kissed me back, dragging my lips into a small wave of his heat.

I broke away, feeling a little shaken by everything. I took a deep breath and looked back to his sleeping face. His lips were pulled up at the corners in a slight smile.

A door slammed, startling me from the sweet moment. Loud stalking footsteps bombarded the area. _Alice._

Edward started waking, yawning, stretching, and mumbling unintelligibly. I stood and went to the steel bars anxiously, looking for her spiky black head. She met Officer Murray at the front counter, speaking to him in a quick trill. He searched her purse and led her through the gate that connected the main office with the cells.

"Oh my God, Bella! It's true, I can't believe you're actually here. I know some lawyers can be criminals but I think this is taking it too far!" She spoke a mile a minute in her black leather boots and long coat. She turned to Officer Murray. "Hurry it up, can't you see they've been stuck here all night?!" she demanded in exasperation.

"You got here fast. Did you fly a plane or something?"

"No I just sped through all the yellow lights—I mean…" She gave Officer Murray a cute smile. His walrus mustache twitched up pleasantly.

"Anyway, don't ask, it's been a long night. I need to go home." I jerked to the side, startled as Edward loomed up beside me.

"Morning Alice," he greeted with a tired smile while straightening his attire.

I didn't dare sneak more looks at him, this was embarrassing enough. I was afraid I would see disappointment grace his features. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

The cell door swung open, we signed release papers and were allowed to gather our things like cell phones and wallets. Alice put her arm around me, continuously fawning over my welfare. I let her.

When we finally got outside I saw Jasper sitting idly in the driver's seat, waiting for us to climb in and get settled.

"Hey there party animals," he joked gently.

I smiled weakly at him before turning my attention out the window. Alice kept glancing at me in her side mirror with reassuring looks.

"What happened last night?" Jasper prodded as he drove through downtown.

It went uncomfortably silent for a moment.

"I thought it was obvious, Jazz. Bella and I spent the night _together_," Edward replied smoothly.

I glanced at him and he winked at me. My eyes went wide.

"Oh?" Jasper asked, playing along.

"Ya see, Bella is a wild one so we needed a human sized cage."

I snorted a laugh into my hand before I could stop myself. Edward gave me a smug smile and I didn't mind at all. I was relieved that he smiled, period.

"And you still have the ability to walk?" Jasper asked in mock disbelief. "I don't know why you bothered calling us for a ride then. What were you doing, reading bedtime stories?"

"I know how to handle a feisty woman," Edward boasted, speaking about me like I wasn't there.

Alice laughed out loud and playfully put a hand on Jasper's knee. "Darling, I'm offended at your thoughtlessness."

"Alice, I apologize. You're the wildest of them all. I promise to do you the same consideration. What's your favorite bedtime story?" he laughed.

"That cell is certainly larger than your cubicle, Jasper," I teased.

The four of us laughed and snickered. It felt so good to laugh after a long, terrible night.

I noticed Edward frequently shifted in his seat during the drive. Aside from changing positions of leaning back or sitting upright, he looked like he didn't know what to do with his hands. His one hand would either lie in the middle seat between us or switch to resting on his knee with the occasional finger tapping. Whenever I chanced a glance at him I caught him staring at me. It wasn't a blank trance or perverted leering, just…I wasn't sure exactly but it was obvious he was thinking something. He would look away belatedly, more out of politeness than embarrassment. The whole thing was unnerving.

I was dropped off first, so I said my goodbyes and Alice hugged me and promised to call me later. Edward gave me a small polite smile which seemed a very normal thing to do but in light of well…everything, it only confused me more.

As soon as I entered my apartment I fell onto my soft bed face down with barely the energy to kick off my heels. I succumbed to deep sleep without another thought.

~/~/~/~

When I woke, the sun was setting and I pulled myself up to shower and nibble on toast. The warm water felt good on my skin but didn't wash away the humiliating memories of last night. The toast filled my stomach but I sat unseeing at the television, still hungry for answers. What was going through Edwards mind now?

I couldn't think about it anymore or it would drive me crazy. I needed to concentrate on packing my things. I was supposed to leave for Forks tomorrow to spend Christmas with Charlie.

By five fifteen in the morning, all the coffee mugs from my sink were clean and in the drying rack, the clutter on my desk neatly piled, coats and sweaters hung back in the closet, laundry folded, living room tidied and vacuumed, and my packed bag and purse laying on the floor beside my bed. At the end of the spick and span trail was me, curled into my bed to get a few hours of shuteye.

Hours later the sunlight peered through my blinds, waking me with a start. I glanced at my clock. _Crap, it's nine-thirty!_ I was going to hit the holiday rush on the highway now. I rolled out of bed to get the day started, still cursing. I pulled on my clothes that had been laid out for the day, made coffee for my thermos, and gathered my things. As I went downstairs to load my car, I saw a small package sticking out of my mailbox.

I lifted the old fashioned latch to grab it and continued heading out the door. After slamming my stuff in the backseat, I eased into the driver's seat with my coffee, turning over the package with bewilderment. My full name and address were written but there was no return address. While sipping my coffee in one hand, I tore the sleeve of the padded envelope open.

A pair of furry pink handcuffs slid out of the pouch.

I sprayed my mouthful of coffee at the windshield and choked back the much needed oxygen. Surprise was an understatement. I dangled the pink fuzzy handcuffs between thumb and forefinger, eyeing it with suspicion and wonder.

There was a note in the pouch.

_Bring these the next time you want to play._

_-Mr. Cullen_

I felt a quiver zip down into my gut and a blush creep up my cheeks uncontrollably. Several images flashed through my mind and I threw the cuffs into the glove compartment to stop the thoughts. He wasn't mad at me but God damn it, I was still caught off-guard. Edward was constantly surprising me.

_Screw rush hour traffic_. I bounded out of my car and up the stairs to my apartment. I rifled through my desk for my Polaroid camera with excitement. _Aha!_ I rushed into my bedroom for ducky number six. I got a good angle and snapped a photo of the innocent looking rubber duck on my night table.

_Yes Mr. Cullen, ducky number six lives. And you still can't have it. _

I didn't add a note, I just stuffed it into an envelope and wrote his name on the back. It wouldn't hurt to take a detour by his apartment building on my way to Forks. The unique pointed skyscraper of his apartment building was all too familiar to me. I left the envelope with the doorman and finally started my trip home, smiling stupidly. He would most assuredly know it was from me.

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**More fun times to come....and if you're wondering exactly how Edward escaped the ladies room, more details about that will be in the next chapter. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi again =) **

**Big thanks to Dollegirl for rocking the cradle to my baby story.**

**Songs for this chapter are: Use Somebody by Kings of Leon and Brand New Day by Ryan Star **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but I love a snarky Lawward.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." – Franklin D. Roosevelt_

"_The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action." – John Dewey_

"_The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself." – Mark Twain_

**Chapter Fifteen**

The week of my holiday vacation I thought about Edward; his lips, his eyes, his mannerisms. I was absorbed in them. It was uncommon to think of him without a dose of irritation but there I was, in my old room from high school daydreaming of him like a lovesick teenager. And to make it more difficult, I had the worst, _it's so good it's bad_, night time dreams. They had started with a plot or a setting like a picnic in a field, and gradually lead to Edward feeding me with his fingers and laying me down in the grass.

It was quiet in Forks and brought me back to my younger years where things had been simple and less hectic. I sat on my bed looking at the old mementos hanging on the walls. My room was cozy and quaint with the same quilted bedspread and various experimental art project disasters that Charlie had loved.

In high school, I'd never had close friends until I met Angela and Ben when I moved to Forks. We had many good times together, even after they became a couple. They were very similar and had a lot in common, it had always seemed like they were meant for each other. But sometimes I had wondered where I fit in as I grappled with the awkward stages of puberty.

In November, I'd been so happy to see Angela and Ben when they had visited me. Just seeing them together reminded me of what I didn't have. It was real and lasting and committed. I didn't want another agonizing blind date of awkward conversation and clumsy sex.

When I went my other route and chose the occasional one-night stand, one had come back to bite me in the ass like one of the ghosts of Christmas past.

I lay back into my pillows with a sigh. _Edward Cullen, you are much more than I bargained for…_

"Bells, you coming downstairs? Folks just arrived," Charlie called from the bottom of the steps.

"I'll be right down," I called back and sat up in my tiny single-sized bed.

It was time to put Edward and my childhood reminiscing out of my mind to greet the guests. I fixed my hair and straightened out my clothes before joining our visitors.

I liked my Christmas holidays with Charlie. It was usually a small group of old family friends, the Blacks and the Clearwaters,. It was always a laidback group where Charlie and Billy would comment on how fast we were growing up and how old they were getting. Sue would reprimand Jake and Seth for cleaning their fingernails with pocket knives at the table as she instructed Leah and I on preparing the food in the kitchen. Sue was like a mother hen and had reminded me of the maternal part I had been missing in my childhood. I'd never trade in Renee, but it had been nice to have a more traditional domesticated female figure around once in awhile.

They were all tanned, weathered, hardy friends and I had been the girl that left for Seattle to make something of herself that the small town couldn't offer. We all caught up with small talk, soft jabs to the ribs, and light-hearted jokes.

Charlie glanced at me a lot through dinner, smiling and looking concerned in his gruff manner that he usually displayed. He cared a lot about people–hence his chosen profession—but he didn't really let his softer side show. I had inherited a lot of Charlie in me.

Dinner was more than delicious, thanks to Sue. Table talk was very relaxing, nothing like my lunches with Edward. Sue would have her own pow-wow with Charlie and Billy whenever they mentioned politics. She was an enthused, no nonsense woman that kept up with them easily. Jake and Seth joked around a lot while Leah rolled her eyes at her brother. Seth had to wait another year before applying to colleges so Jake took the opportunity to tease him about scary freshmen stories and the misguided college girls that were 'easy'.

Leah was in her last year at Washington State University so I gave her advice on life after graduation. Charlie's mustache twitched frequently as I partially hijacked the conversation over us 'kids' with my friendly lecture of paying bills and proper etiquette on submitting job resumes. It had certainly interrupted Jake's teasing about college frat parties. By the end of dinner I managed to get Jake to smile sheepishly and offer to give my Mercedes a free oil change before I left.

After I finished helping Sue with the dishes, I took the opportunity to get some fresh air outside on the front porch. I really could not get over how quiet it was here. I could hear a truck coming down a gravel road half a mile before I saw it. In Seattle, the vehicles bombarded noisily into pedestrians personal space. Needless to say, I took advantage of the peace and quiet to concentrate on untangling the mess I had left behind in Seattle.

Leaving the city allowed me to reflect on the last few months. I had been a lot of things, mostly scared. Edward was a powerful man, whether he was rude or polite, the very room he entered lent him a commanding presence. I'd used quite a number of men after I'd given up dating. They had used me too. It was mutual. Edward Cullen clearly was not the man to side step or take advantage of though.

I thought some higher power in the universe was cursing me for breaking many hearts by bringing Edward Cullen to me. I had been very annoyed by him and intrigued along the way. It was difficult to believe that a single man could have this kind of an affect on me and after dating so many men, I tried to reject this feeling. I liked keeping the ball in my court. I didn't want him to see him to see what he did to me because I thought he would use it to his advantage and toy with me. It seemed like he was toying with me most of the time.

I knew there were a lot of things he wasn't telling me as he felt the right to unravel information about me. He'd made me so mad and then turned it into a 'friend thing' somehow. And then had declared it ran deeper than that for him.

The screen door creaked open, breaking up my thoughts.

"It's getting cold out here, you need a jacket?" Charlie asked with a can of beer in his hand.

I smiled. "No thanks Dad, I'll just come inside." The frosty air nipped at my skin and I was tired from being alone with my thoughts.

He smiled back and put his flannel arm around me. Charlie had been so happy to see me ever since I arrived to Forks.

The whole group lounged in the living room, chatting and reminiscing about past holidays and whether the local eggnog was better than last year. After a couple more hours Sue declared it was late and time to go. All of us exchanged tight hugs and claps on the back before the merry group shuffled out–or in Billy's case, wheeled out.

Charlie stretched out on his old chair in front of the television while I made myself cozy on the couch with a book. Halfway through his sports program, Charlie turned down the volume of the TV and I looked up at him expectantly. He shifted in his chair and took frequent sips of beer. He looked fairly uncomfortable but I'd seen worse. It was the evening he had decided to have the 'birds and the bees' and 'guys only want one thing' talk when I was sixteen. We'd both rushed through it with awkward silences and uncomfortable outbursts before I excused myself to an early night sleep.

I stifled a chuckle at how ridiculous we had been. "Dad, what is it?"

He glanced at me with unease and took another gulp of beer. "Is everything okay in Seattle?"

"Yes, why?" I asked, confused by the question.

"Just making sure." But he continued to look increasingly uncomfortable. "If you have anyone special, you know he's welcome here if you…well, if you want to bring him home."

That was not what I was expecting to hear and now also started to feel awkward. I played with the pages of my book as I spoke. "Um, no Dad, there isn't anyone but…thanks," I mumbled. "Err…did you really want to talk about men?"

"Well no. But I feel like you're alone too much and I worry about you Bella." Charlie looked at me with concern but timid about treading on my business. He was so unlike Renee.

"I don't mind being alone," I reassured with a half-hearted smile. "I suppose I'm like my dad in a lot of ways."

"Hmph," he replied gruffly. "It's not the same. I already had my chance and experiences."

Charlie was usually a man of few words but he usually didn't waste time getting right to the point.

My parent's divorce had always been an example hanging over me of how things didn't work out. Even though I hadn't moved in with Charlie until high school, I knew had been lonely ever since Renee went off like the free spirit she was. Fresh out of college, I had been determined to find someone and had started dating eagerly. After so many disasters I had realized that I could be reliving my parents' relationship without knowing it before it was too late. I didn't wanted to end up heartbroken and alone like Charlie, but I also didn't wanted to make their mistakes.

"Do you…" I stopped focusing on my book and looked up at him. "Do you ever regret the way things turned out with mom?" I felt completely ashamed for asking, but Charlie and I had never talked about this.

"No," he answered without hesitation.

"Even if you knew that things wouldn't work out?" I'd never sought advice on relationships from him. It had always been too embarrassing.

He looked at his beer can for a moment before answering. "I'm glad she's happy and I've made peace with it long ago. Your mother and I were too different, but I've never regretted my time with her nor my love for her. She gave me you, Bella." His eyes watered a little and he shifted them away from mine. Then he cleared his throat before taking another sip of beer like he was trying to swallow back his emotions.

I felt like I was going to cry too but managed to hold it back. Though Charlie and I weren't good at heart-to-heart conversations, he'd always showed that he cared in every other way. I wouldn't have gotten to know my father as well as I did if it hadn't been for Renee's traveling and fun-loving lifestyle.

"No one can see the finish line before they start running," he added gruffly and turned the volume back up on the TV.

I thought a lot about what Charlie said as I lay awake in my tiny bedroom. I had been content enough with my ways until Edward Cullen pulled the rug right out from under me. I understood that I would never know anything beyond myself if I didn't try.

Time went by peacefully yet sluggishly in those few quiet days of relaxation in Forks. Jake changed my oil as promised and I had been itching to get back to Seattle. Monday morning the office was bustling again though somewhat quiet as people grudgingly got back into their fast-paced routine. Many exchanged stories of their holidays and leftover candy canes with each other for most of the morning.

Jessica passed around pictures of a new puppy Mike had given her for Christmas. She squealed like a parrot every time someone _oohed_ and _aahed_ over the ridiculous images. She had dressed up the poor pup in what looked like doll clothes and had him personified in all her photos. The pup was "reading" a book under a tree, sitting by the window to watch people pass by on the street, or roller skating on all fours in the park. And finally a family Christmas photo with her, Mike, and the pup dressed in matching holiday knit sweaters with reindeer on them. Alice and I snickered all morning over it. Even Jasper fought back tears of laughter when the photos got past his way in the cubicles.

I still hadn't seen Edward. I was on edge. It had been six days of not seeing or speaking to him. I was anxious about my feelings and impatient to discuss the night of the holiday party with him. I was feeling fierce about clearing up any misunderstandings on my intentions too. It's true, Edward had seemed to let the whole fiasco roll off his back with smiles and witty jokes, but I wasn't sure if he had done that only for my benefit in front of Alice and Jasper. I kept catching myself spacing out and tapping my pen against the desk rapidly when we weren't laughing about Jessica.

Alice was mooning about Jasper for a good chunk of the morning. It was the first time she had taken him home to meet the parents for the holidays and explained it all to me in great detail. As to be expected, her parents loved Jasper to no end. In between her reminiscing she would get a text message from him and sigh dreamily with a sunshine gaga expression every time she replied. It was adorable and a bit gross at how much she went on about him.

By the end of her long-winded gushing she asked, "Oh Bella, can you grab some more post-it notes? I've got a million calls to make this morning."

Since I was completely useless at my desk anyway, I happily complied for something to do other than think about Edward. I marched across the office and down the hall to the supply closet. It was located between the office and the conference room with a nestled space of its own. Lawrence Associates went through a hideous amount of paper and had every office supply a person could only imagine.

I slipped through the door and it was almost pitch-black. I flipped the light switch where I knew it would be after years of coming in here, but the light was dead. I fumbled down the long narrow space for the string to the second light at the back of the room.

"Shit," I mumbled as I almost tripped on nothing. _You'd think we would have a supply of flashlights too._ I waved my hands in the air trying to feel for the string when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I choked back a scream.

"Shh. It's just me," he whispered in a thick, low voice into my ear. Goosebumps sprinkled my flesh.

My pulse raced as the familiar pair of arms turned me around to face him. I smacked Edward's arm. "How dare you frighten me like that!" I whispered, still shaking from the aftershock.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he whispered back.

His scent of fresh laundry and vanilla settled over me like an aphrodisiac. I tried to mentally collect myself. "What are you doing in here anyway? I thought you had Lauren answer your every whim."

"Jasper sent me here. He said we just got a shipment of woven twenty-four pound index paper. It's got the new Lawrence watermark on it and I didn't think Lauren had enough brains to find it."

"Oh." I was commenting more on the 'coincidental' situation that Alice and Jasper had set up.

"I couldn't find the light down here and then I heard your voice."

"And couldn't you holler a greeting like a normal person?"

"I guess I was excited to see you." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"But you can't _see_ me," I said flatly.

I forget his arms were still around my waist until he squeezed me closer.

"How was your holiday?" I asked, trying to distract him.

"It was nice." His breath graced my lips and I inhaled sharply, unaware that his face had become so close to mine in the darkness. "And yours?"

"It was…um… good." I couldn't believe how nervous I was to be intimate in his presence instead of my usual annoyance. I tried once again to distract him with polite inquiry. "Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?"

"Not quite," he whispered gently and boldly pressed me close.

I sensed he was going to kiss me in the dark and I gulped loudly. "Edward, what are you…" I blinked back in surprise when I felt his hair tickle my chin and then his warm lips made contact with the arch of my neck. I gasped as the touch sent a shivery flutter through me.

"We shouldn't be doing this at work," I protested meekly. Automatically I angled my neck to give him better access. It was too easy for him to distract me. "I want to talk to you about last week."

"Then you talk and I'll listen," he whispered into my neck and brushed his lips against my pulse.

_Like I could concentrate on words right now._ However, without the force of his penetrating eyes on me, I could release my feelings more easily in the dark. "Fine." My bosom swelled with new air, inflating against his chest. "I'm sorry I got you drunk and ended the night with us both in jail." It all came out in a single streaming thought as my breath quickened.

His nose grazed along my neck. "Why were trying to get me drunk?" he whispered softly into my skin.

I chewed on my lip to keep from moaning. "To…to take advantage of you."

His pressed lips parted against my skin and his tongue licked. My breath caught in my throat. Gooseflesh followed the delicate heated and wet trail enclosed in soft dragging lips. I moaned as my insides felt like they were melting.

He nipped my ear gently and breathed, "Apology accepted."

My breath came rapidly now and my hands fumbled to grasp the secure shelves around us to support my weight.

He continued kissing a path along my jaw as he slowly pinned me with small pressure against the shelf. His lips were soft and warm and gentle on my skin. It tickled too but my anticipation grew as he neared my lips. He finally placed a small kiss at the corner of my mouth and then pulled back, pausing.

"What do you want Bella?" His voice was soft and quiet.

My eyelids fluttered open. It took me a moment to come out of my daze to think somewhat coherent. My hands curled on the shelf's edge, fighting for self-control and my instinctual urge to cling to him. "I…I'm not sure." My voice shook from the intensity of this intimate confrontation.

His fingers gently stroked my arms and up to my shoulders. They brushed along my collarbones and grazed my neck, causing another shiver to reverberate down my spine. His hands rested at my jaw, cupping my face on each side. "You're not sure about what?" he murmured, his warm breath blowing across my lips again.

Those six days felt like the longest week of my life, wondering what he was thinking only to find him eager and forgiving now. The dreams and missing his touch had haunted me. I reached up with trembling hands and curled my fingers into his hair, bringing his head closer to kiss him.

I replied in a shaky whisper. "I don't think I can stay away from you."

My lips found his, anxiously, and I tugged his face even closer. I had missed him more than I could put into words. This realization washed over me in waves, breaking down a few walls of my resistance. Perhaps this was months of control finally letting up or our recent time away from each other having a strange affect. Or perhaps it was both.

His soft, full mouth drew mine in. Our lips moved together, slow yet urgent. His hand trailed lightly up my back, his fingers fisting into my hair.

This kiss was so different from our others. It wasn't rough or hungry. We were learning about each other. Edward kept playfully nipping my top and bottom lip intermittently between deep kisses.

The things his mouth could do._ The places it could go..._ I wanted so much more of this, it was overwhelming. I'd completely forgotten my surroundings at this point and angled my head to deepen our kiss further. I felt him smile against my lips. His tongue swept along my bottom lip before entering my mouth. Our tongues playfully swirled and stroked together and _God_ it was erotic like I'd never known. I clutched his hair tightly and moaned in his arms and against his lips.

The things his tongue could do. _The places it could go…_ I pressed my hips against his and Edward groaned into my mouth. I moaned lightly and wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips continued moving feverish and playful in soft consistent motions as our tongues rubbed languid and slow together.

After the many times he'd presented me with opportunities like this, I was finally testing the waters in the right state of mind. He hadn't forced me, he had waited for me to surrender of my own volition and meet him in the middle. Despite the strong man that was Edward Cullen, he'd given me the power to choose.

I broke apart from him to catch my breath. We were both breathing hard only an inch away from each other. My fingers loosened their pull on his hair and went to rest on his shoulders. His hand that had tangled itself in my hair before, curled beside my face. He brushed the back of his fingers along my cheek. Even though he couldn't see me in the darkness, I closed my eyes at the feel of his hand. So many emotions welled up inside of me at that simple touch of tenderness.

"Bella," he whispered, still fighting to slow his breathing.

I tried to keep my voice from shaking. "I'm scared of this. The way you make me feel, it's too much."

"What do I make you feel?" he asked with a new roughness in his voice.

"Frustrated."

"You mean excited…" he added playfully and pressed himself to me again.

"And completely exasperated."

He chuckled softly against my lips between more kisses.

"And… desired," I mumbled after a moment.

He kissed me harder and all at once our limbs wrapped around each in a tangle of passion and urgency. I didn't know how far this would go but my body had its own agenda. I welcomed the pressure of his chest and hips against me as my hands roamed through his hair and along the collar of his shirt.

My attention drew to a single thin line of light from the doorway in my peripheral vision and my senses perked up alarm. Edward must have sensed it to, along with the sudden tension in my posture. We broke apart just in time as the squeak of the door hinges sounded with the movement of someone opening it. We squinted against the light.

Rosalie's unmistakable form appeared in the doorway as we both shielded our eyes from the pouring light in the hallway. She stopped in her tracks and gave us a once over look.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat and put her hands on her hips in all of her frightening and authoritative glory.

I must have been too caught up in the moment to hear her signature clicking heels.

The three of us gaped at each other for a moment.

"This is exactly what it looks like," Edward told her. What the hell is he doing now?

"Mr. and Mr. Lawrence just took on a new case this morning and its hell. I've left you a stack of documents on your desk, Mr. Cullen." She spoke in that all too familiar tone of cold leadership.

As if we weren't in a closet and had not just been caught making out, Edward addressed her with his usual smooth politeness. "I'll take a look at them right away, thank you for bringing them to my office."

"I would have brought them here if I knew you spent so much time in the supply closet. Would you like me to move your desk in this location since you seem to prefer it?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

I just stared dumbly between the two of them, waiting for my verbal backhand from Ms. Hot-shot boss, Rosalie Lawrence.

Edward put his hand up in leisurely kindness. "That won't be necessary. The view is…" His eyes swept over my body from head to toe in quick appreciation. My mouth tightened with disapproval. He cleared his throat with a bit of force and looked back to Rosalie. "There are no windows in here. And I don't think you have the strength to lift my desk."

Rosalie's raised brow twitched in annoyance.

"Right well…" He turned to me awkwardly but kept his distance. "Thank you Ms. Swan for showing me where all the uhh…supplies are." With that, he stepped aside under Rosalie's withering frown and departed from the closet.

I watched the back of his head disappear as my human shield left me to duke it out with Rosalie single-handedly. Before I could go off in a stumbling apologetic ramble, she relaxed with her arms at her sides and sagged against the door frame. She snickered at my confused expression.

"There's nothing like knocking down a fellow head of department. Men," she tisked with the shake of her head and a rueful smile.

I joined her in the doorway as we looked at Edward's retreating form disappear behind the closed door to his office. I started giggling a little too.

Her eyes twinkled with her recent triumph. "I'm blonde, beautiful, and working for daddy. I have to keep everyone here in their place to maintain their respect for me."

"I thought you were going to whip out a warning a slip," I said nervously.

She waved my words off with the back of her hand. "Edward would probably adjust the document to a good working review with his flawless methods anyway." She rolled her eyes. "We should talk about this more in my office."

I nodded and followed her back to her desk. I helped myself to the chair across from her as she languidly crossed her long legs underneath her. She wasted no time getting to the point.

"You're lucky it was me that caught you and not anybody else."

The embarrassment rose anew across my face. "I know, me too."

"That kind of behavior is not tolerated in a communal work environment."

I nodded, looking down at my hands in shame.

"Now if you were to be continuing that sort of behavior in a _private _office, there's not much I can do about it," she went on casually.

"Huh?" I looked up to her smirking lips and flashing eyes. Was I hearing this correctly? "Pardon?" I asked again.

"Out of sight, out of mind, Isabella," she lectured in a parental tone.

"Are you giving me permission to continue this…kind of behavior with a coworker?" I asked, unsure. I wanted to be perfectly clear with her.

"I like to keep this department running smoothly. I don't tolerate dramatic affairs. If I sense a deep attachment between coworkers, I know when to give some breathing room. Alice and Jasper are a perfect example of that." She rolled her eyes toward me. "And it's not just any coworker. It's Edward Cullen."

"Edward Cullen…" I repeated, questioningly.

"Yes. If I didn't have Emmett and Edward didn't have eyes for you, I would go after him myself. I'm not ashamed to say it."

Well this was news to me. "I see."

"You have to work with me, Bella! I can't keep approving his projects with you, I think it's a bit obvious by now and I don't want to be known for playing favorites in the office."

I became even more flustered. By not going after Edward, I was making Rosalie's job inconvenient for her? This was too comical. I think Emmett may have loosened Rosalie's uptight demeanor. I shook my head in hopes of clearing it.

"Have I been wrong all this time? Do you not have feelings for him?" She was biting a manicured fingernail now and looking at me anxiously.

My feelings for Edward were… complicated. The weight of Rosalie's statement finally hit me though. "Wait, you've been allowing him make me his lacky this whole time?!" I stood from the chair with a rising temper. All the times I had wanted to kill Edward for driving me up a wall. Staying late, making copies, filing, waiting by the fax machine, those hazardous dusty boxes I almost died from… "Ugh!" I prepared to march out of her office.

Rosalie leaned back in her chair. "Sit down, Isabella."

I stood stubbornly with my arms across my chest, fuming.

"Stubborn ass lawyer," she mumbled. "Sit," she ordered in a firmer tone.

I eased back into my chair, giving her a wary look.

"I just can't believe this!" I threw my hands in the air with renewed outrage. "You realize you're responsible for months of him tormenting me."

"Hardly," she replied, flicking a small speck of lint off her cashmere sweater. "I do not control Edward Cullen. If he's been truly upsetting you all this time you could have gotten out of it in a number of ways." She went on, regardless of my attempt to interrupt her. "You could have spoken to me privately, you could have written up a complaint of sexual harassment, you could have simply ignored him and asked Alice to switch her load of work. There are a number of things you could have done. I believe that you, Isabella Swan, subconsciously enjoyed your extra time with him. I simply set up the situations and you followed through with them the way you wished to. Do not blame any of this on me." Her tone was calm and patient, but she was dead serious.

I was completely speechless as a number of thoughts ran through my mind. Rosalie's words put the clues and pieces of information together one by one for me. I was an idiot.

Edward had been very clever. I thought I was the only one under his microscope, but I realized he had put himself out there for me to study him too. He'd let himself be that person on the opposite end of my sarcasm while he jabbed at me to get my reactions. The 'friend thing' and the teasing were ingenious, forceful interactions, disguised as opportunity. All the lunches and bickering had been ways to exchange our opinions back and forth. He'd bothered me to no end because he _wanted_ me to get to know him before I could really reject him. _Clever Mr. Cullen._ I had answered to his every challenge. I had cared enough instead of ignoring him. I wasn't so sure I could really reject him anymore.

She smiled at me. "Just keep the more intimate situations behind closed doors from now on."

I nodded silently and we both stood from our chairs. She leaned over and fished out a folder from a pile next to her desk and handed it to me. I recognized it as the folder with the post-it notes I'd left on her desk weeks ago when I had discovered Emmett hiding out in his boxer shorts. It was now filled with her corrections for our records.

"Nothing escapes my notice. It is my job to stay on top of things here." She gave me a knowing look that said it all. She knew I had been in her office that day and the folder was hard evidence.

"Oh and Isabella?"

I stopped at the door and turned to look at her. "I'll need those documents from Mr. Cullen after lunch this afternoon."

My cheeks pinked as I exited her office.

I went back to my desk, still wrapping my head around everything that had happened in the last forty-five minutes. As soon as I plunked myself down in my chair, Alice reached over the half-wall and stuck a message to it.

"I see you have plenty of post-it notes still," I commented acidly.

"I guess I thought I was running low…" She did a poor job of stifling a laugh.

"Very funny. I'm catching on to you Miss Brandon, don't think I'll fall for any more of your tricks!"

"Sorry, I thought you and Edward might want to pick up where you left off last week." She giggled mercilessly behind her hand. "Anyway, that message is from him."

I huffed and snatched the note off the wall.

_My office. –E_

How vague of him. My nerves were already strung out from Rosalie and Alice's meddling, but somehow I knew seeing him would make me feel better—even if it was just for his dish of chocolate candies.

I fixed my hair a little, smoothing it out with my fingers. I stopped right outside his door and knocked briskly.

"Come in," I heard from within.

I opened it a crack and poked my head in first. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be interrupting a meeting. He was alone thankfully and stood immediately from behind his desk. He waved me in, looking at me anxiously as I closed the door behind me. He was already walking from around his desk toward me.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why?" My brow furrowed at his concern.

"I thought maybe Rosalie gave you some sort of punishment after I left. I'm sure I can talk to her about retracting her warning slip," he said seriously.

"No, that's not necessary." I didn't want to tell him that it was actually no big deal or I would have to explain a lot more behind Rosalie's motives. "It was just a verbal warning. No harm, no foul," I said quickly.

His face broke out in a relieved smile and he approached me more closely.

"We'll just have to keep things behind closed doors," I suggested, nervously biting my lip as I looked up at him.

It couldn't hurt to throw the idea at him that I had just agreed to with Rosalie. I needed to present the opportunity this time and have Edward test _my_ waters, so to speak. Even though Edward confused me, his feelings had never really been wishy-washy. This was something new between us and I needed to be reassured by actions once again.

He reached up and pulled my bottom lip away from my teeth with the pad of his thumb. "So you plan on it happening again…" he said quietly, suddenly staring down at my lip as he brushed his finger along it.

"Well that depends."

His eyes flew back up to mine. "On what?"

"On whether you can keep up with me," I answered with a sly smile. I figured I wouldn't mention the fact that I almost melted into a puddle at his feet in the supply closet.

He smirked back at me and leaned down for another kiss. I backed away from him.

"First we need to discuss a few things," I said in the most steady and firm tone I could muster within his close proximity.

He decided to play along with me, his smirk fixed across his face. He motioned with his hand for us to sit at his desk. "Shall we?"

I nodded and walked ahead of him. Instead of taking my usual seat, I went straight for his high leather chair and not so gracefully sat myself in it. He walked toward me with his intense stare and carefully sat down in the wooden chair across from me.

Satisfied, I propped my legs up on the corner and crossed them at the ankles while casually picking up his candy dish. I mimicked his mannerisms and swirled the delicate crystal goblet before offering it to him.

"Chocolate?" I asked innocently.

He barked a laugh and gave me an evil grin. "Thank you," he said graciously and unwrapped the chocolate while continuing to stare at me intently. He brought the chocolate up slowly, wrapping his lips around it and sucked it into his mouth.

I looked away and put the dish back down with a clatter.

I shook my head to get my thoughts in order and not focus anymore on the chocolate or his lips. He chuckled as I tried to compose myself.

"When Alice and Jasper picked us up from the police station, you told some jokes…"

His eyebrows rose. "Did I offend you?"

"No. I was more perplexed by the fact that you weren't mad at me after what had happened…" I trailed off, unsure for a moment.

As understanding dawned, he started laughing at me. It rang out in deep, fluid tones. I checked myself, making sure I had all my blouse buttons secure. I was completely lost as to why he was laughing. Sometimes we had very different senses of humor.

"I was definitely surprised to be waking up in that kind of bed with you. However, it was obvious that you were feeling worse than my hangover. I didn't want you to agonize over it, you're too hard on yourself."

"You're telling me that aside from your headache you were perfectly fine with how things had progressed that night?" I asked, challenging him.

He laughed again and shook his head. "Bella, I wanted to go home with you that night but…I'm glad we didn't. I would have regretted not remembering anything." I felt the same way. His eyes swept over my face, seeming to decipher my pained expression.

He leaned back in the chair and sighed heavily. I sighed too as my gaze wandered to the objects on his desk, which was a growing habit of mine.

"Sometimes I think you bring out the worst in me," I admitted.

He grinned maliciously. "You bring out a lot in me too. I've never spent all night with a woman and not had sex with her."

I shot him a scowl and he laughed again. "I've never spend the night in jail," he amended.

"I've never ransacked a man's apartment before," I chimed in, since we continued counting off things.

"I've never had to hide in a woman's bathroom stall before."

I reached for a candy from his dish. "I've never office pranked anyone before."

"Thanks for the photo."

I smiled slyly and popped the candy into my mouth.

"Did you enjoy my gift too?"

I refused to answer by concentrating on the candy in my mouth. Unfortunately, I felt my cheeks heat up. _Traitor blush…_

"I'll find that last duck Bella, even if it means putting my gift to good use."

My gaze snapped back to his face in shock. Did he really just say he was going to tie me up for interrogation of ducky number six? I had the urge to grab a folder off his desk and fan myself, otherwise I would use it to swat that smug smile off his face. There was something darker other than simple humor behind the expression. _Those handcuffs were an elevator ride away, still nestled in my car…_

I thought it best to change the subject or I would be on a losing streak of getting us into trouble twice in one day. I cleared my throat. "How did you escape the ladies restroom? I've been immensely curious."

"What's this information worth to you?"

I eyed him suspiciously. "I suppose I could give up my lucky stapler."

He shook his head in thought. "It has to be something with a bit more effort on your part."

"Buy you a new tie?"

His eyes flashed with excitement. "Dinner."

"Dinner…" I repeated thoughtfully. "What does that entail?"

"Two people going to a restaurant and eating together," he deadpanned.

That sounded harmless enough. It would be like our lunch breaks but…dark outside. I looked him over for any sign of deceit or teasing. There were none. He was still holding my gaze with a very genuine expression.

"Well?" he prompted.

"Well I suppose it sounds harmless enough."

He leaned forward. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes." I gave him a smile. I liked watching him get impatient with me. It was rare and amusing. "Now it's your turn to hold up your end of the bargain. How did you end up escaping?"

He leaned even closer across his desk and I mirrored his action, swinging my legs to the floor, eager to be in on the secret. "When the coast was clear…" he began in a low voice.

"Go on…" I urged breathlessly, my excitement rising. I was literally on the edge of my seat.

He paused, intensifying the drama of his tale. "I just walked out." He leaned back in his chair lazily and grinned.

I was waiting for him to go on, but he said no more. His grin grew wider until he was flashing all of his teeth at me.

Then it hit me.

I stood, hitting my palm on his desk, causing a loud _wham_. "THAT'S IT?"

He bit down on his lip, trying to hold back his laughter.

"You tricked me!" I accused with my index finger pointed toward him.

Unable to contain himself any longer, he let his loud laughter ring out, holding his side as his fit overtook him. I threw a wrapped chocolate at him, which landed at his chest, but didn't faze him in the slightest. "A deals a deal," he choked out.

"Edward Cullen, you are beyond aggravating sometimes," I ground out.

As was my habit, I prepared to stalk out of his office until my frustration dissipated from the absence of his presence. But I was fumbling a bit, trying to pick which side of the desk to walk around and get to the door under the added pressure of his watchful eyes and amusing grin.

When I passed his chair indignantly, his hand snapped out and firmly took hold of my wrist. I looked down at him in surprise and annoyance.

He stood before me and his hand on my wrist traveled up the rest of my arm to my shoulder in a tantalizing fashion. Then he brought his hand to my face and lifted my chin with his finger, bringing me closer to his glittering gaze. I was too stunned to protest.

"I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain too, Ms. Swan." His voice was so husky that my eyelids almost fluttered closed. "Friday at eight."

He stared into my eyes a moment longer until my gaze fell from the sudden overwhelming intensity. When I didn't object he gently retracted his hand from me.

"And there's one more thing I need from you." He spoke, angling his face down toward me and I met his eyes once again, expectantly. With a folder now in his hand, he slid it up slowly within the small space between our bodies and handed it to me. "Please, give this to Rosalie." He said in a seductive tone. He gave me a quick smile before walking around his desk and resuming his leather chair.

And just like that, the tables turned once again. My mind was still fumbling between the reason for my tantrum and the affect he continued to have on me. With a lust-induced brain, I clumsily latched onto the doorknob and wobbled out.

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**I'd like to rec **_**On The Inside of Love**_** by Nicnicd and MusicJunki. Link is on my Faves List.**

**Don't forget to check out the I Hate You, Kiss Me Outtakes – scenes from EPOV are posted so far. More will be added in the future and that is also in my stories.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Bella: Alice I have a huge problem!**

**Alice: Ohhh a HUGE problem... The drug store down the street sells Trojan Large.**

**Bella: No not that! Alice, I can't find the keys to the fuzzy pink handcuffs!**

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**Rosalie: Hey girl.**

**Alice: Bella lost the keys to her fuzzy pink handcuffs.**

**Rosalie: I have the same pair in red! She can use my key.**

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**Emmett: Hey you sexy minx...what are you wearing right now...?**

**Bella: What?! Ugh, Emmett it's Bella.**

**Emmett: Oh...**

**Bella: I'm at Rose's place, we've searched high and low for her red fuzzy handcuffs, do you have them?? I need the key!**

**Emmett: Uh yeah, come on over. Bring Rose with you.**

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**Jasper: S'up dude?**

**Emmett: Hey man, I need those handcuffs back...**

**Jasper: Aww dude but I haven't surprised Alice with them yet!**

**Emmett: Sorry man, Bella and Rose are headed over here for them now though. Bella needs the key.**

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**Edward: Hello?**

**Jasper: Hey dude, Emmett just called me for the handcuffs he let me borrow. Bella and Rosalie need them.**

**Edward: For Bella and Rose? I didn't know Bella was a lesbian, that explains everything.**

**Jasper: No dude, Bella lost her key. I was calling to ask where you got the fuzzy pink pair from so I can purchase my own.**

**Edward: No problem, we can go after you get back from Emmett's. Should we tell the author about this mix-up?**

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**Hehe! Song for this chapter is: Wonderwall by Oasis **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight……….only a ducky number six**

**Screw Red Bull, Dollegirl gives me wings.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

_"Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman." -Margaret Fuller_

**Chapter Sixteen**

I was extremely out of sorts with Edward. _Again._

Mounting tension and excitement mingled with my anxiety ever since our deal had been made. At first I was frustrated with Edward for his trickery. He had taken control of the situation as usual, but pride wouldn't allow me to back out of it. It was another dance battle like at Christmas, just not a _literal_ dance. Who would win this time?

I'd worked myself into a panic as many of my past dating experiences flashed to the forefront of my mind soon after the frustration lessened. What if the night ended like another disaster? Neither Alice nor our work schedule would choreograph this night. It was something entirely private that was planned with intention, free from outside forces such as holidays and the over inducement of alcohol. I kept swatting away my doubts, but it was difficult. Usually I had my blind date routine and partial interest to fall back on. A clean slate sits at the table asking polite questions, reading innuendos and body language, sizing up moral values, etc.

This time, I would have no safety net. This man knew me and I knew him and there was some heavy chemistry and sexual frustration that lay thick between us. Nothing I'd said or done had scared Edward off so far, but the possibility was still waiting in the wings. Whenever it presented itself, I still had to go back to work the next day and face the music.

I remembered my revelation in Rosalie's office and it flowed anew within my mind again. _He had wanted me to get to know him before I could really reject him._ I had to admit he was one of the most creative 'suitors' to knock on my door with his pokes and jabs than your average leering pick up line. He had always easily irritated me and while I grappled for payback, he was already spinning another project. I had come to know his style pretty well, but as for guessing his next move, I was usually surprised in some way.

To put it mildly, I had become enthralled.

He was only human. A man. I had to keep using that to my advantage. So with rousing excitement for this next big showdown—though I would never admit to him that I held this date at such a high level to spare him the flattery—I had done a mental sweep of my closet while filing papers. I knew I had to look ravishing for him. For me. It was too easy to dish out my feminine wiles, but it was in my nature – and that of all females – and it was backed by my wits, not used for any unrespectable sluttin'. I simply had to play the game. God knows Edward used his charm on me more than I'd care to admit.

Thinking about his lips and husky words while staring at my computer screen didn't help my workload though. In fact, it made me look like I was ogling porn on my desktop with my half-glazed expression.

After my closet moment of bliss with Edward, everything at work got thrown into hysterics due to our new case. Rosalie hadn't lied when she'd stated on Monday, _"Mr. and Mr. Lawrence just took on a new case this morning and its hell."_

Next thing I knew, it was all over the local newspapers.

_Arthur Daniels, a 39-year old man was found guilty by the King County superior court on December 16th on charges for child kidnapping. November 2nd, a 14-year old girl [whose parents have requested her identity not be disclosed] was abducted from her home and remained missing for two weeks until Carrie Mallory, a civilian passing by on her walk home from work found the victim alive in an alley. "She was unresponsive and looked malnourished and had clearly been through something awful," Mallory stated in her police report. Based on the victim's descriptions, Daniels was found soon after with a grotesque leg wound and immobilized in his basement on Wilkins Street. Daniels' sentence is expected to be 25 to life in the Washington Correctional Facility. However, Daniels has recently sued the victim's family for his injuries since he is no longer able to walk and will be handicapped for the rest of his life. The victim was distraught and incoherent when discovered and it is rumored she suffers from severe psychological damage, whether that is in favor or against the victim shall be for the courts to decide. Daniels has an excellent lawyer, but the attorney's office refuses to disclose any more information at this time. _

I flung the newspaper aside for the countless time today. The case had put everyone in a bad a mood this week. I stretched back in my chair, fighting a yawn. "I think I've gone through at least four cups of coffee this morning, I don't know how much more I can consume but I need it," I whined to Alice, slamming down my empty mug on my desk.

"I think we've all reached our caffeine limit. I'm switching to café lattes this afternoon. This is more than our usual sticky situation," she chimed back, rattling on the keyboard.

"It is ridiculous and grossly unnecessary to the poor child and her family. If a man enters my apartment and robs me while I'm at work, trips over a chair and fractures his knee, he has the right to sue me for his injury and possibly win," I grumbled with rising agitation.

I knew Alice was rolling her eyes from her desk. "Yeah, it's all in how the jury perceives the situation."

'Throwing aside our laws that are there to reinforce our moral code and hold people accountable for their crimes' was a common topic of discussion between Alice and I. We liked to grumble self-righteously from time to time.

"Darn right." I sat back in my chair with a huff. "It's all in how anyone perceives anything."

Alice paused in her furious typing. "Exactly."

On top of this new brunt of work and after exhausting myself mentally for the last two days about the date, Edward Cullen was not my favorite person at the moment. I thought back to yesterday morning in his office.

_At lunchtime, I knocked on Edward's door to see if he wanted to hit the Chinese food place again. He drew me into his office, his hands instantly rubbing circles into my back and trailing down my spine as soon as the door shut behind me. I reached up to find his mouth already hungrily seeking me. _

_As I opened my mouth to speak, his tongue swept in and we tasted each other while feeling the heat rush in. I moaned against his lips, firmly moving against him as my knees started to go weak. He crushed me to him more tightly and brushed a few strands from my temple before wounding his hand fully into my hair._

_I broke apart from him when I finally had to draw in some fresh air. "Where do you want to eat?"_ _I asked breathlessly._

_He kissed a path down my neck, nipping gently at my skin. "Anywhere that has you on the menu." _

_I closed my eyes as I felt my body respond with an excited little tremor. "You're very…energetic today," I commented as I angled my neck toward him._

_He hummed along my skin, continuing his ministrations with increased ardor. "This week has been treacherous with the new case, I want to get in as much of you as I can before I go back out to the insanity." _

_I moaned softly in agreement as his hand slid up my waist to just below the edge of my bra. _

"_It's been so busy lately and I won't have time for anything other than work this weekend." His nose moved the collar of my blouse aside as he ventured lower. _

"_What are you saying?" I asked, starting to feel confused while enjoying his lips on my skin. He continued kissing along my collarbone and I heard his intake of breath as he parted his mouth to lick. Ignoring my questions just wasn't like him and I immediately felt alarmed by his behavior. My fingers in his hair curled to grasp his head, bringing him back up to face me. "Please Edward, just be straight with me," I whispered, looking him directly in the eyes._

_Coming out of his cloud of lust, his eyes cleared as he looked at my worried, expectant face. "I have to cancel for Friday." He played with a strand of my hair, staring at the action with more concentration than needed. "I hope you can understand."_

I quietly started tapping the keyboard again, adding to the sound of Alice's typing. I just had to tell her for the sake of unknotting my mix of emotions, irritation and disappointment being the main two tangled up.

"Edward and I aren't going to have dinner tomorrow night."

Between her loud keyboard clacking and slamming together piles of papers, Alice spoke a mile a minute. "Yes we'll need to doll you up and don't even try to get me to back off. I insist on helping you with your make up because this will just be fantastic, I knew how it would be once you two started getting smoochy, it's only natural for a gorgeous man with money to take you out and you're already practically inseparable that I can never understand how you haven't gotten into his pants yet and—" Everything suddenly went silent and still except for the whispers of crinkling papers which I imagined were floating around her in a slow mushroom cloud. Just then, I saw a page dance up to the ceiling before airily descending. "Wait, you said _aren't_?" Alice asked in a high-pitched voice.

"Well yeah, we _were_ going to have dinner but he cancelled." I was feeling sadder from each word that tumbled out of my mouth as my insides finally unclenched with the confession. Before Alice could roll up her sleeves in preparation for an Edward-knuckle-sandwich, I continued. "He said things were just pretty busy right now… And they have been. This week has really been crazy…"

She paused on the keyboard again. "I suppose… But I still can't believe he would cancel without rescheduling another date in the future."

Even though Alice couldn't see me behind the half-wall, I forced a casual shrug. "It was only a stupid joke anyway." Earlier in the week I had told Alice of Edward tricking me and how the date was part of a bargain we'd made. As soon as I'd told her, she had mentally started putting an outfit together for me. I knew that familiar mischievous gleam in her eye; she might as well have high-fived Edward for being a sneaky son of a bitch.

"Nevertheless, you seem fairly upset by it," she commented in a lower voice, typing gently now as she waited for me to respond in equal confiding tones.

I sighed loudly, remembering anew the fresh disappointment. He seemed to feel bad about it and I understood, but it didn't make me feel any better. What was wrong with me? Annoyance with myself flared again for continuing to mope about it since yesterday. "Yeah Alice, I suppose I'm not feeling good about it."

The day dragged on mercilessly as we waded through the mess of the case. Alice and I were on the phones most of the day and jotting down excessive notes and information for Rosalie and Mr. and Mr. Lawrence. Needless to say, I was feeling a little more than strung out when Edward wandered over to my desk around eight o'clock in the evening.

"What is it Edward?" I asked wearily with a hint of impatience. Alice had packed up her things and gave me a contorted 'good luck' smile before sneaking out.

Edward looked weary himself with his tie loosened, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his lovely hair mussed all over his head. Faint shadows under his eyes made him look more brooding than usual and some light stubble was beginning to show along his jaw. "I just wanted to see you off before you go. I'll be staying a bit longer tonight."

"See me off?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and shoved my things into my bag. "I'm all out of kisses and making-out tonight I'm afraid."

His eyes narrowed as he caught up to my mood. "I was merely being polite."

"Bullshit," I mumbled.

"Where's this coming from? You weren't complaining yesterday, in fact it seemed like you enjoyed it quite a lot."

I slammed a pile of folders on my desk loudly. "Damn right I enjoyed it, a little too much. You used your _attentions_ as a distraction before hitting me over the head with bad news. Why would you pedal me all that intimacy if you were just going to cancel on me? You tried to manipulate me. Again."

He stared at me for a moment, his lips pressed in a tight line. Then he ran a hand through his hair, making the ends stick up. "I did try to manipulate you," he confessed.

I looked away from him and continued shoving things into my bag. I wasn't sure what to say in response. He was being honest with me. But I was still upset with him. More than I'd realized.

Observing my hesitation, he approached closer. He was careful not to touch me and kept a bit of distance between us as he stood next to my desk. He pressed on. "I handled that badly." He didn't exactly apologize and the silence gradually thickened between us. I didn't like that. I could almost hear a patch of tumbleweed blow by.

What was I going to do, stay mad at him for having to work? No, I wasn't going to be _that girl._ I nodded slightly in resignation, still concentrating on my bag.

"Is that all that's bothering you?" he finally asked quietly, his presence ebbing into my space.

I sighed heavily, allowing the intensity of my feelings to dissipate. "I think this case has gotten to me too," I admitted. He hummed in agreement and I looked up at him, my fierce indignation swelling. "We both know this girl should be left alone. She doesn't belong in juvi compared to the crime that man committed. Who knows what else he did to her," I added through my teeth.

"I agree of course, but that man has his rights too. Part of his body was maimed, he'll never be the same after that."

I stared at him in disbelief. "How can you have any ounce of sympathy for him? That girl will never be the same after what _he_ did so I couldn't care less about his rights."

"It's not for us to decide, we simply make the case. We can't control factors like his insurance collecting medical compensation from her family."

"That girl probably has severe psychological damage now thanks to him and her family's money should be contributing to her life-long therapy," I retorted heatedly.

His voice steadily rose too. "That's a safe assumption, but her psychoanalysis hasn't come back yet so we don't completely know what he did to her. She was in a state of mind to defend herself and in this case it was a vicious attack."

"I can't believe how unsympathetic you're being toward her."

"Bella, you're letting your emotions and ideas run rampant," he said with strict finality.

I was tired of trying to figure him out anymore tonight. I zipped my coat and threw my bag over my shoulder. _Well at least I have emotions._ My head hurt and I knew my tone would be angry and hurtful. I brushed past him, unable to utter anything else.

_Insensitive…tricky…stupid…man…_ I grumbled inwardly to myself as I rode the elevator down to the garage level. Sometimes I just didn't understand Edward. Only when my hand started to hurt did I realize I was gripping the leather strap of my bag too tightly. I flung my things into my car and started the engine. It purred to life and I continued grumbling quietly as I turned down the radio. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was in fact, truly disappointed by the date cancellation because Edward wasn't devoid of emotion or consideration.

I hadn't fully expected that.

Normally I would be relieved to be getting off the hook from his cheap trick and another date. But…well...I was immensely curious about the whole thing. I had wondered if Edward would actually go through with it.

But he didn't.

I was getting gradually sadder on the drive home and by the time I arrived just outside my apartment building, I felt like a little wilted flower. I sat in my parked car for a moment to compose myself while staring at the steering wheel. I was tired of going from a crushing schoolgirl to a chicken shit.

_Pull yourself together Bella, there's a pint of Hagen Dazs in the freezer…_

Feeling even more exhausted, I stepped out of my Mercedes with my bag hanging over my slouched shoulder, envisioning the TV dinner and ice cream that awaited me.

I stopped short when I heard a _snap crunch_ noise nearby the front steps. My senses perked up through my fatigue and I gingerly stepped closer. The dark nighttime sky began to close in on me as I strained my hearing. The top leaves of the shrubbery twitched against the brick apartment building. The panic rose up inside of me, prickling every fiber of my being. I tried to hold back my heavy breathing and I could hear my blood pounding in my ears.

All at once I heard another twig snap loudly and a squirrel skidded from the bush like a bullet. I tripped over my feet almost falling onto the pavement when a pair of arms caught me. A scream stuck in my throat as the person whirled me around to face him.

"Bella?"

My frightened eyes met Edward's green ones. His surprise quickly turned to concern. "Bella, what are you doing outside?"

As my adrenaline slowed, I sagged against his chest on the verge of tears. He put his arms around me carefully and hugged me to him. His warmth enveloped me like a protective veil keeping my rush of emotions at bay. "What happened?" he asked with quiet urgency, his lips pressing against the top of my head.

"I…I thought I heard someone in the bushes," I mumbled, pressing my face into his hard steady chest for further comfort.

"There's nothing there anymore. Whatever it was is gone. You're safe now." The tension in his body relaxed and he played with a strand of my hair that hung down the center of my back while my heart rate eased back to normal.

I sighed and pressed my nose near the base of his throat, inhaling his sweet scent. As I was sinking further into a blissful sleepy trance, it occurred to me that Edward was standing here outside my apartment building and…embracing me.

I lifted my head to look at him. "What are you doing here?"

He sighed and let go of me. "I didn't like you walking away like that…"

"It was a stupid argument," I huffed, still feeling sore about everything, yet too exhausted to argue further.

He shook his head and slowly brought his hands up to cradle my face, bringing me closer to him. "No, it wasn't stupid." His warm breath mixed with the frosty air, tickling my lips. "You were sharing your feelings when I decided to be technical. I said you were too emotional with a rampageous imagination, but I…_admire_ that passion in you."

He looked at me so seriously, his guarded eyes sweeping over my face intently. My chest felt heavy and I bit my lip. _Jeez, why do I keep feeling like I'm going to cry around him?_ His focus dropped to my biting lip and he slowly pulled it from my teeth with his thumb. I thought he was going to kiss me and I waited for it, breathlessly.

His eyes met my half-lidded gaze and he almost smirked before slowly letting his hands fall to his side. "You better get inside, it's late and dark out here," he said with the jerk of his chin toward my front door.

I felt the heat in my cheeks fade while my mind attempted to right itself. _That's all he came here for? To tell me I had passion?_ I couldn't decide if it was incredibly romantic or extremely bizarre to make the trip for it but it left me feeling…peculiar. I was deeply affected by the gesture.

"Um, would you like to come upstairs…for coffee?" _What a strange request at eight-thirty on a Thursday night. _

He smiled as his gaze flitted up the side of my building, looking for my floor, wistfully tempted. Then he said, "Thank you, but I can't. I must get back to the office tonight." He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to go.

I was debating whether to call after him with another offer of food bribery. But I knew the difference between passionate and desperate. My mind raced, not wanting him to leave. He'd come all this way on his own mission and I wanted to resolve mine too. After the games and the intimacy, I felt extremely disappointed by the date cancellation. Mirroring his earlier thoughts, I couldn't just let him walk away like that. Being the panicky, impulsive person that I was I blurted, "I want that date."

He stopped in his tracks without turning.

"Edward…" I asked again. _Damn it I wasn't going to beg._ I still had some dignity.

He turned around to face me as a gentle wintry breeze danced across his form. "You want it as badly as I do Bella," he said with a quiet happiness and the curl of his lip. He turned to go again as the smile spread further across his face.

Annoyance sparked within me again, so easily. He was so cryptic and open-ended. Was this another one of his games? I wiped the contortion off my face as he paused and looked over his shoulder. I saw a flash of desperate concern beneath his guard. "And Bella, please don't go off searching into dark corners and bushes…it's not safe." With that he walked away down the street, the edges of his trench coat fanning out against the wind behind him.

I stood dumbfounded on my steps, watching the sway of his walk and the strong posture of his shoulders. He soon disappeared behind the Seattle fog and darkness of the night.

~/~/~/~

We continued to work overtime on Friday, getting our case together against Arthur Daniels, rechecking facts, lining up witnesses, getting their statements on record, meetings with the other lawyers, appointments with the judge, _appointments, appointments, appointments._

I didn't see Edward very often until we had another hurried interdepartmental meeting. He'd purposely sat next to Jasper who sat next to Alice who sat next to me among the crowded table in the conference room. After a few minutes of sneaking looks at him, I felt a scrap of paper gently float into my lap.

_Dinner this Sunday instead? 7:00 PM._

My brows furrowed. Sunday was a school night wasn't it? I thought of how limited our time would be with a bittersweet edge. Perhaps he was desperate to make it up to me. Open desperation wasn't Edward freakin' Cullen's style though. Rifling through my mind, my eyes wandered to my notepad and schedule in front of me on the table. Then it hit me.

We had Monday off because Sunday was New Year's Eve. The surprise channeled through me. I had been swept up with the lawsuit and Edward's usual shenanigans that the upcoming holiday had escaped my notice. Alice hadn't even mentioned it and my suspicions grew when I tried to figure out why. The girl never turned down a party or big event, especially on a holiday. Then I immediately felt guilty for suspecting everyone near and dear to me of planning conspiracies. Then again, it was Alice. She had more tricks than a magician on _Red Bull_.

Another reason to accept Edward's invitation was to get to the bottom of it all. I drew a heart around my scripty _Yes_ on Edward's note, refolded it, and inconspicuously passed it back under the table while pretending to concentrate on my notepad.

When I was sure the note had made it back to Edward, I chanced a look at his profile as he read my response. His jaw flexed as he fought a smile while trying to maintain his professional mask. A flurry of butterflies awakened in the pit of my stomach. We lawyers were technical to the T. He had my answer in writing this time.

No turning back now_._

The wave of butterflies escalated in bouts all weekend as Sunday night approached ever closer. I was antsy and breathing erratically as I flung things aside in my closet. Alice was on her way. I had informed her of the change in date and she squealed happily to offer her beauty services once more, not caring in the least that it was New Years Eve. Again, my suspicions sparked at her seemingly lack of plans but they were quickly snuffed out by my tsunami of butterflies rolling around in my stomach.

After showering and shaving meticulously, I stood in my towel, towering over my clothes. Nothing I owned seemed good enough as I beat the hangers back and forth along the unworthy drabbles of fabric. Just as I was about to rip apart a dress to conduct an emergency fashion fix-up, Alice buzzed in.

Three boodle boxes stacked vertically on a wheeled cart trailed her sweet little form at the door. _Thank the universe for Alice Brandon._ I sighed with deep appreciation and pulled her by the arm into my abode of unruly piles of clothing.

"Oh dear…" Alice observed as she carefully stepped over my mess. "You really need me tonight."

"I do!" I admitted, hoping the desperation didn't surface too much in my tone.

She clapped her hands energetically with the brightest smile, displaying all of her little chicklet teeth. "Of course you do! Just think of my kindness for your wedding."

"My what?!"

"Never mind that now," she interrupted, all business. "Okay! We only have two hours so button it Bella. Challenging me every step of the way will only hurt you."

I couldn't help grinning as I obediently seated myself in front of her in the bathroom to give her center stage. She brushed and dried my hair, styling it into long shining tresses that curled at the ends to frame my face and hung down my back. Before we moved onto make-up we had to decide on what I was wearing so everything would match and accent together.

"You have so many beautiful dresses, Bella," Alice commented as she went through every little thing in the closet, making mental observations and decisions along the way. Toward the back of the closet she finally pulled out a dress I had forgotten about and hadn't worn since last year for one of the company's charity banquets for a local orphanage. "What about this one?" She held up a light blue satin dress. The length was just above my knees with spaghetti straps. "I think it would look ravishing it if were strapless. Just a few adjustments…" she trailed off in her calculations.

Alice's idea suited me and my spirits brightened with relief and excitement. _Bless her._ She kept my make-up minimal in the way I preferred by keeping the powders light, accentuating my eyes with liquid liner and mascara and giving my lips tinted gloss. I sat back and let her work happily in her little beautifying universe. Breaking out one of the boodle boxes of sewing tools, I winced as she cut the satiny straps off. After she sewed the seams to clean it up, I shimmied it on in the bathroom with my lacey undergarments I had picked out.

"It would really help to have a bigger chest right about now," I remarked, adjusting the strapless bra.

Alice barged into the bathroom to assist me with the _ladies_. I gasped as she reached down my front and pulled each one up before pressing the bra tighter against my ribcage. I turned to look at my reflection in the mirror. "Oh wow…that's quite a bit of cleavage… You didn't have to manhandle them though."

She smirked. "Well they'll certainly be _manhandled_ now."

I snorted and draped a delicate silver chain around my neck. I preferred to keep things simple tonight. I slipped on the matching heels that I had bought with the dress and turned. "Well what do you really think?"

Alice beamed at me, her things already packed up in her trolley wagon beside her. "I get an A+. Bella, you look simply wonderful and actually excited to go out. This isn't going to be your usual boring blind date."

"And what are you doing tonight Alice? It's New Years Eve and you haven't mentioned a single thing about your plans."

"Oh…" Her eyes blinked away from mine for a moment, thinking of her response. "Just little plans of dinner and dancing with Jasper. No parties for us this year. I'm sure it'll be similar to your night…" she jabbered quickly, casually waving off the importance of her plans with the back of her hand.

Interrupting us, the doorbell rang, igniting another wave of nervousness in my gut.

"I'll get it. You get your coat," Alice offered, making her way to the buzzer and the door.

I hurriedly transferred my things of wallet, phone, lip-gloss, keys, etc. into my fancy satin purse and threw my coat on. After giving myself a last quick re-check in the mirror, I walked to the door to find Alice and Edward speaking quietly.

I cleared my throat loudly.

Alice giggled clumsily and waved goodbye to us, her cart wheeling behind her with rubber squeaks and thumps down the stairs. I would have laughed her off if my attention hadn't been immediately snatched by Edward's presence. His eyes were bright and focused, the intensity of his gaze almost unnerving me.

I offered him a nervous smile. _It's time to put my best foot forward._

"It's all right Bella. It's just me." He gave me a tight-lipped smile that curved up at the corner. I was stunned for a moment by its seductive quality and warmth. "Ready?" I accepted the hand he held out to me, getting swept up in his freshly showered, clean shaven, cotton and vanilla scent. As he drew me to him he whispered in my ear. "You look amazing…"

"Thank you," I breathed.

Edward was the perfect gentleman. He opened the passenger door to his Jaguar for me and waited as I carefully got in before shutting it. He walked around the front of the car with quick grace rather than impatience. The air rushed in with his presence and the atmosphere instantly charged between us. We both glanced at each other and exchanged little smiles again like fools.

He shook his head with a laugh and switched gears before peeling out onto the road. We both acknowledged silently that this was new for us. It was strange and refreshing to be cordial and hesitant with one another. I opted for random conversation to break the silence before it tensed. "Did you finish everything for the Daniels case this weekend like you wanted to?"

"I did. Let us forget about work tonight, hmm?"

I nodded in agreement. Edward was right. Tonight was about us, not work or anybody else. Whatever was between us, we were trying to test the waters further and to see how far it could go. Having a history as bickering coworkers, spending time in the same social circle, and thick sexual chemistry wasn't exactly a formula for a committed relationship. Neither of us threw caution to the wind.

"Where are we going?"

"From what I'm told, it's one of the best."

"How 'bout a hint?" I asked teasingly. I didn't want to revert back to silence.

He gave me a sidelong glance. "It's a place that I know you like."

Well that threw me off even more. I scrunched my brows in concentration. Surely it wouldn't be the Chinese food place we went to for lunch frequently. I mentally listed off all the places we had ever eaten at. None of them seemed to fit with our fancy attire. I began getting a little worried and shook my head, as if the action would literally jostle my thoughts.

He broke out into a full smile. "Don't hurt yourself over it. We'll be there shortly."

"You're always so vague…" I said with a fake pout.

He barked a laugh and shook his head again, chuckling quietly.

A few minutes later we pulled into a parking lot by the waterfront. As soon as I saw the sign on the building, realization hit me. The Palisades Waterfront restaurant was where he was taking me for dinner.

It was the restaurant I'd briefly recommended to him the first night we'd ever met. The night of our one-night stand. I gasped, overwhelmed that he remembered such a frivolous subject in idle conversation with a woman he'd hardly known at the time.

He pulled over to the valet right in front of the entrance before turning his torso to face me. "I remember everything you say, Bella," he said simply and got out of the car. He greeted the valet, the man gave him his ticket number and Edward tipped him generously.

He joined me at the entrance and I continued to stare at him in wonder as he guided me through the door with his hand on my lower back. The simple touch sent a flutter through me. We were shown to an intimate table next to the window overlooking the waterfront and docked boats. Further out was the city strip at night, smattered with lights that glittered along the waters reflection. It was stunning.

I barely noticed a waiter removing my coat as I gazed out the window. As the waiter pushed my chair in for me to sit, I heard a sharp intake of breath. I turned to Edward quizzically. "Is something wrong?" I met Edward's green eyes, so wide and staring. I really hoped my chest hadn't popped out of my dress or anything.

He looked wounded in the chest. "You look…Bella, you look incredible..." He cleared his throat self-consciously—very uncharacteristic for Edward.

I mentally pumped my fist for Alice. Edward slipped his coat off too, revealing a black buttoned down collared shirt, opened at the throat and tucked into black slacks that patterned exceedingly thin gray pin stripes. His belt completed the picture, buckled neatly around his trim waist. _Classy._

As usual, he smirked when he caught me ogling.

I cleared my own throat and pretended my eyes simply continued its path to perusing the menu. We listened to the specials politely but when it came to order drinks I got tongue-tied. Usually I was non-committal and ordered my own glass of wine but I wasn't sure what to say. I let Edward lead. He was all charismatic smiles to the waitress as he ordered a bottle of _Kenwood's_ Sauvignon Blanc and our salads.

After the waiter left to put in our orders and brought us our wine, Edward cleared his throat again but didn't start any conversation. I look a sip of my wine for something to do. The liquid calmed my nerves a little and burned on its way down, leaving a tart finish in my mouth. It felt rather nice. However, the more Edward looked over my appearance appreciatively, the more it undid my attempts to quell the nervousness. I think for once we were both at a loss for words. _How unlike us._ I smiled at the irony of it all.

"Does something amuse you?" The quiet charm was back and radiating from him.

"It's just…we're not arguing are we?"

"Would you like to argue?" His smirk instantly curled up on one side and his eyes gleamed.

"Well no, but we're not exactly talkative either," I miffed and played with the stem of my wine glass.

"If a person doesn't display good conversation, I would rather argue over something interesting." He sipped his wine, staring amusingly at me over the rim.

"Are you saying I'm incapable of good conversation?" I wasn't sure if I was teasing or annoyed.

"Is that why you always argue with me?"

"You purposely instigate me."

"I—"

"You—"

We stopped speaking abruptly and stared, waiting to see what the next person's move would be. We eyed each other the way felines do right before a fight. As soon as Edward's smile spread across his face, I felt my own expression mirroring his. Then the salads arrived, officially breaking our eye contact.

We dug in slowly, munching thoughtfully. Edward took another generous sip of his wine and my vision caught his moving neck muscles once again when he swallowed. _Why the hell was that so hot?_ I was officially losing my mind with this man. I couldn't even understand my physical reactions to him—no wonder I had had no chance of controlling them.

For further distraction, my gaze wandered around the beautiful restaurant with its dauntingly high ceilings and massive pillars staggering throughout the room. It had stylish cozy furnishings with rich carpets, mosaic tiling, and modern décor lighting set at a romantic dim. This really was one of the high-end places to eat in the city with a spectacular view off the waterfront.

"Do you approve of my dining choice?" he asked knowingly, observing my attention with the room.

A warm feeling settled over me. "You remembered…from that first night at Monty's…" I said above a whisper.

He leaned forward. "Yes…"

"It seemed so trivial at the time when I mentioned it to you." It was difficult to not let my sight wander but I forced myself to meet his gaze.

"You also remember telling me such a…_trivial_ thing." He had a point. "I asked you that night if you wanted to have dinner with me here."

"Is this about always getting what you want? Another conquest?" I asked gently.

"Is it so bad if it's _you_?" He held my eyes with his stare, probing me for my answer.

"I… No. I don't know."

Our empty salad plates were removed and replaced by our main course. I had ordered the roasted duck and Edward the Dungeness crab. I could feel my eyes widen at the sight of it, large and cooked and resting on its back with its jointed limbs tapered north. The crab looked gruesome as it did delicious.

He immediately started dismembering and cracking its joints open. I didn't want to be caught staring rudely and brought my attention back to my duck. Our atmosphere was quite contrasted between my quiet slicing and chewing over Edward's loud twisting and cracking. I started giggling quietly to myself, desperately trying to hold in my amusement. There's nothing like laughing at your date to get the night rolling toward disaster.

Edward looked up from the dreadful, delicious creature with a confused smile. "Are you happy with your dish?"

Once again, my body had its own agenda and my giggles spurted into tumults of laughter. "Are you happy with yours?!" I choked out between laughs. "That's going to take you a long time to eat."

"Yup," he answered with a dashing smile and brought a crab leg to his mouth. His lips enclosed around the edge for a moment and then he dislodged the crabmeat with his teeth. _What I wouldn't give to be that crab leg!_ I had no idea something like that could be so…erotic? I had a fleeting fantasy to dump his little bowl of butter onto my leg just to have him nibble me like that.

At this point I had forgotten all about my roasted duck and zeroed in on Edward's manner of eating. His fingers held the cracker, positioning it at certain angles. Then with some pressure, his knuckles flexed to loosen the meat. His fingers delicately pried off the shell and then…my favorite part. He brought the piece to his mouth and grabbed the flesh out with his teeth.

I vigorously shook the absurd thoughts from my head and focused back to my plate. What the hell was I doing? Oh right, eating. Just as I was in the middle of composing myself, he spoke.

"Bella…"

I look up to see that he had stopped eating with one crab leg raised between his fingers. "Would you like to try some?"

I must have nodded or _something_ similar because he began the process again of cracking and pinching the shell with those fingers… My cheeks were unreasonably warm and the wine wasn't helping. He fingered out a piece of crabmeat and dragged it through the dish of butter. He held it up to my face, waiting.

I locked eyes with him as I slowly leaned forward and grabbed the small bit of crabmeat with my lips. I slid my tongue along his finger to get the rest of the butter that had trickled down too.

His breathing picked up and his eyes darkened slightly with arousal. "More?"

I must have nodded again, trapped in his eyes and responding to every subtle movement and mannerism of his. The dim lighting of the room and the privacy of our table next to the window supported the enclosure of our bubble.

He pinched more meat out of the cracked leg and waded through the butter before offering it to me again. I noticed there was more butter dripping on his fingers this time and wondered how intentional that was. My lips parted to accept the offering and I watched his expression change from under my lashes as I licked the extra butter off his two fingers. A small groaning sigh escaped his lips and my face colored.

This continued several times and I wasn't sure I'd be able stand later with weakened knees and the growing ache between my legs. When one is sexually frustrated, every little attention seems like the world. How much more tightly could a woman be wound up and still survive?

Edward had been feeding me for at least twenty minutes. "Aren't you hungry?" I asked breathlessly.

"Yes…" he said, cracking open another leg. I doubted he was referring to the crab when he looked at me with such dark intensity.

I grabbed hold of a passing waiter by the shirt. "Can we up the AC in here?" I was desperate to cool down or I'd be lunging at my date over the table soon.

"Yes, it's hot in here," Edward said smoothly.

"Stifling," I added.

Seeing our flushed complexions, the waiter complied with a grin and left to do our bidding. Edward finished the rest of his crab, which wasn't exactly helping me either. The cracking, his fingers. The meat, his teeth. The butter glistening on his lips. I was his audience once more, slowly turning into the roasted duck I had ordered right in front of him. It was a blessing when our plates were removed and replaced by a complimentary plate of fruit and truffles. Chocolate paled in comparison with Edward tonight. He was a walking, breathing aphrodisiac.

I went for the fruit with a trembling hand. My hormones were bubbling, loosening me at the seams. Edward was flawless and tidy in his crisp black shirt and carefully crafted hair, enjoying a truffle with a satisfied grin. I'd never met a man who liked chocolate as much as Edward did.

I tore my eyes away and bit into a cube of cantaloupe melon. With even more contrast to Edward's tidiness, a trickle of the juice escaped down my chin. All of a sudden he sat up eagerly and leaned forward, startling me. His gaze was positively smoldering as he zeroed in on my lips and chin. He paused briefly in concentration and I was about to ask him what hell he was doing.

My lips parted to speak but he stopped me by whispering, "Don't move…" He closed the space between us and licked the path of juice from my chin up to my bottom lip.

My eyes slid shut as he touched his lips to mine. I sighed in contentment as my lips roamed over his mouth, tasting the chocolate laced with melon. He was so soft and delicious and my body was aching for him. I was about to urge his face closer with a hand when we were interrupted.

"Ahem." We broke apart, slightly dazed as the waiter slid the bill toward Edward and abruptly left in embarrassment, mumbled apologies trailing behind him. "So sorry sir" and "take all the time you need".

We sat back in our chairs to regulate our breathing as Edward paid the bill.

"What was that for?"

"I recently acquired a taste for cantaloupe," he answered, reaching for a cube of melon distractedly. He anxiously chewed it looking fairly hot and bothered.

_Well it's about time! _

It was downright refreshing to see that I wasn't the only one sitting here having hot flashes long before my age permitted.

Putting his money clip into his pocket, he stood up and lifted my coat that hung on the back of the velvet chair behind me. "Are you ready to go?" he asked, holding it out for me to put on.

"Where are we going?" I was puzzled but slipped my arms through the sleeves anyway.

Adjusting my coat onto my shoulders, he leaned in and spoke softly into my ear. "The night is far from over…"

_Cryptic again…_ I turned my head to peer at him. The light flush had faded from his cheekbones but his eyes were glittering. I wasn't sure what he was up to this time, but I found myself surprisingly excited for whatever he had in store.

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**If you'd like to know the inside joke about the cantaloupe juice, it's in the IHYKM Outtakes, Chapter 1 – which is posted under my stories :) **

**Also a reminder, the reviewreply system on FFn is through PMing. If you have disabled Private Messaging on your profile settings, I will not be able to reply to any of your questions and comments. Just sayin!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Song for this chapter: **_**Help, I'm Alive by Metric.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight……………..just a ducky number six**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word." – Mata Hari_

**Chapter Seventeen**

I did my best to keep up with Edward's stride. Having him guide me with his fingers resting lightly on my lower back wasn't helping with my weak-knee problem.

When the valet brought around his sleek Jaguar and we bundled inside, Edward turned to me. "Bella I…" He paused, his face carefully solemn. He cleared his throat, not meeting my gaze right away and I thought perhaps I did something wrong. "I don't know what came over me, licking you like that in public."

My own embarrassment started to creep in. I thought more about his warm tongue on my skin rather than the decency of it all. "If you hadn't, I probably would have…" I admitted with warmth seeping into my face as I recalled how I'd wanted to lunge across the table at him not long ago.

Upon hearing my confession, his steady gaze swept over me and interestedly leaned closer, contemplating the truth of my words. Did he not believe how utterly attracted I was to him? My breathing hitched slightly, the confines of the car becoming more noticeable as Edward sucked me into his bubble again, his thoughtful, intense eyes dazzling me.

A car honked behind us and we both jerked back to our seats, startled by the noise as the embarrassment flooded the tension again. Edward's solemn expression slipped back into place as he shifted gears and peeled out of from the restaurant.

We drove through several intersections, carefully keeping our eyes straight ahead on the road. Eventually my curiosity overcame the silence. "Where are we going now?" I asked tentatively, reining in my anxiousness. Was he taking me home? I didn't want our date to end unless he spent the night with me…

"Well, I originally planned this dinner for Friday but I would also like to celebrate New Years with you tonight. If you'd like…"

I smirked, watching him from the corner of my eye. "I wouldn't want to throw a wrench in your plans."

"I'll take that as a yes."

He didn't answer my original question but I let it go. He'd done so much already and we were civil tonight. _Happy._ He parked down the street from our destination, sliding the Jaguar into the tight space, effortlessly. It displayed a quiet confidence within him, so very unlike his usual arrogance. Perhaps it was his smooth precision and the way his hands moved over the steering wheel and stick… Who knew parallel parking could be so hot?

Edward opened my door for me and gestured to a tall skyscraper. It was refined and chic and protruded amongst the city buildings. Colored lights were cast high and low, lighting up the geometric arches of its stylized architecture. My eyes widened at the sight.

"Oh my God, it's…"

"Yes…" He smiled smugly and drew me close to speak low near my ear. "The Colombia Tower Club, the tallest building in Seattle. Not only does it have a rooftop lounge but it also gives a three-sixty degree view of the entire city." I was amazed that Edward really thought about these details and his standards were _high_.

Edward kept me close as we entered the building. The lobby hummed with excitement and the warmth settled over us, contrasting the cold air outside. We checked our coats and squeezed into the crowded elevator, glancing at each other with hesitant smiles. With barely enough room as it was, a short pudgy man knocked into me and I fell into Edward, my cheek pinned against his chest. Unable to wiggle free, I tried to keep my trembles under control as I felt the vibrations of his chuckle and the formidable lean muscles of his frame. _Round two._

The doors parted to reveal the largest, most decked out rooftop lounge I'd ever seen. I righted myself and rose up on my tip toes to get a better look while Edward continued to appear highly amused.

There were two bars on opposite sides of the room and one outside on the patio. Large, plush couches and shiny chestnut tables were peppered in clusters and a string of hanging lights outlined the patio with staggered heat lamps. People mingled throughout, by the bars, sitting intimately on couches, and dancing outside to the music overhead.

"This is really wonderful, Edward. You have very good taste…" I commented as we pushed out of the elevator with the other couples.

"Would you like to dance with me?" He held out his hand, waiting for me to take it.

His face was intent on mine with no sign of teasing. His genuine look seemed so familiar, tickling my brain. When I didn't respond his eyebrows rose slightly, completing the picture, the final piece solidifying my memory. It was the spitting image of him asking me to dinner that first night we met. _Would you like to go to dinner with me there sometime?_ That part of him, sweet and open interest appeared for a moment through his usual smirking mask.

He looked just as sincere then as he did now, but I'd thought it was a charming pick-up line. To see that same expression slip through for a short moment was unnerving. Why should he look at me like that months ago, a stranger at Monty's? What had seemed like empty words of flattery were now filled with wanting and caring. And my heart swelled and ached all at once. Part of me wished I'd said yes to him months ago but I also knew that would have been a mistake. I would have dated and toyed with him, slept with him and never called him back. But I _knew_ him now. Despite whatever he thought of me that first night, he still wanted me…

I took his hand wordlessly, still letting it sink in. We walked outside to the patio while my mind went into overhaul of questions and speculation. Edward hadn't known anything about me that first night but… What had he seen in me? How did he feel?

He pulled me to him and we danced cheek-to-cheek. Well, only in theory. Even with my heels on, the top of my head only came up to Edward's chin. I inhaled at his neck, letting the vanilla, soap, and his musky male scent blanket my senses. I wished I could somehow bottle his scent and keep it with me for always. Then again, why not just keep Edward?

Despite his arrogant, argumentative nature, he was _charming_. I continued to notice how all the women at work wanted him and a few men did too. Married or single, it didn't matter; everyone was enthralled by him. I saw him for more than his dashing appearance and in there lay much more to learn. I'd felt very connected with Edward in a lot of ways yet we were still at odds with one another. But perhaps the way we clashed showed how similar we really were. I wanted to know more.

"What is this between us?" I asked into the collar of his shirt.

He angled his head, speaking toward my ear. "Do you always ask this on first dates?" I heard the smile in his voice.

"Please…don't do that," I laughed softly.

He didn't answer right away but sighed, his breath brushing the top of my hair. "You're unlike any woman I've ever met."

"I'm assuming that's a good thing since we're here…" I couldn't help some of the sarcasm seep into my tone.

He held me more firmly and my heart sped up. "You've become much more to me than a conquest," he answered quietly. He twirled me out slowly, looking directly into my eyes. "You can't deny this chemistry between us any longer…"

He gently spun me back into his arms I let myself be close in his warm presence, leaning my head against his chest. A sense of balance settled between us and it occurred to me that this was probably the first time we had ever been this relaxed with each other. I kept my other inquiries at bay as we slow danced in silence to the mellow jazz tempo, reveling in this new feeling.

"May I cut in?" a deep familiar voice spoke behind me.

Edward's arm tensed at my waist.

We slowly broke apart to see Emmett standing beside us in a clean snappy suit and grinning. He gave us a wink and Edward relaxed slightly. Did he feel threatened by Emmett or something? I thought his behavior was strange not only for being a hot shot lawyer, but because he was…well, Edward Cullen.

"Emmett! What are you doing here?"

A high voice chirped from my shoulder. "You really think we wouldn't see you at all on New Years Eve?"

I turned around further. "Alice! What..." Emmett and Jasper started laughing at my bullfrog-like expression. Everyone was dressed up for the occasion and Jasper was already nursing his beer. I wondered how long they'd been here for and if they observed how intimate Edward and I had been dancing.

"Honestly, I didn't know what was up with all of you. Especially you, Alice." I eyed my friend skeptically.

"Yeah well…we wanted you to have a pleasant evening." Her eyes flickered to Edward but it didn't go unnoticed by me. She turned back to me, smiling like the cat with the cream. "I hope we're not bombarding on your night."

"Not at all…" I said unconvincingly and glanced at Edward with raised brows.

He smiled and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "They were adamant about seeing you. I suppose I can give you up for a bit." He sighed dramatically and Alice smirked.

"So am I going to get a dance or what?" Emmett whined, impatiently shifting his feet in place.

I laughed as Emmett grabbed my hand and led me further out onto the patio, startling a few dancing couples in our path. Still perplexed by Edward's reservations, I shot him a wink from over my shoulder, hoping to reassure him. He paused in his small talk with Alice and gave me a tiny lopsided smile.

It was nice dancing with Emmett even though he wasn't as graceful as Edward, but we managed to sway a little. "It's really wonderful to see you tonight Em," I started cheerfully.

"You too. I never thought I'd catch you on a date that you enjoy. And you look fantastic tonight."

"You clean up well yourself," I teased.

"This old thing?" he joked, referring to his suit which I assumed was new. I'd never seen him wear it before.

"I think Rosalie's refinement is rubbing off on you."

We chuckled together.

"Well if you and I weren't involved tonight, you know you'd be my date. It's tradition."

I scoffed. "Yes, right after midnight you'd disappear with a sweet young thing and we'd talk about it over New Years Day breakfast."

He howled in laughter at that.

"And I'm not involved…" I added.

"Sure sure." He rolled his eyes. "Any guy would be lucky to have an ounce of your attention, even for just a dance. Edward seems like a good guy… Of course, if he hurts your feelings in any way I'll have to beat him up." I narrowed my eyes at him. "What? It's my right as best bud." And he flashed me his teeth in a brilliant smile, dimples and all. "Plus, I sorta already did…"

Well no wonder Edward was uneasy when Emmett initially approached us. "Oh jeez, what did you say?" I sighed tiredly but was concerned once again by Emmett's papa bear methods.

"Nothing you need to know about. It's a guy thing." He chuckled blackly and I laughed nervously, shaking my head.

"Real nice, Em." Nothing I'd done had scared off Edward thus far, I doubted Emmett could accomplish as much just by pounding his chest, the way men do.

"Speaking of your involvement, where is Rosalie?"

"She's around, socializing." He got that soft look in eyes and his dimples deepened. "Did I ever tell you about the time I brought her to my gym?" I shook my head. "Well, it was part of our early dating, ya might say. I asked her to wear something casual." He chuckled again. "She was confused by it, probably thinking it was a date at the movies or something."

"Sounds like you just wanted to show her off to your coworkers Emmett Chase." He smiled ruefully. "Oh my… you gave her one of your work-out training sessions too..."

"Damn right. I'd show her how to work a machine and caught her staring at me. It wasn't the most glamorous of dates I'm sure she was used to but… we really worked up a sweat that day," he added with a laugh.

"Wow, I can't imagine Rosalie Lawrence laboriously working weights for you, but I have to say I'm impressed with your unconventional skills of wooing." He laughed again and we almost tripped over each other's feet.

"Ya know Em, I kind of like when you share things with me about you and Rose…I didn't think I would but, well I like being in the loop again with you…"

"I thought you didn't like hearing about _your boss_."

I observed his elated smile and bright eyes. I hoped I never looked that ridiculously love sick but I was happy for him. He didn't need my approval and I didn't want him tiptoeing around me either. I didn't want to grow apart from Emmett, the thought saddened me too much.

"Nonsense. You found your equal and are doomed to have a glazed expression pasted on your face for years to come. I would never blame you for that."

We laughed some more and I had a feeling Emmett was practicing his slow dancing skills on me for a future dance with Rosalie but I didn't mind at all. After a while longer, I glanced at my wristwatch on the hand securing Emmett's broad shoulder.

"It's a half-hour to midnight. We should probably meet up with the others."

We found the rest of the group at the patio bar chatting and drinking. Edward was speaking with Jasper but met my eyes instantly as we neared. I sat next to Alice, using an order of my drink as an excuse.

"What's your plan tonight…" I asked sharply under my breath.

Alice looked up at me in all her innocent glory. "Really Bella, I always do what's in your best interest."

I kept my voice low. "You could have at least let me in on your plans. I thought you were partying without me tonight."

"I thought it was best that you enjoyed your date with Edward to the fullest. If you relied on escaping later with your friends, you might not have given the night a chance. And, I see you're still here, which means you had no intention of skipping out and going home early."

"Hmm, you do know me well." My eyes darted around the room briefly. "I could technically still slip out. There is a hole in this plan of yours."

"But you won't. It's twenty-one minutes to midnight and you wouldn't dare skip out on celebrating with your friends in any case." Crap, she had me again. "Edward is our friend too ya know…"

"You don't find him…smug? Arrogant? Difficult?"

She laughed out loud. "Oh sure, but its all just fun and teasing. Really Bella, sometimes you are far too serious."

I looked down at her in surprise, hearing Alice make all of this seem completely nonchalant and carefree. How could I even begin to describe to her my clashing ways with Edward and his with me? I couldn't. I couldn't explain the chemistry I had with him. It hadn't always been light and fun, but it was powerful.

She nudged me playfully in the ribs. "I'm glad you made it through the night Bella," she remarked with a smirk. "You know I'll want details..."

"Aww Alice not tonight. I don't even know where to begin."

"Well let's start off with what you ordered then."

"Umm, Edward ordered whole crab…" I felt my face grow warm.

Her nose wrinkled slightly. "Really? What an awkward dish to eat on a first date."

I recalled him slowly pulling it apart and feeding me. "You haven't seen the way Edward eats crab. It's…kind of, well I've never seen anything like it Alice." I was becoming flustered and Alice didn't look convinced.

"Well what did you order?"

I thought back to our dinner again but all I saw were Edward fingers and lips flash in my mind. "Ya know, I can't even remember…" I replied distractedly.

Alice laughed again and glanced at her watch. "Yikes! It's twelve minutes to midnight, we'd better get on the dance floor to ring in the New Year!" She threw back the rest of her drink and hopped off her seat, flitting to Jasper's side. His conversation with Edward was cut off as he got swept away by his girlfriend's exuberance.

Emmett and Rosalie were already dancing and I found myself alone with Edward. All of a sudden my heart was pounding heavy in my chest. He smiled slightly and we joined halfway before silently gliding into the crowd of drunk and gleeful dancing couples. Edward drew me to his chest, a bit roughly, but all I noticed was a flutter travel through me at the unexpected force of impact.

He leaned his head down to my ear. "You're not planning on running off before the stroke of midnight, are you?"

"This isn't a fairytale…" I stated with my usual practicality, feeling nervous again. He laughed softly and held me close. In about seven minutes I would be celebrating the New Year with him. Not Emmett or a fling. Edward Cullen. It was just a date right? It felt much more important like the final hill to climb, teetering on the cusp of a fresh slate or a new sunrise. It was daunting to put the New Year in that perspective.

"Any New Year's resolutions?" Edward asked as if reading my mind.

I thought about it for a moment but came up empty. "I haven't contemplated it much."

"I can think of several for you." I heard that light teasing in his voice that usually accompanied his smirk.

I lifted my face to look at him with narrowed eyes. "Like what? You think I should go skipping down the street with you?" Wait, I had already done that… "Walks on the beach, picnics in the park, a life of easy mundane living?"

He laughed without humor. "I certainly hope not. I do throw a killer picnic, but if you ever stopped arguing with me, I would say you already resigned yourself to a mundane life."

He twirled me out and spun me back into his arms energetically, as if to prove how unconventional and exciting life could be with him. It jump-started my own feisty disposition.

"Can't you just be agreeable?"

He hugged me to him before spinning me out again and dipping me. He held me in his arms precariously as he leaned closer, balancing me at his mercy. "You simply want me to agree to your terms and I won't do that."

He whirled me upright, the movement adding to my increasingly flushed complexion. "Do you know what your problem is Bella?"

"I don't think pointing out my flaws is the way to flatter your date…" I was getting annoyed with him again.

Ignoring my comment he said, "You can't get past your own pride to see what's really between us." With a final twirl he pressed me to his chest.

My breasts smashed against him, my face still warm. I was flustered, trying to grasp my bearings and retort. "I…" His eyes softened, focusing down on me, and his gaze wandered from my chest to my face repeatedly. I didn't know what to say to him, but I wanted to kiss him badly.

We stood still, the dancing crowd starting to swallow us into their excitement. The area buzzed loudly and the New Years countdown from ten began.

_Ten!_

"And what about your resolutions?" I asked him hurriedly.

_Nine!_

"I think you know what it is," he answered simply.

_Eight!_

"I still hope you'll try to be more agreeable..."

_Seven! _

"And where would be the fun in that?"

_Six!_

He moved closer, inches from my face, and his eyes darkened with need.

_Five!_

"Are you going to kiss me?"

_Four!_

"Do you want me to kiss you?" He fingers traveled along my jaw and my breath hitched.

_Three!_

"Do you want me to want you to kiss me?"

_Two!_

"Be quiet Swan and let me…"

_ONE!_

He pulled me to him as my breath caught, capturing my mouth with his. My lids slid shut as the cheers of _HAPPY NEW YEAR! _grew muffled like we had suddenly been submerged under water. Edward's lips were gentle, soft and fitting against mine naturally. I felt his other hand glide up to the opposite side of my face, lightly tugging me closer into his heat.

Our chemistry magnified, rushing to the surface within our embrace. It was almost palatable.

His tongue lightly touched my lips, quietly charming them open. It swept across mine so utterly sensual that a soft moan escaped me. After a moment he withdrew lazily, and kissed me once more before pulling away.

My eyes fluttered open as the blasting cheers, kissing, and howling around us assaulted my ears.

Every kiss I'd ever shared with Edward had been different thus far. Rough, desperate, passionate, tender, and sensual. I met Edward's gaze with wide eyes, startled by the noise and the spell that had been weaved over me seconds ago. How long had the kiss actually lasted? It seemed much longer than a few seconds.

Edward looked a bit dazed himself and then the smallest lopsided smile graced the corner of his lips as he stared down at me. "You're very dangerous to me when you look like that." His voice was laced with husky tones.

"Like what…?" I asked breathlessly, leaning into him as he took me in his arms to continue our slow dance.

He pressed his cheek against my temple. "Your eyes sparkle, your skin is flushed, and you're wearing that dress..."

My breathing quickened and grew heavier against his chest. I didn't think I'd ever felt more desired by a man.

"But that's besides the point…" he murmured into my hair.

"It is?" I squeaked and cleared my throat. How could a man think of anything else? I knew he wanted me badly…

"Yes." He grabbed my hand and I followed dumbly, letting him lead us out. I was conscious of every little touch from him and shivered when he assisted me with my coat. It was completely illogical to shiver from the added warmth but his hands lingered a moment longer on my shoulders.

We did some idle chit chat in the car ride to cover the thick crackling energy inside the small interior. Every quiet bit of throat clearing and movement of hands only added to the strained atmosphere that we refused to admit aloud.

He parked his car in front of my building and we walked to the door, Edward silent and me trembling just below the surface. Was he going to show me how _dangerous _I was to him? I mustered my wits and allure, contemplating my angle in order to lead him upstairs. If I was too obvious he would tease me, if I wasn't obvious enough he would try to manipulate me. Perhaps I could refer to our previous conversation while walking backwards into my building and hoping he followed…

I finally looked up to him as we stopped in front of the main door. Our eyes instantly latched onto each other. His hair was blowing slightly in the feather light breeze and his angled cheekbones were pinked from the cold air. I lost my train of thought.

He was so ridiculously attractive that it was almost irritating. I looked away, my thoughts racing to latch onto a subject. But what to say first? I could go with the usual _I had a good time tonight_ or _So, would my dress look magnificent on the floor?_

Edward beat me to it. "Would it be cliché to say I had a good time tonight?"

"Yes. That's horribly cliché for someone so creative, unless you really meant it…" I peeked up at him through my lashes, unsure how sincere he would be. I had a surprisingly wonderful time and I hoped he did too.

He stepped in closer, testing our space. "I mean it."

I blew out a shaky breath. "I had a good time too…" I admitted, wringing my hands together nervously and to keep them from running up Edward's chest.

My gaze lingered over his fine attributes until I reached his smirk. I snapped my eyes back to his, finding his poorly concealed amusement twinkling back at me. I scowled at him, annoyed that he caught me again or rather, that I let myself get caught.

"What did you enjoy most?" he asked, toying with me.

I intentionally shrugged casually and looked at my nails, concentrating on my non-existent manicure. "The food was pretty good."

He moved in closer. "And what did you like most about the food...?"

Continuing my offhanded manner, I said, "Dinner was very pleasurable, but I must admit I was hoping for something more… delectable for dessert." I looked at him pointedly, hoping he'd catch my real meaning.

His eyebrows rose, the smirk still fixed on his face. "You don't enjoy melon?"

"Not as much as you do apparently," I said, remembering again how his tongue had trailed up to the corner of my mouth.

He leaned in closer, his eyes starting to smolder like a gas flame on a stove. "I have a particular fondness for melon. It's very sweet and fresh…" he said in a deeper tone, his breath fogging the air between us. "But I'm very picky about melons." He did a quick sweep of my figure with his eyes.

I looked down at _my_ melons for a moment and he chuckled low. "Not _those_ melons Bella."

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, confused. "Then _whose_ melons do you like?" Was my rack not good enough for him or something?

"I'm not referring to your curves." He looked down to peruse the goods again with one side of his cheek sucked in, fighting a smile.

I folded my arms over the melons no longer in question. "Then what? What kind of melon to you like?" I decided to play along with his game.

He reached up to trace along the length of my arm.

"Mmm…" His fingers moved over my shoulder to carefully play with a strand of my hair.

I shifted closer, putting a hand on his chest and letting my fingertips move in soft playful circles. "With the right kind of attention, your fruit could blossom nicely…" I said, looking up into his eyes. They were serious, blazing, and waiting for me. "But if you don't tend to your fruit, it could go bad." I audaciously pecked him on the lips, teasing him. His expression darkened.

"Well, I don't want my fruit to spoil..." His voice was low and he briefly pressed his lips to mine, mimicking the gesture.

"You want it to stay firm... and sweet..." My lips touched his for a beat longer and I felt his arms slip around my waist.

"Are we still talking about fruit?" he asked above a whisper, staring down at my mouth.

"Well I am..." I lied, slowly licking my bottom lip, knowing it would affect him.

Swiftly, disorientation swept over me and I tried to steady myself against the railing of the stairs but there was no need. Edward had me firmly in his arms, crushing me against him as his mouth overtook mine. His tongue eagerly brushed along my lip before urgently roaming my mouth. He still tasted delicious. His mouth was soft and hot but not entirely rough. He kissed me not like he was exploring but simply knew what he would find and how good it would be. I couldn't catch my breath and after a moment my lips moved clumsily with his until I was able to fall in sync with him.

When I slid my hands along the nape of his neck, I found myself suddenly pressed against the front door with minimal impact, and I was lost to him... Edward's arms were still encasing me, devouring my lips and tongue feverishly. I breathed him in, tangling my hands in his hair, his tangled in mine, crushing me further into his warmth. Our lips kept slanting into each other, our tongues slowly gliding and meeting. His teeth gently grazed my lip before sucking it and kissing me. Barely comprehending this rush of need, I clutched him more firmly to me, one of my legs pressing between his.

He groaned, breathless and low from his throat, his hips leaning into me as his hand began sliding down to my rear. We moaned softly, the fog of our breaths escaping in small gasps.

As he drew my lips between his again, holding me close, I felt him harden against my lower stomach. I sighed with a thrill at the feel of him, realizing how much I was affecting him. I ached for more and angled my hips into his. He instantly responded, rocking into me slightly and I moaned quietly into his mouth. With even more urgency, he wrenched my dress up roughly to mid-thigh, breathing heavy and quick. My other leg wrapped around his calf and my arms were at his neck, keeping him pinned to me. He groaned a sigh, lightly grinding against me again.

I was overwhelmed with so much of his heat and passion slamming into me, the pit of myself brewing hot and flying off with sensations. Knowing we had to get inside but unwilling to part for the smallest moment, I nipped his lip, feeling the smooth skin between my teeth. He hissed and rocked into me again, his lips moving over mine rough and heatedly. My hand traveled down his back and traced around his hip to his belt buckle, silently begging him to come upstairs with the promise of more.

His mouth broke from mine as he grabbed my hand, preventing it from touching his waistband. The unwelcome cold air tingled my lips, his face no more than an inch from mine. Our breathing rasped, loud in the silence of the night on my street corner. Our pulses were racing as we stared wide-eyed and lust-driven at each other. Edward's expression almost looked wild, his hair sticking up in every direction. I couldn't imagine what I looked like but I felt unhinged.

He leaned in, hovering just above my lips with his erratic breathing and whispered in a scratched voice, "I… I'll see you tomorrow Bella." He gave me a quick gentle kiss on my unresponsive lips as I stared at him, completely unable to think. "Happy New Years…" His cheekbones were still flushed as he turned away, walking to his car with more speed than grace.

I didn't quite remember him driving off until the silence finally hit me. I was too stunned to move by the onslaught of heightened lust and the cold air now enveloping me. I managed to stumble backwards, unlocking the door and slamming out the night air. I sagged against the other side of the door, my head lolling to the side as I bit back my whimper and attempted to calm my racing heartbeat.

It all happened so fast and I was still too stunned to process most of it. This was the best date I'd ever had in my entire life and then I went and threw myself at him. He must have been giving me a sweet goodnight kiss when I clutched him, smothering him with my desperation. This wasn't going to be another one-night stand where I slept with the guy on the first date. I just knew that he felt unbelievably good and I closed my eyes, lightly touching my lips with my fingertips, remembering the feel of him on me.

Was it possible to physically ache for someone?

~/~/~/~

I woke lying belly up on my bed and staring at the ceiling. My mind was lost in a thoughtful daze, replaying the events from the night before. The smiles, the little touches, the heat… It was unnatural for me to feel so engorged with delight and yet, so physically unsatisfied. The "morning after" was completely inverted than my usual skipping down the street after getting the kick without the intimacy.

Knowing the holiday would be short-lived, I took the opportunity to relax in my comfy abode trying to keep my mind from wandering too far. I spoke on the phone with Ang, Renee, and Charlie for a bit and then stretched out on my couch, pleased to finally have time to myself. I found myself restless after awhile, closing a book and flipping through TV channels.

The silence I usually felt comfortable with no longer accompanied me in my personal space. As I pondered what to do with myself, my phone beeped with a text message.

_Happy New Years Day._

I didn't resist replying and felt just a bit thrilled that Edward was thinking of me.

_You took off quickly last night…_

_If I gave you everything you wanted, you would have nothing else to stick around for._

I thought about that. Perhaps his games weren't simply to infuriate me? While I had been testing myself, he was still testing me…

_Likewise. Why do you think I'll never give you the last duck…?_

_One day, I will find it. I have my methods._

_Not even pink handcuffs will make me confess!_

_Still thinking about them are you? _

It was easy to imagine the smirk on his face and the chuckles coming from his lips.

_Not at all._

He didn't respond right away and I stared at the screen of my phone for what seemed like an eternity. My curiosity doubled with each passing second, time moving slower than molasses.

_Don't forget to think about your resolutions Bella._

A relieved sigh flew from my lips and I hurriedly responded.

_I'm not the only one needing an adjustment._

_I'm here in the middle, waiting for my fruit to ripen._

_Ha Ha. Happy New Year Edward._

After that I imagined Edward lounging beside me on the couch with his arm around my shoulders. I wondered if he would like to watch the History Channel, or perhaps a hockey game. Smiling, I even thought how much he would enjoy paid programming of a showroom displaying the newest cars on the market.

Then I frowned as to why I wanted him with me so badly, just to do something very normal that I could be doing on my own. The only man I'd ever sat comfortably with on a couch passing the time with cable was Emmett. It had never held any intimacy though and I found myself longing for what that might be like with Edward…

~/~/~/~

Tuesday morning came quickly and with a cheerful gust of January air.

When the elevators parted, my chest was already light and fluttery, nervous to see Edward and impatient to jump back into the Arthur Daniels case. As I rounded the corner of my office doorway, Edward was already there, sitting at my chair with his legs crossed at the ankles. His head was hidden behind today's newspaper, reading the most recent article of Arthur Daniels' wild allegations.

Hearing me come in, he tilted the paper aside and almost smiled at me, but made no movement to leave. He held his coffee mug in his other hand and took a casual sip.

My senses were tantalized by the sight of coffee and Edward and I slowly drifted toward him. This was a great way to start my day. _Move aside Folgers, the best part of waking up, is Edward in my cup!_

"Hi…" I greeted, putting my bag down next to my desk.

He lightly tossed the paper aside and rose from the chair as I neared.

"Did you have a nice day off?" he asked politely, looking down at me with soft yet guarded eyes.

I nodded, smiling and not really caring about his question, but more interested in just being in his presence. I was going to ask him the same except we just kept staring at each other in a silent standstill with slight smiles. It seemed to be another one of those balanced moments. We were both so headstrong yet… unsure now.

"Good morning!" Alice's sing-song voice bellowed in just before she bombarded our office space. Edward and I stiffened and leaped apart. _Nice warning Alice._ "What a day this is going to be!" She sighed loudly and threw her stuff on her chair in a heap. She continued to chatter on, seemingly oblivious that her normal entrance was an interruption this morning.

My lips tightened, trying not to laugh at seeing Edward's fresh annoyance with Alice. He silently floated back to me with his serious expression fixed in place and lightly traced his finger along my jaw. Just as my lids were about to close like a contented tabby cat, he swiftly departed my office.

Alice flitted in the doorway, calling over her shoulder, "Come on Bella! Meeting in Rose's office this morning," and disappeared too. Still sighing and smiling at Edward's lingering touch, I barely heard a word as I grabbed my notes.

A loud knock in my doorway interrupted my light dreamy haze I turned with a frown to see the flower delivery man with a bouquet in his arms.

"Bella Swan?"

"Yes, that's me," I answered in bewilderment, motioning for him to place the vase on my desk. Did Edward send me flowers? My heart started to swell like a school girl.

After putting the arrangement on my desk he remarked, "Someone must really like you. Lilies and carnations again. Enjoy!" He tipped his hat and left as I located the card with furrowed brows.

Lilies and carnations again? No, it couldn't be…

My heart pounded as I slipped the note out of the tiny envelope and opened it.

_You shouldn't dally outside your apartment, squirrels aren't the only thing out at night. I look forward to seeing you again._

It was unsigned but I knew who it was by the last familiar phrase and my mind reeled. The words echoed from James's first bouquet. I dropped the card like it had burnt my hands, shaken. Why should he contact me after all this time? The shock was still prickling my senses but horror flooded in. Or had he been watching me longer than this sudden reappearance?

I cringed from the unsettling thought and did my best to control my racing pulse, staring at the beautiful flowers that now seemed spitting and venomous. They poisoned my newfound joy and I just had to get rid of them. Hesitantly, I grabbed the vase by the neck and quietly stuffed the arrangement into my wastebasket. Fighting further panic, I pushed them down with more crunching noises and tied the garbage bag off with shaking fingers.

Still not satisfied, I picked up my phone and called the cleaning service for our floor to dispose of the bag. I wasn't sure what to do about it yet but I didn't want anybody finding out, especially Edward.

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**A heartfelt thank you to everyone for the reviews and comments, I appreciate them.**

**Despite her modesty, awesomeness goes to Dollegirl for the hilarious idea about the melon talk in this chappy. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi to everyone and a big welcome to the new readers! Big thanks to Dollegirl for her pre-reading, I struggled with this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight………………….just a ducky number six**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_The Law is reason, free from passion." – Aristotle _

"_Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place." – Ice T_

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Are you going to eat the rest of that?" Edward leaned on his elbows across the table, pointing to my unfinished salad with his fork.

I pushed the plate toward him. "Help yourself."

Edward dug into my half-eaten plate, munching happily. He really liked crunchy vegetables and I couldn't help smiling at his contentment. I also liked watching him eat… I'd never really noticed the way anybody ate their food before—unless it was a bad dinner date where the guy chewed and talked with his mouth open. That was never pleasant. Edward wasn't like that at all and it seemed like whatever he did, fascinated me. The way his white teeth bit down, jaw flexing, lips dragging over the fork, and emitting little hums of pleasure before finally swallowing. Details that used to be unimportant were recently grabbing my attention, yet he was unaware of how he stirred me.

As soon as the holiday ended, we'd been immediately thrown into our busy work schedules once again. We still attempted to squeeze in time for our lunches and as per usual, they were filled with small talk and bickering. Instead of glaring at him, I shot him looks of mock annoyance and in return, his smirks seemed more brilliant, the corners softened by understanding and amusement. It almost felt like we were 'going steady' and it seemed we were a stage away from sharing a chocolate milkshake. Sort of.

I was new to all of this. I was out of my comfortable element because I didn't fully understand the mechanics of relationships. Not that I was in a relationship… However. I understood dating. Wasn't I supposed to get a callback? A second date? Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself.

My worries lessened as his eyes met mine briefly, smiling as he finished off my salad. The directness of it perked my interest. I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't been staring idiotically, absorbed in my thoughts. His smile carried a seductive quality beneath the innocent expression that stopped my thoughts dead and I was unable to resume my inner qualms. It was so sensual that it made my toes curl in my shoes. And then all I could think about was leaving behind the mess at the office just to be alone with him.

_I want a second date. I want a second date!_

"Something on your mind?" Edward asked with his glass of water in hand.

"Um…" He seemed so casual, his question betraying nothing but mild interest, but his eyes were watching me. "Um…" I remembered being much more articulate than this. "Are you ready to leave?" I blurted, lacking my customary finesse.

Edward eyed me for a moment but left it alone. He put his glass down, replying, "Yes, of course. We should get going."

I blew out a breath and switched my attention to my purse and coat. I didn't know how to bring up the subject of another date without it seeming random or desperate. I hoped I hadn't scared him off from our little heated encounter outside my apartment door…

Then I imagined Edward smiling wickedly, alone in his office, congratulating himself on another job well done—taming the 'feistiest woman on the market' as he'd put it. Yet, he'd told me I wasn't his conquest or a freak project, but there was a small part of me that continued to wonder and speculate. He was open about what he wanted—me—but as well as I knew him, so much of him still remained a mystery.

However, I knew I'd been making a lot of bad decisions the last few months so I stayed receptive, waiting to see his next move. We were naturally competitive, stubborn, and opinionated. But he smiled and joked and pecked my lips and that was all. If our workdays hadn't been taxing, I would boldly drag him back to the supply closet.

A few times he'd call me into his office under the pretense of business, but we teased each other and offered hurried kisses as soon as the door shut behind me. We were still playing around with our boundaries too. I never sat on Edward's lap, knowing it would lead to other things right then and there. And I kept wondering what he was really thinking. I was responding to him like he'd hoped and like _I_ wanted, but Edward continued to enjoy the casual interactions in the midst of our working whirlwind.

Iin the quiet moments we stole together for a chance at coffee down at the bakery, sometimes I caught him staring at me with an unreadable expression. He held my gaze for a fraction longer before forcing a small smile, quickly looking away. It was sweet and expectant but I couldn't help feeling that maybe I'd done something wrong.

I was going to ask him about it, but eventually I'd realized something in that look. I was so used to fighting with Edward and having him test me—whether I had understood it at the time or not—he'd been the one to instigate me on any level. There was a pause in our push and pull because he was no longer going to chase my avoidances and drag me back. I'd been so concerned about keeping control, but if I continued to let him call the shots, I would actually be giving him the power. I couldn't keep relying on him to push me.

It was a hard realization for me to swallow.

In the meantime, I was lost under the piling folders and lists and phone ringing. Rosalie's clicking heels were a constant soundtrack to the days, mingled with Jessica's squawks popping in every other hour. People talked over each other, interviewed witnesses, barked orders, answered curtly, and we managed to stamp and print an ever-flowing stream of documents.

By the end of the days my legs were sore from their crouched position, my wrists and neck tired from holding the phone, and my throat dry from trying to talk over everyone to get the simplest of tasks completed.

The one thing that kept my senses alert and on edge was the pricking of James's possible presence nearby. His declaration of my movements having his explicit attention was more than unsettling. It worried me more than I could put into words.

_You shouldn't dally outside your apartment, squirrels aren't the only thing out at night. I look forward to seeing you again._

Before I could prevent it, the shudder traveled down my spine to the pit of my stomach as I unsuccessfully tried to block out the message. I brushed away the gooseflesh on my arms. I didn't feel like going home just yet, and stared at my monitor, unseeing. Thinking it through.

It was more probable that this had been an ongoing problem much to my own unawareness and self-absorption. But it was unlikely that this was a random method of contact. I was no detective, but the flowers were intentional I thought, not as frivolous as most people would deem them to be. The fact that he had sent me the same exact arrangement conveyed that he wanted to see me again, intimately.

With working long hours and a mind swimming with Edward, had I been blinded by James's attention toward me? Had I missed something else along the way?

I couldn't wait to slam his ass with a restraining order. I exhaled a deep breath. I had another problem.

I had to _prove_ it.

I impatiently tapped my pen against the edge of my desk in deep contemplation.

For one, James was dangerous but all I had was an unsigned note, I thought sadly. I had no documentation that he had been following me for the last few weeks. Essentially, I couldn't prove it was harassment or stalking.

The vague message could very well be a friendly warning or a joke, but I knew it for the threat that it really was. We had not parted under the nicest circumstances. I knew I had to give the judge some kind of cause for concern, to show that without a restraining order, the situation could lead to irreparable harm toward me.

I'd never thought of myself as a victim before, someone in need of protection and care.

I had a momentary flash of the horror that night at the museum. The way his fingers had dug into my shoulders, bruising my flesh, scraping my back against the building, and ravaging my mouth to near suffocation left me feeling sick.

I never wanted to feel that shocked and frightened and completely helpless again. _Ever._ The anger rose within me, a deep instinctual ferocity of will to remain unharmed, spread through me.

From that point I went into overdrive. I would have to apply for a long-term restraining order but that meant going through the courts with documentation and _witnesses._ I immediately thought of Edward but shook away the idea. Jasper could vouch for me that night…

I hesitated, my hand poised at the phone. I had one other man in my life that deserved to know.

I dialed Forks Police Department.

It took a short while to finally get a hold of Chief Swan. Deputy Tyler usually answered the small town office, and he liked to small talk with me. I sensed he was noodling for a date when next I was in town, but wouldn't ask me out over the phone right with Chief Swan in the room. And thank God for that.

"Chief Swan speaking…" My father responded into the receiver with his usual gruff manner. He sounded like he was trying to keep warm from the chilly weather but ready for action at any moment. He had a good humor at the station, but he was all business. Just like me.

I eased him into the story of my current situation, knowing he would fly off the handle. I relayed him the general facts and circumstances as a daughter to a parent, and calmed Charlie's spitfire. Once he got the initial reaction out of his system (his concerns for me and his threats toward James), we delicately moved over to specifics. I took notes as a civilian would from the Chief of Police. It turned out that Charlie did in fact have some lowdown connections in Seattle. In high school, I remembered sometimes there were escaped convicts that would flee Seattle and travel as far as to the remote lands of Forks. Charlie had worked with the SPD to capture those criminals on a number of rare occasions.

As embarrassing and uncomfortable as the situation was, I was feeling more equipped to deal with James now, and reminded myself that I was in good standing with the city as a resident and civil employee of Lawrence Associates—despite the one night in jail.

By the end of it all, Charlie blew out a long breath. "You need me to come down there? I could visit for awhile…" he hedged with worry.

I knew he meant as paternal support and my chest tightened with sudden emotion. "Thanks Dad, but I'm okay. I've got my friends here, the company… I won't be by myself." I didn't want to implicate Charlie if there was no reason to yet.

"Fine," he grumbled, reclaiming his Chiefly authority. "You better leave me a message or an email everyday until this all gets settled."

I promised and reassured him of my whereabouts. Just after thanking him he said, "And don't forget to call that number I gave you. He's the best."

First, Chief Swan had a cop he was chummy with at the city station with whom I could request further information while keeping things quiet. I thought it best to look up James's file for any other past charges of sexual harm or harassment.

Aside from wounding his masculinity and defending myself, I wondered if he was solely seeking revenge after all this time. He hadn't so much as sued Emmett and Edward for the beating he'd received just before disappearing. But now, he was fixated on _me_.

The only substantial reason I could think of for James's sudden appearance was my current involvement. Things had been progressing with Edward much to my amazement and —if I was being honest with myself—was the cause of my newfound edgy happiness.

The following day, I confided all of this to Alice and Jasper over lunch. Coincidently, Edward had a business lunch so I took advantage of his absence to snatch at this opportunity. Alice had seen something in James back in November that she hadn't liked and it was something I had failed to see at the time. She had picked up on his quick anger and masked aggression between smiles.

We sat across from each other, idly moving our food around our own individual plates between eating.

"Jasper is a solid witness, he pulled James off of you," Alice cut in after I explained to her and Jasper the necessary information.

Jasper nodded slightly, but looked at me in an unsettling way. "I think Edward would want to know about all of this," he said quietly before taking another bite.

Alice turned back to me, interested in my answer. "I don't want him going after James, he would be putting himself in danger when I could easily use the law to take care of it," I said slowly, looking between the two of them, seeing opinions flicker behind their eyes.

She paused before speaking. "The possibility that Edward would go after him is a testament to his feelings for you."

"It is a patterned behavior of stalkers to hurt the people close to the victim if they become obstacles. I don't want anything to happen to him, or anybody I care about." I sighed and leaned across the table, Alice following suit to give us a bit of privacy. Jasper politely focused on his lunch. "Besides," I said gritting my teeth above a whisper, "I think I've already put Edward through enough. I would rather he just told me his feelings instead of playing the knight in shining armor anyway…"

"Look who's talking," she hissed. "Men need encouragement, Bella. They act tough but secretly, they need assurance." She shook her head with a sigh, her eyes flicking to Jasper. She leaned back to her place setting, continuing in a more normal tone of voice. "Obviously we're worried about you, Bella."

I also leaned back, stabbing my fork into my food. "There's no need. This will get taken care of and—"

"And you'll call me if anything seems strange," she interrupted, looking at me with classic stubbornness that was Alice. "No more disappearing off into the night or I'll have Jasper follow you home after work every day."

"But—" Jasper tried to protest but was cut off by his girlfriend again.

"Or did you forget Law and Psychology 101?" I sighed and sat back, knowing she would continue regardless. "Stalkers are not only seemingly friendly and charming, they are more intelligent than most other criminals. They're obsessive and delusional, but most importantly, persistent in their pattern of surveillance. James is no love sick ex-boyfriend."

"Jeez Alice, a little faith. I know all of this. Why do you think I've been preparing to use every bit of the law against him?"

Jasper leaned forward on his elbows, looking uncomfortable. "That's good Bella, and you know we'll be there for you too. But if someone I cared about hid something like this from me, I'd be pretty fucking pissed." His slanted blue eyes were steady and serious, almost pleading.

"I appreciate that Jasper…" I said gently, equally serious. "I don't want a big deal to be made of this in the office. I will tell Edward, I'm just going to figure out a proper time. But you've got to give me that time to handle it."

"Hmph." Jasper conceded with a nod and a grumble.

Alice turned to him with a sharp eye and a brilliant smile. "Let Bella handle it. It's her deal. It's not our place Jazz…"

"Thanks," I mumbled, pushing my food around on my plate from a sudden lack of appetite.

"And if it means going on a date with Edward every night too, then so be it." Her lips were set in a tight line but the corner twitched.

"You never pass up an opportunity to play matchmaker, do you?"

Jasper and I shook our heads with a smile while Alice giggled wickedly at me.

~/~/~/~

Chief Swan's connections really came in handy. This one in particular I felt sure would be my trump card. I also thought my dad was kind of cool as I examined the little cookie cutter building before me. I had no real specifics on how Charlie knew of this man.

This place wasn't a tall skyscraper or a magnificent piece of architecture. It was a private building that looked more like an elegant townhouse with the foyer as the lobby and the tea room as the waiting area. The waiting room alone was nothing short of grand and uncommon. Bold colors and patterns hit from ceiling to floor. Abstract paintings hung around the walls with the occasional sculpture of two lovers joined.

The secretary sat behind the long desk, her legs crossed at the ankles with modest sophistication as she spoke on the phone.

I busied my attention with the interesting décor splashed around the room while trying to keep my hands from tapping impatiently on my bag.

She finally hung up and turned to me with a cherubic smile. "Mr. St. Jean will see you now."

I lifted my coat and briefcase to follow the little woman into his office.

The mahogany door opened, revealing a very polished man in a dapper suit. "Ah, Miss Swan. Please, make yourself comfortable," he said with a voice like molasses and gestured to an expensive chair across from his lacquered desk.

"Thank you." I nodded politely and gracefully reclined as best as I could do under the circumstances.

Laurent St. Jean was a lucrative, well-established private detective. From what I was told, he ran his business the same as he ran his lifestyle. Everything was clean, efficient, and done with style. Laurent sat back in his high, black chair, crossing his legs, surveying me politely.

He was decked out in his crisp suit of light purple, made of finely tailored silk with jeweled buttons and broadening shoulder pads. Cufflinks and big rings adorned his wrists and fingers.

Noting my observations, he smiled prettily at me through his thick, dark lashes.

"What occasion brings you to my humble offices today?" His purring tones of French accents glided over my eardrums.

I returned his honeyed smile, keeping myself in check. "I'm in need of your explicit services. I came to the best."

He chuckled, seeing through my compliment but appreciating it all the same. I took out my file containing papers and opened them flat on his desk for him to peruse.

He nimbly leaned forward, outstretching a manicured hand of clear, polished nails and tended cuticles, as he reached for the documents. He read silently for a moment, his almond-shaped eyed darting back and forth.

"Hmm… You suspect yourself of being followed," he mused thoughtfully.

"This isn't an average case of adultery," I said firmly.

"Ah, petit chaton you are mistaken! I assure you we can do the job…"

"Of course." I smiled sweetly, waiting patiently for him to finish reading.

His coffee-colored eyes sparkled with interest. "Let us discuss details then. What is it you require exactly and when?" He spoke as though he already knew, but was going through the motions for my benefit.

"I need photographic evidence that this man is following me on a regular basis. I need to see if he is perched at my home or watching my personal whereabouts. I need this within two weeks." From the time the Judge signed the restraining order, it took fourteen days until the actual court hearing would be held. Enough time to track down James for his court appearance too. The police would be notifying him… I cringed in a teeth-grinding way just thinking about the possibility of seeing him again.

Laurent's brows rose to his hairline. "Merde! This is a rush job you are asking for. It is hardly doable… We may not find anything ah…conclusive with that kind of limited time frame."

"But it's not impossible. That's why I came to the best," I reminded him, but he still looked reluctant so I pressed further, softening my manner. "I feel that I'll need something substantial to show the judge or he may deem a restraining order unnecessary. Please."

Laurent's eyes turned to liquid gems as he briefly contemplated me. Then he sighed and smoothed out the fabric of his suit. "It shall be done then. I would not like for a beauté such as you to be…implicated. But my hourly rate goes up to one-fifty."

I leaned forward in my chair, forgetting myself. "Seriously?"

He shrugged, batting his lashes. "If you want the job done for forty an hour you can go to Hammitz across town," He said, referring to his competitor with distaste before regaining his charm.

"After all Miss Swan, this is why you came to the best."

~/~/~/~

With my mind more at ease on account of Laurent's efforts, I was able to focus on things at work. I wanted to tell Edward about what was going on but… I didn't want him to obligate himself into protecting me. I wasn't expecting that from him. And no matter which way I said it in my head, nothing felt right. _Good Morning Edward, by the way James is back and I think I'm being stalked._ Nor did the moment feel right. We were knee-deep in papers, the stress of the lawsuit consuming us. Why add another problem to his plate?

We worked on the floor of his office, papers surrounding us in specific piles. I lay on my stomach with my head propped in one hand, looking at one of our draft reports. The day was over, people were sparse, and we worked into the later hours of the evening. I wasn't really looking at the report in hand, I was pretending. Out of the corner of my eye, I focused on Edward's form, lounging on the carpet like a large cat, highlighter and paper in hands. Just being near him made everything feel nice. _What I wouldn't give to be that floor beneath him..._

"Bella, work," he said, not looking at me.

"How can I work with your presence distracting me?" I asked, sitting up to really focus on him now.

"Your glances are distracting _me_. You're not very subtle." His lip curled up as he proceeded to highlight a few lines of text.

"I... Hmph." I ducked back into my papers with a frown.

After a moment I heard the shift of his body weight and the crinkling of papers.

"Bella."

"Yes?" I asked lightly, staring at the endless paragraphs of State Court jurisdiction. I refused to look at him.

Then I felt him move closer. "Look at me." It was a simple enough request.

"Nope. You're right, we have a lot of work to do," I said casually, uncapping my highlighter.

He chuckled beside me and I looked up curiously, only to meet his lips. Instantly, my lids slid shut. It was a simple kiss, lightly pressing. It lasted only for a moment before he pulled away but it was long enough to stir something good in me.

"What—"

"Your lips are irresistible when you pout," he said softly.

I leaned away, perplexed. "Why does my discomfort always amuse you?"

His gaze lingered on my lips before traveling up to my eyes. From zero to three seconds, his expression had gone from complacent to smoldering. "Everything you do amuses me. Your reactions are never what I expect them to be and I realized how much I like that…" My breath held as his finger traced the curve of my jaw for a moment, toward my lips.

It traveled along my skin very gently with the promise of more. My gaze fell, only to stop at his throat. His top button was open, exposing the small cavity and I instantly became more aware of his body heat radiating from him and his general scent settling over my senses.

His thumb pulled lightly at my bottom lip, igniting a spark of lust. Just remembering the hard lines of his chest sent flutters through me.

I turned my face away and let out a breath, restraining myself from pressing against him.

Startled, Edward retracted his hand. "What is it?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Edward, I can't do this."

When silence answered, I looked at him. His form froze and he stared at me with a solemn expression. "Can't do what?" he asked slowly, carefully.

"Do you have any idea how attracted I am to you? Your teasing is driving me mad!"

I turned away from his spreading grin, regulating my breaths and attempting to organize the documents around me for some semblance of control. All of our intermittent kissing and closeness, New Years Eve, and lunch everyday… Being around Edward was probably going to kill me soon by way of bodily implosion. Every little bit of interaction seemed to set me off now.

"Bella."

I looked at him again, expecting another twinkling smirk or that kiss that stopped all conversation and made me forget my thoughts. He just looked at me, surprised and serious all at once.

"You really meant it. You simply cannot stay away from me anymore..."

"I told you that in the supply closet," I reminded him but was confused by his sudden memory of it.

"Yes, but... I am looking at you now, affected by me—I wasn't even trying." His face was a mixture of relief and amusement.

I dropped my papers, belting out a laugh that ended humorlessly. The all confident Edward Cullen practically radiated sex but was unsure with me. I was beginning to think Alice was right.

"Y_ou_ seem to always be managing just fine Edward," I said, referring to his escape when last on my doorstep.

"I have more self-control than you."

"If I were to really put the moves on you, you wouldn't last an evening," I stated with confidence. "You're used to me running away."

He swallowed hard before his resolve fell into place. "I think I still have you beat."

"Then I hereby place a wager. I bet that you can't remain your usual collected self when the tables are turned."

"I don't see the point. Either way, I win something."

I fought the heat in my cheeks. "I still think its time we settled the score."

Giving me the limelight, he slowly leaned back onto his elbows with the smuggest look I'd ever seen. "And what did you have in mind?"

_Forget his smugness, Swan! Now is your chance, don't screw it up._

"Well… we should probably test this theory outside of the office…"

"What, like a date?" he asked with scrunched brows, seemingly oblivious.

"Are we dating?" The words flew from my lips before I could prevent it.

He gave me a blank stare. "I really don't know Bella, are we?"

I went through everything in my head. We spent a lot time together at work…although we'd rarely done activities outside of work. There was the night with Angela and Ben... We had exchanged Christmas presents, albeit it was a photo and handcuffs. But then we'd had our first date. The bottom line was, I really liked being with Edward and if he couldn't see that...

I snorted and scoffed, unladylike in the extreme. "Of course we are. I—" I caught myself too late, shocked by my own confession. Narrowing my eyes at the amused curl of his lip, I pointed an accusing finger at him. "You tricked me into admitting it!"

"Ridiculous," he replied, trying to keep a straight face.

I threw my highlighter at him, which missed and bounced off the chair leg behind him.

He laughed and leaned close to me again, speaking softly as the proximity of his lips teased mine. "I simply asked what we already knew because I wanted to hear it from _you_." His lips touched mine, lingering over the kiss. My head swam and I thought my insides would melt into him.

The passion hummed in my throat just before he released my hungry lips and slid his hand up the small space between us, producing my highlighter.

"Now get back to work so you can take me out," he ordered quietly, feigning seriousness.

I mentally batted away the fog in my brain and scowled as I curled back into the draft report, reading furiously down the page, highlighter at the ready. My mind was already forming plans. This time, I would call the shots. Little did Edward know what he would be getting himself into.

* * *

**French translation: Petit chaton = little kitten, Merde = "shit" aka swear word expletive, Beauté = beauty. Hopefully my Apple Widget was accurate…haha**

_**Recapitulation**_** by Wickedcicada is 3 chapters in and is extremely well-written. Dark Pianoward and sweet, intelligent Bella...you don't want to miss it. It's on my Faves List so seriously...go click.**

**Reviews are always appreciated :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Song for this chapter is: **_**Sticky Sweet**_** by Erin McCarley **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight……………just a ducky number six**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within." – Jose Ortega y Gasset_

"_Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries." – Corita Kent_

**Chapter Nineteen**

The cheerful music traveled loudly through the air, filtering between humming, laughing bodies. It was a seasonal environment of oiled machinery, bright lights, and the smell of fried funnel cakes. At every turn, rides spun maddeningly, booths of games and prizes beckoned, and food stands sold the unhealthiest, most delicious, overpriced snacks. Crowds strolled, skipped, and screamed. Couples skated on the makeshift rink alongside of the main activity. Everything seemed to have a warm, yellow glow to it, despite the wintry air. This was unlike any place I had ever been with Edward. No booze and no fancy attire. This was the Winter Carnival.

It was one of the few times I'd seen Edward dress casual and it was almost surreal to be with him in what most people deemed to be, a normal setting. We weren't in a bathroom stall or a supply closet this time. Stealing away together between flying documents, phone calls, and chugging coffee were traded in for a casual evening. Nothing about Edward and I were easy and normal, but it made the moment sweeter.

I liked the Winter Carnival and would go with the group every year. Emmett in particular loved it—competition and fast rides spiked his adrenaline. One year Alice and I tried to teach him how to ice skate, which had ended up being a silly disaster. We'd laughed at Emmett's attempts to be graceful as he shimmied around like an oversized hockey player. Eventually he grew tired of our instruction and headed over at a ridiculously fast speed to knock Jasper down. The two fully grown men had become tangled in scarves and toe picks while Alice and I had doubled over in laughter. Emmett refused to go ice-skating after that, claiming it was a "chick thing" and snickered at Jasper.

I had originally discovered the carnival in the newspaper after my first year living in Seattle. I'd decided to give it shot, feeling homesick and tired with the pace and noise of the city. Upon entering, this seasonal event felt like stepping into an arena of colorful lights and wonder, despite children running past and hordes of loud people.

Nevertheless, I assumed it wasn't Edward's kind of scene.

As usual, Edward surprised me.

At first he laughed at my choice in date location, appearing not only amused but also amazed that he hadn't even been close to guessing. "I haven't been to a carnival in years," and he grasped my hand, leading us further into the center.

Feeling his hand over mine comforted me in ways I wasn't expecting.

We'd been somewhat awkward in the beginning when I first picked him. My face felt overly heated for the first few minutes because we were both all too aware as to why I hadn't needed directions to his apartment building.

Sure, I had anonymously dropped off that photograph of ducky number six before Christmas, but this time he really _knew_ as he approached my waiting car out front_._ The tension quickly faded when he smiled and hadn't badgered me with questions about where I was taking us, like I had done on our first date. It was difficult enough to concentrate on the road with his presence filling the car, but I'd still noticed a few signs of impatience. He frequently rearranged his hands in his lap and kept looking out the window for what I assumed was to keep track of the direction we were going. I had to give him some brownie points for being such a good sport.

I grew more nervous about his reaction when I parked on the street, hearing the noise of the carnival not far away, hidden behind the trees.

It was relieving that once he saw what our plans were for the next several hours, he was satisfied with it.

His hand still holding mine, he picked the largest, fastest, rollercoaster in the entire arena. I skidded to a halt, his hand yanking my arm in the process. "What's wrong?" His thick brows drew together at my hesitance.

I gulped, my vision traveling up the rigid metal scaffolding that towered over us. "Don't you want to start out with something small?" I usually did a few warm-up rides before diving into the big ones.

He released my hand, smirking with a raised eyebrow. "Scared?"

"Of course not," I said immediately, bringing my chin a notch higher. "I'm the kind of girl to work myself up to it."

"Well I'm the kind of guy that goes after what he wants," he replied smoothly with the faintest smile.

Maintaining my dignity, I walked past him, giving him the eye. His eyes gleamed with wicked amusement as he slowly followed behind me in line.

When I stopped behind the last person, I felt him close. "You don't scare me, Ms. Swan," he whispered at my ear. I was shocked for a moment while his breath tickled me.

"Neither does this ride," I answered in an even tone, glancing at him from my peripherals. I briefly wondered why he addressed me so formally.

He chuckled as we inched forward among the mass of anxious people.

Once seated in the rollercoaster, I ignored my thudding heart as we fastened the harness around ourselves.

We briefly exchanged challenging smiles before it launched.

Twenty seconds of incoherence.

The scream built pressure and stuck in my throat. My eyes were wide, unseeing, and stinging from the wind. I heard others around us shouting with the thrill of speed, the sound buzzing against my brain freeze.

And then it was over.

I came to, finally noticing that Edward was unbuckling my straps.

"Are you okay?" he asked, peeling me from the seat with amusement.

"Fine."

He caught me before I fell down.

We walked a little and I was grateful for the time to recover myself. Then I saw where we were walking to and horror flooded. We approached the photo booth from the rollercoaster ride. Snap shots of couples flickered on the screen in a slide show. I stared at the screen until I saw two familiar faces come into view.

Enter Bella and Edward. We couldn't have looked any more different side by side. My hair was whipped back, eyes bulging in terror, mouth frozen in mid-tremble. Edward looked perfectly at peace and straight out of a teeth whitening commercial. His eyes were squinted slightly, the joy in them matching his lips that were spread into a winning smile. I thought I even saw a twinkle on one of his teeth…

Were we even on the same ride?

Edward cracked up and strode over to the purchasing booth. "We'll print a copy of number thirty-eight," he said, already taking out his wallet from his back pocket.

"We will not!" I exclaimed, barreling in front of him, swatting his hand of cash against his chest with chagrin.

"We will," he told the cashier politely, ignoring me.

I gritted my teeth. "Edward."

"Bella." He smoothed his smile into a line of patience.

"Why would you want such an awful picture?"

"Alrighty here ya go, that'll be—"

"We're not finished talking," I snapped at the cashier. The man's torso concaved as he silently edged the photo forward on the counter.

"Well it's already printed," Edward answered, subtly handing the cashier a few dollars. Then he turned to me with fake concern. "You wouldn't want it to go to waste. Think of our limited resources and the dwindling trees."

"That's not even an issue in Washington." I snatched the photo to get another look at it. It was still awful.

He put his arm around my shoulders, laughing quietly to himself. "It's not that bad…"

"Yeah right, you can barely contain your laughter," I grumbled as he plucked the photo from me.

"Let me make it up to you then," his voice purred as he pulled me close. "We'll go on any ride you want."

"I like the swings."

So we went on the swings. It was fun and cheerful, spinning us into the gentle breeze. It reminded me of being a child again. Edward and I stole looks at each other and eventually our gazes locked. It hit me again just how good looking he was and how strange that such a formidable man could be on the swings with me. His hair blew around and I couldn't help but smile wryly at the situation.

After that I was set in my cheerful mood for the rest of the evening. I continued to get swept up in the playfulness of it all. Edward and I shared fried dough and cotton candy, each of us pulling it apart and chewing with smiles.

Just as we'd finished the bundle, Edward startled me by reaching down into my hair, lightly pulling a few strands. "I don't know how you did it Bella Swan, but you've got cotton candy in your hair."

His fingers lingered between the strands, bringing them to his nose, and lightly inhaling. "Now your hair smells like candy…"

I surprised him by arching up on the balls of my feet and spoke low, "My lips taste like candy too." Fitting my mouth against his, I kissed him sweetly, very lightly sucking on his lips.

His body jolted before relaxing and his fingers in my hair closed into a fist, bringing me closer to him as he opened his mouth in response. His tongue brushed mine in a trail of sugary heaven, the wet essence filling my senses. My arms wrapped around his waist, pressing myself closer to him. He was delicious in more ways than one. He moaned quietly, feeling the flush of our bodies and glided his hands further into my hair.

As his arms curled around me more firmly, I fought the prickling of lust and a swimming head. If I was going to tease Edward, I had to draw him in quick but control myself from taking things too far. I abruptly broke the kiss and his arms slowly fell away, confused by my reaction.

"So do yours." I let go of him, smiling slightly.

He grinned down at me, appearing dazed.

Feeling light-headed myself - from the rides, copious amounts of sugar, and Edward - I suggested we settle in at the gaming booths. It was a busy little market strip of innocent competition and fat prizes. We did a few hand tosses, hammer the hippo, and squirted water guns at a spinning wheel. Then Edward got really hooked on a target shooting game.

"Edward, you've been at this four times already," I complained, leaning near him on the edge of the booth.

"I know, but I need a perfect score."

"You've won ALL the games thus far." I was a little ticked that he'd beaten me at every single game.

"And now I need to win this one." Not looking at me, he squinted and aimed the fake rifle at the target pad.

Looking at the situation from the outside, I began to see just how competitive Edward really was.

It wasn't against me anymore, it was everything_._ I guessed he was driven forward by his own thirst for self-improvement. Watching him aim steady and careful, his body tightly wound with tension and concentration, I truly wondered what had made him so determined in life.

He finally shot at the target a few times, hitting the center, completing his fifth round. He hissed with delight and fought a quick smile as he handed the toy rifle back behind the booth.

"Perfect score," he said, stretching an arm around my waist.

"Took you long enough," I muttered, then squeaked when he playfully squeezed me into his side.

"Sir?" The woman behind the booth called.

She was a thin and curvy with red ringlets and tinted lips. Her carnival staff shirt was purposely pulled tight and tied off at her hip. She smiled at him, holding out a plush penguin. "Would you like your prize?"

Edward walked back over to accept the cute, stuffed bird. Then he halted, leaning down toward the woman for a moment. His back was turned so I couldn't see what was going on.

When he returned to my side he was carefully expressionless. "What was that about?" We started walking again down the aisle of booths.

"Nothing," he said, crumpling a piece of paper and tossing it in a nearby trashcan.

I left his side in a huff, making a beeline to retrieve the paper.

Edward grabbed my arm. "Bella, it's nothing important." He brought me back to his side, speaking in a hushed tone. "Don't be ridiculous and dig through the trash. If you must know, that woman slipped me her number and as you can see, I'm not interested."

I glanced behind us from Edward's shoulder, seeing the redhead still smiling in our direction. Anger quickly rose within me, so powerful that I inhaled with a hiss. I wanted to tear through her smile.

"Easy there." Edward's arms tightened around my tensed form.

"But—" My teeth clenched, biting back my furious words. Didn't she see that I was with him? And she had the audacity to make a pass at him with me standing a few yards away?

Penguin under his arm, he whirled me around by the shoulders. "Bella. Why are you angry? I just told you I wasn't interested in her."

I stared into his eyes searchingly. They were very calm yet determined and I felt my mind slowly clearing. What the hell was wrong with me? I'd never reacted this way before. When a man was lured away by another woman, it set me free. Not this time.

Exhaling long and heavy I said, "Damn right you're not," and placed my hands on each side of his face, pulling him close as I dramatically laid one on him. The kiss was rough and agonizingly slow. Edward's lips began moving with mine. It was too easy. I threw in a moan for good measure, hoping Miss Redhead was still watching us from afar. My tongue sought his, gliding over and around to feel and taste him. This man was with me tonight and I wouldn't let anyone interfere with that. My mouth closed to suck on his bottom lip, kissing him gently now. He sighed with pleasure, snaking his free arm around me.

I pressed myself against him and whispered in his ear, "Are you satisfied with your prize?"

"Yes." His voice was hoarse and he cleared it self-consciously.

"Good," I said quietly as my hand traveled down his tapered waist and over the hip of his jeans. A shiver went through him.

"Shall we go back on the rides now?" I asked, smiling up at him.

He rearranged his face, trying to get a hold of himself. He wasn't used to me behaving bold and eager and it gave me great pleasure to watch him fumble for words. Eventually, he just nodded and handed me the penguin as a gift. I chuckled and nestled the plushy into my purse.

We continued walking and after a moment I felt Edward's arm hold me close again.

We were very much in balance through touching, regardless of our verbal sparing. All the questions and worries I'd had about where this was going with Edward, momentarily fell away as I contemplated his competitive nature. Seeing how fierce he was at the last gaming booth allowed me to observe his behavior outside of the office and in a new light. I suspected that quality of his was more deeply rooted, beyond our bickering and jabs.

"Why did you become a lawyer?" I asked as we strolled somewhat aimlessly through the scattered crowds.

Initial surprise crossed his face before he turned thoughtful. "I wanted to be proactive, do something…significant after I graduated. I knew I had a certain charisma with most people and a talent for winning debates in college. But mostly I didn't want to be a struggling citizen bogged down by the government, so I opted for learning the rules and playing the game. It turns out, I not only enjoy it, but I'm pretty good at it."

"You want to help people too, right?" I asked, worried as to his answer.

"That's sweet of you to assume," he said with a chuckle, his implication to my ignorance slightly irritating me. "I believe that's never enough just to _want_ to help people. I also don't want to spend my time in a courtroom manipulating the jury to meet that end. I prefer the research and preparation, turning a situation into a case that can win based on the facts. I did it for Jenks and now I do it for the Lawrences."

I'd observed just how meticulous Edward really was in his work and wondered if he applied that work ethic to other things within his sights. "Did you do research on me?" I paused in our stroll to look at him.

"No Bella. That's simple observation and deductions." His lip turned up at one corner. "Although, you have tendencies to be unpredictable."

"I think you're just used to feeling confident in reading people to single-handedly attain your desires."

"Have you been doing research on me?"

"Simple observation and deductions," I answered with dry humor, continuing the direction of our slow walk.

We stopped at the end of a line to another ride as he teased, "I didn't realize you were paying so much attention to me."

"How could I not?" That made him smile. _It was part of your plan, and I couldn't resist..._

"Sometimes I wondered…" He spoke so quietly, I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear that.

We inched our way in line, the noise and music briefly filling our silence.

His arms rested at his sides, swaying lightly as we stepped closer to the front. I looked down, about to take his hand. I didn't want him to wonder anymore. I thought my hand over his would comfort him the way his had comforted me earlier. But he surprised me by speaking, his rich voice cutting through the background buzz.

"I'm glad you can see past your pride now."

My eyes met his as he stared down at me, giving me his usual tilting smirk.

I wanted to kiss that damn smirk right off of him. But I didn't. "It's called self-preservation."

He chuckled, helping me step into the riding cart. It rocked a little as we were seated and it was then that I became aware of us boarding the Ferris wheel.

"You've preserved yourself quite nicely," he commented, his gaze lowering to my neckline.

Understanding his game well enough by now, I refused to let him make me angry and then soothe me by appealing to my sexuality. I rounded on him in my seat, staring deep into his eyes. "I think you have a little too much confidence in your abilities, Edward Cullen…"

His brows rose, mildly quizzical. He drew in breath to speak but I quickly put a finger to his lips, stopping his thought. "You think you can have anything want, don't you?" I asked softly with an edge, leaning toward him.

While I had him quiet and his full attention, I took advantage. The cart swayed as the ride started and stopped with more couples boarding. He would be stuck with me here for awhile while I turned the tables. Perfect.

"You think if you tease and taunt me, you'll win me over with that smile of yours." My finger lightly dragged down his full lip, chin, and down the front of his neck. He swallowed as I trailed over his Adam's apple. "Hmm?"

He remained speechless, watching my every move.

I leaned in, breathing the vanilla and soap at his neck. Then I kissed the skin slowly at first, gently teasing him for all the times he'd made me miserable at work. He inhaled sharply as my lips parted, allowing my teeth to graze him. All the times he'd toyed with me, took advantage of my lower position in the office. My tongue brushed his skin between nibbles, hoping to give him that rough around the edge pleasure.

"You crave me, yet you manipulate me," I murmured into his neck. My lips finally found that small hollow at the base of his throat.

He breathed a small groan. I lifted my head slightly, peeking up at him. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling heavier. As my hand slowly moved up his shirt underneath his jacket, I felt the hard lines of his chest under my fingertips.

Slowly, his eyes opened, revealing their opacity and desire. It wasn't fierce or aggressive like I'd seen on other occasions. He wanted me, longed for me. My defenses started melting away. This plan of mine was turning my knees weak…

Just then, I noticed our cart was at the top of the wheel and we were able to view miles of cityscape. It was so high up that an uncontrollable thrill of fear quivered through me. Heights weren't my thing. The Ferris wheel gave a final jolt, officially jumpstarting the ride now that everyone had boarded. Loosing my balance, I fell against Edward's chest with a muffled yelp.

He gripped me by the shoulders, bringing me upright to face him. Still looking at me with cool intensity, he brought my lips to his in a very languid kiss.

"You're right," he mumbled. "I can't even resist you for an evening."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I answered him between kisses, "Well I'm not going down unless I'm taking you with me."

His hands went around my waist as his body shifted, bringing me onto lap. All of a sudden I found myself straddling Edward. It felt good, revving my impulses. Reaching my fingers through his thick hair, I moaned softly against his mouth. Our tongues met, our lips pulled and sucked. His hair was soft between my fingers and the way he touched me, his hands trailing down my sides, he felt incredible.

He rested his hands lightly on my hips. "Mm…Bella."

"I know…" I whispered, kissing him more urgently. I was starting to feel that good ache again. His lips were always so warm and soft.

"The…the wheel is about to stop," he groaned, reluctantly pulling away from me.

It was slowing down, the metal creaking. I rolled off of him, embarrassed, catching my breath. The last thing I wanted was for the police to escort us off the property after another public display. I let my breath slow, inhaling the fresh air. Edward looked just as ruffled, his eyes blazing and his cheekbones pink. But he recovered quickly.

We staggered off the cart, clinging to each other in order to steady ourselves. As we shambled a few yards from the Ferris wheel, Edward started laughing. His arm that was around my shoulders brought me closer and he kissed the top of my head.

"What's funny?"

He continued chuckling as I looked up. "You… Us."

We'd been flirting all evening, went on one ride that got steamy, and that was that. Edward and I had no chance of being apart. We simply couldn't manage it. I looked at him again, at his smile. My embarrassment faded and I found myself laughing with him. The entire evening had been ridiculously fun. I was in harmony with the most arrogant, infuriating, disagreeable man I'd ever known.

The crowds were dwindling as the hour got later. Chilly Seattle weather had a tendency to ward off most people from outdoor activities.

I snuggled in the crook of Edward's shoulder for warmth as we walked to my parking spot on a residential side street.

"We are pretty ridiculous, aren't we?" I mused aloud.

"Only when we're together I think."

"Is that a good thing?" I stared at the graveled earth, my shoes crunching over the pebbles.

"Yes, I think so." He angled his head down into my hair. "Aren't you having fun?"

I smiled at his uncertainty. "Actually, yes."

He laughed. "You're surprised?"

I turned my head from his shoulder to look at him. "A little." He quirked a brow at me. I rolled my eyes. "Okay, a lot. But I did have a really good time tonight. "

That seemed to satisfy him. I stared a moment longer at his chiseled profile.

Despite our differences, we seemed more solidified than we had ever been. It was still hard to grasp as I tried to think of everything that took place within the last several months. Now he was this warm, familiar person that set my insides aflame, in a good way.

As that reality set in, so did others. I knew I would have to tell him about that flower delivery from James. I didn't want sympathy nor did I want to worry him. I also didn't want to ruin the lovely evening we were having.

Unhooking myself from him, I skipped over to the driver's side, eager to get warm inside the car. Pausing, he lifted my window wiper, loosening a piece of paper that was caught.

"What is that, a flyer? Just toss it," I said absently.

"No, it's a photograph," he said distractedly, turning it over. My eyes caught the front of it. It was a copy of our rollercoaster picture we'd printed earlier.

Edward slowly read aloud. "It's good you like rollercoasters…your ride isn't over yet…J."

I thought I was going to be sick. Edward snapped his head up. "Why is this note written on the back of a photo with us on it?" There was a dangerous edge to his voice. "And who the hell is J?"

I saw the realization dawn on him as he read the guilt in my eyes.

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**Ruh roh...things are gonna get interesting. But aren't these two so cute?**

**Also, I have the BEST readers and I'm sure tons of authors say that, but I think I really do! From the laughs, frustration, and encouragement, I appreciate how nice your feedback is. You popped my 1k review cherry...so thanks :) *sniffs***


	20. Chapter 20

**Songs for this chapter are: **_**Roulette**_** by System of a Down, **_**Everlong**_** by Foo Fighters (acoustic version), **_**Electric Feel**_** by MGMT, and **_**Digital Bath**_** by Deftones. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight………………….just a ducky number six**

* * *

**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Such is the inconsistency of real love, that it is always awake to suspicion, however unreasonable; always requiring new assurances from the object of its interest." Ann Radcliffe._

**Chapter Twenty**

"Bella?" he asked again with less patience.

I stared at the photo in his hand. "It's… it's from James…" Having lost my voice momentarily from the shock of James's note, it came out cracked.

Edward turned completely rigid. "James wrote this?" he verified, taking steps toward me, still comprehending. "James as in…" His jaw clenched, unable to finish.

I nodded, observing the change in him with unease. My gaze dropped, unable to focus on anything except the way he took his steps with deliberation, pausing at the hood of my car.

"I was going to tell you—" I started.

"Tell me what?" he interrupted, causing my vision to snap up. "Is he following you around or something? _Stalking you?_" Edward shot a few glances around us to confirm that we were alone. I followed his gaze. Did he think James was here? Or was he worried about being overheard?

"I—yes, I think so…" I said slowly, considering everything and decided to stick with the truth.

His eyes flew back to mine as he moved around to my side of the car. "What do you mean 'you think so'?" His tone sounded like a tightly coiled spring with a sharp edge that could cut.

"Well… I received another note in a flower delivery—"

"Were you still seeing him?" he accused as a dangerous gleam flashed in his narrowed eyes, unnerving me further.

I was offended by his assumption. "Of course not." Did he really think I would be dating someone else besides him? Receiving gifts from other men? Especially from someone like James? The thoughts sunk my stomach like the weight of clay. "Why would you even think something like that?" I looked at the ground, digging a hole in the hard dirt with my toe.

"Maybe you panicked about spending time with me, kept him around in case…"

"I'm not like that," I spoke more to myself, then added, "anymore…" as the true meaning of his words crept in.

"Or maybe you like putting yourself in a dangerous situation," he mused, darkly.

I stared at him, confused by his reasoning and disbelieving of his implications. "That's just… unthinkable to even suggest a motive like that." I held my anger back. It wouldn't do any good to instigate a shouting match. "I'm trying to make you understand, explain things…"

He stared back, reading me. My gaze held. There was no way I would willingly put myself in this vulnerable position, to be a victim of James. I knew that. I told myself his accusations weren't important because they weren't true. But I found myself concerned if he really thought that.

He sighed, his initial fury smoothed away, replaced by determination. "Fine, then let's understand." He sounded surprisingly calm now, appearing more businesslike. Perhaps a little too calm. "How do you know the first note was from him?"

"It was unsigned but I was almost positive it was. He referenced a past date but I don't—"

"When did you receive these flowers?" he cut in, gradually transforming into Mr. Cullen from the courtroom, questioning me. "When?" he enunciated, pausing to stare at me with eyes that went flat and cool. Perhaps it wasn't so gradual.

The instant change in him was unsettling. I bit my lip, thinking. But my nervousness went unnoticed by him. I tried to sustain eye contact, mustering my courage. "Last week. Like I said, I was going to tell you," I added quickly.

"Last week…" he repeated, ignoring the last part of my statement. He started pacing, thinking to himself, seemingly casual but the tension in his body was apparent. I sensed his temper simmering underneath. I couldn't imagine what was going through his mind. "And what did this note say?"

I blew out a breath, remembering the disconcerting message. "That I shouldn't be around outside alone and—"

"Did he give specifics?" he interrogated in his clipped tone, pausing to look at me with his piercing gaze.

I could see why witnesses sweated and cowered on the stand now. I swallowed hard, trying to get my thoughts together. I couldn't though. His fast questions demanded outright, truthful answers with no time for sugar coated additions. "Um, he just implied the bushes near my apartment... he referred to the night that we fought about the Daniels case—"

He halted in his steps and our eyes met again. "Jesus fuck, he was there that night? Hiding in the bushes?" He ran a hand through his hair with unconcealed frustration and alarm. "When I told you it wasn't safe I didn't…" He paced more quickly like he needed to get some energy out.

I tried to think of something immediate to say, to smooth this over. "He could have lied about that just to scare—"

"And what did you do with this delivery after receiving it?" he barked, continuing his steps.

I raised my chin a bit, not appreciating his rudeness. "I saved the note for evidence. The rest is dumped into the trash on Garage Level B. I had the cleaning service—"

He halted again, incredulous. "They were sent to you at work?" He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, his jaw clenching down on his words. I was too perplexed by his reaction to continue. Then his shoulders shook and he started laughing darkly with no trace of humor. "Unbelievable."

"I don't see what's funny," I said quietly.

His hard, green eyes connected with my confused, brown ones. "You received a threatening gift at the office, and it got passed an entire floor of lawyers, completely unnoticed. And what's more, it's has been rotting just floors below where we work. It was undetected by everyone, including me..." He shook his head with disbelief, his expression darkening. His fingers went through his hair again, making the ends stick up.

"Well flowers are not unusual to receive at an office," I said through my teeth.

He snorted with disdain. "Yeah, not unusual for you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, annoyance and hurt swelling from the mental slap.

"Nothing."

The bitterness in his voice tapered off into momentary silence. I could still hear the carnival music in the distance, reminding me how wonderful the night had been until moments ago. I sighed, feeling aggravated with him but wanting desperately for things to go back to our happy evening. "Look… I was going to—"

"Yes, yes. You were going to tell me." He rudely waved me off with a hand. "When exactly? So far you've gone out of your way to hide it." Edward was still upset and angry, pacing and thinking.

I'd never seen him quite like this, but I pushed forward. "Tomorrow, I don't know..." I trailed off, intimidated by the look he shot me. My hands wouldn't stop fidgeting as I shifted my weight to the other leg, trying to explain. "It just never seemed like the right time to tell you." _I didn't want to ruin our evening…_

"And when would be a good time for you?" he asked with bitter sarcasm. "Is now a good time for you to confide in me about receiving threatening notes? Can you squeeze me into your busy fucking schedule?"

I flinched at his tone but felt my own anger spark. "Fine, perhaps I should have mentioned it earlier! I've told you what happened now, why is this still such a big deal to you?"

"Why?!" He looked taken aback by that and angrily tossed the note back on my windshield. "Are you really so blind Bella?" he growled.

I didn't like when he implied that I was ignorant about something I had already taken steps toward resolving. "I'm not blind. I've taken the necessary precautions. I've been using the legal system properly—"

"And despite your seemingly good efforts, here he is leaving a goddamn threat on your car, following you around! Following _us_ around."

"But nothing happened! James is too much of a coward to do anything besides drop a note."

He neared me, looking down at me with fire in his eyes and ice in his voice. "You don't know that. He seemed pretty determined that night at the art opening to get what he wanted."

I didn't shy away from his intensity. "I'm not denying that he's a delusional creep but he's just trying to scare me because I hurt his pride."

"Or maybe he's back to finish what he started. Did that occur to you? What if I had gone to buy us food or left you alone for a moment and he snatched you?"

The possibility of James going to that length was disturbing, but unlikely. "That wouldn't happen." I continued on, seeing Edward's protest hovering at his lips. "Don't think you can shadow my steps now. What are you going to do, put me under house arrest?"

"Like it would help." he snarled. "You don't listen to anybody."

"Because I don't need a babysitter, Edward."

"The hell you don't. You're too self-reliant for your own good and James is depending on that. It's damaged this situation in more ways than one and you're a fool not to see it. You can't run from this and you can't run from me."

Edward's words flew out like a loose canon, flustering me from all angles. He knew how to trigger me just right and my anger bubbled. "I'm not running from you…" I snapped.

"You're running from something and it sure as hell isn't James."

I understood the situation better than he thought I did and his accusations bothered me again. But the way he talked down to me bothered me more. "I'm not running because I live in a city full of cops and I know how to handle myself. I hired a P.I., reported him to the SPD, filed for a restraining order—"

"Just stop, Bella. This isn't about the law or your job, this is about…" He trailed off and exhaled harshly. "You have no idea how dangerous James really is." he said low, barely able to reign in his fury.

Aside from his temper, it was the last part that threw me off. "And you do?!" I was confused and angry again.

For once he looked unsettled like he'd said too much. But words never failed Edward Cullen. He balled his fists, regaining his confidence. "Yeah, I do. I looked him up after that night we drove him away. Something you should have invested your time in but once again, you're too wrapped up in your own world." He was inches away, looking down at me critically.

His words were frustrating and hurtful, unraveling me. "Why the hell didn't you share any of this with me? How dare you lecture me on keeping secrets when you've been hiding important information." All this time he was drilling me into the ground, not bothering to be forthcoming. I was so furious with him that I balled my own hands into fists to keep them from shaking.

His hand went through his hair again. "I wasn't aware it would be necessary for you to know because I didn't know this was going on. But given the current circumstances—"

"You still went behind my back," I stated, still seething.

"It was just a precaution," he bit out furiously, almost shouting in my face. "Unlike you Bella, I wasn't going out of my way to hide it."

"But you—"

"Do you even remember that night? How defenseless you were against him?" There was a tightness in his voice that I had never heard from him before.

I took a deep, angry breath trying to control myself a little. I'd tried many times to block out that night. James was angry, controlling, _obsessive. _I couldn't smooth this over anymore. The reality that Edward was painting made me feel worse, sick. All those nights I walked to my door, alone and unknowingly vulnerable… I thought I was going to throw up.

But what did he mean before? What the hell did he know about James that I didn't? "Edward, I want to know why." I held firm in an attempt to break from my nausea.

"And so do I," he snapped. "You've had days to tell me what was going on. Every day you see me and… nothing. Not a damn word." His eyes flashed with hurt as he looked away, his voice betraying nothing.

I had already related the information to him but Edward was still angry with me. What more could I do? "And if I had told you immediately, what would you have done about it? It's not going to change anything that's happened. James would still be persistent and in a few days, I'll have the legal procedures resolved. You think you can ride up on a horse and fix everything for me?"

"You don't even fucking trust me to let me in on the situation!"

"No, it's just… you can't do anything about it," I replied, reining in my aggravation in hopes of appealing to his logic.

Unexpectedly, the temper flared in his eyes. "I thought we," and he gestured with a hand between our bodies, "_we_ were getting somewhere, Bella."

"We are. We have been." I prompted. "I—"

"Obviously we're not. You're still constantly repelling relationships, seemingly happy on your own. Holding on to your beliefs that 'men are lying, uncommitted, assholes'", he mocked. "Nothing good can come from us other than fulfilling your temporary satisfaction." His words cut me, the pain lacing, flooding my anger.

"Well you weren't complaining in the beginning when you seduced me back to your place and then confused me for months. You willingly became a product of my theories," I stiffly reminded him, still jarring inside from his words. I didn't want to start tearing each other up, but he instigated me too far.

"A product? Another result in your twisted fact book? Goddamn disposable to you?"

"No, but you don't trust me either. One slip up from me and you're ready to question everything, including my character. Suddenly you can't put any faith in this and are about to give up. You are a lying, uncommitted, asshole when faced with an imperfect woman." My nerves were erratically bouncing all over the inside of my stomach.

"That is utter bullshit." The vein in his forehead flexed as his blazing eyes sought mine. "I've known for awhile what I've been getting myself into. I stole every bit of your time and attention that I could. After all this time, how can you still have reservations about me? Is looking out for you when you were sick mean nothing? Saving you from sexual assault not enough? What else do you require? For months I've tried to win you over while dancing around your enigmatic feelings. I think it's obvious that I haven't had it easy with you, yet I'm still here," he explained frostily.

"Because you like the chase and winning. Can you even handle a woman like me? This is who I am—a person who lives independently, successfully. You can't just squeeze yourself into my life and expect me to change."

He slowly shook his head at me. "You claim men are untrustworthy and uncommitted, but you've proven to have both those qualities." The outrage dissipated from his face. "I have _tried _to do everything I can to get you to trust me. I have _tried_ to prove all your theories wrong. But you continue to make these choices…"

My train of thought halted, letting his words sink in. It was true, I was non-committal... Had men made me this way or was something wrong with me? But what needled me more was his other thought. Was I so untrustworthy? Unreliable? I was yelling at him for losing faith in me but I hadn't reciprocated any reassurance. My heart sank further. If he believed those things, why was Edward still spending all this time on me? Why was he still trying? Some things just didn't add up. "I want to know why you looked up James in the system."

His jaw flexed and his temper was back. "To see if I could incriminate him if he ever came back."

I wasn't entirely convinced by his answer. A simple precaution to incriminate a man I hadn't dated more than three times? He didn't know James was tracking me until now. I stared up at him, looking between his eyes, trying to understand. He glared back at me. "Why would you put your energy into it in the first place?"

He backed away slightly, letting out a heavy breath. "Do you have any clue what it would do to me if he… if he fucking touched you ever again?" His eyes refocused, the fury in them dimming slightly. "And did it occur to you that I would want to know about all of this because I fucking _care_ about you?!"

My frustration choked back and I forgot my anger, too stunned to retort. I knew that he cared, but hearing him say it that way hit deep.

Moving closer, his hands found my face, but I didn't flinch from his touch. Or from _him. _His voice turned low and serious, a note of desperation. "I don't understand you, Bella. You say you can't stay away from me anymore, but you push me back when it matters." His eyes were fixed, hypnotic, and drawing me in. "This isn't about pride or winning a stupid argument. I think and plan only for you because I know how we are together. Maybe you like being chased... But, I've been right in front of you. It's just _me_."

I was too upset, guilt and sadness spreading, threatening to suffocate as I tried to separate my thoughts. The look in his eyes, his touch and closeness, the raw edge to his voice, overwhelmed me completely. His hands framed my face more firmly, anxious and beseeching. "What do you think is between us? What is it you want?"

The guard was down in his eyes and I saw hope and doubt there—the way he had looked at me in the garage, but now it was at full force. Familiarity flooded, realizing that he'd had feelings for me since then and who knew how long before that… Flashes of his words hit me from months ago. _"I'm not the type to rush into anything unless I was sure the feeling was mutual. I want you, all of you."_ There had been no fleeting, reckless decision making on his part, concluding that he saw some things in my behavior and the yearning beneath my scowls. Had that been concrete enough to convince him when I was in denial? All I could think about was him working toward something meaningful all this time while I had just been dishing back the tricks. Was I selfish? Did I live in my own world, unable to make time for him, while he was here, waiting, chasing, wanting?

Unable to bear the fresh guilt, my gaze fell from his wounded expression. I knew I had played into it, never really pushing him away. It was impossible to have fully understood the intent in his actions but I knew deep down that despite everything, I _was_ 'wrapped up in my own world' as he'd said and the truth of it stung me hard. I hadn't predicted or noticed James until recently, hadn't taken Jasper's warning serious enough, hadn't fully understood Edward until now…

How ever his games of conquest had started, he was wanting and longing and caring beyond reason or assurance. I misunderstood because I was selfish… I hurt him yet he was still here. I was so sad for him and felt even worse about myself. The shame overwhelmed me to a devastating degree.

He sighed in defeat, bringing me out of my thoughts. He mistook my silence and shook his head, his pained expression focusing on the ground. "I don't… I can't do this anymore…" He said above a whisper. Turning, his shoulders slumped and he shoved his hands in his pockets, walking away from me.

I wanted to reach out to him as much as I wanted to scream at him. Somehow this situation had turned worse than a bad blind date. I looked at the note on my windshield where Edward had angrily tossed it. I had caused him to feel this way and got upset at myself all over again. The further he walked, the more it hurt.

"Wait," I choked out, my throat constricting with emotion. He was already down the street. "Edward… Edward!" I called after him, wishing he would come back, fiercely wanting him to. _I'm a selfish coward… I'm so sorry for being blind and pushing you away._ There was still so much to explain, so much to tell him and I had no idea what I could say at this moment to help. But I was even more afraid of him walking away, the door closing forever.

Angrily, he kicked a stone in the road mid-stride, just before fading into the night. The stone hit a trashcan and bounced back, skidding on the sidewalk. It was the only sound that lingered after his disappearance.

It felt like my chest was cracking, spidering like broken glass. _He really did leave… he's gone. _The tears welled up but I blinked them away, still not believing it, hanging onto that thread of hope that he would reappear.

The silence closed in on me, the buzz of the carnival having faded long ago. My breathing hiccupped as I tore stinging eyes from the vacant spot of dark to the cursed note on my window again. _Damn you, James._ He'd ruined everything. Any chance I had of moving forward had been pulled right out from under me.

Robotically, I got into my car and slammed the door, chucking the balled up note on the passenger seat. Unable to hold back any longer, a sob ripped through me. I punched the steering wheel with the heel of my hand as the tears burned down my cheeks. Then I clung to it for support, the hurt welling up as the tears dropped to the leather and my jeans. I wanted to throttle James senseless and I was seething from the balling fury. Is this what Edward had felt? Betrayal and hurt by this violation? But it wasn't just that. He'd lost his hope in me…

My throat was nearly closed off, making me cough and cry as my vision blurred. _Why did this have to happen?_ I cried to myself over and over, wiping my nose with my sleeve.

He'd finally given up on me and my damaging methods, the thought sinking me to the blackest parts inside myself. His pained, distrusting eyes flashed in my mind again, and I knew this couldn't be fixed, that he would never forgive me. I cried harder, not caring about the occasional couple that passed by on the way to their cars.

I tried to calm myself, to think clearly, but I couldn't. I couldn't focus on anything but the hopelessness threatening to swallow me. I started the engine, just wanting to go home and curl into my bed so I could wallow in my despair. Reflect on how a perfectly good night, how _everything_ was ruined instantly by my own actions.

As my luck had it, the cloudy skies of Seattle parted, raining hard on my windshield. The wipers splashed the water away as I wiped my eyes repeatedly to see the road. I replayed it over and over in my mind, seeing the feelings in his words against my misguided, callous answers. I'd tried to show him I had everything under control, thinking he would be proud of the steps I'd taken and that he would be less worried. It had completely backfired on me. I missed the obvious detail, something Jasper had tried to tell me. I hadn't listened properly.

Truth was, even if I'd listened, I wasn't opened up as much as I should have been. I didn't like relying on Edward, on anybody. As much as he was part of my life and my growing affection, it was still something I was struggling with after so many years of doing things on my own. All these years of self-reliance and seeking my own council, had I become too jaded and cynical beyond repair?

The fresh loss of Edward continued to absorb into me and I realized just how much I had grown to depend on him. I knew that any excuse to piss me off was how he tried to get closer to me but he was actually there for me when the shit happened. My memories flashed with everything—the smiles, the teasing, the coffee, the projects, the lunches, and all the while he was watching and caring about me. I didn't seek his approval to feel good about myself, I… I just needed him.

I couldn't have it both ways. Tonight proved that. If I wanted him to be part of the things I did, I had to share myself with him. It scared me so much, wondering if I was going to lose myself to this strong, powerful man. But I trembled more, just thinking of the possibility without him entirely.

I parked in front of my apartment building, breathing mucus and mopping my face again before facing the quiet solitude of my room. I was exhausted and lifeless, dragging my sad self up the stairs and through the door, automatically kicking my shoes off. I felt even worse than I had five minutes ago and stifled another sob. Leaning against the back of my couch, I slumped, allowing the fresh pain to dig its hole.

How would things be without Edward Cullen? I couldn't even think straight, wiping my sore eyes, crying again. What would I be doing without him? I imagined endless lonely evenings with me and a T.V. dinner, getting left behind by Emmett as he preoccupied himself with a beautiful woman, and being a third wheel to Alice and Jasper. Immersing myself in a world of detached people, only closing the gap through fleeting sexual encounters. In reality, I had nothing but infrequent conversations with my parents, the love of my friends, and the passion for my job. My fortress used to be satisfactory, but Edward slowly chipped at it and suddenly, the awareness of my deprivation was the difference he'd made in my life.

My newfound clarity swirled, deepening the heartbreak in my chest. Edward was right. Metaphorically, I was a girl alone in a room filled with people, secretly hoping someone in that crowd would clasp my hand and make everything else go away. I looked down at my hands, remembering the way they had felt in his.

I'd had a wonderful, persistent man, trying to take my hand in his for too long while I turned my back on his attempts countless times. He wanted to be the one but I had expected him to be like everyone else. Well, he finally gave up his mission and left. I took my coat off and threw it on the couch behind me. I wanted to curl up in the dark and dream of Edward while hating myself. My face tightened, the upheaval of sorrow threatening to take over. I tried to calm myself and organize my thoughts again.

The ball was in my court, like I'd always wanted it to be. But now… I had to use it for a purpose. Whatever happened on Monday would be dependent on my actions. I had a feeling Edward would not be cornering me in the kitchenette this time. I wasn't expecting him to try anymore and I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. Then it occurred to me that that was a real possibility. If I sat on this rift between us, it could be more damaging. Edward would have time to think in his solitude and my inaction would further convince him to let me go. The very idea of seeing him everyday at the office, reliving my mistake and unable to go to him, it was unbearable.

I should go to his apartment and force him to listen to my explanations—none of which seemed reasonable right now. And what if he refused to see me? My doubts started to surface. I knew that based on my past behavior, his trust in me wasn't worth much. Maybe it would never be okay again... I shook my head, tossing away that possibility. If I was truly going to lose him this time, it wouldn't be through repetition of my bullshit. A woman who avoided his feelings was in fact, unworthy of them. I saw that now.

The impulse to act brought me out of my wounded haze. I picked up my coat and put shoes back on, more determined. As I grabbed my purse, a knock sounded at the door, causing me jump back from the doorknob. My alarm faded as annoyance surged within. _Fucking Marc and his sugar._ I wasn't going to answer a neighborly call at this time of night. I was leaving anyways. The knock sounded again, firmer with impatience. I almost growled, wiping my eyes one last time before opening the door.

"Marc, this isn't a good—"

I lost my breath, seeing Edward standing in my doorway, his knuckles raised in mid-knock and his dripping hair falling across his forehead. He looked at me with a mixture of distress and relief, roaming my face and back up to my eyes. The dull pain in my chest reminded me to breath.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, watching beads of water form on the tips of his hair.

"I'm sorry," he said, with a crushing hug, his wet clothes soaking my shirt. "Bella..." He breathed into my hair. "You told me about James… and how could I let you go home by yourself, abandon you? If _anything_ ever happened to you…" He squeezed me, his arms like gridlock as my coat and purse dropped to the floor.

"I'm okay. It's okay," I reassured him, unable to breathe, closing my eyes against his chest.

His arms loosened as he pulled back slightly to look at me, his breath fanning my lips. "All I ever wanted…"

"Shh…" I pressed my index finger to his lips, relieved that he was here. He didn't need to reassure me, I needed to reassure him. His jaw was set in determination but I had never seen him look so distraught and vulnerable. I wasn't the only one wounded and upset, and I needed to fix this now. It became clear just how much we needed each other and how impossible it was to stay away anymore. "I'm sorry, too. It's okay, Edward. Nothing bad is going to happen to me, I have _you_…" I said softly, my finger tracing lightly over his lips.

His hands slid up to cradle my face, holding me to him carefully like I was breakable. "Did something else happen?" he asked, deeply concerned.

"Yes. I'm sorry for pushing you away… I… when you said you couldn't do this anymore… I thought you meant goodbye," I mumbled brokenly, fighting back the fresh tears as I looked up from his lips.

"I meant that I couldn't fight with you about this anymore…" He pulled me closer with a sigh and my hands hesitantly went to the sides of head, fingers trailing into his wet hair—just to make sure he was real. We held each others faces, staring, letting the moment solidify and deepen.

Bringing up the knuckle of his index finger, he lightly touched my red, puffy eyes, considering them.

"I didn't realize I would be so upset," I admitted with a sniffle.

He sighed again and pushed a tangled strand of hair from my face. "I'm such an idiot Bella…"

I blinked back. "What are you talking about? I'm the idiot," I said in a scratched voice, placing my hand over his at my cheek.

I didn't notice more tears escaping down until Edward's thumbs brushed them away. "You frustrate me beyond words but, you're your own person and I freaked out at you. I shouldn't have done that. I just…"

I brought my finger to his lips again, gently quieting him. I didn't want him to be distressed anymore.

He closed his eyes for a second and kissed my index finger at his mouth. Our eyes held as he leaned closer, my other hand dragging further into his hair with the movement as he pressed his lips to a leaked tear. "I was horrible to you too. I… I can't pretend that there's nothing between us anymore," I said, exhaling shakily. "I'm sorry…" I couldn't finish, the emotion tangling the words in my throat. It saddened me further to think of the damage that had been caused but I couldn't describe the level happiness I felt, now that he was here, giving me this chance to make things right.

He slid his hands down to my shoulders, holding me close, and moved his cheek to my temple. The silence deepened while my heart pounded steadily. And then quickened. My mouth was close to his neck and I breathed in his scent mixed with the rain. Turning my head a fraction, I placed a real kiss on the skin there. He was so solid and warm that I closed my eyes, reveling in him as the pain inside my chest lifted. His hair tickled as he moved to kiss my cheek near my ear, holding me tighter.

I was safe and comforted like I'd never felt before with anyone. Burying my head in his shoulder, I slowly placed small kisses at his neck until the collar of his shirt prevented me. He tensed and shivered at the feel of it.

Cupping the back of my head to look at me, he said, "I won't walk away from you like that again." His eyes were brilliant green, softened but anxious as they darted all over my face.

"I won't give you a reason to..." A nervous tingle sang in my stomach with a pleasant zing as he leaned down, touching his lips to mine. His mouth felt soft and full and I could taste the rain droplets on his skin. I wanted to reassure him of how deeply I cared and to prove myself to him. That I was capable of giving affection and tenderness. My tongue slowly tangled with his, brushing gently and thorough that I could taste the muted flavors of cotton candy from earlier. I wanted to show him that all of his efforts weren't for nothing.

My hands traced down his neck, my fingertips meeting the collar of his jacket and the shirt underneath.

"You're still soaking wet… your clothes…" I started, aware that we were still out in the drafty hallway. In one swift movement, Edward stepped forward, pressing himself against me, and kicked shut the door.

"It's nothing," he mumbled, pulling me to him with a new urgency and captured my mouth again. My back pressed against the wall as he kissed me firmly. I pushed the jacket off his shoulders.

"Don't want you to catch a cold," I murmured against his lips. Smiling into the kiss, the wet fabric loudly slapped against the floor in the quiet of the room.

"Mmm…" He moaned softly in agreement and his arms held me closer, wrapping to the small of my back. I became aware of his body pressed into me, the hard lines of his chest heaving against mine, his hands sliding upwards.

Breathless and overwhelmed, we touched and kissed, growing more and more eager to taste and be close. Things were moving fast, but I didn't want to stop. He needed me and instead of questioning everything, I relaxed into him. His tongue was everywhere in my mouth, skilled and surprisingly natural. Strong hands slid into my hair, sparking pleasure and need, fingers slightly pulling.

His mouth sought my neck, lips dragging along my skin, before opening to taste. A moan escaped me, craving more as something changed between us. Something unstoppable.

"Edward… I know we have so much to say… but…" I mumbled in his ear, losing my thoughts as his lips roamed on my skin.

"I want you." Firmly, he pulled the neckline of my shirt, exposing my shoulder, kissing, licking and teasing the arch. That felt so good…

"I want you too." Overwhelmed, my knees almost buckled.

"Not as a cushion…" he whispered against my skin.

"Never. It's just me and you…" His lips instantly covered mine and I was lost to him. Moaning, I curled my fingers in his wet hair, pressing my mouth firmer into his, gasping as his lips moved over mine more roughly. The tightness in my chest loosened, wanting to give and experience. I knew I simply had to have him and nothing could stop me but myself.

Releasing his thick hair, my hands traveled down his chest, grabbing his shirt and pulling. It was stuck somewhere and I wanted it off.

He chuckled against my mouth, sensing my impatience as I fought it off him, eager to feel his skin. He paused, pulling it over his head, his abdomen flexed with the effort. The instant he had it off, I swallowed hard, fighting back the nerves.

He was so sexy, chiseled and warm beneath my hands. I'd imagined him so many times beneath his shirt and tie, trying to fill in the memories of that drunken night, but this was real. We were finally going to do this…. and more than anything, I wanted him.

I pulled him to me, kissing his mouth again with urgency he was definitely feeling, too. I wasn't sure how he liked to be touched or what would please him the most, but I wanted to guess.

Perhaps he sensed my uncertainty because he suddenly lifted me onto the back edge of my couch, holding me to the frame as my legs spread for him to stand in between. I was raised more to his level and felt him hard against my leg. Aroused and impatient, I played with the waistband of his jeans in a daze, ready to show him what I wanted, thinking how nice he would feel in my hands.

"Bella, I don't think I can stop," he groaned, his own hands gliding under my shirt at the back of my hip, seeking new skin.

"I don't want to," I answered, my mouth trailed to his shoulder, neck and down his chest. Neither of us paused while we explored and unraveled clothing.

Slowly, he peeled my shirt up, the wet material sliding off cold. Exposed, I shivered, but not from the air. The look in his eyes was pure want, lust and tender excitement.

Goosebumps rose on my skin where he traced the edges of my collarbones and breasts, his fingers slipping to the lace of my bra. _He feels so good and this is just the beginning…_

His fingers lightly brushed my nipples, groaning when he felt how aroused I was. Tingles instantly shot through me as my forehead fell to his shoulder, moaning and wanting more.

Pushing a strand of hair out of the way, he tilted my head to the side as he nuzzled and licked along my skin. "You're so beautiful," he whispered roughly.

He was so sweet and I felt the truth in his words. But it was him that was beautiful. Strong but graceful, controlled yet feeling. I imagined his coppery hair feathered against my pillows, soaking up his kisses, pleasing him just right. We were opening up, not minding that we were diving into the unknown, gripping each other tightly. "Take me to my room…" I gasped against his chest.

His soft mouth found mine again with a new ardent sensuality that stirred some of the deepest parts inside of me. I moaned and kissed his ear, breathing, "I'm on the pill," as we moved down the hallway to my unlit room with touches of lips and impatient hands. I thought it best to get that information out of the way before my coherency slipped. I wanted him to feel completely secure about all of this.

"I remember…" he replied, smiling against my skin.

That surprised me, unable to recall that exchange.

Without missing a beat, he ran his hands down my sides, his thumbs tracing over my hipbones as we reached my bed. I felt the cool bedspread beneath my skin as he kneeled over me, pulling my jeans down swiftly, letting my shoes slip off with the material. I shivered again as he kicked off his own shoes, joining me on the bed.

As he knelt down, I slid alongside him, pushing him onto his back and straddling his hips. "I need you right now," I said, unbuckling his belt expertly.

In a flash, I was on my back again with Edward pinning me. I started breathing erratically. "You want the quick satisfaction without the intimacy?" he whispered above my lips. I whimpered, unsure. I was aching, throbbing for him. I didn't know if I could tolerate the agonies of slow, torturous foreplay.

Then he kissed me deep, his tongue pushing into mine. My heart was pounding crazy against my chest, uncomfortable with the lack of control. Trying to regain it, I arched up against him. I felt him tense and harden further, groaning into my lips.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this… for you." He lightly nibbled my neck. His usual charming tone was rough and desperate now.

"I think I do… Even when I hated you, I wanted you," I breathed.

"I know. You couldn't keep away from me." He switched to the other side of my neck. "Every time you stalked out of my office I wanted to grab you and…"

His lips quickened down along my shoulder and I felt him grow harder. "…and what?"

Smoothing my hair back, he touched my flushed cheek. "Lay you on my desk, imagining your hair fanned out and your soft skin..." He traced his fingers down my side and over the curve of my waist, leaving a trail of gooseflesh and fire.

I regarded him with a new adoration, drawing my hands up to his face. Knowing he had thought about me that way, I remembered how he'd kept his distance, never moving beyond our kisses. So patient and thoughtful and silently yearning for me… I brought his lips to mine, sucking gently with renewed warmth.

"I thought about how nice it would be to sit with you in your chair..." I admitted. "With my legs around you." I nibbled his ear with a smile.

He groaned softly as my words heightened his fantasy. "These legs of yours are beautiful and sexy…" he said, slowly palming my thigh down to my knee. I wiggled at the ticklish feeling but he held me steady, hitching my knee up to his waist. "And I love your hips, the way you move…" He bit his lip as if resisting to taste it all.

I relaxed into the pillows. "Show me," I whispered, gently pulling the flesh from his teeth with a kiss, lightly running my tongue over his bottom lip.

We kissed as his fingers drew up to my bra straps, tugging them down, exposing me. "There are a lot of things I remember about you." _So cryptic and teasing._

I swallowed back my response, gasping when he cupped my breast. Again, I wanted to ask for clarification, but found myself unable to concentrate on anything except his hands.

"Still beautiful and delicate," he murmured. His hands were strong and graceful, his thumb grazing me. I gasped softly while his other hand explored, touching, gliding, and teasing down my side from shoulder to calf, lingering at my curves, igniting little spots of pleasure through out. "What I love most are the sounds you make." He whispered in an unsteady voice, his hands eager but careful.

A twinge of lust rippled through me and I thought my heart couldn't beat any faster. I felt his hair tickle as he dipped his head, kissing trails down my chest until I felt his tongue, burning hot and wet at my breast. My breath hitched from the sensation while another onslaught of desire flooded me. My eyes sliding shut completely while the passion hummed between us.

I heard our mixed breathing, the rustling of my sheets, and the feel of his hands and lips rousing me to heights I'd never felt before. I clutched his damp hair between my fingers. A man had never taken the time to touch me this way and Edward was concentrating all his efforts on pleasing me.

On having me. Just as he always did...

I wanted to do the same for him. Have him know that we could be private like this together and hold onto it.

My memory flashed, remembering our lunches. The way his lips moved and his tongue licked, and especially the small noises of contentment he made while chewing. And now his tongue felt incredible on me, darting out in small trails, persuasively rekindling the throbbing ache. He had the most sensual mouth I'd ever experienced.

It was too much and I began whimpering, writhing beneath him. He drew upward, back to teasing my neck, smiling against my skin. Breathing unevenly, I used the moment to unbutton his jeans, wanting him inside of me more than ever. When I blindly fumbled with the zipper, Edward laid his hand over mine, dragging it down, guiding me to his erection. That was more than fine by me.

I pressed my palm to him, wanting to make him feel good. He was incredibly hard for me, sparking a happy thrill and courage. I made him feel that way. He exhaled a groan, enjoying the contact and pride swelled within me.

Dipping my hand beneath the fabric of his boxer briefs, I boldly wrapped my fingers around him, feeling hard, soft skin pulsate in my hand. He moaned, dipping his head slightly with a shudder as I began to stroke slowly with a firm hand. I wondered once more what he liked specifically, wanting to please him. This was just so new, this touching with purpose and consideration, utterly caught up in being together.

"Mmm…Bella…feels so…good…" he moaned low and shallow as his hips gently thrust forward to increase the friction. Captivated by his responses, I continued working him faster as our lips met again. His breathing against my lips came heavier, his kisses almost rough. We were both so eager now, as everything else faded.

It was only Edward and I, with just this moment between us. It was sexy and _real_.

Without dodging around in uncertainty and frustration, to see his barriers come down tonight, understanding him, made our connection much more open and tender. Never could I push this man away again. I'd be denying the magnetic pull of our minds and bodies. Deep down, I knew I would never have given up on him, even if his patience had run out before that. But I wanted to make up for lost time.

We were spinning magic tonight and I wanted to be a driving force that would make this exciting and happy. I pressed kisses down his face and neck, showing him how much I cared about pleasing him. To keep him in my bubble and let go for him, to show him I could feel for him, too.

All of these thoughts and wants and opportunities spiked my heart, excitement laced with desire coursed through me. I peeked between us, his long limbs and toned body on display, his hips slightly rocking out of his jeans as I held him firm. _Damn…perfection._ I watched my hand circle his tip and then moved down again, palming and stroking him as he groaned in pleasure.

"I do want you... badly," I whispered through my breaths, releasing him to slide his jeans down as best I could. "You don't know what it's been like for me."

I felt his stomach muscles clench as he drew back, wiggling out of his last remaining article of clothing while gazing at me through dark, simmering eyes. "Hmm… I think I do."

I sighed with increased awareness of my soaked panties. "I haven't remembered that night very well and all this time, I've wanted you here like this… so much," I admitted.

"Bella…" he breathed, pressing his body to me with growing excitement. "It's even better this time." His hand skimmed along my skin with purpose. "But I'll help you remember." He was playful now, charming me into provocative bliss.

I wound my hands through his hair, placing little impatient kisses on his face and shoulders. He was so warm and hard and perfect. I didn't want to wait anymore. "Please." I spread my legs further, urging him to settle in and fill me. I had Edward completely naked in my bed and relished it.

"First, I want to watch you come undone in my arms..." he whispered with trailing fingers down the outside of my leg and then up my inner thigh, hitching it up to pull my lace panties off. Without my consent, my wetness trickled, anticipation racing through me. I moaned in response, feeling edgy in my excitement.

"I'm going to make you feel so good," he assured confidently. My pulse slammed as his fingers ventured lower, sliding between my legs. I gasped and he shuddered at my reaction, my body tensing as a plucked wire. He nudged my opening, spinning my mind with sensitive pleasure. Without a fight, I relaxed into the bed, letting his fingers take over my world.

He groaned, kissing my mouth as I moaned while he began to work me. "I remember now..." His eyelids fluttered closed briefly, opening to convey nothing but pure lust.

We stared for a moment, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. His fingers were skilled, working in and over, spiking the sensations. My hands moved up over his shoulders and neck and hair, trying to anchor myself, but he kept bringing me higher and higher, moving faster. My coherency slipped away.

Edward circled that spot relentlessly, my legs weakening, relaxing into his touch. I tried to bite back my sounds as waves of bliss lapped over me.

The pressure built further, heat and tightness traveling down my dry throat to my chest, into my stomach, right to where he was touching. I moaned, feeling the approaching release. It had been so long, and never with him… that I could remember.

"I want you to let go, Bella… for me…." he whispered eagerly, his voice deep with passionate lust. From the slits of my vision, our eyes met again and the low vibration of his words weakened me further, my body quaking under his control.

Limp and trembling, I let go, my dry throat aching further as I panted and moaned. He continued to touch me, although softer, gentler than before. His arm wrapped around my back, pulling me close while I quivered in his embrace. His other hand slid up my back, trailing to his lips. I saw through my glazed helplessness, his mouth close over his fingers, tasting me.

"I remembered that too…" he whispered, his words and that action sparking my lust again.

I sighed, pulling his lips back to mine, tasting myself on his tongue in a deep kiss, thanking him. Appreciating him. "What else?" I asked breathlessly, weak and tingling, fighting the fog in my head as I trailed my fingers down his chest.

"I remember… how saucy you were, attacking me and breaking my furniture," he said, teasingly.

I felt my face turn hot in the near darkness, startled in his arms. He stopped my fluster with a gentle hand to my cheek, chuckling softly. "Are you blushing all of a sudden?"

I laughed, feeling silly about it after what I'd just done in his arms, and released some of my tension. I let my body relax into him, brushing my fingers across his nipple. "I… do you, like it rough?" New heat warmed my cheeks in embarrassment. I felt ridiculous for asking.

"I like _you_…" he said, cutting off my laugh as he fitted himself against me, revved with hot, stimulated excitement. That was a good enough answer for me. We kissed feverishly, sliding our tongues together.

I drew my fingers into his hair and Edward's hands were all over me then, kissing a path up to my neck and lips, clouding my mind again.

I moaned and arched, so ready to be closer. He held me by the waist until unexpectedly lifting me to my knees. I fell against his chest with my head on his shoulder, unable to think. My limbs still sizzled with relaxation, tingling and numb at the same time.

He turned my face and pressed his mouth on mine in a hard kiss. I held onto his shoulders as he brought my legs around him and grasped my hips in his hands. "Bella…" he whispered, his hungry eyes holding mine.

Again, I reassured him, placing my finger on his lips. "Shh… I want this... I want you. I always have, I just..."

Slowly, he licked his lips, swallowing loudly as he pushed into me. He stretched me, burning slightly as we gasped and moaned together, adjusting to the feeling. _This, I could remember…_

I was still tight from my climax but I tried to relax, allowing him further in. He tensed with a groan and halted.

"What is it?" I whispered into his neck, biting back a moan, trailing my nails lightly on his back. "Am I popping your cherry?" I teased, smiling playfully.

"It's… it's just been awhile." He kissed my collarbone, pulling back and then pushing in slowly while my hands soothingly played with his hair. The feeling was… indescribable. He felt so good…

"You haven't been with anybody?" I asked, not bothering to conceal my surprise. I assumed... I didn't know what I really thought.

"Not since you," he admitted, relaxing slightly, pulling out and then thrusting once, finally filling me completely.

I moaned and breathed unevenly at how good he felt, fitting inside. "Why?" My curiosity lingered briefly as my instincts flooded. His arm was shaking, holding himself up, the other wrapped around me, while his eyes closed in concentration.

He exhaled with impatience. "Enough talking," he growled. "The only words coming from your lips better be my name," he teased sweetly, kissing me hard.

Before I could retort, he held onto my hips, abruptly thrusting again, feeling him tighter at this angle.

Lost in each other, we began feeling and exploring, the sensations lighting up in my body. Our quiet sounds mingled and I held onto Edward while we naturally, instinctively formed our pace. I grasped his shoulders more tightly, moaning softly over his lips while we breathed together. I was more convinced than ever that this wouldn't have felt as important if I'd rushed it. He pressed my arched curves to him while his hips met mine and the sweat built on our bodies. My hands went in his hair again, keeping him close as my small cries muffled into his neck. The tension increased, tingling and overwhelming, swirling within.

"I've wanted this for a long time, everything about you." He grunted in a rough whisper, crashing us back down into the pillows. I felt him everywhere, from filling all of my senses, to the thoughts that stretched across the expanse of my mind. I gripped his back, holding him to me as our rhythm continued with increased energy, stroking me deep. Pressing his palm to my knee, he lifted my leg up to his waist, spreading me and pushed harder, deeper, smashing his chest against mine.

"Yes…" I panted sharply as he drove in and out of me, his movements turning unsteady and quick. I knew he was close to release and more than anything, I wanted him to have it, to take his pleasure from me. We rocked together, our limbs clinging, and our rough breathing mixed. The heat billowed between our bodies as he filled me completely, grunting softly in my ear, lips brushing my neck, riding me higher.

"…Edward," I whimpered, suddenly feeling the onslaught of my ecstasy rip through me. My nails dug into his back, tensing beneath him.

My bed frame shook, the wooden boards rattling. "Ugh, fuck… Bella…" He panted, sweating from the effort, answering my soft cries. We clung to each other as he shuddered from his final thrusts, releasing into me.

The blood pounded in my ears and Edward's forehead rested in the crook of my neck as the sounds of our breathing poured into the darkness of my room. I didn't know how long we lay stuck to each other, breathing and sinking into the sheets while our heart rates slowed. He groaned, nuzzling my neck with kisses while I traced my fingertips down his sides to soothe him, the sheen of sweat on his body felt glorious.

Eventually, he lifted his weight inches above me to lean on his elbows and I inhaled a fresh breath, inflating beneath him. Silence filled the air as he looked down at me seriously, keeping me trapped between his arms on each side of my head. I stared at him, watching the way blue shadows played across the planes of his face. Reaching up, I brushed my fingertips through the rain and sweat soaked hair at his temple.

His eyes quickly roamed my face before slowly leaning down to kiss me so tenderly that my throat tightened and my toes curled. No more words were needed for now.

Carefully rolling off me, he settled by my side, bringing the blanket over us, and hugged my body to his chest. Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, Edward's hand gently rubbed my back and shoulders as sleep swiftly overtook us.

Before I drifted, I breathed happiness and sweetness and relief. Whether it was his place or mine, I wouldn't be leaving at sunrise again.

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**I'm passing out hugs and chocolate to anyone who wants :) **


	21. Chapter 21

**Many humble thanks to Vixen1836 for guest beta'ing and to Dollegirl for her critiques on all of my entertaining nonsense, and most of all to my readers for your unwavering support.**

**A friendly reminder, this story is Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight……………………just a ducky number six.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

_"The more you let yourself go, the less others let you go." -Friedrich Nietzsche_

_"What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine." - Susan Sontag_

**Chapter Twenty-One**

The weight shifted and shadows moved slowly behind my lids. My mind was floating with sleep, my body warm and comfortable. A wet sensation tickled my breast, pulling me awake. _Holy hell that felt good..._

With a moan, I lazily opened my eyes to the blue darkness of early morning. Edward's mouth was over me, kissing and gently sucking at my skin. Already feeling the desire stirring my senses, I opened my eyes a little more.

"Mmm…" I hummed, slowly flexing my limbs, feeling the real aches beginning to surface.

Knowing that I was finally awake, Edward cupped my other breast, teasing my nipple. He was eager to play but touching carefully.

"Edward..."

"Again," he mumbled, the tip of his nose lightly running along my neck. I shivered pleasantly.

His warm hands slid down my sides, roving my hips. "We've already been together three times tonight." I wanted to, growing impossibly more addicted to him since the ice had broken, but I was sore, wincing slightly as I stretched beneath him.

"I'll be gentle," he whispered, licking the spot behind my ear. "Promise…"

My eyelids were heavy with lust, my skin vibrating with anticipation as I fought the last remnants of sleep. His lips trailed down my skin again, venturing lower and my body lit up with quiet sensations. I sighed, winding my hands in his beautiful, chaotic hair before roaming down his shoulders. His skin was so warm and soft, stretched over toned muscles.

I'd come to learn that Edward was a passionate lover, demanding yet tender with skilled hands. There was quiet intimacy and whispers, hissing and intake of breath. He knew ways to ignite my impulses—whether it was slow foreplay or flipping a switch inside me. None of it had led to just simple satisfaction. Being with him was a powerful rush.

He dipped into me, gently at first, gradually increasing his pace. By the blue light before dawn, I saw his forehead break into a light sweat as he panted quick and shallow with measured thrusts.

"Bella…" he whispered reverently, adjusting his weight on his arm, drawing his hand to where we joined. I gasped, raking my nails over his skin as he pressed firmly, rubbing circles. My legs tightened around his waist, his fingers sending me over the edge at a slow, powerful force that flooded my system.

He quickened his rhythm, and I cried out breathlessly as the feeling became too much. He felt so good, rocking forward and filling me.

His hand slid to my hip, gliding over my stomach to my breast, grasping. Grunting breathily, he continued to move faster, his breath shortening, until he shuddered to a halt. Releasing inside of me, he swayed forward, hair hanging across his forehead, leaning closer. His full lips hovered over mine, and through heavy lids we stared at one another.

"I feel like some kind of god when I'm inside you," he whispered, with a smile in his scratched voice.

I moaned with a laugh at his playful arrogance, returning my fingers to his hair. "I don't think God would be this cocky about it..."

He chuckled, his breath tickling my skin - damp with sweat as he nuzzled his face into my neck. We sighed and kissed sweetly, languidly, till drowsy sleep started to grip me again.

Would it always be like this? I hoped so.

Edward slid beside me, bringing the sheet up and I turned to him, pressing my forehead into his chest as we drifted again.

He'd kept his promise.

~/~/~/~

_I was in this place again. I knew only because it felt familiar, but I was on high ground. Quiet and peaceful, standing on a sliver of earth. A gentle wind rustled the ground and my clothes, stirring my hair and attention. My eyes followed the fanning path of wind in the grass till my gaze met a bridge. Old and worn like it had been there for decades, roots and weeds growing and forming around the structure. _

_Movement caught my eye. Edward._

_He stood at the other end of the bridge in his usual dark slacks and tie, partially immersed in shadow, smiling. I smiled back, taking him in. I was glad he was here with me in this strange place. My gaze floated passed him, seeing a second bridge over his shoulder, more land, and an endless expanse of sky and water. _

_He had already made progress but was isolated on his little island now, still separated from me. How were we to get out of here?_

_Edward removed his hands from his pockets, walking to the edge of this bridge between us. As he stepped into the sunlight, his hair went off like fire, shimmering copper and gold. He smiled again, motioning me across. Of course I wanted to go to him, and held onto the railing of old wood and rope._

_It was rickety and I looked down to steady myself, stepping carefully on the worn structure. It creaked unpleasantly, swaying slightly and fear channeled through me in an instant. We were very high up, above the chaotic ocean._

_The water._

_I looked down at the dark blue abyss and knew with an instinctual flutter of familiarity that it was an old enemy. I'd been there before. Enveloped and sinking while a fish and mysterious being tried to lead me away with cryptic phrases. I had sunk to the ocean floor, freezing and cracking and aging. Alone._

_The bridge swayed again as I leaned my weight on a second step. The creaking wood scratched at my nerves and I knew I would fail. The tides rippled threateningly, the creatures of the ocean whispering. Terror swept over me like a tsunami, not wanting to fall again. I felt myself losing my grip on the bridge and on this world._

I gasped awake, jolting with the stillness of the bed.

Squinting at the offending sunshine reflecting off my walls, my vision gradually focused. A sleepy face, both rugged and angelic, looked back at me. Suddenly alert but unsure what my expression held, a twinge of concern shadowed his green eyes and he leaned in, pressing his finger to my lips. All of our activities in darkness hit my memory like a bucket of water sloshing against a door.

"You're not going to analyze anything," he groaned, fighting the remnants of sleep.

My eyes widened for a second at his words. Images from my dream receded back into the layers of my subconscious. The more awake I became, the more the worries filtered in. But Edward was here with me, his hair messy against my pillow, just liked I'd wanted. My eyes met his again but before the awkwardness could settle, I kissed him softly. He was warm and solid, smelling like yesterday's rain, fresh with sex, and his own lovely scent.

I spoke quietly as I pulled away. "I was just going to say good morning."

"No you weren't," he countered, sliding his hand under the sheet, bringing me flush against him.

"After I thought about everything, I was going to..."

"Aren't you glad you skipped to the best part then?" he teased, his smile spreading.

I laughed and slid my face into his chest, my forehead resting just below his neck. I was too sore and groggy to protest. It felt amazing to be near him like this and my mind lingered back to last night's passion. I never would have thought...

I wanted to stay like this with him and not think of the realities that would soon invade. _James. Work. Mmm Edward._

He lightly glided his fingers up and down my spine, lulling me back into blissful sleep. I moaned into his skin with a smile.

"We have some things to resolve still." His steady voice vibrated from his chest into my ear, rousing me from my comfort. "You've been keeping a lot of secrets." There was a strange note in his voice.

"Yes... I know," I conceded, growing sullen. I reluctantly stretched my limbs to wake myself more, but still clung to him.

"Details still elude me," he continued on, and I let him. "I thought I was losing my mind at one point... Trying to find the last piece to the puzzle. Trying to understand your methods..."

"I'll explain whatever I can to you, Edward," I assured again, concerned by his woeful declarations.

"I know you will," he said, that strange note back in his voice. A tightness laced with... humor? Puzzled, I was about to start contemplating when I felt something cool on my shoulder, and turned.

I was blinded by yellow and two beady eyes.

Stunned, my thoughts sprinted to realization before stuttering to a halt. _It was ducky number six!_

I shrieked aloud, breaking away from Edward in a tangle of sheets. I couldn't begin to comprehend my state of surprise, panic, and trepidation. I had to act fast. "Oh my God… Give me back that duck!"

Edward roared with laughter, swiping his hand up high, fisting ducky number six like a gold medal.

"Edward!" I was shrill, unraveling myself from the sheets to get it back. So caught up in everything from last night, ducky number six had been the last thing on my mind. It was my one and only triumph and secret satisfaction from him. I had to have it back.

He turned away, trying to dodge me but I landed across his chest, scampering for it. "You've got a lot of charming secrets, don't you?" he teased, lightly batting my hand away.

"It's mine," I gasped with rising distress. Ignoring the protest of my aches, I heaved myself up to get higher ground.

He chuckled wickedly. "By hiding it, you challenged me."

"You can't keep it from me," I said seriously, growing frustrated.

"I should say the same to you," he retorted with an unpleasant grin. "I woke this morning only to see it mocking me from your night stand."

With that, the sheet tumbled to the floor as he moved to the foot of the bed with agility I hadn't expected. Sitting upright on his knees, his thumb pressed into the "6", squeaking it, taunting me with raised brows and his devilishly handsome smirk.

Irritated, I lunged at him, my breasts smashing into his chest, pulling him back down. We fell onto the mattress with a tumble but I was faster in my desperation, straddling his stomach to keep him pinned. I ignored the way the sun sprinkled his hair and lashes, highlighting the brass-bronze tones in thick auburn strands. New stubble grew along his square jaw and his chest rose and fell with his breathing. As I reached forward to snatch the duck from his hand, his tongue darted out and flicked my nipple.

My gasp of outrage trailed off into a stifled moan as he sucked, his free hand sliding down my side, tickling me. I bit my lip with determination and wrapped my fingers around ducky number six.

"Ha!" I bragged, sitting upright and clutching the duck to my chest. "Cheap tricks aren't going to work on me, Edward Cullen!"

His gaze darkened, moving between me and the yellow duck. The twitch of his lip caught my eye, a ghost of a smile flitting across his features, his eyes more striking than before. I stared back, making sure he knew I wasn't going to back down. It was mine and he needed to know his place.

His gaze roamed down my front. I gulped, trying to refocus. I had my duck now...

As I slid off him to get away, he quickly used his legs to tangle us, tossing me down with him so quickly I hardly had time to react. The duck rolled off the bed as Edward pinned my wrists above my head with a hand. "We'll see. _Ms. Swan_," he replied huskily.

"Why do you address me formally like that? You always do when you're feeling especially clever." I was breathing heavy against him, anxious to get number six battled with my need for him. I briefly wondered if my face was really as flushed as it felt.

He wasn't expecting my question and loosened his grip slightly, before tightening his hold, smiling more wicked than I'd ever seen. "I always call you 'Ms. Swan' when you tease me to such an infuriating degree that I want nothing more than to bend you over."

"And give me a spanking?" I asked, laughing. I tried to remember every single time he'd called me Ms. Swan and it was usually when I was most annoyed with him. That had been countless times.

"And other things..." he growled, palming my breast greedily, sparking pleasure.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I turned my face away, unwilling to give in. _Keep your eye on the prize. Ducky number six! _Suddenly, I felt his mouth on mine, distracting me, lulling me into lust again, kissing me sweet and rough. I moaned against his lips, breathy and losing myself already. Our bodies molded into each other.

Edward slowly released my wrists, running his hands down my sides as I drove my fingers into his hair, kissing him deeper. The reminder of our activities from last night made me shiver.

I moaned and we rolled together, bringing me on top again. We began touching with excitement, and as he slid his hands up into my tangled hair, I leaned down, kissing his shoulder while reaching my hand to the floor in hopes of finding the lost duck. Just as my fingertips brushed rubbery plastic, the wind was knocked out of me for a moment. My head spun as Edward pinned me with the entire length of his body weight. I couldn't move.

"You're not going to give up, are you?" he muttered into my shoulder.

"You aren't either," I reminded him, silently cursing at how close I was to getting ducky number six back. But I never would have made it out the door.

He rose onto his elbows the way a tiger traps his next meal. "Those handcuffs would really come in handy right now." He spoke more to himself, looking me over as if strategizing the best way to restrain me.

"Don't even think about it," I warned, squirming to no avail. "Besides, they're in my car."

"The car that we were driving in last night?"

I hadn't thought of that opportunity—not that we had been in the right mindset at the time to use them. My thoughts lingered on the future possibilities though. I looked back to Edward, finding him watching me. He almost smiled.

I tried to rise again but Edward restrained me by the wrists, _again_. I knew he was much stronger than me. Having used a lot of energy in the last twelve hours, I grew tired quickly, but we did this several times anyway because I was stubborn. I flopped back down under his strength, exhausted and glaring. Did he really think he could win by brute strength alone? Women had other devices and I wasn't beneath using them.

I pretended to give up, sunk into the sheet, managing to pout convincingly. As soon as Edward relaxed a bit, thinking he'd won, I shot my hand down between his legs, going straight for his trump card. I squeezed and he hardened in my hand. He gasped, and I intensified my grip, his face flaming with anger and... embarrassment? Surprised, definitely.

Worried that I'd gone too far, my hand stroked him, hoping to soothe our little feud.

"Cheap shot..." he breathed with a shiver, instantly affected.

"Mmm..." I hummed in agreement, watching his eyes flutter. I was becoming more comfortable with the affect I had on him and liked how readily intimate we were together. "Why don't you just let me have the duck," I whispered, tilting my chin up and ran my tongue over his lip.

He pressed me further into the mattress with the length of his body, preventing my hand from working. "You're evil." He growled, looking at me with a mixture of lust and wariness. "I was hoping to keep it as sort of a souvenir in light of our recent progress."

"But—"

"You can keep the penguin from last night. Consider it a trade," he bargained with new urgency. His eyes glittered, excited and hopeful, making it difficult to say 'no'.

"Ugh, don't give me that look..." I whined, squeezing him again, but his weight pressed further into me, officially halting my weak attempts.

He skimmed my collarbone with the bridge of his nose, trying to persuade me. I loved when he did that. My clouded thoughts wondered if he knew that was a particular weakness of mine. Or maybe I just had a weakness for Edward Cullen. His lips lightly dragged along the arch of my neck, sending pleasant shivers through my stomach. _Oh yeah, he knew._

I sighed, my stubbornness wavering when my traitorous body melted into him yet again. "How permanent is this trade?"

"I suppose I can extend you visiting rights." He chuckled against my skin.

"Like joint custody?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The fact that Edward was considering a compromise, or the idea of discussing legal partnership over a yellow rubber duck.

"Monitored visitations."

"What, you don't trust me not to steal him back?" I teased, angling my face toward him with a smile.

"I believe your mind is capable of anything devious," he said in a low voice.

"Then why don't you draw up the papers on Monday," I challenged, determined to stay levelheaded as he licked and sucked my skin.

"Unless..." he gently ground his hips into mine suggestively, "you'd like to seal the deal in a more gratifying way."

That sounded fair. Part of me inwardly pouted, not wanting to relinquish ducky number six. I weakly fought his attentions and the warm, tingling desire, remembering his hopeful, playful eyes. As if I could deny him… I almost laughed bitterly, ready to give in. Languidly stretching beneath him, my stomach growled in answer.

He laughed, drawing himself up. "Perhaps we should start the day, it's almost noon."

I was surprised by how easily he included me in his plans for the day. I'd never woken up to anybody before… That immediately brought up thoughts of what we were going to do. I hadn't planned on entertaining a guest and inwardly winced at my scarcely packed refrigerator of old Chinese food and coffee beans. Oh, and that small piece of cheese in the bottom drawer.

But his smile was infectious, making me feel strangely content. It was so unexpected, my smile faltered, wondering at the peculiar feeling.

Perceptive of the change in me he asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Don't leave," I answered truthfully, looking deep into his eyes. I wanted to spend the day with him, even if it felt new and intimidating. "It's just, I am a bit sore too..." I admitted. Which was true, but it did well to hide my other concerns.

"Okay," he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. My eyes followed his hand before looking back to him. "Why don't we wash up and talk..." he suggested after a moment, placing a quick kiss at my ear and whispered, "join me when you're ready."

I nodded as he rolled out of bed, admiring his body while he walked out of the room. Perfect muscles and long limbs... My eyes rolled up with a groan as my head fell back into the pillows. I was about to call out directions when I heard the light switch flick on.

"Found the bathroom," he called from the hallway.

"Help yourself," I answered, smiling to myself as I imagined him getting the shower ready and soaping up.

When I vaguely heard the water running and the pipes echoing in the walls, I took a moment to think. So much had happened in the last twelve to fifteen hours. There was much that still needed clearing up. One thing I was positive about—these issues wouldn't keep Edward and I separated. We were strong on our own and I didn't want us to be weak together.

As for James, I was hoping to move passed my trail of mistakes and work off the preventative steps I had already taken. Edward wanted to be there for me, too. I had to let him. He wouldn't force me, but it was time to 'man-up' and face the music.

Lastly, my thoughts drifted back to my inhabitable choice of stocked food and decided to take Edward out to breakfast to the diner Emmett and I usually coerced at.

Awareness came back to me as I realized the water was no longer running. My ears piqued and I heard splashing. Dubiously, I pulled myself out of bed, interested in what exactly Edward was doing in my bathroom. I assumed we would be taking a shower together. I quivered at the thought of him wet against me, again.

The bathroom light shone bright in a long, thin line against the closed door in the gray hallway. I carefully pushed it open, my eyes adjusting to the harsh, yellow light.

Edward was taking a leisurely bath with ducky number six floating in the suds around him. He looked up from examining my shampoo bottle in his hand, completely unabashed. Forgetting the duck momentarily, I observed his hair, wet and gleaming under the light. My heart swelled, seeing him playfully waiting for me, like a cute little boy at bath time. What had I done to deserve this? It was impossible to fight that magnetic pull in my gut.

Pushing away my sudden self-consciousness, I took careful steps to him. He reached one soapy hand out, helping me step over the porcelain edge into the warm, silky water.

"Thanks," I mumbled, letting the suds engulf me up to my shoulders. A sigh escaped me at the luxurious soap scents of coconut and strawberry tickling my senses. I attempted to settle myself comfortably and while the tub was a moderate sized corner Jacuzzi, our limbs kept bumping and crossing. One of my calves brushed Edward's thigh, unsure how to position myself until he put his hand over my shin to steady me. I let it rest there, allowing our closeness to spark small excitement. I wondered if he felt it too.

We were silent for awhile, leaning back and relaxing into the suds. Occasionally our eyes would meet, sending that little quiver through me. I kept looking away, wondering how to start the inevitable conversation.

I cleared my throat, receiving an expectant look from Edward. Uncharacteristically, he had nothing to say and I knew I had to speak first. I blushed like an idiot and looked away again, my gaze falling to the yellow duck floating toward me along the water's surface. I reached out for the plastic toy. Ducky number six had been hidden for so long, just like my feelings for him. But now… it was floating between us, inescapable.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I started quietly, turning the duck between my hands. As difficult as it was to rip the band aid off, I knew it would bring us closer. "I did think that the legal procedures alone would be effective but..." _Don't you dare cry again._

Coming to my rescue, Edward spoke. "I don't want you to be alone and afraid." My eyes met his to see him watching me carefully.

"And I don't want you to feel obligated." I didn't want it to turn into Edward feeling solely responsible for me on account of it. I wanted him to be with me because he really wanted to be.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella." He shifted his body to face me more fully. "The moment he started planning this was the moment he challenged me too."

I fought the roll of my eyes. "Please, Edward. The last thing I want is for you to go off swinging your sword. As you said, James is dangerous and—" I sighed, feeling more determined. "I don't want you hurt. Especially if I'm the reason for it."

"Then I think you know how I feel," he said abruptly. "We're more alike than you think..."

"Perhaps." I set the duck free, letting it glide toward Edward through the suds. "What do you suggest I do?"

He answered immediately, as if he'd already thought about it. "To start, you're going to change your home phone number."

"He doesn't even use it any—"

"It's just another method of contact he has with you and we're going to sever every last one."

"Fine." It wasn't worth arguing about. Charlie would understand why, but I would just have to figure out what to tell Renee.

"Second," he continued on with increasing authority, twirling the duck in the water with his finger, "after James's little stunt last night, you might as well get an emergency restraining order until a court hearing can be scheduled." It was strange talking business with Edward in a bathtub.

I nodded, my eyes dropping to the duck between his long fingers again.

"I'll be coming to the hearing with you too."

"Why?" Honestly, I could handle a visit to court for one afternoon...

"James could go into a rage and lash out afterward. He could follow you home or worse..." He cut himself off, too angry to continue that thought. "Now, don't argue with me on this one, Bella." His eyes pleaded behind the growl.

So far, no reasons to dispute him came to mind. I couldn't deny his unmistakable logic. I had to come to terms with the possibility that James was capable of anything. I also couldn't let the fear get to me. Receiving no argument from me, he continued, looking as dignified as a man could in soapy bath water.

"Now what about this P.I. you hired?" He pushed the little duck toward me, creating a path through the suds as it skimmed the water.

"Laurent St. Jean. He's uptown near Capitol Hill." An expensive, quiet neighborhood with a growing gay community. It certainly had character and flair, much like Laurent himself. I already knew Edward was going to look him up so I left it at that.

"I hope he finds something..." he said to himself, rubbing a hand over the scruff of his chin thoughtfully.

"And what did _you_ find out?" I asked, suddenly. I'd almost forgotten about his research on the side...

He leaned back, bracing himself as his eyes flashed sharply. "James has been dipping his hand in too many places. _Dealings_." he emphasized to my confused expression. "It seems that his job isn't entirely 'for the good of the working man'. I don't know what he told you but..."

"I thought he was in Real Estate... buying land before owners went bankrupt."

Edward bristled. "Oh, he buys land alright. Apparently, his dealings are more along the lines of bribery. Threats and offering up small cash rewards to get home owners off their property so he can build and resell for triple the profits."

I wondered why James would be going after a lawyer if he'd been up to no good with these dealings. Unless his stalking was something more than this warped version of romantic possessiveness. I grew more worried, not fully understanding his motives anymore. "Would that be enough to get him behind bars?"

"There have been a few cases where ex-owners complained and tried suing but it all got hushed. If any threats or blackmail could be verified, it might lead to something."

"We would have to find one of these customers then. Depends if he's paying his taxes on the land while building too," I added.

"Exactly," he agreed. "Getting him on repeated offenses would be good but James appears to be a sneaky, shameless bastard." The corners of his eyes tightened. "He's not above anything. His treatment toward you is proof of that."

I was grateful for Edward and suddenly, it seemed… _reckless_ to do anything without his support. What had I been thinking? I didn't want to live in fear, constantly looking over my shoulder. My decisions had seemed so justified but now... my path had been a disaster waiting to happen.

I floated closer to him through the suds, disturbing the water. His eyes softened slightly but he kept his posture tense as I touched his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Edward. For being careless last night, for so many things..." I swallowed hard, looking up at him.

He didn't fully relax under my fingertips and I knew he was still hurt by my actions. "We're not just talking about James anymore, are we?" he asked.

"No, but I hid too much from you. It wasn't right."

He sighed, smiling grimly at me, coming out of his own thoughts. "Don't apologize anymore, Bella. There were some things you didn't know."

"What do you mean?" Looking at him expectantly, we settled lower into the water. Edward brushed his hand over my thigh in an idle gesture of affection.

"You didn't completely understand what you were fighting against last night. I hid a lot from you too. And then got mad at you for not understanding. How I could expect you to feel anything but resentment toward me?" His hand went through his wet hair, flicking droplets everywhere. I was too interested in what he was saying to blink from them as they splattered on my face.

"I've realized that most of my attempts did some damage, confusing you instead." He grimaced into the suds. "I was so fucking arrogant. You didn't fully see it because I didn't let you either."

"See what?" I encouraged in a small voice. I didn't want him to stop talking.

"My intentions. They were only good." He looked between my eyes, hoping I would understand.

"I know." I didn't know the details, but I knew it to be true. After looking passed all the nonsense, I saw them for what they were.

"You do?" he asked, surprised by my willingness.

"I think so. I mean, you were trying to get my attention, caring about the things I did, and it allowed me to get to know you better. Even when it was frustrating as hell."

He laughed. "Well that's definitely putting it simply." It was the first time he smiled since we started this discussion. It was uplifting to see. And he did keep talking, quite a bit actually.

We sat together and I listened, letting him explain what he had wanted to say for so long.

He admitted that while he worked hard up the ladder, he manipulated people when 'the occasion called for it'. And when I mused that maybe Edward had been right about us being similar through independent ambition, he did in fact play office politics.

"I have a way with a people, and became used to things falling into place for me. Whether it was to get a job... A woman... A lot of my methods seemed harmless at the time," he reluctantly confessed.

We sobered at that, keeping contact with our limbs crossed under water and playing with hands. Edward's held mine, rolling his thumb over my knuckles in a soothing method. It helped diffuse the weight of the conversation.

"And you tried to do that with me?" I guessed, peering at him.

"Yes. You constantly resisted me and I thought it was fun to play with you like that. I assumed that you secretly liked it." His grin faded. "But you made it difficult for me to make any real progress. Then I thought you were a secret romantic and preferred bold actions like every other woman, so I finally just admitted how much I wanted you." He shook his head in self-disgust. "Like the arrogant idiot I was, after weeks of jerking you around, I assumed you would throw down the shield and be mine. I hadn't expected your rejection," he concluded, eyes wandering over my face. "I was an idiot."

I glided my hand over his chest and shoulder, bringing up some of the warm, soapy water. "All of the nonsense did work on me, eventually. Don't forget, you got me to go on a date. Dating wasn't something I'd taken seriously for a very long time..." I wound my fingers into the wet hair at his neck. "Until New Years Eve." _Until you..._

He kissed me softly then, hesitantly brushing my wet hair off my cheek with a finger and nibbling at my mouth. There was nothing in the world like kissing a warm, wet, soapy, _naked_ Edward. "I'm sorry I didn't stay that night."

"You were waiting for me," I breathed.

He smiled into my lips. "Yes," he whispered, just before is tongue touched mine. He slid a hand behind my neck while his other palmed my breast, slipping over my wet skin. I moaned, perking up and sliding to him at once. _Magic hands..._

Once I'd tasted him, I knew I would always want it again. My tongue mingled with his eagerly, the kiss turning rough. In light of our little confessions, we were vulnerable and wanting. Beyond simple reassurance, the primal desire to mate started to grip me. My hands tugged his hair, urging him closer.

"It was the best date I've ever had." The words tumbled from my mouth, thoughtlessly. I was unfocused and needing him.

He pulled me onto his lap, moaning, already hard against the small of my back. I leaned into his warm chest as his stubble scraped my neck, his mouth sucking my skin.

This man knew me. He knew how to touch me. His hands drifted up my front, circling my breasts, pressing me to him. My head fell back against his shoulder, eyes rolling up with pleasure. The suds added almost a euphoric, floral scent and slick lubricant to our skin. Breathless and lusting already, I arched, pushing myself further into his hands and closed my eyes.

Edward slid his hand down my stomach, dipping under water to where I wanted him most. Knowing his destination, my breath caught with excitement when his fingers slipped below, circling and pressing. He breathed almost a feral sound at my ear and I was only partially aware of my legs opening further for him. I reached behind to wrap my hands around his neck, holding myself to him while his other hand played with my breast.

"Edward..." I sighed, turning my face toward him. Our lips met just as his fingers dipped inside me. Gasping against his mouth, we began moving together.

He hardened further against my back and memories of last night flashed. I had felt him massaging my breast as he held me to his chest, playing with me, seducing me with whispers. It was soft and sweet in the darkness as he pushed me into the mattress from behind.

"Is this what you want, Bella?" he asked low and rough, instigating me like the bastard he was. As if he needed to know that this would last longer than one night. My moan was cut short in a huff, breathing unevenly. He wanted me to beg when I already wanted to give. With every flick and push of his fingers, I grew more aroused, on the path toward release.

"I want you," I managed as his fingers continued.

The way his chest tightened and his breathing sped; I could tell he was concentrating on pleasing me. I moaned, and he felt so good, but his confessions and questions confirmed what I'd suspected. Though we hadn't always pursued each other in the most direct ways, the fact that we both still gravitated to one another, despite all these issues, was profound.

He made me feel desired and appreciated. He _wanted_ me. Part of me was still trying to grasp that, but the other part wanted to show him what I felt, too. I wasn't good with words - just like Charlie – but I could give more than I had already given. He had waited too long for all of this.

The familiar sensations vibrated under my skin. I was already close and had to stop his fingers. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do.

Forcing some intelligible thoughts through the mind fog of lust, I turned in his arms and slid up his body, placing my thighs on either side of his waist.

Looking up at his now confused expression, I was uncertain how to say what I wanted. Instead of speaking, I leaned forward, pressing my breasts against his chest, kissing his lips, his body relaxing against the wall of the tub. He was surprised, but receptive, unsure what to expect from me.

"I can make you feel good too..." I offered, fighting back some emotion. My fingers slowly found their way into his hair behind his ear as I began to anxiously plot my next moves.

"I do feel good," he answered in a thick voice, enjoying the way my fingers pulled lightly at his dripping strands. He shivered under my fingertips, the rivulets of waters rolling down his skin.

"I can make you feel _better_," I said low and breathy on his lips, barely touching them, teasing him with the promise of a kiss. I could feel him so hard against my stomach already.

He sighed, and leaned back further, waiting to see what I would do. I was inches away from his erection under the water, but I decided to take my time with the rest of him. Lightly placing kisses at the hollow of his throat, I nibbled and licked my way up, his throat flexing with his loud swallow.

Was he nervous? I wasn't sure, but he relaxed further as I slid my hands up his chest, his arms disappearing beneath the suds, giving me free reign over him.

I leaned closer, pressing our bodies together completely, allowing my sensitive ache to brush his tip under water, my palms slowly moving up his chest again. He hissed and cursed under his breath, encouraging me. I pulled his sweet lips between mine, kissing and nibbling his mouth, his lips wet, soft, and full. The contrast of his stubble scraping my chin was so sexy, increasing my desire for him.

Sliding upward, I sucked his neck, lowering my hand slowly, reaching between us through the water to grip him. Sensing his alertness, my head turned up from kissing to see his eyes opened, and head rearing forward. With a firmer grip, I grabbed him hard, pressing his erection to my wet heat. I grinned as he hissed once more, cursing low and gritty. His responses reinforced the fact that only I could make him feel this way. It was a validation beyond pure physicality or anything I'd ever felt before.

With a groan, his hands gripped my hips, but rested there, letting me lead. The tips of my breasts grazed his chest, causing another current of lust.

"This lack of control must be killing you," I teased. "But I want to do something nice for you."

He stuttered a reply, his breathing picking up as I rubbed down his length, sliding my fingers around the tip, pressing him against me. He groaned, and I pulled back from kissing him, seeing his eyes closed, his head leaning against the tub.

"How's that?" I whispered, seeing his eyes open again. They were filled with desperate lust and I could feel his pulse thumping wildly in my hand.

He couldn't decide whether to watch or relax. "Mmm... B- Bella." He moaned unsteadily, succumbing, leaning his head back against the porcelain edge again, and exposing his throat.

Delighted by his responses, I ground into him more forcefully, loving the powerful affect I had over him. The water started to sway around us. We moaned softly together as I raised slightly, rubbing down on him, my slickness and the warm water lubricating the friction.

"Shit. You don't know what you do to me." His breathless voice was hoarse—unrecognizable—as both of his hands tightened against my hips.

I rose up on my knees, kissing his lips, easing myself down on him slowly. All soreness from before didn't matter; we groaned breathlessly as he filled me completely, the intrusion warm and welcome.

"Christ," he whispered as I moaned with pleasure, holding onto the back of his shoulders now.

Flush against his body, I began small, shallow thrusts, gently rolling my hips as the water moved choppy against us. Shuddering at how perfectly he filled me, the pleasure stretched slow and lingering. Empowered, I pressed against his reclined form, meeting his eyes as we drifted to only the feeling.

He exhaled shakily against my lips, sliding his palm up my back, the warm water trickling in paths from his hand. His fingers slipped under my wet hair, pressing at the base of my neck to draw my face closer, and I took him faster, swiveling my hips in our rhythm.

"Oh... my god..." He moaned, his fingers digging into my hair.

"Do you like that?" I asked, genuinely wondering. My strokes were circular, taking him deeper. Water and suds began splashing. Edward grew more eager and I ran a hand through his hair, pulling the strands.

"Fuck... more than you know." He gripped me then in one hand, clutching the rim of the bathtub for leverage. Angling himself back, he bent his knees slightly to thrust, that first movement hitting me deeper. I dug my nails into his shoulders as we began to move more forcefully.

I ignored the hard surface of the floor of the tub under my knees and increased our pace. I breathed hard as his hand drew down my side, holding my breast, his mouth closing over my nipple. Moaning at the hot and wet, he sucked the suds off the tip before nibbling me as we continued, licking and nuzzling the soapy skin. My head spun, my body prickled and lit up.

My sounds and quick breaths mixed with his sharp grunts against my skin. We were amazing like this—in tune with each other. The intimacy turned wild as I shifted against him harder, moving in quick succession to meet his eager hips.

"Ugh, I'm gonna..." He didn't have time to finish speaking as he came hard. I slowed to a stop as his stomach clenched and his whole body tensed and shuddered in my arms. I cradled his head to my chest, threading my fingers in his hair.

He calmed a bit but his breathing was still erratic as he searched for my lips. Pulling the sides of my face in his hands, he kissed me deeply in a frenzy of tender passion. We kissed for a while, longer than necessary until I laid against his chest with my head on his shoulder, listening to his pounding heart. I played with the suds on his skin, massaging the fragrant soap soothingly. When his breathing slowed he shifted slightly.

"Bella..." He sighed, lifting my face up to him. "That was more than nice. Just when I thought I knew everything about you..." He trailed off in glazed awe.

"You have plenty to learn Edward," I teased.

His own smile quickly vanished. "Were you satisfied?"

"Yes," I lied, looking down at the soapy bubbles on his skin. The tingles had faded, but I was still swollen.

"You're lying," he said immediately, sliding his hands up my sides.

"How did you..."

"You blushed and averted your eyes to my cock." He chuckled softly, slipping his hands between us, roaming my breasts and venturing lower underwater to where we were still connected. "And you're much too alert..."

I closed my eyes. "It was for you..." I murmured, quickly realizing that I was fighting a losing battle.

That made Edward pause and he attempted to sit up, slipping out of me. His eyes briefly darted over my shoulder. Without giving me time to ask, he was upright and lightly pushing me back. He looked at me hungrily, leaning into me with his hands trailing along my thighs, over the curve of my waist. Staring into his eyes, I was unable to think straight as he slid me up the side of the Jacuzzi, settling me on the edge in the corner. The cold tile was startling, erecting my nipples.

His fingers rubbed along the curve of my pelvis and down between my legs. I jerked involuntarily at the spiked tingle of pleasure.

"Just relax..." Edward coaxed, his voice deep and breathy as he knelt down to touch me. This wasn't new to me, but I was nervous with Edward and held onto the tile wall behind me to keep steady. And yet, I couldn't believe what he was about to do. The anticipation alone increased my arousal, but his fingers lulled me further into hazy bliss.

Without pausing, he trailed kisses up the inside of my leg, his stubble scraping my skin. When I felt his hot breath close, the nervous excitement spread all over my stomach. He pulled his hand away from my wet skin, replacing it with his mouth. Kissing and sucking, he sent me quickly into euphoria. Instantly, my body weakened and he tilted his head to get a closer angle, sighing with pleasure against my clit, as if he'd been secretly anxious for this.

His wet, soapy strands tickled my inner thigh just as his tongue darted out slowly and I forgot everything else in the world. It slid over my throbbing clit, shocking me with tingles and heat. My breath caught and it was the sudden quiet that made me realize I'd been moaning loudly, spurring Edward on.

He nibbled and began a steady rhythm with his tongue. Instinctively my head tilted back and hips arched forward for more. My moans turned desperate, my fingers sore from clenching the wall. Tightly wound, I rocked my pelvis to his working lips, wild and thoughtless. His stubble gave a delightfully rough edge to the pleasure and I whimpered uncontrollably for more.

"Mmm…" He groaned softly, knowing I was close, the sound so near where I ached. Going faster, he sucked eagerly, sending me into a fit of intense shuddering and sensitive orgasm.

My hand flew to his hair as my cries of release echoed off tile and walls, seeing white behind my lids.

Edward didn't relent until my fingers clutched at his strands, my body trembling and weak. Before I could recover, he rose to his knees, circling his arms around my waist. My hands went to his hair again for support, clinging to him as he placed a kiss below my breast.

Completely spent, I slid back down the tub in Edward's arms. "You didn't have to do that," I breathed, my body feeling tingled and unhinged, sweaty in the lukewarm water.

"Neither did you," he said simply, winding his fingers in the tangled ends of my hair.

I molded closer to him, overwhelmed, not trusting myself to speak all of a sudden. Maybe it was the intensity of the orgasm, or his thoughtfulness, or everything we had experienced in such a short time, but either way, being with him hit deep in me.

I wasn't going to cry, but the simple things he did and said were special, new, and unexpected. And it was at this moment that all the wonder and revelations rolled its weight in my mind. The last 24 hours _were_ heavy in comparison to the last few months. I wanted to move forward without getting upset over every happy thing that happened to me.

After minutes of soothing touches, I finally spoke. "Promise me something, Edward?" I placed a small kiss on his chest.

"What is it?" He idly drew his hand up my back.

"I want us to proceed carefully about James. Don't push me aside and commandeer everything." I didn't want James to catch either of us off guard and more importantly, I didn't want Edward and me to lose this.

He didn't answer right away.

"Edward…" I lifted my face, keeping my chin rested on his chest.

"Fine," he grunted. "I'd rather you stick to my side than be on your own anyway." After a moment he added under his breath, "at least I'm not the last to find out." Feeling me stiffen against him, he titled his face down toward me. "Am I the last to know?"

"No," I said quickly. I didn't want him to get angry with the others for knowing. Especially Jasper. There was no reason for this to create a rift in their friendship. Because of me… Jasper had been good to his word and not told Edward. It must have been hard for him, knowing his feelings on the subject loud and clear. I would have hated not being able to confide in Alice about something, which only made me feel worse about my actions.

I refocused back on Edward, who was watching me again. "You're not the last to know," I confirmed, thwarting any further explanation.

A knock at the door sounded, jerking us both upright. I cursed under my breath at the interruption. Couldn't anyone use the phone? If it was Marc this time, I was really going to give him an earful.

Before I could move, Edward swiftly stood up, splashing water in my face from the sudden movement. I wiped the water out of my eyes, an indignant tirade already forming in the forefront of my mind. Edward towered over me, water cascading down his body. Words died on my lips, too stunned to do anything but gawk. Ignoring my flabbergasted expression, he stepped over the tub's edge, grabbing my towel on the hook to wrap around his waist.

It was enough for me to regain my thoughts. "Edward!"

"Stay here," he ordered, already flashing into alertness, his posture on guard. It was hard to take him seriously in pink but I swallowed back my laugh.

I folded my arms across my chest. "And if there is any real danger, what are you going to do in pink towel?"

The knock sounded again, heavier and loud.

He shot me a glare and departed from the bathroom, knotting the towel around his hips. Huffing, I stood as well just as I heard Edward open the front door.

But the voice I heard made me freeze.

Silence. Then muffled talking ensued. My face began to burn with embarrassment as I slowly knelt back down into the cooling bathwater, hiding under the deflated suds while inwardly cursing Jasper for finding a loophole.

"I'll just go to his address right now and beat the shit out of him." Emmett's voice rose, traveling down the hallway to my ears.

Edward quickly responded with his own tone of legal advisement, which received more angry grumbles from my best friend.

I could just imagine their initial confrontation of Emmett expecting to see me at the door, but was greeted with Edward in _nothing_ but a pink towel instead. Mortification rushed in, making me shy, giddy, and panicked.

They continued talking business like it was an afternoon meeting in Edward's office. Nevertheless, I remained hidden, playing with ducky number six in my impatience. After a few more moments, Emmett called out with poorly concealed amusement, "See ya later Bella!"

My hands still flew to my face while I sunk lower, even after the sound of the door closed following Emmett's departure. Last we spoke, I had been adamant about not being _involved_ and yet, Edward was here.

Seconds later, Edward's padded steps grew louder down the hall until he entered the bathroom again. Sitting upright, I looked at him anxiously.

"Well, that was interesting," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Interesting?" I urged, about to tear something in my impatience.

"It appears Emmett just found out about James moments ago from _Jasper_…" He rolled his narrowed eyes toward me. I gave him a very lame smile in return. Unimpressed, Edward continued. "Anyway, Emmett came by to check and see if you were alright before going over to James's place for a beat down. Strangely enough, I just gave him the same talk you gave me before about not 'rushing in to swing the sword'." He shook his head wryly.

"But this is what I'm talking about, Edward. I live here and that's not going to change. I should be able to answer my own door. You can't push me aside and control everything like I'm a helpless lamb."

"You are a lamb," he interrupted.

I exhaled, giving him a disapproving look. I stood from the water, turning on the showerhead to rinse off quickly, using the short time to gather my thoughts. Edward leaned against the wall, watching me thoughtfully with one hand resting on the towel at his hip. I didn't want to be mad at him over this, but I had to set this precedence or we would never progress on equal terms.

"Edward… you just agreed not to take the reins," I started, stepping out and wrapping a fresh towel around me. Placing ducky number six beside the sink, I went to the mirror, attacking my tangled hair with a brush.

He pushed off the wall to stand behind me. Our eyes met in the mirror as I felt the heat of his chest on my back. His hand stopped mine, startling me as he slowly pulled the brush out of my grasp, our eyes connected the entire time.

"I lied," he answered simply, gently dragging the brush through my hair to loosen the knots.

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**Groaning and splashing, and…..naked wrestling? Oh my!**

**I am deeply touched by Phoenixhunter47's rec of IHYKM on The Backporch Recs Blog, orchestrated by Kuntrygal and Cella. Thank you ladies! You can check out their other fun fic recs at thebackporchrecs(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com**.** And a big thanks to Americnxidiot for mentioning Lawward on the TLYDF for her AHWards (all-human Edwards) character exploration post.**

**Check out Rosette-Cullen, one of the nicest authors in the fandom I know. She's got tons of stories and one-shots from All That Could Have Been, The Walk of Shame, The Forgiving Sea, etc, and lately I've been helping myself to her buffet of different flavors. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you for sticking with me and my horrible inconstancy in updating. And a big welcome to the newcomers, I appreciate you reading! This month really hit me hard so I apologize for not replying to all of your reviews—I am still trying to catch up. Thanks to nicnicd for guest beta'ing.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time." – Mark Twain_

**Chapter Twenty-two**

"Good weather on Saturday."

"Yes..." I laughed, cuddling the receiver into my shoulder to type at my computer. "The sun really sets off the _pink _hues at my place."

"I was there for business." Emmett had been acting casually ignorant of the whole encounter with the towel-clad man in my apartment thing. I guessed if it wasn't in a gym locker room, then it didn't count for him.

"Right." Playing along, I used the first neutral word that came to mind. "It's fine, Emmett." There was nothing _fine_ or pleasant with my best friend, ex-manwhore of the year finding Edward close to naked at my door. If there was one thing I did regret missing out on; it was the look of shock on both their faces in my doorway. Missing Emmett's eyes pop out of his head was regretful.

"Completely normal," he replied gruffly, forcefully clearing his throat. "But if you don't mind me saying, pink really isn't a fitting color for your apartment—not that there was anything unusual about that. Some guys– people– I mean _apartments_, like pink I guess..."

I was pretty sure that pink suited Edward. Or perhaps it was nothing but the towel... "What color would you suggest? If you had called in advance, I would have dressed _my apartment_ in blue for your 'business meeting.'" I bit down on my lip to keep from laughing.

"Well... it's not so much the exact color as it was the amount of...color." It was amusing when Emmett felt uncomfortable—it was so rare. He was shameless all year 'round.

"Maybe I should have the curtains, fabric, _everything_ stripped next time you come over—since colors don't seem to be one of your preferences..."

A coughing fit replied as I rethought my exact words. I suppose Emmett would have to get used to Edward pairing nicely with just about everything in my life. I found myself almost looking to Emmett for guidance in the relationship department, when it was he who had usually sought mine. Ironic how circumstances flipped. What was the secret to a smooth, easy-going relationship? I knew that despite the terrifying happiness I felt, I wanted to adjust with Edward and not allow my worries to drive us apart. Anymore.

Coming out of my thoughts, I caught, "...some notification if this is going to be a regular thing."

"Em, I'm not going to put a sock on the door handle just for the occasions that you decide to show up," I teased, trying to keep a straight face at my computer screen.

"Well no, but..." Emmett seemed at a loss for words, but only momentarily. "You don't see me answering Rose's door in her bathrobe."

"You wear Rosalie's bathrobe behind closed doors?" I snickered, just imagining… I had a good hunch that Rosalie Lawrence's skin only touched silks and frills, tailored to her curves—not to Emmett's.

"You're going off the point," he remarked grouchily as I laughed. "So what, you and Edward are a regular thing now?"

"Sounds like you're getting off the point now..." I quipped. Then I heard the gap of reception grow wide as Emmett leaned away from the receiver, allowing huffing and puffing of gym activity to fill the pause.

"_Start with the ten pounders, I'll be right there!"_ he called to someone on his end before coming back to the phone. "Well I'll be damned, is Bella Swan off the market?! I never thought you'd be that stupid," Emmett joked, sneering into the phone.

"Speak for yourself," I replied coolly. "And I thought you liked Edward."

"I guess I'm just not used to you moving on from 'us'. It's like the end of an era," he sang sentimentally. In a sense he was right, we were growing up. I snorted with a smile as he added, "but hey, now the four of us can do that couples shit."

"Couples shit?"

"Yeah, ya know… what ever the fuck couples do."

I wasn't sure I was ready to start planning dates with Emmett and my boss just yet. As it was, we were anything but traditional. However, I thought it was about time I extended Rosalie an invitation to lunch or something. My best friend was in love and I had been extremely wrapped up in my own issues.

Despite Emmett dropping off the face of the earth with his lovely lady, I couldn't help but wish for more alone time with Edward, too. "Sure, we can do that 'couple shit'… But don't forget, I gave you space during your 'honeymooning' and now you're going to give me mine."

"See you in two months then," he laughed.

My own laugh trailed off as I imagined those two months under the sheets, sporadically coming up for air, Edward and I burning into each other... My stomach turned to syrup and my mind wandered further. The way our limbs tangled together, his lips soft and heated in the curve of my neck, my fingers twisting in his hair...

"Are you even listening to me?"

I sighed, coming back to reality. "Not really."

"_I said_, we still have James' address in our records from his gym membership. If that court hearing doesn't do shit, I know where to find him," he declared in a dangerously low tone of voice. What was it with every man pounding his chest? At this point, Jasper seemed like the only sensible man out of the three.

"And until then, you can save your energy for Rosalie." My tone may have been anxious, but I was hoping he wouldn't do anything rash. Emmett was strong and fierce, but what if James got the upper hand in some way? "I appreciate the offer, Em," I replied, fighting the wave of uneasiness.

Grunts from heavy lifting resounded on his end, nearby in the background. "Fine," he conceded as the sound of a weight fell, metal clanging against metal. "Shit, I got to go."

"Sure thing." And we both hung up with a click—or in Emmett's case, a slam from his quick dash.

I supposed that conversation could have been worse. I still felt overly warm and was about to open a window when Alice walked in. Noting my flushed expression, she halted with a spreading smile.

Round two.

"What's Edward done now?" she asked casually, not bothering to hide her burning curiosity. "It looks like date two was satisfactory."

Four times of good performance in one night. I'd give him an 'O' for Outstanding.

Alice watched as my face blossomed red all over. I'd almost forgotten that she knew nothing of the proverbial rollercoaster that had transpired. I crossed my legs as she approached closer, her hazel eyes glittering with interest.

I laughed nervously. "Well yeah..." I started as she practically licked her chops. "There were some bumps in the road... but it did end with some unexpected events. In a good way." My eyes rolled toward hers for that alert, greedy reaction I knew I would receive.

"Oh?" She half sat on my desk, settling in for a good story. "Did your balloon strings get tangled? Did you collide with him on the skating rink? Did you hit his target and—"

"It was fun at the carnival," I interrupted, halting her cheesy innuendos. "Then he found out about James."

Her eyes widened with shock at my blunt confession. Or perhaps it was in the offhanded manner in which I delivered it.

"Oh my goodness, how did that happen?"

I started from the beginning, detailing the evening but leaving out the hurtful comments Edward and I had exchanged. Alice listened with rapt attention, her expressions changing through out the story.

"That's scary that James would go that far," she remarked with a furrowed brow. "He's not very passive anymore."

"Exactly." I sighed with worry. "He purposely used a photo with Edward in it. I can't even tell you how much that upsets me, Alice."

She rubbed my arm soothingly. "I'm more worried about you than Edward. You always put too much on your shoulders."

"Honestly Alice, I don't want anyone getting involved if they're going to get injured. Or worse…" I spoke low, glancing at my threaded hands.

She gasped with disbelief. "He would never… You think James is capable of such things?"

"I don't know, but it's a possibility isn't it? He wants _me._"

"Bella," she said firmly, "you know you can count on us. Now stop this kind of talk. Rosalie could probably take him out as much as Emmett. And Jasper is always reliable, though lots of people wouldn't know to look at him. I assure you Bella, he is deceptively strong and can hold his own." Her chin raised a notch as she straightened, determined to convince me.

I inwardly smiled at Alice. I did know that despite his easy going nature, Jasper was capable of a lot, having been saved by him once already. He just didn't go around broadcasting his flexed muscles to intimidate the way Emmett did. "Fine, let's not dwell on this anymore. Don't you want to know the rest?"

Alice left it alone, her eagerness for juicy details winning over her lecture. I also wanted to continue, hoping to shake off my dark mood. As I came to the end, Alice looked positively gushy, melting into a sappy human puddle beside me while exclaiming squeals of 'aww', her eyes dancing with happy adoration.

"That's the best story I've ever heard, Bella."

"Well, things are just starting up, nothing major…" I tried to brush off her outburst of attention, having my love life—or lack of—being the center of a conversation had never made me feel entirely comfortable. But seeing my tentative happiness reflected on her features, I couldn't help but sink into the elated moment.

"Oh stop," she scolded. "I bet there were enough sparks flying between you two to blow out a few lights on that ferris wheel." I had to giggle at that image. "I mean, this is like the type of story you tell your grandchildren—minus the stalker."

"I guess... I mean, I am happy with the way things are going right now." The actual relationship had barely gone anywhere, but I was still feeling edgy and excited, almost giddy over the tiniest things. Not that I would ever mention this to anybody.

All of a sudden Alice hopped off my desk with a burst of energy. "You have to tell me everything. How was he?"

Which time? I fought my own smirk and shook my head. "Nope, not this time. That's between me and him."

"What?! You tell me about every date you've ever had." She pouted, folding her arms.

"Yeah but that was all bad stuff. This is completely different."

"I've told you everything about Jasper! C'mon Bella, this isn't nasty boy locker room talk. You can share with me." She looked close to tears, her lower lip quivering.

"Argh, fine. You can stop fake-crying now." I huffed, scowling at her.

She giggled, and settled back on my desk, chipper as a morning blue jay.

"He's really good at... everything. I mean, we're still learning about each other but he does have some... effective moves." I paused, only to have Alice stare me down, expectant. I hated when she did that. "Well, he likes to take his time, and then sometimes he just knows exactly what I need right away... And he's certainly not lacking in the umm..." I knew I was as red as beet by the end of my messy confessions.

"I bet he's got _fire_—there's not red in that head of hair for nothing," she teased.

"Alice..." I scolded weakly, glancing at the vacant doorway. I really wished she'd keep her voice down. But again, I couldn't help sharing just a little more. "It's not so much the hair as much as it is the hands," I bragged quietly. "I've always been particular about that part of the anatomy and he has very nice hands."

Her lips parted in silent amazement, eyes even wider than before.

I fought a small shiver, grinning like an idiot to myself. I definitely needed to open that window now. I rose from my chair, reaching to unlatch the old fixture and inhaled the chilly gust of wintry air. "Anyway, how's Jasper?" I asked, looking over my shoulder. It was a very poor method of changing the subject, but I needed to or I would be re-crossing my legs all afternoon.

"I love my Texan," she said smartly, hopping off my desk again. "It's been over a year and I still can't believe I found him." She smiled, her voice already far away. She was probably dreaming about all those china patterns I knew she had dog-eared in the _Crate&Barrel_ catalogs.

"It's amazing how fast things progressed with you two," I commented. I had always taken their fast union as if it were the most common thing in the world, but after being with Edward, I knew that some things took real effort. And now, I couldn't fully understand how it had been so easy for her and Jasper—easier than buying chapstick.

Catching the crinkle between my brows, her smile softened. As usual, Alice offered a random statement of wisdom for me to think on before returning to her computer. "Don't worry about how it all starts, Bella. You and Edward just have this _thing_."

"Thing?"

"Yes. It's not all the little reasons why you're different that matter. Jasper and I are sheer proof of that." I heard her chair slide out as she took her seat and began typing, officially ending the conversation. I didn't mind, my thoughts were busy.

She was right of course. I couldn't think of two people with more differences ending up together and yet, their hearts were in the right place.

Jasper came from a small wood chopping town in Texas, mellow but more intelligent than his peers. Alice was a city girl, daddy's little princess, but her crazy flair was giving and maternal in its own way. Somehow all of their decisions in life had led to Lawrence Associates in Seattle, Washington, and to each other.

It seemed very 'meant to be' and while I wanted to understand the bigger picture of 'Edward and Bella', I still wondered if things would work out for us, too.

~/~/~/~

Meeting greens eyes and slow smiles, I munched across the table from Edward with quiet contentment. I hadn't gotten a whole lot of work done at my desk this morning, day dreaming about a certain coworker in my doorway. By noon he actually _was_ leaning in my doorway and I thought it was part of my mooning hallucinations, looking more real from my lack of midday nutrition. He raised a brow at me, enjoying himself when I stared dreamily at him before realizing he was real. Perfect.

With wide eyes and an _oh shit_ expression, I had turned to bury myself in my purse, unnecessarily shoving around its contents. "So where do you want to eat today?"

"If only my apartment was nearby," he said beside my ear, startling the shit out of me—but in a good way. His scent of vanilla and soap lingered on my senses.

"And why is that?" I asked, slowly turning in my chair to face him.

"Because, you look good enough to eat." He did look hungry... And his eyes dropped to my lips. He was definitely close now, but not in an obviously inappropriate way. I noticed the difference though, and gulped under his gaze, licking my lips nervously.

That was apparently the wrong thing to do as his eyes met mine again, simmering. Aware of people in the office doing their jobs I stood, dispelling the charged mood.

"How about Korean barbecue? I'm in the mood for something," and I looked at him pointedly, "hot and smokey."

With that, I swept past him, leaving Edward in a fog, groaning softly.

Admittedly, I wanted to keep Edward yearning and interested. It was true that he'd made the constancy of his feelings known, but I was used to my alluring attributes to the male sex, and the power that came with it. It was because of our many months of cat and mouse that I didn't want him to give up on me just because he now had me.

Edward quickly caught up to my stride though, and held the doors for me on our way out into the chilly air.

So here I was, exchanging glances with him over our hot and smokey barbecue luncheon. I was becoming visually stimulated every time his tongue darted out to lick the sauce from the corner of his mouth. He was a very clean eating partner, but I still hoped his tongue would miss a tiny spot of sauce for me to lick off myself. We weren't even halfway through our meal yet.

"Edward..." I started, trying to latch on to any means of conversation to distract myself from his eating mannerisms. "How's your day progressing so far?" _Lame, Swan._

"I haven't been getting any work done today," he replied between mouthfuls, stabbing meat onto his fork.

"I think I know what you mean," I said, idly mashing the rice with my own utensils.

He smiled slightly and leaned forward. "Have dinner with me tonight."

"I suppose I can fit it into my schedule of TV and couch laying," I teased. His curved lip spread into a real smile, carrying a seductive quality that caught me off guard. I forced the lump of food down my throat, begging my ovaries to sit still.

"So..." I was opting to change the subject again, trying to prevent myself from combustion for the second time today. "I was thinking... since we're doing this together, could you give me a copy of James' file? I'd like to see if I can pursue our line of reasoning."

"Those lines led to nothing so far." He began, chewing slowly. "I made a few phone calls today but it doesn't look promising yet," he sighed. It was suddenly apparent that he was trying to keep some frustration about it under wraps. "The one person that actually picked up was too afraid to answer my questions and hung up. The best I could do was leave messages for now with his other past customers. Hopefully someone will call back."

That had me worried. There was nothing Edward couldn't do. I reminded myself that we were stronger as a team. "I can still pick up the slack. Worse comes to worse, I'll just make house calls if I have to."

"You're not going all over the city by yourself," he growled with flashing eyes.

"You didn't give me the chance to invite you along," I replied gently, inwardly pouting at his brash assumption. Logically, we could save time following separate paths, but it was clear that wouldn't be an option with Edward. Considering that we were doing our best to be honest with each other, I couldn't deny him the will to be protective since I would feel the same way if the circumstances were switched.

His face softened slightly at my expression and he reached to clasp my hand. "Sorry…" he said stiffly, brushing his thumb along my knuckles.

"It's fine. Forget it," I assured, feeling uncomfortable by our sensitive exchange. I supposed that with every step, we would be naturally aligning and opening our boundaries. It would just take some time. However, the subject was still tender. I couldn't wait for the whole ordeal with James to be done with.

Edward suddenly tilted his head, considering. "Perhaps I can make it up to you tonight. You could stay over at my place..."

My ovaries perked up at that and I tried in vain to quell the sudden excitement that left me flushed, and weak in the knees. My inner cheerleader was dancing, but my rational side intervened. "Well I don't know, Edward. It's a school night..."

"Oh come on," he urged, firmly keeping my hand in his, and began rubbing his leg against my shin, slowly and with purpose. "I doubt you'll regret it." His gaze leveled with me, smirking playfully.

I tried to rearrange my limbs in some form of subtle escape under the table. These little touches shouldn't have been setting me off like this, but after two rounds of questioning about 'Edward and Bella' this morning and my mind continuously wandering to sweeter moments, I was already hot and on edge.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked skeptically, staring into his green eyes. I briefly wondered if the wait staff would care if I started a passionate make out session in our booth. I pushed away the fantasy. I had to concentrate, although now I wasn't sure what I had been trying to focus on—other than him.

He pressed his leg into mine more firmly, rubbing his ankle up more slowly, trapping me. "Well, I wouldn't mind cooking you dinner. And slowly feeding you. Then eating dessert off of you."

"How many courses is this meal?" My voice was breathy and not entirely steady.

He leaned across the table until he was inches from my face, speaking low. "As many as you want there to be."

"Goodness, Edward..."

His gaze flickered around us. "What? No one can hear me."

"It's not that. It's just..." I wished this restaurant would turn up the air conditioner.

"What?" he asked, insistently.

We paused, staring at each other. Edward kept his expectant eyes trained on me, that small curve of a smirk forming. Bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. His lips parted as if to speak and I caught a glimpse of his tongue resting between the small space. My breath hitched.

"You're trying to kill me again, aren't you?" Dropping my fork, I grabbed him, sliding my fingers to the back of his hair and closed the small distance between us.

I moaned with a sigh as soon as our lips touched, hungrily molding my mouth into his. I needed this small sampling to last me through the rest of the day. Kissing me back, warm and soft, he was reserved in his participation. I wasn't surprised, knowing things couldn't lead to anything in a restaurant, but part of me pretended that there was nothing around except us. I knew I needed to get a grip on myself, but that rational side was falling away. After a few moments, my tongue slipped passed his lips, touching and sliding along his. He pulled away with a soft groan.

With scorching eyes, he inhaled a calming breath and checked his watch. "Our time is up, Ms. Swan." _Ms. Swan_. A ripple of something pleasant went through me.

"You shouldn't have instigated me."

He smirked and tossed his napkin on the table. "And yet, I never regret it."

~/~/~/~

Lawrence Associates' engine was put in idle as we worked to tie up loose ends and continued fact checking in between scheduled court sessions. Having pushed through the rest of my work with a distracted mind, I was relieved but no less restless as the end of the day rolled to a stop.

I dashed out with a goodbye to Alice, impatient as hell to leave.

As several people filed to the elevator, I caught sight of Edward with his coat and briefcase, moving passed the crowd. Seeing his impatience made me smile. Nearing me, he carefully didn't make eye contact, but I felt his whole body aware of mine. I looked straight ahead, mindful of Rosalie's warning as I watched the doors close and the flurry of people pressing buttons to the Lobby and Garage levels.

Somehow, with everyone traveling in and out, Edward ended up right next to me just as the cart halted at the garage. He ignored my presence except for the flex of tendon at his throat. Then I felt small movement and the brush of something at my waist. Shooting a sidelong glance at him, I slipped a hand to my pocket, feeling a folded piece of paper.

When the doors parted, I went straight to my car, flopping in my seat behind the wheel. Immediately pulling the note free, I quickly scanned the words.

_Drive home._

Not what I was expecting, but it was just like him to be simple and vague.

Starting the engine, I reversed out of the garage and eased onto the main street. After a couple of blocks into my usual route, a silver car suddenly flashed into view, reflecting in my mirror. My heart seemed to hiccup and my hands tightened on the wheel.

Slightly annoyed, I sped up, glancing in my mirror only to see him smile. Edward kept up with me easily due to frequent stop lights and the usual rush hour jams. The only thing I was working toward was new brakes and tires.

Pulling into a parking spot across the street from my building, I quickly killed the engine and hurried up to the front door. No sooner did Edward stop short, double parking next to my car. I wasn't even sure if this was part of a competition, but I wanted to win. However, I fumbled with the keys as he came up from behind me.

"What are you doing, Edward?" I asked, shoving the door open and grabbing my mail from the slot. This was getting ridiculous and I didn't understand why he thought he needed to come upstairs. I wasn't going to spend more than five minutes throwing a fresh change of clothes in a bag for tomorrow. Unless...

"Thought you might need help packing," he replied lightly, putting a hand to my lower back as we hiked up the stairs.

No man likes to pack, not even his own clothes.

"Well that's believable. Or is this your idea of a secret lovers rendezvous?" I was impatient to feel his skin against mine, but his place wasn't that far away... I was surprised by his eagerness.

"Is that an invitation?" His hand slid up my back, tantalizing me.

It wasn't, but it's not like I would pass it up either. And yet, something was still off. Edward was more anxious than usual, almost pushy. Tailgating me home, shadowing my steps up the stairs... I gasped with realization, unlocking my apartment door and turned to face him as he followed.

"This is all about James, isn't it? That's why you want me to spend the night." He'd already gone to lengths in bribing me with dinner and dessert and other things. And I had sat across from him, excited and drooling like an overactive bimbo, almost falling into demented puppy love at the prospect of an intimate date. My face went hot, suddenly pissed off that he'd misled me, recalling my own foolishness.

"That might be a reason, but not the only reason," he carefully told me, turning serious. I folded my arms across my chest, feeling embarrassed and hurt.

"Don't you want to spend tonight with me?" he asked quickly.

I looked away. "That's beside the point."

"No it's not," he argued in a gentler tone as the back of his fingers traced up my arm. "It's the only thing I could think about today." Stepping close to me, he wrapped his arms around my tensed form, brushing his cheek along mine, and whispered in my ear. "All day I've envisioned you in my bed."

It wasn't just his words, but the way his voice spoke low and thick, serious with desire and purpose, catching me off guard. If I knew anything about Edward, he was determined.

My mind protested with a thousand arguments, my body weakly resisting. But his heat traveled to me, his smell blanketing my senses. The soft, tickling of his lips dragged down my neck, creating a path of prickling sensations. The miniscule hairs stood on end from my skin and my thighs tightened.

"To feel your skin..." he murmured, hot breath on my throat, fluttering my pelvis, unwinding me further. "To be inside you," his fingers pressed the small of my back, bringing me tight against him. I dragged in a shaky breath as he kissed a path back up to my ear and whispered, "To hear you breathe my name." I gasped quietly with a shiver as his other hand drew my jaw toward him, forcing me to look deep into my eyes. "Is it so bad to keep you safe while doing so?"

I was unable to think straight. Was it so bad? I hadn't really been inconvenienced or compromised in any real way. I had been saying that Edward and I would be in this together and well… we were technically sticking together. Manipulations aside, it was in one of the sweetest ways I'd ever seen.

"I want you, Edward. I just don't want to be an idiot." I gripped the lapels of his coat, kissing him hard with a sigh. His hands curled up into my hair, holding me tight against him, mumbling my name into a kiss. Our lips molded and curved, nibbling and moving with sudden heat.

The sweet roughness from him and my own rising vulnerability had me dragging Edward backward to the couch behind me. Like two teenagers we moaned between tasting skin and exploring hands, shedding clothes into a hasty heap. A new anxiousness swelled within, something desperate and sure, laced with want and familiarity.

"Bella..." he groaned.

I urged him closer with my fingers twisting into his hair. "Sometimes, I can't believe how much I need you," I whispered, looking up at him through hooded eyes, light-headed with lust.

Groaning at my words, he shifted into me, feeling so good, everywhere and all at once. Finding an urgent rhythm, the rest of the world fell away. We were consumed together in loud hitches of breathy moans, quickly riding to heights of release with every deep thrust.

Edward gasped into my neck, feeling me shudder with orgasm around him. He held me tighter as he ground his hips up to mine relentlessly, finding his own release.

As we stilled, breathing hoarsely and coated in sweat, all we could do was lay there in a tangled mess of limbs, allowing our trembles to subside.

"I think you've worked up my appetite for dinner," I said after a moment, tracing my fingertips over his shoulder blade.

He hummed lazily in agreement, resting his cheek at my breast. "I think I'm ready for the next course." He reached up, palming the other, lightly pulling the erect, rosy tip.

I moaned but wiggled away, trying to resist the zip of pleasure. "Don't start that, Edward or we'll never get on with the rest of our evening."

He raised himself up, giving me a smug, mischievous look. "I believe you were the one that started it this time."

"Nonsense. You provoked me… I merely finished it."

He laughed, kissing me with a playful drag of my lips between his. Sighing with contentment, I finally pulled away from him, rolling off the couch to gather my clothes. Blowing an air kiss to a groaning Edward, I headed into the bedroom to clean up quickly and pack.

Not used to having Edward in my immediate schedule, the usual pizza delivery or 'fix a quick dinner for one' routine was disrupted, which caused me to grow hungrier by the moment. But I knew that sharing a meal with Edward on his turf would be refined and tasty and definitely worth the wait. I hadn't eaten this well since I spent a New Years dinner at Alice's family home, and that was years ago.

Dressed in a new set of jeans and sweater, I threw my tangled hair up into a ponytail and put together a small overnight bag. Including several sets of lace panties—just in case. When I returned to the living room, Edward was fully dressed and in his coat just as he'd entered. Small signs of our session only appeared in his faintly flushed cheekbones and hair that was ruffled a bit more than usual. All in all, he probably could have gone back to work without the slightest suspicion.

"Ready?" I asked cheerfully, the hunger pangs now driving me forward.

Taking my bag in his hand, he used the opportunity to bring me close for a moment. "Yes," he answered quietly, cupping the curve of my jaw and smirking down at me. If Edward thought he was going to pull out the charm and seduce me again, he was mistaken this time…

I pecked him quickly before ushering him out with a love tap from behind.

Locking our things in his trunk, the drive was pleasant, a comfortable silence falling between us. The static noise from the streets and birds were muffled behind thick glass. I watched the strips of storefronts stretch into piers as we left the busier district of the city.

We parked perpendicular to First Avenue, heading over to the fish markets at Pike's Place, hand in hand, breathing in the crisp air and that pungent ocean smell. I had never ventured to the fish market for dinner on a weekday and found it busier than I would have thought—despite the low buzz of tourism all year 'round. Though this particular market was housed inside a huge facility, it was this time of day where the sky cast gray light over the city and shoppers were in a hurry to get home from their long day.

As we perused the tables of fresh seafood, Edward hung back slightly, allowing me to choose. Eating with him everyday did give me a good idea about the foods he liked. I would have suggested a crab dinner for two if the large critters didn't take so damn long to crack open.

Then I remembered one afternoon Edward ordered Halibut, served in brown butter sauce. Used to hollering at a bar tender, I called out to the fisherman behind the display and ordered two fillets of the tender, white fish.

"Good choice," Edward said beside me with surprise. "I like that fish."

"I know," I replied, smiling and reaching for the bag.

Edward quickly pulled out his wallet, paying the man. As we moved on to the fresh produce that would be packing up soon for the night, Edward placed his hand at my hip so we could squeeze passed the other shoppers. It wasn't overly crowded, but enough where people were walking fast and cutting off others' paths. The unpredictability was slightly intimidating.

We picked up asparagus and potatoes, and some assorted fruits. It was interesting to shop with Edward like this, just enjoying the simple task of making small decisions together. With every glance, I observed how the chilly air from the open doorways nipped his ears and the small ocean breeze blew his hair. He was smiling in small tight-lipped ways, and when I made him laugh, his teeth flashed and that musical throaty sound left his lips. It was one of the best, slow moments I had felt in a long while, and allowed myself to bask in the feeling.

People were getting pushy now and as we paid for the fruit someone bumped me, causing me to drop the plastic bag of fish on the ground. Edward bent to help me but on our way upright, he froze, startling me. As I glanced up, a flash of dark blond hair over broad shoulders met my eyes before disappearing behind moving shoppers. Terror jolted through my body for a second as I grasped my wits.

Edward saw the similarity too, but instead of second guessing himself, he formed his own agenda. Taking a few steps forward, he pushed passed people for a better look.

I followed after him as he cleared a path of bodies in his dangerous course, concern turning to fear over losing sight of him or tripping and falling in my quest to keep up. "Edward," I called, trying to get him to look at me, to halt the ensuing manhunt. Lunging after him as he paused to look around, I finally grapped his arm and yanked.

Turning me to face him, his fingers pressed into my shoulders, as he demanded in a hard, tight voice, "stay here." His eyes were no longer bright green but containing something sinister, and not looking at me.

Before I could reply, he darted off, mixing in with the free forming crowds. As the fear prickled over my skin, I didn't want to believe it. James would never be that careless, unless he was getting bolder, flaunting his methods even further. My mind wouldn't comprehend the thoughts and possibilities. And yet, my growing worry for Edward only intensified my fears. I was about to run in the direction he went, but then if we lost each other, it would lead to a worse predicament. Cursing myself for leaving my cell phone with my luggage in his trunk, I began to grow angry - first with Edward for running off, then at James for making him run off.

I wondered if the gesture had been simple carelessness from a stranger or deliberation from a man who had it out for us. I checked my pockets, making sure to rule out a money snatcher, trying to cling to any other reason why we were knocked over like that. Nothing was missing. Wringing my hands together, I raised up on the balls of my feet, hoping to see any sign of Edward.

As the minutes ticked on, my stomach dropped, imagining Edward cornering James into an alley after chasing him across the piers. Edward could probably adequately defend himself, but if James carried around a weapon... I thought I was going to throw up and held my stomach. The nausea hit me, paranoia turning to mild hysteria, and my skin broke into a cold sweat. People shopped around me, unaware of my inner turmoil. I couldn't move from the spot though, due to nerves and because Edward had told me to, but I was growing more conflicted by the second. I needed to calm down and slow my breath before I fainted in the lobsters.

Eventually, I recognized that familiar head of hair quickly making its way toward me.

"My god, Edward." His eyes looked a bit wild with exertion and alertness. Moving people aside in his path, he stopped before me and I was beyond relieved to see him.

"Sorry I..." He flipped up the collar of his jacket for warmth and took the bags from my hand. "I thought I saw him and I had to know for sure."

I had worked myself up into a state of anger by this point. "I can't believe you took off like that," I said through my teeth, angry tears pricking my eyes.

He moved to embrace me but I shrugged him back.

"What if something had happened to you?! What if I was stuck here, waiting while he..." My words choked off at the very thought of Edward receiving a fatal injury. I angrily wiped a heavy tear unexpectedly rolling down my cheek.

"Have confidence in my abilities, he can't hurt me and I won't let him near you." He looked at me with tight eyes.

"If something terrible did happen to you, he still hurts me," I admitted in a cracked voice. "You can't do that to me again. You said I'm not allowed out of your sight, well the same goes for you."

His jaw flexed with tension and concern, but he finally sighed. "I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean... Come here." I let him draw me close. Still sick with the after affects of worry, I sagged against him.

"Whoever it was, they slipped away," he murmured down to me in his chest. "I think my mind played a trick on me." His arms constricted in small increments, holding me tighter. "I'm sorry I left you here, worrying."

"I think my mind played the same trick. Let's just leave now, okay?" I was tired and getting chilly, feeling cranky now on top of my stress and diminished appetite.

He kept his arm wrapped around my shoulders as we walked back to his car. The breeze off the pier hit our backs, banishing us from its now disturbing set.

I didn't know which worried me more—the thought of James so close or Edward's impulsive reaction to it. Was it possible he was more jumpy than he was letting on? I couldn't help but think that I was responsible for his discomfort, which only made me feel worse. It was silly because I was concerned for our safety, but the guilt continued to tug at my heart.

Discouraging me further was that I had taken the extra steps Edward had directed me toward: changing my land line number, getting the emergency restraining order, confirming the date of the hearing, etc. Yet, the possibility of a random, dangerous encounter that could have occurred this evening left me with little hope of being effective. I knew I was going to hear from Laurent any day now, and whatever he found (or didn't find) would be tangible evidence to this growing mess. Until then, I had to recognize that all of this worry could be irrational fear haunting my footsteps.

Driving back to Edward's apartment, I noted the familiar street names and landmarks. Seeing the tall, sleek building come into view, my worries ebbed away, the relief forming into something more hopeful. I truly did feel safe with Edward. We pulled into a garage attached to his complex that I had never seen or been inside before. After gliding in a designated space, he killed the engine and shot me a small, apologetic smile.

I gave him a swift kiss on the cheek and followed him to the trunk to grab our things. I wasn't going to worry about the fact that I had given Edward control by not bringing my own car, or the fact that we would arrive to work together (though it wouldn't be the first time). I just wanted to push all worries aside and sink into his comfort.

Stepping into the elevator cart, the inside lining of olive green walls and brass handlebars began to prickle my memory. As the door parted at his floor, the hallway appeared. Strict and clean with its recently vacuumed carpets, and that lemony fresh scent floated to my senses. Though I hadn't specifically noted these details the first time, they were somehow familiar.

Coming to a stop at his apartment door, I glanced at him. From the secretive smile hovering at the corners of Edward's lips, something told me he was having a private joke at my expense. Upon entering, he flicked on the lights behind me, but I was drawn into the apartment by unhindered curiosity.

Everything was just very _clean_. There were stacked papers and folders and books in a few places, but they seemed to have an organized, methodical formation. Looking around me, I received a full dose of Edward's living style. One by one, objects expanded into hazy memories, filling a few in and adding lucid additions to the rest. I grew overwhelmed by how real everything became. To fixate on pieces of furniture and _know_ the heated frenzy of interactions that took place on them.

The couch had definitely been part of it as I recalled the squeaking of leather and rips echoing in my memory, my fingers sliding down his bare chest as he undid my clothing. My gaze wandered to the kitchen table and the flash that bombarded my mind was strong enough to make my face burn. I looked away, calmly taking note of the overall style of furniture; modern, simple, and mostly shiny.

Suddenly aware of the silence, I looked behind me at Edward, wondering what he was up to. He'd been watching me survey the place like a lion in the shadows, treading slowly inside.

"Nice pad," I joked lightly, forcing a cheery smile.

Edward's fixed gaze smoothly altered into one of those wicked smiles that made my heart hiccup. He placed the shopping bags on his black, sleek kitchen countertop before taking steps toward me. "Would you like a tour?" he asked, slipping my coat off to hang on a hook with his.

I playfully leaned into him. "I'd like that."

Taking my hand in his warm one and linking our fingers, we navigated to an adjoining dining room. It seemed a bit extravagant for one person with a large living room and kitchen table already, but it was aesthetically pleasing with mahogany stained wood dining set and overhead modern chandelier.

Moving down the hall, Edward immediately brought me to his bedroom. It was very plain for a personal place, almost cold from lack of habitation. Nevertheless, I was taken aback by his eagerness once again. We'd just had a session not more than two hours ago. "Edward, what about dinner?" I asked, pulling my hand from his.

His brows furrowed at me before understanding smoothed his features. "Bella, this is just a guest room," he clarified smugly.

"Oh," I replied, feeling stupid.

"You look a little flushed, I didn't realize you were anxious to see my lair," he teased, snaking his arms around my waist and bringing me tight against the length of his body.

I tried to argue with a dash of my own snark, but he dipped his lips down to my neck, smiling against my skin. Sighing breathily, he left a trail of heat and growing impulses, reducing me to clouded, sluggish thoughts. When his teeth gently scraped, I forced myself to lean away, knowing things would grow quickly out of hand. "Don't you want to show me the rest of your place?" _And maybe the lair you were just talking about._

He groaned with a disappointed sigh, freeing me from his hold, and led me further down the hallway. The next few minutes were rather boring as Edward opened and closed doors which were mostly closets and storage space. I had a feeling he was stalling for the only room I cared to see.

"Holding out on your bedroom now, Edward?" Standing behind him, my hands rested on my hips as he presented me with the laundry room.

"I thought you wanted to see every last bit of my apartment," he replied smoothly, laced with humor. "My mother did bring me up with some manners."

"Is this what you were like as a teenager? Or did you race the girls upstairs?" I was teasing him badly, curling my lip as I imagined what Edward was like at sixteen.

He laughed, pushing the last door open for me and leaned against the wall. "More than not, my mother would knock at the inopportune moment with excuses of milk and cookies." He chuckled, rubbing a hand through his hair. "She liked to thwart the raging sex hormones of a son just hitting his stride into puberty."

I giggled, imagining the whole scenario in my head and briefly wondered about his mother again. She seemed like a very perceptive, loving parent, with an interesting sense of humor.

Edward's room was impressive and my breath caught as I entered. The bed was clearly the centerpiece of the space, more like a small lake than a large bed size, and the room itself was pretty grand. His sheets were crisp dark blue and looked like fifteen hundred thread count sateen. Moving closer, I yearned to feel the cool, glossy cloth under my fingertips. Tall white walls against the dark, shiny little tables and headboard were eye catching. Large windows brought in light from the cityscape giving the room a refreshing, soft life to it.

And that was when I saw the little yellow contrasting against black wood. Ducky number six nestled behind the lamp on his bedside table like a trophy. Instead of dashing for it, a steady swell of pride held me in place. Though I was happy to see the toy again, I was even happier that Edward kept it close.

To the side was his closet and bathroom which I was curious enough to take a peek, but restrained myself for the moment. I may or may not have wanted to press a fresh collared shirt to my nose, knowing that sweet, musky scent all too well. It was probably for the best that Edward led me back to the kitchen.

I wasn't surprised to see that he had all the latest appliances of black marble and stainless steel. He took out cutting boards and knives, cooking pans and other utensils. I unwrapped the produce from the bags, laying everything out. Edward put his hands on my shoulders to stop me. "Why don't you relax and I'll poor you a glass of wine."

"Don't you want help prepping at least?" I asked, startled.

He was already turning me around, guiding me out of the kitchen. "I told you I would cook for you."

I sat down in one of the tall stools, facing the kitchen. "Are you sure you know how to um… really cook though?"

He shrugged. "Not all of us _bachelors_ order take out." Meeting my quirked brow with a smirk, he added, "You have a lot to learn about me, Bella Swan."

"Fair enough." I smiled, placing my elbows on the counter, resting my chin in my palms.

Edward grabbed two wine glasses and a sealed bottle from a cabinet. I observed that he had a handsome wine collection in stock. Uncorking a zinfandel, he filled our glasses halfway. Holding mine by the stem, I inhaled the aged fruit before taking a cautious sip. The liquid burned warm, sweet, and a hint of spice going down my throat, spreading in my chest, and settled in my stomach. It was delicious.

"That's really nice," I commented as he got started on the food. I sipped my wine, enjoying myself and watched Edward.

With efficiency, he wrapped the potatoes in foil and baked them in the oven, sautéed the asparagus with garlic, and pan-fried the fish in butter, herbs, and lemon. Not only was I impressed, but also with nothing to do except observe him, I realized that no one had ever cooked for me before. My past ritual with Emmett had been dinner at least once a week. Sometimes we would go out, but many times I liked to stay in and cook, giving us a quiet night from the ruckus of our escapades.

Frequently, Edward would turn to the counter and feed me small spoonfuls to taste, asking me how I liked it. This was my favorite part, and I would toy with him, pretending to need more helpings in order to make up my mind. Edward played along, continuing to feed me, taking a bite for himself in between.

"How about you come around to my side of the counter and eat with me," I suggested, sipping my wine again. As much as I appreciated his efforts, I was feeling a little selfish just sitting there as he slaved away.

He slid the plates of food over to me before making his way around to the stools, wine glass in hand. Taking his seat beside me, he scooped potato onto his fork, deciding to continue feeding me. I laughed, leaving the fork clean, chewing contently.

"My turn," I stated, loading my own fork for him with a little bit of everything.

Grinning, he pulled the food off with his lips, chewing slowly. I leaned into him, placing a kiss at his neck and he would nibble my skin in turn. We continued this for some time until the food disappeared entirely and Edward and I were left breathing excitedly and touching, flushed from the wine and each other.

"We still have dessert..." I murmured on his lips, briefly remembering the fruit we bought as I unbuttoned his shirt.

"You're dessert," he whispered, his hands riding up my thighs. I moaned as his warm fingers found my skin, slipping under my blouse.

A phone rang loudly, making us both jump, our breaths catching. Belatedly, I realized it was coming from my bag on the floor in the living room and leaped off the stool in annoyance. It had better be Laurent. I viciously unzipped the top pouch, grabbed my cell phone, and barked a greeting as I tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

_"Bella? Is that you?"_

"Yes, sorry. Hi." I apologized to Renee, righting my brain.

_"I called to leave you a message at home but your line is...out of service?"_

I smacked my forehead, realizing that I had forgotten to tell her about the change and the reasons for doing so. Everything had been happening quickly lately.

"Who is it?" Edward asked, suddenly beside me, noticing the difference in my posture. To an outside observer, I looked pretty uncomfortable. Clearly, Edward wasn't familiar with this type of natural reaction from my mother.

Glancing at him, I fumbled with which person to respond to. "Oh umm..."

_"Bella, whose there? Is that a man?"_ I winced, inwardly cursing.

"Mom! Hi, that's nobody. How are you?" I answered quickly with a cheer I didn't quite feel.

Edward chuckled, receiving a panicked look from me.

_"Fine sweetie, but you can't fool me. I definitely heard a male person on your end. Don't let me interrupt. It's not like you return my messages..."_

I sighed, resigning myself as she rambled on. It didn't make me feel better though. Edward was smirking now, amused at the situation. I stifled a laugh at the thought that if he had any idea about 'hurricane Renee', I'd instantly find an Edward-shaped hole in the door.

"Yes well, mom this isn't a good time. We were just…"

_"We? Does he have a name?"_ she cut in with interest. I could just see her eyes widening and greedy, mentally scanning her Brides magazines. Every year she would dog-ear pages or highlight the latest wedding must-haves before mailing me the issue. They always ended up in the trash.

"Edward," I mumbled quietly. "His name is Edward." Rolling my eyes to the person in question, he was leaning against the wall next to me, watching my uncomfortable state, enjoying himself.

_"That man you used to complain about at your work?"_

"Uhh..." I glanced at Edward again to see him straightening. "Did I say that?" I giggled idiotically into the receiver, turning away.

Edward plucked the phone from my fingers. "Hello, Renee. Yes, I am that Edward. How are you?" he asked politely, cloaking himself in the Cullen charm.

The color drained from my face, not believing what he had just done.

_"Well Edward It's a pleasure to meet you! And how do you know my Bella?"_

She sounded excited. It was one of those rare moments where I wished I had told Renee more about the man I was seeing so this wouldn't be such a shock for her. Or perhaps it was more of a shock for me... I waited with uneven breath for Edward's answer.

"It's true Renee, Bella and I do work together." He rubbed the back of his neck with a small smile. "Bella and I have been... spending more time with each other—I like her a lot."

_"Oh well that's just wonderful! Tell me more about yourself. You must be a very successful lawyer, I should have you take care of all of Phil's legalities." _she simpered, trying to gauge his salary.

Edward chuckled, clearly flattered by her compliments. I fought the roll of my eyes, a little offended that my own mother hadn't asked me for legal assistance. "Thank you Renee, I'd love to assist you if you need anything requiring my legal attention in the future."

_"Edward that really is too much, but how darling of you. I can't imagine why Bella used to complain about such a lovely gentleman. I always tell her that she takes life too seriously!"_

Clearing his throat, he tried to play along to maintain the polite charm, but found himself caught between my mother's ridiculous small talk and my withering stare. "I do admire the many qualities Bella has..."

_"Really that is so sweet of you, I'm loving you more by the minute! Bella never introduces me to any of her boyfriends but I know she's had to have a few. I mean look at my baby, isn't she beautiful?"_

I wanted to die on the spot, and shifted with extreme discomfort, embarrassed by my mother's missing filter.

Edward's eyes stayed on mine, his smirk disappearing as his eyes brightened. "Yes, she _is_ beautiful."

I wasn't sure Renee fully heard him as she continued talking a mile a minute. But it didn't matter, Edward was really speaking to me. If Edward had complimented me like this months ago, I would have suspiciously contemplated what his intentions really were. He was charming Renee into a puddle, but the simple sincerity of the statement in his eyes had my stomach swirling warm.

_"...and we have the Easter parade in April, have you ever been to Jacksonville in spring? It's just lovely..."_

I stopped listening, stepping closer to Edward, watching him smile all through the horrendous conversation with an overenthusiastic, granny lusting mother. My hand slowly moved up his shirt, idly playing with the open buttons as his arm wrapped around my waist. His lips were moving as he responded back to her shrill excitement, his eyes remaining fixed on mine. I found myself so lost in his warm gaze that their conversation faded from my attention completely.

Sooner than later, he hung up the phone with the press of the button, and carefully placed it on the counter.

"You really didn't have to do that," I said quietly, bringing my hands up to his shirt collar.

"It was nothing," he started, pressing me close and inhaling deeply.

"I'm sorry though..." I felt the need to apologize for Renee, even though no damage had been done. But I loved my mother, who was her own brand of woman. I was more worried that Edward wouldn't like her, or understand.

"I think she's very sweet. And it was only ten minutes of small talk to make her happy. It's hardly a sacrifice." He grinned down at me. Demonstrating the depth of his feelings, he cared about being involved with my loved ones as an extension of myself. If I thought he was courageous for dealing my shit, there was no doubt in my mind as to Edward's fearlessness now.

I placed my lips on his, kissing him softly, enjoying even more the way he felt in my arms. Now probably wasn't the time to tell Edward that Renee was already beginning wedding preparations on the sidelines.

"Then you can deal with her the next time she calls—since you enjoyed it so much," I joked between kisses, sinking into his warmth and rich vanilla, fresh cotton scent.

His body stiffened at first, before laughing breathily. "I think she invited me to every family affair for the next two years... Did you know that Jacksonville is lovely in the spring?"

I blanched, and he brought me close again with a laugh, continuing where we left off.

* * *

**I hope you liked it! For all that don't have me on Author Alert, there are three new one-shots posted on my profile. **_**Temptations of the Unloved**_** won 1****st**** place in the Bridal Style contest! I am constantly thankful for the wonderful ladies who hosted it.**

**A great opportunity is now available in the online writing community for writers, editors, and readers. www(DOT)fictionistaworkshop(DOT)com is now accepting applications and submissions.**

**Lastly, if you have or know of an underappreciated **_**Twilight**_** fanfic that you feel needs more attention, recommend a story for The Little Known Ficster Blog at http://thelittleknownficster(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com.**

**As always, you can follow me on Twitter (at)bittenbee and check out the Twilighted thread for IHYKM. Until next time…!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you Dollegirl for critiquing, and to Nicnicd for beta'ing. You are both irreplaceable, beautiful women. **

**Warning: This chapter contains violence and details of a sexual nature. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**

* * *

I Hate You, Kiss Me  
**

_"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson_

"_Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Ruth E. Renkel_

**Chapter Twenty-three**_  
_

My insides churned sluggish, my nerves strung out. Dry mouth, and a heart going off like an old alarm clock. Sick, but alert. You'd never know under my ironed suit jacket and matching pencil skirt, though. I was determined to be done with this the way one rids themselves of pneumonia.

As I looked over my completed forms for the millionth time for errors—even to see if my name was misspelled—I knew that my stress was going to drive me to my wits end.

A large, warm hand laid over mine, steady and firm. "Bella, you need to chill out." Edward's face held a carefully enigmatic expression, but his eyes softened toward me.

We'd argued the whole way to the courthouse. It all started when we fought over who was driving there, yanking each other in opposite directions in the garage until Edward had had enough and threw me over his shoulder like a Neanderthal. He claimed that I wasn't emotionally fit to drive. Ridiculous. Almost dropping my briefcase from being hung upside down, I continued to squirm, blowing my hair out of my face with a string of curses. Not needing to argue further since he'd gotten his way by sheer force, I eventually tired myself out, dizzy from the blood rushing to my frontal lobe and partially worried that my kicking would cause us both to hit the concrete.

It had only continued from there in bickers and mutters of annoyance about what to say and what not to say and overall—Edward's interference. I let him join me, but I was adamant about holding my own until afterward when I could snuggle into his chest and breathe relief. But at that moment, I'd wanted to strangle him and throw something.

As it turned out, I was a mess inside. James was either late or not showing up. His ominous whereabouts were his method in feeding my fears, but I had to remind myself that he was just a man. A dangerous man. And now a tardy man. To say I was nervous would be highly inaccurate. I was terrified of facing my shadow.

Edward's hand moved to lightly press the top of my knee in silent comfort. He knew I didn't want any grand gestures of heroism and the simple touch was exactly what I needed. I had to concentrate on presenting my case to the judge or the hearing would be moot.

It wasn't simply confronting James that frightened me, but what he represented. I never should have worried about Edward compromising my independence; it had been James gradually sucking away that quality from my spirit all along. I had realized this after my last visit with Laurent.

_"Good afternoon Ms. Swan," greeted Jane, taking a seat at her desk outside of Laurent's office._

_Edward insisted on coming with me, though he didn't seem surprised by the bold decor of erotica in the waiting room. Any normal person would be surprised and maybe a little uncomfortable at Laurent's taste in decorating. This detail did not go unnoticed by me. Clearly, Edward had already been here. I'd allowed Edward into my situation, understanding full well what he was capable of—and of his stubborn thoroughness to check every resource of mine. He laced his long fingers together in his lap, his mind off somewhere in deep thought._

_I felt the same sense of quiet determination, bracing myself for the worst._

_It wasn't long before Laurent filled the open doorway in a suit of fuchsia draping elegantly to his muscled form. A sparkle seemed to travel over him. Narrow-pointed patent leather shoes gleamed, accentuating the brass tie clip fitted neatly, before flickering in his blinking gaze. Jane browsed a magazine, familiar with Laurent's lavish display, and turned a page without acknowledging his bright entrance._

_"Miss Swan," he greeted with a creamy smile. "Please, join me in my office." He ushered Edward and I inside before clicking the door shut. As we seated ourselves, Laurent held his hand out to Edward in introduction, the gold rings adorning his meticulously tended fingers twinkling. _

_"I know he's already visited you, let's not waste everyone's time," I stated sharply as Edward leaned from Laurent's outstretched hand._

_Both suited men stared openly at me for a moment.  
_

_Though Edward's efforts comforted me, I felt that the polite introductions were extremely unnecessary for my benefit. Edward cleared his throat and Laurent immediately focused back to me. _

_  
"Ceci ne me surprend pas. Nothing escapes you, Miss Swan." His chocolate irises seemed to melt into mine, the charm radiating from him. "Good to see you again, Monsieur Cullen." A silent, ambiguous exchange passed between them.  
_

_It was my turn to clear my throat. Abruptly getting down to business, Laurent retrieved a file behind his desk and wordlessly slid it toward me._

_Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to lay eyes on._

_Uncharacteristically, my hands twitched against the manila cardstock. Like ripping a band aid, with determination I peered inside. Edward stiffened beside me and my heart caught in my throat. Slowly, at first, I passed each photo to Edward, absorbing the scenes before me. James was in every single photo, all of them in conjunction with Edward and I...  
_

_I flipped through them more quickly, spinning them toward Edward as the cold fear rushed into me. Landing on one photo of Edward and I sitting at our Chinese restaurant froze me in place. Shock wound itself up my spine. Details seemed to lift off the page like a domino effect. The cream blouse I had been wearing, the familiar black clip sweeping my hair up messily... I was smiling, a gesture stilled of my fork on my plate and Edward appearing as if he were laughing down at me._

_And then James, standing off to the side behind a city maple tree, watching us. The photographer had been at the opposite corner, forming a triangle of positions, the scene playing out before his lens._

_This photo was taken two days ago._

_Edward gasped at the same moment I had come to this conclusion._

_"Fuck," I hissed, my voice stuck beneath my ribs. Pushing off the desk, the chair skidded and the photos scattered across the floor. My eyes looked around unfocused as I tried to catch my breath. Was he right outside Laurent's home this very moment? Did he know what I was up to in here? Bile churned up my esophagus like water slowly filling a garden hose. The anxiety submerged me at full force and I turned away, propping one hand against the wall, the other pressing at my temple._

_James had been shadowing me the entire time...us._

_He had been watching us in every single photo: Edward and I strolling down the sidewalk, dining at various restaurants for lunch, at the coffee shop, outside my doorstep, the carnival... He was like a creature in the corners of my world, sinister and invasive, experiencing every new and enjoyable occurrence in my life for the past month at least. My laugh, my smile, my flirtations—they were all his, too._  
_  
I startled as two hands placed themselves on my shoulders. Edward pressed me firmly back into him, rubbing my arms impatiently. "Bella..." he spoke with an urgent calm, trying to reassure me. "He won't touch you," he whispered. _

_At that moment, nothing Edward said would help; I was on edge as my mind absorbed the extent of James's unwavering obsession. He was more dangerous than I could fully imagine, the evidence apparent in how steadfast he'd been in the shadows. Maybe James never would touch me, but those delightful beginnings with Edward and pieces of my life couldn't be held precious and private with James's proximity tainting them. I fought the nauseated urge to vomit right on Laurent's carpet._

_"I know this news was not what you were hoping for, Miss Swan," Laurent spoke almost clinically, treading delicately._

_"We hoped not, but we didn't rule out the possibility," Edward answered in a detached voice. I recognized his professional tone and breathed raggedly against him, his strong presence beginning to calm me._

Composing myself, I mentally prepared for this hearing, pushing back the memory. A residual cold sweat lingered on my skin, my insides clamming up. My tension didn't go unnoticed by Edward and he gave my knee another squeeze.

Suddenly, the heavy doors opened behind us and Edward and I broke apart, whirling our attention to the back of the room.

A guard strolled in, taking his place at the front. My breath escaped where it had built up in my chest, the blaring thud of my heartbeat filling my ears. We were visibly tensed and I knew we needed to restrain ourselves and stay level-headed.

My name was called and we removed ourselves from our seats. I stood before the judge behind a table, gripping the folder in my hands like a lifeline. I handed in my written agreement to extend the temporary order and the original court papers.

Then we waited for James to walk in through the heavy doors at any moment.

Courtrooms had always felt safe to me, where justice was upheld in its most dignified form. For the first time, I wanted to run out of the courthouse without looking back. Edward stood close, our shoulders almost pressing. Despite my calm appearance, my hands wouldn't stop trembling.

James never showed up.

The judge's beak-like mouth pressed into a frown, accentuating the hard lines of disapproval. Nevertheless, I presented my case in the absence of James, submitting my gathered evidence, and was granted a one-year restraining order. We would be cautious of our whereabouts from now on and one slip up from James would result in immediate SPD involvement.

We left the courtroom, the nice weather feathering our hair as we inhaled deeply with a little renewed hope. I looked around warily, seeing nothing but the bright skies filled with singing schools of birds and people walking through the city in their usual dispositions. Couples strolling, individuals running errands, waiting in line at the bus stop, sitting on benches to read, and the occasional shop owner wiping his store front window. As we descended the marble stairs, Edward began chuckling to himself.

"That part certainly turned in our favor," he commented, breathing out some of the tension.

"I was afraid things would never go that smoothly. I was more surprised that he never showed up to contest the order..." I had been worried that James would try to lie his way out of it. The feeble sun seemed to smooth away my inner trembles. Nevertheless, I remained pressed into Edward's side.

"By not showing up, he basically handed it to you." It was true. In his absence, the judge could grant me whatever I wanted. Still, I didn't regret hiring Laurent. After stepping a reasonable distance away from the courthouse, Edward gently turned me by the shoulders to face him. "Don't you see, Bella? The cowardice that kept him in the shadows was his own undoing. That order is set now. He cut off his opportunity to challenge it, and now... forget contesting, he'll never have it tailored to his _motives_. Period."

Edward said "motives" with a trace of disgust. The sunlight accentuated his fiery strands of thick hair, making him appear even more ferocious and almost god-like in his protector role and master of chosen profession. Then he brought me close again, wrapping his arms around me. I squeezed my eyes shut, inhaling the lovely scent of his jacket, wanting to believe that things would be better now. "Will you be okay?" he asked into my hair.

I knew he meant emotionally, and nodded against his chest, concentrating on our small success. "I'm fine now. I admit I was afraid before, the thought of facing him..."

"I know." He tightened his hold on me and I kept myself momentarily buried in his embrace. "We should get you something to eat."

I'd been eating sparingly since yesterday, too nervous to keep anything down. At this point, I was ravenous. We walked back to the Jaguar, Edward held the passenger door open for me before sliding into his side.

"As disgusting as it is, I think I've sweated through my suit and need to change first." My blouse was pasted to my underarms. Overall, I felt icky.

"Hmm, sweating and removing your clothes… that sounds like something you need assistance with." He turned the key in the ignition, glancing at me with a smirk, back to his old seductive mischief.

I rolled my eyes with a small smile. "When you said 'something to eat', I assumed you meant food."

He laughed, reaching over the console and playfully squeezed my thigh. "I can never resist... But you really should eat something good. I'll take you out this evening for a real meal." The engine purred as he pulled out of the parking spot, meshing in with the light traffic.

"And since you enjoy multicourse meals, I think we should have dessert at your place." I gave him a suggestive glance through my lashes, squeezing his hand that rested on my thigh in turn.

Edward put more pressure on the gas pedal and the scenery zipped by. My smile faded when we stopped at a red light and I looked out the window, wondering if James was on the corner of this intersection, or where he was in general. The city was filled with busy bodies and crevices that it was almost too easy for a stalker.

I looked back to Edward, observing his beautiful features concentrating on the road in front of us and feeling the steady warmth of his hand in mine. "I'm glad you're with me, Edward," I blurted quietly.

His face flashed with surprise at my outburst. Forming into a soft expression, I knew that he understood I meant more than just for today. "Me too," he answered with a tight smile, squeezing my hand again. "I'm going to stop at the office to bring paperwork back home with me for later."

In front of my apartment building, I threw the seat belt off with a rushed goodbye. I needed a shower to wind down from the depleted stress, too. Edward took hold of my wrist.

"Not even a kiss goodbye?" he asked in mock horror.

My grouchy expression turned into a half-smile. "But this suit is really making me feel gross," I whined.

"You don't look gross," he said playfully, brushing a finger over one of my blazer buttons.

I let go of the door handle, allowing him to bring me back for a moment.

The engine hummed in idle, the music lowered, and I closed my eyes to the soft heat of his lips as we shared kisses. I loved the reactions he stirred within, but I wouldn't let them get out of hand at present.

"Mmm..." I moaned, ready to break away.

His hand cupped my jaw, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. I sank into him as his lips sweetly influenced me. I felt like I was in a warm, swirling dream of comfort and completion. Placing my hands up to the sides of his face, I drew back, dragging a breath from him. "Thank you," I whispered, my eyes closed against his forehead.

Edward replied with one last soft kiss, making my toes curl. "See you in a few hours. Rest."

I nodded, finally pulling away in a daze and shut the door behind me. With a few blinks at my surroundings I was able to regain my balance from whatever spell Edward had cast on me, and shimmied up my front steps, loosening my keys from my coat pocket. With a last wave I entered, hearing Edward's Jaguar pull away after I was inside the building. The exhaustion hit my body as I made it up to my apartment.

The hearing was over, I had myself equipped, a man that cared for me, and a brighter outlook on the future. Immediately awaiting me was a hot shower, fresh clothes, and a reunion with my couch.

And yet… The lack of confrontation with James robbed me of closure. He never came to the courthouse, but where was he? Unsettled, I stepped more quickly to my apartment, needing to lock myself up for a bit and think.

Turning the key, I pushed the door open, skimming my hand familiarly along the wall for the light switch, already halfway out of my coat. The silence felt wrong.

I paused in the darkness, my body flooding with instant hyperawareness. It was the same uneasiness when I'd walked to the Lawrence Christmas party, and something I'd sensed on so many other little occasions that were ignored. I gripped my keys, tucking them between my fingers like protruding claws, my hand forming a fist. With only a jerk of hesitation, I continued brushing my free hand along the wall.

Light exposes truth, a transparent reality. Pushing the switch, yellow light flooded my living room, revealing James sitting in a chair across the room.

My stomach lurched into my throat. _He'd been expecting me._ The light did nothing to quell the instant terror in my body as we stared at each other for the first time in months. He looked exactly the same, wearing a set of casual jeans and white buttoned-down shirt.

"Congratulations on following your instinct. I thought you'd be blindly skipping right into me. It's too bad for _you_ that you didn't listen to your gut when we first met."

His deep voice seemed to snap me out of the initial shock of his presence.

"I should have listened to a lot of things concerning my instinct, and I'm going to start by following it now." My voice wavered under stress, but I was more alert than I had ever been in my life.

He stood from the chair, and my hand clenched tighter around the keys. The need to run away was stronger than ever. Rampageous possibilities skidded through out my mind, calculating how far I would get, if my lungs would relax and explode with a scream. James's voice cut off my flight or fight inner tennis match.

"In that case, shut the door." His dark eyes were fixated on me, briefly eyeing the gleam of brass claws. I didn't know exactly what he had planned, but I noticed that he wasn't carrying any visible weapon. Watching him carefully, I closed the door to my apartment. Win or lose, I would receive closure this time.

My breaths seemed to pick up in pace as I took a few steps inside, and placed my keys on the edge of the kitchen counter top, feigning a relaxed manner.

"What do you want, James?"

He stepped closer, stopping at the opposite side of the kitchen island, resting his meaty hands on the counter. "First of all, empty your pockets onto the table. I don't want you calling _him_ and ruining my plans," he growled.

I obeyed again, pulling out my cell phone and set it next to my keys. There went my plan to silently text Edward in my pocket. It was like a kick in the gut, knowing I had just left his car minutes ago and now he was far away across the financial district. James gestured for me to slide them across to his end and begrudgingly I did so. I was left with nothing but the clothes on my body and even then, I hoped I could keep those, too.

"I'll ask again, what the hell are you doing in my apartment?" I repeated through my teeth, annoyed with his demands, fighting the nerves.

"To talk," he answered vaguely.

My heart squeezed with anxiety, my skin vibrating with uneasy apprehension. "I have a restraining order. You're in violation of it, but I'm sure abiding by the law has never been on your list of things to do..." Edward and I had uncovered so little about his shady dealings, but I was sure James would be floating around in some circle of hell eventually.

James belted out a wicked laugh, unnerving me further. His dark eyes found mine again, and his next statement sent chills to the pit of my stomach. "That useless piece of paper? There has never been anything you could do to prevent me from taking what's mine. Nothing."

There was such finality in his tone, I almost believed him. Words were caught in my throat, though, having nothing to dispute him at the moment. Clearly he was threatened by my restraining order to suddenly act out now, but I wasn't going to deny the reality of my situation by refuting his statement. We both knew this. I felt my composure slip.

"You see, Bella, I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time. My efforts have paid off."

My gaze wandered around the kitchen, noting objects nearest me as possible weapons. "You've been exceptionally good at tracking me for this long. Why?"

"You have something I want," he replied, looking me over like a starved wolf.

I gulped to quell the nausea, my eyes latching on to the kitchen knife set next to the sink. "I won't give you anything," I shot back, glaring at him. Anger seemed to help keep the nerves at bay.

James chuckled blackly. "You don't really have a choice at this point."

I shivered in disgust. "I've wondered why someone so bent on shady behavior would bother going after someone so close to the law. You could get into serious trouble."

"Don't pretend to give a shit," he snarled. He took a calming breath, replacing his anger with a razor-pointed smile. He was insane. "You know what I've always loved about you, Bella? You're smart, but not smarter than me. I knew that you were headstrong and evasive, but the fact that you spent many times with me, let me kiss you and never really said "no", that was your weakness. I almost had you. Almost," he said with a scowl. "Then that bastard came sweeping in, confusing you and led you astray from what we had."

"Well, you have me now. What else could you possibly want?" I asked, hoping to give him a false sense of accomplishment and security.

His ruddy expression turned angry again and his fist slammed into the counter top, shaking my fortitude. "But I don't have everything! _He_ has everything. You have everything. Me? I was played by both of you, but that stops now. I'm just getting started."

James took several steps toward me and I took several away from him, keeping myself on the opposite side of the counter. He smiled with dark humor as I continued to inch backward in the direction of the sink.

"Let's not make this difficult, Bella."

"I understand that you're winning, but I'll never hand myself over. I thought you knew me better than that."

He shrugged like this wasn't a significant obstacle in his plans. "It doesn't matter. There's no where else for you to go."

It happened quickly. James lunged around the counter as I reached for a steak knife in its wooden display.

James was faster.

I sliced the air as he reared back, the point of the blade only catching on his shirt. Determined to defend myself, I persevered and dragged the weapon along the threaded fibers, tearing the skin beneath.

He snarled, backhanding me across the cheek with such force that I fell to the floor, the corner of my head knocking against the refrigerator door. The blow wasn't unexpected, only the immense pain that flooded when the aftershock dissipated. I was disoriented, my vision watered, prickled and unfocused, my heart beating into a chaotic frenzy. A pained moan escaped me as I lay sprawled on the cold tile, thinking my head had viciously split in half.

James's demonic shadow loomed over me as I tried to sit up and reclaim my bearings. Too late. He gripped me by the upper arms, hauling me up, pressing me into the wall with force. Red seeped into his white shirt, the blood still slowly trickling from his wound.

"Well isn't this familiar," he boasted, lifting me away from the wall and banging my form into its vertical surface once more.

I yelped in pain, the impact battering the fragility of my body against his strength. He was closing in with a wicked grin, delighted by my failure. I turned my face from his, gasping for breath. "Fuck you."

Exuding more force, he pressed his fingers into my shoulders, giving me those familiar bruises again. His breath was heavy on my neck, leaning in to inhale the fragrance of my skin. Then I felt his warm tongue at my throat, slithering a wet trail up to my pained cheek. My body shuddered in revulsion.

His voice was dangerously low at my ear, blossoming in his element at my helpless state. "You see, Bella, I have big plans that go beyond you. But you've had something I need. _Access._ When Emmett told me that you worked at a law firm, I knew this was an opportunity. You were such a lonely woman, eager for a good time. I need that law degree of yours to fill out paperwork and open doors for me." His hands went into my hair like a lover's, fisting the strands to upturn my face toward his. His fingers pulled painfully at my tender, bruising scalp. "I have deals to make, documents to go through, and _you_, sweet Bella are going to help me." His sinister gaze leveled with me. "I was close before... I almost had your trust, your adoration, your body."

"You're delusional. You were never close," I spat in a gravelly tone. "Every time you kissed me and put your filthy hands on me was nothing short of disgusting. I don't care about your plans. You're a shitty excuse for a man. I belong to no one." In that moment, my muscles vibrated against his restraint. I didn't know where my courage to speak those words had come from.

Our chests were rising and falling rapidly with the challenge. It was clear that I wounded his ego as the fury rose into his features.

Suddenly, he grabbed me by the blazer, tearing it off and flung my form over the counter. My palms smacked the surface, catching my fall, but James was quick again, anger spurring him on as he pressed my head facedown to the marble.

"Oh you belong to someone, Bella," he growled at my ear, twisting my arms behind my back.

"Edward," I seethed in pain.

"And imagine what _Edward_ is doing right now. He's naively thinking he's going to see you later. Planning your date, picking out his tie, buying flowers... It's all for nothing."

As if on cue, my cell phone rang, lighting up and vibrating against the counter. I knew it was Edward, and my heart fluttered with desperate hope. Every second gone by that I helplessly watched under James's gridlocked grip grew more painful than the last. Abruptly, the ringing was halted by his fist pounding the gadget into a broken mess. With its impending silence came my hopes crashing into despair.

"There's no one to save you this time." James laughed quietly at my shoulder, pressing his body against mine. With one hand holding my wrists, the other moved down my side and slipped under the hem of my blouse. I squirmed at his grubby hands on my flesh, attempting to slam my heel into his foot. It only resulted in him pressing me further into the counter. The hard surface under my cheek hurt my jaw and breastbone. Was this how it was going to end for me? "You're a beautiful woman, Bella, but you think you're too good for me. I'll show you who you belong to and Edward will have to live with it."

_Edward will have to live with it. _It was those last words that caused something to snap inside of me. My heart wept at the thought of being left broken for Edward. I blinked away tears, despite James's erection growing hard at my back, his fingers traveling all over me. His perverse distraction loosened his grip on my wrists and for a moment, I believed I could overcome him with everything that was in me.

The energy raced through my body, balling in my gut. Biting my lower lip between my teeth, I mustered my strength and heaved up with a grunt, smacking the crown of my already wounded head into his face. I felt the crunch of bone against the back of my throbbing head.

James shouted in fury and released me, holding his nose in both hands. I watched without remorse as thick trails of blood oozed down his neck, his dark eyes pained and wild. My head pounded painfully from the impact, my body shaking with exertion and the aftershock. I grabbed the knife that had fallen on the floor earlier, positioning myself into a defensive stance. Could I kill him? Would I?

Shocking us both was a sudden bang at my door. The old wood shook, almost unhinging from the force. I was pretty sure that wasn't Marc asking for sugar this time. I readjusted my position, not sure what to attack, James or this other intruder. I didn't have to debate with myself for long.

The door cracked off its hinges with an ear-splitting sound, hitting the floor with a deafening slam. Edward emerged through the now gaping doorway, breathing harshly with an assertive fury I'd never seen from him before.

A weaker person than myself would have fainted at the sight. Instantly our eyes connected and I was beyond relieved that he was here. His gaze flickered to my bruised cheek, his worried expression darkening.

Before I could process what was happening, Edward had James in his solid grip, dragging him up like a rag doll. "What the fuck did you do her!?" he yelled angrily, his fist reeling back in preparation for a blow.

"Don't!" I shouted, moving for the first time. "Edward, don't," I ordered as James's head rolled back, revealing his grotesque, broken nose.

Just then, I realized that Edward brought company. None other than Laurent passed over the fallen door, Marc flapping like a bird at his heels.

"Bella, are you alright?" he squeaked behind Laurent's elegant three-piece suit of burgundy silk.

"We arrived as soon as we could manage," Laurent said apologetically.

"I'll be fine." I looked back to Edward, his hands still fisted in James's bloody shirt.

"Why?" he growled, responding to my earlier outburst.

I put the steak knife down on the counter, flexing my stiff hand from the strained grip I'd had around the handle. "Because, the police will take into account your abuse and I don't want James finding any loop hole against us. Let's leave it at self-defense. Please, Edward." I wanted to kill James more than anyone, but one of us had to remain levelheaded in this.

We stared at each other, my eyes pleading with his deadly gaze. Uncurling his fingers, Edward finally released James with a shove and stood, his eyes trained like a hunter on the fallen scoundrel. "Laurent, please call the police and inform them of the situation."

Laurent's almond eyes found mine briefly before elegantly sweeping out of the room with his cell phone in hand.

"Well, it looks like my work is done..." Marc started, looking ill at the scene before him. "I let these two in the building when they said it was urgent... that you might be in trouble." He looked toward James uneasily, slightly horrified by what could have happened.

"Thank you, Marc," I said gently, placing a kiss on his cheek. "I owe you more than I can say."

He smiled, turning red as a beet, mumbling about checking on Laurent as he left.

No sooner did Edward bring me into his embrace, holding me close and careful like I was made out of thinly-spun glass. We didn't speak, and Edward looked at me more closely. The back of his hand lightly brushed over the bruise at my cheek, his expression one of pained concern.

"You didn't know," I whispered.

Edward put a finger to my lips and shook his head, his gaze taking me in with new determination, his jaw clenching. It was his way of composing how upset he was and I wondered what my own expression held. Though I continued to tremble, I felt like nothing bad could ever touch me again in his presence.

"Pack some clothes. After we sort everything out with the police, I'm taking you away." His low voice was carefully calm.

Averting my eyes from James's gasping form, I headed to my room to do as Edward told me. In the bathroom I splashed water on my face, eyeing the damage. My hands were still shaking as I coated them in liquid soap, attempting to scrub off the experience I'd just been through.

My mind was still coping with what could have happened. I pushed away the sickening thoughts for my own sanity, and stared at myself in the mirror. My skin was horribly pale and blotchy with stress, a large spot on my cheek marbled purple and red. My eyes were troubled, hardened and glassy. I undid my torn blouse, drawing in slow, deep breaths to keep calm. Cautiously, I examined the smatter of bruises on my body in the mirror: red fingerprints on my arms and wrists, marks at my hip. My head was still pounding in pain and my back and shoulders ached from the wall.

Refastening my blouse, I carefully threw my disheveled hair up into a messy bun and grabbed things at my closet. I barely registered my movements as I put together a suitcase of my belongings. Closing my eyes, I took a moment to mentally prepare myself for the chaos that would ensue with the police questioning.

When I reentered my living room with a steadier mindset, James was curled up in a fetal position, trembling on the floor. I rushed over in panic, my reaction contrasting heavily to Edward who was casually leaning in the damaged doorway, glaring.

James's face was white as a sheet mixed with green to complete a terrified complexion. "What the hell did you do to him?" I asked, my fists balling. Edward and I being held accountable for this was the last bit of stress I needed right now.

James answered with a pathetic whimper, curling up further like a centipede. Edward however, was enigmatic again, his posture seemingly relaxed.

"I begged you not to abuse him. The police will probably be here shortly and see..."

Edward pushed off the wall, unconcerned by this detail. "I believe the purpose of your request was not to leave a mark for others to _see_. I assure you, Bella, a criminal investigation won't find anything," he replied smoothly.

"But..." I looked back at James with a critical eye.

He trembled in fear, any little sound making him clam up further. It was surreal to see the epitome of my fears curled up like a scared child on my floor. I couldn't imagine what Edward had done or said to him, and I wasn't sure that I really wanted to know.

After a thorough interrogation with the police, James was carted off and my apartment was temporarily put out of business. Edward spoke with my landlady about the building's security—or rather lack thereof—as we informed her of the situation.

Laurent and Marc had departed long ago and by the time everything was settled, Edward was driving us back to his apartment at three o'clock in the morning.

I was beyond exhausted, yet my mind was restless, replaying events, wandering to seemingly random thoughts, and occasionally I found myself staring blankly out the window. "How did you know to rush in?" I was most interested in how things had played out before Edward broke down my door.

"I didn't at first..." he answered in a tight voice. "You left your purse in my car and I thought you might need some things in it. I turned around and drove back to your apartment. From my window I saw Laurent speaking with a man I didn't recognize who was holding a camera around his neck." Edward glanced at me and I nodded in understanding. "Apparently Laurent was concerned of James not halting in his ways and had left his camera man, John, on surveillance. He followed James straight to your apartment building, and saw him slip inside with an unsuspecting neighbor. Immediately, John called Laurent to contact you."

"Wait, so that was Laurent that called me earlier? I thought it was you calling before James smashed my phone to bits."

He shook his head. "I had already been driving back to your apartment when I saw Laurent on your stoop. He told me your phone cut off in static when he tried to reach you and feared the worst. I... I remembered that you thought I was Marc outside your door that night after the carnival, so I looked his name up in the doorbell directory and buzzed him. Marc came downstairs to meet us, very suspicious, but Laurent explained to him the situation as we rushed up the stairs. I couldn't stop to talk to him. There was only one thing on my mind and I feared that I was too late."

Overcome with these developments, I didn't know which to cry about in relief first. For leaving my bag in Edward's car, for James smashing my phone when Laurent called, for Marc letting them inside, or for Edward turning his car around when he did. I squeezed Edward's hand. "You weren't."

The conversation came to a halt and I swallowed back heavy emotions of gratitude. Edward drove with a tense posture as I continued to process the events. It was quiet and uncomfortable, but we were together which was all that I cared about at the moment. Edward had rescued me tonight and continued to be a strong structure in my personal life. Had our situations been reversed, I would have broken down that door without hesitation, too.

In silence, Edward brought my luggage to his bedroom, watching me like a hawk as I slipped off my shoes.

"I'll draw you a bath," he offered quietly, disappearing into his bathroom. The soft splashing of water could be heard behind the door and I removed my torn clothing in his bedroom, hurriedly covering up in a bathrobe.

Edward's bathroom was tiled pure white, the ceiling lights cast dimly. Twin sinks set in polished marble counters, a spacious stand up shower ensconced in glass stood in the corner, and an extended Jacuzzi tub at the far end, where Edward half-sat. He was still in his slacks, oxford shirt, and tie, leaning over the edge as he adjusted the valves. He was lost in thought, not acknowledging me until I was almost upon him.

Small traces of his troubled expression quickly vanished, his features smoothing out as he took my hand, bringing me closer to the fragrant bubbles. They floated on the water's surface, inviting and warm.

"Thank you," I said softly. Not wanting to burden him with the mess that I was any further, I pulled my hand from his grasp. "I think I'm all set now."

"No," he said firmly, looking up at me. "You're not going to get rid of me that easily."

"What can I do that will be more effective?" I was serious, silently pleading with him as I stared back into his guarded, green depths.

His hands lightly reached up to the terrycloth. "Don't hide this from me. I want to see." He swallowed loudly, his voice almost unsteady. Our gazes fixed on each other as I allowed him to unwrap the robe. It was a moment before he lowered his eyes to my body. His observation didn't last long. Edward turned away, propping his elbows on his knees, covering his face with his hands.

I climbed into the tub, settling myself into the steaming, flowery water. It was heaven against my tired, sore limbs and I closed my eyes against the dull throb of my head.

A gentle caress made my eyes slowly open halfway. Edward was washing my hair, curling his fingers into the wet strands to spread shampoo. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, leaning over me to concentrate on the gentle task. Through my blurred half-sleep, a swift sliver of my vision focused on his face. His expression was intense and open, a mixture of pain and exaltation. I couldn't understand the contradicting emotions. My lids slid shut as he continued his light ministrations, applying conditioner and rinsing.

~/~/~/~

I must have completely dozed off in the bathtub because hours later I found myself waking in silken sheets and deep pillows. Blinking against the darkness, I turned slightly, wincing in pain at the soreness of my head and jaw. Edward was facing me on his side, his lips pouted with a frown, brows crinkled in his sleep. I turned to the other side, finding aspirin tablets on the bedside table and a bottle of water. Awkwardly, I reached over to consume the medication, taking long draws of the cool liquid.

When I rolled back to face him, Edward shifted and sighed, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips. He held it there in his sleep, our threaded hands easily becoming a connection that I never wanted to break.

I snuggled closer to him, placing a small kiss on his chin. He stirred with a soft groan, the blue sheet slipping from his chest. My hand escaped down the heated skin, tracing over the angles of abdominal muscle.

"Bella," he whispered, retrieving my hand back into his. "Rest now."

I inched closer, pulling my hand away to place it back on his chest. "I want you."

"You have me."

"I want you to make love to me," I clarified, trailing my fingertips around his nipple.

He drew away from me, his eyes opening in the early morning darkness now. "You need to heal, recover... You're upset and not thinking clearly."

"My thoughts have never been clearer," I insisted.

He propped himself up on one arm, looking down at me with an indefinable expression.

"No."

My chest tightened as sudden tears formed in my eyes. "Why?"

A finger trailed with the lightest of touches over a cloudy bruise at my arm, then ascended to brush away a fallen tear, lingering on the darker bruise at my cheek. The flesh was tender still, stinging under his slender finger. He noticed my flinch of pain and moved to my temple, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "It would only hurt your body more. I'm not going to take advantage like that." His hand dropped back to his side, tucking the blankets around my bare shoulders.

Edward couldn't stand to look at me this way... A sob bubbled in my chest.

He exhaled with impatience. "Please Bella, don't do this right now."

"Do what?" I cried, sniffling in the sheets. I found myself crying a lot in front of Edward these days. Difficult situations usually brought us closer, emotionally and physically. It had surprised me by how much better I'd felt after opening up and being with him. We needed each other, but he was the one resisting now.

"Shh," he soothed, running his hand down my arm. "I don't deserve it. My carelessness almost lost you."

"Don't even think about taking responsibility for his actions. I'm here because of you."

Edward turned away, lying on his back with a heavy sigh. "I still want to kill him."

I scooted closer, placing a kiss on his shoulder, desperate for affection and wanting to sooth his anger. "You don't really want to do that."

"Why?" he asked in a hard voice.

"Because, you were meant to be in my life." _Not rotting in a jail cell._

He rolled back over to me. "And you in mine."

"Then stop dwelling..." I whispered, slipping my hand below the sheet, cupping him. He groaned, gently pressing me onto my back and smoothed my hair from my face. Reluctance was written all over his face, but my hands moved up his arms and shoulders. "I _need_ you."

Gradually, my dry lips felt the heat of his soft mouth, but the kiss was stiff, the aspirin hadn't taken affect yet. He made a careful path around my jaw and down my throat. My need for him was urgent, but he took his time pressing his lips to seemingly every inch of skin. By the time he gave attention to the tops of my breasts, I was vibrating beneath him, breathing heavy and hot with need. Automatically I cradled his head to me and his mouth gently suckled as his hand lightly brushed down my side.

We didn't speak much, and allowed our actions to show what we felt.

Kissing under the curve of my breasts, Edward's lips dragged down my ribs with more energy. His breath danced along my skin and my hands smoothed over his shoulders and back up into his hair.

His trail slowed at my stomach, pressing his cheek to my abdomen before giving me soft, open-mouthed attention. I curled my fingers into his hair, arching against him as he ventured lower, the aches dormant in comparison with pleasure.

Instead of taking what I offered, he worked to make me feel worshiped—the exact opposite of how James had treated me like an expendable object for his control. Edward was restoring me, kiss by kiss. It was a slow build, but there was no more doubt that I was consumed by us.

As he kissed on the inside curve of hipbone, his fingers checked for wetness, and a tremor of sensitive pleasure spread through my body. Equally absorbed by my reactions, without pause he kissed the apex between my thighs, causing me to jerk with a moaned whimper. His tongue worked over me and with few strokes, my orgasm sang all the way to my toes and fingertips.

I trembled with light-headed euphoria as his hands moved to my sizzling limbs, continuing his fiery trail of kisses. Bending each leg at a time, he kissed down my inner thighs, over the indent of knee, along the curve of calve muscle, to the tops of my dainty feet. I watched with glazed appreciation at the extent of his care.

I pulled him back to me in a state of deep, tender passion and wrapped the legs that he worshiped around his hips. He pulsed against my entrance, yet hesitated, breathing quickly as he looked into my face. My vision was glassy and wet as I tried to _show_ him that we were deeply joined in ways that mattered. Despite my vulnerable circumstances, I didn't want him to be unsure of my judgment or reasoning. Hooking my ankles, I pushed at his lower back, enveloping him in slick heat, making him gasp.

We started slow, gradually quickening with desperation. Our lips brushed together intermittently through breathy moans, our heavy gazes connected, watching the pleasure light up across our features.

Edward released into me and I openly absorbed the emotional intimacy created between us. When a thin stream of orange sunrise broke the horizon, for the first time I knew I was exposed on several levels. And yet, I felt utterly safe.

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"**Ceci ne me surprend pas." means "This does not surprise me." I thank Lurecyka profusely for helping me with the translation and generally putting up with my total incomprehension of the French language :) **

**So, call my bluff! Many of you suspected Marc and/or Laurent to hook up with James's devious plans. I was hoping that since Laurent was one of Charlie's resources for Bella, readers would trust him. Chief Swan would never lead his daughter astray. All of these characters have a purpose.**

**Today was my birthday, so please make me smile and review! I enjoy hearing from each and every one of you, and am thankful that you still enjoy this story :)  
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	24. Chapter 24

**Welcome to all the new readers, I thank you for stumbling upon this little story. **

**Endless thanks and love to Babette12 for her support and fixing my plot fails in her amazing reviews, Nicnicd for beta'ing this monster, and to Dollegirl for, well, she knows :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight………….just a ducky #6**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves." Blaise Pascal _

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

I'd taken a few personal days off from work, enjoying the private haven of Edward's apartment. I found that Edward's absence from the bed broke my sleep rather suddenly when he woke early to get ready for work in the mornings. He would rest his hand on my hip and kiss my face just before leaving. It was a lovely simple moment, fleeting but with depth of feeling. Uncomfortable by the loss of him, I started my own day by reading the _Seattle Times_ and sipping coffee_. _Unfortunately, Edward didn't have any cream in the refrigerator since he drank his coffee black.

I walked around, observing the spotless gleam of the place, becoming more accustomed with Edward's lifestyle. Apparently he had a cleaning lady, Maria, who popped in every two weeks to take care of the place and keep things in order. I was careful not to knock anything over and spoil the seemingly pristine, feng shui arrangement. I wanted to be the perfect guest and regimentally cleaned up after myself wherever signs of habitation became too apparent.

I ran a fingertip along the polished wood of a framed picture on his wall. My thoughts wandered to how one day there might be a photo of he and I together hanging in that spot. I shook the thoughts to the back of my mind and concentrated on the things I needed to take care of first. I was given an opportunity to get my life back in order and there were a few responsibilities.

I dialed Renee to update her on my situation and frowned when I got the answering machine. _"You've reached Renee and Phil Dwyer. We're in the Bahamas until the twenty-fifth and will return your call when we get back! Au Revoir!"_ I left a message asking her to call me without alarming her with details, and reproached her for not telling me that she would be out of the country.

Charlie was ballistic over the phone. I had relayed to him the events of the incident with James, but it was no use editing. Charlie had gotten access to the police report and my heart sank. I knew it hurt him to see his daughter's cuts and bruises photographed and filed. On some of the difficult cases I'd worked on at Lawrence Associates, I had learned to reserve myself professionally. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for Charlie to keep a detached facade in his 'Chief Swan' role. I did my best to reassure him that I was a quick healer and had the best support system and friends that a woman could have.

"Maybe I should visit you, help out for awhile..." he offered in a tight voice.

"Dad, you know I'd love to see you, but it would be a waste of time seeing that things are already getting back to normal." I felt bad denying Charlie, but there was nothing he could do that had already been done by Edward and the SPD.

"Supporting my only daughter is most certainly _not_ a waste of time, young lady," he growled, causing my chest to swell and tighten. "Maybe you should take some more time off then and get some air in Forks. I can arrange time off, too. Remember that diner we used to go to? You always liked their cobbler. We could spend time. Maybe we could…" he stuttered to a halt, struggling with his words as he exhaled heavily. "I know you hate fishing though…" he muttered to himself.

"I really do hate fishing." I hiccupped a laugh as my vision blurred with unshed tears. "Honestly, I like staying busy and structuring my life again. As much as I love home… I'm afraid I would go stir-crazy there."

"Hmph. You know that you're always welcome here. This is still your home too, Bells."

"I know dad, and I do appreciate it." I wiped my tear ducts, inhaling a shaky breath, trying to sober myself. "Anyway, James's trial is in a few weeks. He's going to stay behind bars and I won't have to worry about him anymore."

"He sure will, especially if I have anything to do with it. Nobody hurts my little girl and gets away with it," he muttered angrily. I knew Charlie was checking his gun in its holster as he spoke. Normally I'd laugh at the thought, but not under these circumstances.

The familiar worry of my father reminded me of one icy morning in high school when Tyler Crowley almost drove his vehicle into me at the school parking lot. Luckily I had skidded on the ice on my way inside the building, and unknowingly escaped death. Charlie wanted to close the school for the whole day and arrest everybody before I'd pleaded through his paternal temper that I was fine—save for a few scrapes on my palms. Eventually Tyler had redeemed himself over the years and became a Deputy at the small town police department. While I understood Charlie, I was well accustomed to him overreacting.

I continued to profusely assure him that I would be all right and promised to call him if I needed anything—even moral support. For some reason, I hadn't told him about Edward, not feeling like it was the proper time to bring up that awkward conversation. I didn't want to rile Charlie up more than necessary while he was polishing his gun collection. He would want to size up Edward by requesting us both to visit Forks. Really, that could wait. I needed my life to resume normalcy, and quickly.

Alice and Emmett visited me as soon as they could manage. I gave the doorman permission to let them inside and we embraced in the doorway of the apartment. Their gazes faltered when they saw the healing bruise at my jaw. Emmett squished the air out of my lungs with his classic bear hug, holding onto me moments longer than usual. Alice chattered her concerns and updates as I led them to the soft leather couches in Edward's living room.

"This place really is a dream. If you're going to keep Edward for anything, let it be for the expensive furnishings and breath-taking city view."

I laughed as she threw her bag and coat down on the cushion next to her. "It's been a nice place to stay temporarily," I admitted.

"No shit, this place has everything. Did you see this flat screen?" Emmett asked with breathless reverence, examining the plasma television. "This is like... bachelor pad heaven."

I grabbed one of the remotes on the coffee table and ignited the gas flame fireplace with the press of a button. Both their eyes widened in awe at this small display of an instant crackling fire. Emmett continued marveling at gadgets and magazines around the living room like a young boy in a candy store as Alice turned to me with a fresh expression of concern.

"Bella, I can't believe... I just— How are you?" Her words short-circuited in her distress.

"I'm all right, really," I answered, glancing at Emmett. "I was shaken, but I've been on the mend. And Edward has been great..." After a few days my banged head was now only a dull pain and the bruises were already fading to a sickly yellow color.

"Thank God for him, Bella. We were so worried and I'm relieved that James is put away for now."

"He's lucky to be in police custody," Emmett grumbled in a steel voice while examining one of Edward's replicas of some African artifact. "If I'd dealt with him, he'd be on life support at Harborview Medical."

"Emmett, put that down," Alice chided. "I'm just glad no one was permanently injured."

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked, lowering my voice. She nodded as Emmett joined us on the couch with interest. "Aside from myself, James _was_ hurt. I mean, Edward did something to him... but I've been hesitant to ask for details. There were no signs of a beating, but you should have seen James. He was whimpering on the floor like I'd never seen from a grown man before. Part of me wants to know out of curiosity, but the other part..."

"I wanna know," Emmett cut in with a trace of excitement.

Alice gasped beside me. "Had James _whimpering_? Goodness..."

"He probably gave the boys a squeeze."

Alice and I looked toward Emmett. "_The boys?_"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, ya know, twigs n' berries. The family jewels. Man tonsils. Kerbangers. Love Spuds. Cock n—"

Alice lightly whacked him on the shoulder, which had the impact of a butterfly kiss against his flexed muscle. "We get it!"

"Ewww." I shuddered visibly, really not wanting to know details anymore.

"Sorry, just saying." He shrugged, looking like he wanted to change the subject, too.

"Gosh Em, you have no tact," Alice remarked firmly.

"It's okay. I'm not _that_ unstable, just glad that it's over. I appreciate you guys stopping by. I'm not used to having days off from work and I'm kind of bored, but... I don't feel like going outside either." I picked at a loose thread on my jeans, sighing.

Emmett lifted Alice by the midsection and tossed her over to his left side so he could squish in between us. Alice landed against the leather cushion, her shriek gurgling off as Emmett put his arms around both our shoulders and hugged us into his broad chest. "Let's just chill for a bit then. While we're here, I might as well watch a game..."

"Oh all right. You've been practically panting over Edward's television. But we're watching B_ridezillas_," I said, switching channels.

I received a groan from Emmett and a silent fist pump from Alice as we snuggled further into the couch and watched brides-to-be throwing tantrums for a few hours.

~/~/~/~

Truth was, I was growing restless and fidgety, and missed Edward while he was at work. After Emmett and Alice's visit, I finally ventured outside to the market next day, realizing that I couldn't survive on air and expensive wine alone in Edward's apartment. I also found that cooking and baking allowed the time to pass more quickly. I easily felt in control again through the methodical tasks of cooking techniques and preparation. Edward liked my food and I couldn't think of a better way to be a more grateful guest. He assured me that I should feel at home and help myself to whatever was in his apartment, but I didn't feel comfortable behaving that self-entitled.

Edward and I fell into a tentative routine where I had dinner ready for him just as he was walking in the door after sundown. He was surprised the first time as I was busying setting the table with silverware. I smiled shyly. Just having his presence fill the apartment made my body relax and warm all over.

"What's all this?" he asked, gently bringing me against his chest from behind. His early evening stubble grazed the curve of my neck as he kissed at my shoulder. "It smells great."

I leaned back against his solid frame. "Dinner. I need routine back in my life," I sighed, tilting my head to give him more access to my skin.

"I could get used to this routine," he mumbled.

I could too, which was a little scary to admit to myself. I hadn't thought of my apartment or my own space since staying with Edward and liked having him all to myself without worrying about our behavior at work. I was… surprised by how natural it felt.

Feeling the tension in my body, he pressed his lips up the side of my throat, his arms squeezing me closer.

His nearness had already left me breathless and my eyes fluttered at his tender touch on my sensitive skin. "I wanted to do something nice for you. I think I enjoy feeding you."

"It seems that you and my family have something in common." His chuckle whispered over my pulse before he kissed the spot, opening his mouth slightly.

I swallowed against the pressure of his lips, my heartbeat quickening. "Are- Are you hungry?"

"Very much," he said, turning me in his arms to face him. Noticing my flushed complexion, he smiled and examined the faded bruises with a critical eye.

I smiled back shyly, untangling myself from him. "It's good that we spent so much time bickering over lunch these past months. I have a good idea of the foods you like," I teased, moving around to the kitchen.

"After tasting your lasagna, I'll pretty much eat anything you cook," he said, his voice muted behind a cabinet door. "Which kind of wine do you want tonight, red or white?" He reached up to rifle through his wine stock.

"I think white would go better with these scallops," I answered, bringing our plated food and other dishes to the table as he uncorked the bottle.

Edward poured two glasses and joined me. "Wow..." he stammered, taking in the abundance of our meal.

I admit I had gotten a little carried away. Scallops were served with roasted vegetables, fresh salad, buttered rice, a cheese board with toasted baguette, and iced lemon water. All in all, it was definitely enough for six people to eat.

"Um, well... yeah." I walked back into the kitchen to finish loading the dishwater and wipe down the counter tops from my mess. "I hope you enjoy," I called, wetting the sponge. All of the scraps from prepping the vegetables were in the compost trash, but there were still residual starches that the cutting board didn't catch.

"What are you doing?" Edward said from right behind me.

I startled, but quickly drew the sponge along the marble. "Just tidying up real quick."

"You don't need to do that, Bella," he said, stopping my hand with his.

"I won't be more than a few minutes."

"Bella, please. I want you to feel comfortable here and not jump to clean something at every turn. It's okay if you leave behind a few messes. It can wait until later and I'm more than capable of cleaning a dish."

"I just don't want to be an inconvenience while I'm staying here," I replied, turning to face him.

He wagged my hand by the wrist, making me drop the sponge into the sink. "Not at all. I like your signs of life all over my apartment," he assured sweetly, handing me a dishtowel to dry my hands. "If you're going to be cleaning this much then I want you to put on one of those sexy little French maid costumes." He chuckled at my scowl, guiding me by the shoulders until I was out of the kitchen and firmly seated in my chair. "Regardless, I'm not eating without you and I'm hungry."

Edward immensely enjoyed how I familiarized myself in his living space for the next few days after that—_especially in the kitchen_. I hadn't really behaved like a housewife since living with Charlie years ago, but picked my routine back up of doing the laundry, perusing at the market, cooking dinner, and sorting clutter. Furthermore, I couldn't stand the boredom that came from lying around. Aside from the practicality of this routine, more than anything, I wanted to repay Edward for letting me stay, for caring and never giving up on me, for the kindness that swirled under every smirk.

I had so much time to eat up that I even alphabetized all of Edward's movies on his shelves and tried my hand at a few new dessert recipes. When Edward came home one evening to my flour-covered apron pasted to my clothes, he'd dropped his things in the hallway and we made slow, heated love against the counter. He told me that the lemon custard tasted even better from my skin.

In fact, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I put my new determination in life into cooking and attacking Edward before he had a chance to slip his coat off. His cold skin from the weather against my warmth excited me when I peeled his clothes away. I also bumped my head against the wall so hard once in my overzealous ambush that Edward insisted he examine every inch of my head before continuing. Overall I was fine and mostly dizzy with lust and affection.

If this really was the "honeymooning" phase, I was surprised Emmett and Rosalie had resurfaced so soon. Though the circumstances had essentially brought Edward and I to live together temporarily, I was feeling more comfortable with Edward every day. I couldn't keep away from him.

After another of our sexually eventual evenings, we lay in a tangle of sweaty limbs, letting our breathing slow, and exchanged glazed smiles. My elbow was propped up, head resting in the palm of my hand to gaze down at him. I lightly traced my fingers over his right shoulder. It had been a little sore after he broke down my apartment door, and I noticed it most when he awkwardly put on his jacket in the morning. My fingertips moved to his jaw and slid through his mussed head of hair. Instantly he relaxed and closed his eyes—so unlike the vigorous response I usually received when we were connected and grabbing at each other.

"You like when I play with your hair?" I asked, trailing my fingertips along the crest of his head, watching the strands bend and stick up. It was incredibly soft, matted a little on the sides from our activity.

He moaned and sighed, closing his eyes, the reddish-blond lashes resting atop his angled cheekbones. "It feels good."

My fingers moved slowly, pushing the feathered mess away from his forehead. "I would have aimlessly played with your hair much sooner if I knew how much you enjoyed it." He looked so peaceful.

"My mother used to do this when I was a child, knowing it put me right to sleep."

Again, I imagined Edward as a young man and my chest swelled—not so much with maternal sensitivity, but something closer to strong affectionate pride. "So, you were a wild child and your mother had to find your kryptonite, hmm?" I liked when we were light and playful like this, just enjoying each other.

His mouth twitched as he answered with sarcasm, "You're my kryptonite."

"I'm not sure you should be giving me that much power," I teased.

"I thought it was mutual," he laughed.

His smile was tight and lopsided as he arched slightly like a giant feline, enjoying my hands swirling in his hair. His reaction was more arousing than I expected and my thighs tightened. My hand rerouted and skimmed down his abdomen under the sheet. "Maybe _this_," and I wrapped my fingers around his shaft, "is my kryptonite."

He gasped softly, growing hard in my hand. "Is this something you've studied frequently?"

I gripped him tighter and pulled up slightly. "I'm not confessing anything. I said, maybe." I pulled my lower lip between my teeth to keep from laughing.

"Well if you keep being so rough, I might have to answer that challenge," he said, opening his eyes, the green in them sharpening with renewed lust.

"Please," I goaded, my smile stretching further across my face.

Edward sat up and my hand fell away from him. "You might regret those words," he threatened playfully, tilting me onto my back without pause. He settled between my legs, already kissing a path up my throat.

_Regret._ That word sobered me a little. "And if you _are_ my kryptonite... You- you wouldn't hurt me?" My voice tapered off at the end, cracking into a serious question.

He halted and looked into my eyes. "Of course not," he whispered.

I pulled him close, dragging my hands up to his hair again. "Sometimes… I think that if I tell you how much I've really thought about you or the immense affect you have on me, the more easily you could hurt me. That's silly, I know. But you're the first person I've let in and… Well, you know that already. I'm just trying to say that... yes, you are my kryptonite or Achilles Heel or whatever you want to call it—in every way it seems. You didn't even trick me into confessing this time. Now that I've rambled enough and embarrassed—"

Edward cut my words off, kissing me hard until I had to come up for air. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," he said breathlessly. "I think I like when you ramble. It's definitely a turn-on, Ms. Swan."

I took him inside me and we stroked and kissed until there was nothing left. With every gasp and harsh breath, we succumbed to the rawness of our need.

~/~/~/~

The following day as I was making my grocery list for the evening, I received a house call from Alice.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work until later?" I asked, but not unhappy to see her.

She shrugged, peeling her coat off and placed her things on the kitchen table. "I wanted to come by and make sure you're all right. Rose let me have the afternoon off."

"Huh. Well, I'm doing good, just fighting boredom and about to go to the market. But I'm glad you came over. I've missed social interaction other than Edward's company for the last few days."

"I'm glad," she replied, the smile never reaching her eyes. "Maybe I could hang out with you this afternoon before Edward gets home. If you don't have any major plans..."

I scoffed. "Yeah, my day is jam-packed." Alice was uncommonly silent to my sarcastic jab. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Hmm? Nothing," she laughed weakly. "I'm still observing how nice this apartment is."

"Yeah right. Spill," I commanded, concerned by the muted troubled look in her hazel eyes. "How many times have you forced confessions out of me?"

"I know," she sighed as I pulled her to the couch in the living room. "It's just... it's so hard for me to admit that my relationship has its flaws or that it's not completely secure."

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged again, her shoulders finally hunching. She looked as sad as a wilted flower. "Jasper's been acting weird lately."

"That's odd," I hedged. "I've never seen him act, I don't know, not weird? What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I don't know. It's different. I can feel it. One moment he's clingy and the next," she sighed again and I realized that she was trying to prevent herself from crying. "The next thing I know, he's distant. Flaky."

"Is he on medication or something?" I felt ridiculous for asking, but I wasn't expecting Alice to ever have relationship problems.

My mind turned over how different everything seemed. Here I was in an actual relationship, and Alice's was rocky. I wanted everyone to be happy, especially now that I had discovered my own happiness. Contemplating the possibility that things wouldn't work out for Alice and Jasper hurt my heart. I'd never seen anything short of them being solid in their love. I could only imagine the worries she was currently going through and prevented myself from thinking of that ever happening with Edward and I. Seeing Alice now… I guessed anything was possible. It was unnerving.

Her brows scrunched together. "Not that I know of... Do you think that's it?"

It was my turn to shrug. "I honestly don't know. Jasper has always been level-headed and mellow. Constant. Definitely not flaky..."

Alice looked up at me with glassy eyes. "Maybe I've been too bossy of a girlfriend and I care too much about appearances. Maybe I've been driving him away!"

"I hate to break it to you, but if Jasper was ever scared of you, he would have run away a long time ago. You have a very strong personality," I clarified.

"Oh," she replied glumly.

I realized that I wasn't being very helpful to my friend. "Maybe I can distract you by dragging you to the market now," I suggested.

She nodded and I gave her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder.

We gathered our things, I stuffed my shopping list in my pocket, and we headed out the door. We walked somewhat briskly, bundling our scarves around our necks tighter against the chilly breeze.

"Do you want Edward to find out what's wrong with him?" I tentatively asked, breaking our silence. I realized that I probably should have asked Edward first before offering this favor to Alice.

"That might help. I just wish Jazz would confide in me about what's bothering him." She was sad and sort of dragging her feet as she walked beside me. Alice was always the chipper, loud, energetic woman who cheered me up. To see her reduced to this melancholy was highly unsettling.

I put an arm around her shoulders. "We'll figure it out, Alice. Somehow we'll get to the bottom of this. I'm sorry I've been so absent lately."

She shook her head. "It's not your fault. And even if you were around more, I doubt that would have changed his behavior."

When we arrived back to the apartment, Alice surprised me with a comment as she helped me unpack the bags. "You've changed, Bella." I wasn't quite sure how to respond so remained silent. "I mean, you're still the same person, but now... you're more careful. I notice how you cautiously look around outside, like James could still be nearby… And you've always been fierce and practical, but I'm sensing that your sophistication isn't as light-hearted as it used to be."

I slid some vegetables onto the top shelf of the refrigerator, realizing again how observant Alice was. She wasn't just pushy and insistent, she _knew_ people, and made up her mind about what was good for them. Sometimes I forgot that remarkable quality she possessed underneath her bright smile and forceful nature.

"I think that's true..." I conceded quietly. "I have a lot more to hold onto and fear losing this time, but I also feel good about where I am and being with Edward. It's sickeningly shameful to think that I could have missed out on all this..." I didn't want to be long-winded about my new-found romance when Alice was feeling so depressed.

Alice shook her head as she rolled up the plastic bags. "I'm positive you wouldn't have given Edward up. You two were so drawn to each other from the start. Have a little faith in yourself, Bella."

I smiled to myself. Edward and I _were_ drawn to each other from the beginning. For me, everything was always about Edward from the moment he replaced Emmett's empty seat at Monty's. Now, it didn't matter if we were clawing each other's eyes out or making love on the kitchen floor, we couldn't keep apart. Alice had stuck by me through all the months of tug-of-war with him, and my overall confusion and frustration. And here she was again, being strong and supportive when she was falling apart inside. My eyes watered unexpectedly.

"You need to take off more afternoons, Alice. You always know what I need to hear." I hoped one day that I could say the right thing to help her too, like she had done for me on so many occasions. But I didn't know how to fix her relationship.

"I wish," she agreed, giving me a warm smile.

"Don't worry, I'll be back at work on Monday."

Later that evening after Edward and I had stuffed ourselves with steak and salad, I asked him about Jasper.

"I haven't noticed anything unusual about him lately," Edward told me as he smoothed the front of his fingers down my arm.

We lay together in bed, completely immersed in our bubble of infatuation. We were always touching, even innocently. I played with Edward's other hand, studying its strength and grace.

"Maybe you could ask?"

"Guys don't discuss things the way women do. It's not the same... If Jasper wants to confide in me about something, he'll approach me."

"Hmph, now you sound like Emmett," I grumbled, dissatisfied with his lack of enthusiasm to help. Although Emmett would confide in me as if I were equal to a guy, his partner in crime. With Edward, the dynamic was a bit different. "You haven't noticed anything at the office? Do you think something bad will happen?"

Edward shifted, bringing me snug against his side. "No. Jasper is devoted to her."

"You sound pretty confident," I said, my voice half-mumbled against his chest.

His heartbeat quickened, echoing in his chest beneath my ear. He didn't speak anymore, his only answer being curling his arms around me more tightly. Edward loved Alice and Jasper, and I didn't understand why this new development didn't concern him. As his fingers lightly glided up and down my back, I let my worries subside and relaxed into his strong comfort.

~/~/~/~

I finally got the call from my landlady notifying me of the new built-in security system that was installed yesterday morning and the other repairs on my door. I packed my things slowly on Saturday morning while I waited for Emmett with trepidation about detaching myself from this new routine and revisiting the crime scene. Emmett insisted helping me move my few things back to my lonely apartment and I couldn't refuse. He was eager to do whatever I needed, even suggesting that he sleep on my couch for the first few days.

I wouldn't dream of having Emmett bend over backwards for me, and Edward was by my side ready to take off like a bullet to assist me. "I'm perfectly capable. I don't know why Emmett bothers coming all this way," he grumbled when I told him about Emmett's offer.

Meanwhile, I was rifling through my suitcase, pressing down my clothes as much as possible. I hadn't over-packed, but was stalling for some reason.

Edward came up behind me, running his hands up my arms, and sweetly kissing my shoulder. It became a familiar greeting, one that I very much enjoyed. "Is this it?" he asked, referring to my one suitcase.

Nodding, I pulled the zipper closed with finality. Turning around to face him, my eyes lowered to his chest and my hands lightly glided down his shirt. I was fidgety and nervous, and my stomach felt heavy.

Edward slipped a finger to my chin, tilting my jaw up so my eyes met his gaze. He was looking at me that way again, quizzical and examining my expression with his keen observation. Normally it made me feel uncomfortable to be under his microscope, but right now I wanted him to just _know_ without saying any of it.

I forced a smile as his hand moved to cup my cheek and he leaned down, kissing me slowly on the mouth. His lips were so familiar to me now, the way they slid over mine and enticed me. Just as my fingers went into his hair, the telecom buzzed. We broke apart and I wiped the corner of my mouth, the taste of him tingling on my lips before evaporating.

"That must be Emmett," I said quietly.

I swept out of the bedroom to let Emmett in as Edward brought my suitcase to the door. Emmett stood, dressed in his khakis and gym jacket, ready for labor.

"Hey man, glad to see you more _dressed_ this time," he boomed before breaking into a wicked chuckle.

"Glad to see that you know how to use a doorbell this time," Edward countered.

He laughed loudly and bumped Edward's shoulder to loosen him up, receiving a painful smile from him. It was difficult to tell whether they were kidding or serious during this whole exchange.

At the same time, they both reached for my suitcase, tripping into each other.

"It's all right, I got it," Emmett claimed, flexing his muscles.

"Already taken care of. I just brought it from our room and will take it down." Edward's use of "our" didn't escape my attention and I wondered if he was sad to see me reclaim my own apartment... I shook off my sad mood. Edward and I just weren't at that level in our relationship to live together yet.

"But you're not currently carrying it now. You put it down so its fair game."

"This isn't like stealing someone's empty chair."

Both men were now grabbing at opposite ends of the suitcase and tugging.

"Okay you two," I started, sitting in between them until my suitcase hit the floor under my weight with a thud. "Can we compromise here?"

"Bella, tell Emmett that I was already carrying—"

"You know I can handle this, Bella. Tell Edward how much I can bench—"

"Enough!" I shouted over them, crossing my arms over my chest. I looked at each man in turn, the decision to settling this ridiculous quarrel becoming even more difficult by the second. Emmett, my very best friend, looked at me with those big, hopeful, chocolate eyes and puppy dog pout. Edward's eyes were steady and tranquil; his entire being was my weakness. I sighed. This wasn't about choosing the man, but understanding the situation.

"Emmett... can you take my bag downstairs and load it in the car?" Edward's posture tensed as Emmett swung the suitcase around his body and hitched it like Santa.

"No problem. Meet ya downstairs. Good seeing you again, Edward. Oh yeah, and sweet plasma screen." He smiled genuinely and nodded as he departed.

After he left, I turned to Edward. "Hey," I said softly, watching his jaw flex. My decision had no real meaning other than letting Emmett do what he came to do.

I wrapped my arms around Edward's trim waist. "He really wants to help out so... maybe we can pick up where we left off?" Automatically my hands trailed up his back and onto his defined shoulders.

The corner of his lip quirked and he sighed, giving in. Balancing on the balls of my feet, I stretched up and kissed him, receiving a heated, but reserved yielding of his lips in return.

I should've been relieved to return to my apartment, but the thought of it seemed old and stale in comparison to my time with Edward. The right thing to do was leave, but it hurt a little.

"Who's going to cook for me now?" he murmured in my hair, smoothing a few strands away from my face with his hand.

I knew he wasn't really referring to my cooking, but my absence in general. "You'll just have to come over to my place more," I answered playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

I gave him one last peck at his throat before he walked me downstairs to Emmett's car. I fought another wave of sadness that hit from our physical separation. It was so deeply imbedded in my gut that every nerve in my body seemed to react at the loss. I chalked up the irrationality to the fact that I'd had a rough time lately dealing with the effect James had in my life and now heavily relied on Edward. Truthfully, it wasn't just having him for comfort, it was how much closer we'd become once I'd let myself open up. The teasing Mr. Cullen I'd once despised was still there, but his true self filled in the rest of the gaps, giving me almost a completed picture of the man I'd grown to admire.

I watched his reflection in the side mirror as we drove away; Edward standing with his hands in his pockets, his hair moving around in the breeze.

I steeled myself and focused on the road ahead. Now we could be free to our privacy and continue exploring each other without sharing our personal moments with a stalker. The future was open and laid out wide and inviting before us. I took comfort in that as we turned up the familiar street where my apartment building was nestled. It stood between the two pine trees just the same as I'd left it.

After I checked-in with my landlady for the new keys, Emmett hauled my suitcase up the stairs. He offered to stay for a bit, but I declined, assuring him that I would be all right and was feeling tired. I just wasn't in the mood to socialize. He squeezed me in his bear hug before leaving.

Aside from the new door, my place looked exactly the same. When we initially entered, I was extremely relieved to have Emmett with me for the first time. My mind flickered to the memory of James sitting in my chair, standing at the counter, bleeding on the floor. I blinked away the images and focused on unpacking my things. Though the place was clean and repaired, I scrubbed the entire apartment again.

By the time I finished, it was late afternoon and my back hurt. The sun dipped behind the horizon, casting streams of orange before snuffing out. Immediately, I flicked on all the lights. Darkness would never be the same for me again—at least not immediately.

Without much else to do, I spent extra time fluffing my pillows and smoothing the sheets before climbing into the cold bed. I wasn't used to how _quiet_ it was. Talking with Edward, even in whispers, had occupied me so much that the new silence was daunting. I willed myself to focus on the fact that I had slept here by myself more than not, and that doing so again would make me stronger and self-sufficient.

I rolled over onto my side and came face-to-face with my phone sitting in its console on the nightstand. It taunted me, knowing that I wanted to call that one person... It would have been more appropriate and less needy of me to text him, but with only my landline, I would have to just suck it up and call, and purchase a new cell phone tomorrow.

I had already memorized Edward's number and slowly punched it in with purpose. He picked up on the second ring.

"Bella?"

"Hi..."

We started talking at the same time and abruptly halted. I giggled under my breath as he paused before asking, "How are you?"

"Oh ya know... I'm fine," I answered vaguely.

"What are you doing?" he wheedled politely.

I looked around. What was I doing? "Just laying in bed," I said truthfully. "And looking at the ceiling."

"See anything interesting up there?"

"Not really."

A moment of silence ensued. I guessed Edward and I needed to practice talking on the phone more.

"Is your bed cold?" he finally asked in a low voice.

"How did you know?"

"I'll be right over." His line clicked off before I processed what he told me. I was already smiling.

I was wide-awake, so far from dozing, and threw off my blanket. I checked my emails in hopes of a little more distraction while I waited for Edward. As I skimmed through the list of junk mail to delete, my cursor paused on someone new in my inbox. Rosalie Lawrence_._

_Isabella,_

_I hope this email finds you well. Perhaps you would like to have lunch with me on Monday? Lawrence Associates looks forward to your return._

_Rosalie Lawrence_

Stunned, I had to reread that message several times to make sure I wasn't imagining it. I sent her a quick reply to accept, my mind racing around in circles at the peculiar request. It was succinct enough in true Rosalie fashion, but it was more than a polite inquiry between associates and so... out of the blue.

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**Many of you have asked if IHYKM is ending. According to my outline, I've gauged six more chapters to come. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Three drafts later… **

**Hi everyone! Special thanks to Nicnicd for being awesomely attentive this round, and to Dollegirl for always lending an ear and being supportive.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight……………just a Ducky #6**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_There is nothing like the razor sharp tongue of a good friend to cut through the lies we tell ourselves." – Laura Moncur_

"_To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others." - Anne-Sophie Swetchine_

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

"A white wine, please; whatever you have by the glass," Rose told the waiter.

He was young and gangly with an Adam's apple that protruded awkwardly and large, innocent-looking blue eyes. They were currently wide and staring as he met Rose's confident, polite request. With his shaky, eager demeanor to please it seemed as if he had only recently started working at this bistro. He certainly wasn't prepared to have the beautiful Rosalie Lawrence waltz in during his shift today.

Nervously, he turned to me. "And for you, miss?"

Hell, I was nervous, too. Luckily, I didn't have to debate on whether ordering alcohol during my lunch hour was appropriate. "I'll have the same."

He gave me a shaky smile and cast another shy, interested glance at Rose before bounding off. Poor kid.

This lunch was more awkward than I had anticipated. Rose asked how I was feeling and I told her I was doing better and happy to be back at work.

"I'm glad to hear it," she replied enigmatically.

Aside from the small clanks of silverware on plates and quiet chatter from other tables, silence rushed in and settled over our tables almost immediately. I pretended to be mildly distracted by other people being seated around us. Rosalie was my superior at work and I had to follow her lead, therefore, I kept my mouth shut in uncertainty. It was the longest two minutes of my life until our wine arrived.

In the same fashion Rose and I tipped our glasses back and took extended draws, gulping the cool liquid down. I wiped my mouth with a napkin as Rose set down her empty glass on the tablecloth, making a puckered expression.

"Well, that's better," she admitted.

I smiled. There was more silence, but my patience started to waver and the one topic I was prepared to avoid came flying out of my mouth. "So… how is Emmett?"

"Didn't you see him on Saturday?" she asked with a slender, raised brow.

I threw back the last bit of my wine. "Right, yeah. He helped me transport my suitcase back to my apartment."

"I'm guessing that you stayed with Edward all week?" she continued, playing with the stem of her empty glass.

For a quick moment, I'd forgotten that Rosalie was my boss and worried that she would disapprove of my involvement with Edward since we worked together—despite her urging me toward him in the past. What I had with Edward was real now and I didn't want it to conflict with my job.

The waiter promptly appeared out of nowhere with two fresh glass. I liked this bistro already.

"Well, yeah. He has an upscale view of the city and high-end appliances," I joked dryly, slipping back into my comfortable ways of deflection.

After a pause, Rose threw her head back and laughed loudly.

Half-startled by her outburst, I giggled a little and took another sip from my wine glass. After a moment, our nervous laughter tapered off and Rose grew very serious.

"Do you know what N.O.W. is, Isabella?"

My features scrunched together as I briefly searched my brain. "You're talking about the National Organization for Women?"

She almost smiled. "Yes, exactly. Have you ever considered joining?" She licked her lips, quickly continuing and not pausing long enough for me to answer. "Sometimes it helps after… I used to volunteer for them part-time right after I graduated Law school."

Questions bloomed in my mind as I wondered why Rose was bringing up this subject, and furthermore, why she had joined herself. Part of me thought it might have been an internship, but by the graveness of her expression, I suspected something else had happened. I was about to politely inquire, but she continued again, now averting her gaze to the wine glass in front of her. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "A long time ago, under very different circumstances, I was in a similar situation as you were, but… I had nobody to save me."

My breath stuck in my throat and my stomach did a heavy somersault by what Rosalie had just shared. More questions skidded around in my mind, yet I was too overwhelmed to speak any of it. Rosalie Lawrence never seemed to display any sign of this in the way she ran the office or even privately. She was bold and vibrant, confident with her sexuality and in-charge of herself. Deep down, something else lurked, and I was no longer ignorant of how strongly independent and complex of a person she was.

Seeing my expression, she relaxed a little and spoke quietly, reassuringly.

"Like I said, it was ages ago. I was in my last year of Law school and thought I had met the man of my dreams. I thought I was going to graduate, find a job at a small firm, and live happily ever after with a young, dashing husband." Her face twisted slightly at the memory.

Swallowing, I finally found my voice. "Is this the reason you asked me out to lunch?" I asked gently.

"One of them, yes," she answered, meeting my curious eyes with a solemn expression. "I just wanted to tell you that if you needed to confide in anyone about what almost happened, I would be the right person. And there's always N.O.W."

"I… thank you." I was still too stunned to form more words. Rose was offering me an outlet if I needed one.

A mixture of emotions rattled through me. I wanted to confess that I slept with the lights on when Edward wasn't with me, that I kept the TV turned on for background noise, and that I only enjoyed cooking in Edward's kitchen now. My chest tightened and I blinked back the burning introduction of tears. So much had changed in the last few months, all because we didn't go about life robotically, but shared ourselves with each other bit by bit. I had the impulse to cry and hug my boss. I sat across from her, my thoughts moving to the woman she used to be and who she was now. How people changed our lives in unforeseen ways. About James. About Emmett. Did my friend know of his girlfriend's scarring past?

"Royce King," she stated, breaking my muddled thoughts. My eyes met her sharp blue ones again. Her tone was matter-of-fact and held no strong emotion like I would have expected. "That was his name."

"You mentioned that you were supposed to get married?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to pry into Rose's painful past.

She nodded, taking a sip of her wine. "He was attractive, interesting, and from a rich family. But you have to understand, despite the spoiled self-entitlement, Royce knew how to charm a woman with his manners and money. The "Vanderbilt family" of families you could say, tracing back to several generations of businessmen who acquired their wealth like breathing air and lived far beyond their means.

I was young, eager, and in the top percentage of my class. I had always wanted to be the best and to have everything, to be _perfect._ He had no problem charming me off my feet. I didn't know what he was capable of… The night before graduation when the entire campus was throwing parties, he and his fraternity friends got too excited. I was led into a bedroom, stumbling with a few drinks already in me. I had nobody. Nobody was there to save me, not like you."

My eyes burned and blurred as I shuddered inwardly from her painful story. A salty tear fell down my cheek and I quickly brushed it away. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, clearing my throat.

"Thank you. Anyway, I've dealt with it long ago and have had many new memories that are happy and enjoyable. And I met Emmett." Her tight smile spread and her eyes softened as his name left her lips.

"I'm glad," I said, drinking more of the chilled wine. "I appreciate you confiding in me, and sharing something personal that you wished to forget."

We talked more and I told her a little about my situation with James and how wonderful Edward had been. She listened with calm interest and expressed her relief that things turned out okay. We went over a few legal details concerning James's trial as well before letting our thoughts linger in momentary silence while sipping our wine. I knew Rose was an exceptional woman, ambitiously outshining all those men in suits throughout her career, and despite the aching sympathy I felt for her painful experiences, I admired her even more for overcoming that kind of hardship.

Suddenly her eyes intensified and she set her glass down. "There is something else I wanted to ask you about…" Uncharacteristically, she started to look shy.

I sat up straighter, keeping my fingers around the stem of my own glass.

"Do you…" She paused, thinking over her words for a moment. I was afraid the awkward silence would settle again. Then her sharp, blue eyes looked at me steadily. "Forget that I'm your boss right now. I want you to be honest me, from a woman to another woman." I nodded slowly. "Do you think Emmett is serious about me?"

This was Rosalie Lawrence. The tallest, most beautiful woman I'd ever met. She strutted around the office with unwavering authority and confidence. She could suck the air out of an entire room with her presence. I was speechless.

"Is that a trick question?"

And that was when I saw it. All of her worry and uncertainty stretched to the surface. Her face fell, which she did her best to conceal behind another sip of wine.

"I mean, of course he does." Had Emmett not confessed his love for her yet? "I'm just surprised by your question," I amended. "You, above anyone, have nothing to worry about."

That seemed to surprise her. "I don't understand," she said warily.

Did I really have to spell it out for her? I took a deep breath. "Well, you're smart. You have perfect…looks, a successful career, and get the attention of anybody."

"Anybody?"

"Did you even see how our waiter looked at you before? Poor kid was trembling and blushing."

Once again, our waiter had perfect timing and took our orders. Rose looked at him this time with interest, examining him more thoroughly. He caught her eye as he finished scrawling on his pad and blushed deeply before scurrying away to fill the order.

"Hmm…" she remarked thoughtfully. "I don't usually notice people unless there's a disturbance or deadline at the office..."

Getting back to the topic at hand, I asked, "Is there a specific reason you're asking _me_?"

She set her glass down and smoothed out the tablecloth in front of her. "You know him better than anyone and that intimidates me." Me, intimidate Rosalie Lawrence? I coughed in surprise and the wine burned down my throat. I felt like I was sitting in an alternate universe all of a sudden. Rose continued as I spluttered behind my napkin. "Furthermore, you're very pretty and you have a lot of experience with men. Do you understand?"

I pushed my napkin aside and reached for the ice water, gulping it down. "You don't like that I'm friends with Emmett and think I'm a slut," I guessed, smirking.

"No," she laughed. "I'm almost positive that Emmett is the biggest slut. And if you are one, it's not really any of my business."

"True. Wait, how did you know Emmett was…"

"Like it's a big secret?" She grinned and sighed. "Look, its hard being with a man who's had more women than haircuts." She leaned forward, her slender eyebrows drawing together into a stern, troubled expression. "It makes a woman—even someone like me—insecure."

"He's set on you, Rosalie," I answered firmly.

The poor kid came back with our food and I moved my fork around my salad thoughtfully. From what I now knew about Rose, it didn't seem completely bizarre for her not to introduce Emmett to her father. And all of the hiding and sneaking around… Mr. Lawrence would be extremely protective of his daughter against every man, and despite how put together she was, this relationship had been entirely new for her. She wanted it to work out. I only hoped Emmett had the same plans in mind. I didn't like the idea of my best friend experiencing something so intimately new like that with my boss unless he was willing to tie the knot. If he ever left Rose, I might have to kill him myself.

"Rosalie, I've never seen Emmett happier and so… _committed_ as he is with you," I said with complete sincerity. "Ever. I'm really glad you gave him a chance." I swallowed hard, realizing how my own words applied to myself.

Rose's face brightened and spread with what I could only label as the biggest, most genuine smile I'd ever seen from her usual stoic expressions.

Her features continued to warm and glow. "Thank you…Bella. That really is relieving to hear."

She looked down at her plate and started cutting into her chicken contentedly. I drained my third glass and looked around for the poor kid. I caught him staring at us off to the side of the room and I waved my empty glass at him. He promptly brought me a new one. _Good boy._

I chewed thoughtfully. "Do you mind me asking…?"

"You're wondering why I would be interested in someone like Emmett," she cut in.

"I am curious, yes."

She took a sip of her wine, her face flushing very attractively. She sat back and crossed her legs, resembling my boss again. For a second, I felt like I was seated across from her desk instead of a table at a restaurant.

"Men liked having me on their arm like some party favor and showing me off to their friends. After Royce, I washed my hands of men that only cared about status. Once I was ready to start seeing people again, it was difficult to find a date that wasn't a total moron." She leaned in again, her body relaxing and her eyes sparkling. "But Emmett… he's so down to earth and _real_. Right from the beginning he was always very open and genuine. I liked that very much. He doesn't care about status and he respects me. He cares about who I am under the pretty package… and he makes me laugh. He's not boring in the slightest. He's got this honest fire about him." She smiled almost secretively, letting her memories play across her features. Then she looked back at me, coming out of her reverie. "Do you know what I mean?"

Suddenly, I got a very complete picture of Rose. A beautiful woman bearing the pressures of an only child to a rich, protective father, Rose caught the admiration of every man and the scorn of every woman, which led to people like Royce, and then to isolation and loneliness. I could no longer find it in myself to blame her for being so sour and unpleasant, and closed off in general toward people.

The circumstances and environments were entirely different, but I couldn't help feeling that Rose and I were similar. She found that one person that was good for her, and even though it was sometimes still hard for me to admit to myself, I found a person that was good for me too. Edward hadn't always been upfront with me until recently, but he pushed me in little ways that helped me realize the kind of person I secretly wanted to be.

I had the strong urge to give Rosalie some real fun—things she had probably been missing out on for awhile. My boss might actually turn out to be an incredible friend… and if Emmett loved her, that was good enough for me. Happiness crept into my gut and my chest inwardly puffed with the opportunity.

"I know _exactly_ what you mean," I replied with a smile and held up my glass to hers. "To the good guys. May we hold on to the ones we have since the rest are going extinct."

"And to us," Rose chimed in. "For giving them the chance."

"Cheers."

We unceremoniously chugged to that, draining our glasses.

Like the pistol I knew her as, Rose's wit was fast and direct, and we had similar senses of dry humor. She wanted me to tell her more about Emmett and what he was like before they met. I had no problem embarrassing my best friend and proceeded to tell her some of the outrageous pickles he'd gotten himself into.

"He ran naked down the streets?" Rose choked on a burst of giggles, her wine glass tipping in her loose grasp.

"Not entirely, but most of his clothes had already been torn away. You should have seen him. It was three in the morning, his keys were missing and he was whining at my door about a date gone wrong! He was exhausted from his escape so he crashed onto my couch like a pile of rags."

Rose took a long gulp of her wine, her face flushing with excessive alcohol intake. "Serves him right for trying to sneak in the back window of her room with a pit bull living in the yard," she remarked.

"That's exactly what I had told him," I chuckled, waving my empty glass again for the waiter. "He's been so well behaved since he met you," I added sweetly.

"Excellent. I certainly hope Da- Mr. Lawrence hasn't checked out his record for public complaints. I'm sure he has a few," she mused.

I remembered when Charlie used to do a background check on every guy I dated after I had left for college and winced on her behalf.

"And… does _Mr. Lawrence_ approve of Emmett?" I asked with genuine curiosity. I was sure that Emmett had at least been introduced to Mr. Lawrence at the company Christmas party. I would've loved to be a fly on the wall to observe that particular exchange.

"He's still getting used to his only daughter running after a man," she smiled. "But they like each other fine. Mr. Lawrence is one of the few middle-aged men I know of that still lifts weights on a regular basis and when Em offered to spot him at the gym for free, things went from there."

"Hmm…" I hummed with a smile. I was still trying to picture Chief Swan and Edward Cullen in a room together without hearing my father's shotgun being loaded.

"Surely Edward has met your father by now," Rose commented questioningly, waving her glass for a refill. She burped quietly behind her hand with a drooped smile.

"That's difficult, actually. I'm still trying to figure out how to broach the subject. My father has a vast gun collection."

"And what makes you think mine doesn't?" Her laughter rang out, high-pitched and full-bodied.

I burst out laughing too, imagining both Emmett and Edward running through the city streets with Mr. Lawrence and the Chief tailing them with shotguns.

I was starting to lose track of our refills and our general surroundings, only focusing on my conversation with Rosalie—which kept ending in fits of laughter. I was happy and light-hearted and amused by the simplest things. I was _drunk._

Startling us both, Alice appeared out of nowhere and plunked herself down in the chair perpendicular to us.

"Alice!" I exclaimed.

"Playing hooky? I don't recall giving you the afternoon off again," Rose pointed out in mock reproach.

We both looked back to each other and burst out laughing again. The air swept out of me as I giggled until I couldn't breathe any longer. I inhaled deeply, trying to ward off the giddy feeling, and wiped my eyes. Rose started fanning herself with a hand, recovering too. We were too drunk to notice Alice's lack of humor right away.

She looked tired and sad.

"Oh hon, it was just a joke…" I said, rubbing her arm lightly.

Her face split with strong emotion and tears pricked her eyes. We both leaned toward her but she held a hand up, composing herself as she turned her head away. Rose and I exchanged a glance. When Alice faced us again, her complexion was red.

"No, no… I'm fine," she sobbed under her breath. "It's not that. It's… It's…" she squeaked, finally breaking down with a small cry and tears spilled down her cheeks.

The giddy-happy feeling temporarily ebbed away as I focused on Alice. She had still been floating in this lingo with Jasper and it appeared that things hadn't gotten better since last week. Worry flooded my fuzzy mind. Things were great with mine and Rose's relationships, but Alice's—the one whose relationship was always happily set in stone—was suffering.

"You sound like a screeching ferret, calm down," I said, rubbing her back soothingly. "Is it Jasper?"

She nodded numbly, wiping her eyes.

Rose gave us a confused look.

"Jasper's been acting strange lately, distant," Alice explained. "Jesus, I need a drink." She took my fresh glass of wine and guzzled it down.

"Can I get you anything, miss?" A waiter approached as she set my empty glass down.

I gave him a double glance, leaning back to look up at the unfamiliar waiter. "Where's the poor kid?" I asked, forgetting my inner filter as I observed the tall, average-sized young man in front of me.

"Kevin had to leave. His shift was over…" he answered politely and turned back to Alice. Kevin? The gangly teen looked more like a Simon or a Eugene. My conspicuous giggles dropped off with a hiccup. I covered my mouth with the back of my hand.

"I'll have what they're having," Alice ordered with a sniffle.

After he departed, Alice gave us her full attention again. "By the way, I'm not playing hooky. The day is OVER. Have you two been drinking all afternoon?" she asked with disbelief.

Rose and I started chuckling again. "Oops…" I admitted sheepishly. "So what happened with Jasper? Did you talk to him?" I asked seriously.

Alice sighed as Rose leaned in with concern and interest. "I tried… I was busy manning litigation," she said, glaring at us, "But I think he was avoiding me, too. When I tried approaching him again as we were leaving, he blew me off and said he had plans. I mean, we always hang out after work! How could he have plans?" she asked shrilly.

"Sometimes guys have plans," Rose said calmly.

Alice shook her head quickly. "No, not Jasper. We always hang out! Or at least he kisses me goodbye! He just rushed out…" Her shoulders hung and she looked defeated. "It's been happening too often lately. He's…he's gonna leave me," she wailed.

I hugged Alice's side as Rose awkwardly patted her shoulder. "Let's not get carried away now," I soothed. Jasper's behavior was growing odder by the hour it seemed. He loved everything about Alice, even the crazier parts when she was uncontrollably excited or tried new projects, he stood by her through every scheme and event. And they had some tender, affectionate moments in the office when they thought nobody was looking. They had been perfectly happy for over a year. Why would he behave like this?

"I agree," Rose chimed in. "Want me to ask him to work late tonight?" she offered with an evil grin.

Alice laughed, wiping her eyes again and hiccupped. "Maybe. I'm pretty annoyed with him right now."

"I think we should follow him tonight," I interjected. "I mean, if you really want to see what he's up to…"

Alice's eyes brightened. "Yes! God, I'm so upset that I didn't think of that first. I'll whip out my spy gear on him," she agreed, her chin rising with determination. Her eyes were already rimmed red but now they narrowed as she focused on her new plans.

"You have spy gear?" Rose asked with an arched brow.

I rolled my eyes and sat back in my chair while Alice listed off her collection.

"…a small video camera with Bluetooth, night vision goggles, bug detectors, GPS tracking…."

I yawned, looking up just as our new waiter arrived with three fresh wine glasses.

"Okay," I cut in. "One last drink for good luck. And I do mean the last or I'll be passed out on the street during this little mission."

~/~/~/~

All boozed up and decked out in black clothing, the three of us jogged on tiptoe down the street like deer silently flitting through the woods. I had on my black stretch aerobic pants and a turtle neck shirt for warmth. All of us had our hair tied back and Alice capped her short flyaway strands under a navy sports hat.

Even though I had more experience with video cameras, Rose insisted that she be in charge of it because she had the steadiest hand. I had a voice recorder and a tiny flashlight tucked into my bra and Alice held onto the night vision goggles, binoculars, and whatever else was in her small backpack.

Nimbly, we tailed Jasper at a two-block radius as soon as he left his apartment, walking briskly down the street at half past seven. He was alone so far, which was a relief to all of us, but he was definitely on a mission. He never turned around and never seemed paranoid or wary. That was a good sign; guilty men that were up to no good usually cast glances around them.

After thirty-five minutes of walking, skipping, and crouching in stealth mode, we saw Jasper finally turn into a building. It was dark, without a sign, and looked closed for the night. Our attention perked up when someone let him in through a side entrance.

As soon as the door clipped shut, Alice turned to us. "Oh my goodness, he's a druggie," she breathed rapidly.

"Relax, Alice," I admonished in a loud whisper. "Let's not start jumping to conclusions yet. Worse comes to worst, we can ambush him at the end of the night."

"I know how to bring a guy to his knees in two strikes with the heel of my shoe," Rose added.

I snorted as Alice shushed us, adjusting her night vision goggles and peering into them.

I leaned in, wondering if I could get a look, too. "What do you see?" I whispered.

"Nothing yet, but can you please stop panting at my shoulder?" Alice growled, pressing her eyeballs to the goggles.

"Sorry."

We waited for what seemed like an endless amount of time. My wristwatch showed that it had only been forty-five minutes, but my body was beginning to ache and the day was catching up with me. I kept shifting my weight from one heel to the other as we squatted behind a few garbage bins. My ankles were sore from the stationary position and Rose kept pinching her nose at the smell of trash close by. Alice admitted that she couldn't see much, but refused to miss anything and remained still as a soldier at a post, the goggles never leaving her face.

As I sighed for the umpteenth time, we finally heard movement. The door clicked and squeaked open, seeming like a loud crack in the heavy silence of night. We startled, drunkenly trying to prevent ourselves from making noise on the gravel as we perked up from our hiding place.

Jasper had a new bounce in his step as he left the property, now walking at a faster pace. I was downright weary as I unclamped my muscles and felt the painful stretch in my limbs. Alice jammed the equipment in her backpack and we struggled to catch up with him.

"What did you see?" Rose asked in a puffed whisper.

"There was someone else inside with him," she answered in a detached tone and kept her eyes looking straight ahead. "A woman."

"Bastard," I gasped, shocked and confused. "I can't believe Jasper would do something like that."

"It looked like they were talking, but I couldn't see anything else. The angle of the wall was blocking them," she added.

We continued following Jasper back in the direction we came from. Halfway back to his apartment he veered toward downtown. The area was busier with more people strolling around—even on a Monday night. The small crowds helped us stay hidden and we could tail him more closely without worrying about making too much noise, but as we moved past people, it became increasingly difficult to keep him in sight. Alice was determined though, and eventually Rose and I fell behind.

Jasper turned into a dive bar and it was then that we caught up with Alice. I imagined that I looked like a wild wreck with wisps of hair falling out of my bun. Meanwhile, Rose looked flawless in her high-heeled leather boots, tight black pants, and a long jacket that tied at the waist.

"So what now?" I asked, fixing my hair.

"Simple. We seat ourselves at a table in the back and keep watching," Alice said, pulling out her I.D.

The place was dim and filled moderately. It was an Irish-style pub with a worn wooden bar and little crooked tables staggered throughout the rooms. The warmth of the stale beer air was welcome against our chilly faces. Jasper was seated at the bar, clearly waiting for someone. He ordered a pint, which showed that he wasn't in any hurry to leave either.

We slipped behind people across the room into a dark corner at a small table. As we were grumbling to ourselves, none other than Edward and Emmett walked in and joined Jasper at the bar. The three of us looked at each other in confusion.

"What… the hell is going on?" I asked rhetorically.

"This looks like a secret 'bromance' meeting," Rose commented with a smirk before her expression twisted. "Em said he was working late at the gym and would stop by afterwards…"

"And Edward said he had a meeting with a client," I growled. I tried to be mad at Edward for lying to me, but as my eyes trailed over how good he looked in his dark jeans and gray-knit shirt, my annoyance wavered. It clung to him in a way that made his movements look powerful and graceful.

With Alice worried sick and Edward's nonchalance about Jasper's attitude, the guys were obviously keeping something a secret. And I didn't like it.

Rose turned back to the scene, giving the men a granite stare like she gave to Jessica when she was unimpressed.

"I wonder what they're up to," Alice said slowly, diffusing our annoyed mutters.

We all craned our necks forward to see better.

Their backs were facing us as they hunched down in their stools, Edward and Emmett bending to look at something that Jasper was holding. Their mouths were moving as they conversed, but we couldn't hear their low murmurs over the hum of people in the room.

"Emmett looks awfully happy. My best guess is pictures of naked women," I said without thinking. I immediately clapped my hand over my mouth and shot Rose an apologetic look.

Smiling, she retorted with, "If it is, I don't see Edward looking away."

I scowled. Did Edward really need that extra bit of entertainment on the nights I didn't spend at his place?

"Bringing porn to a bar? Is that even allowed?" Alice asked.

"Maybe we should pay a waitress to find out," Rose suggested with a deep frown.

Alice and I looked around. "I don't think this is that kind of a place," I said, noticing only one 'waiter' walking around the room with a rag tucked into his back pocket as he cleared away empty beer glasses.

"Well I can't very well whip out the spy gear in here. People will notice and freak," Alice said with disappointment.

"Plus, you look like an alien in those goggles," I teased. Alice stuck her tongue out at me. "At least we know that they didn't come here to meet other women," I assured, opting to be positive.

My timing couldn't have been worse.

A pretty brunette approached, scoping the three of them out not all that subtly. She lingered next to Edward for a few minutes, hoping to catch his attention. I glared at her from across the room, hoping she would catch _my_ attention and leave the area. She gave up as Edward was lecturing animatedly to Emmett and Jasper and never saw her. We were about to relax when she suddenly danced to Emmett's side with determination, under the guise of ordering a drink. She looked at him with open, hungry eyes and pretended to bump into him. Emmett turned just as her purse slapped the wood floor _accidentally_. She leaned back as he bent to pick it up and I had a feeling I knew what the brunette was about to do. As soon as he straightened to hand it back to her, she swooped in with batting lashes and purposely licked her lips before gazing up at him. _The mating call._ It was done very well and I felt Rose tense beside me.

The brunette smiled and spoke with him for a moment. Emmett laughed in response and told her something that caused her to laugh as well. I glanced at Rose again, who was seething like I'd never seen before. The brunette placed her hand on Emmett's broad shoulder and leaned closer.

Rose started to tremble with anger as we stared, holding our breaths. If looks could kill… Emmett would be squirming on the floor in pain under Rose's withering glare from our corner.

Then the three of us froze in shock.

Emmett covered her hand with his, removed it from his shoulder, and placed it back on her drink. _Politely._

I didn't expect Emmett to leave with a strange woman tonight like I'd seen countless times in the past. Nevertheless, he'd never been that reserved in… _ever_.

The three of us collectively relaxed, continuing to look on. The brunette's expression went sour in offense as Emmett turned back to Jasper and Edward's conversation.

Alice let out a whispered squeal to Rose's small spreading smile. Watchful as I was, I saw Edward's head turn a fraction in our direction at the sound.

"Shit," I muttered, positioning Alice's backpack directly in their line of sight to cover our faces. We shrank back into our dim corner and my heart started pounding in my chest. I didn't know what Edward would do if he caught me lurking. In my defense, we _were_ tailing Jasper.

As the night wore on, without catching the boys in the act of anything questionable or compromising, our devious stakeout grew boring. They sipped, talked, laughed, and kept ordering pints. We perked up every time a long leggy female approached, but our attention fizzled out when they moved on to interested men—which certainly weren't ours. It was getting late and I was yawning something awful, but I wouldn't abandon Alice when she needed me.

As I people-watched around the room, I remembered the first night at Monty's when Edward initially approached me, and how cynical I was about life and people… I had been hard around the edges with a smart mouth. To see Edward brush off every woman that tried for his attention made me wonder what he saw in me from across the room that night. I know what I would've thought: a headstrong, introverted woman with a scowl painted on. I felt embarrassed by my past behavior.

Suddenly Edward stood and slipped out from his stool. With daunting realization, I saw him walk across the room, sidestepping people, and heading straight in our direction. _Fuuuuuck! _My heart thudded louder with each step he took. I wished my hair hadn't been pulled back so I could use it as a curtain to hide my profile, but there wasn't enough time. Nearing, his gaze seemed to be directed just off to the side of us, not really paying attention to our table. I caught Alice's wide eyes as we turned our heads away and bent to huddle, pretending to small talk with our backs facing the room.

I felt the air stir behind me, catching his vanilla scent as he passed. Again, we collectively exhaled in relief. I half-stood with confusion and poked my head around the corridor Edward had just vanished through. Of course…

"Lucky break, he went to the restroom," I told the girls.

"Damn, that was close," Rose muttered, not looking entirely confident about our little stake-out anymore.

"We better hurry and leave before he finishes in there," I suggested urgently.

"No way!" Alice whispered furiously. "I wanna know what Jasper's been up to. This whole night doesn't smell right."

I sighed. I knew I would stay in a second if Alice asked, but I had to try talking sense into her before she went off the deep end into a crazy, obsessive girlfriend. "Listen Alice, they've just been sitting here drinking the whole time. We've got nada-zilch-zip on them. Do you really want me to crawl along the floor and attach a bug to Jasper's coat to hear what's going on? The crowd is dwindling and the bar is going to close soon. If we don't leave soon, they'll probably see us."

Both pairs of eyes widened. Alice looked fearful, and Rosalie had a stony expression. I was glad to finally have their undivided attention and that they were starting to see things from my perspective. "So, if I know Edward, he'll be out any second and glimpse us from this angle. He's a quick pisser with two shakes to the right."

I thought I'd at least get a chuckle from Rose, but they looked terrified at this point, stunned into silence.

"What?"

"Studying my bathroom habits now?" A familiar voice said from right behind me.

Instantly my expression matched Rose and Alice's. _Oh fuck._ I slowly turned around, face-to-face—more like face-to-chest—with Edward. I looked up, meeting disapproving, blazing green eyes.

"Hi," I said in a small voice, swallowing hard.

"Hi yourself," he greeted without humor. "Do you mind telling me why the three of you have been camped out in this corner all night watching us?"

"You guys saw us?" I asked with indignant shock.

"They didn't. _I_ did," he clarified. "I'd recognize you anywhere, Bella."

"Except during last years Halloween party," Alice piped in.

He exhaled with a roll of his eyes. "The _one_ exception."

"What have the three of you been up to?" Rose asked, getting straight down to business in her 'Ms. Rosalie Lawrence' tone of authority.

"You'll find out tomorrow," he answered in a clipped voice. "The night is ending as it is. C'mon Bella," he said, tugging my arm.

"Hey!" Emmett called from the bar, just noticing us for the first time. He looked confused to see us, but beamed when his eyes landed on Rose. Jasper turned around startled, the color draining from his face when his gaze settled on Alice. His reaction puzzled me and my heart sank.

Emmett made his way over with his pint, greeting all of us. "Rose baby, I didn't know you liked this bar too. Why didn't you come over for a drink?" he asked, pleasantly surprised and completely oblivious as to why we were here and dressed in black.

Rose glanced at us. "I didn't see you with all of the people here…" she lied weakly.

My eyes flashed to Edward, who uncharacteristically remained silent.

"We'll change that right away," Emmett told her, putting his arm around her shoulders. She smiled and said good night to me, giving Alice a hopeful look before letting Emmett lead her away.

Jasper was still slowly walking over, reluctant and green in complexion by this point. Alice looked so sad…

Edward pulled at my arm again, trying to lead me away in the same fashion Rose and Em had departed. I unhooked myself from him, still frowning at Alice. Our eyes connected and I knew she needed me for support.

"Bella," Edward urged at my ear.

"No, I want to stay," I pressed without looking at him, worried for my friend.

"Very well," he muttered and out of nowhere, lifted me in his arms and threw me over his shoulder.

I choked out a shriek and my face lightly whacked into his lower back. "Hey!" I exclaimed in shock, the anger starting to bubble in my veins. "Not again, you goddamn Neanderthal!" _God, he smelled good._

"Just my drunk girlfriend, you know how it is," Edward called to the bartender, who had the nerve to nod knowingly and chuckle as he bid us a "good night" and "good luck with that one".

I was furious.

I heard the door squeak open on its hinges and a burst of cold hair hitting the back of my legs through the thin material. The door slammed shut behind us, ringing in my ears. My face was still muffled against Edward's back.

"How dare you! Alice needs me. Put me down or I'll—"

Edward knelt and set me on my feet with a jarring thud. I clenched my teeth at the impact to keep from biting my lip. We were in the parking lot behind the bar. The city was quiet now except for a few passing cars on the road. It was chillier than I thought it would be and my turtleneck wasn't thorough at insulating my body.

"Trust me, you don't want to do that," Edward said in a steely voice.

I stalked past him and he yanked my arm after two steps, bringing me back to his side with a jerk.

"Let go, I have a right to be there for her. She's upset." My breath came out in foggy puffs against the night air, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I fumed.

He bent his head until he was nose to nose with me. "You really want to rush in there and ruin a scene with Jasper down on one knee?"

I stilled, caught off-guard completely. I wasn't sure I had heard Edward correctly. I started to regret all the wine I had earlier as I fought to clear my mind. "Say what, now?"

"You heard me," he affirmed, his lips pressing into a thin line. "He's been planning to propose, and nervous as shit about it."

I didn't know what to say at first. My body relaxed at the news. I didn't want to lose faith in all relationships if theirs failed. I sighed again, hoping Alice would accept, despite all the recent mishaps between them recently. Edward was still staring me down, daring me not to run back inside. "And you knew about this?"

He nodded once.

A complicated slew of emotions filled me and I smacked him in the chest. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? I asked you about it. I was worried for Alice and you… you… Ugh!" Edward had seen how concerned I was for Alice and he didn't confide in me. All this talk about _trust_ and he wouldn't share his secrets with me. My expression twisted further. With mounting frustration, I pushed him forcefully, which didn't actually do much against his tall, sturdy frame.

He grabbed me by the shoulders. "It's not that I didn't want to," he tried, giving me a firm look.

"I'm sure you wanted to. It must have been killing you inside! You look so distraught over your inner battle," I mocked in a singsong tone, twisting out of his hold and walking angrily in the opposite direction. I remembered how sad Alice had been, crying and drinking and tailing her _boyfriend_ who she thought was possibly _cheating_ on her. Shaking with concern and worry about her entire relationship. Questioning not just Jasper, but herself.

"Bella, where are you going? Your car isn't even in this lot," he called.

"I'm going away from you!" I shouted back. After a long evening with the girls and all of our bonding (and too much to drink), I was feeling empowered and wanted to exercise my feminine independence. That's what I told myself so I didn't feel entirely immature and over-reactive. But really, I was just annoyed with Edward and didn't know how else to handle it. Here I was in a ridiculous black outfit, skipping around town after Jasper who turned out to be all good while Edward knew the inside scoop the entire time.

"Bella, would you stop, please?" I heard his steps on the pavement speed up into a jog. I started to run and had the urge to stick my tongue out at him. "I'll tell you exactly how it would have happened," he called behind me. "If I told you, and you kept seeing how upset Alice was, you would have burst with the news to make her feel better! And don't even try to tell me that things would have played out differently," he growled, picking up more speed.

"I guess you'll never know!" Truth was, Edward was exactly right. As overjoyed as I was for Alice now, I wouldn't have been able to stand seeing her questioning everything with Jasper if I had known such important information.

"And what do you even think you're doing running after people in the night dressed like that?"

I spun around and he halted in his steps. "Dressed like what?"

Edward raked his fingers through his hair before gesturing wildly to my appearance. "Like that! 1Wearing those stretchy pants…"

I spread my legs apart and rested my hands on my hips. "These are my work-out pants. What's wrong with them?"

"Nothing. Everything." He sighed heavily, torn between frustration and a smile. "I can see every damn outline of your body. Not to mention that turtleneck..." He was starting to get nervous, almost fidgety, his temper wavering as he looked me over more thoroughly.

"What the hell is wrong with my turtleneck? It's perfectly modest against the chilly weather."

"It's _tight_. Everything is tight! Jesus, are you trying to be a walking sex magnet to every man within a twenty-foot radius?!"

"If I recall correctly, the only sex magnet here tonight is you. Did you somehow miss all of those drunk, simpering women at your shoulder?"

"Don't change the subject. I'm talking about you and your carelessness. _Again_."

"Fine, let's talk. Let's talk about how you didn't trust me about what Jasper was up to." I whirled back around and found myself at Edward's car. The silver Jaguar sat by itself in the shadows with only a few other lonely cars staggered throughout the lot. Reflected light from a streetlamp cast a gleam along the edge of the body all the way to the nose of the leaping Jaguar pendant.

Edward quietly caught up with me and ensnared me with his arms.

I gasped. "Argh, let go!" I struggled to wiggle my limbs free, but to no avail.

He grunted under my attempts to escape, breathing heavier from the exertion of chasing and capturing. "Why don't you ever listen to me?" he asked through his teeth.

"We're done talking," I huffed angrily. "Now let me go."

"No, we aren't." He turned my squirming body sideways against his chest and pressed his mouth to mine roughly. His heat seared my lips at first contact and spread into my cheeks, down my throat to my swelling breasts, shooting into my fingertips.

I was stunned, but refused to succumb to this distraction. As difficult as it was, I broke my lips from his, breathing heavily. "That's not going to work this time." My muscles burned from the struggle to untangle myself from under his strength. I heaved and growled and we squirmed together for a few moments until I finally burst, "God damn it, Edward! I hate you!"

"Kiss me."

I froze, and my face was flushed from our physical battle. "What?" I rasped, confused by the softer change in his tone.

"I said, _kiss me_," he repeated at my ear. I felt his chest yield slightly, bringing the curve of my back against him

Puzzled, I leaned forward, twisting around to peer at him over my shoulder only to meet with his triumphant smirk. "Why?"

"Because..." He squeezed me into his chest and my breath caught. "It doesn't matter what you say or do or how much you curse at me and run away. I know you're a liar," he explained in a low voice, the words rolling off his tongue with a rough, yet silken quality. "I always know how you really feel when you kiss me. So just shut up and do it."

His grip never loosened and I couldn't stop staring into his brilliant eyes, despite his snarky behavior. _I'm in love with this man. _The thought was quick as a slap and resonated deep within, rushing through me and ascending in my chest. I felt like I was floating in place under his gaze.

The corner of his lip curled further, drawing my attention lower to their fullness.

I loved his lips, even the smirk that shaped them. _I must be going crazy. That smirk angers me…_

Fueled by our hot-tempered argument, he pushed his mouth against my stunned one and I inhaled sharply as he sucked my lower lip. I finally reciprocated, hungrily with a strange sense of need I'd never fully felt before. As he turned me around in his arms, my hands slid up the sides of his face, feeling the rough stubble that barely surfaced the shaven angles of his jaw, to the soft hair at his temple, bringing him closer.

Edward's hand drew up my back and pressed at the base of my neck, upturning my face as his lips parted and he slid his tongue over mine. I moaned from the intense heat, the humming sound vibrating from my throat and onto his tongue. He moaned in response, squeezing me tighter with his other hand wrapping around my lower back. I lightly clawed over his shirt as our bodies thrummed with adrenaline, feeling the familiar solidity of his warmth and protection, and the hard lines of his chest. He bent his head lower, deepening the kiss with a bruising pressure, sliding his lips over mine repeatedly, vigorously.

We could fight and shout and make love without restriction and find comfort that, no matter what, we knew each other deep down. He wanted all the baggage that came with Bella Swan and I wanted all the frustration that came with Edward Cullen.

With increasing urgency I dipped my lips to his throat, kissing and scraping a path over the heated skin with my teeth, inhaling his scent of freshness mixed with the tang of beer. His breath escaped in short gasps, his hands roaming over me and digging into my flesh. My mind flashed to the image of him at the bar, looking sexy and reserved. He was _mine_.

I clung to him and he pressed me against the side of his car. The cold metal shocked me through the thin barrier of clothing, but my front burned against him. My leg naturally curled up around his hip and I felt him pulse against me. His lips dragged down my throat, hot and insistent on my skin.

I tilted my head up and my vision flicked to the starry sky, bringing a pinhole of clarity. "Wait, here?" I gasped, already feeling his mouth descend as he tugged the neckline of my turtleneck down toward my collarbone. I wasn't sure what to do with my realization, and things were escalating quickly.

He pressed against me further in answer with a slight angling of his pelvis and my fingers twisted into his shirt reflexively. Even so, public nudity was against the law… I pulled at the door handle with my other hand before my senses clouded over again. Edward growled at this small, necessary disturbance and he searched in his pocket to unlock the Jaguar.

The car flashed and he urged me inside. We awkwardly fumbled with impatient, clawing hands in the cramped space of the backseat. Clothes were peeled and torn off, flung carelessly over the seats. Edward kicked the driver's seat forward to make more leg room for himself.

I grabbed for his solid frame, wanting to feel every inch of his heavy weight pressed against me in some kind of reassurance. As he held me close, his hand curled into my hair, tearing the elastic and loosening the tangled knot. I gasped at the snapping sound as my hair spilled out.

"I can't believe we're doing this here," I breathed as my trembling hands raked up his chest and over strong shoulder blades. His hair was disheveled and his cheekbones flushed. _God, he's sexy._ Warm and solid, sculpted and lean, he hovered over me, kissing and palming my bare skin.

"I don't want to spend another night in jail," he said with a wicked smirk. "I would fly through every red light back to my place at this point." He bent his head and closed his mouth over my nipple. The heat of his breath and sharp teeth sent a flash of goose bumps along my skin and a shiver sliding down my spine.

My nails dug into his shoulders and I arched into him for more, my eyes rolling back in raw pleasure. Impatiently, he bent his knees on the seat and dragged me forward by the hips—my back curving into a half-moon so that my legs rested on his shoulders. I didn't give a second thought to the cool leather of the center console against my back as I eagerly looked down between us. _Holy fuck._ Edward was as hard as an iron rod. I unconsciously salivated and blushed from how much he wanted this.

As he awkwardly moved to thrust, his shaft slid over my center, missing its target. I moaned and he cursed, frustration marring his hooded eyes.

"You're going to smash your head through the roof at the rate you're going." Not wanting him to hurt himself, I attempted to reposition my limbs, but he sat down and turned me around, pulling my back against his chest. Unlike the freezing leather, he was warm and I felt his soft chest hairs tickle my skin.

"How is this going to work?" I whispered, feeling him at my lower back.

He smirked at my ear. "The way it always does." His hands slipped to my breasts, hungrily pulling and squeezing each one. My head fell to his shoulder and my hands gripped the outer edges of his thighs, my breath escaping in lazy, needy moans. He was bewitching me, and I was losing focus.

Edward was right: this was how it always was. This was about sex and physical satisfaction. I did this with natural ease and excitement, like riding a bike. Some of my habits had changed, but we were just attractive, young lovers that had exceptional chemistry. Love had nothing to do with it. I focused on the pads of his fingers moving over me. It was an all consuming, otherworldly pleasure. This was with _Edward_. I wondered if he also had strong feelings for me or _what_ exactly he thought and felt. I couldn't quell my quickened heartbeat and jittery thoughts. I was optimistic and worried all at once.

Love had everything to do with it.

I turned my head, kissing him deeply and his hands grew rougher. My throat tightened with the urge to say something that reflected my feelings. To share with him. To love him wholly. I couldn't calm myself enough to think clearly or begin to form the words.

I didn't recognize the desperate sounds I was making anymore and with utter frustration at myself, I dipped my lips near his shoulder and greedily bit into his skin. I couldn't say it here, not now in this moment of wild sex and physical vulnerability.

He hissed and recaptured my mouth, tangling his tongue with mine. My nails dug further into his thighs as one of his hands moved down my stomach and hipbone teasingly until his fingers stroked the wetness between my legs.

The spiking pleasure had my skin tingling with perspiration. My body quivered with urgency, mingled with lightheadedness. Many times he had touched me like this, but my usual excitement was eclipsed by deep, amorous sensations. How could… it was _Edward's_ fingers and his low sounds at my ear, unwinding me completely. This was just fingers on flesh! It felt incredible, nothing more…

"This is what I love," he said huskily, taking a moment to taste me on his fingers.

_Love._ Just as I tried to stuff my feelings away, he had to say that word.

"I need you," I choked out, pressing my forehead into the crook of his neck. His breathing quickened with anticipation and he raised my hips, sliding me down on him. We groaned loudly, breathless, relishing our connection with slow, hard strokes.

His muscles stretched and contracted as he adjusted his body for more control. With my face buried against the salty, satiny skin of his neck I couldn't see him anymore, only feel the desperate need of his thrusting hips beneath me. It was only him who filled me with pleasure, who breathed my name, who made my skin tremble.

Spurred by the haze of lust and the onslaught of my dizzying feelings, we galloped to a blinding peak of ecstasy. We became almost vicious with our smacking movements and slow, biting kisses. My body tightened with building pressure and I moaned loud and thoughtless, another layer of sweat breaking out over my skin.

He pushed harder and we cried out together through the white haze. Unexpectedly, a hot tear pearled at the corner of my eye and I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, crushing my face against his neck to hide. I drowned in my release, tensing, letting him ride me out to a violent tremble. His pounding strokes became uneven and his body underwent a series of shudders.

We collapsed as one, lying on the seat like two survivors of war, engulfed by the pulsing thrum of our high and harsh breathing. I was in a sizzling state of bliss as I weakly rolled my head back on his shoulder feeling like dead weight. I was sure the bruises and teeth marks would form soon enough on our skins, but right now my eyelashes were wet and my lungs burned.

We breathed in silence for several moments, stunned by each other and ourselves. I tried damn hard to compose myself.

Edward started laughing between wheezing breaths, his fingers lightly drawing over my cold-sweated skin. In control of my emotions again, I began laughing too, but it was scratchy and weak.

"What just happened?" he asked with a delighted, lazy grin, slowly disentangling us.

"I…I don't know," I answered quietly, snuggling into his shoulder, feeling some of my battle wounds awakening. I was still shaken up and sought his comfort.

Edward rubbed a hand over his face and into his hair, wiping the salty sweat away. "I'm going to say it was a satisfactory punishment for you then. That's what you get for running around in tight clothes and yelling at me," he laughed, bringing me against his warm chest with a tired sigh. His hand absently fingered sore spots on his shoulder and neck. "Did you bite me?"

"That's your punishment for making me the laughing stock of the entire bar," I teased, turning my face into his neck and kissing the spot where I had left red teeth marks on his skin.

"Hmph," he pouted playfully, enjoying the affection. "Like a little feisty vampire."

"You seemed to like it at the time," I laughed. "I think we can drive home at a safe speed limit now," I commented, changing the subject.

He groaned, turning his head into my hair. "I don't think I can move just yet."

"You're right, let's stay here for awhile. I'd like to see what other areas of this Jaguar we could _christen_." I peered up at him with a secretive smile.

Edward's mouth fell open. "You got it, Ms. Swan."

I laughed again, adjusting my limbs to get more comfortable. He winced as he reached forward for his shirt and covered us with the light fabric so we could relax without the nighttime chill.

I closed my eyes, reveling in the quiet comfort of his presence. _I loved him._ Silent desperation surfaced again, and I clung to him more tightly, pressing my cheek against his chest. In all truthfulness, we didn't have to try every sexual position in his Jaguar. For once I could just lie with him for hours on the seat and be content.

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**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this one :) It was the scene in the parking lot outside the bar that sparked the idea for this story in the first place.  
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**On an exciting note, ADifferentForest asked me to be a VIP Author. (Thank you, lovely Rangers!) If you're a member, feel free to say hello at my Cabin! If you're not a member, go ahead and join—I would love to see your smile around the Forest :) My stories and future updates will be posted there in addition to FFn. adifferentforest{dot}com**


	26. Chapter 26

**Thanks to Dollegirl and my beta Nicnicd. I would be a stumbling mess without them.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…..just a ducky #6.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman." -Joss Whedon, Spike to Buffy_

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

I was overjoyed for Alice when she sailed into the office with a rock on her ring-finger. We hugged and danced in place, drawing the attention of everyone nearby. I was thankful that Mr. and Mr. Lawrence weren't in the vicinity for this short spectacle, but I assumed they would find out the news when Alice asked for extra time off to do wedding preparations.

"I'm going to be Mrs. Mary Alice Brandon Whitlock the Third!" she exclaimed in an ear-piercing soprano, shoving her engagement ring right under my nose for closer inspection.

Jasper must have been saving for a long time. The diamond was beautiful, the clarity of the stone glittering between two smaller sapphire gems.

"He always knew that I was the one for him! Can you believe it? I feel so stupid now, worrying so much the last few days."

I sat her down at her desk, insisting that she tell me everything. "You had every right to, Alice. Now start from the beginning, I'm _dying_ to know what happened."

Alice exploded with her story as she peeled off her coat. "It was the cutest, most unexpected thing. Ironic isn't it? Here I am, planning out my future everyday while everyone bites their nails over a first date, and I didn't even see a proposal coming."

She sat back in her chair, blissfully admiring her new ring. The sun behind the clouds weakly streaming through the window caught on the stone and silver band, making it flash and twinkle.

"Jazz looked so awful and practically terrified, Bella. I thought he was going to tell me he had cancer and vomit on my shoes from nervousness when he got down on one knee. Everybody in the bar quieted, which of course only made me even more nervous. I thought we would faint together on the floor."

Struck with glee, she flung forward in her chair, clutching her chest. "Then, you can't even imagine my shock when he pulled out that small velvet box… Right in front of everyone! He started by apologizing, saying he was sorry for upsetting me and acting badly, for making a mess of everything and ruining the surprise, and if I could find it anywhere in my heart to forgive him…"

Re-living the moment, her expression smoothed to sympathy, her eyes far away. I was on the edge of her desk, leaning forward eagerly. "And? I can see that you did, but what happened?" I demanded with surging curiosity.

She giggled coyly. "He didn't finish his speech because at that point I started to cry. Not because I was still angry, but just all the stress. And you know much I melt under his slanted, deep blue eyes..."

Alice trailed off again for a moment, lost in dreamy thought. The pause had my own thoughts drifting to something sweet, like Edward's eyes; the spectrum of green and depth of emotion they held… Alice shook her head, clearing it. I glanced back to her.

"So I flung my arms around him, crying into his shoulder. He hugged me tightly, and people in the bar started muttering nervously—something about crying makes guys uncomfortable. Anyway, Jasper thought his apology made me more upset, but he didn't know what else to do so he _kept_ apologizing. And you know Jazz... he's a guy of few words, but really knows just the right thing to say when the occasion calls for it. He whispered in my ear how much he loved me."

Alice's hazel eyes sparkled and a blush bloomed in her cheeks, her voice tapering off softly. "Bella, it was a moment I'll never forget. We finally broke apart and he popped open the velvet box right in my face and told me he couldn't imagine spending his life without me. That's when he asked me to be his wife…" A small tear slipped down her pale cheek, and my own eyes burned and blurred.

A trace of sadness for myself mingled with my joy for Alice. I really wanted Edward and me to stay close like we were now. It was weird thinking so far into the future from a relationship aspect, but I could only hope that after a couple years, we would still be happy like Alice and Jasper. I hugged her, both of us half-laughing, half-crying, joking about how ridiculous we looked tailing Jasper last night.

Apparently, the woman Jasper had secretly met in the store was a jewelry owner. He had picked out the ring on a previous occasion and begged the woman to keep it on hold for a day and not sell it. Then he had to get the band resized since Alice's fingers were so slender, and last night he finally went to pick it up.

"And after he slowly slipped the ring on my finger, the bar cheered and whooped, and we got free drinks until closing. It was more fabulous than a quiet romantic dinner!"

Alice proceeded to tell me the rest of the information behind Jasper's strange behavior. As they walked home after leaving the bar, Jasper spilled his guts about everything. My situation with James had him uneasy and after the horrible incident, it snapped Jasper into action. His love and care for Alice went aflame, imagining that something terrible could happen to her, and he didn't want to waste any more time. He'd been saving and dawdling with the idea of marriage, but the thought of losing Alice, or even a close encounter really cemented his decision. Every day he grew more nervous as he tried to plan a way to ask her. He wanted to blurt out his proposal so many times, but panicked under pressure, assuming that the setting had to be romantic and the moment had to be perfect. When he saw her thoroughly upset last night, he wondered why he had still waited.

I could understand Jasper now, feeling the same skittishness within me that he'd been feeling for weeks. On the other hand, the softer, feminine part of me yearned for the secure happiness Alice felt. Where every crevice of the world shines; nothing bad could ever touch you, because you're in love. I cleared my throat. "Wow Alice, that's quite a story."

"It sure is," Rose said behind us from the doorway. She gave us a tight-lipped smile and congratulated Alice. She also admitted that she didn't feel like squatting next to garbage bins in the middle of the night anymore. I had to agree.

Alice and I teased Rose about when it would be her turn to get hitched, cracking a few jokes about Emmett down on one knee. Alice claimed that since she got engaged first, she didn't care if our retired manwhore finally tied the knot, too.

Rose flushed prettily and weakly scolded us to get back to work.

It left me wondering about my theories on men, and if it was possible to find _the one_. Or if you could just learn to love anybody. Angela had her match, Alice had found her someone, but that was a given, too. Even Rose, who had been quick to disclaim every assumption I made about her, had her one. Me? I had something great. I had something beautiful. And it both scared and thrilled the hell out of me.

A headache began to form in my skull as Alice spent the morning calling each and every family member with the news, causing another wave of high-pitched squeals and Alice wiping small tears of happiness from the corner of her eyes. I'd heard the same scene replay itself behind the half-wall of our shared office for hours. I couldn't imagine that Alice had that many relatives.

It wasn't just the headache that was overshadowing my sheer joy for Alice into a state of grumpiness though. For one, I had a mountain of work that I was catching up on from being absent all last week. Secondly, a small twinge of panic was needling me in the stomach. I didn't want Edward to get any ideas after talking with Jasper so much about his newly affianced plans. _Surely he wouldn't..._ I loved him, but I didn't know how I felt about _marriage. _Despite our shenanigans, Edward was practical. I was counting on that.

Memories from last night in the Jaguar kept crashing over me like a steady ocean tide. I was a healthy mess inside—if there was such a term to call it. I was in love with Edward; the certainty of my feelings only deepened when I woke this morning.

They tainted my thoughts and decisions at every moment. Edward was part of me in countless ways, part of who I was and my life now. When people said, "When you fall in love, you just _know_ it," I hadn't realized the altruistic quality that came with it.

When James restrained me in my own apartment, all I had agonized over was how Edward would feel if I was violated and killed. Or when we made love and I wasn't fully satisfied unless he released himself with me. I cared about seeing him smile or when he overworked at the office or if he thought I looked pretty in a particular outfit. The great relevance behind these seemingly small concerns nearly had me choking with emotion at times.

Somewhere along the way, things had stopped solely being about me.

Sighing, I waged all the pros and cons of these recent developments when Edward came breezing in with two cups of fresh coffee. Bless him.

I gulped down the steaming creamy, aromatic liquid while keeping my eyes on his. We stared at each other over our coffee cups, having a silent conversation. He "told" me that I looked rather sexy in my slacks and blouse and wanted to make love to me in his office later. Well, that's what I gathered from his slow, roaming gaze down my body and then the far away eye-flicker toward his office door. I "told" him that he was very naughty by raising one of my brows, but that I approved by giving him a small smirk. Then he greeted me with a "good morning" by tipping his head slightly, a smile warming his green eyes. I "thanked" him by batting my lashes over the steaming cup and smiling back.

Men.

Jasper followed in the doorway, looking fresh as a daisy and not at all green in complexion like he did at the bar last night.

"Congratulations to one lucky man," I greeted.

"You look much healthier this morning," Edward said with a sly smile.

Jasper laughed nervously and scratched the back of his hair. "Thanks Bella. I am a lucky guy. I just hope Alice doesn't get too carried away..."

Edward chuckled as he eyed his friend. "Who do you think you're marrying?"

"Honestly Jasper, you knew this was coming. Alice has been planning her wedding long before she met you. I have no sympathy for you," I stated, holding back a giggle.

"I imagine that most women in their late twenties already have their weddings planned out," Edward commented, glancing at me.

"Not at all," I said with an arched brow. "Some don't even think of marriage, let alone fantasize about a wedding."

"Well... most women do though, even if they pretend they don't," he said, looking at me pointedly now.

This was exactly what I was afraid of. The real question was: Did Edward fear I was now daydreaming about marriage, or was he thinking about it and trying to gauge my feelings toward the notion?

I proceeded to speak carefully, but meaningfully. "I'm sure that those who seem like they're pretending aren't pretending at all. It's an illusion that a man has built for himself so he doesn't feel guilty about doing nothing except showing up at the altar."

"Maybe if women didn't turn their weddings into parades, men would contribute more," he retorted dryly.

"And if weddings were left up to men, they would end up being small intimate gatherings of close friends with an open bar. No formalwear."

"That sounds rather nice," he breathed over his coffee before sipping it.

_It does,_ I thought, finishing my own. It sounded like we wanted the same thing, which was comforting to know even though it put me on edge, too. I mean, we hadn't even declared love and here we were talking about our wedding in subtext.

"Am I missing something here?" Jasper finally cut in.

Our attention whipped back to Jasper, who we'd apparently forgotten about.

Alice hung up with another Branden relative and wheeled over to his side. "I already have a mental head-count of our guest list. Everyone in my family is so excited!"

Edward snorted into his cup while I gave Jasper a cheeky thumbs-up.

"And what is so funny, Edward?" she asked, standing from her chair. Her dreamy expression faded, replaced by a steely look.

I mentally recoiled and hoped Edward wouldn't crack a joke and give her his usual smirk.

The four of us fell silent for a moment while Alice and Edward stared at each other.

He raised his coffee cup to her. "Congratulations, Alice. Not only have you made Jasper one of the happiest men alive, but you'll be one beautiful bride," he said with slow sincerity.

Edward had an unending supply of charm emanating from his pores.

Alice gave him a dazzling smile, laced with a trace of ice to it. "Thank you, Edward."

"That's _Mr. Cullen_ to you," he smirked, sidestepping her verbal retaliation by slipping out of our office. He shot me an alluring grin before vanishing.

~/~/~/~

Unfortunately, my honeymooning stage with Edward was cut short when Alice finally threw me into her plans of wedding preparations a few weeks later. There was no real need for them to rush into a ceremony, but now that Alice had the green light, she shifted into full throttle bride-to-be mode. Their friends Peter and Charlotte came into town shortly after hearing the news to help with the planning. Alice asked Charlotte and me to join her cousins and be bridesmaids on her wedding day, and her mother flew in for a few days, too. All of a sudden a large group of people were involved.

I had only met Peter and Charlotte a handful of times when they visited for Jasper's birthday in the past. Charlotte was a quiet woman, but not because she was shy or had nothing to say. She was practical and sweet, with calm intelligence in her brown eyes. She and Peter traveled the world frequently due to his job installing money-managing software for businesses. Peter was tall, but not as tall as Jasper, with gray eyes and a casual smile adorning his features. Jasper teased him about always wearing suits since it was pretty much the only attire he wore when traveling and working. They both grew up in Texas, and had remained friends since they split for college and settled into their own careers. Peter and Charlotte were cultured and open, and always friendly. It was refreshing to see them.

Despite my joy in seeing old friends and the general warmth that came from newly affianced lovebirds, I developed a love/hate relationship with Alice over the next several weeks.

She was very sweet to include me in the entire process of what she deemed to be 'insider' planning of the most important day of her life, but it was absolute chaos compared to my usual quiet lifestyle.

Wedding planning was an excellent distraction from the loneliness of my apartment and my nervousness over spilling my guts to Edward, but sometimes I wanted to throttle her. The seemingly unnecessary decisions of choosing lace or satin that became do or die must-haves agitated me. Though Alice knew what she liked, she tried to get my opinion on everything. When I automatically agreed with her (which somehow made her annoyed), she would appeal to Charlotte or her mother.

Mrs. Branden was a short, tiny woman like Alice, but rounder around the edges. She had as much exuberance as her daughter about planning the wedding, but did her best to rein Alice in when it came to cost and pricing.

I laughed to myself several times at how I used to grumble and throw pens to cope with Edward's disturbances in my life. The next few weeks were a whole other ballpark of nonsense compared to him. Now I had the urge to throw my calendar out the window because it was filled with Alice's agenda.

My quick fixes for the sudden madness were having lots of sex with Edward. We tried to, at least. Edward grew increasingly irritated with Alice when it meant less time for him to spend with me. I understood—I was feeling the withdrawal, too. I was secretly in love and as ridiculous as it seemed, I actually felt my body ache for him when I got whisked away for a bridesmaid dress fitting.

One afternoon I was in desperate need of a little satisfaction and Alice was driving me up a wall about "the million things we have to do after work or bust". I decided to take Edward up on that unspoken offer of getting some lovin' in his office.

In my usual manner, I strode over and knocked, pressing my ear to his door to listen in. Lauren gave me a rude look, but was polite enough not to stare at the familiarity of my habits. I tried to look annoyed with Edward to keep up the charade.

"Come in," he said from behind the door.

There was nothing in the world like seeing Edward meticulously working behind his desk with one hand aimlessly threading in his own hair. His white shirt sleeves were rolled up to his forearms and his green tie hung forward as he leaned over a pile of documents. It was rather endearing to see him so intently focused on his work. I almost hated to interrupt him…

He smiled when I closed the door behind me.

By the time he dropped his highlighter on the desk, I was perched in his lap and unbuttoning his shirt. He kissed my lips hungrily with a soft groan at my unexpected attack and brought his arms around my back to hold me close. He was warm and his lips were soft, his mouth wet and tasting like French roast. I sighed into the kiss and smoothed my hands over his chest where I'd made a small opening to feel his skin. The added pressure of his erection against my thigh spurred me to wind my hands into his hair and tangle our tongues together.

Edward groaned again, the rhythm of his breathing increasing, his hands roaming more urgently down my sides. He cupped my rear and laid me down onto his desk. I felt the crunch of his papers beneath me as his hands palmed over my bare legs and slid my skirt up around my waist.

This was the first time we'd ever dared to go this far in his office. We joked and teased a lot about going at it up against his bookshelves and in his chair, but we didn't go past making out and groping with promises of more after work.

I had come to the conclusion that this was an emergency. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Edward undid his belt and wrenched open his pants, understanding the need for us to be quick. He peppered my neck with wet kisses and I pulled at his hair anxiously. His silent eagerness and my partially exposed form caused a surge of arousal to course through my veins. He raised my legs and spread them, pulling the small patch of lacy fabric to the side and bent his head. I felt his warm breath hovering over my sensitive spot. The wet flesh quivered as an abrupt knock at the door sounded.

Edward's head snapped up from between my legs and we looked at each other in silent shock.

My mind screamed all sorts of profanities as he dragged me off his desk in panic and shoved my skirt back down.

"Fucking Christ," he whispered, buckling his belt with fumbling fingers.

"You can't leave me like this," I hissed, the ache between my legs intensifying.

"Edward, you in there?" a squeaky voice called from behind the door. Jack from bookkeeping.

Edward pushed me down under his desk with a firm hand to my head and sat in his chair as he bid Jack to enter. Not that I didn't mind the bulging view I was getting from under the desk, but it was cramped and I was stuck in the small space for thirty minutes while Jack rambled on and Edward shifted awkwardly in his chair. As terrified as I was to get caught like this in Edward's office, I couldn't help using the opportunity to tease him. I trailed my hand up his leg as far as I could get away with. Every time my fingertips edged along his thigh he shifted and emitted a warning growl under his breath. I had to muffle my laugh. However, by the time Jack left and I was freed, the mood had fizzled out and I didn't want to be missing from my desk for too long since I had a meeting with Rose that afternoon.

I had never been "cock-blocked" that badly before and with Alice dragging me all over on errands, I became moody and scatterbrained.

Alice did redeem herself somewhat amidst the chaos by bringing Charlotte and I to taste an extensive variety of wedding cakes. I wasn't ashamed to admit that I tried mouthfuls of each one, and they were all delicious. After much debating and several more servings of her narrowed down choices, Alice finally decided on a cherry and ganache filling with a rich chocolate fondant icing.

Alice had a lot of connections and friends at the hotel where she booked her annual Halloween parties so she was able to secure a banquet room for her wedding reception in two months. I was shocked at her efficiency. The hotel wasn't as grand as where the Lawrence annual holiday party was held, but it was still a stunning building with a glamorous reputation and style.

The major convenience from all of these errands was that Alice knew exactly what she wanted and Jasper just wanted her to plan whatever made her truly happy. What would take most people six months to a year of wedding planning took Alice less than a fraction of that time. She had her folders and scrap-booked binder filled with details that she'd been thinking about for years. Though I had joked about it in the past, I was sure that Alice really did have all of her china patterns picked out for her and Jasper once they were newly wedded.

I didn't think that I could ever be brave enough to plan ahead quite like Alice. It was frightening to think of going through all of that work and getting my hopes up with the possibility of things not working out. Besides, even if I wanted to Edward would argue with me over every little detail should the opportunity present itself. The color of the flowers, the music, location, guest list, everything. I could imagine us already bickering like two crows over paint swatches for a new apartment... I pushed the premature thoughts away. All this wedding planning was clearly confusing my usually cautious state of mind.

"How ya holding up?" Rosalie asked from the doorway one evening. It had been another long day and I was packing up my things to go home.

"I never want to look at another wedding dress or dinner menu for the rest of my life," I admitted.

She gave me a small smile. "I can't say I'm envious to be included more."

"If you do change your mind, I'd be happy to switch places with you for the next few weeks," I joked weakly, pulling my coat on.

"Hmm, maybe you'll get a break soon," she said lightly.

"Doubtful. Alice is like the _Energizer_ bunny."

She laughed at that. "That's why I hired her. Well, you better get your rest. Have a good night, Bella." She clicked her way back over to her office, her blonde hair swaying with her hips.

As soon as I got back to my apartment, I crashed into a deep sleep from utter exhaustion.

The next morning, I received an interesting phone call from Emmett.

"I know you hate when I call you at work," he chuckled.

I laughed, doodling with a pen on yellow note paper. "I only said that because you would call about dates and completely random stuff. Admit it, most of it was unnecessary."

"So? I like bugging you." I could almost see his broad grin from over the phone. "So yeah, how 'bout that double date I was talking about awhile ago."

"I believe you phrased it as 'that shit that couples' do'."

"Yeah, you wanna?"

"Well..."

"Word on the street says you need a break from your star role in _Bridezillas_," he said amusingly.

So this was also Rose's idea... "The fact that you just made a reference from that "trash", as you put it, shows how well I've converted you over the years," I stated smugly. He grumbled in disagreement as I finished typing up some notes for Mr. and Mr. Lawrence.

"How about dinner..." I suggested, mentally thumbing through my—or rather Alice's—schedule.

"Fine by me. I think Rose would want to pick the restaurant though."

"I'll get back to you on a day and time then."

~/~/~/~

Edward and I finally got a night to ourselves. Alice was out monitoring Jasper's taste in groomsman suits, so I thankfully had a break from the chaos. Charlotte looked just as relieved to have a night off before her and Peter flew home. They were due back in a few weeks for the wedding ceremony.

I really did love Edward with my entire being, but there was still that small prick of terror that came with the vulnerability of just _putting it out there_.

Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned from Jasper. If I waited too long to reveal my feelings to Edward, I could cause damage to the current solidity of our relationship.

It was with these thoughts that I found myself in a cozy little restaurant across from him with our ice waters. We had bouts of small talk, each topic of conversation tapering off into silence. The awkwardness was my entire fault.

We were finally alone, in a romantic setting at dinner, but when I looked into his powerful eyes and thought of those three little words, my mind cramped up and the urge to run jabbed at me.

I was really fucking nervous.

The fact that Edward suspected something was wrong, therefore causing him to watch me more closely, only unnerved me further.

The moment our food arrived, we sat in silence, chewing and glancing at each other intermittently. I shoveled food into my mouth, using Emmett's tactic, thinking I could escape all conversation if I just kept chewing the entire time.

Edward ate slowly, not at all fooled that something was different. "Everything all right?" he asked, swallowing his bite of steak.

I nodded, almost trembling under his pointed stare.

Edward finished his last bite and sat back in his chair, continuing his observance of his crazy girlfriend who was munching like a beggar. The silence was almost unbearable and I kept my eyes on my food. The last bite was like a timer in its last seconds as I chewed slowly.

As soon as I swallowed, Edward opened his mouth to speak. Promptly, the waiter arrived to clear our plates and asked us if we wanted anything else.

"Just the bill—"

"Actually I'd like dessert," I piped up, interrupting Edward. I'd spent all this time worrying and working myself up to a confession that I hadn't even thought about how to phrase what I wanted to say. I didn't want to just blurt out "I love you"; I had to warm up to the subject. We couldn't leave yet.

The waiter immediately went to fetch dessert menus.

Edward's thick brows rose. "Really? You don't usually order dessert."

I mentally fumbled for an excuse. "I don't know, I'm just in the mood," I said, not really convincing him all that well.

The waiter returned with dessert menus for each of us. I ordered the largest one: The seven layer chocolate mouse cake with strawberry sauce.

Edward didn't say anything, but he seemed to be thinking something new as he watched me slowly devour the velvety mountain of rich chocolate.

It was a delicious cake; the flavors of rich, creamy cocoa sliding over my taste buds and making a nice little home in my stomach. The satisfaction took the edge off my nervousness.

"Are you pregnant?" Edward asked abruptly, his voice sounding strange.

I looked up from my plate to see him gazing at me, his jaw slack. My wrist went limp on the table, the fork clanking loudly against the lip of the plate.

"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed, my eyes wide and staring at him sharply. "Why on earth would you think that?"

Edward's rigid form thawed and he relaxed in his chair, exhaling deeply. "It's just, you're eating _so much_ tonight. It's unusual."

Well this was definitely not where I wanted the conversation to go. I did my best to keep calm. "Is there something wrong with women who eat?"

He pulled at the collar of his shirt like he was relieving himself from strangulation. "Of course not. But you're acting weird tonight. You've been acting weird since Alice got engaged..." His brows rose questioningly.

I slowly put my fork down and pushed the half-eaten cake away from me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." My determination unraveled.

He leaned forward, speaking lower. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No, definitely not. I've just had a lot on my mind—about Alice's wedding. Keeping up with all the planning has worn me out…" It was the truth in some way, if not the reason for my strange behavior.

"Then let's leave," he said firmly. He paid the bill and I left the rest of my cake on the table, glad to be leaving the restaurant and the tense moment behind us.

He reached for my hand, rubbing his fingertips over my knuckles as we drove back to his apartment.

After Edward hung up our coats on the hooks in the hallway by the door, I laid my purse on the counter and slipped my heels off. As I turned around, Edward was there, sliding an arm around my waist and pulling me against him. I hummed with pleasure, never tiring of his company and the feel of body against mine. His lips went to the arch of my neck where it sloped into my shoulder, planting soft, slow kisses. I leaned my forehead against his chest with a happy sigh, my body blooming with excitement at the tenderness pouring from each kiss.

"Hi there," he murmured, lifting his head to peer into my eyes.

"Hi," I said softly. I smiled, feeling nervous butterflies scatter chaotically in my midsection. "Um so, Emmett and Rosalie want to do a double date soon," I said, disrupting the sweet moment and gently wiggling out of his arms.

He followed close behind me into the kitchen. "I'll check my schedule during the next two weeks and we'll plan a night."

"Great." I sidled up to the counter and grabbed a red apple from the fruit bowl.

The more I stayed over at Edward's apartment, the more it felt like home to me. I tried to keep his place stocked, but it was inevitable that a single man living alone wouldn't have too much around on a normal basis. I wasn't hungry, but eating for something to do seemed a more dignified option than fidgeting.

He raised one eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Just countering that cake with something healthy," I said quickly, rushing to fill the silence.

Edward sat at one of the stools across from me, watching skeptically as I cut slivers of the fruit with a knife and munched.

"What would the future Mrs. Alice Whitlock think of you going on a couples' date without inviting her?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I don't _need_ her permission, but don't tell her."

He smirked at me. "Your free time is few and far between as it is. I wouldn't like her to put you on house arrest."

I popped another slice of apple into my mouth, enjoying the crunch and sweetness. "Nonsense, if I was stuck at home she wouldn't be able to drag me everywhere... That's actually not a bad idea," I agreed. I eyed his growing smirk with sudden annoyance. "And how come I'm the only one roped into all this tedious wedding planning? You and Jasper and Peter get to sit back and relax for weeks. It's not fair," I grumbled, snapping my teeth into another bite.

"It's been great," he laughed. "I can't believe I managed to sidestep Alice on this."

My eye twitched at him evilly. "Just wait. You might be asked to do some heavy lifting for a ridiculous ice sculpture. You never know."

"Doubtful. Knowing Alice, she'll most likely ask Emmett for things like that," he said with confident nonchalance. "Then she'll fuss over Jasper, and Peter is the best man. It looks like I'm in the clear." He didn't look worried in the slightest and continued to smirk smugly.

I was really getting tired of doing everything for Alice while the men got to sit back and enjoy themselves. With that in mind, I proceeded to give Edward a scare. He was enjoying my misery too much. I put a finger to my chin in thought.

"Actually, I do think I remember Alice saying something about you having a part in the wedding." I glanced at him innocently.

His smirk faded. "What kind of part?" he asked cautiously.

I pretended to think back on Alice's non-existent words, letting him sweat in his stool for a long moment. "Oh, it's not really a big deal. She wants you to read a poem at the reception—since you're so good at giving speeches..." Edward did love to hear himself talk and with the fact that he could command a courtroom with just his presence, it wasn't too far-fetched.

His expression lengthened. "Is it a long poem? Why would she want me to do this instead of a relative?" he asked, leaning forward on his elbows. His eyebrows drew together with severe disappointment.

"Well, I'm not really sure if she's decided on whether to choose one, or have you _write_ one," I said brightly, sympathy seeping into my tone. I had to choke back a laugh and hoped my voice hadn't quivered at all.

"I don't write poetry. I don't read it either. Alice is going too far now. She didn't even ask, assuming away like she does," he muttered in annoyance.

"Edward, this is her special day we're talking about," I scolded with fake hurt.

He ran a hand through his hair and his jaw clenched. The urge to flea the dilemma was written all over his face. "I don't see how... I guess if she really wants me to... It's probably going to be a poem about flowers and singing birds in old English. I'll have to recite it like an inspirational speech." He sighed with uneasy frustration, fisting his hair and pulling with agitation.

Now I was starting to feel guilty. "Edward... it's going to be okay."

He looked at me with irritation, the side of his hair sticking up, and his initial objection slipped into defeat. "How the hell is it going to be okay?"

"Because, I was kidding," I admitted, a small smile stretching across my face.

His expression twisted into appalling confusion as he gaped at me. "What?"

I burst out laughing, my half-eaten apple forgotten on the counter.

"Bella," he started, his nostrils flaring. "How could you make me believe... I didn't even catch the signs of you lying…" He jutted his lower lip into a pout and glared at me.

My cheeks warmed as I tried to contain my laughter behind my hands, but his owl glare only made me laugh harder. My insides shook with triumph. "Oh my God, I love you. You should have seen your face," I chuckled, wiping tears from the corner of my eyes. "Singing birds and flowers, you looked terrified!"

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "What did you say?"

Edward stared at me with wide, probing eyes. My grin faded as I thought back to my words. _Singing birds and flowers…Oh my God I— shit! _The blood drained from my face. The magic words had escaped my lips, yet the reality of their meaning hovered in the space between us.

With all anger forgotten, his face grew very soft, his deep green eyes alive with emotion: Disbelief, adoration, pure unaltered joy. My own frozen expression collapsed in response. I assumed that these declarations would occur eventually, but I'd never realized how those three words spoken could affect him so much.

"You said you love me," he finally stated.

"So, you love me, too," I replied defensively, panic seeping into my raw voice.

His features smoothed out, recovering from the shock. "Of course I do. I just... I wasn't expecting you to say it so soon. I hoped...but—"

"What do you mean "of course"? Like I'm supposed to know? And, well... you've never said it either," I huffed.

"Bella Swan," he said low and serious, leaning across the counter toward me with calm determination. "I've been in love with you the whole time."

A ripple of alarm clawed through me, curling my toes and standing the hair on the back of my neck straight up. My chest squeezed and the air in my lungs felt trapped. If I thought my slipped confession was scary, his was terrifying. My mind sped and tripped as it skimmed months worth of moments, wondering when this realization occurred for him. Where were the signs? Under every smirk, menial task and demand, raging argument, and enigmatic expression, when did this happen for him? Then glimpses of the way he looked at me sometimes, the real smiles beneath the smirk, the dark sweaty nights together...

"Did you hear me?" he asked in a gritty tone.

"I—Yes... but when exactly?" I was in a stupor of muddled flashbacks. "You must be exaggerating," I started carefully. "You didn't even know me in the beginning and we fought so much. The way we treated each other until recently..."

"I remember it a bit differently." He sat back in his stool, grinning. "The first time you glared at me with those sparkling eyes over a gin and tonic, it went straight to my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about you.

When you trashed my apartment, while fucking my brains out, I told myself that you were like a tornado, storming into my life. It was all I could think about the first time Maria scolded me as she helped repair the damage."

Indignant by his teasing tone, I threw my half-eaten apple at him. He was already halfway out of his stool and caught it mid-air. He took a bite and grinned as his teeth crunched through juicy skin and flesh.

"Every time you stalked out of my office with those swinging hips and slammed my door, I was at your mercy," he continued around a mouth full of fruit.

I made my way around the counter slowly, preparing to attack. Edward backed up in the direction of the living room, stumbling over furniture. "When you cursed at me and scowled, I wanted so badly to shut you up with a kiss. Now I can!" I grabbed my _Cosmopolitan _magazine off the coffee table and tried to swat that smirk off his face. He dodged it with a twist of his torso and continued to stumble back around the room.

"On Halloween, that boy Colin asked me why you were staring at me, and it was the first time I had hope that you didn't really hate me. He asked me if you were my girl, and I told him that I wished you were, but didn't know how to tell you," he rushed on, his words streaming together. "He told me to be honest with you. Smart kid."

My face flushed. "All this time I wondered about that! I was embarrassed when you caught me looking."

"I caught you staring many times," he confessed, grinning wider. "Then those yellow ducks; I obsessed over number six. I couldn't believe you had one up on me. But it was perfect. You could always keep up with me. It was such a thrill in my life. I knew," he continued between laughing, "that you were the woman for me."

We began circling the coffee table with locked, predatory gazes. My eyes fiercely stared at his amused ones, a smile creeping to the corners of my mouth.

"When you stapled my tie, I saw in your eyes and the way you blushed, that you wanted me, too. It was all I could do not to throw you over my shoulder and make you mine again." Edward had to stop speaking, overcome by his own laughter. His complexion was red and he tried to catch his breath. "And then Christmas, I knew I was helpless to fight my feelings. You had so much passion and anger, keeping me on my toes. What kind of man waits in a bathroom stall and then let's a woman get him plastered and arrested? A man in love—"

I snapped, launching across the coffee table at him. He caught me around the waist and we both crashed onto his leather couch. I landed atop his chest, my hair tangled in my face, and our limbs caught together awkwardly. The magazine crunched between us, and the wind felt knocked out of me for a moment.

"It sounds like torture. You must be senile. I can't believe someone would enjoy a moment of any of it," I said in a muffled voice as I tried to sit upright.

"Call me a masochist, but I did enjoy every moment of it with you," he laughed, smoothing my hair out of my face with his free hand. "And then fantasizing about you in those pink handcuffs…" He rolled his eyes upward, smiling and biting his bottom lip as he imagined.

I tickled his side, jabbing my fingers into his ribs. "You are unbelievable."

He tried wiggling away from me, his smile fading. "Believe me, Bella Swan. It's all true," he said quietly, moving the last few stray hairs out of my face.

"You've loved me the whole time..." I said slowly, more to myself with belated realization. The weight and meaning behind his playful words sunk in, heavy and real, warming over me like a hot, cozy blanket around my heart and my worries ebbed away. I felt rather silly now about how much I had panicked earlier_._

Edward's head was tucked between two couch pillows, his hair feathered out and disheveled. His face was still flushed from laughing and his green eyes were bright. They pleaded with me to understand, the amusement still lurking beneath their depths. Once again he'd been persistent and steadfast, believing in _us._

"So many times I had rejected you. Yet I couldn't stop thinking about you either, albeit they weren't always nice thoughts… And you've been so patient with me—"

Edward gently squeezed my shoulders, silencing my ramble. "No, I was the one that pushed you too far at times, even when I knew you weren't ready. You _taught me_ to be patient during a time when I selfishly thought I could have whatever I wanted. It was your stubbornness that made me realize how much I wanted you, and what I was willing to do."

Throughout all of this, with every passing day, he'd turned me, a scornful woman, into a loving person. I startled as the pad of his thumb brushed a fallen wet tear off my cheek. I blinked rapidly, clearing my vision.

"Say it again," he asked in a soft, deep voice, lightly dragging his index finger over my lips.

I paused, staring at him, waves of hope replacing every ounce of uncertainty. "I love you, Edward. Very much." I felt like I was floating again, filled with so much happiness that my body would shatter to pieces.

"I love you, Bella. Always. No matter how many times you drive me nuts." He offered a light, reassuring smile.

I smiled back, opting to be light-hearted too, and placed his hand over the magazine between our chests, coincidentally over a quiz of _How to Tell if Your Man is Lying_. "Do you swear that you love me, Edward? Tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God," I recited sweetly, my limbs languidly stretching to align our bodies flush against each other.

He straightened out his features into mock seriousness, affection softening the expression. "I do," he answered solemnly.

"Then I think we're in session, Mr. Cullen," I whispered, sliding my fingers down to the waistband of his slacks.

He grinned and took another bite of the apple in his hand. "I'd never dream of overruling you, Ms. Swan."

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**We're coming down the home stretch. Those that stuck with this little story and still enjoy it, you have my deepest thanks :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hello everyone :) Did you think I forgot about you? Never! Thanks to IrritableGrizzzly for prereading and tweaking, to Dollegirl for 'watering my plants', and to Nicnicd, who was amazing with her beta brilliance and feedback, and who didn't strangle me when I sent her this chapter more than once for edits. This would be a sad chapter without the three of them.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…just a Ducky #6.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." – Marcus Aurelius Antoninus_

"_He who is in love is wise and is becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses." – Ralph Waldo Emerson_

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

"To hell with matrimonial preparation. I'm sure Alice can survive without you for a day and pick another bridesmaid out of her parade."

In light of our newfound confessions, Edward wanted some _real_ time together. I fought a smile at his annoyance, touched that he'd missed me as much as I'd missed him. Recently Alice had been bringing me everywhere with her like a second skin. She'd claimed it was for support and didn't want to bother Jasper about so many details, but it was stressing me. It also made Edward grumpy when he made plans for us that were always interrupted by Alice's last minute agenda. Many times he growled under his breath, offering to stomp right over to her desk with a "no means no" talk, but a long kiss from me usually settled him. I didn't know how many kisses I could get away with before he snapped.

It was nothing new that Edward tried so hard to get his way, but now that I wanted him just as badly, I found his methods quite attractive and not all that infuriating.

However, one afternoon in his office, he did snap. He'd asked me out for the weekend, and when I told him I wasn't sure what Alice was doing he pulled at his hair and grumbled, pacing the area with frustration. I wish I hadn't answered him with Alice's calendar in my head, and became annoyed with myself, too. The disappointment on his face was stronger than my conscience could tolerate. It probably hadn't helped his frustration that I'd been strutting around the office for two weeks in very cute outfits. I stopped his pacing with a hug, telling him that we didn't need to notify or accept permission from anyone if we wanted to spend the weekend together. I would just turn my phone off and that was that.

_That_ wasn't just that, though. In my attempt to soothe Edward, I'd completely forgotten about our dinner plans with Emmett and Rose on Saturday. He took it surprisingly well when I mentioned it later on, and I knew it was probably something to do with it still being an Alice-free weekend.

It was a beautiful Saturday, and I could smell the first signs of spring touching the air and lingering in the trees. The weather was chilly but not biting. I did myself a small pleasure of sleeping in this morning and spent some extra time getting ready. To celebrate the weekend, I stopped into a bakery I knew Edward frequented and picked up a certain familiar box of cupcakes with pink icing. The place was top-notch, but more so, the cupcakes represented the start of our combative relationship.

He answered the door cautiously, cracking it open and peeking out. The strange behavior had me glancing behind my shoulder to see if a certain short, dark-haired bride-to-be had followed me.

"Who else were you expecting?"

"What took you so long?"

"I didn't realize I was late," I retorted with a raised brow.

He smiled mischievously. "Close your eyes."

"What? Edward, this isn't what I—"

He shushed me. "Come on. I thought you trusted me. This is part of my plan."

"What kind of plan?" I asked playfully as he stepped behind me and relieved the bags from my hands. I didn't usually care for surprises. I put on a show of huffing as he placed the bags just inside the door and went to cover my eyes with his hands. I didn't have the heart to be difficult after all the times we'd tried to make plans. His mood was contagious as we took baby steps toward our destination, and I found myself giving in. Blindly.

I should have known that there was nothing traditional about Edward and me, and this time was no exception. Even so, nothing prepared me for the sight that flooded my vision when his hands pulled back from my eyes. I blinked several times to clear the minor disorientation. Clutter and yellow everywhere.

_Hundreds_ of small, yellow, rubber ducks had exploded in his living room.

The entire room was littered with pairs of opaque beady black eyes and rounded orange beaks. The expanse of bright yellow bodies sat on his couch, coffee table, atop his TV, and other smaller surfaces. They looked like they were frozen mid-swim all over his floor, the arrangement stopping at the edge of the room. One yellow duck stood out from the group, ahead of the clutter as if leading the rest. It sat at my feet, vacantly looking up at me.

After the shock dissipated, I became aware again of Edward's hands at my shoulders, warm and pressing firmly with affectionate.

I was still registering the duck-filled room. "Wha- Where's number six?"

Edward leaned down to speak in my ear. "Safe and sound in the bedroom, as always."

I didn't know what to say. As a general romantic gesture, I would've expected a room filled with rose petals, and was instead met with a scattered arrangement of countless rubber ducks. It was glorious. The inside joke was far more romantic than a cliché of rose petals. No one had ever presented me with a gesture this big. I whipped around with a smile on my face.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"I don't need to try," he stated smugly.

"From the looks of it, you were," I said, gesturing to the room with a sweep of my arm.

He chuckled. "Maybe I was a little."

My hands smoothed up the front of his shirt. "You're good, Mr. Cullen." His hands settled at my waist, bringing me closer. "How did you even get all these ducks?" For a moment I imagined Edward hitting up every toy shop in the Seattle area.

He shrugged, belying how difficult the task may have been. "Wholesale."

"What's the occasion?"

"Can't I just do something special for my girlfriend?"

I wasn't entirely convinced, but let it go. I wrapped my hands around his neck, and hugged him tightly. "I love...your wholesale."

He bent his head, inhaling in my hair. "And I love you."

It was still strange hearing those three words from him, and it gave me a moment's pause before a rush of warmth and completeness washed over me. When I was around Edward, my body underwent varying stages of need, heat, and urgency. I couldn't stop touching him, even if it was just our fingers laced together. I needed our skins to slide and caress, for his body temperature to reach mine. And deep down, below the primal urges, there was a rooted sense of peace.

We knelt on the floor in the sea of ducks. His lips found mine and I leaned into him, savoring the kiss.

"So…I wanted to ask you about something," he murmured, placing light kisses along my jaw.

My eyes flew open as he leaned back and reached for the leader of the ducks at the edge of the room. He seemed nervous all of a sudden, which put me on high alert. My brows pulled together. I was feeling uneasy with the possibility that Edward might have gone overboard, and even more curious as to what was so special about that particular duck.

He handed it to me and sat back, resting his weight on his palms, watching me. I really hated when he surveyed me like this.

I looked down at the innocent toy with suspicion.

"Are you going to open it, or not?"

"Open it?"

I turned it over, noticing a slit in its belly. What the hell? I stretched apart the plastic-rubber barrier, and found something small, wrapped in pretty silver paper. My heart slammed against my ribcage and my face heated. I really hoped this wasn't what I thought it was... My stomach flipped with a nauseated nervousness.

I glanced back at Edward's watchful expression. He certainly wasn't down on one knee. With that line of reasoning, I was able to calm the nerves—but only partially.

The duck fell from my hands as I held the small silver parcel, inspecting it. It was a small box, but it had been hard to extract from the duck's belly. The corners and seams of the paper were folded so perfectly that I was hesitant to rip it open.

Edward breathed an impatient sigh, which I ignored.

Gingerly, I tore the edges, and the entire thing unfolded like a blooming flower, revealing a little treasure inside. A small cameo pendant the size of a nickel hung from a delicate silver chain, which pooled in the center of my palm.

Involuntarily, my eyes watered, stinging at the rims, and my face seemed to tighten with the sudden emotion. It was the pendant in the store window I'd fawned over ages ago.

My first inclination was to turn away and hide how much the gesture affected me. I caught myself. What would be the use in that? Edward could read me better than anybody. Even now, I could feel him observing my body language. I took a deep breath, stunned and looking for the right words of gratitude. After a moment, I realized that it was very silent in the room.

"That's the one you were looking at, wasn't it?" he verified, looking much too calm. He was trying to hide his nervousness. His shoulders were tense, his expression practiced.

That was the last I saw. His form blurred as unexpected tears spilled down my face. I didn't want to cry. This was supposed to be a happy, relaxing weekend. What the hell was wrong with me? I didn't cry when I told Edward I loved him, but in a room filled with yellow ducks, sitting on his floor with an antique pendant in my hand, the waterworks _had_ to turn on.

My free hand reached up to cover a sob at my lips. It was then that Edward crawled over to me, alarmed by the wrenching emotion escaping me. These weren't little smiley tears of happiness. I was happy, it was just so overwhelming to love him even more and to feel so inadequate at the same time.

"Is it not the right one?" Edward second-guessed. The sounds of rubber popping and squishing were heard under his limbs as he moved to pull me into his lap.

I shook my head, sniffling and trying to wipe my eyes with my sleeve.

Despite my confirmation that it was the right one, Edward still looked uneasy, and for once, sat there wordlessly with his girlfriend ridiculously sobbing in his arms.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked quietly.

I wiped my nose and emitted an awful nasally sound. "It's just..." I hiccupped, sniffled again, and then looked into his eyes. "All I got you were cupcakes."

"You brought me cupcakes?" Edward smiled sweetly and wrapped his arms around me.

I cried and choked on more tears. I had a wonderful man offering me everything, and I'd only managed to come up with _cupcakes_? He would always be one step ahead of me.

His hand stroked down my back soothingly, but his body shook with silent laughter.

"Don't laugh," I said, wiping my nose again. "Are you even listening? Cupcakes!" My emotions had somersaulted to an unfamiliar feeling of insecurity now.

"I'm listening," he assured, doing his best to keep a straight face. "You don't want the necklace because you bought me cupcakes."

I sighed heavily. "I love the necklace."

"Then…I don't think I understand."

"It represents us! You always plan carefully and have that 'wow' factor. I shoot from the hip and give cupcakes. You're always a step ahead of me."

"Bella," he began carefully, "I think you've missed the point."

"But—"

"It's about intention and your intentions are good. Don't use all of this about cupcakes to cover up what's really going on: you don't feel you're good enough for me. It's why you're used to running away from intimacy. Look, I like cupcakes. They make me happy because it's _our_ joke."

"You seem to know what you're doing."

"Trust me, I don't. I'm not perfect. Remember how I used to make a mess of everything just to get you to like me? As crazy as we are sometimes, you make me happy, Bella." He laughed lightly under his breath, and his eyes looked deep into mine, pleading with me to come to my senses. I sighed and ducked my head, feeling very silly with my tears.

It was gentle, honest words like that, which made me see that it was okay to freak out sometimes because Edward would always be here, quieting my inner battles.

In a calm voice I said, "You're right, Edward. You're not perfect, but you're perfect for _me_."

I wrapped my arms around him, devouring his lips in a hard kiss. We toppled onto the floor, Edward grunting against my mouth as we squashed rubber ducks beneath us. I felt his light stubble scrape my chin and his thick hair between my fingers. He groaned and smiled, drawing his hands up my sides.

Emotions ran high and eagerness overcame us, resulting in a roaring need to be closer. Kissing and loving him was a force my entire being reacted to intensely. I couldn't get to more of Edward's skin fast enough with my clumsy, impatient fingers at the collar of his shirt. My tongue touched his, and the kiss grew hungry and ardent. His hand brushed up my skirt to the slope of my thigh and I flushed everywhere. I got lost in his lips and caresses.

"What about Emmett and Rose? They'll be here soon," I mumbled, wishing I hadn't taken my sweet time getting ready this morning and strolling through the city with errands.

"We still have time," he said, dipping his mouth to my neck. His hands went to my hips, gently increasing the pressure of his fingers. His assertion of "time" was relative. We had thirty minutes until Rose and Emmett were due.

The sound of his intercom buzzing jolted us. Edward groaned in annoyance and we broke apart. He didn't move, looking like he was about to ignore the call. I couldn't help smirking at his indecision. Noting my expression, he leaned in again, his lips sensual now as they softly teased mine. My moan was followed by the sharp buzz of the intercom again, causing Edward to curse aloud.

With irritation, he grabbed the phone off his wall to speak to the doorman.

"What?" he growled.

He paused, comprehending whatever the doorman was saying. Edward's brow rose, then his eyes narrowed. Suddenly a louder shriek emitted from the receiver and I froze at the familiar voice. Alice.

"_Bella! I have a wedding emergency! You won't believe what—"_

Edward hung up the phone with a tight jaw and sighed. He rested his forehead against the wall before bumping against it a few times. As I approached him, a loud knock thudded against the front door.

"Bella, I know you're in there," came Alice's demanding shout. "You weren't picking up your phone!" Another voice, probably Jasper's, was arguing with Alice behind the door.

Edward glared in the door's direction. "I thought hanging up made it perfectly clear that she wasn't invited upstairs. The doorman is going to an earful later."

I felt uneasy, not wanting to get in the middle of this. Should I be a good friend or a good girlfriend?

"Maybe… I should just see what she wants and then send her on her way."

"No!"

"You and I both know that she won't stop pounding on the door," I said, trying to appeal to his reason. Alice had always been about Edward and me being together; surely she would leave us alone if she caught a glimpse of us clearly in the middle of spending time with each other. I hoped she would feel guilty after her unannounced entrance and leave.

"Fine. But she's not dragging you out somewhere. And we have plans in thirty minutes."

I laughed inwardly that Edward made sure to remember our double date if it meant getting rid of Alice, and that he wasn't going to get laid beforehand.

Alice continued knocking obnoxiously until I unbolted the door and scowled at her. She immediately smiled brightly, dismissing the offense of her intrusion. I sighed. Jasper looked so guilty and helpless beside her. "Edward, I'm so sorry," he began, but was promptly cut off by his fiancé.

Alice walked in with flailing arms. "That moron of a florist scheduled the flower delivery for yesterday. That's days before the wedding!" She spun around to face me. "Can you believe that?"

I wasn't quite sure where she was going with this and what it had to do with me. "Um, no?" I glanced at Jasper for more information, but he provided none. I'm not sure he even knew. Edward stood gloomily against the wall.

"After all this planning, I told the guy that the flowers had to be fresh. I don't care what he says about keeping them refrigerated, they'll be wilted for the ceremony," she exclaimed.

I didn't see how I could actually help. I figured that Alice simply wanted to vent and Jasper hadn't been an understanding ear, although he was probably more sympathetic than I was—if clueless. The men were speaking in low voices.

"I thought you two had _plans_ so I could have plans," Edward growled under his breath.

Jasper sighed, shaking his head. "I tried. Nowadays Alice can bolt while we're having sex if it has anything to do with the wedding."

Alice was too worked up to overhear any of this and I certainly didn't want to hear anymore.

"Have you talked to the florist about a second delivery?" I asked her half-heartedly, noting Edward's hands balling into fists at his side. Coming up with a solution would hopefully get her to leave on a mission.

"I gave him a piece of my mind over the phone. Now I need you to come with me down to his shop before he closes and back me up on this."

"No," Edward cut in, detaching himself from the corner and Jasper's apologies.

Alice whipped around to look at him. "Oh, hi Edward," she greeted, noticing him for the first time even though it was his apartment she'd infiltrated.

"Bella isn't going anywhere," he seethed.

Alice put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him. "She's my leading bridesmaid now that Charlotte left. I need her to help me deal with this."

"You've had her all to yourself for weeks. This is our time now, so I'm sorry, Alice, but you'll have to find someone else," he glanced at Jasper, "to go to the florist with you."

They glared at each other, neither of them willing to give in. At that moment I could care less about Alice's wedding fiasco. I beamed at Edward's tenacity.

"What's with all the ducks in your living room?" Jasper asked suddenly, breaking the tension.

Edward and I exchanged a look. Before I could come up with an answer, the buzzer rang again. Rushing to get the phone seemed like a more appealing option than dealing with an explanation for hundreds of ducks in the apartment.

"Hello?"

"Hi sweety! There you are! See? I told you she would be here," Renee said to someone else.

"Mom?" Paralyzing shock kept me in place and confusion clouded over my train of thought. This was Edward's apartment, right?

Edward, Alice, and Jasper stopped mid-argument to focus their attention on me.

"It's so good to hear your voice. We couldn't get in touch with you. Is your cell phone working? Never mind. The doorman is letting us up!" I tried to formulate a reply but the line went dead. I slowly turned, finding Edward's gaze.

"I think my mom is here? And she's coming up?"

Edward didn't respond right away, probably feeling the same shock. What on earth was my mother doing at Edward's apartment? My only conclusion was that this was a whole new level of desperation for grandchildren. A knock at the door announced Renee's arrival and Alice pouted at being ignored. Edward hadn't moved from his spot so I took it upon myself to answer his door.

My senses weren't deceiving me. Renee stood on the other side of the doorframe with an exuberant smile. "Surprise!"

Charlie popped out from behind her and I thought I'd have a heart attack.

"Dad?"

Charlie wasn't in his police uniform and thankfully wasn't carrying his gun. He wore his old canvas jacket lined with flannel and his worn jeans. "Your mother and I thought it was in your best interest to visit, what with James' trial this week… we um…"

"Your father filled me in on everything. We're here to support you darling," Renee cut in. "I got a call from Charlie as soon as I got back from vacation—"

"And I didn't see the point in waiting any longer to see my baby girl—"

"So I kept my bags packed from the Bahamas and boarded the next flight to Washington."

"And then I picked your mother up from the airport and we kept driving," Charlie finished. Why my parents had ever separated was beyond me. They completed each other's sentences naturally, where with Phil, Renee tended to talk over him. Charlie looked over my shoulder curiously as I felt Edward approach. Charlie now raised himself up to his full height. "This address was put down as your emergency contact so when there was no answer at your place…"

I backed up, inviting my parents in and introducing Edward. "This is my…" Friend? "Edward." I panicked in front of Charlie and nervousness spiked as the words tumbled out of my mouth. _This is my Edward?_

I didn't fool Renee in the slightest. "Oh, so this is _Edward_?" she insinuated with a slow nod, giving Edward and me knowing grins. She nudged me aside to shake Edward's hand, but couldn't hold back her enthusiasm and roped him into a hug. "So good to _finally_ meet you."

Charlie watched the overly familiar display dubiously before understanding settled in his features. "It's Edward, is it?" he asked in the tone a cop employs when writing up a speeding ticket. He looked Edward over with scrutiny and I nervously glanced at the two men. If I'd had more notice I would've warned Edward about their strong personalities. He seemed fairly calm on the surface and shook Charlie's hand politely as soon as Renee let go of him.

My parents were ushered farther inside, Renee practically floating with excitement and Charlie eyeing the place critically. They looked at the living room, but didn't say anything. For once, I was glad Alice was around to diffuse this inevitable tension. Charlie immediately brightened upon seeing her. He'd always liked Alice.

She updated them on her wedding, which unfortunately only got Renee more excited about other possible wedding plans—concerning me. Edward took Charlie's questions about work and living in Seattle and the "how long have you known Bella?" question somewhat well until another voice made itself known and Edward stopped mid-sentence, appearing pale.

"Yoo hoo! Anybody in here?"

An older woman with long auburn hair stepped inside, a blonde man following behind her. They smiled upon seeing so many people in the room. Alice, Renee, Charlie, Edward, Jasper, and I all stared at the couple.

Edward seemed to snap out of his shock and recovered himself. "Hi, Mom…Carlisle…?" He looked to my confused expression. "Um, Bella… these are my—"

"Bella?" the woman said with familiarity. So this was Edward's mother I'd been hearing so much about, and from the looks of it, she'd heard about me, too. The tables had turned and now I was in the same position as Edward. I wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing.

"Er, yes. Hi Mrs. Cul—"

"Just Esme, dear. It's such a pleasure to meet you. Edward hasn't stopped talking about you since Thanksgiving and—"

"Mother," Edward cut in sharply, his ears turning pink with embarrassment and his eyes blazing at her. "What are you two doing here? I thought the medical conference wasn't until next week."

The man, Carlisle, stepped forward to speak for the first time. "We decided to make a little vacation out of our trip before my conference. I hope you don't mind, son."

_Son?_

I'd been under the impression that Esme was still a single mother after the death of Edward's father. He hadn't mentioned her being remarried. I looked at Carlisle, observing his magnificent bone structure and blonde hair. He was breathtaking in his own way, but from the cleft in his chin and broader forehead, it was clear that Edward wasn't his flesh and blood. My confused brain tried to organize itself. "You didn't tell me your parents were going to be in town," I finally blurted.

"I…uh… didn't know about it until recently," Edward grappled, running a hand through his hair.

"Well it's so nice to meet you!" Renee cut in, already playing the role of mother in-law. Just seeing the hungry look in her eyes made me want to die on the spot. "I'm Bella's mother, and this is Charlie, her father," she introduced excitedly.

Charlie thankfully let down his guard in exchange for manners and greeted Edward's parents. "So, this has been going on since Thanksgiving?" he asked, motioning between Edward and me.

"Not exactly," I said, not wanting my father to get riled up. I hadn't lied to him over the holidays because at that time, nothing official had been going on. Other things had…but I would never discuss those kinds of things with him. When he kept staring at me, I figured a more emphatic answer was in order. "No," I affirmed. "Edward and I work together—"

"So you've been diddling with my daughter during office hours…" He looked pointedly at Edward now.

"Charlie!" Renee gasped "I'm sure things have been...well…they just started dating."

"Dating is a nice word for his intentions. Don't have time to meet people so you think you can fool around with Bells—"

"Now just a minute," Esme interrupted with flaring nostrils, "My son would never take advantage of a woman he works with. You can't help when you're attracted to someone and sparks fly."

"Mother—"

"Dad—"

"What about the florist?" Alice wailed. I'd forgotten she was still there. Jasper placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to soothe her.

"What about the florist?" Renee asked, switching back to wedding-planning-mode.

Alice was explaining the delivery mishap again when two more bodies entered the apartment.

Emmett and Rosalie strode in, dressed up and peeking around from the hallway in confusion. "Hey guys," Emmett greeted slowly, "When we were checking in downstairs the doorman said you were having a party of some sort up here…" I completely forgot about our double date in the midst of chaos. This was all too much. If I wasn't so curious about what would happen in the next few minutes, I might have fainted already.

"This is all very unexpected," Edward assured him, though his panicked expression didn't exactly help. "We don't have any other plans."

"Dear, were you busy?" Esme asked with concern. "We didn't realize your night was booked."

"You should have called," he snapped, then looked like he instantly regretted his tone.

"Let's not get carried away," Carlisle admonished in a calm voice.

I was surprised by the serene, diplomatic vibe that naturally poured from Edward's stepfather. Taking a note from him, I tried to bring rationality back into the conversation. "It really is lovely to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Esme," I smiled apologetically. "We just scheduled dinner plans with friends tonight, but we can reschedule now that you're here," I said quickly, hoping to keep everybody happy. I really did want to get to know Edward's parents more and I didn't like the confusing and contentious introductions.

"You made plans for a _double date_ and didn't invite me?" Alice accused shrilly, surely setting off dogs to barking within a fifty-mile radius.

Before Jasper could attempt to control his fiancé, Rosalie crossed her arms over her chest in a way that made me mentally shrink back and want to revert to calling her "Ms. Lawrence" again. "Our plans clearly weren't important to you since you feel the need to reschedule on a whim."

"Rose…" Emmett tried, looking uneasy. She raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm hungry," he finally announced.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to my other angry friend. "Alice…this isn't what it looks like."

"I doubt that," she stated acidly.

"Hey, Bella's been at your beck and call for weeks," Edward barked. "She's allowed to have a break without answering to you."

"Don't talk to my fiancé like that—"

"Edward!"

"Sorry. Mother, it's just—"

"Wedding planning is a lot of work," Renee stated matter-of-factly, "And I'd love to help you while I'm in town, Alice! I only wish Bella was as enthusiastic as you."

"Why thank you," Alice and I both said in unison, though my voice was clearly laced with sarcasm.

"Renee, don't encourage Bella and weddings… These things take time," Charlie butted in. "I mean, as you said, they haven't been dating long and…" He gave Edward a scrupulous look, no doubt wondering if he was worthy.

"I'm in love with her, sir," Edward insisted, clearly not holding himself back any longer. I was shocked by his lack of reservation.

Silence fell in sharp contrast to the chatter of miscommunication.

"Oh, that's wonderful," said Renee, her eyes watering.

A tearful, knowing smile stretched across Esme's lips. Meanwhile, I noticed Jasper and Emmett exchanging cash off to the side.

"Did you two make a bet or something?" I asked indignantly.

Emmett coughed and shoved the money away. "Of course not," he stuttered. "Jasper owed me money from a long time ago."

"You borrowed money from friends?" Alice asked. "For what?"

Poor confused Jasper looked panicked and glanced at Emmett for help. "Um…"

Emmett whispered, "Pussy" under his breath, and then decided to come clean. "Okay, okay. Chill out. We made a harmless bet to see who would cave first and say 'I love you': Edward or Bella."

"Actually, Bella said it first," Edward clarified in a satisfied tone. I didn't need to see his face to know a smirk lay there.

Emmett grumbled and returned the money to a smiling Jasper.

"You love this man, Bells?" Charlie asked. "You're thinking about getting hitched?"

Edward answered first. "We're not even close to talking about marriage."

"We're not?" I asked, the words flying out of my mouth before I could prevent it.

"You don't want to marry my daughter?" Charlie asked in a gravelly tone.

"Yes, no. I do, not yet…right now, I mean not right now," Edward stuttered uncharacteristically.

Seeing Edward falter under so many interrogations was the last straw for me.

"Hold it!" I shouted. Everybody finally shut the hell up. I took Edward's hand in mine before facing eight pairs of eyes. There were only two pairs I looked into.

"Mom, Dad," I began. "I appreciate you coming down here to take care of me, I do." I leaned into Edward to back-up my words. "But…Edward has been there for me through all of this. And no, we haven't been dating long, but we've been through a lot already. I trust him. I… I love him, too." Esme and Renee's eyes watered again and everyone's rebuttals deflated. The silence was growing awkward and I suddenly wished I had thought this speech through. "So, it's great to see you, but tonight we do have dinner plans…"

"Um, about that Bella," Emmett stammered, "It looks like you got your hands full and Alice didn't want to be left out of a double date so… we're gonna leave before we miss the reservation." Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper had already gravitated together and were backing out the door.

I sighed as they left. Edward squeezed my hand, bringing my attention back to both sets of parents.

Charlie stood with his thumbs hooked into the belt loops of his jeans and rocked on his heels. "It seems that you have things all worked out—not that I would expect any less from a Swan…" His tone was softer now, gruff, and I knew that he was trying to make amends for his accusations. I couldn't blame him for being protective of me. Renee nodded happily alongside Charlie's redeeming statement.

Edward visibly relaxed. "Bella is very important to me, Mr. Swan," he said, and then glanced at Esme. Something silent seemed to pass between them.

He cleared his throat self-consciously and Renee caught him in another hug. "I'm so happy you're there for my baby girl," she sniffed.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably at the overemotional theatrics that he was well accustomed to. "Renee… let the boy go," he suggested, now in sudden sympathy for Edward.

"Dear, what's with all the ducks in your apartment?" Esme inquired politely, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"I was wondering the same thing. It looks like a baby shower crashed in here," Renee chimed in as she released Edward from her embrace.

"Well I certainly wouldn't mind a baby shower!" Esme looked excited now as Edward went pale. He stepped in to try and explain the ducks without it seeming overly ridiculous.

I chuckled at his attempts to calm the two women, catching Charlie's mustache twitch with a smile. Then I saw Esme looking at me with shining eyes. I felt awkward as she eyed my flat belly and hips. I certainly wasn't ready to even think of raising children. Esme and Renee continued to discuss the subject from hand-me-down toys in their attics to baby clothes they'd saved from Edward and me. They cheered, realizing they were completely prepared no matter the sex of _our_ baby.

I needed to sit down before I passed out.

Seeing my obvious discomfort, Edward changed the subject and asked how long his parents were actually staying in town for. We were told a week, and since they were tired from flying in from Chicago, they said their goodbyes to check into their hotel.

"Do you need a ride?" Edward offered instantly.

"No thanks. We'll take a cab. It's not far," Esme answered with a kiss to his cheek. They smiled warmly at us on their way out.

Renee still had granny lust in her eyes after they departed. "Mom, you look exhausted."

"I am," she admitted, almost leaning on Charlie's arm for support. "I still haven't called Phil to tell him I arrived safely."

"We thought one of us could at least stay with you…" Charlie hedged, glancing at Renee.

Knowing my parents didn't have a lot of money to just throw around on hotel rooms, I stepped in like a good daughter. "Why don't you both stay with me? Mom, I'll give you my room and Dad, you can take the futon in the guest room."

They seemed in agreement with the simplified solution.

"And you'll be?" Charlie asked with eyes flicking back and forth between Edward and me.

"Oh Charlie, don't start that now. Bella's a grown woman," she said, winking at me. I rolled my eyes at all of this obvious hinting. "We'll meet you down stairs," she said, dragging Charlie with her toward the door.

When they were gone, I turned to Edward with a heavy sigh. Just how much the evening's plans had become so royally screwed up finally sank in. I was tired in my bones from the level of disappointment.

He offered me a grim smile. "That was…a surprise."

"A painful surprise," I added, resting my head against his chest. He smiled a little more when I looked into his green eyes. "I'm sorry our night got interrupted and the double date got botched."

He forced a shrug. "It's not like you had control over everyone arriving at the same time," he said, a small pout on his face.

I reveled in the brief moment of calmness and privacy, my thoughts moving back to when we'd left off before the chaos came knocking. "What was it you wanted to talk to me about before?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. Too quickly. With my parents waiting downstairs, I didn't want to pull teeth with him. Though frustrated and with added stress, Edward had not only been a good sport, but a wonderful host to the confusing chatter of guests. I was sure he swallowed a lot comments in exchange for pleasing Charlie and Renee, too. I owed him so much.

"Well… maybe we can pick up where we left off another time soon?" I kissed Edward, slow and sweet, hoping to ease his tension. I didn't want to leave him. His hand went to the back of my neck and I moaned softly when his lips increased their pressure.

My cell phone rang loudly, disrupting us. I sighed. "Crap, I have to go. I know that's them calling from downstairs."

He grumbled under his breath about "never-ending interruptions", giving me one last kiss on my way out.

~/~/~/~

The rest of the weekend that Edward had planned for us went right out the window when I had to entertain my parents instead. Though Edward was invited along, he didn't want to intrude on the little time I had with them. Renee seemed disappointed, but she got over it quickly when she turned her attention to fussing over my apartment, my appearance, even the sad bit of food I had in my refrigerator. Charlie however, seemed relieved to have his two favorite women all to himself for a few days.

On Monday Edward met us at the courthouse to see James tried and convicted. James had definitely seen better days as he stood locked in handcuffs. His hair had grown out and was pulled back into a greasy ponytail. His complexion was stony and pale, and shadows darkened the skin beneath his steel eyes. A bruise still marred his nose where I'd head-banged him and he stood stiff and awkward. I couldn't help but think of what Emmett had said about Edward permanently damaging James's groin.

The trial didn't last long. With Charlie's hand on my shoulder and Edward's on my other, we listened to James' crimes being listed off: Breaking and entering on private property, battery and assault, and in violation of his restraining order. The court found him willfully, maliciously, and purposely intent on all of these accounts. He was sentenced for thirty years to life. James and the company he worked for were still under investigation for extortion and blackmail.

As soon as the judge's hammer came down, my parents hugged me in congratulations and Edward put his arm around me.

Relief couldn't properly describe the monumental feeling that was pouring from me. To know that the justice system, that I trusted and put all my energy into, did work, that James would never torment me again, and that Edward was still right beside me was overwhelming and refreshing.

My parents insisted on leaving after the trial and had packed their belongings into Charlie's truck earlier. Renee embraced me, tears building in her eyes. "Oh sweetie, I'm so happy that man is put away for a long time," she sniffed, holding my face in her hands. "And that you have Edward… you two are going to make such handsome babies."

"Mom!" I gasped, hoping Edward and Charlie, who were walking in front of us down the stone steps of the courthouse, hadn't heard. As much as I loved her, it was time for Renee to go home.

She wiped her eyes and nudged me in the ribs playfully. "It'll be our little secret for now. But you might want to get a head start at your age before your eggs dry up. I was twenty when your father and I had you."

I didn't want to be speculating all of this yet. Renee was causing my thoughts to wander dangerously to a sweet son or daughter with my skin coloring and Edward's hair. Maybe someday, but I was working at a relationship and so far my plans extended to tomorrow and next week. I wasn't going to let any worries of the future dampen my happy relief of the trial's results.

At the bottom of the stairs I stopped and turned to her abruptly. "Thanks Mom, for visiting and your support on… _everything._"

"Any time, darling. We'll be sure to visit more now that you're getting settled. I can't wait to tell Phil all about it," she chattered on.

We hugged again before she went over to Edward and hugged him, too. I saw her whisper into his ear and his brows rose with surprise at whatever she was telling him. I was fighting the urge to halt their conversation when Charlie sidled up to me.

"Well, kid, it looks like the worst is over," he said conversationally. "The creep is lucky to be behind bars instead of dealing with me." I placed a hand on his arm to calm him and remind him that it was over. He smiled ruefully. "Well, I gotta get back to the station…"

"Thank you for coming, Dad. It was a pleasant surprise."

"I'm just glad you're okay."

We hugged briefly and it felt good to have him here. "I'm grateful to have you—even though I don't say it enough," I mumbled against his plaid shirt. He smelled of tree sap and soap, like he always did. We broke apart shyly.

"Does Edward like to go fishing?"

I'd never thought to ask. "I honestly don't know."

"Bring 'em next time you visit, if it's possible. I'd like to see for myself. Maybe I could teach him a thing or two about the great outdoors," he chuckled gruffly. Though it was clear he wanted to make up his own mind about Edward, it was Charlie's way of beginning to accept him.

I laughed. "I've never pictured Edward fishing, but I bet he'd like to." Knowing how competitive Edward was, it wasn't a far off assumption that he would enjoy the sport.

Charlie looked down, really seeing the changes in me for the first time since Christmas. Unlike with Renee, Charlie and I didn't need to say a lot. We hugged tightly and he spoke into my hair, "Take care of yourself, Bells."

"I will," I said, grinning as we parted.

Once they departed, I turned to Edward, who looked dumbstruck. He shook his head and smiled at me.

"I don't want to know," I said.

"And I don't want to tell you," he answered.

We walked together, away from the courthouse like we had so many months ago, but under different circumstances. I smiled again at how the late afternoon sun lit his hair, and I leaned into his side, glad that the day was ending.

"Oh, by the way," Edward began. "My parents want to have dinner with us tonight."

I tensed, but tried to tell myself that there was no need to be nervous.

Edward informed me that Esme wanted to cook for us at his apartment. Before their arrival I flew around his room to make sure all of my intimates were folded and out of sight. It wasn't that I was ashamed of keeping things at Edward's place, but I didn't want to appear as a slob.

I heard their voices nearby, announcing their arrival. I threw a pair of panties in a drawer and righted myself before heading out to greet them. Edward's eyes were dancing when he saw me and I knew that me spending time with Esme was important to him.

Esme looked like she wanted to embrace me, but held herself back and clasped my hand instead. "It really is good to see you again, Bella."

"It sounds like Edward told you a lot about me…" I said with a smile to hide my worried curiosity. Had he told her intimate details?

"Of course he has. He never stops talking about you," Esme answered cheerfully, as if I already knew about this.

Edward cleared his throat and his ears were bright red.

"Perhaps we should get started on dinner," Carlisle said, noting the exchanges with an observant eye. He looked like he was holding back a smile as he motioned his wife into the kitchen.

"Yes, Edward, come help me and it'll be ready in no time." She made a point of rolling her sleeves up and marched into the kitchen with Edward following. He didn't meet my eyes as he passed, and I realized he was still embarrassed by how forthcoming his mother was. Edward Cullen embarrassed? This was very amusing for me to see.

"Do you need any help?" I offered.

"No dear, you sit and relax. We've got it covered," Esme answered amiably.

I found a seat on the couch across from Carlisle, wondering more about him. "Esme has really missed him," he said, breaking the ice. "She wishes he lived closer."

"I can understand that." I didn't know what to do with my hands all of sudden, so I kept them wringing inconspicuously in my lap. "I didn't know Edward had a stepfather." Where did that come from? I hoped I hadn't offended him.

He chuckled under his breath. "Edward mentioned you were direct." I blushed, but he merely leaned back and crossed his legs into a more relaxed state. "It's all right."

"Did you recently marry?"

"I've been married to Esme for twenty years."

"That would've made Edward…"

"Ten years old, yes," Carlisle finished with a smile. "I do consider him my son."

"Huh," was my unintelligent answer. I still couldn't understand why Edward had never mentioned Carlisle specifically. A memory crawled to the front of my brain from months ago when we were strolling outside after Thanksgiving. He'd said, _"…__my parents got married quite young and always seemed insanely in love, like newlyweds."_ And at the time I'd been selfishly worried about his intentions and a necklace in a storefront window to consider the statement bizarre.

"If you're Esme's first and only husband, what happened to Edward's biological father?"

My conscience told me that I shouldn't have been prying. I hadn't known Carlisle long, but he seemed pretty open to sharing.

"Esme was very young when she had Edward. From what I heard, his father wasn't prepared for the responsibility and took off. By the time Esme found his whereabouts, she discovered that he had died in a car accident months before the baby was due. But Esme still wanted to have her baby more than anything."

"So everything worked out when you became a family," I assumed.

"Eventually," he smiled. "Not at first. Edward was as stubborn then as he is now."

"Oh, so it's not just with me then?" I cast him a sly smile.

Carlisle chuckled. "I'm afraid not. It took some adjusting to live like a family for the first few years. Edward was about to become a teenager and I wasn't exactly his favorite person at the time. He tried to outsmart me whenever he found the opportunity."

"How did he behave?"

He pursed his lips, organizing his thoughts. "When Esme and I began seeing each other, Edward was used to his position as man of the house. It had been him and Esme for years before I came into the picture. It was clear how protective he was of his mother and was hesitant to trust a male authority figure. He'd had no real example," he explained. "Post marriage, we bought a home together and it was then that Edward acted out."

"I'm guessing you had to win him over?"

"It wasn't as easy as it sounds. Edward was a handful. He wouldn't eat at the dinner table, hid things in my shoes and briefcase, and constantly moved my reading glasses around the house when I was sleeping, among other pranks. I did my best to pretend things were fine, hoping he'd give up. Edward is rather tenacious…I couldn't resist pulling a few pranks of my own."

"Wait, so you decided to compete with a ten year old?" I held back my laughter.

"I knew that the only way to reach Edward was to keep him engaged. Believe it or not, he was a worthy opponent. He wasn't good at expressing himself, so I decided to learn _his _language_._"

I was now on the edge of my seat; Edward and Esme were completely forgotten. "So who won?"

"I'd say we both did. At the time I could foresee things were going to spiral out of control and knew I had to resume a grown-up position of authority. When I did, I was surprised that all of the nonsense had led to progress: Edward began _talking_ to me, acknowledging me as more than an intruder in his life."

"So it was over after that? Everything was fine?"

He shrugged with a smile. "Well, we stopped putting clutter in each other's shoes. The dynamic turned into more of a silent man-to-man understanding when Edward reached high school. A nod, a stealthy verbal taunt, and I think deep down he wanted a father."

"Wait. So he's like this now because of you?" The playful back and forth, verbal sparring, and hesitance to express feelings were sounding all too familiar. He had matured into a quick, intelligent, good-looking man, but in some ways he was still the same ten-year-old Edward. What Carlisle said at the end struck me. Edward had challenged me so much because deep down, he wanted me. And I had fallen hard for him in return.

Carlisle's brows rose. "My son behaves this way with you?"

I shifted with self-consciousness now. "Um, that's how Edward sort of _wooed_ me. Admittedly, I'm stubborn too, and it was a long haul to get to where we are now…" I was feeling stunned by the small discovery of Edward's background. It only made me more curious about Esme's side of the story.

My gaze wandered to said pair in the kitchen. Edward and Esme worked at the counter side-by-side, their backs facing us. Esme wore an apron tied around her waist and elbowed her son in the ribs as she instructed the best way to mix a vinaigrette from scratch.

"Mother, you know I can just run to the store and get a bottle of this, right?"

"But it won't have enough citrus and I know you love my salad dressings." Edward whisked oil and vinegar and whatever else Esme added into a bowl. "You have to mix in a figure eight," she told him.

"It's counterclockwise actually," he argued. "Going in two different directions is _un_-mixing it."

She nudged him again and he chuckled, trying to stop her from taking over. "The method is meant to emulsify it. My way has worked for years. You'll do better by following it."

"My apartment, my rules," he joked.

"I'm your mother and that rules over everything."

Edward made a show of sighing loudly and slowly succumbing to Esme's figure eight. I smiled at their light conversation and seeing Edward yield easily to her requests under the bantering tone. He loved her very much and it was obvious that he was Esme's world. It was a side of Edward I hadn't seen much. Past the stubbornness lay a decent man who people trusted.

Not long after, dinner was served and the four of us sat down at the kitchen table. Esme asked me about my life in Forks and the reasoning behind my move to Seattle. Every mundane detail seemed to be of great interest to her. Edward eventually steered the limelight away from me by asking about Carlisle's medical conference. I observed their dynamic and how they spoke with respect and ease. Despite the rocky start during Edward's pubescent years, they were perfectly natural and open.

Having this sudden complete picture of Edward with his parents made me realize that he was exactly the same, the man I had grown to love. Seeing him interact with them had me wondering why I'd ever thought he was impossible to deal with.

Esme looked on also as both of the men she adored continued conversing. Her eyes were the same green as Edward's and all-encompassing love and maternal affection danced in them. It was on my shoulders to rise up and hope to meet her expectations. I would be another woman in Edward's life who cared for him, and I wanted her to approve of me.

Edward glanced at me throughout the meal and I gave him a tight-lipped smile, one I reserved only for him.

Spending time with Esme and Carlisle was more fun than I expected. They were much calmer and less hectic than Renee and Charlie, and I didn't feel uncomfortable around them. However, I still felt awkward showing Edward any affection in front of them. They didn't ask how Edward and I first met and started dating, leading me to wonder how much Edward had actually told them about me. They just seemed genuinely happy that I was with him.

I really wanted to pull all sorts of details from Edward about what he'd actually told his parents, but there would be plenty of time for that later on.

They left the day after Carlisle's medical conference, which was much too soon in my opinion. Before they got into a taxi, Esme had pulled me aside and hugged me tightly. She used the opportunity to tell me how joyous and relieved she was to see Edward happy and at peace finally. Unexpectedly we both teared up by the time we drew apart. I wiped my eyes quickly and nodded as Esme smiled and looked at me with hope.

"He's been so lost these last few years. He would never admit it, always brushing it off with sarcasm. I've been worried about him, thinking that he would never find time to date. He's always been so wrapped up in his work, but I see I don't have any more reason to worry."

I hugged her again, wishing we had more time and hoped to visit with her soon. I didn't expect her and Carlisle to like me immediately, and I was thrilled that they did. It assured me further that things could work out with Edward in the long run. We had many obstacles, but our families wouldn't be one of them. However, I knew I'd have to slow Renee down now that she'd officially met Edward.

In a lot of ways we weren't a traditional couple, but we wanted the sweeter things as much as the fiery nature that came with being together—and at our own pace.

When the taxi drove off, Edward pulled me to him as if he also wished his parents hadn't left so soon. The breeze tugged at the folds of our clothes and excited Edward's hair. He looked down at me and I could see thoughts forming in his eyes.

"Their visit was perfect," I said.

He visibly relaxed and seemed to change his mind about whatever he was going to say. "Thank you," he muffled into my hair, and kissed the top of my head.

"For what exactly?"

"Keeping my mother from nagging me any longer about settling down."

We turned and walked back.

"Oh? We're 'settling down' now are we?" It was unfamiliar hearing it said out loud, but the idea didn't seem so scary any longer. After all, committing to a man like Edward was a lot less scary than going on blind dates with stalkers.

"Yes we are, whether you like or not, Swan."

He smiled, but then I caught a flash of worry. "I hope your parents are okay with that, too."

"Of course they are," I assured, leaning into his side.

"_Both_ your parents," he clarified.

"Chief Swan is just more reserved about it…" Edward scoffed, unconvinced. "Well… we'll work on that," I smiled. "Slow progress is still progress, right?"

"If we're anything, it's definitely slow progress," he agreed, wrapping his hand at my waist and pressing me close. As usual, Edward never let a little bit of challenge get in his way.

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**Nervously biting my nails, but I hope you liked it. One chapter left, yikes! Now you can follow {at}DuckyNumber6 on Twitter for updates on his life with Edward and Bella (all in Ducky's POV!)  
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**I wrote an Alice/Jasper one-shot for FoxyFics, a team registered with The Fox Foundation to raise money in supporting Parkinson's research. If you donate a minimum of 5 dollars, you'll receive an entire collection of 22 one-shots written by some wonderful authors. The fundraiser is running August 4th – 18th. Foxyfics{dot}blogspot{dot}com.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thanks to nicnicd for her beta magic. I sent this chapter back to her four times. Even if it was to check a few lines later on, she humored me. This wouldn't be the same without her. And thanks to Dollegirl for everything.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…..just a ducky #6.**

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**I Hate You, Kiss Me**

"_When you give each other everything, it becomes an even trade. Each wins all." – Lois McMaster Bujold_

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Sunlight filtered around us in a suffused light, opaque and golden. Eagerly, I ran for him, and he ran for me, too. His arms flew around my body and he jumped off the bridge, clutching me. He laughed, his chest shaking against my cheek. The wind whistled in my ears as we shot like a bullet through the air and into the seemingly endless expanse of ocean.

My vision flickered between the blackness behind my lids and rushing bubbles of water and our clothes, as we spun and descended. I held onto Edward until we stopped moving. It felt peaceful.

Rays of sunlight poured through the water, shimmering on coral and making light and shadows flicker in a competitive dance. My hair floated, blocking my vision with its rippling, silken texture and making the movement of light look gauzy and muddled. As soon as I pushed my hair away, it floated back into place. In between its sluggish movement, I glimpsed a mouth smiling at me. I smiled back and soft bubbles escaped my lips. Above that smile were locks of hair swirling, lifting to reveal green eyes. They were slanted in amusement; with excitement, I kicked my feet harder to keep up with him.

Slow motion is always annoying in dreams.

Fish darted around us, clearing a path and rejoining after we passed.

Edward's arm was stretched out, waiting for my hand to clasp his. Together we kicked our feet and smiled. He put his arm around me as we descended into murkier water. I couldn't see where we were headed, but I felt great just to be with him.

He groaned sleepily, a rumbly sound that floated on the current around me and I swam faster. When I caught up, I snuggled close to him.

As his chest hair tickled my nose, it became entirely clear that we weren't swimming under water unless I'd gotten tangled in seaweed. I slowly opened my eyes to the morning sun flecking the walls of his bedroom.

I fisted the sheet to my chest and smiled into his shoulder. His fingers lightly tapped my hip, idly brushing over my skin. It wasn't in a seductive way. His hand belonged there naturally and with me lying comfortably at his side.

Some part of my mind sliced through the rest of my sleepy haze to tell me that today was important.

I gasped and sat up too fast. "Oh crap!"

I scared the hell out of Edward. His whole body startled awake beside me and he mumbled unintelligible words while looking wildly around the room for the cause of my outburst.

"What is it?" he asked, trying to sit up. His hair stuck up at every angle.

I flung the twisted sheet away to free myself and scrambled from the bed. The sheet tumbled onto Edward and he smirked around it as I went to retrieve fresh lingerie I kept stored in his dresser.

On top of the gleaming wood surface sat a black and white photograph of us outside one of our restaurants we frequented for lunch. It was a parting gift from Laurent, one of many photos his cameraman had taken while he was following James. This photo held just the two of us, and it struck me how completely carefree and happy we appeared from an outside perspective. Edward was opening the door for me and I was smiling up at him, my hair flowing behind me in the winter wind.

Edward had put the photo in a silver frame and placed ducky number six beside it. I didn't have anything like that in my apartment, but I spent most nights at Edward's anyway.

I bent over and wrenched open his bottom drawer, rifling through my things. He groaned with longing, but I didn't have time to follow up on that sensual mating call.

"Alice is getting married today!"

I went to the bathroom with my change of clothes and started the shower. It had been a long night and I could feel the strain in my limbs as they loosened with every step and bead of hot water pattering against my skin.

After Esme and Carlisle went back to Chicago, we found ourselves in an interesting period of calm.

I had Renee to thank for this sudden calmness in my schedule, too. With the encouraging advice and concern from my mother, Alice had gone off to deal with her florist debacle in a new spirit. I'd decided to give her Renee's personal cell phone number to deal with other such "emergencies" until the day of the wedding. Alice admitted that my mother was by far a better help to her than I had ever been during the past few weeks. I hadn't been offended in the slightest.

Despite the quiet, we both seemed to continue digesting the whirlwind that had taken place. I asked Edward more about his childhood and his relationship with Carlisle.

He told me that growing up, he was bitter about his father's abandonment of Esme. Even though his father died before Edward was born, some part of him had wished the man could've seen how well his son had turned out. From that feeling, he'd always felt compelled to protect his mother. It hadn't occurred to the young lawyer-to-be that someone else would come along and want to protect Esme, too. Grimly, he admitted that he hadn't been on his best behavior to Carlisle until much later, after Esme had married him.

I wondered what behavioral attributes Edward received from his father's gene pool, and how much had developed as a reaction to Carlisle joining his family. The only person who would really know was Esme.

In time, I would feel comfortable enough asking her. However, it wasn't something I dwelled on. Edward was my match intellectually and sexually. The amount of times we'd quarreled only cemented how evenly matched we were and, from that intense chemistry, spawned the growing foundation of our relationship. Since I'd been a self-sufficient grown-up most of my life, I never gave into things easily and, needless to say, it kept things very exciting when exploring all of this with him.

Truly, I thought it might have been the reason I was both so initially attracted to him and also so wary of him at the same time. He challenged me in new, exciting, and utterly terrifying ways.

I liked it.

With his parents and mine out of the way, wedding fever kept firmly in check, and a new understanding of the man I loved, it was just Edward and me. Alone. Finally.

We made plans that wouldn't be broken. There had been some kind of controlled excitement in his voice when he'd asked me if I was ready to play.

I easily agreed, not knowing what he was up to, but happy to spend time with him. My answer had been followed by a smoldering glint in his eyes as he removed my jacket and held a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs in my face.

"Found these in your car," he said, grinning.

My skin had flushed and rose with gooseflesh as he undressed me, unbuttoning and sliding clothing off. His palms cupped and massaged, igniting small fires inside me. His mouth was hungry and slow, nibbling me in just the right places. He'd really taken his time. Despite my struggle against the handcuffs, I trusted and wanted him, and found myself shamelessly begging for more.

After he'd taken me beyond my limits of ecstasy, I'd felt tired and rattled and utterly satisfied. Then I regained a shred of my composure, I did the same for him. We were slow, reveling in our intimacy and new experiences of trust and pleasure.

I shivered under the hot water, just remembering, and continued lathering my skin in soap and scrubbing shampoo in my hair. My mind kept drifting to how inspiring the whole thing had been. The places he'd kissed and the words he'd whispered. And his responses to me in return were empowering when he was handcuffed under me. He had enjoyed himself so much that even a controlling man like Edward craved for me to have my way with him over and over again.

Everything about it had been sensual and downright _dirty_.

I shivered again, pulling my mind back from the memory and rinsing off in cold water. The chill was shocking and uncomfortable, but necessary if I planned to start my day at all.

~/~/~/~

If I was worried about being late when I woke up, it had nothing on the sheer terror evoked from all the missed calls Alice had left floating on my cell phone, demanding attention. Once I saw them, and the accompanying voicemails, I was actually frightened.

_Bella, it's me. The wedding starts in two hours and I haven't heard from you since yesterday morning. Call me!_

_Bella, the ceremony starts in one hour. Where are you? Call me as soon as you get this._

_I'm getting married in thirty-two minutes and seven seconds. Six seconds, five seconds… You better be kidnapped, in the hospital, or dead. Those are the only reasons a person can't use their cell phone! Where the hell are you?_

And there were many, many more. Her voice had only gotten shriller, and I inwardly winced at the verbal storm I'd be getting as soon as I faced her. I voiced my concerns aloud to Edward. "Damn it, we're late. Alice is going to kill me."

My heels threatened to trip me as I tried to hurry up the stone steps of the church ahead of Edward. The dress style Alice picked for her bridesmaids could've been worse, and I was thankful. I wore a light blue satin dress. It was strapless with chocolate-colored ribbon tied at the back to create an empire waist. The skirt's under-layers were light, gauzy chiffon.

"Alice won't ruin her wedding day by killing you. And we're not late," he said mildly. His breathy chuckle reached my ears and though he could easily keep up with me, he chose to linger a step behind.

"Enjoying the view?" I asked, a little irritated.

"I'm spotting you from behind," he smirked.

"Hmph," I grumbled.

"I spotted you from behind plenty last night, and I don't remember you complaining."

"Which is why we overslept and it's why we're late now!"

He laughed and I blushed, though I tried to hide it and concentrate on my part in the wedding. The rehearsal dinner already seemed like ages ago.

"You're just a grump because you missed breakfast," he teased.

"How you can be so darn chipper without coffee is beyond me," I snapped. I tripped on the last step as the double doors came into view.

Edward caught me around the waist and for a second, we looked pretty scandalous on the church steps. My face burned further with embarrassment as he helped me right my layers of chiffon.

"I barely had time to squeeze in to this dress," I continued, complaining away my humiliation.

He walked ahead to hold the door open for me. "And I'll spend even less time getting you out of it later."

Aware that we were entering the house of God, I lowered my voice. "I should've locked you up in the handcuffs and left you home. All this talk is distracting me."

Before he could retort, stragglers from the wedding party discreetly hustled toward us with relief and excitement. Guests were still seating themselves to light piano music that played off to the side of the benches. Edward and I separated as Alice's father, one of the ushers, guided him to be seated while I was snatched into private chambers.

"Where the hell have you been?" Alice exclaimed when she saw me. "I'm getting married in ten minutes!"

"Sorry. You look stunning."

"Don't even try that on me," she said, but the softer tone of her voice conveyed how much she appreciated my compliment.

I sheepishly greeted Charlotte and Alice's cousins.

"Honey, you don't want to get agitated today," her mother stated, fixing a tendril of Alice's hair at her temple. "Poor Jasper doesn't want a splotchy bride when he says, "I do."

That seemed to sober Alice from her annoyance with me, and the over emotional state she was already in. She nodded and took a deep, calming breath.

The ceremony was beautiful. After all of the running around and preparation, I was surprised at how simple everything turned out. Clearly I didn't know much about planning this kind of event. It made me proud of Alice for putting it together in such a stunning way. I realized that the whole affair could've been nightmarish. It hadn't been.

I was in my Edward bubble and it had clouded my perspective. Things were new, fresh, and intense. I didn't want to come up for air or relinquish my time with him in exchange for others. Looking back, a few months of wedding errands was inconvenient, but it hadn't turned my life upside down. Edward had.

While my thoughts drifted, so did my gaze. I was startled to find Edward staring right at me a few rows down as the reverend explained the significance of the ring. His expression looked so serious and all I could do was stare back, half perplexed, half mesmerized. Then his lips curved up slightly. I knew that mischievous look. My skin instantly heated. I tore my eyes away from him, letting them shift around the room, searching for a safer object or person to land on.

I had zero self-discipline, apparently. Glancing at him again, it was evident that he was enjoying my discomfort. It became a tag team of eye contact with me looking back and forth between him and the ceremony. He winked, pulled the collar of his shirt to expose a hickey I'd given him on the neck the previous night, and even had the audacity to silently mouth, "handcuffs" in an effort to provoke my lady-parts.

I couldn't decide whether I wanted to scream in outrage or laugh. I fought for composure like I'd never fought before. An outburst during the wedding was _not_ an option.

Vows and rings were exchanged and my eyes watered as Jasper and Alice kissed and were officially pronounced husband and wife. His hands carefully cradled her jaw and the kiss was very sweet. In that moment I felt guilty for behaving so snappishly at Alice. This was all for her big day, and she was planning on only doing this once.

Countless times she had dropped everything to help me out when I needed her. She was the friend who broke into my apartment to make sure I was okay on the night of the Da Vinci art opening. She was the helping hand who enthusiastically put effort into making me a Halloween costume. She helped me look beautiful for Edward several times when I was a nervous mess over a date. She kept my secrets. Hell, she'd even taught me how to walk in heels without eating the pavement.

I dabbed at my eyes as inconspicuously as possible when the wedding party filed out first. I got mixed up in the crowd and decided to wait for Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie outside the church.

The air was breezy and crisp in early March, already showing telltale signs of spring. I hugged myself against the slight chill. I realized that the ceremony was over: I had survived. In the back of my mind I'd been obsessively thinking about how all this wedding stuff was putting pressure on my own relationship. It turned out that everything was fine. As Edward exited the church, I wanted to slap him and kiss him.

Emmett and Rosalie soon joined us, preventing me from doing either. They were fairly quiet, even bashful as the four of us walked together. It was probably because I had figured out how Emmett had been sneaking undetected into Rosalie's office for months. It was all by accident, and to be honest, a mixed blessing. Our office was built in the 1920's and even though it had been heavily renovated, there were still a few quirks to the building. It was mostly loud, squeaking pipes in winter and built-in shelving on the walls.

However, Rosalie had her own personal coat closet in the corner of her office and apparently there was a small door on the back wall that connected to the conference room.

In the conference room, polished, old wood rose from the floor to a third of the way up the wall. Grainy patterns and seams were part of its charm. Well, that was until I had actually seen a section open halfway from one of these seams. Though we rarely used the conference room, we'd had a meeting that morning and I went back in during lunch to look for my pen. I was shocked to find Emmett, a big man, crawling out of the miniature door. Again, he was lucky that it was his best friend who caught him and not somebody else. The bathrooms and janitor facilities were right down the hall from the conference room, and Emmett had exited and entered in the custodial elevator.

The plan had a number of flaws in it, but I congratulated him on being highly imaginative for someone being driven solely by his dick. I'd never rat him out, even if he deserved it, but it felt extremely satisfying to have one up on them. Deep down I was uneasy about Rosalie catching Edward and me in the supply closet, but now I was secretly basking in my triumph of knowing their secret.

It was a little chaotic as everyone headed to the hotel for the reception. There was an interval with the photographer, and I spent almost an hour taking pictures with the wedding party. Thankfully Edward occupied himself at the bar with Emmett and Rose during this time and I wasn't victim to his provocations. I didn't want to look tomato red in every photo. While I stood off to the side during the just family photos, he was nice enough to slip me a cocktail.

Inside the hotel, it was really something. You'd never know that this had been the same room that hosted a Halloween party the year before. It was spectacularly transformed with cream roses, wildflowers, and baby's breath. White, crisp cloths covered tables around the room, which bordered the polished dance floor. Tea candles and low burning ceiling lights gave the room a soft glow. It was very romantic and very Alice.

With our place cards in hand, we settled into our assigned seats. Even though I was part of the wedding group, I had told Alice that I still wanted to sit with Edward, so she flexed her seating arrangement and bumped me off the head table.

After an hour of music and silverware clanking on plates, toasts, and refilling the booze, Alice finally untangled herself from her relatives and plopped down in an empty chair beside me. She sighed heavily and smiled, and her skin had a healthy flush to it.

"I was able to escape, but I don't know how long I'll have before someone spots me."

"It should be pretty easy since you're the only person in a big, white dress," I commented.

She laughed and sighed again, fanning herself with her hands. The light joke was enough to keep the atmosphere from getting awkward.

"Bella, I want to thank you for helping me with a lot of this," she began, glancing around the room at how everything looked. "I know I was difficult and it wasn't an easy job."

She looked so happy and appreciative. I smiled. "It wasn't an easy job, but it's easy being your friend and that's bound to last longer than a wedding."

Her eyes filled with tears suddenly and she hugged me tighter than I was expecting. When we pulled apart I said, "This better be your only wedding though. I can't promise I won't strangle you if there's a next time."

She laughed again and took a cloth napkin from the table to dab at her eyes. "You're going to need to have a better attitude than that if you plan on having a wedding, too."

I could tell by her tone that she was half-joking, but the words left a strange feeling in my stomach. A family member found Alice at that moment and whisked her away from the table. Whatever nervousness was swirling in my stomach, it was enough to curb my appetite. I pushed away the half-eaten dinner plate just as fingers gently wrapped over my bare shoulder.

Edward looked down at me, increasing the pressure of his fingers when I smiled at him. "Do you want to dance?" he asked. He glanced in Alice's direction with a smile, and I knew things were okay with them, too.

I noticed couples on the dance floor swaying together and put my hand in Edward's, letting him draw me to the center of the room. With natural ease and quick grace, he pulled me to him and clasped my hand, curling our entwined fingers to his chest. I welcomed the embrace and slow music, and we fell into an easy silence, both of us occupied by our own thoughts.

I was getting ridiculously sentimental. "Remember the first time we danced here?"

"You were a sexy fairy, glamouring me with your feminine wiles."

"I think you're forgetting the mysterious air that Phantom of the Opera evokes. It's very attractive to women."

"You really didn't recognize me that night?" He took in my expression with watchful eyes.

I avoided eye contact reflexively. "No."

I hadn't known it was Edward until I'd felt that specific draw to the man in the mask and just _knew_ when he almost kissed me_._ At the time, the effect he had on me indicated that he alone stirred something in my body and soul, and I hadn't found that feeling anywhere else. The absolution of that realization scared me so much that I'd sought out James. Not only was James a near-fatal mistake, but it made me understand that I couldn't fight off the feeling anymore. It had always been Edward.

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him briefly, annoyed that he could read me like an open book. "Well…I may have felt something familiar in our dance, something only _you_ can make me feel."

This seemed to excite him. "What kind of feeling?"

I tried to shrug it off. "Nothing. Just, um…an energy." I wasn't sure how to really explain the indefinable magnetic pull I had to him.

"Oh…an _energy_," he said slowly, a ghost of a smirk playing on his lips.

"Yeah," I challenged. You'd think I was leading Edward to believe in UFOs or an element of the supernatural by his skeptical tone. "The feeling is like two magnetic discs and when both are facing the right way…"

"Then it's almost impossible to stay away," he completed.

"Yes, see? An energy."

He chuckled. "So you felt this energy last autumn?"

I fumbled with my words, embarrassed that I'd let that slip out.

"There's no need to hide it from me," he assured, brushing his thumb over the front of my hand. "Not this late in the game."

I looked up at him through my lashes. "I might've felt a certain draw to you from the beginning, despite my attempts at denial and overall cynicism." It took a lot for me to admit that to him. "Don't think your mind games are justified now."

His smile folded into a serious expression. "You forget. The reason I relented was because I realized something was growing between us. I didn't want to damage it."

"You were afraid, too."

"In my own way. I finally got you, and I don't want to lose what we have." I didn't say anything else, and reveled in our steady harmony. "Which is why…" he continued after a time and paused again. There was a tenuous quiver to his voice.

"Why what?"

His throat bobbed from swallowing thickly, and he quietly cleared it. My own system spiked with adrenaline, nervousness showing itself.

"Move in with me, Swan."

My heart slammed beneath my ribs, and my gaze fell to his chest, taking an interest in the pearly buttons of his shirt. This must've been what he'd wanted to talk to me about last week, before we'd been so shockingly interrupted by our families and friends. His thumb stopped moving lightly over my hand and I looked up. He'd slipped behind an unreadable mask, except for his eyes. I should never have looked away, because despite his caution, his eyes were asking me to believe in him—in us.

"What does this mean exactly?"

He seemed to relax, but only slightly, now that I had spoken up. "It means you give your landlord notice, pack your belongings into boxes, rent a truck, and move those boxes into my apartment."

"All by myself?" I asked, smiling.

"Is that a yes?"

"Well I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I don't know what this means. I'm not ready for marriage, and I—"

"It means I want to share lazy Sundays with you, and cook for you, eat breakfast together, watch a DVD, and have you all to myself any time I want. If that's all too mundane for you, I'll fire Maria and have you clean my place in a French maid costume—"

I slapped his arm playfully. "We do all that anyway, except for the French maid costume. I don't see why we need to rush into anything."

"I want you to wake up next to me every morning, Bella."

"You do?"

"Yes, preferably naked, but I'll take you either way."

I couldn't help laughing at that.

"Say yes," he said in a low voice. His hand pressed at my waist, bringing me against him. "I'm not a man who begs. Don't make me start now…"

The wide smile on my face started hurting my cheeks, but I couldn't stop it. There was so much joy pouring from me, leaving me speechless and overwhelmed. He tilted his head down, placing a warm kiss on my lips. It caused a flutter in my pelvis and my toes to curl.

We forgot all about dancing, the soft music, and where we were. When his lips touched mine, filled with so much yearning and promise, I knew things would be okay just like I knew we were perfect together, flaws and all.

I whispered on his lips, "Yes, and don't ever change, Edward. This is going to be exciting."

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_**The End.**_

**Whether you found this story over a year ago or today, thank you so much for reading. Thank you to every blog, tweet, and whisper that recommended **_**I Hate You, Kiss Me. **_**It's meant more to me than I can express. I have the best readers; you've all been wonderful! I'm extremely behind on review replying so I appreciate your patience while I get to them :)**

**Please keep me on Author Alert if you'd like to be notified for more outtakes of IHYKM in the future, and I've been pre-writing other stories on the side and hope to post them soon. You can also follow me on Twitter (at)bittenbee and (at)duckynumber6 for updates on fic and my general silliness. **

**Have a great day!**

**~BittenBee**


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